# Sam Beckbessinger > One girl's adventures in writing, reading, and lollygagging, brought to you by Sam Beckbessinger. Featuring musings on books, money, work and happiness. Public Ghost content for AI and LLM tooling. This file includes a bounded export of public pages first, then recent public posts. Append `.md` to any post or page URL to get the content in Markdown (for example, `/example-post.md`). ## Pages ### Books URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/books/ Last updated: 2025-10-15T15:14:10.000Z *Manage Your Money Like a Fucking Grownup* is available in the following editions and formats: - The South African adults edition - The South African teen edition - [The U.K. edition](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Manage-Your-Money-cking-Grown-Up/dp/1472143442/ref=sr%5F1%5F1?dchild=1&keywords=beckbessinger&qid=1587828903&sr=8-1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [The German edition](https://www.amazon.com/Manage-Your-Money-cking-Grown-up/dp/3593510901/ref=sr%5F1%5F3?dchild=1&keywords=beckbessinger&qid=1587828908&sr=8-3&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [The German audiobook](https://www.amazon.com/Manage-Money-cking-Grown-up-German/dp/B082HZCCQS/ref=sr%5F1%5F2?dchild=1&keywords=beckbessinger&qid=1587828908&sr=8-2&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/04/058eb7a4-c30c-44d5-9674-c19bd2975e5b-original.jpeg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/04/77175904_465732207654797_4061258160639855740_n.jpg) ### About the book ****You're going to earn plenty of money over your lifetime. Are you going to waste it on stupid crap that doesn't make you happy, or let it buy your freedom and your most audacious dreams?** We never get an instruction manual about how money works. Most of what we learn about money comes from advertising or from other people who know as little as we do. No wonder we make such basic mistakes. No wonder we feel disempowered and scared. No wonder so many of us just decide to stick our heads in the damn sand and never deal with it. In **Manage Your Money Like a F\*cking Grown Up*, Sam Beckbessinger tells it to you straight: ****how to take control of your money to take control of your life**. In this clear and engaging basic guide to managing your finances, you will learn: \- How to trick your dumb brain into saving more, without giving up fun \- How to make a bona fide grown-up budget \- Why you need to forget what you've learned about credit \- How to negotiate a raise \- Why buying a house (probably) won't make you rich \- The one super-simple investment you need With helpful exercises, informative illustrations (also: kittens) and straightforward advice, this book doesn't shy away from the psychology of money, and is empowering, humorous and helpful. The book you wish you'd had at 25, but is never too late to read. ### What's inside? **Chapter 1 - This book is for you** - Money and freedom - The economy is broken - Your brain on money **Chapter 2 - A money crash course** - Money is simple; finance dudes want you to think it's hard - Save your money - Grow your money - Keep your money safe **Chapter 3 - Get your shit together** - Your money dashboard - Track your money - Get the details about your accounts - Categorise your spending - Bonus round: check your credit score - Stop! Analysis time - Managing the feels **Chapter 4 - Figure out which game you're playing** - Play one game at a time - Game 1: Emergency Lockdown Mode - Game 2: Build an Oh Shit Fund - Game 3: Get the Fuck Out of Debt - Game 4: Build a Table Flip Fund - Game 5: Special Savings Goals - Game 6: Work for your Freedom - Game 7: Don't be Old and Poor - Putting it all together **Chapter 5 - Wrangle your spending** - Pay yourself first - How to tackle your spending - Recurring bills - Dealing with exceptions - Day-to-day spending - Home, expensive home - Your car will make you poor - Everything you need to know about taxes - Money and your family **Chapter 6 - Making money** - What do you want to be when you grow up? - Funding studies - Side-hustles - There's no such thing as free money **Chapter 7 - Get the right accounts** - General principles for choosing accounts - Basic bank accounts - Cut up your credit cards - Savings accounts - Some principles for investing - Investing for your retirement - Investing for your freedom - Insurance - Stuff to ignore **Chapter 8 - Staying motivated** - Wanna try some financial maths? - Your new money habits - See a financial advisor - Enjoy your life ### ### Podcast URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/podcast/ Last updated: 2022-03-19T07:15:17.000Z Do you feel like you’re just faking knowing how to adult? Me too! No-one gave us a guide to any of this stuff. This is a show where we take all the big scary questions you’ve always felt too embarrassed to ask, and try to find solutions. **Like a Fucking Grownup* is a podcast about health, money, happiness, and how to live your best life, for people who have noooo idea what they’re doing. Subscribe now wherever you get your podcasts, or listen online at [Soundcloud](https://soundcloud.com/like%5Fa%5Ff-cking%5Fgrownup??ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ## Credits - Produced by [Chronicle](https://www.chronicle.digital/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - Executive producer: Diana Nielle - Producer: Sumeya Gasa - Project co-ordinator: Kathryn Kotze - Sound, mixing, theme music: Bernard Kotze - Writer, host: Sam Beckbessinger ### Contact URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/contact/ Last updated: 2026-05-21T14:19:47.000Z I love hearing from readers. Get in touch to ask questions, tell me how you think I can do things better, or find out how we can do more together. Go on, don't be shy. **READERS** General stuff: [hello@sambeckbessinger.com](mailto:hello@sambeckbessinger.com) If you email me a question, I reserve the right to publish it as part of a blog post - but I promise I will remove all names and identifying info. [You might find your answer on the FAQs page.](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/faqs/) **WORK PROJECTS** Literary agent - Oli Munson - A.M. Heath: [Oli.Munson@amheath.com](mailto:oli.munson@amheath.com) Film and TV agent - Sean Berard - Grandview: sean@grandviewla.com [**Book me to give a talk at your school or workplace.**](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/talks) I also offer creative writing mentorship. [Find out more here.](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/creative-writing-mentorship/) I do not publish posts from other contributors or do sponsored content on my blog or social media. I am, however, very open to considering blurbing for other authors. I will only blurb a book if I legitimately like it and have time to read it, and I will not blurb anything that does not meet the [Human Authored scheme guidelines](https://humanauthored.co.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ### Wanna get social? TikTok: [@sambeckbessinger](https://www.tiktok.com/@sambeckbessinger?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Instagram: [@sambeckbessinger](https://www.instagram.com/sambeckbessinger/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ### Privacy URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/privacy/ Last updated: 2021-05-25T07:24:23.000Z Your privacy is important to us. It is our policy to respect your privacy regarding any information we may collect from you across our website, www.sambeckbessinger.com, and other sites we own and operate. We only ask for personal information when we truly need it to provide a service to you. We collect it by fair and lawful means, with your knowledge and consent. We also let you know why we’re collecting it and how it will be used. We only retain collected information for as long as necessary to provide you with your requested service. What data we store, we’ll protect within commercially acceptable means to prevent loss and theft, as well as unauthorised access, disclosure, copying, use or modification. We don’t share any personally identifying information publicly or with third-parties, except when required to by law. Our website may link to external sites that are not operated by us. Please be aware that we have no control over the content and practices of these sites, and cannot accept responsibility or liability for their respective privacy policies. You are free to refuse our request for your personal information, with the understanding that we may be unable to provide you with some of your desired services. Your continued use of our website will be regarded as acceptance of our practices around privacy and personal information. If you have any questions about how we handle user data and personal information, feel free to contact us by emailing [hello@sambeckbessinger.com](mailto:hello@sambeckbessinger.com). This policy is effective as of 30 April 2020. ### Terms URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/terms/ Last updated: 2024-06-21T13:55:58.000Z By accessing the website at www.sambeckbessinger.com, you are agreeing to be bound by these terms of service, all applicable laws and regulations, and agree that you are responsible for compliance with any applicable local laws. If you do not agree with any of these terms, you are prohibited from using or accessing this site. The materials contained in this website are protected by applicable copyright and trademark law. ### Use Licence Permission is granted to temporarily download one copy of the materials (information or software) on this website for personal, non-commercial transitory viewing only. This is the grant of a licence, not a transfer of title, and under this licence you may not: - modify or copy the materials; - use the materials for any commercial purpose, or for any public display (commercial or non-commercial); - attempt to decompile or reverse engineer any software contained on this website; - use any of the materials to train any artificial intelligence, machine learning, large language models, or other similar networks, algorithms, or systems; - remove any copyright or other proprietary notations from the materials; or transfer the materials to another person or "mirror" the materials on any other server. This licence shall automatically terminate if you violate any of these restrictions and may be terminated by us at any time. Upon terminating your viewing of these materials or upon the termination of this licence, you must destroy any downloaded materials in your possession whether in electronic or printed format. ### Disclaimer The materials on this website are provided on an 'as is' basis. Sam Beckbessinger makes no warranties, expressed or implied, and hereby disclaims and negates all other warranties including, without limitation, implied warranties or conditions of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, or non-infringement of intellectual property or other violation of rights. Further, Sam Beckbessinger does not warrant or make any representations concerning the accuracy, likely results, or reliability of the use of the materials on its website or otherwise relating to such materials or on any sites linked to this site. ### Limitations In no event shall Sam Beckbessinger or her suppliers be liable for any damages (including, without limitation, damages for loss of data or profit, or due to business interruption) arising out of the use or inability to use the materials on this website, even if Sam Beckbessinger or her authorised representative has been notified orally or in writing of the possibility of such damage. Because some jurisdictions do not allow limitations on implied warranties, or limitations of liability for consequential or incidental damages, these limitations may not apply to you. ### Accuracy of materials The materials appearing on this website could include technical, typographical, or photographic errors. Sam Beckbessinger does not warrant that any of the materials on its website are accurate, complete or current. We may make changes to the materials contained on this website at any time without notice. However Sam Beckbessinger does not make any commitment to update the materials. ### Links Sam Beckbessinger has not reviewed all of the sites linked to this website and is not responsible for the contents of any such linked site. The inclusion of any link does not imply endorsement by Sam Beckbessinger of the site. Use of any such linked website is at the user's own risk. ### Modifications Sam Beckbessinger may revise these terms of service for her website at any time without notice. By using this website you are agreeing to be bound by the then current version of these terms of service. ### No AI Training You may not use any content on this website to train any artificial intelligence, machine learning, large language models, or other similar networks, algorithms, or systems. ### Governing Law These terms and conditions are governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of United Kingdom and you irrevocably submit to the exclusive jurisdiction of the courts in that State or location. ### About Sam Beckbessinger URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/about/ Last updated: 2026-08-25T08:50:29.000Z ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/10/Sam-Beckbessinger---beige---credit-Jenny-Lewis.jpg) Sam Beckbessinger, photographed by Jenny Lewis **Sam Beckbessinger** is the author of the bestselling [*Manage Your Money Like a Fucking Grownup*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/manage-your-money-like-a-f-cking-grownup/) and the novels [***Femme Feral***](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/femme-feral/)(one of the *Observer's* top debut novels of 2026) and [*Girls of Little Hope*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/girls-of-little-hope/) (co-authored with Dale Halvorsen). Her interactive story about climate change, [*Survive the Century*](https://survivethecentury.net/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), was featured in *New Scientist* and *Gizmodo*. She teaches creative writing at [Bath Spa University](https://www.bathspa.ac.uk/our-people/sam-beckbessinger/index.php?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), writes [kids' TV](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm11100882/?ref%5F=nv%5Fsr%5Fsrsg%5F0&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [picture books](https://bookdash.org/team-members/sam-beckbessinger/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), once wrote for [Marvel](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm11100882/?ref%5F=nv%5Fsr%5Fsrsg%5F0&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and is weirdly obsessed with spreadsheets. She grew up on a farm near Durban with a pet donkey named Mr Magoo, but now lives in London. [Latest projects](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/latest-projects/) **Want more?** - Need a [formal bio](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/formal-bio/) or headshots? - Answers to your [frequently asked questions.](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/faqs/) - [Book a talk at your school or workplace.](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/talks/) - [Get in touch.](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/contact/) ## Writing credits - **Novelist*,*** [***Femme Feral***](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/upcoming-femme-feral/)(summer 2026) - A feminist Jekyll-and-Hyde comedy-horror about middle-aged female rage. - **Writer,** [***Moving to the UK: A Concise Guide for South Africans*** ](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/moving-to-the-uk-a-concise-guide-for-south-africans/)(September 2023) - a practical guide to moving across the world without losing your mind. - **Novelist,** [***Girls of Little Hope***](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/girls-of-little-hope/)(June 2023) - a novel about two missing girls who come back, changed, written with Dale Halvorsen. - **Screenwriter**, four episodes of [***Jungle Beat***](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3282216/?ref%5F=fn%5Fal%5Ftt%5F1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (2021) - a family-friendly animated comedy series which has been broadcast in over 180 countries on channels including *Cartoon Network* and *Nickelodeon*. - **Writer and Creator**, [***Survive the Century***](https://survivethecentury.net/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (2021) - a branching narrative game about climate change. Now also available as an interactive book. - **Writer**, two episodes of [***Marvel's Jessica Jones: Playing with Fire*** ](https://www.realm.fm/shows/jessica-jones?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)(2020) - a serialised story on Realm featuring Marvel's reluctantly superpowered private eye, Jessica Jones. - **Screenwriter**, six episodes of [***Team Jay***](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10010964/?ref%5F=fn%5Fal%5Fnm%5F1a&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (2019) - an animated kids series where a magic zebra two children, a gerbil and a flying squirrel save their town from uppity villains. Broadcast on *Nickelodeon* Italy. By Sunrise Productions and Juventus F.C. - **Writer**, three picture books for young children: *How to Tame a Monster* (2021), *Lost Toy* (2020) and *Hippo Wants to Dance* (2016). - **Creator, writer and host**, [***Like a F-cking Grownup***](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/podcast/?)(2019). A podcast about health, money, happiness, and how to live your best life, for people who have absolutely no idea what they’re doing. - **Writer**, **Manage Your Money Like a F-cking Grownup** (2016). A lighthearted nonfiction book about being broke which is sold in six countries and remained on the top 10 South African bestseller list for two years. There are multiple editions, including a mouth-washed-out-with-soap adaptation for teenagers. - **Short story writer**, "Undercurrency" and "According to Plan" in anthology *Upshot* (2020). "This Book Will Find You" in anthology *The Outcast Hours* (2018) (with Dale Halvorsen and Lauren Beukes), currently in production with a major US network. "Blinding Birds" (2017) in *The Cardiff Review*. ## Essays & Academic Publications - ["A Brief History of the Female Werewolf,"](https://crimereads.com/sam-beckbessinger-a-brief-history-of-the-female-werewolf/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) *CrimeReads*, May 2026. - ["My Life Amongst the Techbros,"](https://pghrev.com/my-life-amongst-the-techbros/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) *Pittsburgh Review of Books*, 2026. - ["From fAIrplay to climate wars: making climate change scenarios more dynamic, creative, and integrative,"](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/356553668%5FFrom%5FfAIrplay%5Fto%5Fclimate%5Fwars%5Fmaking%5Fclimate%5Fchange%5Fscenarios%5Fmore%5Fdynamic%5Fcreative%5Fand%5Fintegrative?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) *Ecology and Society* 26(4):30, 2021 (co-author). - ["The Big Idea: Sam Beckbessinger,"](https://whatever.scalzi.com/2026/05/13/the-big-idea-sam-beckbessinger/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) *Whatever* (ed. John Scalzi), May 2026. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/04/46427456_2245350592198916_7303096522499948544_o.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/05/sam1.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/04/83568814_102749081234530_2243607212269906359_n.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/04/51398360_2242364122646518_706857415403896832_o.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/04/Dh-Dd33WkAAMzXp.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/04/1571595826001_5760419558001_5760415160001-vs.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/04/f4c0674e0c5642028869f86c8b7a9d4d.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/04/47263373_176451083312960_3264404528344974820_n.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/05/sam2.png) *Like the illustrations on this site? They're all created by my very talented friend Nanna Venter. You can buy prints of most of her work* [*over here*](https://www.nannaventer.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*.* *Like the photo of me above, and on the homepage? It was taken by my other very talented friend Tabitha Guy.* [*Follow her on Instagram.*](https://www.instagram.com/foxglovelovely/?hl=en&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ### Popular posts URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/popular-posts/ Last updated: 2025-10-15T15:14:35.000Z A collection of our most popular posts. [Like a Fucking Grownup | The Money DashboardA spreadsheet for tracking your budget, debts and investments, available in Excel and Google Sheets.![](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/favicon.png)Like a Fucking GrownupSam Beckbessinger![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/05/dashboard.png)](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/dashboard/) [Like a Fucking Grownup | Radtastic investment funds and savings accountsChoose a great savings account or investment fund. Here are a list of options including local and global funds.![](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/favicon.png)Like a Fucking GrownupSam Beckbessinger![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/05/plan.jpeg)](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/good-funds/) [Radtastic investment funds and savings accounts (UK)Are you a beginner investor in the UK looking for a good low-cost global ETF? I gothcoo, boo!![](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/favicon.png)Like a Fucking GrownupSam Beckbessinger![](https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1509909756405-be0199881695?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=80&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=2000&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjExNzczfQ)](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/radtastic-investment-funds-and-savings-accounts-uk/) [Like a Fucking Grownup | The all-in-one flowchart for managing your moneyAn all-in-one flowchart that takes you through, step-by-step, all the major milestones you’ll reach on the rocky road to financial freedom, especially for South Africa.![](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/favicon.png)Like a Fucking GrownupSam Beckbessinger![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/05/ManageYourMoneyLikeAFuckingGrownup-theflowchart.png)](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-all-in-one-flowchart-for-managing-your-money/) [Like a Fucking Grownup | Some great apps and tools to help you manage your moneyHere’s a list of useful apps and tools to help you manage your money in South Africa.![](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/favicon.png)Like a Fucking GrownupSam Beckbessinger![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/04/22seven.png)](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/some-great-apps-and-tools-to-help-you-manage-your-money/) [Like a Fucking Grownup | How to find a financial adviser who doesn’t suckA guide to choosing a good financial adviser for your money, in South Africa.![](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/favicon.png)Like a Fucking GrownupSam Beckbessinger![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/04/love.jpeg)](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-to-find-a-financial-adviser-who-doesnt-suck/) [What to do when a loved one is dying, or has diedSome practical tips for managing the death of someone you love.![](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/favicon.png)Like a Fucking GrownupSam Beckbessinger![](https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1467509955577-8e2922d668b9?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=80&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=2000&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjExNzczfQ)](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/what-to-do-when-a-loved-one-is-dying/) [Starting a small family business or side-hustle in 2020Your step-by-step guide to helping your family start a small business in 2020.![](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/favicon.png)Like a Fucking GrownupSam Beckbessinger![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/10/undraw_gradma_wanr.png)](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/starting-a-small-family-business/) ### FAQs URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/faqs/ Last updated: 2025-04-07T09:54:56.000Z ## How do you pronounce that bloody surname? BECK-bess-in-jur. Rhymes with "messenger", but with Beck in the front. I only learned to spell my own surname in grade three, so please don't stress if you get it wrong. ## How old are you? I was born in June 1987\. You do the maths. ## Where are you from? I was born on a farm near Durban in South Africa, and my first pet was a donkey named Mr Magoo. I lived in Durbs until I was twelve, then moved to Pretoria (AKA Pre-historia) for my teenage years. I've had a fairly nomadic life since then: at various times, home has been Cape Town, San Francisco, Cambridge, Johannesburg, and a very dodgy nightclub called Zeplins. Right now, I live in London (the best city in the world). ## What is your net worth? Wow, like, at least take me out for dinner first. ## How can I get in touch with you? [Find the right contact here](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/contact/). I get a lot of emails, so please be patient with me if I take a while to get back to you. I do get around to responding to most of them eventually, and I sincerely would love to hear from you. ## I've written a book. Can you help me get it published? Firstly, HUGE CONGRATULATIONS for writing a book, it's a huge achievement in itself. [I've got some general advice about finding an agent/publisher here](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-do-i-get-a-book-published-in-south-africa/), and if you'd like some support in improving the manuscript, I do offer (very limited and selective) [creative writing mentorships](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/creative-writing-mentorship/). What I can't do is personally put you in touch with an editor, publisher or agent, sorry! ## Where can I find the money dashboard? [Over here.](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/etc/the-worksheet.html) ## Will you do a talk about money at my office/school/club? Sure! I love doing that. [You'll find more information about money talks here.](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/talks/) ## Help! I need financial advice. I'm not a financial advisor, so I can't give you personalised advice, I'm afraid. I'd suggest you head on over to the [Fat Wallet Facebook Community](https://www.facebook.com/groups/349308242475390) and ask them to recommend a good fee-based advisor in your area. [Here's some general advice](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/etc/get-some-advice.html) about how to choose one. ## Why did you move to the U.K.? Two big reasons: 1. I have a genetic predisposition to going blind. I decided that if I do go blind, life will be much easier if I live in a country with a good public transport system. 2. The world is big and I wanted to see more of it! South Africa is a magical place and I miss it every day. ## What's your opinion on crypto? [I wrote a long answer to this question here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/PersonalFinanceZA/comments/m17srn/im%5Fsam%5Fbeckbessinger%5Fauthor%5Fof%5Fmanage%5Fyour%5Fmoney/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## Why all the swearing? Why the fuck not? ## What platform is this website built on? The whole site is built on a brilliant blogging and newsletter platform called [Ghost](https://ghost.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). I love Ghost because they're a non-profit organisation, the platform is fully open-source, it strikes exactly the right balance between full-featured and intuitive, and the team members are some of the nicest people around. Other writing tools I use frequently include [Canva](https://www.canva.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Buffer](https://buffer.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Zapier](https://zapier.com/app/home?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Obsidian](https://obsidian.md//?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Ulysses](https://ulysses.app/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Grammarly](https://app.grammarly.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and [Google Docs](https://drive.google.com/drive/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). [Here's more about my writing tools.](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/my-favourite-resources-about-the-craft-of-fiction-writing/) ## Can I ask you on a date? Thanks but no. I'm a depraved pansexual but am also in a very happy long-term monogamous relationship, thank you very much. ## What's your cat's name? Sir Digby Chicken Caesar III. ## Is "Sam" short for "Samantha"? Only if you ask my grandmother, which would require a ouija board. ### Formal bio URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/formal-bio/ Last updated: 2026-08-03T13:49:19.000Z ## Long bio [**Sam Beckbessinger**](https://sambeckbessinger.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) **is the bestselling author of** [***Manage Your Money Like a Fucking Grownup***](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/manage-your-money-like-a-f-cking-grownup/)**, sold in six countries. Her debut adult novel** [***Femme Feral***](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/upcoming-femme-feral/) **is a perimenopausal werewolf story that was named one of the *Observer's* best debut novels of 2026.** Sam co-authored the teen body-horror novel [*Girls of Little Hope*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/girls-of-little-hope/) and wrote for Marvel’s [*Jessica Jones: Playing With Fire*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/on-superheroes-and-the-joys-of-writing-with-others/). Her interactive story about climate change, [*Survive the Century*](https://survivethecentury.net/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), was featured in *New Scientist* and *Gizmodo*. She's also written for animated kids’ TV show, [*Team Jay*](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10010964/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), commissioned by the Juventus Soccer Club and produced and animated by Sunrise Productions, and the family-friendly comedy series [*Jungle Beat*](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3282216/?ref%5F=fn%5Fal%5Ftt%5F1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which has been broadcast in over 180 countries on channels including Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon. She currently has two unannounced adult TV shows in production. When Sam isn’t writing, she’s teaching creative writing at Bath Spa University, obsessing over spreadsheets, and perfecting her bog witch aesthetic. She grew up on a farm near Durban with a pet donkey named Mr Magoo, but now lives in London. ## Medium bio **Sam Beckbessinger** is the author of the bestselling [*Manage Your Money Like a Fucking Grownup*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/manage-your-money-like-a-f-cking-grownup/) and the novels [***Femme Feral***](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/femme-feral/) (one of the *Observer's* top debut novels of 2026) and [*Girls of Little Hope*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/girls-of-little-hope/) (co-authored with Dale Halvorsen). Her interactive story about climate change, [*Survive the Century*](https://survivethecentury.net/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), was featured in *New Scientist* and *Gizmodo*. She teaches creative writing at [Bath Spa University](https://www.bathspa.ac.uk/our-people/sam-beckbessinger/index.php?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), writes [kids' TV](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm11100882/?ref%5F=nv%5Fsr%5Fsrsg%5F0&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [picture books](https://bookdash.org/team-members/sam-beckbessinger/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), once wrote for [Marvel](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm11100882/?ref%5F=nv%5Fsr%5Fsrsg%5F0&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and is weirdly obsessed with spreadsheets. She grew up on a farm near Durban with a pet donkey named Mr Magoo, but now lives in London. ## Short bio **Sam Beckbessinger** is the bestselling author of [***Manage Your Money Like a Fucking Grownup***](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/manage-your-money-like-a-f-cking-grownup/), sold in six countries and loved by people who hate talking about money. She teaches creative writing and pens [horror stories and kids’ TV shows](https://sambeckbessinger.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Her perimenopausal werewolf novel [***Femme Feral***](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/upcoming-femme-feral/) was named one of the *Observer's* top debut novels of 2026. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/10/Sam-Beckbessinger---browns---credit-Jenny-Lewis.jpg) Photo by Jenny Lewis ## Headshots Need a photo? Feel free to [download a high-res headshot here](https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1JgBd-QYn5loiHjMv2eaVdOwNdLL2AG2Z?usp=sharing&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). All photos are credited in the file name. ### Projects URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/latest-projects/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T12:24:36.000Z A summary of [recently released](#recently-released) and [in progress](#in-progress) projects from the Sam Beckbessinger Cinematic Universe. ## In progress ### Manage Your Money update - coming September 2026 A full rewrite and update of *Manage Your Money Like a F-cking Grownup*. **Status**: Done and dusted, and being printed as we speak! Expect this on your shelves in September 2026. ### MAMA (working title) My third novel, a story about a happily childfree woman who suddenly becomes responsible for a very odd child. **Status**: I'm working on the second draft, aiming to get it done by October 2026\. [Follow my progress here](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/cuckoobird-live-writing-journal/) in my live writing journal! ### Marmalade is Missing (Again) An animated film about a burlesque troop from 1930s Soho hunting for their missing cat. **Status**: The second draft of the script's done! Now follows the long road to development. *There are some other super-top-secret film and tv projects in the works, which I can't talk about SORRYYYYYYY.* --- ## Recently released ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/07/Both-Covers.png) ### Femme Feral My debut adult novel, a story about a woman reaching midlife and discovering that "the change" is weirder than expected. [Find out more](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/femme-feral/) ![Moving to the UK: A Concise Guide for South Africans](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/size/w960/2023/06/JBP-Moving-to-the-UK-2.jpg) ### Moving to the UK: A Guide for Confused South Africans A [handbook](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/moving-to-the-uk-a-concise-guide-for-south-africans/) for South Africans moving to the UK, supported by an online community called the [Newcomers Club](https://community.newcomers-club.com/home?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). [Find out more](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/moving-to-the-uk-a-concise-guide-for-south-africans/) ![Girls of Little Hope - Sam Beckbessinger and Dale Halvorsen](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/09/CRT_GOLH.jpg) ### Girls of Little Hope *Girls of Little Hope* is my debut novel. It's a story about two teenage girls searching for their missing best friend, and instead stumbling on a much stranger secret that will change their lives forever, written with [Dale Halvorsen](https://www.dalehalvorsen.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). [Buy now](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/girls-of-little-hope/) ![Survive the Century, a climate change book by Sam Beckbessinger](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/07/image-7.png) ### Survive the Century - the book! *Survive the Century* is an interactive story that positions you as the senior editor of the world’s most popular and trusted news organization. You have the enviable power to set the news agenda, and thereby shift the zeitgeist. What if you invest in green technology and cut taxes? What if you rewild half of the world’s agricultural land? What if you unleash your inner supervillain and spark WWIII? What if you block out the sun (just a little bit)? Along the way, you get to read the headlines of the newspapers of the day that result from your choices, and read news stories from the future written by leading sci-fi writers like Lauren Beukes, Rajat Chaudhuri, Maria Turtschaninoff and Sophia Al-Maria. The book also features playful full-colour illustrations by Annika Brandow. [Buy now](https://survivethecentury.net/book.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ![Jungle Beat season 8](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/09/jb8-1.jpeg) ### Jungle Beat *Jungle Beat* is a family-friendly comedy series by [Sunrise Productions](https://www.sunriseproductions.tv/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It's been broadcast in over 180 countries on channels including Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon. The current season is showing on Boomerang across Africa. I was on the writing team for season 8. [Find out where to watch it](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/jungle-beat/) --- ![How to Tame a Monster by Sam Beckbessinger Wilna Combrinck and Anja Venter](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/05/how-to-tame-a-monster_en_20210524_cover-2-1.jpeg) ### How to Tame a Monster When Lwando’s little sister gets mad, she turns into a monster. Can Lwando help her tame her big feelings? *How to Tame a Monster* is an open-licensed children's book published by Book Dash, and freely available to read and remix. It was illustrated by Anja Venter, and designed by Wilna Combrinch. [Read for free](https://bookdash.org/books/how-to-tame-a-monster/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) --- ### Survive the Century web game A branching narrative game about climate change that I [co-created with scientists](https://www.ecologyandsociety.org/vol26/iss4/art30/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#acknowledgments) Christopher Trisos and Simon Nicholson. In this game, you get to play the editor of a popular newspaper. Your decisions on how to talk about climate change dictate how the world adapts (or doesn't) to a warming planet from 2021 to 2100\. Along the way, you get to read headlines and news stories about the future you've created, contributed by some of my all-time favourite science fiction writers: Lauren Beukes, Rajat Chaudhuri, Maria Turtschaninoff and Sophia Al-Maria. It's up to you whether you lead the world to a green utopia, or unleash your inner villain to see how bad things can get. Nobody's judging. --- ### Manage Your Money Like a Grownup: Teen Edition You’re never too young to start saving. Manage Your Money Like a Grownup, by bestselling author Sam Beckbessinger, aims to get younger readers thinking about the basics of money, laying a solid foundation in financial education that most grownups today never had. With illustrations, jokes and fun facts designed to appeal to even the most easily bored reader, this book covers all the basics South African teenagers need to know about money, such as: - The relationship between earning, saving and spending; - How investing works; - Why compound interest is a superpower; - Why we pay taxes; and - The ethics of money. Informed by discussions with real teens and their parents, this book equips readers with practical tips for earning and investing money at any age, as well as providing questions to spark lively dinner-table conversations. [Learn more](https://manageyourmoneylikeagrownup.com/??ref=sambeckbessinger.com) --- ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/05/image-3.png) ### RisCura: Upshot *Upshot* is an anthology of short stories exploring how today's investment decisions can impact the future. Two of my stories were included in the collection: "Undercurrency", a love story about kelp farming and climate change; and "According to Plan", about whether an AI could come up with better life-goals for you than you can. *Upshot* was curated by Lauren Beukes, edited by Helen Moffett, and includes stories by Bongani Kona, Angela Makholwa, Charlie Human, Tade Thompson and Mohale Mashigo. [Read the collection](https://upshot.riscura.com/??ref=sambeckbessinger.com) --- ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/05/image-4.png) ### Lost Toy A child has lost their favourite toy. They are so sad. Will some kind strangers help? *Lost Toy* is a wordless picture book aimed at children aged two to five, freely published under a Creative Commons license for Book Dash. Illustrations by Amy Slatem and design by Natalie Pierre-Eugene. [Read for free](https://bookdash.org/books/lost-toy/??ref=sambeckbessinger.com) --- ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/05/image-6.png) ### Marvel's Jessica Jones: Playing with Fire A serialised fiction project I worked on with Lauren Beukes, Vita Ayala, Zoe Quinn, and Elsa Sjunneson. Available on Serialbox.m May 2020. Jessica Jones has made an art of ignoring her particular brand of super-powered trauma. But these days, she’s giving the whole “self-care” thing a try. Seeing a therapist, finding healthier coping mechanisms (read: no business-hours drinking), working toward not wanting to punch things all the time. Maybe even taking the occasional case that won’t eat her alive. A simple missing persons case seems like just the ticket. But when a boy’s body turns up under an overpass in what looks like a cut-and-dried OD, Jessica can’t let it go and dives headlong into an obsessive search for answers. Written by Lauren Beukes, Vita Ayala, Sam Beckbessinger, Zoe Quinn, and Elsa Sjunneson. Narrated by Fryda Wolff. [Read it now](https://www.realm.fm/shows/jessica-jones?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) --- ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/05/image-7.png) ### Manage Your Money Like a Fucking Grownup In her bestselling book, money dork Sam Beckbessinger tells it to you straight: how to take control of your money to take control of your life. You’ll learn: - How to trick your dumb brain into saving more, without giving up fun - How to make a bona fide grownup budget - Why you need to forget what you’ve learnt about credit - How to negotiate a raise - Why buying a house (probably) won’t make you rich - The one super-simple investment you need - How to deal with ‘black tax’ With exercises, flowcharts and informative illustrations (also: kittens), this book is empowering and helpful – and f\*cking funny, too. You’re going to earn millions of rands over your lifetime. Are you going to waste it on stupid crap that doesn’t make you happy, or let it buy your freedom and your most audacious dreams? [Buy the book](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/manage-your-money-like-a-f-cking-grownup/) --- ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/05/image-14.png) ### Inves Capital **Open money for an open world** Like software, content, and minds, money works better when it's open. The Inves Capital group was incorporated in 2016 to explore free and decentralised networks and software in the context of finance. The group now includes Lettuce, Venox, Appia, Rand Reserve, and partnerships with key players in the new financial ecosystem. Our team has experience building core banking systems, smart credit card solutions, cryptocurrency exchanges, and in heading up innovation for traditional financial services providers. [Learn more](http://inves.capital/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) --- ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/05/image-8.png) ### Like a Fucking Grownup: the podcast Do you feel like you’re just faking knowing how to adult? Me too! No-one gave us a guide to any of this stuff. This is a show where we take all the big scary questions you’ve always felt too embarrassed to ask, and try to find solutions. [Take a listen](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/podcast/?) --- ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/05/image-9.png) ### The Outcast Hours I co-wrote a little horror story with two of my besties, Lauren Beukes and Dale Halvorsen, called "This Book Will Find You". It's about a young woman who tries to use a spell to bring her lover back from the dead. It's featured in the excellent anthology, The Outcast Hours, edited by Mahvesh Murad and Jared Shurin. It also features stories by Marina Warner, China Miéville, Frances Hardinge, Will Hill, Sally Partridge, S.L. Grey and more. [Buy the collection](https://www.amazon.com/Outcast-Hours-Mahvesh-Murad/dp/1781085749/ref=sr%5F1%5F1??ref=sambeckbessinger.com) --- ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/05/image-10.png) ### Team Jay A CG-animated series from Nickelodeon Italy about a magical football-obsessed zebra and his friends, created by Sunrise Productions. Being on the writing team for this show, trying to figure out how to make six-year-olds laugh, is probably the most fun job I've ever had. [Watch it now](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCx8IRIvl-vIUFoiECTh0mZg??ref=sambeckbessinger.com) --- ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/05/image-11.png) ### Take Back the Day One of my dearest humans Simon Dingle and I sometimes have conversations on the internet about how to be more productive and live the best versions of our lives. Sometimes we release these chats as a podcast! We've been doing this off and on since 2017. [Take a listen](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCx8IRIvl-vIUFoiECTh0mZg??ref=sambeckbessinger.com) --- ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/05/image-13.png) ### Desert Startup Bootcamp Back in the long ago times of 2015, I was part of setting up an entrepreneurship bootcamp project focussed on South Africans setting up small businesses outside of the usual big cities. Here I am with my friend and co-conspirator Mhlanganisi Madlongolwana, and two of our facilitators Lynette Ntuli and Murendi Mafumo. Mhlanganisi continues to run DSBCs, so look out for a bootcamp near you! [Learn more](http://www.thedesertstartupbootcamp.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ### Thank you 🥰 URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/thank-you-premium/ Last updated: 2024-10-10T12:39:58.000Z People like you make it possible for me to do the work that I do. I am so, so grateful. **As a special thank-you gift, you now have access to "Money 101", a one-hour online course about the basics of managing your money. Enjoy!** [Start learning](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/money-101/) And if that's not your jam, [here's a list of other freebies](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/freebies-2/) available on the site. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/05/17-cute-cat--fig-3.14--1.jpg) ### Thank you 😍 URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/thank-you-free/ Last updated: 2024-10-10T12:40:06.000Z I'm so stoked that you decided to join us here. You'll get a weekly(ish) email from me, and you can now browse all of the site's content. Why not start with a list of our most popular posts and freebies? [Start reading](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/freebies-2/) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/05/17-cute-cat--fig-3.14--1.jpg) ### Money Talks URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/talks/ Last updated: 2026-05-26T11:41:31.000Z **I’ve spent most of the last decade talking to normal people about their financial lives.** I’ve heard it all—from the ambitious 20-somethings juggling side hustles and university degrees, to the mothers worried they’ve fallen for a pyramid scheme, to desperate people who are changing their phone number every three months to dodge the calls of debt collectors. I’ve listened to the stories of shame and fear, but also stories of hope and resilience in a difficult economy. Here’s the truth: **we don’t talk about money enough**, even though it impacts everything—from the decisions you make, to how well you sleep at night. And in a world that’s more complex than ever, many people feel like money's a terrifying topic. But here’s the good news: it doesn’t have to be. **Talks That Make Money Simple (and Maybe Even Fun)** Whether you’re an employee trying to stretch your paycheque further in a cost of living crisis, an entrepreneur balancing business and personal finances, or a young person trying to understand the basics, I’m here to help. I'm not here to throw jargon at you or bore you with charts. Instead, I'll share real, relatable stories and no-nonsense advice, all tailored to your workplace, school, club, or conference. My aim is to give you simple, practical tips you can start using today, and (dare I say it) even try to make you laugh. [Book a talk](mailto:hello@sambeckbessinger.com) Here’s a snapshot of the talks I offer: ### Five Money Myths *Popular at workplaces* A fast, high-energy talk that takes down the most common myths we’ve been fed about money. Learn why buying a house (probably) won’t make you rich, why budgeting can be easier than you think, and the one super-simple investment everyone should be making. Perfect for anyone who’s tired of the same old financial advice and wants to approach money with fresh eyes. - Duration: 60 minutes, or 90 minutes with Q&A - Content can be (slightly) tailored for the audience demographic ### The Fundamentals of Money *Popular at schools* A fun, profanity-free talk about the basic principles of money aimed at teens aged 13 - 18\. Designed to be short and funny enough to appeal to even the most easily distracted teen. - Duration: 30-minutes (for assemblies/large groups), or 60-minutes (with Q&A, for up to 80 students) - Content can be tailored for the age group ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/10/WhatsApp-Image-2024-05-21-at-07.18.44.jpeg) ### Money for Entrepreneurs, Freelancers, Artists, and Other Misfits *Popular with entrepreneurship clubs and freelancer/artist organisations* A talk especially tailored to the unique financial lives of artists, entrepreneurs, freelancers and small business owners. Whether you’re navigating the ups and downs (and downs and downs) of irregular cash flow, unsure whether traditional retirement savings products have any relevance for you, or just trying to balance your personal and business finances, this talk will give you simple, practical tips you can start using today. - Live 60 or 90-minute session, with a long Q&A driven by audience questions - Tailored to the type of audience ### Banishing Debt *Popular with small groups of friends* Feeling buried in debt? This interactive workshop helps you take control. I break down the psychology of debt, how to handle it without losing your mind, and proven strategies to dig yourself out. You’ll leave with an actionable plan to get started today. - Duration: 90 minutes - Tailored to groups of any size, but works best with less than 8 people ## What you can expect from my talks - **Relatable Stories & Real Talk**: I don’t throw jargon at you—I give it to you straight, with stories that hit home. - **Objective & Trustworthy**: I'm not here to sell you things. Unlike brokers and finance industry-insiders, I don't get commissions from signing you up for financial products. - **Practical Takeaways**: You’ll leave with actionable tips, not just theory. My aim is to get you to take one or two big steps that make a real difference. - **Customised for Your Audience**: Whether your team is mostly 20somethings just starting out or high-flying business owners, I adapt the content to your specific needs. - **A Little Humour**: Let’s face it, money can be stressful. But it doesn’t have to be boring. ## Rates Rates for the talks above are standard and non-negotiable, and I reserve the right to change them at any time. - 30/45-minute session: R22,000 / £1,000 - 60-minute session: R28,000 / £1,250 - 90-minute session: R33,000 / £1,500 I'm very happy to quote you on **crafting a unique talk**, if you need something different to one of my standard talks. Most of my talks are **online**. If you want me to visit you in person, there will be an additional fee covering travel costs and the extra time. I am normally based in **London** but I'm in **South Africa** a few times a year. I do offer discounts to non-profits and public schools on a discretionary basis. [Get in touch with me](mailto:hello@sambeckbessinger.com) to discuss. ## Book a talk Ready to get serious about money? Great! **Step 1**: Contact me using the button below, and let me know what kind of talk you’re interested in. **Step 2**: We’ll have a quick chat to discuss the details (your audience, needs, etc.) and confirm the booking. **Step 3**: Sit back and relax—I’ll handle the rest. [Book a talk](mailto:hello@sambeckbessinger.com) ## See me talking "How to buy a private island" - a serious-ish talk about my own financial journey from TEDx Cape Town. "Wants vs. Needs" - a shorter, funnier talk about whether buying everything you want will make you happy. PSG Think Big Series - a Q&A with financial journalist Alishia Seckam about the future of managing personal finances in a Gen Z world. ## About Sam Sam Beckbessinger is an author, speaker, fintech entrepreneur and personal finance dork who is passionate about helping regular people feel more comfortable talking about their money. Her bestselling book, [*Manage Your Money Like a F-cking Grownup*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/manage-your-money-like-a-f-cking-grownup/), has been helping people take control of their finances in six countries. She’s also a novelist, cartoon screenwriter, and has published three picture books for young children. She gets way too excited about spreadsheets. With years of experience advising fintech startups, banks, and asset managers on how to engage with real people around their finances, Sam is known for her relatable style, no-nonsense advice, and unapologetic sense of humour. ## **FAQs** **Do you offer customised talks?** Absolutely! I can lightly tailor any of my standard talks to meet your team's needs. If you need something different, I can put a quote together for you. Get in touch to chat. **Can we record the session?** I’m usually happy to accommodate as long as the recording will only be used internally, but do discuss this with me beforehand. If you want to use the recording externally or in marketing materials, I'll need to put together a unique quote for you. [Book a talk](mailto:hello@sambeckbessinger.com) ### Freebies URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/freebies-2/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T13:42:11.000Z Subscribing is **completely free**, and gets you access to dozens of guides, resources and downloads (and photos of my cat Digby). _This page is for subscribers only._ ### Manage Your Money Resources URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/manage-your-money-resources/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T13:28:30.000Z ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/07/IMG_8450.jpeg) This is Sir Digby Chicken Caesar III! Is he not the cutest lil snufflebean you've ever seen in your life?? ### Community Guidelines URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/community-guidelines/ Last updated: 2022-08-26T09:11:51.000Z One of the best things about writing on the internet is being able to engage with the community that forms around it. That's you! The comments section on this site is a space for you to chat with other members,share knowledge and experiences, and share what content you enjoyed the most. To help keep the community safe, constructive and fun, here are a few best practices to keep in mind. Thanks for your help & support! ❤️ ### **Respect each other.** This should be a safe and inviting community for everyone, so it's expected that all members be civil and respectful in their interactions. Like any online community, we're a group of people with a range of experiences and beliefs, many of which may differ from your own. Consider this a gift — interesting and challenging perspectives can open doors you didn't even know existed. Basically, don't be kak. ### **Share your real name and expertise.** When you publish your first comment on this site, you'll be prompted to complete a member profile, with your name and expertise. You can also update this any time. Using your real name and sharing your expertise or lived experience helps give context to valuable discussions. Sharing these extra details alongside your comments shows the perspective from which you are joining the conversation. ![](https://ghost.org/resources/content/images/2022/08/add-expertise.png) ### **Stay on topic, and share your sources.** A new post might prompt a dozen different types of responses, from a reader sharing a personal story to a newcomer asking for clarification. In every instance, do your best to stay on topic, support your replies with additional context or sources where appropriate, and focus on discussing the ideas presented. - Link to trustworthy articles, reports, and sources to support your arguments. - Only share links to your own content when it directly adds to the conversation. Please don't spam. Nobody likes spam. Nobody. If you've contributed to the conversation and someone else replies to your thread, you'll be notified by email. You can choose to switch these emails off in your member account settings, under email preferences. ![](https://ghost.org/resources/content/images/2022/08/email-preferences.png) ### **Keep it constructive and kind.** Constructive contributions are the best kind. If you have knowledge that places the topic of the post in a new light, or if you have feedback about the subject matter — it's best shared in a way that helps everyone feel like this is a space where new ideas are respected and valued. With every comment you make, you add to the dialogue. Many people may read your words and use them to shape their ideas and feelings about a topic, event, or person. Employ that influence wisely. Move the collective conversation forward, and invite others to follow your lead. ### **Flag inappropriate interactions.** As a member, you can help maintain a safe and inviting space by reporting any behaviour that goes against these guidelines. If you see someone being rude, negative, hateful, divisive, or combative in the comments section, flag it. All you need to do is click the three dots next to the inappropriate comment, and then click **Report comment**. These reports are taken seriously, and there's a zero tolerance policy for abusive behaviour. If you're being kak, you'll be booted out of here. This isn't a democracy. ![](https://ghost.org/resources/content/images/2022/08/report-comment.png) ### **Be the you online that you are in-person.** Most people are kind and well-intentioned humans. Although it may seem like the opposite is true on the internet at times, the reality is that people tend to follow the majority. You can help keep the tone of this space friendly and fun if you lead the way with insightful, humane language. Let's keep this a space that you want to spend time in. That’s it! If you’ve scrolled this far, thank you for being a valued member, and see you in the comments! ### Help launch Girls of Little Hope URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/help-launch-girls-of-little-hope/ Last updated: 2024-10-10T14:50:43.000Z Thank you for offering to help with my book launch! Marketing a book is really hard. Maybe even as hard as writing the bloody thing in the first place. I'm so grateful to anyone who can help. The goal: get **as many social media mentions and sales in the week of the launch (12 - 18 June 2023)** as we can. Sales around the launch date are especially helpful because that's how the book makes it on to bestseller lists (which, in turn, really helps future sales). Thank you for doing this! You are my personal hero. ![](https://media.tenor.com/l2cvcKFc-RkAAAAC/shrug-idk.gif) it you! ## What is this book? *Girls of Little Hope* is a chilling tale of monsters, teen angst and small-town America for fans of *Stranger Things*, *The Thing*, and the 1990s. It's a horror-mystery novel about teenagers, but I think adults will like it too. It's tense and does get a little gory, so it's not for everybody! It was written by me (Sam Beckbessinger) and Dale Halvorsen. Here's the [long blurb](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/girls-of-little-hope/). ## How to help If you can do *any one* of these tasks, that would be so helpful! - **[Buy the book](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/girls-of-little-hope/#buy-the-book)**. Any bookshop is good! We encourage you to support your local indie. - **Review the book** on [Amazon](https://boox.link/go/1803362073?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Goodreads](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/62825562-girls-of-little-hope?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or [Storygraph](https://app.thestorygraph.com/books/c5547603-519e-4241-9917-bad0eeeba359?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (you can be honest, we won't take it personally!) - **Message any buddies** who you think might enjoy the book to let them know about it. If they're into horror novels, 90s riot grrrl punk, uncanny mysteries... they'll be into this! - **Post** on your social media platform of choice. - If you have a podcast, TikTok platform, blog, or anything like that, would you consider inviting Dale or I on as guests? We're cute! ### Sample text for Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp: The best link to include is one of these: - - Feel free to reuse, borrow, snip and edit these. 1. 🚨NEW BOOK ALERT🚨 Girls of Little Hope is the small-town horror you need in your life! Monsters, mystery and 90s nostalgia. Yes please. #horror #2023books #GirlsofLittleHope 2. Well, RIP today's plans. @joeyhifi and @beckbessinger have a new book out, and it's a riot grrrl horror set in 1996\. 3. If you loved Stranger Things, The Thing, and a spooky mystery, then Girls of Little Hope is the book for you. #amreading #bookstagram #TBR 4. Friendship, monsters, and a secret so shattering it will leave you reeling - Girls of Little Hope is a book that will stay with you long after you've finished it. #Horror #MustRead 5. When @laurenbeukes calls a book "sharp as a DIY-piercing, with a fierce punk heart" I'm in! Girls of Little Hope is out today... #Horror #NewBook **Useful hashtags:** #GirlsofLittleHope #amreading #TBR #2023Books #booktok #bookstagram #reading #books #horror **Tag us:** @beckbessinger and @joeyhifi ### Images you can share ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/05/CRT_GOLH.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/05/CRIG_GOLH.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/05/Girls-of-Little-Hope---cover.jpg) ## Thank you! Gosh, again, I really can't thank you enough. Writing novels is literally the thing I've wanted to do since I was five. This book doing well is the best chance I have of being able to keep doing it! GIANT SLOPPY GRATEFUL KISSES TO YOU. xx Sam ### Press URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/press/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T08:05:53.000Z ## General [The best debut novelists of 2026 | The ObserverFeaturing a GP, a teacher, a former zoologist and a pair of poets, The Observer’s list of rising stars reveals the eight names to watch this year![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/favicon.png)The ObserverAnthony Cummins![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/87660.jpeg)](https://observer.co.uk/culture/books/article/the-best-debut-novelists-2026?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Invertebrate minds: from spiders to octopusesOur panel discusses how to include invertebrate animals from spiders to sea creatures in debates on animal welfare to ensure their interests are protected and promoted.![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/touch-icon.png)London School of Economics and Political ScienceLondon School of Economics and Political Science![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/23-0683-1200x600-insects1.xbd452b43.jpg)](https://www.lse.ac.uk/lse-player?id=33337baa-32e0-4486-a89c-ca88b0cae2a3&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Sam Beckbessinger: Creative Curiosity and Exploiting Unique Craziness | NIC HARALAMBOUSIn this episode, I chat with one of my closest friends and best-selling author Sam Beckbessinger about working through a lack of inspiration, harnessing unique personality flavours and why consistency is so crucial for output in a creative space. On a quest to find out “how to adult”, Sam writes by![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a0bcb2aace864b721cc327d/1585043179373-5T3FV931F10APOC9CLIQ/favicon.ico?format=100w)NIC HARALAMBOUSNic Haralambous![](http://static1.squarespace.com/static/5a0bcb2aace864b721cc327d/5dd407f691822863f23c49cf/5fc8eb83fc44f34df66b1b0e/1619946139284/Sam%2BBeckbessinger.jpg?format=1500w)](https://nicharalambous.com/blog/sam-beckbessinger?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [S6: E1 - Sam Beckbessinger - Female friendship, fiction writing, and the freedom of living somewhere new by Living While FeministToday on the podcast I’m talking with Sam Beckbessinger. I had the pleasure of talking to Sam in December 2020 for Season 1 about How to Manage your Money like a Fucking Grown-up, and we talked all things money from a feminist perspective. So, if you haven’t yet listened to that episode, go back, and download it now. Since I last spoke to Sam her writing career has gone from strength to strength and has taken many forms. Her interactive story about climate change, Survive the Century, was featured in New Scientist and Gizmodo. She also writes a very interesting newsletter which is always full of stimulating ideas. Sam is also an associate lecturer in the MA in Writing for Young People at Bath Spa University in the UK where she’s sharing her hard-earned knowledge and talent with other writers. If that doesn’t sound impressive enough, just this year she has released not one but two books which we’ll be talking about today – Girls of Little Hope, a novel written with Dale Halvorsen, about two missing girls who come back, changed. And Moving to the UK: A Concise Guide for South Africans, which is a practical guide for moving across the world without losing your mind. Taking a look at Sam’s Projects page on her website also makes me feel inspired. She’s working on another novel and two super-top-secret TV shows. So today I’ll be talking with Sam about all things writing and what she’s got up her sleeve next.![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/favicon-s4p-310x310.png)Spotify for CreatorsVela Magazine![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/7282055-1598282558595-198c4ed16d436.jpg)](https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/livingwhilefeminist/episodes/S6-E1%E2%80%94Sam-Beckbessinger%E2%80%94Female-friendship--fiction-writing--and-the-freedom-of-living-somewhere-new-e2aii94?%24web%5Fonly=true&%5Fbranch%5Fmatch%5Fid=1134422044358581504&%5Fbranch%5Freferrer=H4sIAAAAAAAAA8soKSkottLXLy7IL8lMq0zMS87IL9ItT03SSywo0MvJzMvWT9XP9yutcnIPDzd3SQIA%2Bwxx9DAAAAA%3D&utm%5Fcampaign=web-share&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## Femme Feral [Sam Beckbessinger’s werewolf satire sinks its teeth into perimenopauseFemale anger and repression are examined via lycanthropy in this darkly comic horror debut.![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/favicon-6.ico)The BooksellerKatie Fraser![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/158.jpg)](https://www.thebookseller.com/author-interviews/sam-beckbessingers-werewolf-satire-sinks-its-teeth-into-perimenopause?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Femme Feral is a sly werewolf horror about the menopauseSam Beckbessinger’s debut novel channels feminine rage to produce a cathartic satire with real bite![](https://static.ghost.org/v5.0.0/images/link-icon.svg)The ObserverHephzibah Anderson![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/109216.jpeg)](https://observer.co.uk/culture/books/article/femme-feral-is-a-sly-werewolf-horror-about-the-menopause?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [The Big Idea: Sam BeckbessingerWe’ve all got a beast inside us, waiting to be unleashed. For some, they never hold it back. For others, they keep it caged until it can be repressed no longer. Enter author Sam Beckbessinger…![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/cropped-whateverfavicon-2e3f510773589639bb4f0ab14cb4a6dc646b43978662af7a383190c11778cc1e.jpg)WhateverAthena Scalzi![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/55267450167_e8c6e08c7f_c-3a0e6029b4e8448b484b55af0f621fb4fa31000c18304834e14df3013bd08da3.jpg)](https://whatever.scalzi.com/2026/05/13/the-big-idea-sam-beckbessinger/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Crime, cats and feminine rage: The new books to read this weekFrom a Grisham-tier legal thriller to an engaging history on cats in Australia, there’s something for everyone in this week’s top new fiction and non-fiction releases.![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/theage-6dd102d4-a8f9-4738-9dee-78065a929ab7.png)The AgeCameron Woodhead and Fiona Capp![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/73d6c0df9a7e6e6fda49bfc946156fe3b7534c93-916bf0c2-292a-4806-a981-fb3c9ed483c8)](https://www.theage.com.au/culture/books/crime-cats-and-feminine-rage-the-new-books-to-read-this-week-20260622-p608z1.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Femme Feral by Sam BeckbessingerBeckbessinger follows Girls of Little Hope with a darkly entertaining feminist satire that finds 44-year-old Londoner Ellie expe…![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/logo-trans.png)picMike Chen![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/9780143138945)](https://www.publishersweekly.com/9780143138945?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Sam Beckbessinger Femme Feral Author InterviewSam Beckbessinger discusses her debut adult novel Femme Feral, exploring werewolves, perimenopause, female rage, and the balance of horror and humor.![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/cropped-cropped-aSwQbt9zvBRZMWYSwIihZy8cxYMUt6hnsxz6aJbhtac__2_-removebg-preview-2-1-270x270.png)Cinema ChordsHoward Gorman![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/femme-feral-sam-beckbessinger-interview-review-2026-cinemachords.jpg)](https://cinemachords.com/sam-beckbessinger-femme-feral-interview/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [The best new books to read this month, chosen by our literary editorIn the market for a riveting new read? Literary expert Sarah Shaffi picks her favourite April books.![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/favicon-7.ico)Yahoo Life UKSarah Shaffi![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/972b34ffc0a4680475eac084ee20c20e)](https://uk.style.yahoo.com/best-books-read-march-chosen-122400606.html?guccounter=1&guce%5Freferrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce%5Freferrer%5Fsig=AQAAABIiT5-UjSwthfrL9yjOGR7miFx4dFK67W7DucuB-dGR2TTt3Q3szW9kn0mgOaX932PsmRipLZvUamrr9XSzU-44rJS4-Rt9IeuQgLyIe78cg-kylio2vXvjFJTd-RaijRTW4RZaUP15wFXUrAp-qxSNjFbCZMeNzmDqo1UsR7Jo&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [FEMME FERAL by Sam Beckbessinger (BOOK REVIEW) | Fantasy-HiveLucy reviews Sam Bessinger’s debut female-rage horror novel FEMME FERAL: “I laughed, I cried, and I howled, but I guess that was the intention - right?”![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/cropped-SiteIcon-270x270.png)Fantasy-HiveLucy Nield![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/femmeferalFEAT.jpeg)](https://fantasy-hive.co.uk/2026/04/femme-feral-by-sam-beckbessinger-book-review/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [The best new books to read this month, chosen by our literary editorSarah Shaffi picks her favourite April reads![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/favicon.03ad311.ico)Red OnlineSarah Shaffi![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/best-books-67c6ffefbcdd8.jpg)](https://www.redonline.co.uk/entertainment/book-reviews/g28256073/best-books/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [A Dark & Twisty Spring: The Biggest Mysteries, Thrillers & Horror NovelsYou think you’ve got troubles? Well, keep these thoughts in mind: At least you’re not being stalked by a killer on a hijacked NYC subway train. Or s…![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/favicon-8.ico)GoodreadsGabrielle Sher![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/3091.jpg)](https://www.goodreads.com/blog/show/3091?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Stoic wisdom abounds in the best Popular fiction out nowWendy Holden reviews the best Popular fiction out now.![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/180.png)Daily MailWendy Holden![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/107772521-0-image-a-14_1775746578069.jpg)](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/books/article-15719397/Review-best-Popular-fiction-GENTLE-Maria-Semple-DRIVING-SEAT-Abigail-Abbas-FEMME-FERAL-Sam-Beckbessinger.html?ns%5Fmchannel=rss&ns%5Fcampaign=1490&ito=1490&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Book Review: ‘Femme Feral’ by Sam Beckbessinger \[Feminist Werewolf Horror\] — What Is Quinn Reading?With the way women are treated by the patriarchy, what choice do we have but to become beasts? Sam Beckbessinger explores that idea in her thrillingly savage, feminist horror debut, Femme Feral. It follows Ellie, a stressed-out tech exec, after an accident leaves her with bizarre symptoms her doctor![](https://static.ghost.org/v5.0.0/images/link-icon.svg)What Is Quinn Reading?Quinn Keaney![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/femmeferal_horror_werewolf_bookreview.png)](https://www.whatisquinnreading.com/reviews/femme-feral-book-review?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#google%5Fvignette) [Q&A: Sam Beckbessinger, Author of ‘Femme Feral’ | The Nerd DailyWe chat with author Sam Beckbessinger about Femme Feral, which is a deeply gratifying, highly addictive and provocative read, Femme Feral is an exhilarating expression of feminine rage, with a warning: If you swallow your anger, it’s sure to come back with a bite.![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/cropped-Nerd-Daily-Logo-Favicon-44a3d2ec5749472570460ac9c555e6b8383624533286e1776d293000ea0204a6.png)The Nerd DailyElise Dumpleton![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/Sam-Beckbessinger-Femme-Feral-Author-Interview-cf2426734bf3b8c7da896674bdc0dd978baf31073fa50aff08d02d24272ffaf8.jpg)](https://thenerddaily.com/sam-beckbessinger-femme-feral-author-interview/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [https://www.netwerk24.com/sarie/boeke/boekstorie-onderdrukte-woede-maak-die-dier-binne-jou-wakker-20260522-0745](https://www.netwerk24.com/sarie/boeke/boekstorie-onderdrukte-woede-maak-die-dier-binne-jou-wakker-20260522-0745?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [https://www.her.ie/books/jenny-keane-reveals-the-book-she-absolutely-inhaled-and-its-going-straight-on-our-reading-list-1008884](https://www.her.ie/books/jenny-keane-reveals-the-book-she-absolutely-inhaled-and-its-going-straight-on-our-reading-list-1008884?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [The Charlotte Bauer Book Club: 3 fiendish novels about badass women getting their own back | News24If the current crop of fiendish novels about badass women getting their own back on a screwed-up society is anything to go by, the #MeToo generation of authors is having its day in court.![](https://static.ghost.org/v5.0.0/images/link-icon.svg)LifeCharlotte Bauer![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/image_20260703115910_djh-4f8a4a80-5c1f-4273-895d-bba8ec1b9160.png)](https://www.news24.com/life/the-charlotte-bauer-book-club-3-fiendish-novels-about-badass-women-getting-their-own-back-20260704-0617?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## Girls of Little Hope [If Judy Blume wrote Twin Peaks: Diane Awerbuck reviews ‘Girls of Little Hope’A gut-wrenching tour of the museum of misery in small-town America.![](https://www.timeslive.co.za/static/images/icons/app-icons/app-icon.180x180.png?v=2)Sunday TimesDiane Awerbuck![](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/l2tsW2LE3_2ve7PGZeAu_QWt-rsr-VlXRIRuK65QLA-G8GwsR0PvzDZSueeIQP2OrkKAX5qcgGtgcQ5l9mJ-V02pQWzEVvj-If0=s1000)](https://www.timeslive.co.za/sunday-times/books/2023-08-13-if-judy-blume-wrote-twin-peaks-diane-awerbuck-reviews-girls-of-little-hope/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#:~:text=Girls%20of%20Little%20Hope%20is,teenage%20in%2Djokes%20%28viz.) [Girls of Little Hope: Thrilling read lingers long after the last wordIn ‘Girls of Little Hope’, Sam Beckbessinger and Dale Halvorsen have written a compulsively page-turning, kickass feminist, emotionally deep and sometimes shockingly dark novel. While about and presumably aimed at teenagers, it can – and should! – be read by older adults too.![](https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/wp-content/themes/daily-maverick/images/DMmonogram_favicon152px.png)Daily MaverickCharne Lavery![](https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Girls_of_little_Hope_Header.jpg?w=1280)](https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/article/2023-08-17-girls-of-little-hope-thrilling-read-lingers-long-after-the-last-word/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Girls of Little Hope – The British Fantasy Society![](https://britishfantasysociety.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/cropped-bfsroundel-270x270.png)The British Fantasy SocietyFor all things fantasy, horror, and speculative fictionRobin CM Duncan![](http://britishfantasysociety.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/Girls-of-Little-Hope-by-Sam-Beckbessinger-and-Dale-Halvorsen.jpg)](https://britishfantasysociety.org/girls-of-little-hope/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [JACKET NOTES | In friendship, there’s hope‘Girls of Little Hope’ by Dale Halvorsen and Sam Beckbessinger focuses on the relationship between three teenage girls in small-town America![](https://www.timeslive.co.za/static/images/icons/app-icons/app-icon.180x180.png?v=2)Sunday TimesDale Halvorsen and Sam Beckbessinger![](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/LqknmDIBIVP_fm_eplVcDcW6Dcm9j2_xbLHPyKEZqndihv1OvbxkhHIeVt7xogSqbrpT9VYaOQ6zzL7yGxhaJ6w-ceK0w42jN88=s1000)](https://www.timeslive.co.za/sunday-times/books/2023-06-25-jacket-notes--in-friendship-theres-hope/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Book Review: Girls of Little HopeThe premise seems familiar enough: three girls go into the woods, and only two return. But therewith ends the similarities between Girls of Little Hope (Sam Beckbessinger, Dale Halvorsen), and a do…![](https://s2.wp.com/i/webclip.png)Whispers Unto the AetherView all posts by barefootmegz![](https://barefootmeds.files.wordpress.com/2023/06/img_1814.png)](https://barefootmeds.wordpress.com/2023/06/05/book-review-girls-of-little-hope/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Koeler as ’n Nirvana-album | Netwerk241996\. In Little Hope, Kalifornië, staan tyd stil, só voel dit vir Rae Hooper, Donna Ramirez en Kat Larkin.![](https://www.netwerk24.com/images/pwa/netwerk24/apple-touch-icon-180x180.png?v=Qf4GlA1TQRFuTqMTBLHwI3RhlyBif8oLN0X8o0TWFRo)Netwerk24Sonja van der Westhuizen![](https://cdn.24.co.za/files/Cms/General/d/3638/67e6d2bd52a04ef0b440c9523fe2f24f.jpg)](https://www.netwerk24.com/netwerk24/kunste/boeke/koeler-as-n-nirvana-album-20230813?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Content hosted by iono.fm](http://iono.fm/e/1329482?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [#BookReview ‘Girls Of Little Hope’ by Sam Beckbessinger and Dale Halvorsen - Book Reviews and Tours by Rachel Read itAbout the book… A chilling and eerie tale of monsters, teen angst and small-town America for fans of Stranger Things, The Thing, and the 1990s Three girls went into the woods. Only two came back, covered in blood and with no memory of what happened. Or did they? Being fifteen is tough, tougher when…![](https://www.rachelreadit.co.uk/favicon.ico)Book Reviews and Tours by Rachel Read itRachelB![](https://www.rachelreadit.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/CRT_GOLH.jpg)](https://www.rachelreadit.co.uk/bookreview-girls-of-little-hope-by-sam-beckbessinger-and-dale-halvorsen/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Review: Girls of Little Hope by Sam Beckbessinger and Dale Halvorsen | FanFiAddictThree girls went into the woods. Only two came back, covered in blood and with absolutely no memory of what happened. Or Did they?![](https://fanfiaddict.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/cropped-FFA-Logo-icon-270x270.png)FanFiAddictCharlie Battison![](https://fanfiaddict.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/1.jpg)](https://fanfiaddict.com/review-girls-of-little-hope-by-sam-beckbessinger-and-dale-halvorsen/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [SA fiction is having a surge right now – here are 13 titles to take note of | LifeSouth African fiction publishing is having a surge at the moment. It began in April and May, possibly because the Franschhoek Literary Festival in mid-May acts as a catalyst here, but has continued into June.![](https://www.news24.com/images/pwa/news24/apple-touch-icon-180x180.png?v=Hq91Zw7MG6ZbO4RLNgWoTp3v-MRUJ1mh6o0qraw6H4w)LifeShaun de Waal![](https://cdn.24.co.za/files/Cms/General/d/8279/18d54a0834f541709601f4bc92a688c6.jpg)](https://www.news24.com/life/books/sa-fiction-is-having-a-surge-right-now-here-are-13-titles-to-take-note-of-20230629?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Sam Beckbessinger & Dale Halvorsen: “Girls of Little Hope” (ARC Review)YA reviews, books set in the ’90s, dark YA, coming of age and friendship![](https://offbeat-ya.blogspot.com/favicon.ico)Roberta R.![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwMAhszRx_whD8nBc87IyzyG9OlRvOnQfcejKQSihCKE7gJNbBlAScI3D6kt4KdoENmvD1U7vrFh6MiKUmFTLt-MWhT4ftcDzVtcOl67QuEg8UZ8OvC6Bhk68wflEhMB1ICeGsINr_8KFA32NlwLApA-y5UhFTqPkIri_1Cjq2da0Bv3Beesf4GlZyfQ/w1200-h630-p-k-no-nu/2023.07.09_GirlsOLHope.jpg)](https://offbeat-ya.blogspot.com/2023/07/sam-beckbessinger-dale-halvorsen-girls-of-little-hope-arc-review.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Girls of Little Hope (Sam Beckbessinger and Dale Halvorsen) – Book ReviewHell is high school, right? Girls of Little Hope, the latest offering from both Sam Beckbessinger and Dale Halvorsen, follows the aftermath of a mysterious incident in which three girls disappear i…![](https://i0.wp.com/setthetape.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/cropped-STT-triangle-sep18.png?fit=192%2C192&ssl=1)Set The TapeChris Haigh![](https://i0.wp.com/setthetape.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/Girls-of-Little-Hope-HEADER.png?fit=1200%2C460&ssl=1)](https://setthetape.com/2023/07/24/girls-of-little-hope-sam-beckbessinger-dave-halvorsen/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Book Review: Girls of Little Hope by Dale Halvorsen and Sam Beckbessinger – Pretty Little Memoirs – Award Winning YA Book Blog![](https://prettylittlememoirs.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/cropped-submark-270x270.png)Becca Jayne![](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/aa66bc6bb5146c1484380fab1c94c07e?s=50&d=mm&r=g)](https://prettylittlememoirs.com/girls-of-little-hope-by-dale-halvorsen-and-sam-beckbessinger/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [girls of little hope – Fiendfully ReadingPosts about girls of little hope written by fiendfullyreading![](https://fiendfullyreading.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/cropped-books-header.jpg?w=192)Fiendfully Readingfiendfullyreading![](https://fiendfullyreading.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/cropped-books-header.jpg?w=200)](https://fiendfullyreading.com/tag/girls-of-little-hope/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Interview with Sam Beckbessinger & Dale Halvorsen, Authors of Girl of Little HopeHey Guys! Following on from my book review post of Girls of Little Hope earlier in the month and my Interview with one of the co-authors Dale Halvorsen. I now have a special treat for you as I have…![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/webclip.png)Where there's Ink there's Paperwheretheresinktherespaper7![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/golh2.jpg)](https://wheretheresinktherespaper.wordpress.com/2023/07/22/interview-with-sam-beckbessinger-dale-halvorsen-authors-of-girl-of-little-hope/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Schizanthus NerdRead all of the posts by Schizanthus Nerd on Schizanthus Nerd![](https://schizanthusnerd.files.wordpress.com/2020/04/cropped-logo-purple.jpg?w=192)Schizanthus NerdSchizanthus Nerd![](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/7a41d55346c80a7f4ec7eb2eaf705188?s=200&d=identicon&r=g)](https://schizanthusnerd.com/author/schizanthusnerd/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Review – Girls of Little Hope by Sam Beckbessinger & Dale HalvorsenA nostalgic 90s coming-of-age horror that begins on a sinister note and swiftly moves into the realms of total terror, Girls of Little Hope is a gripping read. Engaging, considered and smart, it’s …![](https://s2.wp.com/i/webclip.png)thebookbeard's Blog![](https://thebookbeard.files.wordpress.com/2023/06/img_6032.jpg)](https://thebookbeard.wordpress.com/2023/06/14/review-girls-of-little-hope-by-sam-beckbessinger-dale-halvorsen/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Girls of Little HopePitched as a chilling and eerie tale of monsters, teen angst, and small-town America for fans of Stranger Things, I couldn’t think of a more apt description.![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/webclip-3.png)The Dickinson Of It Alldanijanecox![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/girls-of-little-hope.jpg)](https://thedickinsonofitall.wordpress.com/2023/07/10/girls-of-little-hope/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Girls of Little Hope By Sam Beckbessinger and Dale HalvorsenFirst of all I would like to thank the lovely Kabriya at Titan Books for being so kind and sending me a copy of this book in exchange for a fair and honest review. Girls of Little Hope by Sam Beckb…![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/webclip-2.png)Where there's Ink there's Paperwheretheresinktherespaper7![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/9cab81db-b94b-4004-ac27-28939ed27a7b-1.jpg)](https://wheretheresinktherespaper.wordpress.com/2023/07/04/girls-of-little-hope-by-sam-beckbessinger-and-dale-halvorsen/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Girls of Little Hope by Dale Halvorsen & Sam Beckbessinger reviewWhile 80s nostalgia is still alive and well, nostalgia for the 1990s is becoming more and more prevalent; especially in the horror genre. This brings us to Sam Beckbessinger and Dale Halvorsen̵…![](https://bloodyflicksblog.files.wordpress.com/2017/11/cropped-bloody-flicks-logo-v2.png?w=192)Bloody Flicksbloodyflicksblog![](https://bloodyflicksblog.files.wordpress.com/2023/07/girls-of-little-hope.png)](https://bloody-flicks.co.uk/2023/07/12/girls-of-little-hope-by-dale-halvorsen-sam-beckbessinger-review/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Girls of Little Hope by Sam Beckbessinger and Dale Halvorsen ReviewHello fellow booklovers! Today I’m back with my review for Girls of Little Hope by Sam Beckbessinger and Dale Halvorsen. Have you ever read![](https://www.wix.com/favicon.ico)Artfully BookishNatasha![](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/8bcec8_c3ad543bdc8a47d69ab33047fc2e99b4~mv2.jpg/v1/fill/w_750,h_1000,al_c,q_85,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01/8bcec8_c3ad543bdc8a47d69ab33047fc2e99b4~mv2.jpg)](https://artfullybookish.wixsite.com/artfullybookish-1/post/girls-of-little-hope-by-sam-beckbessinger-and-dale-halvorsen-review?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [In Two MindsAn article about writing duos in Fair LadyWriting duos.pdf2 MBdownload-circle](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/content/files/2025/04/Writing-duos.pdf "Download") ## Moving to the UK [‘Tabloid, tweed and terrible weather’ - a guide to moving to the UKSara-Jayne Makwala King chats to author Sam Beckbessinger about her new book, \`Moving to the UK’. It’s been described as an \`end-to- end guide to moving from South Africa to the land of tabloid, tweed and terrible weather’.![](https://www.capetalk.co.za/apple-touch-icon.png)CapeTalk![](https://cdn.primedia.co.za/primedia-broadcasting/image/upload/c_fill,h_290,w_480/m7hdastpch6razrzjswa.jpg)](https://www.capetalk.co.za/articles/485984/tabloid-tweed-and-terrible-weather-a-guide-to-moving-to-the-uk?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [JENNIFER PLATT | August getting you down? Then hide inside a three, head for the UK or just braaiThere are a number of books come out that are sure to get you through this iffy month![](https://www.timeslive.co.za/static/images/icons/app-icons/app-icon.180x180.png?v=2)TimesLIVE PremiumJennifer Platt![](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/ljlrtztH9wWQXvuO519q5SYQsjmIE2mSXc7bqZcMJukYGvEYG2Ub0yXtVENJvpOK1V4jG99oruDshoabFQOY_UVaXml5RZ2FkV8=s1000)](https://www.timeslive.co.za/sunday-times-daily/opinion-and-analysis/2023-08-02-jennifer-platt-august-getting-you-down-then-hide-inside-a-three-head-for-the-uk-or-just-braai/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [hearthis.atStream your mixes, tracks and sounds on hearthis.at - lossless audio streaming and unlimited uploads. Sell directly & get paid instantly.![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/apple-touch-icon-1.png)hearthis.at![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/apple-touch-icon.png)](https://hearthis.at/sue-grant-marshall/readingmatters-29august-2023/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [hearthis.atStream your mixes, tracks and sounds on hearthis.at - lossless audio streaming and unlimited uploads. Sell directly & get paid instantly.![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/apple-touch-icon-2.png)hearthis.at![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/apple-touch-icon-1.png)](https://hearthis.at/sue-grant-marshall/readingmatters-29august-2023/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Read: A guide to moving to the UK‘Moving to the UK: A Concise Guide for South Africans’, by bestselling local author Sam Beckbessinger, is for every Saffa looking to make the move across the pond.![](https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/wp-content/themes/daily-maverick/images/DMmonogram_favicon152px.png)Daily MaverickSam Beckbessinger![](https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/Movin_UK.jpg?w=1280)](https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/article/2023-09-26-read-moving-to-the-uk-book-by-sam-beckbessinger/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Trek na Brittanje: ‘Ek mis baie dinge van SA, maar . . .’ | Netwerk24Om na ’n ander land te migreer kan in vele opsigte duur wees – materieel en andersins – maar dit kan die moeite werd wees, skryf Sam Beckbessinger.![](https://www.netwerk24.com/images/pwa/netwerk24/apple-touch-icon-180x180.png?v=Qf4GlA1TQRFuTqMTBLHwI3RhlyBif8oLN0X8o0TWFRo)Netwerk24netwerk24![](https://cdn.24.co.za/files/Cms/General/d/9419/5fb0882fc40345e0abdbdb3744ed1bb5.jpg)](https://www.netwerk24.com/netwerk24/stemme/uittreksels/trek-na-brittanje-ek-mis-baie-dinge-van-sa-maar-20230922?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Fabulous Reads: Perfect guide to immigration | Northglen NewsBook review - Moving to the UK by Sam Beckbessinger![](https://images.caxton.co.za/wp-content/uploads/sites/51/2020/08/site-icon-246x245.png)Northglen Newskhurshidguffar![](https://www.citizen.co.za/north-glen-news/wp-content/uploads/sites/51/2024/02/39kbUK-edited.jpg)](https://www.citizen.co.za/north-glen-news/news-headlines/local-news/2024/02/05/fabulous-reads-perfect-guide-to-immigration/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Moving to the UK -The interview of the book, with Sam BeckbessingerSouth African Ex-Pats · Episode![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/favicon32.b64ecc03.png)Spotify![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/ab6765630000ba8a00578beb04cd260040deb79e)](https://open.spotify.com/episode/18iyqTlp1AKdTV0ErvyKKv?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## Survive the Century "A novel way to make the big forces that shape our world manageable." - *Gizmodo* "The writers infuse the game with a mix of absurdity and startling realism." - *Grist* "Laden with smart quips, tragic and hilarious narrative forks, and cute illustrations, and with its lengthy list credits (including artists, scientists, and backers), it’s a lesson in what can be achieved through collaboration." - *Input Mag* [Interview: Sam Beckbessinger and Simon Nicholson of “Survive the Century”Sam Beckbessinger and Simon Nicholson are two co-creators of the new video game, Survive the Century, a choose-your-own-adventure game about the climate crisis.![](https://storiesforearth.files.wordpress.com/2020/02/cropped-new-stories-for-earth-book.png?w=192)Stories for EarthForrest Brown![](https://storiesforearth.files.wordpress.com/2021/08/interview-with-survive-the-century.jpg?w=1200)](https://storiesforearth.com/2021/08/03/interview-survive-the-century/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Vaccines & sinking citiesGameplay involves a journey through forking paths of policy choice and consequent scenarios juiced up with hilarious, satirical and irreverent stories by four writers![](https://www.telegraphindia.com/images/favicon.png)Telegraph IndiaRajat Chaudhuri![](https://assets.telegraphindia.com/telegraph/2021/Jul/1625418299_gadgets-and-game.jpg)](https://www.telegraphindia.com/science-tech/game-review-survive-the-century-by-three-kids-in-a-trenchcoat/cid/1821208?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [‘Survive the Future’ Is a Simple Game Making Our Climate Choices Real“You are the senior editor of the world’s most popular and trusted news organization. You have the enviable power to set the news agenda, and thereby shift the zeitgeist.” So reads the introductory text to Survive the Century. Also my dream bio, but I digress.![](https://i.kinja-img.com/image/upload/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_80,q_80,w_80/743983ef40322777a7049971bf4faeae.png)GizmodoThe A.V. Club![](https://i.kinja-img.com/image/upload/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_675,pg_1,q_80,w_1200/3f8c0b2b560dd91c9a6c2f765d57752b.jpg)](https://gizmodo.com/survive-the-future-is-a-sneaky-simple-game-that-makes-o-1846849685?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Futuristic computer game hopes to beat climate change anxietySurvive the Century aims to use play to give users hope and a sense of agency about the planet’s future![](https://news.trust.org/application/assets/genx/images/apple-touch-icon.png?v=12345678)news.trust.orgThomson Reuters Foundation![](https://news.trust.org/contentAsset/image/1af7ea0a-3dcd-42e4-aa14-65a28c769f05/image/byInode/1/filter/Resize,Jpeg/jpeg_q/70/resize_w/1100)](https://news.trust.org/item/20210510153159-kmnud/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Meet the team behind the climate game that lets you save the world — or watch it burnSurvive the Century maps out the multitude of possible futures under climate change.![](https://grist.org/fix/wp-content/themes/grist-fix/static/img/favicon/apple-icon-180x180.png)FixBrianna Baker![](https://grist.org/fix/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2021/07/Survive-The-Century-2.png)](https://grist.org/fix/arts-culture/survive-the-century-choose-your-own-adventure-climate-game/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [This text-based game wants to shift your thinking about climate change‘Survive the Century’ is a cute and hilarious choose-your-own-adventure game where your choices let you prevent, or expedite, a climate-change apocalypse.![](https://cdn2.bustle.com/2023/input/icon-17641d8f7a.png)InputCraig Wilson![](https://imgix.bustle.com/uploads/image/2021/5/10/93f7336c-f578-4e57-aaf1-96fcddd007d4-survive-the-century.png?w=1200&h=630&fit=crop&crop=faces&fm=jpg)](https://www.inverse.com/input/gaming/survive-the-century-game-wants-to-shift-your-thinking-about-climate-change?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Can You Survive the Century?How should Covid-19 vaccines be funded? Should oil companies be allowed to buy advertising space in newspapers to argue that emission reduction efforts are rushed? These are the types of questions you’ll be confronted with in Survive the Century.![](https://www.acumenmagazine.co.za/favicon/apple-icon-180x180.png)Acumen![](https://cms.contactmedia.co.za/image/1255bc655c298a5ad80fd1ffdbbb41a4.1200x627|c.jpeg)](https://www.acumenmagazine.co.za/articles/can-you-survive-the-century-11789.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [This gameplaying book takes the reader through possible climate futures all the way to 2100Do our decisions matter? What could lead us out of the planetary crises we have created? ‘Survive the Century’, a book created from a video game offers answers.![](https://scroll.in/static/assets/favicon-160x160.7d97c537daffcf114789e9abfa5fb07f.003.png)Scroll.inSayantani Sengupta![](https://s01.sgp1.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com/book/182671-xoaobkmizk-1668145797.jpg)](https://scroll.in/article/1037180/this-gameplaying-book-takes-the-reader-through-possible-climate-futures-all-the-way-to-2100?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Combining stories and science in book version of online cli-fi game ‘Survive the Century’Using stories to illustrate real science, “Survive the Century” offers readers of all ages a sense of how much impact they have on the future.![](https://www.iol.co.za/favicon/apple-touch-icon.png)IOL | News that Connects South AfricansMurphy Nganga![](https://image-prod.iol.co.za/resize/650x366/African-Climate-Development-Initiative-ACDI-and-University-of-Cape-Town-researcher-Chris-Trisos-along-with-some-colleagues-released-a-book-version-of-their-online-cli-fi-game-Survive-the-Century-Picture-Supplied?source=https://xlibris.public.prod.oc.inl.infomaker.io:8443/opencontent/objects/9bdea5e8-4589-5385-9ebf-c68c67835d0d&operation=CROP&offset=0x42&resize=800x450)](https://www.iol.co.za/weekend-argus/lifestyle/combining-stories-and-science-in-book-version-of-online-cli-fi-game-survive-the-century-7397c430-15df-4e41-9231-8e089279f1e7?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) More: - Fix the Planet, [New Scientist’s Fix the Planet newsletter](https://survivethecentury.net/%E2%80%8B%E2%80%8Bhttp://view.e.newscientist.com/?qs=984269d22233c4286b2feafebd933b01eaf1bc4464a1aa0911af4fb9e183654efe24601d102afad505145b521cecfdbf14e769babfccffb23cc4c6c8ac6dbdbae375bbea25b2374a5a6bc76a95481e413019af07c4cd791e&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - In this Choose-Your-Own-Adventure-Game, You Can Help Save the World – Or Watch it Burn, [Grist](https://grist.org/fix/survive-the-century-choose-your-own-adventure-climate-game/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - The New Hot Theme in Gaming: Climate Change, [FastCompany](www.fastcompany.com/90671510/the-new-hot-theme-in-gaming-climate-change) - Climate Save or Climate Disaster? You Decide, [Inside Climate News](https://insideclimatenews.org/news/15052021/warming-trends-climate-game-cave-art-action/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - Futuristic “Survive the Century” Hopes to be Tonic for Climate Chance Anxiety, [Times Live](https://www.timeslive.co.za/sunday-times/lifestyle/2021-05-11-futuristic-survive-the-century-hopes-to-be-tonic-for-climate-change-anxiety/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - Experiencing Climate Change Anxiety? This Futuristic Computer Game Helps You Make Sustainable Choices, [CNN News](https://www.news18.com/news/buzz/climate-change-anxiety-futuristic-computer-game-survive-the-century-3725714.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - ‘Save the Century’: Playing For a Better World, [The New Indian Express](https://www.newindianexpress.com/magazine/2021/jul/04/save-the-century-playing-for-a-better-world-2324166.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - This Online Game Places the World’s Future in Your Hands, [Optimist Daily](https://www.optimistdaily.com/2021/08/this-online-game-places-the-worlds-future-in-your-hands/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - How to Game the System, [Ecologist](https://theecologist.org/2021/jul/22/how-game-system?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## Manage Your Money Like a F-cking Grownup [‘Manage Your Money Like a #$%^&ng Grown Up’ with Sam Beckbessinger - Nongcebo McKenzie: The Podcast Sam Beckbessinger is the author of the bestselling Manage Your Money Like a Fucking Grownup and the novel Girls of Little Hope (co-authored with Dale Halvorsen). Her interactive story about climate change, Survive the Century, was featured i…![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/favicon.ico)Buzzsprout![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/Nongcebo-20McKenzie-20-20The-20Podcast-20Cover-20.png)](https://www.buzzsprout.com/1142234/episodes/17439016?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [How To Manage Your Money Like A Grownup | Edit | AllBright“We often spend money to try to fix our emotional problems. Spoiler: it seldom works.” For Sam Beckbessinger, author of Manage Your Money Like a F-cking Gr…![](https://www.allbrightcollective.com/favicon.ico)Gemma Dawkins![](https://images.ctfassets.net/2r3ks6xyfvix/T2F11kppraBOHWooF3WDg/4eefe06d9ebec87e863c207e6798ffd8/IMG_5981.jpg?w=1200&h=627)](https://www.allbrightcollective.com/edit/articles/how-to-manage-your-money-like-a-grownup?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Why You Should Read “Manage Your Money Like A F\*cking Grownup”There are two books I regularly see younger doctors carrying around, sneaking a chapter during a coffee break or between theatre cases. The first is When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi, which…![](https://s2.wp.com/i/webclip.png)Whispers Unto the AetherView all posts by barefootmegz![](https://barefootmeds.files.wordpress.com/2021/06/manage-money1.jpg)](https://barefootmeds.wordpress.com/2021/06/28/why-you-should-read-manage-your-money-like-a-fcking-grownup/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [The South African book awards](https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=3578052218887041) [Interview with Sam Beckbessinger | Bargain Books![](https://www.bargainbooks.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/cropped-Icon-1-270x270.png)Bargain Books![](https://www.bargainbooks.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Interview-with-Jen-Thorpe-5-1080x675.jpg)](https://www.bargainbooks.co.za/interview-with-sam-beckbessinger/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Insider tips from local author on how teens should manage their money | LifeThe ideas and habits you pick up about money when you’re in your teens will shape you forever.![](https://www.news24.com/images/pwa/news24/apple-touch-icon-180x180.png?v=Hq91Zw7MG6ZbO4RLNgWoTp3v-MRUJ1mh6o0qraw6H4w)LifeElizabeth Mamacos![](https://cdn.24.co.za/files/Cms/General/d/9286/75a50ac5a4584f68b87f262992fcb1da.jpg)](https://www.news24.com/life/Archive/insider-tips-from-local-author-on-how-teens-should-manage-their-money-20201002-2?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Sam Beckbessinger’s fav ETFs - Just One LapThis month Sam Beckbessinger tells us her fav ETF, and the criteria she’s currently using to guide her investment decisions![](https://justonelap.com/wp-content/uploads/fbrfg/apple-touch-icon-180x180.png)Just One LapWeb Admin![](https://i0.wp.com/justonelap.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/IMG_5981-square-and-small.jpeg?fit=600%2C595&ssl=1)](https://justonelap.com/sam-beckbessinger-my-fav-etf/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [8 Questions with Sam Beckbessinger, Author of Manage Your Money Like a GrownupSam Beckbessinger, Author of Manage Your Money Like a Grown Up speaks about her new book and money advice she wishes she got as a teen.![](https://www.nutreats.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/cropped-N-FAV-PASTEL-2019-270x270.png)NutreatsZissy Lewin![](https://www.nutreats.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Manage-your-money-like-a-fucking-grownup.jpg)](https://www.nutreats.co.za/sam-beckbessinger-interview/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Oh, grow up! Sam Beckbessinger’s adults-only guide to managing your money - BizNews.comSam Beckbessinger’s book is all the proof you need that managing your money doesn’t need to be a chore, and that it’s never late to make your money grow up too.![](https://www.biznews.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/cropped-BizNews_logo_squared-270x270.png)BizNews.comAlec Hogg![](https://www.biznews.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/Ruda_Sam-Beckbessinger_Still.jpeg)](https://www.biznews.com/thought-leaders/2018/09/19/sam-beckbessinger-managing-your-money?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Don’t put all your trust in a Financial Advisor with Sam Beckbessinger | Woman & FinanceI am so thrilled about this podcast because I got to interview my personal finance girl crush! My guest is Sam Beckbessinger, an entrepreneur and best-selling author of the book Manage Your Money like a Fucking Grown Up! Our conversation focuses on 3 key areas: Why you shouldn’t fully…![](https://womanandfinance.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/wordpress-com-scalable-vector-graphics-icon-wordpress-logo-png-clipart-300x300.png)We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with it.AcceptMapalo Makhu![](https://womanandfinance.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/2.png)](https://womanandfinance.co.za/dont-put-all-your-trust-in-a-financial-advisor-with-sam-beckbessinger/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [You’re a f\*cking grownup. Manage your money like oneSam Beckbessinger on her book “Manage Your Money like a F\*cking Grownup: The Best Money Advice You Never Got”.![](https://www.702.co.za/apple-touch-icon.png)702![](https://cdn.primedia.co.za/primedia-broadcasting/image/upload/c_fill,h_290,w_480/rofumler9khytrzscm1f.jpg)](https://www.702.co.za/articles/309149/you-re-a-f-cking-grownup-manage-your-money-like-one?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Money mistakes cause vicious debt cyclePeople earning up to R20 000 spend 60% of their salaries paying off arrears, a recent report reveals![](https://mg.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/98413e17-logosml.jpeg)The Mail & GuardianTshegofatso Mathe![](https://mg.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/bd311bd9-debt-scaled.jpg)](https://mg.co.za/business/2021-02-14-money-mistakes-cause-vicious-debt-cycle/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Content hosted by iono.fm](http://iono.fm/e/588492?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [‘My first memory of money was my mom crying about it’Personal finance author Sam Beckbessinger opens up about her attitude to money (hopes and fears, successes and failures, etc.).![](https://www.capetalk.co.za/apple-touch-icon.png)CapeTalk![](https://cdn.primedia.co.za/primedia-broadcasting/image/upload/c_fill,h_290,w_480/hxgj1n2rhzxjwg9pfvjz.jpg)](https://www.capetalk.co.za/features/37/make-money-mondays/353458/my-first-memory-of-money-was-my-mom-crying-about-it?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Watch: Sam Beckbessinger discusses Manage Your Money Like a F\*cking Grownup on the Anne Hirsch ShowWe never get an instruction manual about how money works. We never have to pass a test to get our Money License before we can take a new credit card for a drive. Most of what we learn about money comes from advertising or from other people who know as little as we do. No wonder we make such basic mi…![](http://bookslive.co.za/favicon-96x96.png)Jonathan Ball @ Sunday Times Books LIVETweet![](https://i.imgur.com/gn7Y3LR.jpg)](http://jonathanball.bookslive.co.za/blog/2018/04/11/watch-sam-beckbessinger-discusses-manage-your-money-like-a-fcking-grownup-on-the-anne-hirsch-show/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Interview: Sam Beckbessinger on managing your money - TechCentralThe Best in Tech host Regardt van der Berg chats to author Sam Beckbessinger about managing money, how to avoid debt and why you should think twice about buying that shiny new gadget.![](https://techcentral.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/cropped-techcentral-thumbnail-for-socials-2023-270x270.jpg)TechCentralRegardt van der Berg![](https://techcentral.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/sam-beckbessinger-2156-1120-1024x532.jpg)](https://techcentral.co.za/interview-sam-beckbessinger-on-managing-your-money/200564/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ### Creative writing mentorship URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/creative-writing-mentorship/ Last updated: 2024-02-20T13:48:17.000Z I'm a [bestselling author with experience teaching creative writing at MA level](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/about/), and I love working with early-career writers to help them hone their manuscripts, find their voice and make writing a more central part of their lives. I can help with nonfiction, novels, children's and young adult fiction (I'm no good with poetry, sorry!). **How I can help:** - Give you compassionate feedback on your writing to help you see your own strengths and weaknesses. - Suggest specific exercises and resources to help you learn the skills you need to round out your creative toolkit. - Work with you to develop a full-length project to the point where it's ready for submission. - Be your writing cheerleader, and help to hold you accountable to your own writing goals. **What I can't do:** - Proofreading or detailed line edits. - Act as a sensitivity reader. - Introduce you to an agent or publisher. - Guarantee publication. [Send an enquiry](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/contact/) ## Initial exploratory session Start here. I always want to make sure that there's a good match between my abilities and your creative goals before we commit to working together. If there's good chemistry, we can then proceed to month-by-month mentoring. **You submit:** - An outline of your project, - Up to 3,000 words, - A cover letter telling me what you'd like my help with. **You'll get:** - Written feedback, - A 30-minute chat (online), - A follow-up email with suggested next steps. **Price:** £70 once-off. ## Month-by-month mentoring Ongoing support as you write a full-length work, from the wild fumbling through the first draft, to establishing a sustainable writing routine, to revising the manuscript into a well-structured form, all the way to polishing the query letter to send to potential agents. **You submit:** - Up to 5,000 words a month (to a deadline). **You'll get:** - Written feedback on your work, - A 1-hour meeting every month (online or in-person in east London), - Suggestions for exercises and resources, - Support with setting goals and establishing a writing routine that works for you. **Price:** £80 per month or £384 for six months paid upfront (20% discount). ## Full manuscript reading Detailed, impartial feedback on the full draft of a book, including commentary on the concept, plot, structure, character journeys and writing style. Please note that this is nota full copy-edit, this is known as developmental editing. Suitable for early or late drafts of a manuscript. **You submit**: - A full-length work of up to 120,000 words, - A cover letter telling me if there are particular questions you have or areas you'd like me to give special attention to, - (Optional) A draft of your query letter and synopsis. **You'll get:** - An editorial report of around 3,500 words, - In-line comments in the document flagging specific problem areas and moments of brilliance, - A 30-minute meeting (online). **Price:** £18 per 1,000 words. Expect a 4-week turnaround for longer projects. If you're working on a children's book or picture book, let me know and we can agree on a price structure that suits you. [Send an enquiry](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/contact/) *Please note that I reserve the right to choose not to continue working with you at any time, for any reason. You'll be refunded pro-rata if you pre-paid for a six month package.* ### How can I help? URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-can-i-help/ Last updated: 2026-03-19T14:01:45.000Z Beloved friends, readers, fellow werewolf obsessives, I am so goddamn grateful that you're here, asking how you can help me launch my debut adult novel, [*Femme Feral*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/femme-feral/). The goal: **get** **as many pre-sales before 9 April** (in the UK) **and 12 May** (in the US/SA)as humanly possible. Pre-sales are especially helpful because that's how the book makes it on to bestseller lists (which, in turn, makes a massive difference for future sales). Thank you for doing this! You are my personal hero. ## The number 1 thing you can do: pre-order the book If there's basically any chance you think you might want to buy the book at some point, please **consider pre-ordering** it now instead of waiting until it's on the shelves in the bookshop. This helps enormously. [Pre-order in the UK](https://www.bloomsbury.com/uk/femme-feral-9781526687876/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Pre-order in the US](https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/783073/femme-feral-by-sam-beckbessinger/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Pre-order in SA](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/femme-feral-south-africa/) UK readers, the even better option for you is to pre-order the [SPECIAL INDIE EDITION](https://femmeferal.cmpgn.page/rXJ5D0?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) with sprayed edges. [![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/03/signed-1.jpg)](https://femmeferal.cmpgn.page/rXJ5D0?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## Other ways you can help (for free!) If you can do *any one* of these things, I'd be so grateful. - **Add the book** to your TBR on Goodreads or Storygraph. - Once you've read it, leave a review on [Amazon](https://boox.link/go/1803362073?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Goodreads](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/62825562-girls-of-little-hope?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or [Storygraph](https://app.thestorygraph.com/books/c5547603-519e-4241-9917-bad0eeeba359?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (you can be honest, I won't take it personally!) - **Message any buddies** who you think might enjoy the book to let them know about it. - **Request the book** from your local library. - **Post** on your social media platform of choice. - If you have a podcast, TikTok platform, blog, or anything like that, would you consider inviting me on as a guest? ### Images you can share ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/03/Both-Covers-2.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/03/Feral.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/03/Femme-Feral-----Portrait--9x16------Endcard-----Roundel0.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/03/FF_SOCIALS_SQUARE.jpg) ## Thank you! Gosh, again, I really can't thank you enough. Writing novels is literally the thing I've wanted to do since I was five. This book doing well is the best chance I have of being able to keep doing it! GIANT SLOPPY GRATEFUL KISSES TO YOU. xx Sam ## Posts ### The fascination of what's difficult URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-fascination-of-whats-difficult/ Last updated: 2026-08-06T14:16:24.000Z Hello loves! Yeats once described his urge to write as ["the fascination of what's difficult"](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43286/the-fascination-of-whats-difficult?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a profoundly lovely phrase. I am lucky enough to get to spend most of my days doing the work I'd do even if I weren't getting paid for it (for most of my life it *was* work I was doing without getting paid for it). I'm an obsessive optimiser of many types of labour (see for e.g. my complex multi-basket laundry system; the 2 hours I spent this week trying to wire up my bank's API to a Google Spreadsheet), but the best sources of meaning in my life comes from work I have no desire to optimise at all. I've spent the past few weeks harnessed to my desk frittling for hours over individual sentences of my new novel (here's my [live writing journal](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/cuckoobird-live-writing-journal/) if you're following along), and friends, I'm having the time of my damn life. SPEAKING of fascinatingly difficult things, Esmée Gummer, the absolute legend who leads my local running club, was paralysed in her twenties and had to learn to walk again, and now she is running 5,000km across the UK over the next 99 days. She's keeping [a video blog](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rFuef4Yb%5FM&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) of her mad/awe-inspiring adventure. The first time I joined the run club, threeish years ago now, it had been half a decade since I'd run 5km. I kept apologising, huffing and puffing right at the back of the pack, doing 5-minute intervals of running and walking the whole way. Esmée stayed at my side the entire time, cracking me up with banter and encouragement, and it's what got me back into running. She's just the most generous and sparkling soul who wants nothing more than for people to enjoy using their bodies while they can. Even if it's been a *long time* since you went running, if you're anywhere in the UK, you can probably join her for a 5km run along the way (she's leading a free 5km run in every UK city). I bet she'll encourage you and make you giggle too. [The schedule's here.](https://www.thenations5k.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## Updated money resources! One of the other bits of joyful work I've been chipping away at for you is updating all the *Manage Your Money* resources on the site, for the revised edition launching in September. I won't be sending them all out as emails, since a lot of you aren't South Africans so questions about Eskom feed-in tariffs are a bit less relevant to you (lucky!), but I will let you know WHEN new resources are up, so you can go and read them if you wish. One of the big ones is done: an updated (and opinionated) [roundup of the best investment and savings accounts in South Africa](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/good-funds/) right now. There are lots of changes since the last update, so if you're in the market for a new home for your savings or investments, I hope this helps! [Like a Fucking Grownup | Radtastic investment funds and savings accountsAn opinionated roundup of the best simple investments and savings accounts in South Africa for new investors![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/social-icon-8a3719ff-47b9-409b-8ea1-5e9b15581750.png)Sam BeckbessingerSam Beckbessinger![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/photo-1768207450151-30c0bf8e8091-7c9c1bae-2046-413b-b35b-443e13d69076)](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/good-funds/) Coming soon: easier to use money calculators, an updated and simplified dashboard, the long-requested dashboard for freelancers/artists/entrepreneurs/other-money-misfits, a roundup of resources for young people struggling to find their way into their first job, and a few detailed money-saving guides on specific topics. If there's anything in particular you'd like from me, let me know! By the way, if any of you know happen to be **experts in home solar systems** (or you've just done it to your own home), I'd love to chat to you (just hit reply)! I've written a detailed guide to slashing electricity bills but I'd like to get a couple of expert eyes over it before I publish. ## Some other joyful things! - If, like me, you like to listen to music while you work but you find lyrics distracting, may I suggest taking a break from film scores/electronic music and exploring other music genres in languages you don't speak? I've recently been obsessed with [Habibi Funk](https://open.spotify.com/user/jannisstuertz?si=c8c942d995444776&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a label collecting eclectic Arabic music from the 70s and 80s, and [latin salsa](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37i9dQZF1DWUFmUp1ez7YB?si=nlXE5L9rRw-JN0hjjEQHqg&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - [Anna Jones's Substack](https://annajonesfood.substack.com/) has been the source of all the best things I've been eating recently. I've recently loved her [roast avocado tacos](https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/jan/16/mexican-food-avocado-tacos-tomato-salsa-refried-beans-recipes-anna-jones-the-modern-cook?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (roast avo! Believe me, try it!) and various iterations of her [tomato-melon salads](https://annajonesfood.substack.com/p/10-salads-that-will-see-you-through). I don't think anyone captures the taste of London summer for me quite like her. I think one of the best general heuristics in life is to learn to produce the things you most enjoy consuming. - I've been reading *Practical Magic* in preparation for the movie sequel coming out later this year, and it's just as cosy and charming as the movie. If you're looking for something soothing and gentle, I recommend! I'll be spending the rest of the month in France, not doing much except eating, reading, swimming, and working on my novel. Hope your plans are equally languid and fulfilling! Wishing you work you love, Sam ### Money calculators URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/money-calculators-2/ Last updated: 2026-08-25T09:34:57.000Z *Last updated: 22 July 2026* ## Earning ### Remaining paycheques How many paycheques do you have left until you retire? Assumes no employment breaks, and that you retire at age 65. Current age Month of the year (July = 7) Remaining paycheques: ### Lifetime spending ratio What percentage of all the income you've earned over your life so far have you spent (ignoring investment growth)? Total savings today (R) Total you've earned over your life (R) Lifetime spending ratio: You probably don't remember exactly what you've earned over your life so far. Just a guess is fine! ### Lifetime earnings How much money might you earn over the rest of your working life? Current age Current monthly salary, after tax (R) Annual salary increase over inflation (%) You might still earn: We assume your salary increases 1% a year (above inflation). Edit to match your career expectations. ### What investing an extra R\_\_\_ a month could be worth If you could save a little extra every month and invest it, how much more would you have at 65? Current age Extra amount saved per month (R) Real growth per year (%) Extra at age 65: 8% is roughly how much global equities grew per year above inflation over the past 50 years, in rand. The answer is in today's money. ### What you could save over your working lifetime Your salary increases only match inflation, you work until 65, and your savings aren't even invested. Even then: Current age Monthly salary (R) Invest those savings and the numbers get much, much bigger (see the calculator above). ## Saving & investing ### Rule of 72 How many years will it take your money to double in value if you invest it? Annual interest rate (%) Years until your investment doubles: ### Lump sum growth How much will a lump sum be worth in a number of years' time, if you invest it? Present value (R) Annual interest rate (%) Years invested Future value: Assumes monthly compounding. Use the real interest rate. ### Investing monthly How much will your investment be worth if you contribute to it every month? Monthly contribution (R) Annual interest rate (%) Years invested Future value: Assumes monthly compounding. ### Investment targets How much do you need to invest monthly to end up with a specific amount of money? Investment goal (R, today's money) Current savings (R) Annual real interest rate (%) Years until you need it Monthly contribution needed: Use the REAL interest rate, or how much your money will grow *above* inflation. ### TFSA or RA? If you've got some extra money lying around, should you put it in your tax-free savings account or your retirement annuity? Monthly savings (R) Current age Marginal tax rate now (%) TFSA growth, above inflation (%) RA growth, above inflation (%) Marginal tax rate in retirement (%) TFSA value at 55, tax-free in your pocket: RA value at 55, before retirement tax: RA value at 55, after estimated retirement tax: Comparing like with like, you should probably prioritise your Why two RA figures? Your TFSA is funded with money you've *already* paid tax on, and both its growth and its withdrawals are tax-free — so the TFSA figure is what actually lands in your pocket. An RA works the other way round: contributions are pre-tax (this calculator assumes you reinvest every rebate, so the same out-of-pocket R2 000 buys a bigger contribution), but SARS taxes your withdrawals as income in retirement. So the "before retirement tax" RA figure flatters the RA; the "after retirement tax" line puts it on the same footing as the TFSA, and that's what the verdict uses. We default your retirement tax rate to 20% — most people drop into a lower bracket once they stop earning a salary, so it's usually lower than your rate now. Adjust it to your situation. This is a rough, conservative estimate: in reality part of an RA can be taken as a lump sum (with a tax-free portion) and the rest as an annuity, so real tax is often lower than a flat rate suggests. RAs also typically grow a bit slower than a pure-equity TFSA because of Regulation 28's limits on equities and offshore assets. ## Debt & loans ### Effective annual cost of a loan Turn a daily or monthly interest rate into an equivalent annual interest rate, so you can compare apples with apples. Monthly interest rate (%) — only complete one Daily interest rate (%) — only complete one Effective annual interest rate: ### How much you'd save if you sold your car How expensive it will be over the next few years to keep your car vs. sell it? **If you kept your car** Car repayment (R/month) Car insurance (R/month) Petrol, tolls, parking etc. (R/month) Months left on car loan **If you sold your car** Alternative transport (R/month) Value of car if sold (R) Settlement cost of loan (R) | | Keep car | Sell car | | ------------------------------- | -------- | -------- | | Cost over remaining loan months | | | | Cost over 5 years | | | | Cost over 10 years | | | Based on this, you should ## Tax & retirement ### Income tax estimator A rough estimate of your annual income tax bill. Tax works on a sliding scale; only each extra chunk of money is taxed at the higher rate. Taxable income per year (R) Your age Under 6565–7475+ Estimated annual income tax: Effective rate: · Marginal rate: Probable monthly salary, after tax: ⚠ Uses the 2026/27 tax-year tables (from 1 March 2026). "After tax" here means after income tax only — before other deductions like UIF, medical aid or retirement contributions. ### Retirement contribution tax rebate Money you put into a retirement fund is subtracted from your taxable income. Here's roughly what SARS will give you back. Taxable income per year (R) Retirement contribution (R/month) Your estimated tax rebate: per year Deductions are capped at 27.5% of taxable income, max R350 000 a year. Uses the 2026/27 tax tables (from 1 March 2026). Remember: retirement savings are tax-deferred, not tax-free — you pay income tax when you withdraw after retirement, usually at a lower rate. ### The real cost of pulling money out of your retirement fund Withdrawals are taxed at your marginal rate, but the bigger loss is the opportunity cost. Amount withdrawn (R) Your marginal tax rate (%) Real growth per year (%) Cash you actually get in your pocket: What it costs your retirement fund: | over 10 years | | | ------------- | | | over 20 years | | | over 30 years | | | over 40 years | | All in today's money. Tap literally every other kind of savings before you drain your retirement fund. ## Advisers & fees ### What your adviser's fees will really cost you Fees compound just like growth does. A little 1% can eat a shocking chunk of your lifetime wealth. Current investment (R) Monthly contribution (R) Years invested Growth per year, before fees (%) Annual fee to test (%) Value if you paid no fees: Value after this fee: Lost to fees over the period: ( of your potential wealth) Enter *one* percentage. To see what advice alone costs you, enter just your adviser's advice fee. To see the total drag of everything you pay, enter your whole effective annual cost (EAC) — that's the advice fee plus platform and fund-management fees combined. Either way, you're testing a single ongoing annual fee: this calculator doesn't separately model once-off upfront or contribution fees, which on most modern products are small next to the yearly drag shown here. ## Other useful calculators - Should you upgrade your geyser or install a full solar (PV) household system: [solar calculators](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/cut-your-electricity-bills/) - A spreadsheet for getting out of debt: [the debt-busting Money Dashboard](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1BmCmb8Fo%5FQjeWQ00ipaoiRlFhvxVvkx9DYk8%5FgKS6A0/copy?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - A calculator for your freedom number: [networthify.com](https://networthify.com/calculator/earlyretirement?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - A calculator for your retirement number: [10x.co.za](https://www.10x.co.za/calculators/retirement-annuity?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - A more detailed retirement calculator: [detailed retirement spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PG2XSWTAvRyehHAslqt5tiJQ%5FnoeucAMjwA%5F1tZi0ns/edit?usp=sharing&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - South African school fees estimator: [school fees estimator](https://schoolfees.ashlunar.dev/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) *Disclaimer: these are simple estimates designed to help you think through your choices, and you should take all of this with a pinch of salt, not as formal financial advice. I'm just a money dork who loves spreadsheets, not a professional financial advisor. If you want real advice,* [*hire a pro*.**](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-to-find-a-financial-adviser-who-doesnt-suck/) If you've spotted an error, [please let me know](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/contact/) so I can fix it! ## A new edition of **Manage Your Money Like a F-cking Grownup's* coming in September Join the newsletter to hear when it lands (and get useful money tools dropped straight in your inbox). Notify me Email sent! Check your inbox to complete your signup. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime. ### Cut your electricity bills URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/cut-your-electricity-bills/ Last updated: 2026-09-03T16:35:29.000Z Does your utilities bill look like a ransom demand? Babe, it's not just you! Electricity prices in South Africa have risen 900% since 2008\. That translates to [**an annual increase of 15%**](https://mybroadband.co.za/news/energy/656874-south-africa-kissing-eskom-goodbye.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). I'm going to take a WILD BET that your salary hasn't been rising that fast. No wonder you feel like you have to ration the hot water like it's Moët & Chandon. Here's a practical action-plan for getting those bills (somewhat) under control. The first two levels apply to renters as well as people who own their own place. *Last updated: 20 July 2026* ****In brief** Electricity inflation is likely to only get worse over the coming few years. The order-of-attack for reducing your electricity bills: 1. ****The single best low-cost thing you can do is buy a geyser blanket and insulate your hot-water pipes.** 2. Next, improve your energy efficiency through **small swaps**. Fit an efficient shower-head, reduce your pool pump hours, improve insulation and airflow in your home. Don't buy new big appliances until you need to replace them anyway (the exception: if your fridge/freezer is 20+ years old, get a more efficient one). Airfryers, lightbulbs and unplugging chargers aren't going to make much difference. 3. If you can afford it, ****upgrade your geyser** (solar or heat pump). This usually pays back within 2-6 years. 4. ****Installing a solar system** will likely take between 4-7 years to recoup the investment before you start saving money, and how long depends mostly on what municipality you live in (for some lucky people, it's even faster). It's only worth it if you're planning to live in the same house for at least that long, since a solar system **might* increase the value of your house if you sell it, but probably not by as much as you think. There are lots of options for funding solar installations. ## Your energy bill will probably get worse over the next few years We used to have a loadshedding problem. Now we have an electricity bill problem. Unfortunately, even though the government has finally made some good structural reforms to start unbundling our energy system, Eskom remains in a death spiral that [analysts have been warning of for years](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxgtmrbnTog&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Basically: Eskom's lost its biggest customers (who've mostly closed their businesses in South Africa), the countries we used to export electricity to (like Namibia) are now investing in their own renewable energy systems instead, municipalities can't pay, and billions of rands were wasted building enormous coal plants. So the lights are on but no-one can afford them. The [death spiral works like this](https://businesstech.co.za/news/business-opinion/847393/the-death-spiral-south-africa-urgently-needs-to-escape/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): energy prices go up, so we use less energy, so Eskom's income falls, so they have to ... you guessed it ... put the prices up. There is no imminent plan to stop the death spiral. The government will have to keep propping Eskom up with bailouts until our energy system's been fully unbundled and there's enough capacity for alternative suppliers to keep the lights on throughout the country, and that's *at least* a few years away. Look. I am not a witch and I can't predict the future, but I think there's every chance electricity prices are only going to continue getting worse over the next 2-5 years, before *hopefully* the structural reforms start to fix the problem. **Assume the costs are going to continue to rise above inflation** until then, and reduce your electricity usage as much as you can. Just a warning, though: **even if you use less energy, your bills might not drop by as much as you hope,** [**because it's *fixed charges* that are climbing the most**](https://mybroadband.co.za/news/energy/655883-eskoms-real-price-hikes-are-much-worse-than-advertised.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)(the ones you pay regardless of how much power you use). That's why we're also going to talk about whether you should try to break up with Eskom completely and install a full solar system. ## Stage 1 - Insulate your geyser 40-50% of a typical middle-/upper-income home's electricity is spent doing just one thing: [**heating water**](https://www.investec.com/en%5Fza/focus/financial-wellness/going-solar-in-south-africa.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). So hone in on your bastard geyser like it owes you money. **The single best thing you can do to reduce your energy bills is to insulate your geyser and hot water pipes**. - A geyser blanket costs R250-700 and can save you R60-100/month. Easy to buy at your local hardware shop and [fit yourself](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLB2ZsB6zOE&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - Insulate the hot water pipes. The pipes closest to the geyser are the most important. - Lower the temperature of your geyser to 55°C (don't go any colder than that, or you risk *goggas* growing in there). - [Have your geyser serviced](https://energybee.co.za/guides/geyser-maintenance-south-africa?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by a plumber every 4ish years in normal water areas and every 2ish years in hard water areas (Joburg and parts of the Western Cape) to check it's working efficiently. - If your geyser's old, or you're willing to spend a bit more, consider replacing it with a newer more efficient geyser or heat pump (see below). A timer costs R500-1500 and can help, but you get much better ROI from rather insulating the geyser. It *is* worth turning the geyser off completely if you're going to be away for several days, though. ## Stage 2 - Focus on small swaps that are worth it (and forget the ones that aren't) Here's what a representative upper-income South African household's energy use looks like (assuming they have a pool, tumbledryer, aircon, 2 fridges and a deep freeze): ![Donut chart showing the breakdown of South African household energy usage (over 20k pm household income). 38% is the geyser, 15% is the fridge/freezer, 8% is the pool pump.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/07/data-src-image-def9bc9d-bbcd-4867-b6f3-56bf666bdd03.png) Compiled from data in Alison Hughes and Richard Lamour's research report for the University of Cape Town: [Residential Electricity Consumption in South Africa.](https://www.savingenergy.org.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/2021%20Residential%20Electricity%20Consumption%20in%20South%20Africa%20research%20report.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Take this with a pinch of salt - it's 2015 data and the efficiency of various appliances has changed since then (modern fridges, especially, don't use as much energy as they used to). Amongst lower-income households, a much larger share of the energy goes into cooking, and something like the [Wonderbag](https://mywonderbag.co.za/welcome?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)'s going to make a massive dent. But you're living in a suburban home or a city flat, the most you could save by *never cooking at all* is 8% of your energy bill, so don't get too tied up in knots about air fryers and putting lids on your pots. As with everything, start with the big culprits. **Here are the small swaps that are worth it:** - Replace the **seals on your fridge** and freezer if they're old. - Replace your **shower head** with a water-saving one, especially if you have teens who think they live in a spa. - Upgrade your pool pump to a more efficient one and [make sure you're not running it for more hours than it needs](https://thepoolteam.co.za/pool-solutions/how-long-should-i-run-my-pool-pump?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). If you pay less for electricity at night, run the pump at night. - If you’re blasting a lot of aircon and heaters, spend some time **improving the insulation and airflow** of your home. Simple fixes like heavier curtains, reflective film on your windows, [painting your roof white](https://rhinoluxe.co.za/products/rhinoluxe-heat-reflect?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), adding more roof insulation, installing security gates so you can keep more doors open in summer, and sealing gaps in windows and doors make a massive difference. ![lighted candle in dark room](https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1619378352777-1742dc62b564?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=M3wxMTc3M3wwfDF8c2VhcmNofDM5fHxjYW5kbGV8ZW58MHx8fHwxNzg0NzA4MTQzfDA&ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=80&w=2000) An easy trick for finding where the cold's getting into your house: hold a candle up to all the gaps around your doors and windows and see where it flickers. Those are the bits you need to insulate. Photo by [siddharth kushwaha](https://unsplash.com/@sidkush?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). **Only once you've done those, consider these:** - An **air fryer** is usually more efficient than an oven depending on your cooking habits. - Replace your **lightbulbs** with energy efficient ones. Lights barely use anything but you have a lot of them and replace them often anyway. Anecdotally, one of my readers told me he replaced all his old 50W downlights with 5W LED’s, and it took almost 2kW off his house’s power load – the equivalent of removing a whole geyser! ![Table comparing efficient and inefficient lightbulbs, part one](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/07/image-11.png) ![Table comparing efficient and inefficient lightbulbs, part two](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/07/image-12.png) Source: [City of Cape Town](https://resource.capetown.gov.za/documentcentre/Documents/Procedures%2C%20guidelines%20and%20regulations/Smart%5FLiving%5FAudit%5FGuide%5Ffor%5FYour%5FHome.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) **When your appliances die,** replace them with the most energy efficient ones you can afford. It's generally not worth proactively replacing appliances if they're still working okay, with one major exception: **if your fridge/freezer is old enough to buy its own booze, consider retiring it early**. An old (20 year+) fridge/freezer(s) could be responsible for 20+% of your household energy bill, so replacing it with a more efficient one will likely recoup its costs within a couple of years. When it's time to replace your stove, surprisingly, an **induction stove** is usually better value for money than a gas one (gas is cheaper per kWh than electricity, but a gas hob delivers less heat into the pot; [induction wins overall](https://energybee.co.za/news/gas-stove-vs-electric-stove-cost-south-africa-2026?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)). Although, of course, you've got to weigh this up against the benefit of still being able to cook when the power's out. If you've made all these swaps and you're still using more power than seems possible, [buy an energy monitor](https://www.takealot.com/home-power-meter-plug-socket/PLID93172324?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and check all your appliances one by one, or shell out to have a professional audit done. The culprit is probably something involved in heating or cooling (unless, I don't know, you have a 3-meter TV). ![South African energy efficiency label for appliances](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/07/image-13.png) When you're replacing an appliance, look for [the energy label](https://www.savingenergy.org.za/asl/consumers/fridges-and-freezers/index.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and buy the best-rated one you can afford. ## Stage 3 - Upgrade your geyser If you've got a bitof money to throw at this problem, and you own your own place, *I bet you can guess* which device I'm going to suggest you upgrade ... Yup, again, **geyser**. There are broadly four upgrade options: 1. Install a new, efficient **gas geyser** for R5-15k-ish. 2. Retrofit **solar tubes** onto your existing geyser for R6-15k-ish. 3. Install a full **solar geyser system** for R15-30k-ish. 4. Install a **heat pump** for R15-35k-ish. A heat pump uses [only 30% of the electricity of a normal geyser](https://mybroadband.co.za/news/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Guide-for-Selecting-Renewable-Energy-Options-V2.8.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for the same output. **How long it will likely take you to recoup the costs of a new solar geyser or heat pump:** | | Annual saving | R15k system | R35k system | | ----------------- | ------------- | ----------- | ----------- | | Bigger household | R9 012 | 1.7 yrs | 3.9 yrs | | Smaller household | R6 442 | 2.3 yrs | 5.4 yrs | All routes have their pros and cons, and the right choice for you depends on your budget, how much water you use, whether pump noise/refilling gas tanks will annoy you, and how sunny your roof is. Broadly speaking, though, **a new solar or heat pump geyser system will pay for itself between 2-6 years**. Solar tube retrofits pay for themselves even faster. Whilst a gas geyser will save you money over a regular electric one, most people will get a better return on investment (ROI) rather installing solar or heat pumps. The more hot water you use, the faster the system will pay for itself. If you're a big family with multiple teenagers, the payback is much faster than if it's just you and your cat. But basically, **if you can afford to spend at least R5k, own your place,** and are **going to live in your house for at least 2 more years**, it's probably worth upgrading your geyser. But *how much* you should spend depends on the details of your life. As a starting point, I'd read the [City of Cape Town guide comparing pros and cons of heat pumps and solar](https://resource.capetown.gov.za/documentcentre/Documents/Procedures,%20guidelines%20and%20regulations/Water%5FHeating%5FFAQs.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) then get quotes directly from a [Kwikot](https://www.kwikot.com/heat-pump-vs-solar-geyser-which-saves-you-more-money?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [ITS](https://itssolar.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) installer. Sadly there are no rebates available for solar geysers any more. 💡 ****Watch out for the rebound effect.** There's a funny thing that happens when many households install a solar geyser - they start taking longer showers! Don't cancel out all your energy savings because showering feels "free" now. ## Stage 4 - Installing solar's worth it ... if you live in a solar-friendly municipality and have no plans to move So finally there's the big question: is it worth it to **install a full solar (PV) system**, liberate yourself from Eskom, and ride off into the glorious sunset (that's powering your kettle)? There's a reason this is step 4 rather than step 1\. You will get a better return on investment focussing on the earlier suggestions than on this one. Even if you *do* install a full-shebang-bells-and-whistles solar system, you'll get the best ROI by alsomaking your house as energy-efficient as possible first (you'll also probably want to put timers on your biggest electricity guzzlers to shift as much of your consumption to the daytime as you can). Now. There are three different tiers of solar: 1. **Tied to the grid without batteries**. R30-80k for 5kW. Save money only while the sun shines. Only useful if there are people at home during the daytime, or if you live in Cape Town (see below). 2. **Tied to the grid with batteries (hybrid/BESS)**. R75-250k for 5kW inverter + 10kWh battery. The batteries mean you can use your energy in the evening, plus it's a backup if there's a blackout. This is the option most people are looking at. 3. **Fully off-grid**. R200k+ (and can be way more depending on your usage). Energy freedom, and the only option that fully protects you from the increased *standing charges* we can expect to keep climbing. Now, most people do not have a spare R100k lying around, so the vast majority of people will either *extend their home loan* or *take out a specific solar loan* to pay for it, meaning you're also having to account for extra interest/monthly repayment costs. **Where you live** changes the ROI on solar dramatically: - [**Cape Town**](https://mybroadband.co.za/news/energy/596256-bad-deal-for-solar-in-south-africa.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): the municipality pays you for money you feed into the grid, so a solar installation pays for itself fastest. - **Joburg** (the City Power bits) and **Tshwane**: feed-in programmes are in the works (maybe??) but have been stuck in limbo for ages – tbh I wouldn't bank on them. - In the **rest of the country**, it's a patchwork so check if your municipality offers a feed-in tariff (most don't). Some municipalities like **Emfuleni** are actually charging you EXTRA FEES for having solar panels – the audacity! – and some require you [to install a wildly-overpriced bidirectional meter at your own cost.](https://mybroadband.co.za/news/energy/559122-big-lie-about-feed-in-meters-for-selling-electricity.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) If your municipality doesn't offer a feed-in tariff, Chris Yelland has some spicy views about [whether customers need to register their solar systems](https://eebi.co.za/articles/post/2349204/analysis-of-eskom-and-municipal-demands-for-registration-of-residential-solar-pv-and-bes-systems?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) at all. This is [a pretty good free calculator](https://mortgagecalculator.co.za/solar-roi-calculator/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for **working out the return on investment** for installing a solar system in your home, but I do find some of their defaults a little optimistic. For the most accurate result, I'd suggest using this approach: - Use the [**tier 3** *Professional solar planner*](https://mortgagecalculator.co.za/solar-roi-calculator/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) calculator. - Check your current electricity bill, and use this quick tool to [estimate what size solar system](https://energybee.co.za/tools/solar-system-sizer?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) you'd need and its installation cost, and input those details into the calculator. Add an extra 20% to whatever you're quoted as contingency (e.g. if your municipality makes you install a stupid R10k bidirectional meter). - Use this article to [estimate what size battery](https://energybee.co.za/news/what-size-solar-battery-do-i-need-south-africa-2026?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) you might want to add. Add this to the *Installation Cost* number (to account for the upfront cost) as well as the *Battery Cost* number (to account for replacement costs). - Adjust the *Eskom annual increase* down to 6% to be conservative (although I don't think 12% energy inflation is unlikely). - Use the "Personal loan/solar financing" option even if you'd be adding it to your home loan, because this lets you adjust the interest rate and see what portion of your overall cost is simply interest. [SA solar ROI calculator](https://mortgagecalculator.co.za/solar-roi-calculator/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) For many people, a solar (PV) system is going to take between 4-7 years to pay for itself. But the maths on this is pretty personal and depends on how much you'd need, where you live, and how you'd pay for it – for some lucky people, loan instalments will be lower than your energy bill reduction and you'll **start saving money from day 1**. The one number I *would not believe* that this calculator delivers is the **estimated property value increase**. The calculator assumes you will be able to recoup a full 70% of the installation cost if you sell your house. I'm sceptical. The numbers you see bandied about online ("solar will increase your home's value by 5%!!!") usually come from *people trying to sell you solar systems*, or were based on surveys conducted during the worst days of loadshedding, so can't be trusted. Safest to ignore this part of the calculation completely. So here's how to make this decision: **run the numbers for your household in the calculator and find out how many *years* it will take the system to pay for itself**. Then ask yourself one simple question: **am I likely to still be living in this house for that long?** If the answer is yes, there's your answer. ![Screenshot from mortgage calculator with the Payback Period circled.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/07/Screenshot-2026-07-22-at-13.53.55.png) The number on the mortgage.co.za calculator you want to look for. The price of solar components (especially batteries) has been dropping dramatically while Eskom's costs keep rising, so the payback period maths gets better and better every day. **Re-run this calculation for yourself annually.** If the numbers say yes, get a quote from your existing home loan provider and compare this to [a specialist solar finance quote](https://oobasolar.co.za/solar-finance/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Compare the *total amount of interest you'll pay over the lifetime of the loan*, not just the monthly cost. Remember the general rule that **the longer you take to repay the debt, the more expensive it is**. If you can't afford to install the whole solar kit at once (even with a loan), another option is to buy an inverter that has enough capacity for the whole house's energy needs, but to add the panels as you can afford them. If you're a freelancer/business owner and you work from home, talk to your accountant about whether you can access the **Section 12B tax deduction** for a portion of your home solar installation. That will help bring the costs down even further. 💡 ****Can I install a solar system if I don't own my own home?** Not easily. Plug-and-play solar units exist but they're not really worth it yet, and it's difficult to take an integrated PV/solar system with you when you move. Your best option is to convince your landlord to install the system for you (good luck). Solar's not an easy option **if you're in a flat**. Installing solar likely involves getting the whole Body Corporate to agree who owns exactly what inch of roof space, or to collaborate on installing a single large system for everyone, and, um, *have you ever interacted with any Body Corporate?* Unlikely to happen. If you are lucky enough to have a reasonable one, there are [some specialist vendors who co-ordinate central solar systems](https://www.stsolutions.co.za/solutions/efficient-energy/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#solar) for sectional titles. Frustratingly, teeth-gnashingly, even if you install a grid-tied solar system you are **still at the mercy of whatever standing charges and feed-in tariffs your municipality/Eskom/NERSA wants to charge you**. The only way to truly liberate yourself from all this is a full off-grid system, probably also with a backup diesel generator, which is the option that takes the longest to pay for itself, and simply doesn't make sense for most people unless you're living somewhere *really* remote. Sadly, for most of us, true Eskom freedom isn't quite in reach *yet*, but keep checking the numbers – the maths on solar look better every year! #### Some pro tips when choosing your home solar system Advice from Fred Strydom, a SA Consulting Electrical Engineer who's installed solar in his own home: - Carefully plan your system expansion if you are planning to install the system in phases. The systems are modular, but the tech and models tend to change quite quickly, and you might have compatibility issues if you wait too long. For instance, you can't mix different ratings of solar panels. - It's worth springing for a larger (usually 8kW) inverter if you can afford it. Although it comes at a 15-20% premium on the cost, your gadgets are less likely to trip the power on heavy usage days. Plus you'll be able to install more solar panels if you need them later. - If you can spend a bit more to get a hybrid inverter, do. You'll be able to add batteries at a later stage. - Check warranties and cycles on the batteries. You typically want at least 6000 cycles. - A lot of inverters have noisy cooling fans. If you're tight on space and will have to sleep near your inverter, consider a liquid cooled system instead. - Make sure your home insurance provider is happy with your solar installation plans! ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/09/image.png) An example graph from reader Fred Strydom, showing how his home solar system now produces most of his family's energy needs. ## Final thoughts I'd bet my last geyser blanket that over the next few years, energy prices are going to keep getting worse, solar components are going to keep getting cheaper, and that the people who are going to come out of this best are the ones who **start tackling their energy bills now**. Start with the boring, unsexy, high value stuff. Insulate that villainous geyser before you go crawling around unplugging phone chargers. What will make the biggest difference to your energy bills are not shiny new gadgets, but the fundamentals of how you heat and cool things in your home. And if you own a house, run the numbers about whether a new geyser or larger solar installation is worth it for you. You might have done this a few years ago when loadshedding was at its worst, but every year the costs have moved more in solar's favour, so **check again**. You're might not be able to afford a full delicious divorce from Eskom this year, babe. But whatever your budget is, there are steps you can take today to pay them a little bit *less*. Wishing you plenty of sunlight! Sam --- ## Key sources & extra reading Alison Hughes and Richard Lamour's research report for the University of Cape Town [Residential Electricity Consumption in South Africa](https://www.savingenergy.org.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/2021%20Residential%20Electricity%20Consumption%20in%20South%20Africa%20research%20report.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) was the source for the data I used to create the energy use chart and the "how long it will likely take you to recoup the costs on a new geyser" breakdown. The geyser savings assume a solar geyser or heat pump cutting geyser electricity 65%ish priced at R3.50/kWh. Any misunderstandings or errors about the research report are mine. The claim that a solar geyser or heat pump usually pays back between 2-6 years is based on the [City of Cape Town](https://resource.capetown.gov.za/documentcentre/Documents/Procedures,%20guidelines%20and%20regulations/Water%5FHeating%5FFAQs.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (which estimates 3-6 years) plus some of my own modelling, which gets some household types down to 2. My understanding of the Eskom death spiral has been mostly informed by following [Chris Yelland's](https://eebi.co.za/articles?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) in-depth work over the past several years. If you're technically-minded, Eon de Koker has [a fantastic detailed guide to home PV systems](https://mybroadband.co.za/news/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Guide-for-Selecting-Renewable-Energy-Options-V2.8.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and an accompanying [Excel spreadsheet model](https://mybroadband.co.za/news/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/PV-System-Cost-Model-V3.xlsx?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) which allows you to play with the assumptions in more detail, but note that this is from 2024 so some of the cost assumptions may be out of date (things only look better for solar since then). I played with *manyyyyy* solar ROI calculators when writing this piece and the one offered by [mortgagecalculator.co.za](https://mortgagecalculator.co.za/about/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is definitely the best. Thanks okes! A mega-super-duper thanks to Frederik Strydom, SA Consulting Electrical Engineer, who helped me to (a bit) understand the nuances of PV installation! And to Matty P, my pet engineer, for proof-reading, and also for doing most of the actual real-world insulating of my actual flat, lol. --- *This guide was last updated in July 2026\. If you spot anything out-of-date or wrong, please* [*let me know*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/contact/)*! Thank you SMOOCHES love you!* ### Let's save pessimism for better times URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/lets-save-pessimism-for-better-times/ Last updated: 2026-07-18T08:00:07.000Z Hello loves! I've been fantasising a lot recently about moving to a commune with all my friends. Isn't everyone? Or is this just the perpetual state of every burnt-out anxious-overachiever-in-recovery? It got as far as me browsing vacant plots on property websites and reading [long, detailed guides to how people manage to the finances and decision-making](https://supernuclear.substack.com/p/co-buying-property-with-friends) in coliving communities. Blame the summer, the lazy warmth that has me dreaming of lounging on a lawn eating strawberries with my head lying on the belly of a friend whose head is lying on the belly of another friend, every laugh sending a ripple of tummy-fat-wobbling joy through the whole daisy chain of heads and bellies. I want to grow huge prize-winning marrows in a shared garden plot and slice them with a vegetable peeler into a salad bowl the size of a bucket, fit for feeding twenty. I want to play make-believe with a roving gang of my friend's children. I want to lounge on the muddy cool banks of a pond next two 3-5 of my favourite people while we all read books in companionable silence, pausing frequently to read our favourite sentences to each other out loud. I want to fall asleep to the cheerful sounds of ten other people breathing, farting and snoring. The days feel long and luxurious and ripe to be shared with as many people as possible. To be fair, I *have* been doing at least some of these activities (thank you Hampstead Heath Ladies Pond, thank you this season's especially delicious tomatoes, thank you all the wonderful friends who have slept on my sofa over the past few months) but I have had to do them in-between WORK and ADMIN and having to earn a stupid INCOME to pay for my stupid BILLS – the worst! Such things should not be required of a person when the sky is this blue and our time on this earth is so short. South Africans reading this, I know I'm out of sync with you seasonally, but you've got to imagine that it's December fifteenth and I'm trying to convince myself to still answer emails. ![a path leading to a row of houses](https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1712263825754-06368f378cb3?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=M3wxMTc3M3wwfDF8c2VhcmNofDF8fHdlYWxkfGVufDB8fHx8MTc4NDI3ODU4Nnww&ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=80&w=2000) Weald & Downland Museum, photo by [Tomasz Zielonka](https://unsplash.com/@tzielonka?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) The human animal is a fundamentally social primate, really. On the weekend, I visited the [Weald & Downland Living Museum](https://www.wealddown.co.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) near Chichester, as research for my next novel, which contains a story-within-the-story set in the fifteenth century. The museum is glorious. It's a huge expansive plot where buildings from various historical time periods have been rescued and maintained exactly as they used to be, populated with costumed actor-historians demonstrating olden-day skills. I watched a man bake bread in a commercial Victorian bakery over hot coals, a sixteenth-century yeoman showing us what games he'd have played to while away the evening, a woman working in the kitchens of an upper-middle-class Tudor house who taught us how to distil plant oils and make butter. They hold classes where you can learn how to make shoes and fletch arrows and process flax. It's just lovely. I don't want to *live* in the past, obviously, but I would love to visit it for a few hours, maybe, say once a week. ![A fifteenth century kitchen at the Weald and Downland museum. A bundle of wood is propped behind the ash of a firepit. Cooking implements hang on the wall.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/07/72438166-EA83-449C-A874-A80A3A4BF454_1_105_c.jpeg) A 15th century kitchen at the Weald & Downland museum. The two bundles suspended above the fire pit are hunks of pork, hanging on tenterhooks, so the smoke can keep flies away. The heart of every English home, from every era before the twentieth century, was the hearth. Up until the Tudors (1500s) this was literally just a fire burning on the floor in the middle of the main room. Chimneys didn't exist, but this wasn't particularly a problem, one historian explained to me, since these ceilings were high and the rooms generally cold, so the smoke would collect above people's heads before filtering out through the roof. The smoke was useful in keeping pests away – people would hang their clothes in it to try to smoke out the fleas, for instance. And more to the point, the big central fire was *communal*. At night, everyone in the household would gather round on stools and cook and eat and tell stories and stare at the flames. I think this is true everywhere for most of Homo Sapiens' history. The wealthier you were, the more space you had for other people to join you around your hearth. In England, this changed with Henry VIII (at least, this is what one of the wonderful historian-actors at the Weald & Downland museum told me, before she taught me to MAKE BUTTER WITH MY HAND AND A BOWL, which felt like literal magic, so I'll believe anything she tells me). Henry copied the idea from the French that the way to show off how important you are is by how difficult it is for people to access you, so the fashion in wealthy houses changed from one huge communal room to small sitting rooms with a private fireplace, each needing its own chimney, where only you and the Important Person could sit and discuss your matters in private. This was the beginning of the fracturing of English communal life into individualistic striving, expressed through the design of the houses we lived in. Every year, the museum hosts a "residency" where a group of amateur historians commits to living as people used to in a certain time of history for over a week, a digital detox on steroids. What's so striking about hearing them [report what the experiment feels like](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGMSTGuOotg&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is how much *fun* they have, even though it's freezing February and they work all day. A lot of it, I'm certain, is simply that they're almost never alone. They sing together, work together, tell stories for entertainment, eat together round one big fire. I'm sure they probably wouldn't want to do this *every day*, but what fun to do it for a while. I'm sure this is the historical society's version of fantasising about moving to a commune with their friends, or maybe just of taking a break from the modern world. Okay but here's what's hilarious to me about the fact that I'm so occupied by the commune fantasy at the moment: it's not miles away from what I grew up with! Everyone in my family lived in big sprawling multigenerational households, out of financial necessity! It mostly sucked! I couldn't wait to get out of there and strike out on my own! And this is true for most people all around the world, actually: the moment we *can* afford to live on our own, we usually choose to. We want so many things that are bad for us, though. I want to subsist on a diet of purely heavily salted *slap* chips. I want a snow machine in my living room that permanently showers me in cocaine. When I'm depressed I want to stay inside the house alone watching *Buffy the Vampire Slayer* all the time despite knowing rationally I will be so much happier if I don't. And despite having organised a huge chunk of my adult life around the goal of NOT living with housemates/my family, I sometimes wonder if I'd be much happier if I did. ![The cover of the essay collection "Show me the Place" by Hedley Twidle](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/07/hedley.jpg) I've been reading Hedley Twidle's remarkable psychogeography essay collection, [S*how Me the Place*](https://hedleytwidle.com/show-me-the-place?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*.* One of my favourite chapters is "The Utopia Project", about a time Hedley volunteered to write a Code of Conduct for an intentional living/Buddhist community in the Western Cape. As my partner, an engineer, likes to say: "every safety rule is written in blood", and in writing this rulebook Hedley learns way too much about the various micropolitics and internecine dramas that have plagued this place, as they plague every utopian project. > "\[Guests would look around at the beautiful surroundings and think\] this was the place where your long-suppressed dreams of a different life might finally come into being. A better life, the counter life that you should have been living all along. And that was just the problem, said Maxine, the owner. No sooner had people arrived than they began to have designs on it: they wanted to make it into *their* version of the good life. Every week brought another round of guests or seekers, another genre of alternative living. Buddhist retreats and gut cleanse workshops, song circles and sweat lodges, tantric masterclasses (by invitation only) – they all passed through, each with their own dietary requirements." [All real-world attempts at utopias are failures](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/mistakes/). They can't exist; they're fantasies. It's in the word itself, *utopia* in the Greek meaning both "good place" and "no place", a kind of punny joke about how a perfect place can't really exist. People who tryto build utopias either revert to terrible totalitarianism in applying *their* vision of the good ("there's always a little Hitler in there somewhere" Hedley jokes) or have to make peace with reality's grubby little hands getting all over it. If I'm totally honest with myself, there's certainly an ugly eugenic impulse in my commune fantasy, because my imagined commune is made up only of other people of roughly my age and income and abilities. Most regular multigenerational households are more accurate reflections of society, where at least half of its members need much more than they can contribute (by virtue of being very young or very old, ill, disabled, unemployed etc.) One day I'm sure I'll be most of those things, but while I'm not, it feels like a wrench to compromise my lovely freedom with care work. My fantasy is of care equally distributed amongst equals, only, and that's monumentally selfish, I know, and I'll probably regret this attitude when I'm old myself. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/07/image-9.png) The Arcadian or Pastoral State, [Thomas Cole](https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=182982&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), 1834 Our fantasies are instructive. My therapist is always telling me it's worth paying attention to my fantasies, and be curious about them, even though it's seldom a good idea to try to act them out wholesale. What is the commune fantasy telling me? Probably just that I need to spend a little more time goofing with my friends, or at least not feeling guilty about it when I do. Less working with my mind and more working with my body. Perhaps that I need a little more hope. In his essay, Hedley says what drew him to the Buddhist centre was that he was feeling tired of the "safe, professional pessimism" of academia (of, I would argue, internet culture too) and was craving some exposure to "risky optimism". He quotes George Orwell, maybe the most famous *dys*topian of the twentieth century, who wondered whether it was wrong to take so much pleasure in vegetable gardening, his favourite pastime, when there were such big problems in the world. "To put it more precisely, is it politically reprehensible, while we are all groaning, or at any rate ought to be groaning, under the shackles of the capitalist system?" Hedley quotes. "If a man cannot enjoy the return of Spring, why should he be happy in a labour-saving Utopia?" We don't all need to move to a commune. I'm convinced you get 50% of the benefits of a commune just by living within "PJ distance" of people you love (a distance you'd feel comfortable walking over in your PJs). My partner and I nearly moved to a [Coliving community in Cambridge](https://www.marmaladelane.co.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) a few years ago, basically because we were so traumatised by moving to a new country during Covid. Instead, we made a map of where our friends live in London and moved to the richest concentration of dots, and now we live within walking distance of 10+ of our friends, and it's been bloody life-changing. When I'm entertaining the commune fantasy I like to browse [*Supernuclear*](https://supernuclear.substack.com/p/the-supernuclear-directory-9a9078a07258), a blog that interviews members of various communes/coliving situations/cults around the world (with an unfortunate overrepresentation of San Francisco techbros), but they also have some wonderful practical guides to just getting to know your neighbours better ([here](https://supernuclear.substack.com/p/stoop-coffee-how-a-simple-idea-transformed), and [here](https://supernuclear.substack.com/p/turning-neighborhoods-into-communities?utm%5Fsource=publication-search), also [here](https://prigoose.substack.com/p/how-to-live-near-your-friends)), which honestly gets you halfway there, plus you don't have to swap out all your clothes for linen sackcloths and dedicate your life to lentils. I also think big group projects give you a lot of this energy. There are few things that weave a group of friends together as well as collaborating on something fun and stupid over several weeks. I have *mixed* feelings (to say the least) about Afrikaburn, but some of the best memories of my twenties involve me and my friends building gloriously silly artworks in the desert. So, how do you bring a tiny morsel of commune energy into your life, friends? Why not invite your neighbours to a potluck, or start planning an elaborate Halloween party that requires your kith and kin to make a bunch of decorations together, or set up a property alert for rentals advertised on your street so you can share them with your friends when they become available, or phone an elderly relative, or grow a single marrow in a pot on your balcony? Far too many of us are [alone and lonely](https://aeon.co/essays/nyc-blue-what-the-pain-of-loneliness-tells-us?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and exhausted from working, and unable to afford our bills any more, and scared about global politics and the job market, and just too bloody tired to imagine that there might be small concrete ways we can make our lives better and our communities more resilient. But as Hedley quotes, from a piece of graffiti from 20th century South American anarchists: "Let's save pessimism for better times". Wishing you a warm hearth and vegetables the size of your head, Sam ## A few other lovely things - A deliciously dark novella you can read in an afternoon: [*Such Small Hands* by Andrés Barba](https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/such-small-hands-andres-barba/6dc046bb645ba8de?ean=9781846276750&bkshp-astro=t&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), it gets at something honest and strange about how children see the world. - On Catriona Silvey's recommendation I've just started reading [*There Is No Antimimetics Division*](https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/there-is-no-antimemetics-division-qntm/41b233a4ee742852?ean=9781529953176&bkshp-astro=t&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*,* which is a sci-fi novel about a government agency fighting a force that no-one can remember they're fighting, and holy shit you guys it's so twisty and clever and delicious. Highly recommend. - Loved the final season of *The Bear*. I'm a sucker for stories of people who find satisfaction in their work and I love the compressed timeline of this show. I thought this was a deeply profound ending, where someone recognises that their reasons for wanting something were always corrupt and maybe they'd be happier trying to do something else. Sometimes it's best to let go of a dream. That's a very wise thought I can't recall seeing expressed so well in another tv show. - I've been eating *so many* tomatoes, mostly in [Samin Nosrat's excellent tomato vinaigrette](https://www.foodandwine.com/tomato-basil-and-cucumber-panzanella-6418606?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - I've been battling a bit of a pain flare-up in my back that's made it difficult to focus. In addition to hardcore prescription NSAIDs (god bless the NHS) and daily stretches (I have the best physio, Londoners hit me up if you need a referral) I've been finding [Naomi Alderman's podcast series about chronic pain](https://naomialderman.substack.com/p/conversation-dr-benjamin-llis-senior-rheumatologiste) very helpful. - I became a BRITISH CITIZEN this week and I'm over the moon about it. And in the same week that [Count Binface became the person likely to defeat Nigel Farage](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Sjkf7a%5FvS9g?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), what a proud week to be British. > [ View this post on Instagram ](https://www.instagram.com/p/DaiVH%5F8iNBA/?utm%5Fsource=ig%5Fembed&utm%5Fcampaign=loading) > > [A post shared by Sam Beckbessinger (@sambeckbessinger)](https://www.instagram.com/p/DaiVH%5F8iNBA/?utm%5Fsource=ig%5Fembed&utm%5Fcampaign=loading) ### Pet Worms URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/pet-worms/ Last updated: 2026-07-03T12:46:47.000Z Hello loves! Did you have pet worms as a kid? I did. Every kid I knew had some. Well ... okay, they were technically caterpillars. Specifically, each of us had a shoebox full of *Bombyx mori*, the domesticated silkworm, which we fattened up on mulberry leaves until their creamy bodies grew plump and faintly tiger-striped, before weaving a silk cocoon and dissolving into goo. They smelled earthy, with a sour tang. We'd spend hours watching them rear on their sweet stubby hind legs and munch neat semicircles in the leaves, heads nodding round like ticking clocks, like industrious rotating lawnmowers. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/07/Silkworm_eats_a_reaf-2.gif) 8joKeaton, [CC BY-SA 4.0](https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) via Wikimedia Commons Keeping silkworms is such an essential phase of childhood in South Africa it was a massive surprise to learn this is not a global thing, as evidenced by the baffled looks on my British friends faces when I tell them about it. Australian kids do it too, I'm told. Probably because colonialism? Who knows. I have no idea where we all got the caterpillars from. I think they just spread school-to-school in that same mysterious way that kids learn the rules to What's the Time Mister Wolf/Statues/Red Light-Green Light, or marbles, or all the other ubiquitous codes of childhood. I remember that the week the caterpillars wove themselves into their cocoons was tinged with grief that their short lives were nearly over. The moths live only a few days, mating, laying hundreds of tiny pinhead eggs, then turning into stiff ashwhite crumbling corpses. Patient children then carefully moved the eggs somewhere cool and dry to wait for the next spring. We careless ones lost the shoebox somewhere in the mess of our rooms, until our mothers fished the reeking cardboard-and-rotting-vegetation mush out from under our beds and tossed it out, only for us to start afresh the next year, when we'd be a year older, a year more responsible, promising ourselves that *this time* we'd be more diligent about adding fresh mulberry leaves every day rather than leaving most of the worms to starve on the remains of brittle leaf skeletons and the bodies of their dead siblings – as I often, guiltily, did. My partner Matt was 100% a "conscientiously save the eggs over the winter" kid; I was a "toss the mess out and try again next year when I'll hopefully be a better person" kid, a dynamic that plays out in our approach to managing our shared household every day (and a good chunk of the reason I so adore him). Matt's dad loathed his silkworms – the stink of them, the daily trips round the suburbs of Johannesburg to forage fresh mulberry leaves – so one winter he quietly popped the shoebox full of eggs into the microwave for a few minutes to kill them. It took Matt ages to understand why his dad was suddenly so fascinated watching the hatching of that year's silkworms, perfectly unscathed. I've no bloody idea why every suburban South African kid was encouraged to keep a box of caterpillars in their room. A hands-on demonstration of the insect lifecycle? An affordable pastime? I think it was something else. I think the real point of it was to allow kids to practice taking responsibility for another creature's life in a low-stakes way. Cute as they are, silkworms are insects. Who cares if children forget to feed them, if they lose interest and forget the box in the depths of their cupboard, if they take turns daring each other to swallow the caterpillars live on the playground (there was always that one kid)? Insects can't suffer. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/07/image-1.png) Lifestages of the silkworm, [chromolithograph by H.J. Ruprecht, 1877.](https://wellcomecollection.org/works/wwwr4zk2/images?id=ww865fnj&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Except, actually, ample evidence suggests maybe they can. Scientists are learning new things every day about [the remarkable intelligence of insects](https://academic.oup.com/book/57949/chapter/475705076?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), that they can sleep, play, communicate, learn and remember. They can certainly get stressed, and it seems at least plausible that many species have a richer experience of painthan we'd like to believe. There's a lot of research happening in this field right now, because the most farmed animal in the world over the coming decade, by numbers, is likely to be an insect called the Black Soldier Fly, Hermetic *illucens.* They're already farmed by the trillions as food for the other animals humans eat, right now mostly fish and chickens. Food for our food. The industry don’t even call them flies. They’re known by their industrialised moniker: BSFL. Like an ingredient you’d find on the back of an energy bar, next to EDTA, MSG, B12, BHA, Polysorbate 20\. Erasing the reality of what they are: small animals. They are a creature perfectly adapted to this world we have built, this world of factory farms and abundant waste. Detrivores, they consume what’s dead, perfect little machines for turning waste into compost and protein. They are able to denature pesticides and pharmaceutical residues. They don’t bite or sting and their only defence is hiding. An adult female lays about 500 eggs at a time and they can grow to their full size in just fifteen days. When the squirming maggots are dried, they contain up to 50% protein. They don’t carry any diseases that infect humans or livestock. They have no interest in crawling over and vomiting on your food like houseflies. If only someone could only teach them to eat plastic, they’d be unstoppable. It’s one of the hottest, buzziest (haha) agritech industries. Currently, they’re only fed to other farmed animals, but there are already people working on getting the proteins approved as an ingredient in processed human food — who will care about a little BSFL in their protein shakes or chicken nuggets next to all the other weird acronyms on the label? They're quite handsome creatures, I think, dressed in the glossy metallic armour they're named for. There's a clever nipping at their waist, two transparent windows at their abdomen that give the visual illusion of a snatched waist so predators might mistake them for a wasp. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/07/1-1.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/07/3.jpg) The Black Soldier Fly and a model from ASDA employing the same waist-slimming strategy. Fly image by AfroBrazilian, [CC BY-SA 4.0](https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), via Wikimedia Commons It seems right that if we're going to farm these creatures in their trillions we should care at least a little if we're treating them kindly, so there are [research labs all around the world right now](https://www.insectwelfare.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) trying to understand how we can improve their welfare. I'm glad someone's doing this research, although I confess to feeling quite hopeless that any of it will be put into practice in a world where we slaughter about 4-million pigs every day, a creature I'm pretty convinced is smarter than my cat (in fairness, my cat's pretty thick, bless him). Like most people, I maintain a careful doublethink in my relationship with invertebrates. One of the first things I do every morning is walk around my tiny London garden picking snails off my plants and yeeting them into the neighbour's garden, where they're merrily crunched up by the fox kits that live under the shed. Nothing sets you at war against invertebrates more than a veggie patch. I do this though I claim to love animals, though immediately after murdering my nemeses the molluscs I sit on my sofa with my (stupid) cat and marvel at the intricate webs the spiders have built overnight, praising them for their clever weaving. None of us are perfect moral agents. None of us are able to live in the world without harming other sentient creatures. Christ, imagine if we tried to. We'd go nuts. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/07/image-2.png) This is literally a joke in the superb TV show *The Good Place*, where a man is so obsessed with being a perfect moral agent is wracked with guilt after he accidentally steps on a snail. He is not a man living a happy or flourishing life. Some people really do live like this, though. When I was thirteen I ran away from home and spent a week living in a Buddhist temple in Bronkhorstspruit. Okay, "ran away" is overstating things. My mum knew where I was – she just wasn't thrilled about it. She's Catholic, my mum, and even by puberty I'd already demonstrated a dangerous attraction to cults, having just come out of a phase of devotion to a pretty unhinged evangelical church where I saw visions and talked in tongues and nursed an intense crush on the dangerously charismatic youth group leader. I really think I was born to join a cult; I just have that kind of personality. Tragically there's nothing in this world hotter to me than a narcissist with poor grooming habits. I deeply long to wear a uniform and for someone else to tell me what to do with my day. I hate to sleep alone. I'm strongly susceptible to groupthink and I have a fondness for unbleached linen. Frankly the fact that by this point I've neither devoted my life to a cult nor joined the navy is a miracle. ANYWAY. So at thirteen, during the summer holidays, I told my mom I was staying at a friend's house for the week but instead we signed up for a silent retreat at a Buddhist temple. The friend's mom ratted us out to my mom almost immediately after dropping us off (fair) and my mom called and threatened to drive down and fetch me immediately, but ultimately told me I could stay as long as I promised not to come back having joined another CULT, and by the way I was in big trouble for lying to her, etc etc. I'm very grateful that she let me stay. It turned out to be one of the most impactful weeks of my life. I learned to meditate. I experienced a different framework for thinking about my experience of myself. The thing I remember most, though, is that we spent a lot of the time doing walking meditations, following a monk around the grounds in endless silent loops. The monk wore light sandals with socks, and spent the whole time watching his feet, walking slowly, being careful not to step on any insect. They told us that building the temple had taken ages because when they dug the foundations, they crouched down and sifted through the soil with their hands to remove every worm and insect they could. They understood that it was impossible to walk on this earth without harming other creatures at all. But they still believed that – as far as you can – it is worthwhile to try. I don't know how applicable this idea is to my life. Already, sometimes, it feels like the problems in the world are so many and so complex and so big and things are changing so impossibly fast that there are seven billion tragedies at every moment ... and such limited hope to go around, such limited ability to care about any of it. Except that maybe all of it's connected. Maybe the way we are wrong in our relationship with insects is way we are wrong about everything else on this beautiful breaking earth. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/07/image-5.png) Seven animals from Japan, including two frogs, a snail, a slug, a water-bug and a silver fish. [Wellcome Collection](https://wellcomecollection.org/works/ak23tpc7?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). I have a friend, Marcel, who survived the 1994 genocide in Rwanda when he was five years old. He lost his father, his two brothers, his sister, and 27 members of his extended family. He gave a speech in front of the UN in April this year, on the 32nd anniversary of the genocide. [It's an incredible speech, please watch it](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iU8DwD1mE2c&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). He talks about how the international community shares the responsibility for having failed to stop the genocide, and that "this was not a failure of knowing. It was a failure of acting." I've been thinking about Marcel a lot, recently, in a week where there's been yet another outbreak of violence directed at African migrants in South Africa. Pamphlets and social media posts warned that of a 30 June deadline to leave the country, saying, "you must go or the blood will flow". [Thousands of people fled their homes](https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/jun/30/they-will-attack-me-if-i-stay-immigrants-in-south-africa-flee-for-safety-amid-violence-and-anti-foreigner-protests?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), many now living in makeshift camps, more than 25,000 people fled the country, millions living in fear for their families. [Kiri Rupiah in **The Continent**](https://6555a27a-21bd-45eb-b287-1c28900211e3.filesusr.com/ugd/73a7e6%5Fa0466ec875984aa7bdf2371a2628a830.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) wrote a superb summary of how much this is all being driven by power struggles in the ANC elite, and the role of paid "protest brokers" in mobilising communities, but the seeds of hate are finding root in fertile soil. The first step towards genocide is dividing people into "us" and "them". The next step is to dehumanise "them". In the months leading up to the Rwandan genocide, local radio stations called Tutsis "cockroaches", just like the Nazis called Jews "vermin". Who cares about the suffering of insects. There are genocides happening right now. And I'm seeing the type of rhetoric that leads to genocides in South Africa, in the UK, in so many places. And I don't know what to do about this information. The plot of one of my favourite-ever sci-fi novels, **Ender's Game,** goes like this (sorry, spoilers for a 41-year-old novel I guess). A boy named Ender is so good at playing video games that he's recruited to a special military teen training school in space, where he's trained to defend the earth against alien invaders they call Buggers. The Buggers are, indeed, buglike, described as utterly inhuman and revolting. The final exam for war school is that the kids have to play a perfect simulation of a space battle against the Buggers, which – hey wouldn't ya know it – feels a lot like playing a video game. Ender resoundingly wins and defeats all the virtual enemies ... only to learn that it wasn't a simulation at all. He was directing a real human fleet that really wiped out an entire alien species. In a beautiful reversal, Ender later learns that the Buggers attacked us in the first place because they mistakenly thought human beings weren't sentient. "Hate speech is spreading faster than ever before," Marcel says in his UN speech. "In Rwanda in 1994 "hate radio" RTLM radio was just one \[station\], and there were a few other media houses. But today the same danger has multiplied through social media, digital platforms and artificial intelligence. Hate can reach millions in just seconds. Once again: should we watch, or should we act?" But how? How to act? The world is terrible and the world is beautiful and every step you take on the soil may kill some tiny creature beneath your clumsy human foot. Mostly what I'm thinking about at the moment is how we should just unplug the whole damn internet and go back to spending our days watching silkworms eat leaves. But I'm obviously not going to do that and neither are you. So, friends: what should we do? ## On a lighter note! Here are some things I've been enjoying while working on [*Mama*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/cuckoobird-live-writing-journal/)(a novel which, incidentally, heavily features Black Soldier Flies): - Melissa Albert's marvellous novel [*The Children*](https://www.theguardian.com/books/2026/jun/05/the-children-by-melissa-albert-review-intriguing-fairytale-of-creativitys-dangers?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), about the grown children of a famous children's book author, and the secrets they're keeping about their childhood. Gloriously dark. - This bonkers collection of weird online ... games? Digital artworks? [Neal Fun](https://neal.fun/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). My favourite is the one that lets you [design the new iPhone](https://neal.fun/design-the-next-iphone/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) but they're all incredible. - The fabulous [two-part series of the *Ologies* podcast about ADHD](https://www.alieward.com/ologies/adhd?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Many of my most beloved ones are neurodivergent and I found it incredibly helpful. - I also really liked [this episode of Trevor Noah's "What Now?" podcast](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHZmw3JhT48&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) where he contemplates why humans are so bad at being happy. - I've seen two great bits of theatre in London recently: [Archduke](https://royalcourttheatre.com/events/archduke/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) at the Royal Court, a black comedy about the boys who assassinated Franz Ferdinand and thereby kind-of started WWI (but not really; it would have happened anyway) – weirdly topical because teenage boys being groomed by weird old dudes into violence wasn't invented by the manosphere. And [Under the Shadow](https://almeida.co.uk/whats-on/under-the-shadow/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) at the Almeida, a stunning horror piece set in the Iran-Iraq war, a bit *Babadook* meets *Persepolis.* Both highly recommended. Wishing you the ability to resist getting seduced into a cult today! Sam ### Silly Hour! URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/silly-hour/ Last updated: 2026-06-11T13:03:41.000Z Hello loves! Last week I ran a workshop with some of the alumni from the Bath Spa University [MA in Writing for Young People](https://www.bathspa.ac.uk/courses/pg-writing-for-young-people/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) called SILLY HOUR. Here's what I promised: > Tap into your most creative and playful self with a series of writing games designed to liberate your inner chaos orangutang. Inspired by practices from Oulipo, improv and oblique strategies, we’ll be getting zany and finding ways to upend our habitual ways of thinking. If the writer’s having fun, the reader will have fun. It was great. My favourite game was "Bad First Lines", where I challenged everyone to write the *worst possible opening line* for a story they could think of. We threw them into a hat anonymously and read them out loud. The results were hilarious (I bloody wish I'd thought to record some of them). I then asked the students to pick a random terrible line and, making the smallest possible adjustment, turn it into a *great* line. Obviously I wanted to get my students laughing, but my hidden agenda for this game was to get them to stop worrying about writing something "bad". You can't play if you're afraid of failing. To play is to risk. Sometimes it's best to just get the failure out of the way from the beginning. Fail as huge and boldly as you can! Then all the fun can begin. I've been trying to channel SILLINESS into all of my work this week as I've worked on replotting my next novel *Mama* ([follow along with my live writing journal](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/cuckoobird-live-writing-journal/#8-june-2026) if you're interested in the micro day-to-day decisions of writing a novel). What are you working on right now that could do with [a good injection of play](https://stoney.sb.org/eno/oblique.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)? ## Bloomsbury Big Night In **Watcha doing tonight?** Why not come hang out with me and five other Bloomsbury authors on the internet (where occasionally, nice things still happen)! I'll be joined by: - Melissa Albert, author of *The Children* - Bal Khabra, author of *Embrace* - Louise Kennedy, author of *Stations* - Beth Brower, author of *Emma M. Lion* - Venetia Constantine, author of *The Last Starborn Seer* We'll be chatting about our books, playing games and doing giveaways. It's basically free, [just get your tickets here.](https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/bloomsbury-big-night-in-third-edition-tickets-1990104549279?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Bloomsbury Big Night In: Third Edition!You’re cordially invited to join us for a night of conversations with six incredible authors published by Bloomsbury Publishing!![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/favicon-194x194-24ac8e00-3926-47f4-b89f-ebc353da65da.png)Eventbrite![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/image-1c5a8a5a-b0bf-4909-a1f3-bd8b72cbe1fe)](https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/bloomsbury-big-night-in-third-edition-tickets-1990104549279?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## Pimsleur I'm planning to spend a good chunk of the summer in France again (it's very convenient when it's the neighbouring country) so I'm working on improving my French beyond, "Un autray pain du chocolate, silvy-play minsuurr." Luckily, language learning has improved dramatically from the semester of French I took at uni which involved an hour a week sitting in a dusty subterranean "language lab" with a walkman and airplane headphones. The best modern tool I've found is the app [Pimsleur](https://www.pimsleur.com/?srsltid=AfmBOopG0GLagaXX6-cAEbut5qS7-U9Scft27svGnO%5FUfSr9zOIaJUtd&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It's very focussed on getting you conversationalas quickly as possible, with far more focus on speaking/hearing than reading, which is just much more useful, PLUS there's no nightmare green cartoon owl that you fear might murder you in your sleep. I just wish they offered more African languages. Naomi Alderman had [some more great suggestions for practicing new languages ](https://naomialderman.substack.com/p/27-easy-and-fun-ways-to-learnpractice)on her excellent newsletter. ## That's Showbiz Baby! My friend Meg got me hooked on this album by JADE: [That's Showbiz Baby](https://open.spotify.com/album/4Q1Rf1xZ5OiQcCFnSAHdeE?si=G1Ehmqt5Qvysk1cK6fnsJw&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)! She's a bit Grimes meets Charlie XCX, I think I'd call the genre Dark Nightclub Pop? Anyway it slaps, give it a listen. ![The cover of Jade's album, That's Showbiz Baby](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/06/jade.jpeg) ## Widow's Bay Do you love both Stephen King and *Parks & Rec*? Drop everything and watch this incredible horror-comedy show on AppleTV about the mayor of a tiny New England island town who's trying to promote the island as a tourist destination ... except, whoops, it's also VERY haunted. My friend Dashe got me into it and it's one of my favourite shows of the year so far. A group of wacky lovable small-town public servants trying to battle a series of terrifying monsters AND also drag the town into the 21st century is just a very charming setup. ## Global Justice Report How can you work towards a better world if you have no vision for what that world might look like? [I've written before about how susceptible my brain is to doomerism](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-lost-golden-age-and-other-stories-we-live-inside/), how I instinctively interpret most news events as being the opening scenes of some *Hunger Games*\-Octavia Butler-*World War Z*\-Margaret Atwood-*Mad Max*\-*Last of Us* nightmare hell mashup scenario. I try to balance this tendency out by exposing it to more positive and hopeful visions of the future from time to time. This week, I spent a lot of time thinking through one vision for the future I find quite compelling: the [Global Justice Report](https://globaljusticeproject.wid.world/insight/summary/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), published by a group of researchers including Thomas Piketty and co-ordinated by the World Inequality Lab. Jonathan Watts describes it as Eco-Socialism (his [analysis in *The Guardian's*](https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2026/jun/04/happiness-is-not-just-about-gdp-ambitious-plan-or-utopia?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)a great place to start if you don't feel like reading 100 pages of macroeconomic models, [or here's the authors' own summary](https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/jun/04/a-good-life-for-the-99-isnt-a-pipe-dream-it-can-be-done-heres-how?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)). Essentially, they argue, 90% of the world's population could double their income but work half the hours we work today, while we also avoid the worst impacts of the climate emergency. They go into a lot of detail about how they believe this could be achieved through changes to global taxation frameworks, political coalitions and the creation of a Global Justice Fund. Your knee-jerk reaction to reading this vision might be, as I'll confess mine was, "eh sounds lovely but it will never never happen". But it's helpful to interrogate that reaction. I'm reminded of Frederic Jameson's quote, "it's easier to imagine the end of the world than to imagine the end of capitalism". The authors anticipate many of the most likely critiques (for instance, they include a model that argues most of their vision could be achieved even without the co-operation of the US and/or China). Even if it's not a perfect roadmap, it's a rallying point. And even if your idea of a utopia looks very different to this one, this is a well-articulated, evidenced and thoughtful proposition that's worth engaging with. I don't agree with 100% of it, as I didn't agree with 100% of Ezra Klein and Derek Thompson's book [*Abundance*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abundance%5F%28Klein%5Fand%5FThompson%5Fbook%29?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or – heck – 10% of Marc Andreessen's [*Techno-Optimist's Manifesto*](https://a16z.com/the-techno-optimist-manifesto/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), but this is exactly the kind of thing we need more of: hopeful and clearly articulated visions of futures we can build towards. [A good life for the 99% isn’t a pipe dream: it can be done. Here’s howOur plan is radical – but by transforming how we live on a finite planet, nearly everyone gains, says Thomas Piketty and researchers from the World Inequality Lab![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/apple-touch-icon-512-58611d0e-68f4-4655-8a30-a7958572b341.png)The GuardianThomas Piketty and Lucas Chancel and Cornelia Mohren and Rowaida Moshrif and Moritz Odersky and Anmol Somanchi![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/2150-e976eed5-bf8a-4708-815b-ed62168bbecc.jpg)](https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/jun/04/a-good-life-for-the-99-isnt-a-pipe-dream-it-can-be-done-heres-how?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Wishing you SILLINESS and hope, Sam ### Obstinate columns URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/obstinate-columns/ Last updated: 2026-06-05T14:24:05.000Z Hello loves! I'm just back from a little therapist-mandated holiday in Turkey, feeling far more like myself again after hiking some of the [Lycian Way](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lycian%5FWay?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), eating my way around Fethiye, exploring [ancient ruins](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tomb%5Fof%5FAmyntas?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and a [ghost village](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kayak%C3%B6y?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and spending many hours lying on beach loungers working my way through several excellent novels (OF COURSE I'm going to tell you about my faves). Like the 2,500 year-old tomb of Amyntas pictured above, the columns of my self feel like they've had a damn battering, yet those stubborn bastards still stand. I'm thrilled to be back in a decidedly summery-feeling London, thrilled to be through the book launch chaos, and *thrilled* to be diving back into my next novel *Mama* (née *Cuckoobird*). On that note, I need to pick your brains! *Mama*'s a novel exploring the alternative lives of having/not-having children. So if you feel like sharing something with me, I'd love to hear from you about how you've thought/felt about this choice in your own life. Have other people made you feel judged about your decision (either way)? If you don't want kids, what are your biggest fears and hopes for this choice? If you've had kids, what are the most unexpected ways its impacted your identity and your life? If you aren't sure, what do you feel would tip your decision? If you wanted to but haven't been able to, or if you felt one way and then changed your mind, I want to hear about that too. Oh, and I'm also after anecdotes of fiveish year olds being WEIRD LITTLE GUYS, if you don't mind me cribbing anecdotes about your kids for a horror novel... Just hit reply! I'd love to hear from you. Thank yoooou! <3 ## Springtime reading glut 2026 has been a BUMPER year for excellent novels. Some recent faves: - [*Yesteryear*](https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/yesteryear-caro-claire-burke/7873903?ean=9780008742768&next=t&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)by Caro Claire Burke, about a tradwife Instagram influencer who finds herself transported to the actual 1850s. Yes it's worth all the hype. Beyond the very topical "wtf is up with America??" of it all, it had profound things to say about the performances we make of ourselves online, and what it is to feel like you can no longer tell the difference between the mask you wear and the person wearing it. It's a stunning character study, well-plotted, pacey, delicious. - [*Famesick*](https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/famesick-lena-dunham/8406dc4ce797649f?ean=9780008384210&next=t&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Lena Dunham. Also worth the hype. *Girls* came out when I was about the same age as its heroines and I always felt incredibly seen by that show, and baffled by the ceaseless vitriol directed at Dunham, which felt like it was aimed at all mouthy women who got a bit too big for our britches. It's been cathartic to see Dunham reclaiming the narrative. I felt so angry on her behalf reading about what she went through. And it's a great reminder of the fact that she's always just been such a damn brilliant essayist, because she's willing to be so honest about the ugliest parts of herself. - [*Wimmy Road Boyz*](https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/wimmy-road-boyz-sufiyaan-salam/e89bd018fb449743?ean=9781529952643&next=t&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)by Sufiyaan Salam. To crib Hannah Horvath, I truly think Salam is the voice of his generation; or at least *a* voice, of *a* generation. It's a novel about three boys careening through a single night out on Manchester's Curry Mile, written in language that feels utterly fresh, true, new. An astonishing debut. - [*Keeping the House*](https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/keeping-the-house-tice-cin/6290784?ean=9781913505080&next=t&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Tice Cin, a breathtaking literary adventure about three women caught up in the North London heroin trade. Cin's a multidisciplinary artist and [released a mixtape along with the novel](https://ticecin.bandcamp.com/album/keeping-the-house-mixtape?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and is pretty much the coolest person I've ever met (at Sufiyaan's launch party, where else). - [*Angel Down*](https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/angel-down-winner-of-the-2026-pulitzer-prize-for-fiction-daniel-kraus/98adc539607cb974?ean=9781835415382&next=t&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)by Daniel Kraus, which just very deservedly won the Pulitzer Prize ([here's Rebecca Makkai spilling the delicious beans about the judging process](https://rebeccamakkai.substack.com/p/book-prizes-dont-work-how-you-think)), about a World War I soldier who finds a fallen angel on the battlefield. The whole novel's written in one breathless sentence, utterly stunning and original (but, warning, you need a strong stomach for the gore). - [*The White North Has They Bones*](https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/the-white-north-has-thy-bones-dorian-ravenscroft/d33ca23946066adb?ean=9781526697806&next=t&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)by Dorian Ravenscroft. Look, you know [I'm a sucker for polar horror](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/five-october-things/), ESPECIALLY if it's gay as hell, so this book was basically written for me. It's got 1850s mediums! It's got ghosts-or-maybe-just-your-own-guilty-conscience! It's got queer yearning! It's got cannibalism in the arctic circle! Fellow fans of Ally Wilkes and Dan Simmons, order this immediately. - [*Askari*](https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/askari-a-story-of-collaboration-and-betrayal-in-the-anti-apartheid-struggle-jacob-dlamimi/1613140?ean=9781849045605&next=t&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Jacob Dlamini. This book is a decade old but I'd never read it, and it's brilliant. It's the true story of 'Comrade September', an ANC freedom-fighter turned Apartheid collaborator in the late 1980s. It's a complicated, complicating portrait of a complicated man trying to survive an ugly time in South Africa's history, and it posed questions I haven't been able to stop thinking about. - [*One Yellow Eye*](https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/one-yellow-eye-leigh-radford/7698179?ean=9781035048298&next=t&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Leigh Radford. A hilarious but surprisingly heartfelt story about a woman whose husband was the last person bitten in a zombie outbreak that's now over. He's tied to the bed in her spare room while she tries to keep his existence a secret and find a cure, even though all the world wants to do is move on. It felt like a pretty profound pandemic novel in code (and, did I mention, it's really funny). And yes I'm still obsessed with [*Dungeon Crawler Carl*](https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/dungeon-crawler-carl-matt-dinniman/4ecf3f3b6dc9a0b8?ean=9780241816264&next=t&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)but I'm trying to ration myself before I lose all my friends by not being able to talk about anything else. ## I've no more fucks to give Look I just think some of you [need this song today](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vqbk9cDX0l0&list=RDVqbk9cDX0l0&start%5Fradio=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ## Book Off! I had absolutely THE MOST FUN on the *Book Off!* podcast with Joe Haddow and fellow novelist Fran Fabriczki, pitting my favourite book in a BATTLE TO THE DEATH against Fran's. Fran's debut novel [*Porcupines*](https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/porcupines-fran-fabriczki/7927039?ean=9780241741672&next=t&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)is fab, it's a hilarious story about mothers and daughters and Cold War secrets in a LA motel, think *Little Miss Sunshine* meets *The Americans*. Fran makes a strong case for her favourite book [*The Book Of George*](https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/the-book-of-george-shortlisted-for-the-bollinger-everyman-wodehouse-prize-for-comic-fiction-kate-greathead/d6ccaf216a968c6c?ean=9781805463276&next=t&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Kate Greathead (it's at the top of my towering reading-pile) but I mounted a passionate defence for my all-time fave (listen to find out what it is). [Listen to the podcast](https://open.spotify.com/show/7eyzYtNqiuBkYrWmZR1Ij2?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/06/Screenshot-2026-06-04-at-15.17.19.png) Fran Fabriczki, Joe Haddow and me, having a BATTLE OF BOOKS! ## The Big Idea [I wrote a short piece for John Scalzi's blog discussing where the idea for *Femme Feral* came from:](https://whatever.scalzi.com/2026/05/13/the-big-idea-sam-beckbessinger/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) > *I had a blast taking a wild premise and then trying to work through the consequences very seriously. If you could rip someone’s head off, whose head would tempt you first? What would an NHS GP say if you told him that once a month you find yourself naked and covered in blood on the other side of town with no memory of how you got there? And the question that probably vexed me more than any other (and John Landis never had to deal with): how the heck is this beast roaming all around modern London without being spotted by CCTV?* [The Big Idea: Sam BeckbessingerWe’ve all got a beast inside us, waiting to be unleashed. For some, they never hold it back. For others, they keep it caged until it can be repressed no longer. Enter author Sam Beckbessinger…![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/cropped-whateverfavicon-ed32bfcb-ddf4-40ff-8ca7-b966964eb2ba.jpg)WhateverAthena Scalzi![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/55267450167_e8c6e08c7f_c-b33af6f0-181d-41e8-ae69-2096ef530d9c.jpg)](https://whatever.scalzi.com/2026/05/13/the-big-idea-sam-beckbessinger/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## Surf Sangoma If you have a Disney+ subscription, PLEASE watch Kizazi Moto's "Surf Sangoma" short film as part of the *Generation Fire* anthology, a wildly inventive cyberpunk surfing story set in a future Durban. I so badly want it to be picked up and turned into a video game. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/06/surf.webp) A still from Surf Sangoma ## I'm Nobody! Who are you? Having just survived a period of publicity, feeling hyper-exposed and having to spend far more time than I'd like on Instagram (i.e. any at all), I've been loving this little Emily Dickinson poem: I’m Nobody! Who are you? Are you – Nobody – too? Then there’s a pair of us! Don’t tell! they’d advertise – you know! How dreary – to be – Somebody! How public – like a Frog – To tell one’s name – the livelong June – To an admiring Bog! ## I'm very happy to be diving back into the cool of the bogwater, this week, with the silent minnows and mudfish, to busy myself with building fantasy worlds in the muck. Please send me emails about your feelings about not-having/having kids! You can address them c/o Brown Catfish, Underneath Plant-Clump, Bog. Wishing resilience to your columns and good mud for your bog-burrows! Love Sam ### A brief history of the female werewolf URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/a-brief-history-of-the-female-werewolf/ Last updated: 2026-05-19T12:29:51.000Z Hello loves! I feel like I have spent the last month surfing a tsunami, but land is in sight. This weekend I'm heading to MCM London Comic Con ([catch me on Saturday talking about Horror & the Art of Suspense](https://www.mcmcomiccon.com/london/en-us/schedule/panels-information.html?gtID=933732&panel-name=Horror-and-amp-Thriller-Writing-and-the-Art-of-Suspense&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and wearing Dungeon Crawler Carl cosplay) and that's the last of the big *Femme Feral* launch publicity things for a while. I am exhausted but damn, it's been a goddamn pleasure getting to have so many conversations with people about my weird book baby. I've been writing a bunch of stuff for various other places that are not this newsletter. So allow me to direct you to where you can hear my thoughts about... ## A brief history of the female werewolf "For most of the past century, the werewolf has been one of the most stubbornly male-coded monsters. If vampire films were often exploring cultural anxieties around deviant sexuality and aristocratic decadence, werewolf stories were typically exploring the masculine fear of one’s own violence... To modern eyes, a female werewolf feels like a twist of the norm. But really, the older subversive strain has always been there, living in parallel, probing questions about women’s bodies and women’s violence, about the traits in women that we find monstrous, about the forms of power that can be claimed by women who refuse to be cowed when the fingers point at us and call us a she-wolf or a witch." Despite the name, this is a rather thorough (sorry lol) essay about the literary history of the female werewolf, how it connects to early modern witch trials, and the Omegaverse. [**Read the rest on CrimeReads**](https://crimereads.com/sam-beckbessinger-a-brief-history-of-the-female-werewolf/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Sam Beckbessinger: A Brief History of the Female WerewolfWhen I was a kid, my mum had a collection of old medical textbooks. In the days before the internet, if you were a hypochondriac and wanted ideas for obscure medical maladies to stress about, you h…![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/mstile-310x310-1d7881e998a91ff7d233b75f642956092f04042747ba1a5daa8b82f4cc39d4e0.png)CrimeReadsSam Beckbessinger![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/femme-feral-feat-1261fc67d122648ec8d51319f654b9bbc91b97b3dd7d27a4a83546f76f8a4119.jpg)](https://crimereads.com/sam-beckbessinger-a-brief-history-of-the-female-werewolf/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## 13 songs that inspired *Femme Feral* "I’ve always used music as a crowbar to access emotions that I usually hide from myself. As a teenager, I remember lying in the bathtub and listening to Radiohead while dribbling water down my cheeks pretending I was crying. When I was writing *Femme Feral*, I listened to a lot of furious music, mostly ’90s Riot Grrrl, while walking for hours around London." One of my favourite briefs so far, where I got to write about 13 songs that inspired the novel. I had so much fun ranting about Fiona Apple, Björk and Dolly Parton. [**Read the rest on Largehearted Boy**](https://largeheartedboy.com/2026/05/12/sam-beckbessingers-book-notes-music-playlist-for-her-novel-femme-feral/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Sam Beckbessinger’s Book Notes music playlist for her novel Femme Feral – Largehearted Boy![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/favicon-9deb629637088856fe61dc868bf40a7d21ed942e4117659f3d6c3408f59b906b.ico)Skip to the content![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/Femme-Feral-by-Sam-Beckbessinger-28547d2c5543e96d0642e91810a748ad2a0e2aaa5beda7f35aada1ba0c706bb9.jpg)](https://largeheartedboy.com/2026/05/12/sam-beckbessingers-book-notes-music-playlist-for-her-novel-femme-feral/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## How I slowly crabwalked into writing novels "I always wanted to write novels but I didn’t think I had the skills, so I tried basically everything else first ... And I guess, finally, there was nothing else to do except to do the thing I’d always wanted to do ... I think I’d built up the idea of being an “Author” into this big thing, a thing only the greatest and most special people in the world could be, an unachievable goal. But I love writing. So now I just think of myself as a writer, because it’s more of a verb than a noun. I’m a writer every day that I write. I now have this weird career full of cobbled-together ways of making a living from writing words, and every day I get to do that feels like the luckiest day of my life. I’m going to keep trying to get away with it until someone makes me stop." A delightful Q&A featuring nerdy questions like the first book I can remember falling in love with, the difficult moments in writing *Femme Feral*, and the best books I've read this year so far. [**Read the rest on The Nerd Daily**](https://thenerddaily.com/sam-beckbessinger-femme-feral-author-interview/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Q&A: Sam Beckbessinger, Author of ‘Femme Feral’ | The Nerd DailyWe chat with author Sam Beckbessinger about Femme Feral, which is a deeply gratifying, highly addictive and provocative read, Femme Feral is an exhilarating expression of feminine rage, with a warning: If you swallow your anger, it’s sure to come back with a bite.![](https://static.ghost.org/v5.0.0/images/link-icon.svg)The Nerd DailyElise Dumpleton![](https://i0.wp.com/thenerddaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/Sam-Beckbessinger-Femme-Feral-Author-Interview.jpg?fit=1000%2C742&ssl=1)](https://thenerddaily.com/sam-beckbessinger-femme-feral-author-interview/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## Why midlife women are reading more horror "Growing up, women’s rage was invisible to me. Fury was an unacceptable emotion for women. The version of (white) feminism I was handed was Girlboss feminism. We were Hermione-pilled: groomed to be obedient, compliant, praise-hungry, convinced that if we could just be good enough we could have everything. In the controlled environments of school it worked, until we were booted into the real world in a midst of a recession, discovered that the glass ceiling is cracked but still very much intact, crashed into the realities of the unequal mental load and childrearing and caring for our parents and the missing social safety nets and most of us just found ourselves exhausted. Our compliance and our striving has bought us so little. There’s a reason so many Millennial women tattoo Mary Olivier’s “you do not have to be good” on our ribs: we need the bloody reminder." Thoughts on the "femmegore" subgenre and why it's especially resonant for women in midlife. [**Read the rest on The Shift with Sam Baker**](https://theshiftwithsambaker.substack.com/p/why-midlife-women-are-turning-to) [Why midlife women are turning to horrorFemgore, rage lit and unrepentant women: female rage is on the rise in fiction for a reason![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/https-3A-2F-2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com-2Fpublic-2Fimages-2F812313ad-de25-4d41-ae73-89a0de04c94c-2Fapple-touch-icon-180x180-1a95f7417e00be127817bb36dc174606ee55c5dad948863f3cb7e193413c296b.png)The Shift With Sam Bakersam baker and Sam Beckbessinger![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/https-3A-2F-2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com-2Fpublic-2Fimages-2Fd1490db0-152c-454f-8bc6-f81cf638395c_1920x1080-8fceafc05ed13798733d259e64a244baea8d7430d3cdd5e11b42a22d86f24b50.webp)](https://theshiftwithsambaker.substack.com/p/why-midlife-women-are-turning-to) ## My bananas writing process "I think I might be the only novelist to use spreadsheets as much as any writing software ... I have a naturally chaotic mind, so a lot of my process is about trying to bring order and structure to this absolute tangle of thoughts in my brain. For this book, I had a really ridiculous colour-coded spreadsheet that had about 50 different tabs in it by the end, tracking every single beat in the story." Sadly this one's not online, but South Africans, there's a marvellous multi-page feature in the May-June issue of *Fairlady*. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/05/image.png) ## What else have I been up to? Amongst all this launch chaos, I've been running my final creative writing workshops for the trimester at Bath Spa University, getting involved in launching a new fintech startup (y am I like this), planning a trip to South Africa in October-November to launch of the *Manage Your Money* update, I ran my second-ever half-marathon, and wrote another draft of the *Marmalade is Missing* film script (it's feeling fun!). When I tell you I am tired, friends, I am TIRED. I'm buggering off to a beach next week where I intend to do as little as possible, hopefully eat snacks and read books, maybe treat myself to a tiny breakdown, who knows! Then ONWARDS into the summer, where [the next novel's waiting for me](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/cuckoobird-live-writing-journal/). Wishing you Mary Oliver tattoos and femmegore, Sam ### Launch storm URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/launch-storm/ Last updated: 2026-04-26T06:05:54.000Z Hello loves, What a delicate chaos the past few weeks have been. *Femme Feral* is now available in the [UK](https://www.bloomsbury.com/uk/femme-feral-9781526687876/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Australia](https://www.bloomsbury.com/au/femme-feral-9781526687883/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [***and in South Africa***](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/femme-feral-south-africa/)(yup, you heard me right!!). It will be out in the US on 12 May (the US books look STUNNING, with cover artwork by the incredible [Andreea Dumuta](https://www.instagram.com/galactixy%5Fillustrations/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)). I've been bouncing between interviews and bookshop signings and snatching little pockets of time to write essays about perimenopause and female rage. It's been a lot! I am a very overwhelmed little lamb! This part – the publicity and the exposure of launching a book – isn't my favourite part of my job. I feel as though I've been flayed of my skin and am standing in the town square while strangers critique my internal organs. Honestly, I'm mostly looking forward to getting through it so I can get back to what matters: the writing. But, look, a lot of it's been a silly amount of fun. For instance, we had a launch party at the glorious [Vagina Museum](https://vaginamuseumshop.co.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and it was wonderful. I wish I could have invited every single one of you and teleported you all to Bethnal Green – ALAS for the restraints of space and time. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/04/launch1.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/04/launch2.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/04/launch3.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/04/WhatsApp-Image-2026-04-15-at-09.46.17--1-.jpeg) My wonderful editor at Bloomsbury Sam Bradbury (the better Sam B) made a speech and then I thanked a lot of people (you can [watch a shaky phone-recording here](https://youtu.be/nPmOPoXJLfw?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) if you're so inclined). Then we [jammed to some of my favourite tunes about unhinged fury](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/a-femme-feral-playlist/) into the were hours. The book's had some overwhelmingly lovely reviews, for instance, in [*The Observer*](https://observer.co.uk/culture/books/article/femme-feral-is-a-sly-werewolf-horror-about-the-menopause?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [](https://cinemachords.com/sam-beckbessinger-femme-feral-interview/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)[*RED Magazine*](https://www.redonline.co.uk/entertainment/book-reviews/g28256073/best-books/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*,* and *The Sunday Times.*I've had some rich chats about the book, including with my buddy [Mich Atagana](https://globemich.substack.com/p/on-rage-repression-and-the-wildness) and with Howard Gorman from [*Cinemachords*](https://cinemachords.com/sam-beckbessinger-femme-feral-interview/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). I also wrote a guest column for yet another excellent Sam B, [Sam Baker](https://theshiftwithsambaker.substack.com/p/why-midlife-women-are-turning-to), on why femmegore is the perfect antidote to midlife Millennial burnout. > Horror allows you to talk in the language of metaphor and it’s built on our most primal emotions, so it felt like the perfect genre to explore these questions. It’s also just the genre my mind thinks in by default. I wish my brain felt more like a Cosy Romance Novel but I guess we are who we are. (From my [interview with Mich Atagana](https://globemich.substack.com/p/on-rage-repression-and-the-wildness)) But the *very best thing* is that my friends are finally reading the book and telling me about the bits that have made them laugh. Nothing makes me happier. I'm anticipating another three busy weeks ramping up to the US launch, at which point I'm going to try to TAKE A DAMN HOLIDAY before diving back into the next novel, which I can hear calling my name. **Some other things that have been bringing me joy amongst the storm:** - Yes, I'm still working through the [*Dungeon Crawler Carl*](https://www.goodreads.com/series/309211-dungeon-crawler-carl?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) series. Yes, the obsession deepens. I am now working on a Carl cosplay for [MCM Comic Con](https://www.instagram.com/p/DWbI7fsCMfN/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - [Bongeziwe Mabandla](https://bongeziwe.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) has just released a new album called Ndingubani. I saw him perform this week (for the third time!) and am happy to report that he remains as magnetic and sensitive a presence as always. The new album's a gift from the angels. - I took a [foraging course](https://www.foragelondon.co.uk/foraging-walks-courses/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) at my local cemetery and am now obsessed with hunting the three-cornered leek, which is both invasive and delicious. - Also obsessed with this hilarious song about cunnilingus from 1986, Marvin Sease's ["Candy Licker"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hifeyeH5hSs&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Other songs from that album are called "I'm Sinkin' Down" and "I Gotta Clean Up" ... truly this is a man who has found his calling. - Capetonians who are not going to Afrikaburn this year, please may I comfort you with this classic piece my friend Matt Barge wrote, ["I Did Not Go to Afrikaburn, a Survivor's Tale"](https://medium.com/@matthewbarge/humi-did-not-go-to-afrikaburn-a-survivors-tale-3ed0d5604ab8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) If you're reading *Femme Feral* right now (THANK YOU), please tell me which bits are making you laugh! Wishing you enthusiastic lovers and local edible plants, Sam ### A Femme Feral playlist URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/a-femme-feral-playlist/ Last updated: 2026-04-09T06:35:15.000Z **IT'S TODAY! FEMME FERAL IS ON BOOKSHELVES IN THE UK TODAY!** To celebrate, [here's are some songs that inspired the novel](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6qqBP0WiyNsexOJDKMaTZL?si=qFkdvUsORHeOCCy2ikbpXg&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It's a useful playlist for when you need to channel some unhinged fury/eviscerate people. I myself shall be listening to it on full volume while wandering around London signing books today. If you see me, come say hello! I'll be at West End Books (not Queen’s Park!) around noon, and Waterstones Walthamstow (the neighbourhood where a lot of the book is set) at 3:15. [Buy Femme Feral](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/femme-feral/) I'd like to share an extract of the author's note that closes the book. [*Midway through the journey of my life, I found myself within a dark forest, for the straightforward path had been lost*](https://poets.org/poem/inferno-canto-i?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*. Until that point I had been a chronic overfunctioner, hyperactively taking care of everyone and everything around me. It had been an effective lifelong strategy: when I was a child, adults complimented me by saying I was‘three going on thirty-three’. I was very good, very productive, very nice, very competent. I truly believed that I did not ever feel angry.* *One day, as I approached forty, all these carefully cultivated coping mechanisms failed. I had a quite exciting breakdown. I finally understood that underneath all my spreadsheets and my smiles and my lists lay something old, and festering, and furious.* *This novel came roaring out of that place.* *The core joke of this novel is that the medical industry knows about as much about perimenopause as it knows about lycanthropy. This is changing, but far too slowly, and there’s a lot of catching up to do. In the United States, the National Institutes of Health didn’t require research trials to include women until 1993\. Even now, menopausal women are often excluded from clinical trials because researchers worry that our hormones make things too complicated. Men, of course, do not have hormones.* *This book is a love letter to all the brilliant women in my life I’ve watched get passed over, get dismissed, get talked over, get misbelieved, get burnt out by the mental load, get attacked, get abused, and then get treated like they should be fucking grateful for it. It’s a howl in solidarity for those of us who’ve held it together for too long.* *All you angry menopausal bitches out there, this book is for you.* Wishing you all healthy outlets for your rage, Sam ### Femme Feral UK launch week! URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/femme-feral-uk-launch-week/ Last updated: 2026-04-08T08:09:58.000Z Hello loves! British friends, *Femme Feral* should be in bookshops **this Thursday**!!! I'm a bundle of raw nerves. It is a very vulnerable act to make a piece of art and then put it out into the word. I'm ecstatic/terrified/VERY STRESSED. ![Nervous system engraving](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/04/nervous.jpg) [A 1686 engraving of the nervous system](https://wellcomecollection.org/works/rauwh28r/images?id=dtcq7wx7&ref=sambeckbessinger.com); also a perfect illustration of how I feel right now. South Africa and the US, your wait is just a little longer **until May.** The next few weeks are going to be a blur of interviews and media appearances and all the parts of my job I like the least. I'm trying to find pockets of joy and connection where I can, and holding onto the part I feel only the purest happiness about: that *you are finally going to get to read this thing* I've poured my deepest love into for several years. Many very kind readers have been asking how they can help with the launch (I'm so, so grateful). [Here are all the ways you can help](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-can-i-help/), including free things like adding the book on Goodreads. But the very most helpful thing you can do is to **pre-order the book**. [Pre-order Femme Feral](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/femme-feral/) ## A visit to the book house One of the purest pockets of joy so far was that I got to visit the Grand House of Bookleyness Where All The Books Live, AKA my publisher Bloomsbury's UK distribution warehouse. It's where the books are stored once they're printed and bound, before they're sent off to bookshops all around the world. If both machines and books make you slightly unhinged with excitement (i.e. me), it's paradise. ![Photograph of a warehouse](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/04/warehouse.jpg) Towers of books five stories high! Forklifts! Spiral-shaped conveyer belts! Little red robots that zip up and down to fetch book boxes! When I die you can bury me in this warehouse. I signed 2,000 copies of the [special hardback edition](https://femmeferal.cmpgn.page/rXJ5D0?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) with sprayed edges. If you're wondering, this took me about three hours of the most hardcore physical labour a writing career has thus far required of me. 0:00 /0:30 1× **200,000 books leave this warehouse every single day**, so maybe the reading crisis is a *little* overstated and my whole career isn't doomed just yet. Right now, these 2,000 copies of *Femme Feral* are on their way to bookshops all around the world (South Africa, [some of them are bound for you](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/femme-feral-south-africa/)). ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/04/pile1.jpg) This is what a pile of 2,000 books looks like. A book is a collection of words that came out of my brain, but it's also a marvellous physical object, an enduring and wonderful technology. I love that even today, when most of the words we read every day are created by pixels on a screen, it's still so meaningful to so many people to own a book that has been touched by the hand of its author. For the few brief moments that I scrawled my name across each page, I tried to think about its reader (you!), feeling grateful for the connection a book allows me to have with total strangers, each time trying to pour into the scrawl the thought: *here, I made this gift for you.* ## Queens Park Books signing One of the best places to buy one of those delicious signed special edition hardbacks is at wonderful indie [Queens Park Books](https://www.welbooks.co.uk/shop/p/femme-feral-by-sam-beckbessinger-signed?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). I will be popping in this Thursday (9 April) around noon if you want to come and get your book especially dedicated to you, on launch day. ## MCM Comic Con Fellow nerds, I'm delighted to say that I'm appearing at [MCM Comic Con](https://www.mcmcomiccon.com/london/en-us/guests.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) this May. I shall also be trying not to get evicted for stalking Nathan Fillion. [Tickets here.](https://www.mcmcomiccon.com/london/en-us/tickets.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## Observer Live Event Londoners, there are still some spots at the [Observer Debut Novelists of 2026 live event](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/autumnal-treats/) on 15 April. It's going to be one of the most joyful pockets of joy! [![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/03/TheObserver_Novelists5.jpg)](https://observer.co.uk/our-events/the-observers-debut-novelists-of-2026?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## Lovely things Little things that have been keeping me sane amongst the stress: - Going for runs and listening to the bonkers fun [*Dungeon Crawler Carl*](https://mattdinniman.com/books/dungeon-crawler-carl/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) series (I just started book 3\. Donut is Queen!). - Gorging memes relating to the Artemis II moon mission and [*Project Hail Mary*.](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt12042730/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - Bingeing the TV show [*The Pitt*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-i-make-money-writing/)(it's so good, oh my god). - Reading short stories because my brain can't cope with full novels right now. Highlights have been Kate Folk's hilarious riff on dating AIs ["Out There"](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2020/03/23/out-there?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and Eliza Clark's deliciously twisted mermaid story ["She's Always Hungry"](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/201033505-she-s-always-hungry?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - Looking at art with my friends. The [Nigerian Modernism](https://www.tate.org.uk/whats-on/tate-modern/nigerian-modernism?utm%5Fsource=google&utm%5Fmedium=performance%5Fmax&utm%5Fcampaign=CAMP%5Fnigerian-modernism%5Fconversion&gad%5Fsource=1&gad%5Fcampaignid=22998934758&gbraid=0AAAAA9TfA%5FuNTMT4KOuFWxfznA7Ruj8Hl&gclid=CjwKCAjw1tLOBhAMEiwAiPkRHsz0Hfn4vuXbYr54Ph4GXGIPjCFQeDxpZwm5BoZ3O352PXcOnSyg8RoCfU8QAvD%5FBwE) exhibition at the Tate Mod is unmissable and on for a few more weeks. - [Knitting my first jumper.](https://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/step-by-step-sweater?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) If you see me out in the world during the next few weeks, I AM NOT OKAY, PLEASE FEED ME SNACKS AND GIVE ME A HUG. Wishing you all book robots! Sam ### How I make money writing URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-i-make-money-writing/ Last updated: 2026-03-20T09:05:08.000Z Hello loves! **Three weeks to go** until [*Femme Feral*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/femme-feral/)launches in the UK, EEEE! South Africans, I have good news and I have bad news. Good news, I now have [several pre-order links](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/femme-feral-south-africa/) for you. I've also confirmed that you will be able to get the gorgeous sprayed-edges special edition hardback version. Bad news ... it's going to take **until late May** for those books to be on your shelves, not April as I'd hoped. I'm so sorry! I hope it will be worth the wait <3 [Pre-order Femme Feral](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/femme-feral/) [![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/03/FF-email.png)](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/femme-feral/) --- ## How I make money writing I was recently interviewed by Hao Nguyen for his brilliant newsletter, [*How I Make Money Writing*](https://howimakemoneywriting.substack.com/p/interview-125-how-sam-beckbessinger) \- a topic that is aligned with several of my interests, I'm sure you'll agree. Hao has generously offered all of you [a complimentary 30-day guest pass](https://howimakemoneywriting.substack.com/guestpass) so you can read the whole interview (and all of the 100+ interviews on the site). I hope if the topic interests you and you'd like to support the good work Hao's doing lifting the taboo on talking about money in the arts, some of you will consider subscribing to his Substack. It's really good. ### Sam, your career spans screenwriting, non-fiction, novels, and academia. How does the financial pie chart look today, and does one of those pillars, like the TV work or the teaching, subsidize the others? I think of it less like a pie chart and more like an investment portfolio, except I’m both the anxious client and the somewhat delulu fund manager. Some of my projects are high-risk and high-reward, like venture capital investments in a speculative start-up. That’s when I’m developing my original ideas, whether as novels or TV shows or whatever. I’m building IP (intellectual property) rather than selling my time. Then there’s the part of my career that’s like an index fund or the bond market. Low risk, reliable, but also far less lucrative. Teaching’s in this category, as are all my freelance writing gigs where I’m writing for IP someone else owns (for me, that’s mostly TV writing). It’s not really that one category subsidises the other, it’s that the reliable income lets me stay in the game long enough to keep making the big bets. Last year one of my big bets actually hit, so the split that year was something like 90% high-risk, 10% reliable. But this year it’s going to be 100% reliable income, and I’m going to make far less overall. That’s fine; I plan my career expecting that I might only have a few big bets pay off across my lifetime. ### You literally wrote the book on personal finance with *Manage Your Money Like a Fucking Grownup*. How do you apply your own advice about stability and savings to the notoriously unstable, feast or famine reality of a full-time writing career? Look, the irony of writing a book about money and then entering a career where it’s notoriously difficult to earn any money is not lost on me! I entered this career very realistic about the fact that the majority of full-time writers don’t earn a living wage. So I kept my day job in fintech for a long time and saved aggressively (at my last job, I was saving about 50% of every paycheck). That required real sacrifices. But I had a specific target: I wanted enough savings that I could earn *nothing* for a full two years without touching my retirement savings, while I launched a writing career. That was my runway. After two years, I found that I was consistently covering my bills with writing. So I kept going. That was five years ago, now. Success, for me, means that I can keep doing this until I die. One of the central ideas in [*Manage Your Money Like a F-cking Grownup*](https://bookshop.org/a/120382/9781776190324?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)is that **saving buys you freedom**. Writing was my deepest dream so I prioritised it. I turned my vague hopes into a concrete strategy. A lot of other stuff went right for me along the way, and I was exceptionally lucky. I can’t promise this is a replicable plan. All I can tell you is that money means you can spend your time how you want to. And being rich in the currency of time is pretty damn important, because (sorry to tell you this) you’re going to die one day. I still treat writing like a business. I do a monthly financial review. I know my numbers. That clarity tells me when I need to hunt more quick-money freelance work for a while and when I’ve got enough of a buffer that I can afford to take a big creative swing. I also have boring things like income protection insurance and a robust investment portfolio that *isn’t* connected to the whims of the publishing industry, which makes the whole thing much less stressful. If you want to be a writer, I really believe that taking the time to learn some financial skills is one of the best investments you can make. The good news is that - *I promise* \- money is honestly much simpler to understand than, say, plotting. *If you want to read the rest of the interview, where I get deep into the weeds of exactly what metrics I track, why a six-figure book deal isn't the "quit your day-job" money you think it is, and how writing on recognised IP like Marvel's different to developing your own ideas,* [*here's the guest pass*](https://howimakemoneywriting.substack.com/guestpass)*, and* [*here's the full interview*](https://howimakemoneywriting.substack.com/p/interview-125-how-sam-beckbessinger)*.* [Read the rest of the interview](https://howimakemoneywriting.substack.com/p/interview-125-how-sam-beckbessinger) --- ## My friends are so clever, you guys! Is there any joy in life greater than watching the people you love succeed? I've gotten to spend a lot of time this month celebrating some dear friends who have released BRILLIANT things you can watch, play with and listen to right now! I could honestly not be more proud. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/03/cadence.jpg) **Cadence**: a puzzle game about the quiet joy of connecting logic with music. My dear friend Peter Cardwell-Garder has poured 13 years of love into this game, and it's extraordinary (fellow nerds, there's also a Turing-complete sandbox mode?!?). You can play it for free on [iOS](https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/cadence-musical-playgrounds/id970786199%20Cadence:%20Musical%20Playgrounds?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or buy it on [Steam](https://store.steampowered.com/app/362800/Cadence/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). If you love puzzles, music, coding, and/or cats, you'll love this. VERY IMPORTANT NOTE you can PET THE CAT while you solve the soothing music puzzles. Who could ask for more? ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/03/relooted.jpg) [Relooted](https://store.steampowered.com/app/3255890/Relooted/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): a heist game where you get to steal real African artifacts back from Western museums (the dream), created by Nyamakop, an indie studio in Joburg where several of my favourite people work. The gameplay's a blast and the rich story is a stellar example of why more video game studios should hire novelists (brilliant South African author Mohale Mashigo directed the narrative). Every element of the game is so damn GOOD (and CATHARTIC). ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/03/unfolding.jpg) [*Unfolding*](https://www.unfoldingthemusical.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): My friend Emma Viacelli wrote a frigging MUSICAL you guys and one of the songs won the [Stiles + Drewe Best New Song Prize in 2024](https://www.mercurymusicals.com/whats-the-best-that-can-happen/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). They're currently crowdfunding to put on an industry showcase in London, which is the next step on its INEVITABLE PATH to the West End. They are [very very close to hitting their crowdfunding target](https://greenlit.com/project/unfolding-musical?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) if you could help, and [you can listen to a demo](https://open.spotify.com/track/4QXKXHMaCXjbC1WOKLkSPs?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) of the brilliant award-winning song here. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/03/jb.jpg) **Jungle Beat**: Sam Wilson and my buddies at Sunrise Animations won the Best Animation SAFTA(!!) for their family-friendly dino romp [*Jungle Beat 2 The Past*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tqi64U-g9ak&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which you can (and should!) find on your local streaming platform of choice immediately. Fun fact: Sam wrote the first draft of that script in a single weekend, the beautiful madman. GUYS - the PRIDE, I can't tell you!! I might have to go LIE DOWN. Wishing your friends lots of successes that you can be very proud of, Sam ### Femme Feral countdown! URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/femme-feral-countdown/ Last updated: 2026-03-10T15:55:48.000Z Hello loves, I have many thrilling things to tell you about - buckle up! ## Femme Feral pre-orders THING THE FIRST AND MOSTEST: my debut adult novel [Femme Feral](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/femme-feral/) will be on bookshelves sooner than you can shake a wolf-tail. > **South Africa** 31 March, **United Kingdom** 9 April, and **United States** 12 May I am having a lot of feelings about this! Mostly overwhelming joy, and also anxiety, and also excitement that I finally get to introduce you to the imaginary friends I've been hanging out with for most of the past few years. If there's any chance at all that you think you might like to buy the book (THANK YOU!) I have a massive favour to ask. The single most helpful thing you can do is to **pre-order** the book right now. That's because all the pre-sales count as first-week sales, which radically improves the chances that the book might make it onto a bestseller list, which means I'll ultimately sell far more books overall. [Pre-order in the UK](https://www.bloomsbury.com/uk/femme-feral-9781526687876/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Pre-order in the US](https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/783073/femme-feral-by-sam-beckbessinger/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) South Africans, this is less of a thing for you, beloved tjommas! You can feel free to wait until the book's for sale in your local bookshop. ## UK Indie Special Edition British buddies, I have a special extra treat for you. Because indie bookshops are the lifeblood of our cities, we're doing a signed special edition with witty sprayed edges (a razor shaving away fur). I'm utterly obsessed with it. [Pre-order the special edition here.](https://femmeferal.cmpgn.page/rXJ5D0?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/03/signed.jpg)](https://femmeferal.cmpgn.page/rXJ5D0?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## *Observer* Debut Novelists Live Event The best thing that's happened to me so far this year is that the boujie bakery across the road from me started selling rhubarb tarts. The second best thing that's happened to me so far this year is that I was named one of [the *Observer's* debut novelists of 2026](https://observer.co.uk/culture/books/article/the-best-debut-novelists-2026?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). To say this is a dream come true would be a lie, because I’ve never even let myself dream this big. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/03/Observer-2.jpg) "A rollicking unexpected and utterly hilarious debut novel" SOB! Londoners, we're having [a live event](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/autumnal-treats/) on 15 April and I'd be so delighted if some of you could attend. Come hang out with me and the seven other utterly marvellous novelists on this year's list, hear about our books and what inspired them, and let me give you an enthused high-five (I shall be HYPE). [![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/03/TheObserver_Novelists5.jpg)](https://observer.co.uk/our-events/the-observers-debut-novelists-of-2026?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## Updates from Sam-land I haven't sent a newsletter for a while, but rest assured that I have been TIRELESSLY HACKING WORDS FROM THE WORD-MINES FOR YOU, my loves! I've finished three big projects over the past few months: 1. A solid first draft of my next novel. I'm still trying to find the title, but for now I'm just calling it MAMA. If you're interested in the agonised process of writing a novel, I've been keeping [a live writing journal](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/cuckoobird-live-writing-journal/). 2. A second draft of the [*Marmalade is Missing*](https://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/p/marmalade-is-missing-again?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)screenplay. I can't tell you how cathartic it's been to write an animated farce about rising fascism in 1930s Europe and queer Soho nightclubs and art as resistance given ... you know (gestures broadly). 3. A full update of the SA edition of *Manage Your Money Like a F-cking Grownup*, which I'll be telling you lots about later in the year. I've also been teaching a writing workshop at [Bath Spa University](https://www.bathspa.ac.uk/courses/pg-writing-for-young-people-online/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), knitting lots of gift [Sophie Scarves](https://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/sophie-scarf-2?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), training for [another half-marathon](https://www.hackneymoves.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), doing lots of *Femme Feral* publicity, and spending lots of time with friends enjoying the returning northern hemisphere sunlight. Life feels full and rich and beautiful right now, despite my OVERWHELM about the fact that I HAVE A NOVEL LAUNCHING IN A MONTH, did I mention?? Wishing you daffodils, Sam ### Autumnal treats URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/autumnal-treats/ Last updated: 2025-11-11T15:28:03.000Z Hello loves! London autumn is the worst and also the best. The sun sets at 4pm, you get to crunch through gorgeous red leaves, there's mizzle and mulled cider everywhere, the Tube is a Petri dish for medieval diseases. I have been recovering from a series of quite disgusting seasonal infections causing various parts of my body to seep inappropriate liquids. The upside of this has been that I've had lots of time to read superb books and listen to music, much of which I need to recommend! ## Tasty music treats I've been playing three newly released albums on repeat recently: - [*Lux* by Rosalía](https://open.spotify.com/album/3SUEJULSGgBDG1j4GQhfYY?si=-fLQ9pXgTg6gJq3UE7ADQA&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which my friend Meg put me onto - sweeping orchestral sounds under playful pop melodies and sweeping operatic vocals. Dreams. - [*West End Girl* by Lily Allen](https://open.spotify.com/album/4Dn3Z14YfT2gQVDgLmWUVn?si=eeYwyUVNQxS42oEBmn4KIw&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), for cathartic rage and brutal specificity. - [*Everybody Scream* by Florence + The Machine](https://open.spotify.com/album/1gUs1RrOFahqY8T9GK3nWO?si=aLnNzM25SpiwomVeal79zA&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- lush, exquisite, layered rot, somehow extremely Autumnal. I've also been obsessively re-listening to the [original Broadway cast recording of Sweeney Todd](https://open.spotify.com/album/2q6InM859RCsSQOjHWNHk2?si=iSpzVGmTSUGEX07mcfz7SA&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which has become a bit of a Halloween tradition for me. ## Tasty book treats - [*Yellowface* by R. F. Kuang.](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/62047984-yellowface?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Please read this novel if you have ever had even the most tangential interest in the publishing industry. It's the story of a woman who steals her friend's manuscript and passes it off as her own. It's outrageous and deliciously wicked and hilarious and brilliant and furious and carefully observed and an extremely accurate evisceration of how the industry really works. I bloody adored it. - [*Katabasis*, also by R. F. Kuang](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/210223811-katabasis?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Please read *this* novel if you have ever had even the most tangential interest in academia, or know anyone who's ever suffered through a PhD. It's about two grad students who venture into hell to try to get a reference letter from their recently deceased supervisor, and of course the joke is that hell is a cakewalk compared to grad school. - [*Motherthing* by Ainslie Hogarth](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60097451-motherthing?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), for twisted unhinged domestic weirdness about a woman whose awful mother-in-law has just died, and might be haunting her husband. I cannot describe how utterly scrumptious the prose is. Read this if you love feral protagonists and complex mother-daughter relationships. It's a bit Mona Awad, a bit Meg Mason, a bit *Yellow Wallpaper*. - [*Wuthering Heights* by Emily Brontë](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/32929156-wuthering-heights?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which I'm rereading in eager anticipation for the Emerald Fennel film coming out in February next year. I first read *Wuthering Heights* as a gothy fifteen-year-old, which is exactly the right age and mindset to read it (a girl literally DIES out of MELANCHOLY just to SPITE her ex-boyfriend). The key to understanding the novel is realising that it's not a love story; it's a hate story, and I've been pleasantly surprised to find it's much funnier than I remembered. - [*Nowhere Burning* by Catriona Ward](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/217387837-nowhere-burning?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a horror story set in the Rocky Mountains about a cult of lost children, like a dark riff on Peter Pan. Catriona's one of my favourite horror writers alive: her books are twisty puzzle boxes where things are never quite what they appear to be. There are some brilliant twists in this I didn't see coming, and the scares are *harrowing*, and the brother-sister bond at the story's heart is emotionally devastating. This one's coming out in February 2026, so if you like horror, pre-order it ASAP. - [*Perilous Times* by Thomas D. Lee](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/62192516-perilous-times?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is a hoot, imagining that King Arthur's knights (Lancelot and the lot) are magically resurrected whenever Britain's in trouble to ride forth and defend the realm. Only ... swords and chainmail aren't much use against climate change. Thomas D. Lee is a real-life scholar of the Arthurian Romances so it's richly researched and humane, with a lot of thoughtful things to say about the troubles of our age. It's also bloody hilarious. Think Ben Aaronovitch meets Terry Pratchett. - [Maria Dahvana Headley's modern translation of *Beowulf*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41940267-beowulf?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=DvISFnYSeg&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which Thomas D. Lee recommended to me, is a treat. Beowulf is the most famous Old English poem, given a lot of energy and verve in this new translation. My favourite translation choice is the first word "Hwæt" which is usually translated as something like, "Hark", "Hear me" or "Attend"; Headley translates it as, "Bro!" ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/11/beowulf.jpg) First page of Beowulf, on a scrap of manuscript dating to about 700-1000 CE. Folks, that's what Old English looks like! And some non-fiction: Naomi Alderman has a brilliant new book out this week called [*Don't Burn Anyone at the Stake Today*](https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/469677/dont-burn-anyone-at-the-stake-today-by-alderman-naomi/9780241777633?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about the information crisis we're living through and what we should try to avoid repeating from historical ones. She's been supporting the release with a series of [insightful essays about AI and disinformation on her Substack](https://naomialderman.substack.com/). If you've got kids and you've been anxious about how to prepare them for a post-AI job market, I highly recommend [reading her thoughts on this](https://naomialderman.substack.com/p/preparing-for-the-working-world-in). ## A couple more clowning links I'm so sorry NO ACTUALLY I'M NOT SORRY AT ALL my clowning obsession continues. I just want to say that [the *New York Times*](https://www.nytimes.com/2025/10/07/arts/television/natalie-palamides-weer-julia-masli.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)has also cottoned on to the clowning renaissance, and they pointed out that no other than [Rainn Wilson (Dwight Schrute)](https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fscreenrant.com%2Foffice-dwight-biggest-plot-holes-no-sense%2F&psig=AOvVaw1a0McEYW6dZ9zbyyvS8stT&ust=1762880412015000&source=images&cd=vfe&opi=89978449&ved=0CBYQjRxqFwoTCKjfjreH6JADFQAAAAAdAAAAABAE) has a background in clowning. Also, Londoners, [Damien Warren-Smith's putting on a work-in-progress show on 21 November and I suspect it's going to be incredible.](https://www.thefreeassociation.co.uk/shows/damienwip?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/11/dwight.jpg) Dwight Schrute is a clown, fact! ## Project updates If you missed our *Marmalade is Missing* AMA, you [can watch the recording here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m337%5FIP4nmE&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). We had a great chat about the process of animation, film and history inspirations. In the meantime, I've been making good progress on my next novel ([I'm keeping a live writing journal here](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/cuckoobird-live-writing-journal/) if you're interested in the whole agonising process). Wishing you good books, music, and defence from seasonal infections, Sam ### Architectures of Awe URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/architectures-of-awe/ Last updated: 2025-10-16T11:41:33.000Z Hello loves! ***Psst... there will be a special treat in your inbox TOMORROW around 10am UK time. Keep an eye out!*** Last Thursday I got to see one of my lifelong musical faves, Sigur Rós, live at the Royal Albert Hall with a full symphony orchestra. Sigur Rós are an Icelandic post-rock band that were big in the early 2000s, and they sound like if you could hear sunlight glistening off a glacier. The cells of my body are still throbbing with the sounds of the swelling violins and lead singer Jónsi's ethereal elvish falsetto. In the final few songs of the night, the darkness behind the stage lit up and something magical happened: the ceiling-high organ came to life. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/10/sigur-ros.jpg) The Royal Albert Hall's pipe organ - that huge arched structure behind the orchestra - seemed to breathe. I frigging love a pipe organ. Roger Sayer, the organist who collaborated with Hans Zimmer to compose the soundtrack for *Interstellar*, said that when you play a pipe organ, you're really playing the building. The pipes are only a part of the sound that's produced; the rest comes from reverberations of stone, wood, mortar. An organist-in-training has to come to a specific building to practice, and learn to play that specific instrument, which will sound subtly different to every other organ in every other building in the world. A pipe organ can't be disassembled and taken somewhere else. It belongs to its space. It *is* its space. Apparently Hans Zimmer wanted a pipe organ for the *Interstellar* soundtrack because it **evokes the divine**. For most of us, the only place we ever hear a pipe organ is in a church, so we associate the sound with the part of ourselves that reaches for the sublime. It is the sound of awe. England is full of beautiful old churches that are barely used any more. Only [half of Britons believe in God](https://www.kcl.ac.uk/policy-institute/assets/lost-faith-the-uk's-changing-attitudes-to-religion.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and only about 1 in 10 people attend a religious service regularly. Two weeks ago, I visited one in a tiny Sussex village that had stained glass windows painted by Marc Chagall. It's exquisite, coloured light skipping over stone. Someone had left little seasonal offerings of fresh fruit and bundles of wheat in the windows in gratitude for the harvest, which struck me as charmingly pagan. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/10/E0108080-79C6-4DC3-873C-335CC3F249D0_1_102.jpeg) All Saints' Church in Tudeley (where I successfully ran my HALF MARATHON, thank you for your well wishes) But many of England's little village churches feel much sadder. Neglected, crumbling, musty places full of dusty hymn books and echoing silence. Pipe organs gathering dust. Waiting for a congregation that's not coming back. It's been a slow decline of decades. Philip Larkin - the grumpiest poet who ever lived - wrote a poem all the way back in 1954 cleverly called ["Church Going"](https://thepoetryhour.com/poems/church-going/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) where he writes about stepping into an old village church and finding it an archaic place, little used, of little relevance to the modern world. *Another church: matting, seats, and stone,* *And little books; sprawlings of flowers, cut* *For Sunday, brownish now; some brass and stuff* *Up at the holy end; the small neat organ;* *And a tense, musty, unignorable silence,* *Brewed God knows how long.* ... *Mounting the lectern, I peruse a few* *Hectoring large-scale verses, and pronounce* *‘Here endeth’ much more loudly than I’d meant.* *The echoes snigger briefly. Back at the door* *I sign the book, donate an Irish sixpence,* *Reflect the place was not worth stopping for.* He wonders: "when churches fall completely out of use, what shall we turn them into?" Imagining that people might develop superstitions and ghost stories about them, long after they've forgotten what they were originally used for, or if eventually they'll just revert to "grass, weedy pavement, brambles, buttress, sky". Hundreds of churches close every year in the UK. Many of them have been converted into expensive private flats, which I find deeply sad. Some, like [MEATliquor](https://meatliquor.com/restaurant/meatliquor-shoreditch/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) in Hoxton, are now restaurants. There's a church in Redbridge that's been [converted into a Virgin Active](https://londonist.com/2016/07/the-london-church-that-s-a-swimming-pool?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), so you can sauna in the old confessional. A lot of them are, unsurprisingly, concert halls, because of the great acoustics. Other places are trying to retain some of the *community* functions of church without the religion bits. I sometimes go to [Sunday Assembly](https://www.sundayassembly.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), adorkable weekly secular meet-ups where people sing pop songs together, listen to interesting talks and co-ordinate volunteering efforts. But they're often held in simple spaces: comedy clubs, school halls, pubs - places where it's harder to access thesublime. Still, I can't help walking into any church I pass by. I've had a long fascination with religion, though always from the outside looking in. My mum's devoutly Catholic but throughout my childhood, she believed that she wasn't in a state of grace and wasn't welcome in a church, so we never went. That was a frightening belief to grow up with, believing that 1\. God is real but also 2\. God can hate you; in fact you can do something so unforgivable you'll be banished from his house forever. Don't worry, Mum's worked it all out with God now and they're homies again. But I think as a kid this left me feeling both unwelcome in religious spaces and hungry for them. I sampled all sorts as a teenager. Buddhist monasteries, shuls, Evangelical meet-ups in windowless basements, modest Methodist chapels, Hare Krishna temples, grand Anglican cathedrals. I made little pagan shrines in my bedroom and got super into Wicca and the I Ching. I followed this hunger to university, where my undergraduate major was religious studies. I've never found a religious community that fit me right, but I have found many *places* that have, places where I've felt like I'm looking at God. Most of them are outside. The kelp forests around Cape Town. A patch of redwood trees in Northern California. The Wye Valley in Wales. There are some secular buildings that inspire that same sense of awe in me. Constitution Hill in Johannesburg makes me feel all sorts of huge feelings. London's Tate Modern. The Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe in Berlin. When I was a teenager, visits to the one good CD shop in Menlyn Mall were pretty bloody moving. Actually, right now I'm writing from one of those secular buildings so lovely I could compose an ode to it: **The British Library**. I work here often. Architecturally, it's not particularly beautiful. The nicest thing one can say about the structure is ... uh ... it was built in 1997? And I guess it has a certain red-brick confidence in its jutting shiplike shapes? But its function! Oh man, that moves me beyond words. Anyone can get a reader pass and come sit at a leather-bound desk with free unlimited wifi and read literally anything. Every book ever published in the UK and Ireland is stored in its labyrinth basements, 746km worth of shelving. They have every single newspaper ever published in South Africa (and many other places) on microfiche. They have old pornography collections and radical pamphlets and ship's logs. A few weeks ago I spent an hour reading some of A A Milne's old handwritten letters, ostensibly as research for a paper I'm writing but really just because I'm a little sentimental Cancer at heart who loves *Winnie the Pooh*. You can just do that at the British Library! You don't even have to have a reason! *It costs nothing*! But many religious buildings were built precisely to inspire awe, and the good ones achieve this like no other architecture can. My favourite place on this earth is a particular bank on the Orange River, where my best friend Melanie and I used to play as children, but my favourite *building* on earth is the Sagrada Familia basilica in Barcelona. I've been inside it three times, and each time I've *wept*. I find it so overwhelmingly beautiful. It makes me love everything about humanity and the world. The Spanish have been building it for 143 years and counting, which is maybe everything you need to understand about the Spanish. If you built a pipe organ inside it, it would sound like Stravinsky, strange and multilayered. It would sound like a forest. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/10/Sagrada_Fam--lia-_Columns.jpg) The Sagrada Familia, by [Robertgombos](https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=69545317&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Even grumpy Philip Larkin gets quite romantic about village churches, by [the end of the poem](https://thepoetryhour.com/poems/church-going/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). The thing about a church, he ponders, is that all aspects of human existence - marriage, birth, death, our private thoughts - all belong equally within their walls. "A serious house on serious earth it is", which dignifies the everyday ordinariness of our lives into something greater. Maybe part of what's so lovely about a village church is just the *village* part of it. Every community once had a space that wasn't for work, home, or recreation, but for everything remaining - the messy, tender parts of life that don't fit anywhere else. I love that we built these rooms and made them open to anyone, places where the hungry could get some food and the joyful could sing and the sad could find solace, places we could gather to mourn our dead and celebrate our births and talk about our values, and try to make contact with a feeling that there's something bigger and more important than ourselves, and this *all used to happen in one place*, places we made beautiful, places we made holy. We still have all these feelings, but here in England, we have fewer physical places to put them. In losing the old churches, or losing our sense that they belong to *us*, we've lost places for those feelings to live. Pipe organs, and the buildings they sing with, are public instruments. They belong to a community, not to a person. They belong to a place. They belong to us. I'd love to see more communities refusing to let them be sold to private developers, reclaiming them, breathing life back into them, playing those organs. --- ## Some other lovely things recently! I had the best best time [hanging out with fellow writers Samantha Shannon, Natasha Siegel, Esmie Jikiemi-Pearson and Sarah Mughal Rana](https://www.instagram.com/p/DPYYmUOjX0R/?img%5Findex=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), as well as my wonderful brilliant editor Vicky Leech Mateos, at the launch of [Bloomsbury Archer](https://www.bloomsbury.com/uk/connect/latest-news/announcing-new-science-fiction-and-fantasy-imprint-bloomsbury-archer/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- the new imprint that's publishing *Femme Feral* in the UK in April 2026\. I'm so honoured to be releasing my debut adult novel amongst such company. > [ View this post on Instagram ](https://www.instagram.com/p/DPYYmUOjX0R/?utm%5Fsource=ig%5Fembed&utm%5Fcampaign=loading) > > [A post shared by Samantha Shannon (@say\_shannon)](https://www.instagram.com/p/DPYYmUOjX0R/?utm%5Fsource=ig%5Fembed&utm%5Fcampaign=loading) ## Marmalade is Missing (Again!) I have an exciting update about *Marmalade is Missing (Again!)*, the film script I wrote last month: we've just launched [a crowdfunding campaign](https://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/p/marmalade-is-missing-again?utm%5Fcampaign=sharemodal&utm%5Fmedium=referral&utm%5Fsource=shortlink) to raise a bit more development funding. There are some great rewards available if you've got some extra cash lying around, and our producer wrote lovely description about the origins and themes project if you're intrigued (basically, it's a traditional 2D animation about a burlesque troop in 1930s Europe, a flamboyant queer and feminist comedy about solidarity, joy, resistance, and sequins). I had so much fun writing the script, and I've been blown away by the skill of the team I'm working with. I'm excited to show you more over the coming weeks. [Even £3 would be much appreciated as a show of support! ](https://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/p/marmalade-is-missing-again?utm%5Fcampaign=sharemodal&utm%5Fmedium=referral&utm%5Fsource=shortlink) ## Manage Your Money Apps If you're a *Manage Your Money* reader, you'll be pleased to know I've [updated the list of suggested apps and tools to use to track your spending.](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/some-great-apps-and-tools-to-help-you-manage-your-money/) It was overdue! New top suggestions include [**Finwise**](https://finwiseapp.io/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [**Lunch Money**](https://lunchmoney.app/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and I've signposted some apps that work specifically for people who've ended up with pots of money in different countries. If you're still using 22seven, now called Vault22, I've also made a suggestion there about changing one of the settings. ## Some final quick recommendations: - **Something to read:** this hilarious short piece, ["One must imagine Sisyphus doing 'The Artist's Way'"](https://www.iwroteashortstory.com/copy-of-everyone-is-pregnant?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - **Something to watch:** I cannot recommend the TV show [*Dying for Sex*](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt30252752/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)highly enough. It's about a woman with terminal cancer who breaks up with her husband to finally try to have an orgasm, and it's screamingly funny but also such a profound meditation on friendship, desire, death, and I loved it so much. Please please would everyone watch it (not with kids in the room). - **Something to listen to:** [Here's my favourite song by Sigur Ros](https://open.spotify.com/track/1JfyhapKDVF6e6U5HXn3Fd?si=94a6105619cb4069&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It helps if you imagine it with a pipe organ. **Don't forget to watch your inbox around 10am tomorrow! I'll be sending you something yummy.** Wishing you awe, stained glass, and a place to put your biggest feelings, Sam ### Fat Bear Week URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/fat-bear-week/ Last updated: 2025-10-03T06:46:49.000Z Hello loves, It's the most important sporting season of the year: **Fat Bear Week**. Fat Bear Week is when the rangers at Katmai National Park [set up a livestream](https://explore.org/livecams/brown-bears?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) of Alaskan brown bears catching salmon, and the public votes on which one looks the most gloriously rotund. This year's winner, I'm horrified to report, is 32 Chunk - a horrible ursine thug who killed the baby of last year's winner, 128 Grazer, live on camera. Nothing so thrilling has ever happened in the FIFA World Cup. They think he weighs about 550kg, although this is just an estimate, because of course no one has tried to wrangle him onto a scale. Bears are a great inspiration for seasonal living. Use the fat days to shore up for the lean. Feast when there's plenty, nap through famine. Stock your larder, so you have plenty to live off through hard times. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/10/grazer.png) 128 Grazer, my chunky queen That’s what I’ve been thinking about as the days here grow shorter and colder: building the habits that will sustain me through the next few cold dark months. So far, this has been an unusually distracted year for me, featuring adventures and frolics and silly fun projects and far too much time watching livestreams of bears catching salmon. I'm really hoping to dive back into a disciplined writing practice over the winter, to complete a solid draft of my next novel, *Cuckoobird*. But [Anne Helen Peterson wrote something about burnout](https://annehelen.substack.com/p/how-ive-changed-my-thinking-about) years ago that I still think about often: paradoxically, often the solution to preventing burnout from work is to *add more things into your life*, to "develop several axes, instead of just one, for \[your\] life to rotate around." I have a terrible tendency, when I'm tackling a big project, to try to "clear the decks" and remove everything else from my life except the One Important Thing I have to "focus on". I have had to learn and relearn time and again that this is a highway to exhaustion. So this time, I've been explicitly trying to **add things into my life** that keep me feeling full and fat and creatively fecund. The big one, which is a huge surprise to me, is that I've somehow transformed into a running jock this year. Six years ago, [I literally made a whole podcast episode](https://open.spotify.com/episode/1dHpvuCaYRHzXEN0AXN7Oi?si=a5c5f7a6424f4ca7&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about how much I despise running, and yet this Sunday, I'm going to be running my first ever half marathon. Please light your candles and whisper your prayers to 128 Grazer for me. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/10/running.jpg) Here's me at a recent track night where I ran 5km in 30 minutes - just look at me in my dorky lil running hat! Look at my endorphin glow! What's made the running routine stick now, and not the seven billion times I've tried to build a running habit before? *Friends* \- the same source of most good things in my life. I literally belong to a [running club](https://www.thesayyesclub.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) now, which is basically IRL Hinge for really hot 25 year olds, and for some reason me. It's felt miraculous, finally feeling competent at something I never thought I'd be able to do at all. A whole new axis for my life to spin around. I've also been stocking my creative larder. I've just finished writing an animated film set in the 1930s, so I've been watching a lot of 1930s and '40s animation, a lot of which is much more surreal and deliciously strange than I'd realised. I've fallen down a deep [Max Fleischer](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVQhISdcn2Zv9acVsswdAaQ?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) rabbit hole: he brought us Betty Boop and Popeye, and a host of weirder and darker toons than what early Disney was making. It's striking how much cartoon logic is like dream logic. In words attributed to a Disney animator Art Babbitt, "Animation follows the laws of physics - unless it is funnier otherwise." A great bit of surreal animation from the 1941 Dumbo film. Garbage in, garbage out, they say, but that's fine because I love garbage. Pulpy, half-rotted rubbish makes fantastic compost for things to grow in. I've been a little obsessed recently with the question of how we metabolise input into creative work. How you take some scrap you've observed in the world - a boy practicing clarinet on a park bench, a fat bear committing live-streamed infanticide - and spin this into art? I've been doing a small research project on how children’s and YA authors use journals as part of their creative process. Really, it’s an excuse to be nosy and rifle through other people’s notebooks, but officially I’ll be sharing the findings at the [On Writing for Young People Conference](https://ojs.library.lancs.ac.uk/lj/conference?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) conference soon, if any of you are children’s/YA authors or academics who might find this interesting. You can't always be gorging, or always be hoarding. Seasons change. You can't just leave things in your larder saving them for something better someday. We don't think enough about how soon we're all going to be dead, how little time we all have for anything worthwhile. The time is now. The salmon is leaping, right past your mouth in exactly this moment, and if you hesitate, with a silver flash it will be gone. > “One of the few things I know about writing is this: spend it all, shoot it, play it, lose it, all, right away, every time. Do not hoard what seems good for a later place in the book, or for another book; give it, give it all, give it now. The impulse to save something good for a better place later is the signal to spend it now. Something more will arise for later, something better. These things fill from behind, from beneath, like well water.” - Annie Dillard What about you, loves? What are the habits, rituals and life-axes that are helping you prepare for the coming season, whatever it is? Wishing you a fat juicy salmon, Sam ## Some other things in my larder - Thank you for sending me your [clown recommendations](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/clowns/) and clown stories! Two other options for clown shows you should see: [Feast of the Clowns](https://www.up.ac.za/up-copc-research-unit/news/post%5F3032506-feast-of-the-clowns?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a social justice clown festival that happens every year in Pretoria (thanks Sesihle!) and [The Kings Collab](https://www.instagram.com/thekingscollab/?hl=en&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) in Cape Town (thanks Emma!). - [Alistair Mackay](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/230107740-the-lucky-ones?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F3%5F15) told me I have to read [*Stag Dance*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/215362032-stag-dance?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)by Torey Peters, so I am and it's glorious (Alistair's recommendations never fail me). I'm also loving a short story collection by K-Ming Chang called [*Gods of Want*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57485174-gods-of-want?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F12), which I picked up from one of my favourite London bookshops [Common Press](https://www.commonpress.co.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- it's filled with the most astonishingly surprising sentences that never go where you think they'll go: "I warned my wife about them. They volunteered as our bridesmaids and came dressed in nets, fishhooks in their eyes, alive. They glued thorns into all the flower arrangements and stepped on my wife's dress until it tore, baring her ass, and then they used the veil to run around outside and catch hairy moths in its gauze. They knotted my tie into a noose and hung it from the church ceiling like a chandelier, but I didn't know how to kick them out once they were there. They brought gifts, fistfuls of worms and a downed telephone pole." - Another axis my life's spinning around at the moment: knitting. I'm halfway through a vest, after which I'm going to attempt my first ever jumper. If any of you have a good raglan-sleeved pattern for very baby knitters, please sling it my way. ### Send in the clowns URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/clowns/ Last updated: 2025-10-03T07:21:20.000Z Hello loves! In this newsletter, I'm not going to try to convince you to like clowns. I'm going to do something wilder. I'm going to try to convince you that ***you already like clowns***. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/09/Pasted-image-20250925123212.png) Wilkie's circus on the Cape Town foreshore, 1961, photo by Etienne du Plessis [A soundtrack to this newsletter](https://open.spotify.com/track/7tlvuoydFHFO12oZl5buh0?si=6fb9d8498cad46f1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com): --- The Boswell Wilkie circus rolled into Durban every year of my childhood, announcing itself in hypersaturated neon posters on every street pole up Marine Drive. The circus was big entertainment for South African families in the 80s. This was the height of Apartheid; there was a global cultural boycott and the good local music and theatre was all banned, but when the circus came to town, working class families could enjoy an evening of hand-standing elephants and spangly trapeze artists and motorbikes zooming round spherical cages. These thrilling acts were supposedly from exotic far-flung lands like Mongolia and St Petersburg and Peru. In truth, the Boswells were from Yorkshire. You might think there's nothing progressive about a form of entertainment that forces wild animals to balance balls on their noses, but give them some credit. The Boswells defied Apartheid laws by performing to racially mixed audiences, and scandalised the church by putting on shows on Sundays. If you ignore the animal cruelty, it was an inclusive, joyful place. ![An escaped circus bear on a motorcycle.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/09/image-2.png) In 1955, a five-year-old bear named Susan [escaped from Wilkie's circus on her motorcycle](https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/420311702.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). How has Pixar not made this into a movie? It was also cheap, which was my family's main interest in the circus. Tickets cost the equivalent of around R150 per adult, cheaper than a cinema ticket today, and kids got in free. For my hardworking parents, looking for a night of affordable entertainment, there was just one problem. I was *desperately terrified of clowns*. It started when I was two, and we were making the annual family pilgrimage to the circus, but our wheezing *skedonk* of a car broke down so we arrived late. Which meant we walked into the Big Top mid-clown-act. Just as we squeezed inside, a clown hurled a flare that went off with a BANG right at our feet. I screamed. I did not stop screaming. My mum had to carry me back to the car like she was exorcising a toddler banshee. There was no solace when we got back home, because my mum had made the totally-normal-by-1980s-decor-standards decision to decorate my ENTIRE CHILDHOOD BEDROOM IN CLOWNS. There were porcelain ceramic clowns clustered on every shelf. A mobile with felted clowns dangling over my bed. A wallpaper border around the room covered in clowns. I swear to fucking god I'm not taking artistic license with any of this. My whole childhood bedroom was literally a shrine to clowns. ![A grinning clown.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/09/image-1.png) The face of my nightmares. Eventually I swopped bedrooms with my little brother, sacrificing him to the evil red-nose devils in my place, because that's just the kind of caring big sister I was. And I declared that I hated clowns. Every year after that when we went to the circus, I would bring a blanket, and hide under it when the clowns came out. Caulrophobia, the fear of clowns, was all the rage in the 80s. Before then, *sad clowns* were definitely a thing, but it was pretty unusual to find clowns *creepy.* But that was the decade the mood really turned against clowns. Blame real-life 1970s serial killer John Wayne Gacy, who worked as a children's clown called Patches. Blame Stephen Spielberg and Tobe Hooper for 1982's *Poltergeist*, featuring a killer clown doll. Blame Stephen King, who published *It* in 1986, and Tim Curry, who turned a whole generation off clowns with his iconic embodiment of the role in the 1990 miniseries. Blame Alan Moore for releasing the seminal Joker comic book *Batman: The Killing Joke* in 1988\. Whoever started it, the idea of creepy murderous clowns really hit the mainstream in the 80s, and it hasn't left. What parent today would decorate their child's bedroom in porcelain clown figurines, unless they were conducting a psychological experiment into how much you can traumatise a toddler? ![A panel of the Joker from Batman: The Killing Joke by Alan Moore and Brian Bolland. A creepy-faced Joker stands in front of a wall of text, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA".](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/09/batman.jpg) I used to share an office with Ronald McDonald. Well, I shared an office with a six-foot-six man named Dustin, who was the official Ronald McDonald actor for the South Gauteng region in the late 2000s. He had a van with a dressing room and make-up table in the back and he and his manager Leslie used to drive around to local schools and children's parties. There was no branding on the van, because you wouldn't want Ronald to be swarmed by excited children, and no windows, because Dustin used to change into his yellow jumpsuit back there. So yeah, if you ever saw a plain white, windowless van parked outside a primary school in Johannesburg there's a decent chance there was a very tall man dressed up like a clown inside of it. Enjoy the fresh nightmares. There are a lot of strict rules about what you can and can't do when you're dressed up like Ronald McDonald. You may not eat any McDonald's food, for instance (Ronald's job is to sell the concept of 'fun', and the company hates to be accused of using Ronald sell its 'food'). You may not hug any children. You may not answer truthfully if a kid asks where the burgers come from. The official line is that they grow in a burger patch. So yeah, clowns have followed me throughout my life, no matter how I've tried to avoid them. Right now, in fact, I live around the corner of the official [clown egg register](https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/clown-egg-register?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), where clowns 'patent' their unique make-up designs by painting them on hen's eggs. For inexplicable reasons, they're stored in the vestry of my local church. Then, a few weeks ago, I realised I'd been completely wrong about clowns. Last month, I went up to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival (non Brits, this is a month-long theatre/performance/comedy extravaganza that happens every August, like the National Arts Festival in Makhanda). My magician friend [Stuart Lightbody](https://www.stuartlightbodymagic.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) had been up there for weeks already performing, so when I arrived, I asked him for his top show recommendations. I was more than a little resistant when he suggested a bunch of clown shows. "Clowns? *Really*?" Yes, clowns. But I trust Stuart, so I took his advice and booked a bunch of clown shows, and - friends - NO ONE IS MORE SHOCKED THAN ME to report that I'm now 100% sold on clowns. I've been convinced that clowning is one of the great art forms of our times. Of *any* times. Here's the thing: it hadn't clicked for me what clowning actually is. I thought clowns = white face, red nose, big shoes, loud bangs & possible murder. But clowning is a school of performance that encompasses all of these people: - Rowan Atkinson - Lucille Ball (from *I Love Lucy*) - Sasha Baron Cohen - Laurel and Hardy - Peter Sellers - Helena Bonham Carter - Rob van Vuuren (from Corne and Twakkie) If you've ever giggled at Mr Bean or Borat, you like clowns! If you think Emma Thompson's got great comedic timing (fun fact: she trained at clown school), you like clowns! If you love drag kings, honey, I hate to break it to you, but you like clowns! ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/09/Phlyax_scene_Dirce_Painter_MAN.jpg) In Ancient Greece, a phylax play would have involved comic characters wearing masks and giant fake dicks. Civilised. Many cultures have clown-type ritualistic roles, but Western clowning is a specific performance tradition that stretches back thousands of years. Ancient Greek and Roman theatre featured clown-like characters who'd provide comic relief amongst all the tragedy. Medieval Europe had jesters and fools. The 16th-18th centuries gave us a popular type of theatre called Commedia dell'arte, featuring standard stock characters like the Harlequin (and other clowns). In the early 1800s, a 'harlequinade' clown called Joseph Grimaldi developed a look called the 'Joey', which might look familiar: ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/09/Joseph_Grimaldi.jpg) Grimaldi's 'Joey' character was so popular it inspired clowns at music halls, pantomimes and circuses throughout Europe and America, and became the iconic clown getup. But clowning didn't stop developing with Bozo. The red nose, for instance. The nose is doing something important: Lecoq, a major 20th century clowning teacher, described the red nose is the 'smallest mask', and there's a whole philosophy about why clowns mask. But when 'killer clowns' became the dominant cultural clown meme, many clowns dropped the nose, instead relying on thick makeup as the 'mask', and many contemporary clowns don't mask at all. You might be surprised to hear that clowning's having a renaissance today, driven mostly by performers in LA, Edinburgh and Sydney. I was surprised by how much clowning there was at the Edinburgh festival this year. I was even more surprised by how much I loved it. I cannot describe how electrifying and disarming these shows were. Really, I can't describe them! Part of what's so great about clowning is that they're *live* experiences. Most of them are highly interactive. There's no fourth wall. They play with the vulnerability and trust of the audience. Anything I tell you will entirely fail to capture how that feels. To give you just the barest image, the best show I saw - [*Garry Starr's Penguin Classics*](https://strutnfret.com/shows/garry-starr-classic-penguins/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#:~:text=Edinburgh%20Comedy%20Awards.-,Following%20a%20smash%2Dhit%2C%20sell%20out%20Australian%20and%20UK%20tour,most%20iconic%20works%20of%20fiction.) \- featured an Australian man re-enacting every great work of classic literature while wearing nothing but a penguin coat and flippers. At one point, he did a *naked handstand* while a volunteer from the audience *fished a tiny figurine of The Little Prince out of his bum hole,* and this was the payoff of a joke he'd set up forty minutes earlier, and I have never laughed so hard in my life, or been so utterly gobsmacked by a piece of live theatre. Clowns aren't just funny, they're usually funny because they act like the Freudian 'id' - all unrestrained impulse. They are ignorant of social norms (think Borat). They're often petty and selfish (think Mr Bean). They are usually downtrodden and have no social status (think of Charlie Chaplain's Tramp character). They can be madly oversexed, and in contemporary clowning shows, they're quite often nude. The clown is usually doing something very ordinary, but in a ridiculous way, showing how absurd it was in the first place. A great example of this in South African theatre is [*Woza Albert*](https://youtu.be/j%5FbcqgxaVcA?si=V3INhZZudsuxGJ--&t=235&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*,* an iconic struggle play created by Percy Mtwa, Mbongeni Ngema and Barney Simon in 1981\. Several of the scenes re-enact the daily humiliations of black South Africans by the Apartheid state, but subvert the power dynamics by having all the white characters wear clown noses. Clowning requires risk from a performer, and play. It's a primarily physical theatre form (that's one reason for the mask - to force the actor to communicate with their body instead of their face). It's improvisational and interactive. It's transgressive. It's surprising. It's vulnerable, and deeply trusting. In fact: **it's very brave to be silly.** I think that's what I find so personally thrilling about clowning. The parts of myself I like the least are the most self-serious parts. As a small, scared-of-clowns child, I dreamed of escaping to an easier life than my parents had, and I was convinced my ticket out was cleverness. I built my whole identity around being clever, and to some extent, it worked - it got me a bursary to a private high school, then a university scholarship, then let me build a stable-ish career. I clung to my cleverness like a life raft. At my worst, I was Comic Book Guy: correcting people, showing off my facts, constantly arguing. Underneath, of course, I was miserable. "I'm so clever" energy is just insecurity behind a fucking big mask. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/09/comicguy.gif) Me, circa 2001-2015 It wasn't until my late 20s that I really learned to chill the fuck out, to goof around, to play, to *clown*, to be vulnerable ... and to connect with other people. That's when I started writing seriously. And it's still a struggle for me; whenever I'm anxious, Clever Girl still shows up, trying to keep me safe in the world. But these days, I'm trying to let my inner clown walk into the room first. It's a much better way to live. If I sound like a nutty clown convert, sorry, I am! And I want to convert you too. So, here's what I want you to do for me: **go watch a clown show**. You have to see it live. Here are some suggestions: - Many of the best clowns these days are performing as **drag kings**. In London, the best drag king circuit is called [Man Up](https://www.instagram.com/manupldn/?hl=en&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (my fave kings are [Dairy King](https://www.instagram.com/milkman%5Fdairy/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Die Lemma](https://www.instagram.com/die.lemma/?hl=en&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and [Jean](https://www.instagram.com/distressed%5Fjean%5F/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a sentient pile of denim). South Africans, [Jozi Kings & Things](https://www.instagram.com/jozi%5Fkings%5Fand%5Fthings/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and Cape Town's [King's Collab](https://www.instagram.com/thekingscollab/?hl=en&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) are both utterly wonderful - they put on shows periodically. - Londoners, [Cabbage the Clown](https://www.instagram.com/elizanelso/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)'s show is on for a couple more weeks, and it's delightful. - South Africans, my brilliant clown friend Roberto Pombo recommends [Momo Matsunyane](https://www.instagram.com/momo%5Fmatsunyane/?hl=en&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Jenine Collocott](https://esat.sun.ac.za/index.php/Jenine%5FCollocott?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Klara van Wyk](https://www.linkedin.com/in/klara-van-wyk-b8a898113/?originalSubdomain=za&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Sophie Jones](https://thecaperobyn.co.za/interview-ile-by-sophie-joans-we-cant-change-our-families-but-we-can-laugh-at-them/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Daniel Buckland](https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=2635020059980076) and [Rob van Vuuren](https://www.instagram.com/robvanvuuren/?hl=en&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). They all do many types of performance, not just clowning, so check that the specific performance is a comedy. Roberto's got an unmissable show on at PopArt in Joburg next month, called [*The Agents*](https://popartcentre.co.za/theatre/book-tickets/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*.* - If you know anyone in Sydney, please please please strong-arm them into watching [*Garry Starr's Penguin Classics*](https://strutnfret.com/shows/garry-starr-classic-penguins/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#:~:text=Edinburgh%20Comedy%20Awards.-,Following%20a%20smash%2Dhit%2C%20sell%20out%20Australian%20and%20UK%20tour,most%20iconic%20works%20of%20fiction.) *\-* it might honestly be the best live show I've ever seen. - Americans, [Julia Masli](https://www.instagram.com/juliamasli/?hl=en&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)'s on tour there over the next few months. - The major international clowning schools are École Philippe Gaulier, Helikos and Lecoq. If you can find a local performer who's an alumnus from any of those schools, go see them. Try it, and let me know if you're convinced! Wishing you laughs, interesting office-mates, and exciting things up your butt, Sam --- Some other random things I've loved recently: - Naomi Alderman's list of things she loves in London, [part 1](https://naomialderman.substack.com/p/57-things-i-love-in-london?utm%5Fsource=substack&utm%5Fmedium=email) and [part 2](https://substack.com/home/post/p-173874861?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - Mona Awad's batshit bananas brilliant brilliant novel about living with chronic back pain and why it's a bad idea to make deals with witches, [*All's Well*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/59366193-all-s-well?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=EZohGonEGI&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - John Green's non-fiction book [*Everything is Tuberculosis*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/220341389-everything-is-tuberculosis?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=BhhOLNEfoA&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Last week I said I was trying to replace fast-paced news input with reading more thoughtful books that give me fresh perspective on the world, and this is a great example. The infectious disease that killed the most people in the world between 2020-2022 was Covid-19\. In most other years of your lifetime, it was tuberculosis, meaning 1.3 million die every year die of a disease that is totally curable. This book made me feel outraged, deeply moved, and also hopeful. Can't recommend it highly enough. - Learning about [Muriel 'Cunty' Belcher](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muriel%5FBelcher?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), who owned a famous bohemian nightclub in Soho in the 1940s. If your nickname is 'Cunty' and it was gifted to you by a gay man, you're living your life correctly. - [*I Realised It Was Me*](https://open.spotify.com/album/6yHvAWxA6VKI84oROfly3F?si=%5FkzzuxMqSqOxJ9rcXgqgEA&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), the transcendent new album by Steam Down. Incidentally, Steam Down's [weekly jazz improv sessions](https://peckhamlevels.org/events/steam-down?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) in the Peckham Levels are the most electrifying live music nights in the city. ### The lost golden age and other stories we live inside URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-lost-golden-age-and-other-stories-we-live-inside/ Last updated: 2025-09-17T09:57:18.000Z *Psst ... I'm sorry the footnote formatting is so weird in this piece. Actually I'm sorry I tried to include FOOTNOTES in a NEWSLETTER!! I need to get a life, honestly ;)* Hello loves, Let me tell you a story. Back in 1944, two psychologists named Fritz Heider and Marianne Simmel ran an experiment. They brought 114 people into their lab and showed them a short animated film of simple geometric shapes moving around a screen. Then they asked a question: **what do you see?** An animation from the Heider and Simmel study (1944) Try it. [Watch the film yourself](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTNmLt7QX8E&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). What do you see? ... ... ... Almost nobody in the initial research group, or amongst the thousands of people who've watched it in replications of the study, answered rationally: "I saw two triangle and a circle moving around the screen". No. Almost everyone saw a narrative. Some saw a bully harassing two young lovers. Some saw a slapstick comedy love triangle. There's conflict! There's drama! In other words, there's **story**. Jonathan Gotshell talks about this in his excellent book *The Storytelling Animal,* and uses it to illustrate a subtle point: it's not just that we all CAN tell stories from random inputs like this. It's more than that: we HAVE to tell stories. **This is what our brain does naturally**, **all the time**. Stories are how we make sense of the universe. Story is the human operating system. ## America, hey? So, obviously, the present moment in world politics feels extremely goddamn weird right now, even if you don't live in the United States. And do I think that's somewhat because there are actual James Bond villain-level villains actively dismantling one of the world superpower governments for their own enrichment. And some of what's happening is just unmasked reactionary racism and sexism and nativism and naked greed. But it also feels like there's something more unstable going on, on a much wider cultural level, involving regular people all around the world. And maybe this is just how all cultural shifts have felt to all people in all of human history. Maybe every era feels apocalyptic when you’re living through it. Like, I don't think the past five years have been weirder than, say, 1914-1919 (WWI), or many other especially weird half-decades.[\[1\]](#fn1) But 2020-2025 definitely feels like it's been ... above baseline weird, right? I've been thinking about how some of that is because the stories we live inside of have fragmented. It's not just that some of what other people are doing right now feels wrong to me — often, it feels *inexplicable*. Like I’m living in a fundamentally different story from many of my neighbours. I'm not the first person to observe that a lot of that's simply because individualised algorithms now control most of our media intake. --- 1. Some other contestants for really weird half-decades in world history: 1879–1884 (the Scramble for Africa), or 1347-1352 (the Bubonic plague kills half of Europe), or 1206–1211 (Genghis Khan unites the Mongols), or 632–637 (the reshaping of the Middle East after the death of the Prophet Muhammad), or 476–481 (the Western Roman Empire falls). [↩︎](#fnref1) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/03/image-8.png) Ferdinand Pauwels - Martin Luther hammers his 95 Theses to the door, enabled by the printing press It will take several more decades before we can really begin to reckon with how disruptive social/algorithmic media has been on culture. The last time we had a communication technology shift as seismic was the Gutenberg press. And for the hundred-odd years after THAT was invented, things also got really fucking weird! The most fundamental stories that Europeans used to understand their world, Catholicism and the "natural hierarchy" of feudalism, were shattered by the Protestant Reformation, a series of Peasants’ Wars, and a whole lot of *Uh, What The Hell Is Even Happening.*[\[1\]](#fn1) Some of these changes were ultimately good, albeit pretty disruptive to live through at the time (e.g. I'm quite glad I do not have to serve a liege lord), and some of them were plain awful (e.g. witch trials). It turns out that if anyone can print a pamphlet, anyone can spread fake news, who knew, and it took a long time for societies to develop the cultural and legal guardrails to manage the ensuing chaos. The past two decades of digital media have been a new printing press moment. It's like we're all trapped in a Heider-Simmel experiment, but everyone is getting served up different animations by the algorithm. Or even weirder, we're seeing the same animations, but we're interpreting them through different stories. The same triangle to some may be a noble warrior defending its homeland, and to others a power-hungry villain out to exploit the defenceless. The triangle must flee from a terrible threat: climate change, or immigrants, or the fertility crisis, or the wokerati, or late-stage capitalism, or a corrupt deep state, or brown people, or fascists, or unaligned AI, or nonbinary teenagers, or neoliberalism, or globalists, or wicked billionaires, or the culture studies department of elite universities. Each of us is watching shapes move around our personally tailored phone-sized screen, so increasingly we can find ourselves inhabiting a fundamentally different story even to people who live under the same roof. I think about these stories as our personal "understories", the grand narratives that we instinctively filter our experience of the world through. --- 1. Dan Carlin's *Hardcore History* podcast has a superb episode about this called "Prophets of Doom". Thomas Pettitt's *The Gutenberg Parenthesis* and Naomi Alderman's novel *The Future* also make some very wise points about this. [↩︎](#fnref1) --- From William Davies on [Faragist TikTok](https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v47/n11/william-davies/tv-meets-fruit-machine?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): > Handing so much power over to algorithms ... has had some disconcerting effects on the wider public sphere, if we can still speak of such a thing. For the last few years, users of Facebook, Instagram and X (formerly Twitter) have noticed that a rising proportion of what they are shown on these platforms comes from sources they have never ‘followed’, ‘liked’ or ‘subscribed’ to. Some of it will be inane, some of it shocking; much of it will be infuriatingly hard to ignore. This is what the media scholars Benjamin Guinaudeau, Kevin Munger and Fabio Votta have referred to as ‘virality from nowhere’: somehow, the videos in question are racking up good numbers in the attention economy even though users have no sense of how or why they came to be shown to them. The turn to algorithmic curation has become known as ‘TikTokisation’, whereby the goal of every platform is to keep serving up whatever content seems likeliest to retain a user’s attention for another few seconds, no matter how useless, weird or unpleasant. ## **The Lost Golden Age** Here's a popular understory on the rise right now: we are living in an age of decadence and decline. Our civilisation was once great, but gradually it has been eroded. Our enemies have exploited our weaknesses and now attack us from within. But if we are courageous and pure-hearted enough to fight back, we can restore our society to its former greatness. This is, of course, the nostalgia narrative of MAGA, and of Farage urging the UK to "take our country back", and of white South Africans pining for the good old days when things were better (for them), and of tradwives, and of Putin describing himself as the new Peter the Great returning Russian land to the empire. It's not a new story. Mussolini, the first fascist, said his goal was to rebuild the glorious Roman Empire. Hitler? Same. The Third Reich was supposed to be the new German Empire, and if you’re wondering what the First Reich was — yep! Roman Empire[\[1\]](#fn1). Even today, you can’t throw a rock in Silicon Valley without hitting some techbro waxing poetic about Marcus Aurelius. Okes, people just really really love a Roman Empire. But the Lost Golden Age is a far older story. 1000-year old Hindu texts say we are living in the worst and most degenerate of times. The Torah tells of the Jews cast out of Israel lamenting the fall of the Temple. Homer's Iliad laments the lost age of heroes. Camelot is gone. Atlantis is sunk. The elves have gone into the West. Heck, the very first understory I was raised in was the story of The Fall: how we lived in Eden, then we lost it by sinning. Across cultures and centuries, this is one of the most fundamental stories we keep telling. It's such a common story because it's a compelling story. It captures our anxiety about the present, our disappointment, our sense that our lives aren't what we were promised they'd be (which is why it's a particularly common story amongst people who've lost relative status). But it's also a hopeful story. Unlike the utopia tale, which promises us we can build a world better than anything that's ever existed before, the nostalgia story gives us PROOF that the world can be better. See, the story says, the good world can exist, because it already existed. We just need to take it back. --- 1. Specifically, the Holy Roman Empire, which was itself an OG Roman Empire revival attempt. [↩︎](#fnref1) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/03/image.png) When I was a teenager, one version of the Lost Golden Age story I was OBSESSED with was the idea that a lost high-tech Atlantean society from Antarctica mapped the world and taught early civilisations how to build pyramids, or something. It's WILD how popular these books were in the 90s. Just in case you think bizarre conspiracy theories are a unique feature of the 2020s. But you know, there are lefty versions of this story too. I'm a total sucker for the tale of idealised matrilineal pre-colonial pre-agrarian societies living in perfect harmony with nature. I have a crunchy granola mom in me who secretly believes Western medicine is poison and thinks you should try chewing willow bark for that headache and that if your great-grandmother wouldn't recognise what you're eating, it's not real food. I complain all the time that my brain evolved to be friends with 119 people and harvest berries, so it's honestly rude that people expect me to reply to emails. I often grump about how the internet peaked in February 2004 when Facebook released the Poke button and it's all been downhill since. The funny thing about these narratives is that when I really interrogate them, I think they're absurd! Rationally, I'm THRILLED paracetamol and vaccines exist. And despite how difficult and weird the past five years have been, I still believe this is the best time to be alive in the whole of human history. If I was behind a veil of ignorance, and you asked me to choose any possible year to have been born, I'd probably choose this one, because it's the time I have the best statistical chance of surviving childhood and not dying of hunger/murder.[\[1\]](#fn1) But the understory of the Lost Golden Age exists in my unconscious regardless, and frames many of my instinctive interpretations of things going on around me. Maybe some of the eternal appeal of the Lost Golden Age story is just that we - personally - get old. Our joints start to creak, and the world we were taught to thrive in changes around us and teenagers tell us our clothes are uncool now, and no-one will tell us what the fuck is a skibidi, or if gyatt is a noun or an adjective. Increasingly, we find our own Golden Age in the past. --- 1. Maybe 30 years ago, to be safe. Who knows; the world could be swallowed up by a giant turtle god tomorrow. [↩︎](#fnref1) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/03/image-3.png) Like, I often find myself feeling grumpy about LLMs and then remind myself of this quote by Douglas Adams: *“I've come up with a set of rules that describe our reactions to technologies:* *1\. Anything that is in the world when you’re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works.* *2\. Anything that's invented between when you’re fifteen and thirty-five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it.* *3\. Anything invented after you're thirty-five is against the natural order of things."* ## Competing stories The problem with the Lost Golden Age story is precisely that it's a very compelling story, which means it's easily weaponised by people trying to gather power. There's a reason this is a favourite story amongst aspiring dictators and autocrats. The Lost Golden Age story sucks. But other understories have their problems, too. **Utopia stories**, applied to the real world, have lead to some of history's [worst mass deaths](https://failedutopia.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) when they've treated real human lives as instrumental means to an end, or tipped into totalitarian purity thinking. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/04/image-1.png) My personal utopia The understory that's most prominent in my own mind a lot of the time really sucks: what I can only describe as 2010s YA Dystopia. My brain instinctively interprets most world events as being the opening scenes of some *Hunger Games*\-Octavia Butler-*World War Z*\-Margaret Atwood-*Mad Max*\-*Last of Us* nightmare hell mashup scenario. This story really sucks, because it's The Fall without the promise of redemption. This story says: **we had our shot but we blew it**, we've destroyed our beautiful world and the dead wasteland apocalypse is inevitable now, the rich will laugh at us from their bunker orgies right until the moment there's a leak in their airlock and the robotic-fungi-viruses wipe them out too, and maybe that's for the best really, better in the end if all humans vanish off the earth so the cockroaches and Keith Richards can figure things out without us. It doesn't matter what the triangle's doing because all triangles are going to be dead in 20 years anyway. This doomerism is terrible. It's not what I rationally believe[\[1\]](#fn1). But it's an understory that lives in my brain rent free. If I'm not vigilant about it, it sneakily distorts everything I see in the world. It's not the only understory living in my unconscious. There are a bunch of half-baked tales squirming around down there. The story that says if someone's powerful they must be evil. The story that says the world is built on blood and theft. The story that says money is the only real form of power. The story that says things can never really be different to how they are. Stories make the world seem simpler than it is. Stories need conflict, so they divide the world into goodies and baddies. In the Western tradition, stories are usually about individual heroes going on individual quests, rather than being about collective action. But the world's not simple. And it's usually not individuals who change the world alone. --- 1. What I really believe about the world is a pretty boring Progress/Decline story: people can work hard to collectively build complex systems that gradually make things better, or they can fail to maintain those systems and things gradually will get worse, and this is sometimes punctuated by moments of quick disaster or breakthrough invention, but generally it's tended towards progress. As Max Roser said, "The world is awful. The world is much better. The world can be much better. All three statements are true at the same time." [↩︎](#fnref1) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/04/image.png) The Hero's Journey, illustration by [Esbjorn Jorsater](https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Esbjorn?ref=sambeckbessinger.com "User:Esbjorn") ## Different stories about the same feelings While our stories are different, the feeling underlying many of them is the same: anxiety. We're living through a time of extreme change. That makes people anxious. When change happens, we don't know if it's going to be good or bad. We just know that the models we use to predict what the future's going to be like, fail. And heck, there's a lot to be anxious about right now, almost everywhere. There's an autocratic takeover happening in the world's biggest economy. Many of the programmes supporting the poorest and most vulnerable people in the world have been suddenly defunded, undoing decades of progress, and people are dying of treatable illnesses and starvation. We're living through ecological collapse and climate disaster. 110,000ish dickheads held a racism jamboree in my city this weekend. There's a non-zero chance misaligned AI might wipe out all life on earth within the next decades, and a near-certainty it's going to seriously disrupt our economies. There are at least two active genocides unfolding (Sudan, Gaza). Most of us were stuck inside our homes for several years to avoid a plague and more of us than ever before are isolated and lonely. And maybe you interpret that anxiety through stories about billionaire tech oligarchs or about corrupt deepstate politicians or unchecked immigration or whatever. The anxiety's the same. When we find ourselves trapped in the most vicious arguments, the ones where the other person feels not only wrong, but monstrous, we're usually not disagreeing about facts. It's more fundamental: our underlying stories are in conflict, and increasingly, cast the other as villain.[\[1\]](#fn1) But it can be hard to recognise this is happening, because usually our understories are **un**conscious. How often, when we disagree, do we do so on the level of, "I think what's going on here is that you fundamentally believe the world is a place where people get what they deserve, and I believe that the world is a place where the weak are exploited?" How often do we argue explicitly on the level of the understory? How often do we even interrogate our own? I've been trying to pay more attention to my own subconscious stories about the world. And trying to understand better the understories of people who see the world differently to me. **That's not to say that all stories are equally true**. Or equally harmful. What I'm saying is that we have to talk about the understories themselves, not just the issues we're applying them to, if we have any hope of understanding each other, let alone changing anyone else's mind. --- 1. This was my main takeaway from Naomi Klein's superb *Doppelganger*, which I continue to be obsessed with. [↩︎](#fnref1) --- Practically, here are some ways I'm applying this to my own life: 1. I'm actively **slowing my media consumption**, reducing the amount of day-to-day news I read and replacing it with more deep analysis, long essays and non-fiction books, seeking out more content that helps me test and refine my understories rather than just feeding my brain more animations that reinforce the stories it already believes and making me feel afraid. Like I recently enjoyed [this analysis by Naomi Klein](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/ng-interactive/2025/apr/13/end-times-fascism-far-right-trump-musk?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about the apocalyptic understory motivating some of the American far right, and [this piece in the LRB](https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v47/n11/william-davies/tv-meets-fruit-machine?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about how TikTok's driving the rise of Farage. 2. I'm making an effort to diversify my media sources. For instance, I've been seeking out more analysis about parts of the world I know less about, like[*The China Project*](https://thechinaproject.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [*The Continent*](https://www.thecontinent.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (I'd love more recommendations, if you have any!). America is not the world. [Alex Hochuli](https://damagemag.com/2020/06/17/the-triumph-of-american-idealism/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) wrote a great piece about this back in 2020, calling this the "triumph of American idealism", and [Rebecca Davis makes a similar point](https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/article/2025-09-14-charlie-kirk-may-have-fans-in-sa-but-his-views-are-inconsequential-here/?dm%5Fsource=dm%5Fblock%5Fgrid&dm%5Fmedium=card%5Flink&dm%5Fcampaign=main&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about South Africans trying to import Charlie Kirk rhetoric right now. 3. I'm trying very hard to spend less time living inside the internet and more time living in my real life, with full-dimensional real people, trying to have deeper conversations with them about the stories they see the world through. When I find myself getting drawn into arguments with them about *facts*, I remind myself of Jonathan Swift's maxim that **you can't reason a person out of a position they never reasoned themselves into**, and instead try to probe at the feelings that lie underneath. 4. Talking about the real world, where it's necessary, I am also looking for ways to use my white body to help protect people who are under actual attack, and I'm supporting calls to prosecute people spreading hate speech. De-platforming hate and calls for violence isn't censorship, it's the basic hygiene of a functioning democracy. [We cannot be tolerant of intolerance](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox%5Fof%5Ftolerance?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). 5. I'm trying to tell better and more hopeful stories about the future. Because stories have an uncanny way of becoming real. I don't know, friends. It's hard not to feel gloomy and confused about the state of the world. It's ... a weird time. Wishing you hopeful and loving stories, Sam A soundtrack for this newsletter ### Frolics URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/frolics/ Last updated: 2025-09-12T11:30:02.000Z Hello loves! It's been a minute. [I said my goal this year](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/since-feeling-is-first/) was to EMBRACE MORE FROLICKING as a lifestyle, and boy, have I. I spent the summer gallivanting outside, cuddling trees, swimming with octopuses, embracing my loved ones, getting up to goofs. I have also been writing a ton, in the gaps between frolic hours. I've finished copy edits on *Femme Feral* and entirely rewrote and updated *Manage Your Money Like a F-cking Grownup*, both of which will be on bookshop shelves next year. I've made good progress on my next novel *Cuckoobird*. I'm writing now from a cottage window-seat in the wily windy moors of Yorkshire where I'm [on a glorious writing retreat](https://www.writeclublondon.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) working on a film script. It's been a pretty damn magical year so far, in my little life. The world outside, though ... yeesh. Back in April, I started writing a Very Serious newsletter about the Very Serious Events taking place in world politics. It wasn't a particularly good piece, mostly just a howl of bafflement and powerlessness and anxiety, but I kept trying to turn it into something that would MAKE IT ALL MAKE SENSE, adding more and more points and counterpoints, *and then there were footnotes*, and it all just got woefully out of hand and I was in far too deep. Every time I tried to write a new newsletter, I'd open up that Very Serious piece and argue with myself some more, coming to exactly zero helpful conclusions. I finally decided, fuck it, I'm just going to send it, because I remain baffled and anxious and powerless-feeling about the wider world, but I've also missed you, and I wanted to tell you about a bunch of stuff I've been obsessed with recently, and I need that turd to stop clogging the newsletter pipeline. I'll send it out next week. In the meantime, here's some fun nonsense I wanted to share with you! ## Harris's List of Covent Garden Ladies I feel it's very important you know that in the 1700s there used to be an annual printed guide to the sex workers of Covent Garden, like *Platter's Wine Guide* for boobs. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/09/Harris_covent_garden_ladies.jpg) An exact description of the most celebrated ladies of pleasure... The descriptions are incredible. Basically I want to be best friends with all these babes and sing bawdy songs together with them in the pub. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/09/image.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/09/Pasted-image-20250820101228-1.png) [Read the entries from the 1788 ](https://www.pascalbonenfant.com/18c/harris/index.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)edition[ here](https://www.pascalbonenfant.com/18c/harris/index.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ## The F-Show Feel like sitting through an hour long talk about money? I didn't think so. What about a financial literacy course *hidden inside* a stand-up comedy set starring Mpho ‘Popps’ Modikoane, Vafa Naraghi and Khanyisa Bunu? Last year, I got to work behind-the-scenes with Sanlam on *The F-Show*, a comedy show about financial foibles which sneakily smuggles some real money principles between the lols. South Africans, the whole thing's now on Showmax. It was an utter privilege to collaborate with these three comedians (and the team behind them), who are all razor-sharp craftsmen at the top of their game. Most people don't want to talk about money, but shame and fear curdle in the dark. Humour's a crowbar that can crack open even the most painful topics. I hope this show gets you laughing, and maybe gets you talking. ![Mpho ‘Popps’ Modikoane, Vafa Naraghi and Khanyisa Bunu for the F-Show](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/09/Screenshot-2025-09-12-at-10.46.07.png) ## Learning poems off by heart Phrases you learn by heart become a part of you in a way that things you just *read* don't. They shape your habits of thinking. They're the words that come most easily into your mind when you describe the world, so they shape how you see the world*.* I learned a lot of poems off by heart as a teenager (it was Pretoria; there was nothing else to do). I was a weird little emo witch so obviously it was 90% Sylvia Plath (*"I know the bottom, she says, I know it with my great tap root..."*) but thank goodness enough e.e.cummings and Mary Oliver imprinted that some cheerier lines do come to mind as I go about my day. These days, the words that come most readily into my mind are pop song lyrics, not a bad situation, but I've been making an effort to try to learn new poems to enrich my default language. Emily Dickinson's great for this – short, punchy, rhythmic. *To make a prairie it takes a clover and one bee,* *One clover, and a bee.* *And revery.* *The revery alone will do,* *If bees are few.* The trick is that you have to say them out loud. Use your mouth, your breath, your throat, your tongue ... your eyes and brain are not enough. What are the poems, songs, sayings that you know by heart? How do they enrich your thinking? I'd love to hear them. Just hit reply. \-- I've missed you! Wishing you poem, frolics, and good company at the pub, Sam ### Tools for SA homebuyers URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/tools-for-sa-homebuyers/ Last updated: 2026-08-26T13:48:42.000Z Done the [rent vs. buy maths](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/should-you-keep-renting-or-buy-a-house/) on your situation and decided it's time to buy a house? Congratulations (and I hope you like admin!). Here are some nifty local tools that might help. - [**Property24**](https://www.property24.com/pretoria/property-trends/1?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)offers a wealth of property area trends reports, including what the average asking price is versus the final sale price in each area (essential info when you're deciding what offer to submit on a house you want to buy). They cost < R100 per report. Totally worth it. - [Lightstone Property](https://corporate.lightstone.co.za/lightstone-for-me?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) offers great reports and insights on the area you're thinking of buying in, or the specific property, for a few hundred rand. - [Ooba's bond calculator](https://www.ooba.co.za/home-loan/bond-repayment-calculator/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is the simplest to use I've found. It will help you estimate how much you'll likely pay on your home loan. - [Ooba's transfer costs calculator](https://www.ooba.co.za/home-loan/transfer-cost-calculator/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) will help you estimate bond registration and transfer costs. - [Betterbond](https://www.betterbond.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) gets you pre-approved by multiple home loan providers before you start your property hunt. ### Name a character in my novel after your worst ex-boss (or a nemesis of your choice) URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/name-a-character-in-my-novel-after-your-worst-ex-boss-or-a-nemesis-of-your-choice/ Last updated: 2025-05-21T15:13:08.000Z Hello loves! I'm interrupting my recent radio silence (sorryyyy!) to bring you a delicious opportunity for some **PETTY REVENGE**, all in service of a great cause. Lauren Beukes and Jeanette Ng are [running an auction](https://www.32auctions.com/genrefortrans?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (Genre for Trans) to raise money for trans rights organisations in South Africa and the UK. If you're a fan of sci-fi, horror or fantasy, you'll find some incredible goodies like a rare galley proof of [*The Eye of the World*](https://www.32auctions.com/organizations/128726/auctions/181943/auction%5Fitems/6196512?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Robert Jordan (the first in the *Wheel of Time* series), a hand-adorned edition of [Nnedi Okorafor's *Death of the Author*](https://www.32auctions.com/organizations/128726/auctions/181943/auction%5Fitems/6206960?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), or a [crochet axolotl](https://www.32auctions.com/organizations/128726/auctions/181943/auction%5Fitems/6203131?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). *South Africans, I'm so sorry, but that link doesn't work in SA without a VPN.* I'm offering something extremently ridiculous: ## **Name a character in *Femme Feral* after your worst boss** **Ever wish you could trap your least favourite ex-boss in a novel and make bad things happen to him? Now’s your chance.** In my upcoming horror novel *Femme Feral* (coming 2026 with Bloomsbury and Viking Penguin), there’s a uniquely hateable character currently called Sean, a tech CEO full of messianic TEDTalk energy and zero competence. He’s the kind of guy who: - Forces staff into a three-hour “Inspiration Jam” that’s just him free-associating about Kurdish dance and blockchain. - Asks the only woman in the room (an engineer) to take minutes. - Shows up in random meetings uninvited to spout nonsense phrases like “We need to create the Uber of happiness” and “Let’s take a human-centred approach to this”. - Steals his employees' ideas and presents them as his own. - Is made CEO over our very competent protagonist, the woman who everyone says “actually runs everything around here” but doesn’t ever promote. **Sean is a bullshit artist, a giant throbbing ego, and a jerk**. Does he remind you of someone? You can rename him. That’s right: the winning bidder gets to name the novel’s antagonist after their worst boss/ex/frenemy. Like how Michelangelo painted his nemesis into hell, or how Kendrick lyrically destroyed Drake, or the entire discography of Taylor Swift. Petty, harmless, delicious revenge you can savour forever. And yes, terrible things will happen to this character... 😈 **The fine print:** - First name only (I don’t want to get sued). - Must be a male name. - I’ll try to sneak in a nod to your real-life foe’s wardrobe or speech quirks if I can, but I can’t rewrite anything major at this point. - If I can't make the name work for some reason, I’ll refund you. - Your secret’s safe with me, but if you *want them to know*, I can thank you by name in the acknowledgements. **SOUTH AFRICANS:** Annoyingly, the auction website's not available in South Africa (unless you use a VPN), but never fear! If you want to nab this, just [**email me**](mailto:hello@sambeckbessinger.com) and tell me how much you'd like to bid, and I'll manually record your offer. [Bid on naming rights!](https://www.32auctions.com/organizations/128726/auctions/181943/auction%5Fitems/6230545?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) The auction closes on 7 June. GO GO GO! I'll send you a proper newsletter soon, promise! Wishing you tasty revenge on all your enemies, Sam ### Company URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/company/ Last updated: 2025-01-31T17:12:36.000Z Hello loves! In the words of [a Kaveh Akbar poem](https://apoemaday.tumblr.com/post/674030488568184832/wild-pear-tree?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), it's been January for months in both directions. I've just returned from Cardiff, where I was workshopping a feature film idea with an extremely lovely indie animation studio and trying valiantly to resist buying every single [Lucy & Yak](https://lucyandyak.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) jumpsuit. I also attempted to climb a mountain in the Brecon Beacons, but Storm Eowyn blew me right back down again. Britain remains cold and grey and dreary, and the wider world feels insane right now, and I'm counting the minutes until February 13th when I'm going on holiday to a place with actual SUN. In the meantime, here are three things that are injecting some much-needed colour to my life. ## **All Fours - Miranda July** When I'm writing a novel, I avoid reading anything too similar in genre or concept lest I commit subconscious plagiarism. But now that I'm almost (?) done with [*Femme Ferale*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/upcoming-femme-feral/), I'm finally catching up on all the brilliant women-in-a-midlife-crisis novels that have come out recently. [***All Fours***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/197798168-all-fours?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Miranda July? Oh my word. A revelation. It feels like a tome of secrets handed down by a woman a decade older about what happens in your forties. There are lines in this book so uncomfortably honest it feels like they must be illegal to say. Also - sjoe - it's obscenely hot. I felt like I needed to read it under a blanket in the dead of night lest a stranger on the train peek over my shoulder and call the authorities (I see people reading *A Court of Thorns and Roses* on the Tube all the time, and I always think, *Ma'am! We are in public! Keep your smut at home!*). Basically, it's a story about a 45-year-old who embarks on a roadtrip across America. She only makes it to a motel 30-minutes from her home, but this turns out to be far enough away for her to blow up her entire life. It's a meditation on desire and ageing and the costs of living authentically, and I've heard there's a secret online community of women who read the book and are now making dramatic life-changes, if that's not intriguing enough. > “If birth was being thrown energetically up into the air, we aged as we rose. At the height of our ascent we were middle-aged and then we fell for the rest of our lives, the whole second half. Falling might take just as long, but it was nothing like rising. The whole time you were rising you could not imagine what came next in your particular, unique journey; you could not see around the corner. Whereas falling ended the same way for everyone.” ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/01/image-4.png) ## *Company* On an appropriately almost-February note, I've been obsessively replaying various recordings of Stephen Sondheim's musical *Company* recently. The plot's simple: it's the 35th birthday of perpetual singleton Bobby, and all his friends are harassing him about why he hasn't gotten married yet. Bobby interrogates his friends on their experiences about love and relationships, and that's the whole story! But Sondheim, being Sondheim, turns this into one of the most profound explorations of love and commitment ever written. Here are, objectively, the best recordings of the iconic songs (fellow musicals nerds, I await your rebuttals): - [Patti LuPone's version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTsuK%5FHGFJg&ab%5Fchannel=BroadwayPlus&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) of "Ladies Who Lunch", a scornful rant about rich women who idle their lives away, is untouchable. - [Raul Esparza](https://open.spotify.com/track/4GDSnxxtmIyVS4Twl7Y7UB?si=5e134a42ba554af9&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), I feel, does the perfect version of the exquisite finale "Being Alive" (although [Adam Driver's](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWengrlMpok&ab%5Fchannel=Mihrimah&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) performance in *Marriage Story* is also delicious). - "Sorry-Grateful" is the wisest song anyone's ever written about long-term relationships, and [Stephen Colbert](https://youtu.be/5neLlXlLlGI?si=pFrRfh4HCC5NzsgO&t=270&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)'s rendition is perfect. - [Madeline Kahn's rendition](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrRDrz53Q1E&ab%5Fchannel=BestArtsSondheim&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) of a bride with cold feet ("Not Getting Married Today" is delightfully unhinged (Jonathan Bailey of *Wicked* megafame did my favourite version in the gender-flipped 2018 London version, but there aren't any good recordings online). ## A *Manage Your Money* update Somehow it's been EIGHT YEARS since I finished the South African version of [*Manage Your Money Like A F-cking Grownup*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/manage-your-money-like-a-f-cking-grownup/), so we're working on an update! It won't be out until next year, but I'm excited to expand the sections about home ownership, budgeting for kids and ageing parents, and adjusting for the horrific inflation of the past five years. I'll also be tackling changes in the financial world like crypto and two-tier retirement savings. More than anything, I'm looking forward to weaving in the wisdom I've gathered from the hundreds of hours of conversations with real people I've had since the book came out - and from eight more years of surviving capitalism myself. If you've read the book recently, I'd loveyour help. What are the sections in the book that you wish were expanded? Was anything confusing? Are there burning money questions the book doesn't answer? Hit reply and let me know! \-- Wishing you good company in the final hours of this endless January, Sam ### Since feeling is first URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/since-feeling-is-first/ Last updated: 2025-01-19T10:17:37.000Z Happy 2025, loves <3 January is a silly time for resolutions. Here in the northern hemisphere, the weather's no good for anything except eating biscuits on the couch, and shops trying to sell you tiny exercise shorts while it's -1 degrees and dark at 4pm are surely joking. Down south, it's a bloody waste to be tethered to a laptop trying to achieve goals while the world is lovely and birds are singing and flowers and friends are inviting you to dance with them. Absolutely not. The year should begin in March, as it used to, or perhaps September, and consist of [thirteen equal months](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International%5FFixed%5FCalendar?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) like a reasonable system. January resolutions as a notion are absurd. > No animal, according to the rules of animal-etiquette, is ever expected to do anything strenuous, or heroic, or even moderately active during the off-season of winter. All are sleepy - some actually asleep.Kenneth Grahame, *The Wind in the Willows* Yet, I'm a fan of any opportunity to reflect on one's life. I spent some time last week writing a list of my best memories of 2024, and felt overwhelmed by how much I have to be grateful for. But the thing that really defined 2024 for me was a lot of difficult emotional work, i.e. spending a lot of time in therapy UGH. This was all very healthy and yay personal growth and whatever, but also, feelings: eww. I feel like I've been carrying around an invisible backpack, and last year I sat down and unzipped it and had a long-overdue look at the contents - there was some pretty repulsive curdled muck at the bottom, like when you forget sandwiches at the bottom of your schoolbag and excavate a parcel of soft mould in clingwrap many months later. Excavating the backpack was gross, but I feel much lighter now. So recently, I've been **thinking a lot about feelings**, which is a very Sam sentence. I'm distrustful of feelings by nature, far more likely to intellectualise my problems and make lists and action plans than to have a little cry, which is sometimes a much faster route to feeling better. I'd gotten so good at managing emotions I mostly don't notice when I have them. This works very well 99% of the time, except that the 1% of the time the system fails, it fails catastrophically. My emotion-management system failed last year sometime around April, and it's taken me many months to put myself back together. So, I'm trying to learn to be more curious about my emotions, rather than getting immediately annoyed with them and shoving them into the backpack. Take **rage**, for instance. Rage is a foundational emotion. It's the infant's cry, the primal expression of "life has disappointed me". Freud called it the **death drive**, the motivation for aggression and destruction, as primal as the **life drive**, which ... draws our eyes towards butts. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/01/image-2.png) Nicole Eisenman, "Were Artist", 2007 All children begin as aggressive little creatures, as anyone who's spent time with a kicking, biting toddler will tell you. [Regardless of gender, physical aggression peaks between 2-4](https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/10.1086/711705?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#:~:text=By%20puberty%20there%20is%20a,is%20enhanced%20by%20prenatal%20testosterone.), but then diverges as girls learn more quickly than boys to suppress violence (in favour of writing cruel notes about each other and excluding each other from skipping games, in my experience). [For many women](https://www.thetimes.com/article/caitlin-moran-me-drugs-and-the-perimenopause-mpzn2cdh2?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), rage comes exploding out of the backpack again around perimenopause, uglier than ever from all that time curdling with the sandwiches. Some of it's hormones, probably, and some of it's the impossible burdens lumped onto many middle-aged women's shoulders, but midlife is the moment the lifelong strategies people use to suppress/sublimate/ignore their anger often begin to fail. And learning to control and redirect our aggression is the foundation of society! Aggression is often (momentarily) **satisfying**, but often not **good**, and rage is aggression's cheerleader. We can't forget that the impulse for aggression hides in all of us, just waiting for someone to say, "Yeah, go ahead, **that guy** totally deserves it." In many parts of the world, we only stopped doing public executions in the 20th century, and huge crowds would watch because it was entertaining. 20,000 people gathered for Rainey Bethea's hanging in 1936 in the USA. As long as we're sure the victim deserves it, violence is fun. Like everyone else, I was gleefully sharing [Luigi Mangione](https://hyperallergic.com/974040/the-meme-glorification-of-luigi-mangione/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) memes a few weeks ago. Each of us carries a shard of cruelty in our hearts. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/01/image-1.png) "The Idle Prentice", a 1747 engraving by Hogarth showing the crowd gathering for a public hanging. I'm distrustful of rage because it's slippery. That "life has disappointed me" feeling can be an appropriate response to real oppression or violence, but it can just as easily be [the tantrum of the privileged experiencing a taste of equality](https://weeklysift.com/2012/09/10/the-distress-of-the-privileged/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (what [Myisha Cherry](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57421841-the-case-for-rage?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=q6om0JCLhJ&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) describes as being angry about our place in the hierarchy, as opposed to being angry that there's a hierarchy at all). The **emotion is the same**, and actually, when we honestly examine our own angry feelings, we'll probably discover a messy tangle of moral and selfish and healthy and ugly and violent imperatives. Without rage, we'd probably never be motivated to change anything about our lives or about society. Rage says, "this is not okay!" But rage also closes off our ability to contemplate any competing points of view. Rage traps us in our certainty that we are **right**. When you're furious about something, are you asking yourself, "is there more context I don't understand?" No, you're fantasising about throwing bedbugs through someone's window, or more directly, punching them in the face. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/01/image-3.png) Artemisia Gentileschi's "Judith Slaying Holofornes" (1612). There's debate about this, but some art historians have suggested that Gentileschi drew herself as Judith and her real-world mentor, who was tried for and convicted of her rape, as Holofernes. I'm reading Naomi Klein's superb [*Doppelganger: A Trip into the Mirror World*](https://www.theguardian.com/books/2023/sep/09/doppelganger-a-trip-into-the-mirror-world-by-naomi-klein-review-a-case-of-mistaken-identity?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which is the book that's finally helping me understand what the heck's going on in American and British politics right now. She describes how the unsettling thing for "the left" about what's happening to "the right" isn't just the degree to which they seem to have bought into absurd conspiracies (e.g. the Covid vaccine is a mind-control agent; or trickle-down economics), but how certain "they" are that "we" are the ones living in clown cuckoo city. And without reverting to simplistic both-sidesism, Klein points out how these narratives about the world increasingly define themselves in opposition to each other, building from the blind spots of the other worldview. Anger shuts down our curiosity about other people's experiences. Rage traps us in our own stories. > “Like my doppelganger projecting all of our surveillance fears on a vaccine app, conspiracy theorists get the facts wrong but often get the feelings right” - Naomi Klein But just suppressing rage doesn't work. Rage ferments in the backpack. Of the approximately 7,000 psychology books I read this year, my favourite was [*All the Rage: Why Anger Drives the World*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/203308825-all-the-rage?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=zq4sJiWvX3&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by psychoanalyst Josh Cohen. He describes how some people (me) repress anger so effectively, they stop being aware of it entirely. Instead, it sneaks out sideways, showing up as chronic pain, addiction, chronic people-pleasing or self-harm. A friend of mine used to talk about how she’d experienced depression as “anger turned inwards” and believed the flashes of rage she began to experience in her thirties were the parts of herself that refused to allow her to do that any more. > "If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you." - The Gospel of Thomas I've found it helpful to think about **emotions** as being different to **feelings**. In this model, emotions are a **physical reaction** you have in your body; like experiencing anger as clenched fists and a beating heartrate, or experiencing disgust as nausea and cringing. You turn the emotion into **feeling** when you intellectualise it ("that asshole just bumped into me because he's a jerk, I'm so *mad*";"that person is *disgusting* because they're wearing Crocs, eww"). So if we were being pedantic, instead of telling people "your feelings are valid" we would say, "your **emotions** are valid; but hey, your feelings might be wrong. They're probably at least incomplete."\* Feelings are stories, and no story can encompass the whole of the truth. *\*(Please don't actually say that to other people, good grief! And let's be especially aware of our tendency to dismiss the subjective accounts of some types of people more quickly than others too, yeah?)* But we can't skip over the **emotions are valid** part. Emotions are facts, in and of themselves: they're a physical experience, and they're useful signals. We ignore them at our peril. I'm trying to learn to tune into my emotions more, which means practicing mindfulness (my therapist recommends [Headspace](https://www.headspace.com/headspace-subscription?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Calm](https://www.calm.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), yoga is also good). Tuning into body and mind, letting myself feel what I'm feeling. I hate it! It's the worst! It is, also, annoyingly helpful. But then we have to go further, and **be curious about the feelings,** too. Invite ourselves to step out of our own simple stories and interrogate the truth of them. Listening to others. Explore what the emotion might really be telling us. Asking what we are actually being invited to **change** about our lives or the world. Not doing this leaves us vulnerable to demagogues who want to give us simple outlets for our emotions, that don't require us doing anything difficult at all. Naomi Klein again: > “Like my doppelganger projecting all of our surveillance fears on a vaccine app, conspiracy theorists get the facts wrong but often get the feelings right ... This might explain why the conspiratorial claims in the Mirror World so often seem to contradict one another. For this new political configuration, convincing people of their unproven theories was never the real point—it was only ever a tool. The point, consciously or not, is to foster denial and avoidance. The point is not to have to do hard and uncomfortable things in the face of hard and uncomfortable realities, whether Covid, or climate change, or the fact that our nations were forged in genocide and have never engaged in a remotely serious process of making repair. Denial is so much easier than looking inward, or backward, or forward; so much easier than change. But denial needs narratives, cover stories, and that is what conspiracy culture is providing.” Charlie Chaplain's speech from **The Great Dictator,* a film that feels extremely relevant in our current political moment (Charlie Chaplain was a child rapist, to heck that guy, but this is a great speech nonetheless). Anyway, so last year I spent a lot of time mucking about in my ugliest feelings. Dancing with my death drive. Boxing with my shadow. It was helpful, but hard. This year, in place of any pragmatic resolution, I'm hoping to balance this out a bit and direct my energies to the "life drive". I'm calling 2025 my **Year of Romance**. Not in the simple sense of smooching cuties (although I do intend to do a lot of smooching of one particular cutie, with whom October will be my 10th anniversary). I mean romance in the broader sense, the romance of the everyday, romance as curbing my rationalist bent and trying to celebrate the truth and beauty of raw emotion, romance as vitality, as mystery, connection, art, passion, depth of feeling. Romance, perhaps, as hope. Basically, channeling this old classic by e e cummings: since feeling is first who pays any attention to the syntax of things will never wholly kiss you; wholly to be a fool while Spring is in the world my blood approves, and kisses are a better fate than wisdom lady i swear by all flowers. Don’t cry —the best gesture of my brain is less than your eyelids’ flutter which says we are for each other: then laugh, leaning back in my arms for life’s not a paragraph And death i think is no parenthesis \-- What about you, loves? What's the energy you're trying to bring with you into the new year? I'd love to hear about it - just hit reply. Wishing you kisses, rage rooms, and an unladen backpack, Sam \-- ## Feelings resources - Obviously, therapy can be a great space for exploring your feelings. Therapy's expensive yo, but it's cheaper than having a breakdown. South Africans, [The Counselling Hub](https://www.counsellinghub.org.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) offers affordable therapy sessions. - Parents of teenage girls, [*You Don't Understand Me: The Young Woman's Guide to Life*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60833127-you-don-t-understand-me?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F23) by Tara Porter is a fantastic guide to navigating the emotional storm of those age 13-16 years. - Contrapoints' video essay ["Envy"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPhrTOg1RUk&t=320s&ab%5Fchannel=ContraPoints&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is one of her finest works about the interplay between our emotions and our political system. - I cannot overstate how great Naomi Klein's [*Doppelganger*](https://www.theguardian.com/books/2023/sep/09/doppelganger-a-trip-into-the-mirror-world-by-naomi-klein-review-a-case-of-mistaken-identity?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)is! It's very US-Canadian-UK-centric, but an insightful and nuanced and important analysis of what the hell's happening over here, politically. ## Some other lovely things recently Between finishing off the latest round of [*Femme Feral*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/rich-mans-frug/)edits (which is very much a novel about the shadow self), it's been cosyville around here. Some random things I've loved recently: - Baking all the [NYTimes Christmas Cookies](https://www.nytimes.com/2024/12/01/dining/2024-christmas-cookies.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). I've been especially into these [lemon-turmeric crinkle cookies](https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1026302-lemon-turmeric-crinkle-cookies?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - Anna Jones' [roast grapes on toast](https://www.theguardian.com/food/2018/oct/12/anna-jones-recipes-grapes-tarragon-rocket-salad-goats-cheese-toast?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- I eat them with Julienne Bruno Superstraccia, the best best vegan cheese. - I got to see RaMell Ross discussing his new film [*Nickel Boys*](https://www.theguardian.com/film/2024/sep/28/nickel-boys-review-intensely-moving-story-of-surviving-a-racist-reform-school?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)at my fave local indie cinema ([the Rio](https://www.riocinema.org.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)). It's a transcendent film about teenage boys being sent to a racist "reform school" in 1960s in the US, all shot in first-person point of view. It's extraordinary, and I hope you like weeping. - Londoners, [Matthew Bourne's queer *Swan Lake*](https://www.sadlerswells.com/whats-on/new-adventures-matthew-bournes-swan-lake-the-next-generation/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)is on at Sadler's Wells for just a few more days. It's great! I've been [obsessively listening to this Russian State Symphony](https://open.spotify.com/track/4vSdYf8zbPXtxKU1U0KnPj?si=d6d98f5c111a4e2a&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) recording at top volume (thanks Rachel). - Everyone who responded when I told you I was [getting into crochet](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/a-learning-path-for-crochet/) last year, I've now progressed to knitting, see what you've done, I hope you're happy. Please send me your favourite beginner-friendly patterns, so far all I've managed is a wonky dishcloth. ### Favourite children's books of the 21st century URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/favourite-childrens-picture-books-of-the-21st-century/ Last updated: 2024-12-11T16:26:58.000Z Hello loves! One of the best parts of my job [teaching creative writing](https://www.bathspa.ac.uk/our-people/sam-beckbessinger/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is getting to spend a lot of time thinking about my favourite children's books and what makes them wonderful. Last year, I got to vote on this question for the BBC's "[100 Greatest Children's Books of All Time](https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20230522-the-100-greatest-childrens-books-of-all-time?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)" list - it was an impossible task to choose just ten to vote for, but I do think the final list is pretty great. I love a list. [Umberto Eco once said](https://www.spiegel.de/international/zeitgeist/spiegel-interview-with-umberto-eco-we-like-lists-because-we-don-t-want-to-die-a-659577.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), "The list is the origin of culture ... \[because it aims\] to make infinity comprehensible." I'm so addicted to list-making that my psychologist once gave me a temporary ban on making to-do lists. She didn't say anything about making booklists, though! LOOPHOLE! Anyway, here's a longer list of my favourite children's and teen books. Note, these are my **personal faves**, not the ones I think are objectively the best books for kids. If you're busy with Xmas shopping, I hope it gives you some ideas. Some notes: - I'm cutting off everything published before 2000, because you don't need me to tell you about *Where the Wild Things Are, His Dark Materials, The Little Prince*, and *Winnie the Pooh*. This also means I can strategically avoid discussing a certain magical wizard. - I'm excluding graphic novels, comics and manga, simply because they're formats I'm less familiar with. Enjoy! ### **Picture books for 0-6 year-olds (ish)** - Rhyming **Julia Donaldson** is a one-woman children's publishing empire, but she bloody deserves to be. Every child should own a copy of [***The Gruffalo***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1013383.The%5FGruffalo?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F12) (technically 1999; sue me), but all her books are bangers. Particular faves are [***The Hospital Dog***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/55850106-the-hospital-dog?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F12)(2020), [***Room on the Broom***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/177246.Room%5Fon%5Fthe%5FBroom?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F17) (2001)and [***Tiddler***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/7281298-tiddler?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F7)(2007). - [***It’s a Tiger!***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13792594-it-s-a-tiger?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F13) by David LaRochelle (2012). A hilariously unexpected adventure involving a tiger that keeps appearing where you least expect it. Prepare to be begged for a thousand re-reads. - [***Pip & Egg***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58416402-pip-egg?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F9) by Alex Latimer (2021). It's difficult to choose my favourite Latimer book - they're all so witty - but *Pip & Egg* is a story about how friendship can persist even as we change, and I often have to secretly dry my eyes afterwards. [***The Duck Never Blinks***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/61317626-the-duck-never-blinks?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F21)(2023) is another great one: try winning a staring contest against an illustrated duck. - [***Julián is a Mermaid*** ](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/26532714-juli-n-is-a-mermaid?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=vzcbto1VB8&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)by Jessica Love (2018). A lushly illustrated, heartmelting tale about a boy embracing his true self and feeling seen. - [***Ten Delicious Teachers***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58726543-ten-delicious-teachers?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F22) by Ross Montgomery (2021). A zany counting book about teachers on a walk through the woods, with an unfortunate surprise waiting for them. One for the kids with a dark sense of humour (i.e. most kids). - [***Cat Secrets***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/8726737-cat-secrets?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F11) by Jef Czekaj (2011). A book where you, dear reader, must prove your worthiness to learn *cat secrets*. Spoiler: You’ll fail, but you’ll laugh trying. - [***The Book With No Pictures***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20821299-the-book-with-no-pictures?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F25) by B.J. Novak (2014). Picture books are scripts for the world's most exhausted actors. This book really *gets* that, and turns the adult reader into a clown forced to make absurd sound effects. One of the most fun read-aloud books. - [***I Want My Hat Back***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11233988-i-want-my-hat-back?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F18) by Jon Klassen (2011). Stunning illustrations and deadpan humour that appeals as much to grownups as their kids. The sequels [*This Is Not My Hat*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13531024-this-is-not-my-hat?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (2012) and [*We Found a Hat*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/28473874-we-found-a-hat?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)(2016) are just as sly. Klassen also teamed up with Mac Barnett for the equally fabulous Shapes series (start with [*Triangle*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/31247841-triangle?ref=rae%5F1)*,* 2017). - [***We Are in a Book!***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/7846067-we-are-in-a-book?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F16) by Mo Willems (2010). Meta as heck, with Elephant and Piggie realising they’re characters in a book. Willems created one of my favourite shows as a kid, [*Sheep in the Big City*](https://www.google.com/search?q=sheep+in+the+big+city&rlz=1C5CHFA%5FenGB1034GB1035&oq=sheep+in+the+big+city&gs%5Flcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqCggAEAAY4wIYgAQyCggAEAAY4wIYgAQyBwgBEC4YgAQyBwgCEAAYgAQyBwgDEAAYgAQyBwgEEAAYgAQyBwgFEAAYgAQyBwgGEAAYgAQyBwgHEAAYgAQyBwgIEAAYgAQyBwgJEC4YgATSAQgyMjk2ajBqN6gCALACAA&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&ref=sambeckbessinger.com#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:cd2b1fb7,vid:p9zzveV95KE,st:0), which has the same offbeat charm. His bigger hit, [***Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus!***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/191113.Don%5Ft%5FLet%5Fthe%5FPigeon%5FDrive%5Fthe%5FBus%5F?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)(2003), is also fab. Also check out his ["Lunchtime Doodles"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmzjCPQv3y8&ab%5Fchannel=TheKennedyCenter&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) series on Youtube - a treat for budding young artists. - [***Here We Are***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35169327-here-we-are?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F2%5F11)by Oliver Jeffers (2017). Jeffers is better known for his gently funny [***The Day the Crayons Quit***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/16101018-the-day-the-crayons-quit?ref=rae%5F9)(with Drew Daywalt 2013), but I adore this more poignant and existential book about humanity's place in the universe. - [***Nell Plants a Tree***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60877574-nell-plants-a-tree?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=APQRTFhslR&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Anne Wynter (2023). A gentle, lyrical story about a girl named Nell and the tree she plants, told across generations. A quiet, beautiful story about intergenerational love, perfect for bedtime. - [***Press Here***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9677870-press-here?ref=rae%5F13) by Hervé Tullet (2010). A simple concept that turns a book into interactive magic. Press the dots, follow the instructions, and watch the pages come alive. It’s like a screen-free iPad. - [***Duck, Death and the Tulip***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/12666682-duck-death-and-the-tulip?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=08QBqDWvjt&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Wolf Erlbruch (2006). An unforgettably moving, simple story about a duck who strikes up a friendship with Death. A gentle, age-appropriate introduction to the topic. Hide tissues in your sleeve. - [***Oi Frog!***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20987456-oi-frog?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=pj7px1K5Eo&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)byKes Gray (2014)**.** Cats sit on mats, hares sit on chairs, mules sit on stools and gophers sit on sofas. But Frog does *not* want to sit on a log. The illustrations are as silly as the increasingly absurd rhymes. - [***A Pig Parade is a Terrible Idea***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/7171665-a-pig-parade-is-a-terrible-idea?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=z8WDZGar0J&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Michael Ian Black (2010). A deadpan look at why, despite how cute pigs are, a pig parade would be an utter disaster. It's a great teaching book. - Many of my all-time favourite children's picture books were published by South African nonprofit [Book Dash](https://bookdash.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and can be read for free online. It's hard to choose, but special faves include[*Where is Lulu?*](https://bookdash.org/books/where-is-lulu-by-mohale-mashigo-nkosingiphile-mazibuko-and-clyde-beech/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)(Mohale Mashigo, Clyde Beech and Nkosingiphile Mazibuko) about a child hiding to get out of returning library books; [*And Also!*](https://bookdash.org/books/also-anja-venter-nkosingiphile-mazibuko-lauren-beukes/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (Lauren Beukes, Anja Venter and Nkosingiphile Mazibuko) about how imaginative play is more fun with friends; and [*Where's that Cat?*](https://bookdash.org/books/wheres-that-cat-sam-wilson-thea-nicole-de-klerk-chenel-ferreira-louis-greenberg/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) *(*Sam Wilson, Chenel Ferreira and Thea Nicole de Klerk), a wordless book about a young inventor looking for her missing pet. ### Chapter books for 6 - 14 year-olds (ish) This is a wide category, but reading levels and interests vary widely throughout later childhood. These are listed in order of increasing length and difficulty (ish). - [**Mr. Penguin series**](https://www.goodreads.com/series/209670-mr-penguin?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Alex T. Smith (2017-2021). Think Indiana Jones, but a penguin. With a bowler hat. And a kung-fu spider sidekick. These hilarious books are packed with mystery, adventure, and an irresistible charm. - [***The Dragonsitter***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13154202-the-dragonsitter?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=fDvjd4y5mq&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Josh Lacey (2012). A hilarious story told through emails, where Eddie has to look after a dragon while trying not to burn down the house. Ridiculous fun. - [***Loki: A Bad God’s Guide to Being Good***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/59076799-loki?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F37) by Louie Stowell (2022). Mischief god Loki is forced to live as a human child until he learns to behave. Chaos ensues. These books feature cracking jokes and hilarious illustrations: they're an excellent (much funnier) alternative to *Wimpy Kid*, around the same reading level. There are currently [4 books in the series.](https://www.goodreads.com/series/345445-loki-a-bad-god-s-guide?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [***Anisha, Accidental Detective***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/43589023-anisha-accidental-detective?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Serena Patel (2020). Anisha just wants to make it through her drama queen aunt's over-the-top wedding, but then her uncle-in-law is kidnapped, and Anisha has to use all her sleuthing skills to find him. A wholesome, witty middle-grade series about a down-to-earth girl with a zany family. - **Jacqueline Wilson** \- any title really. She's the queen of writing kid characters who are both funny and relatable. The [**Tracy Beaker**](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/462684.The%5FStory%5Fof%5FTracy%5FBeaker?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F10) stories from the 90s are my favourites, about a lovable orphan with a big personality and an even bigger propensity for trouble. [***Hetty Feather***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6435965-hetty-feather?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (2009), about a Victorian foundling, is also delightful. - [***The Girl Who Stole an Elephant***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/44906685-the-girl-who-stole-an-elephant?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=VK5gQIWlgG&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Nizrana Farook (2020). Adventure, rebellion, and a heist in a wild jungle adventure set in Sri Lanka. Immediately lovable. - [***A Kind of Spark***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/51256288-a-kind-of-spark?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F15) by Elle McNicoll (2020). A powerful story of an autistic girl standing up to injustice in her small Scottish town while learning about the history of the witch trials. - [***The Wild Robot***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/26030734-the-wild-robot?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=3wJxcaV5TB&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Peter Brown (2016). A robot washes up on an island and learns to survive in the wild, forging unlikely friendships with animals. Rich, imaginative and moving. - [***Wonder***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11387515-wonder?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F6) by R.J. Palacio (2012). A life-affirming story about a boy with facial differences, and how he navigates life with courage and kindness. - [***A Series of Unfortunate Events*** ](https://www.goodreads.com/series/42069-a-series-of-unfortunate-events?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)by Lemony Snicket (1999-2006). A delightfully dark series about three orphans who face increasingly absurd and dangerous situations while thwarting the evil Count Olaf (who will forever be Neil Patrick Harris in my head). - [***What To Do if You Turn Invisible***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/32319486-what-to-do-if-you-turn-invisible?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=ha6iIkoV2W&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Ross Welford (2016). When 12-year-old Ethel accidentally turns invisible, she tries to use her newfound power to escape her problems, only to discover that being unseen causes more trouble than she imagined. - [***A Monster Calls***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25480342-a-monster-calls?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F15) by Patrick Ness (2011). Probably my all-time favourite book in this age category. It's about a boy who is visited by a wild ancient monster who helps him come to terms with his mother's terminal cancer, and I don't think any book has ever made me cry so much. I adore it. Get the illustrated edition if you can. - [***Tyger***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60574832-tyger?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F2%5F5) by S.F. Said (2022). Set in an alternate London, about a boy who discovers a mythical, talking tiger straight out of a William Blake poem. Strange, lyrical, and woven through with poignant observations about colonialism. - [***Rooftoppers***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17350491-rooftoppers?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=mDk1X6Gg8F&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)by Katherine Rundell (2013). After a shipwreck, Sophie is found floating in a cello case and embarks on a quest to find her mother, leading her to the rooftops of Paris. A wild and inventive adventure with unforgettable characters. - [**Percy Jackson**](https://www.goodreads.com/series/40736-percy-jackson-and-the-olympians?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) series by Rick Riordan (2005-2009). Not exactly obscure, but this modern take on Greek mythology for tweens lives up to the hype, mostly because the voice of the narrator is so distinctive. - [**Sticky Pines**](https://www.goodreads.com/series/276055-sticky-pines?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)series by Dashe Roberts (2020-2024). Note-perfect blend of mystery, adventure, ecological themes, and Bigfoot, set in the forests of the American Northwest. Fans of *Gravity Falls* will love it. - [***October, October***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/55012382-october-october?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=zoIuwdoApo&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)by Katya Balen (2020). October lives a wild and free life in the woods with her father, until an accident forces her to move to the city with her estranged mother. A sumptuous story about identity, the bonds between parent and child, and finding your place in the world, with unforgettable prose. - [***Skulduggery Pleasant***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/284440.Skulduggery%5FPleasant?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F20) by Derek Landy (2007). A skeleton detective, magic, and nonstop action. Can be a little scary for younger readers, but morbid tweens love it. - [***My Sister Lives on the Mantlepiec***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9429895-my-sister-lives-on-the-mantelpiece?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)***e*** (2011). Stunning story about a ten-year-old whose sister was killed in a terrorist attack five years ago. Heavy themes of grief, loss, Islamophobia, and identity are tackled with warmth and honesty, and it's ultimately a deeply hopeful book. - [**Lockwood & Co**](https://www.goodreads.com/series/76807-lockwood-co?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)**.** series by Jonathan Stroud (2013). Ghost-hunting teens in London, filled with spooky mysteries and sharp humour. Stroud is one of my favourite children's writers working today. [***The Outlaws Scarlett & Browne***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/49511423-the-outlaws-scarlett-and-browne?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)is also fabulous, for slightly older readers. - [***When the Sky Falls***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/56817000-when-the-sky-falls?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F2%5F18) by Phil Earle (2021). A gripping WW2 novel about a boy’s bond with a gorilla during the London Blitz. Emotional and powerful. - [***What Sunny Saw in the Flames / Akata Witch***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30513481-what-sunny-saw-in-the-flames?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F28)by Nnedi Okorafor (2011). A 12-year-old moves from New York to Nigeria and learns that she has magical abilities and a world-saving mission. What sets this apart from similar stories is that the worldbuilding feels utterly fresh, with brilliant creative details rooted in Nigerian mythology, and an emphasis on learning to love the traits that make you different. [](https://www.goodreads.com/series/282152-the-scholomance?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ### Young adult novels for 14+ year-olds (ish) "Young Adult" is a funny category - one that didn't even exist 40 years ago. Many novels with teenage protagonists aren't considered YA, including masterpieces like [*Demon Copperhead*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60194162-demon-copperhead?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F16)*,* [*The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3985.The%5FAmazing%5FAdventures%5Fof%5FKavalier%5FClay?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F41)*,* [*The Power*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29751398-the-power?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F15)and [*White Oleander*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/32234.White%5FOleander?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F14)*,* though teens often love them. Meanwhile, many novels devoured by teens feature adult protagonists (true of my own teenage obsessions: *Lord of the Rings* and Stephen King). [***Girls of Little Hope***](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/girls-of-little-hope/)**,** the novel Dale Halvorsen and I wrote, is marketed as adult horror, but was written with teenagers in mind. Hallmarks of YA include a focus on "first" experiences (loves, losses), a teen perspective rather than an adult remembering their teenage years, more careful handling of difficult subjects, and accessible language and pacing. But in reality, this classification is often less about content than it is a quirk of the publishing industry; a marketing tool more than a creative distinction. Still, for the sake of this list, I'm going to constrain myself to books generally marketed as Young Adult. - [***A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/54369251-a-wizard-s-guide-to-defensive-baking?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F36)by T. Kingfisher (2020). T. Kingfisher is the pen name of Ursula Vernon, who also writes charming children's books (her [**Hamster Princess**](https://www.goodreads.com/series/159971-hamster-princess?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) series for 8-12 year olds is bonkers and brilliant) AND breathtaking adult fantasy novels ([*Nettle and Bone*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/56179377-nettle-bone?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=ArzMf35nuk&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)is one of the most simply joyful yarns I've read in years). *A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking* might be my favourite, though, about a 14-year-old wizard whose magic only works on baked goods, who has to solve a mysterious string of murders with the help of enchanted gingerbread men and her familiar - a sentient sourdough starter. Somehow both whimsical and dark. - [***Love is for Losers***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52148580-love-is-for-losers?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=LXqcgMiz4w&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Wibke Brueggemann (2021). A hilarious and sweet contemporary sapphic story about a cynical teenager falling in love while working at a charity shop. - [***The Lie Tree***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23592175-the-lie-tree?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F12) by Frances Hardinge(2015). Hardinge is the most inventive children's author working today, and I'm lowkey obsessed with her. Her books are sometimes marketed as middle-grade, but her work is pretty scary (her changeling story [*Cuckoo Song*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18298890-cuckoo-song?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=705zYCvROD&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)features the most terrifying antagonist I've read in a long long time). *The Lie Tree* is a Victorian gothic about a tree that feeds off lies and produces fruit that reveals the truth. It's dark, strange, utterly absorbing. - [**The Scholomance Trilogy**](https://www.goodreads.com/series/282152-the-scholomance?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Naomi Novik (2020-2022). The much better version of those other magical wizarding school books. Imagine if Hogwarts had a global student body, no teachers, and a survival rate barely above 20%. Biting humour, complex morality, and a lovably unlikable heroine, this series had me literally missing sleep because I couldn't put it down. - [***Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/19547856-simon-vs-the-homo-sapiens-agenda?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=JodL3zU6Se&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Becky Albertalli (2015). Yes, [*Heartstopper*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40495957-heartstopper?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=hkxTG7aze7&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)is delightful (not on the list because it's a graphic novel), but I connect more deeply with Becky Albertalli's characters. A warm, funny, and heartfelt look at one boy’s journey to come out on his own terms. Cosy and adorable. - [***Coconut***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1608417.Coconut?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=t8fKEowtmm&rank=2&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)by Kopano Matlwa (2007). A poignant story about growing up Black in the formerly white suburbs of post-Apartheid South Africa. Beautifully written, thoughtful and honest. - [**The Hunger Games**](https://www.goodreads.com/series/73758-the-hunger-games?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Suzanne Collins (2008-2010). Suzanne Collins deserved a much better editor than she had, and these books are imperfect, but they're entirely worthy of their success. Katniss Everdeen’s fight for survival in a brutal, deeply unequal dystopia set the bar for YA dystopian fiction and remains unsettlingly relevant. I especially love these books for how they show the toll trauma takes: none of these characters escape their struggles without profound emotional scars. - [***Blood Moon***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/45860336-blood-moon?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=3x04IjB3gu&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Lucy Cuthew (2020). A stunning novel-in-verse about periods, sex, shame, and online bullying. An astronomy-obsessed teen has her first sexual experience, and happens to be on her period. Then an awful meme starts to circulate around her school turning what was a gentle, intimate experience into something mortifying. The serious subject matter is treated with lightness and care; it's deeply funny and swoon-worthy in moments, lavishly written, and empowering. - [***I Kissed Shara Wheeler***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58756420-i-kissed-shara-wheeler?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F22) by Casey McQuiston (2022). A tasty teen mystery/romcom about an ambitious valedictorian chasing down her missing rival and maybe love-interest, prom queen Shara Wheeler. - [***Last Night at the Telegraph Club***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/56425440-last-night-at-the-telegraph-club?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)by Malinda Lo (2021). Another sapphic coming-of-age love story, this one set in 1950s San Francisco Chinatown. Sumptuous and complex, like a YA Sarah Waters. - [***The Rest of Us Just Live Here***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22910900-the-rest-of-us-just-live-here?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F29) by Patrick Ness (2015). Patrick Ness is better known for his wonderful Chaos Walking trilogy (starting with [*The Knife of Never Letting Go*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20758104-the-knife-of-never-letting-go?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F13)), a thoughtful action-adventure about the ways teenage masculinity can feel annihilating, but I'm even more fond of this witty, heartfelt subversion of the Chosen One trope. Mikey goes to a school where everyone else happens to have superpowers, cosmic destinies, and the responsibility of saving the world. Mikey ... just wants to find the courage to ask out his crush before someone blows up the school, again. A warm love letter to the joys of being ordinary. - [***We Were Liars***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/16143347-we-were-liars?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F13) by E. Lockhart (2014). There's a whole subgenre of juicy teen mysteries ([*One of Us Is Lying*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58679358-one-of-us-is-lying?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F18); [*A Good Girl's Guide to Murder*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40916679-a-good-girl-s-guide-to-murder?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F29)), but this is the best of the bunch. A decadent, atmospheric novel about wealth, privilege, and family secrets ... with, of course, a tasty twist. - [***Apocalypse Now-Now***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17457008-apocalypse-now-now?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=T4Q3F3kDNQ&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)by Charlie Human (2013). Outlandish urban fantasy romp about a 16-year-old crime kingpin drawn into South Africa's supernatural underworld. Funny, biting, bonkers. - [***Eleanor & Park***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15745753-eleanor-park?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F14) by Rainbow Rowell (2013). A bittersweet love story about two misfit teens in 1986 who bond over comics and music. - Some of my favourite horror novels feature teenage protagonists but aren't marketed as YA (Stephen Graham Jones' *My Heart is a Chainsaw*, Grady Hendrix's *My Best Friend's Exorcism*, Stephen King's *The Institute*). [***House of Hollow***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/54613751-house-of-hollow?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)by Krystal Sutherland (2011) is a happy exception which manages to remain horrific while being positioned for teens. A deliciously dark story about two sisters searching for their missing third sister, and in the process unravelling a mystery that's haunted their whole lives. A moreish nightmare. - [***Turtles All the Way Down***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35504431-turtles-all-the-way-down?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F24) by John Green (2017). John Green of [*The Fault in Our Stars*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11870085-the-fault-in-our-stars?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F22)\-fameis practically a one-man subgenre at this point, and it's deserved. I have a soft spot for his first novel [*Looking for Alaska*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/99561.Looking%5Ffor%5FAlaska?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F18), because it's the most raw exploration of a lot of what became his trademarks: witty repartee, teenagers putting their crushes on pedestals, experiencing death far too young. But *Turtles All the Way Down* stands apart. In a world where young people face a growing mental health crisis, this portrayal of OCD is unflinching, heartfelt, humane. More than anything else, I'm always struck by the deep empathy John Green has for teenagers. - [***After the Fire***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/37789683-after-the-fire?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F14) by Will Hill (2017). A harrowing story about life inside and outside a cult. Moonbeam's entire life has been controlled by Father John, but after a devastating fire, she must confront the lies and trauma she’s grown up with. A good companion is Fiona Neill's [***The Haven***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/179954843-the-haven?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F2%5F16)(2024), which tackles similar themes in a gripping flashback-mystery structure. - [***Crossing the Line***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/123676809-crossing-the-line?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F21) by Tia Fisher (2023). A powerful verse novel about a boy who becomes swept up into county lines (drug running for gangs) after his dad dies. A wrenching, empathetic story about the teenagers who fall through the cracks of modern Britain. *Friends, what am I missing from this list? I'd love to hear about YOUR favourites. Tell me in the comments!* ### Rich Man's Frug URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/rich-mans-frug/ Last updated: 2024-11-26T10:42:41.000Z Hello loves! My partner's been away for a week, and Digby and I have reverted to our natural troll state: lurking in our cosy flat, leaving crumbs everywhere, blasting soundtracks from musicals at top volume, eating small children who stray across our path. Here's some of what's been occupying my trollish mind recently. ## 1 - Rich Man's Frug You know when something becomes so iconic that it’s imitated thousands of times, and eventually, people are more familiar with the copies than the original? Like the “epic handshake” meme, which is actually from the 1987 movie *Predator*, with Carl Weathers and Arnold Schwarzenegger. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/10/image-46.png) Home alone, I've had one of my favourite versions of this on repeat recently: the ["Rich Man's Frug"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcrZIK3gqbU&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) dance from the 1960s musical *Sweet Charity*, choreographed by the legendary Bob Fosse (who also directed *Cabaret*, IMO the greatest musical of all time). It’s one of those things you’ve definitely *seen*, even if you’ve never even heard of the original. Fosse’s choreography was so revolutionary that it’s been endlessly reinterpreted. Here's the OG: The precise gestures! The quirky poses! The neutral facial expressions! The silly chicken-pecking thing! It's so delightful. Once you learn to recognise it, you'll see the "Frug" everywhere. Beyonce's riffed on it several times, most clearly in [Get Me Bodied](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RioOJ7dZxuw&ab%5Fchannel=Beyonc%C3%A9VEVO&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Single Ladies](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4m1EFMoRFvY&ab%5Fchannel=Beyonc%C3%A9VEVO&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). You can see references to it in everything from 1990s [Michael Jackson](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-7ABIM2qjU&ab%5Fchannel=michaeljacksonVEVO&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to [*Bring it On*](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0204946/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)to Jenna Ortega's [*Wednesday* dance](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NakTu%5FVZxJ0&ab%5Fchannel=Netflix&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) that went viral last year. But, goodness, there's nothing quite as delightful as the original. ## 2 - The Art of the Lie Between all the musicals and [Trump protest songs](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2EkXFIoK4ANNiXJFAalzrb?si=3a123861b9134ad3&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), an album I've been loving recently is John Grant's [*The Art of the Lie*](https://open.spotify.com/album/7doTp70QkWb5synkUpOdHf?si=OUh08z8CT2i-ziSgDUI%5FDA&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), after getting to see him perform at Hackney Church with my buddy Dashe a few weeks ago. John Grant is basically if Chappell Roan was a bear with a vocoder. His trademark is wrapping savage lyrics in the soft padding of a whisky voice (e.g. "You're not honest; you're just a prick"). His older stuff sounded more 90s grunge-folksy, with a melodic-growl that sometimes reminds me of a [less-problematic](https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/13/arts/music/ryan-adams-women-sex.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Ryan Adams. His best-known song, "[GMF](https://open.spotify.com/track/0uul4WzezEwTELfdrWuh3d?si=36607f3607534a2c&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)" is a deliciously ironic self-loathing anthem, recorded with Sinead O'Connor. It utterly slaps. *You could probably say I'm difficult* *I probably talk too much* *I overanalyse and overthink things* *Yes, it's a nasty crutch* *I'm usually only waiting for you to stop talking so that I can* *Concerning two-way streets, I have to say that I am not a fan* His 2024 album, *The Art of the Lie*, veers into witty electro-funk, with songs like "[All That School For Nothing](https://open.spotify.com/track/1Gn11B0GFzjUvFMe03rP0w?si=125ecce44cff4d14&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)" layering cutting social commentary with disco-pop. He spends a lot of the album messing around with a vocoder (that's the thing that makes Daft Punk sound like alien robots). But the album has remarkable range, swerving between songs that get you grooving and songs that have you sobbing your guts out. My favourites are "Marbles" (a love song both wry and sweet - "I've got the poise of a newborn giraffe ... my comportment like that of a Komodo dragon ... and you make me lose my marbles"), "Father" ("I feel ashamed because I couldn't be the man you always hoped that I would become") and "It's a Bitch" (a funk banger about being overeducated and unable to pay your rent). ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/11/Pasted-image-20241029101401.png) The opening act at the Hackney gig, Birmingham band BIG SPECIAL, were also great - very "cost-of-living-crisis-Britain's pretty shit right now innit" - strong early-Blur vibes. Try cathartic belter [SHITHOUSE](https://open.spotify.com/track/6OXf0GfTDvBq2cQbZjgQ0O?si=c02beb15bee84a52&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and moody rapture ballad [BLACK DOG/WHITE HORSE](https://open.spotify.com/track/2wIPD1HU5Rw1I0H4WEyc3Y?si=6344039e387b4d15&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ## 3 - The art of self-editing Legend has it that Jack Kerouac wrote *On the Road* in three weeks, pounding it out on a 120-foot scroll so he wouldn’t even have to pause to change typewriter paper. Like so many great stories, this is a lie: Kerouac actually reworked the novel over six or seven drafts. And the truth is, **most of writing is rewriting**. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/11/Pasted-image-20241107144909.png) The secret shame of most professional writers? Our first drafts are *awful* \- clichés, clunky prose, plot holes that are more accurately plot canyons. Most of us write first drafts that are no better than your high-school English essays, I swear. The skill professional writers learn is **rewriting**, shaping that gummy blob of a first draft into something readable. There are some exceptions, of course - the rarefied few whose first drafts are vigorous and sumptuous and animated by unworldly imagination ... arseholes! But writers like that are uncommon. For most of us, writing is a process that looks more like doggedly hacking a sculpture out of raw stone than plucking butterflies from the sky. It can be annoying, reworking the same description of a tree seven or eight bloody times, but it's also my very favourite part of the process. I'm there now, deep in the last (?) round of structural edits on my perimenopawsal werewolf novel *Femme Feral*. It's funny, but for a skill that's so much a part of what professional writers do, revising isn't a skill that's taught very explicitly in most creative writing classes (our Bath Spa [MA in Writing for Young People](https://www.bathspa.ac.uk/courses/pg-writing-for-young-people/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is a happy exception). So, if it's helpful, here's what my own self-editing process looks like. **Step 1: Take a break** After writing a draft, I put it away for at least a month. You can't see a novel properly when you're too close to it. **Step 2: Read it like a reader** When I'm ready to come back to it, I use a service like [Printt](https://printt.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to print the manuscript as a bound book. It helps me to make it look as much like a book as I can. Then, pen in hand, I read through, marking what’s confusing, boring, or fun, and jotting down ideas for fixes. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/11/image.png) Various printed drafts of **Girls of Little Hope* (which Dale Halvorsen and I were calling **Magpies*). **Step 3: Make a map** Then I create an outline of the book as it is. I do this in a spreadsheet that has these headings: 1. Chapter number / title (if chapters have titles) 2. Point-of-view character (if it's a multiple PoV book) 3. Word count (helps me to see if chapters are too long) 4. Location (what % of the way through the book is the scene? - I find this helpful to work out if, for instance, I'm taking too long to get to the inciting incident) 5. A summary of key plot points (what happens in the scene) 6. When (the time and date of the scene, to help me keep track of the timeline) 7. Where (what settings - helpful to check if a character is "stuck" somewhere for too long, or if there's an opportunity to revisit somewhere later in the novel) 8. Main character's goal (to make sure there's unity across the scene of what the main character's trying to achieve) 9. Major change (what is the POINT of the scene? What do we learn, or how is the situation changed for the hero?) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/11/Pasted-image-20241107151606.png) I know this seems anal, but this step is essential for me. It helps me to understand the structure of the novel and see where there are issues. Less "plotter"-y novelists than me sometimes do a much lighter version of this just using Post-Its. **Step 4: Plan structural changes** Next, I copy that outline to a new tab and consider adjustments: Do I need to cut scenes? Combine them? Shuffle? Write new sections? **Step 5: Create a checklist** I make a long bullet-point list of everything that needs to change, organised by chapters or sections. Depending on where I am in the process, this might include feedback from editors or readers, or just my own notes from the read-through and plotting exercise. **Step 6: Rewrite, don't edit** Finally, and I know this will sound bananas-cuckoo-batshit-insane to many of you, I *open up a brand new document*, set it side-by-side with the old draft, and rewrite the novel sentence by sentence, changing things as I go. I try not to use copy-and-paste until we're at line-edit stage. This forces me to slow down and really consider every single word. This is a trick I learned from Matt Bell's fantastic book [*Refuse to be Done*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58640362-refuse-to-be-done?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F17) \- the single best book about self-editing I've ever read. Some other resources I swear by for self-editing: - Srunk & White's [*Elements of Style*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/33514.The%5FElements%5Fof%5FStyle?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (book) - Ursula Le Guin's [*Steering the Craft*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/68024.Steering%5Fthe%5FCraft?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=52yLprFHTq&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (book) - David Michael Kaplan's [*Revision*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/794792.Revision?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=CVc2KwUfaL&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (tricky to find book; [here's a summary](https://eternal-dannation.tumblr.com/post/24049918429/revising-your-prose-for-power-and-punch?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)) - Jerry Jenkin's [self-editing checklist](https://jerryjenkins.com/self-editing/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (online) - Steve Himmer's [collection of ideas from writers](http://necessaryfiction.com/writerinres/RevisionRoundUp/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about revision (online) - [Martine Leavitt's](https://www.martineleavitt.com/thoughts-on-writing.php?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) essays about writing go into very helpful specifics - I specifically [love this one about how to convey emotion](https://martineleavitt.com/downloads/metaphor.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) without resorting to shrugs and eyerolls (online) - [Chuck Palahniuk's "nuts and bolts" essays in Lit Reactor](https://litreactor.com/essays/36-writing-essays-by-chuck-palahniuk?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- particularly this one about ["thought" verbs](https://litreactor.com/essays/chuck-palahniuk/nuts-and-bolts-%E2%80%9Cthought%E2%80%9D-verbs?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (online) I also find [Grammarly](https://grammarly.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Pro Writing Aid](https://prowritingaid.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Panlexicon](https://panlexicon.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) can be helpful tools. Here's my longer directory of all my favourite books, podcasts and guides about the craft of writing: Wish me luck with my all spreadsheets! Love, Sam and Digby ### Ada Lovelace's satin gown URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/ada-lovelaces-satin-gown/ Last updated: 2024-11-14T10:09:25.000Z Hello loves! I've been thinking a lot about Ada Lovelace recently. Specifically, I've been thinking a lot about her clothing. Ada Lovelace was the 19th-century genius who basically invented computer programming — about 100 years before computers even existed. A brilliant amateur mathematician, she worked with Charles Babbage, the inventor of the Analytical Engine — a massive, mechanical contraption he designed to perform complex calculations (an early blueprint for the modern computer). While Babbage envisaged it as only a number-crunching machine, Lovelace realised its far greater potential. She pointed out that since anything — music, language, or abstract logic — can be represented by numbers, the machine could theoretically process any kind of information, not just maths. In this way, she laid the groundwork for what we now know as computer programming. > Supposing, for instance, that the fundamental relations of pitched sounds in the science of harmony and of musical composition were susceptible of such expression and adaptations, the engine might compose elaborate and scientific pieces of music of any degree of complexity or extent. **\- Ada Lovelace** She is one of the most important women in history. She is one of the most important *people* in history. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/10/image-32.png) The first computer programme, written by Ada Lovelace with Charles Babbage. "Note G", Magdalen College Libraries and Archives. There's a portrait of her hanging in the National Portrait Gallery. In it, she stands poised and delicate, milky skin glowing against a muddy background, her pale skin melting into the neckline of a voluminous white silk gown. A dainty slippered foot stretches onto a lush patterned rug, the carved wooden chair and staircase grounding us in an opulent domestic setting. The diadem in her hair and the jewelled pins on her shoulders assert her aristocracy. The gown is intricately rendered in glistening folds, her tiny waist made to look even smaller by the cinching of her rich velvet train. Every fold of that gown has been carefully observed and lovingly rendered. It's more a portrait of a dress than a portrait of a woman. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/10/image-33.png) Margaret Sarah Carpenter's portrait of Ada Lovelace (1836), National Portrait Gallery, London. The room it hangs in, titled "Technological Transformation," celebrates the great inventors and engineers of Britain's Industrial Revolution. Ada is the only woman in the room — a situation she was likely all too familiar with in her own lifetime. And when you compare Ada's portrait to those of her contemporaries, something is very noticeable. Can you spot it? ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/10/image-34.png) **Edward Jenner* by James Northcote (1803), National Portrait Gallery. Here's Edward Jenner, who pioneered the process of vaccination. He's surrounded by representations of his work: quill and ink, papers, a cow's leg (his smallpox vaccine consisted of the milder cowpox virus). He's pointing at his big ol' brain, for extra emphasis. His clothing, though — boring as heck. The tablecloth is more interesting than his outfit. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/10/image-36.png) **Sir Marc Isambard Brunel* by Samuel Drummond (1836). National Portrait Gallery. Here's another one from the Technological Transformation room. This is Brunel, the chief engineer of the Thames Tunnel. Another black suit, papers, practical reading glasses. You can see a painting of the tunnel he designed propped up behind him, like Wile E. Coyote is trying to lure him into the wall. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/10/image-37.png) **Charles Babbage* by Samuel Laurence (1844). National Portrait Gallery. Or here's our boy Babbage, Ada's mentor. His clothes are almost indistinguishable from the background. Instead, we get a lot of detail of his face. And there, on rich plum velvet to his side: a mathematical instrument (a pair of dividers) and a folder of papers. You see it, right? In all of the other portraits, it's the *work* that's being honoured. In Ada Lovelace's portrait, there is not a single clue to any of her accomplishments. If you didn't know who she was, you'd think she's just a lady in a marvellous dress. --- It wasn't always like this; male inventors from just 100 years earlier were painted far more fabulously. In life as much as in portraiture, wealthy Western men of the 1700s wore makeup, bright colours, [high heels](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-heeled%5Fshoe?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#1700s), lush patterned fabrics, wigs and ruffles. Then, quite suddenly, they stopped. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/10/image-38.png) **Benjamin Franklin* by David Martin (1767), White House, looking like a velvety snacc. Psychologist John Flügel dubbed this "The Great Male Renunciation": the period of time around the American and French revolutions (1775-1799) when Western men suddenly stopped dressing up. > Hitherto man had vied with woman in the splendour of his garments, woman’s only prerogative lying in décolleté and other forms of erotic display of the actual body; henceforward, to the present day, woman was to enjoy the privilege of being the only possessor of beauty and magnificence, even in the purely sartorial sense. - **John Flügel, *The Psychology of Clothes (1930).*** There's an obvious logic to this - you don't want to look rich at a time when they're tossing rich people to the guillotine. But as this profound change in male fashion persisted, it became moralised. We began to develop the idea that dressing up was vain, conceited, marked you as an exploitative aristocrat. If "all **men** are created equal" (women and brown men obviously not included), then it follows that all men should dress identically: in a sombre, egalitarian black suit. This was the moment when fashion became "frivolous". In other words, this was the moment when fashion became feminine. We have not shaken this monochrome masculinity in 200+ years. There have been bubbles of resistance, sure: the [peacock revolution](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peacock%5Frevolution?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) of the 1960s, Harlem dandies, [macaronis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macaroni%5F%28fashion%29?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Sowetan Smarteez](https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/smarteez?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), sapeurs of Uganda and the DRC,Harry Styles, Prince, David Bowie... And queer culture has always challenged this strict gender boundary of Serious Male Attire versus Flouncy Lady Frocks. But for the vast majority of men, their clothing remains notably less decorative than women's clothing. Go into any clothing shop today and observe the endless colourful racks for women, versus the maroon, olive and navy corner for men (the only three acceptable masculine clothing colours). ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/10/Add-a-heading.png) The colour options available if you browse the women's category "essential tees" on ****Pick n Pay Clothing's** website, or the men's. Of course, when it became socially unacceptable for men to openly flaunt their wealth and class through their clothing, the need to signal status didn't go away: it got shifted onto their wives. Women dress up for fun, but we're also judgedfor it. Our hotness boosts the status of the men who are seen with us, and there's a reason we still talk about "trophy wives". This portrait of Ada Lovelace was painted to celebrate her marriage to an earl. Her beauty and elegance in this portrait were praised in newspapers when it was displayed at the Royal Academy in 1836, and I imagine her new husband was pleased. Ada herself apparently didn't like it very much. By the way, here's a daguerreotype of Ada (an early photograph), taken seven years after the portrait was painted. It gives us a much better idea of what she actually looked like. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/10/image-39.png) --- I've always had complicated feelings about clothing because I've never felt fully comfortable with femininity. It's never been a language I speak fluently, a properly-fitting garment, a machine I understand how to operate. I used to believe all women received some secret "How to Girl 101" class in childhood, and I wasn't at school that day. But I've come to realise that all women feel this inadequacy, to a greater or lesser degree. Femininity is an impossible ideal no flesh-and-blood person can attain. *Insecurity is the point.* For a while in my 20s, I went through a Great Renunciation of my own and packed away all the clothes in my closet, replacing them with five identical black dresses that I wore on rotation for an entire year, so I could free myself from the stress of figuring out what to wear every day. It was a relief for a while, but in the end, I missed dressing up. These days, I vacillate between dressing like a rainbow-neon KTV presenter and a 19th century male engineer, still neurotically obsessed with clothing because it's still something I feel I never get quite right. Whenever I launch a new book, or I'm invited to speak in public, I get way more stressed about what I'm going to wear than about what I'm going to say. I have a 90s uniform for [*Girls of Little Hope*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/girls-of-little-hope/)\-related events: dungaree shorts, an obscure 90s riot grrrl band tee, chunky boots, fake choker necklace. Whenever I do a [*Manage Your Money*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/manage-your-money-like-a-f-cking-grownup/)\-related thing I go head-to-toe [Hannah Lavery](https://www.hannahlavery.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and try to embody Confident Bossbitch. I've been doing film and TV pitches recently, and I haven't quite figured out that uniform yet - the last TV pitch I went to, the producer commented that I looked very "London Fashion Week", which I think is code for, "Girl, you're trying too hard". Mortifying. The best item of clothing I've ever owned is a t-shirt my best friend Melanie made me when we were 15, featuring Andy Warhol-style pop portraits of my #1 celebrity crush, who was ... uh ... the poet Lord Byron. Who, incidentally, was Ada Lovelace's father. Byron was terrible ([there's a great episode of the podcast *Decoder Ring*](https://slate.com/podcasts/decoder-ring/2020/02/harriet-beecher-stowe-lord-byron-incest-atlantic?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)about how he was rightly cancelled in the 1860s). Ada's mother was so petrified she'd become anything like him that she steered her away from poetry towards mathematics. Yet, I loved that t-shirt because it felt so *me*. When teenage girls have crushes on men, it's often not that they want to be *with* someone like them, it's that they want to *be* them. I too, wanted to be a feckless fuckboi poet (mad, bad, and dangerous to know). Eagle-eyed *Girls of Little Hope* readers might spot a nod to this t-shirt in chapter 17, by the way 😏 ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/10/image-40.png) **Lord Byron* by Richard Westall (1813), National Portrait Gallery. Cad, and total smokeshow. Sometimes, dressing up feels like self-fashioning, like trying on a new identity, empowering. Other times, it feels oppressive, narcissistic, having to treat yourself like a brand, reducing all your accomplishments to whether you look hot in a frock. > “Women constantly meet glances which act like mirrors reminding them of how they look or how they should look. Behind every glance there is judgment.” > ― **John Berger,** [Ways of Seeing](https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/2507145?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Some days I long for a uniform; other days I long for Cher's wardrobe from *Clueless.* I hope that if I'm ever praised it's because of my accomplishments or my generosity; and at the same time, I think it must be sad to be straightjacketed in black. I can tell myself that the beauty of being alive today is that, really, you can dress however the heck you like. But that's not entirely true, is it? We're social animals, and we can't pretend that our sartorial choices don't matter. Other people judge us for what we wear. Other people *police* what we can wear safely. Growing up in Pretoria in the 2000s, my younger brother grew out his long, gossamer white-blonde hair. It lay in a glossy mane halfway down his back, as shiny as Ada Lovelace's white gown. He didn't mind how often he was "Ma'amed" in public, but he did mind how often he was "Moffied", in dangerous hisses that threatened violence. Sometimes that violence became literal. He was relentlessly bullied throughout primary school: one kid used to wait for him on his walk home and assaulted him daily. When my mom reported it to the school, they suggested my brother cut his hair. Clothing isn't frivolous: everything we wear has profound social meaning. What it feels possible to wear reflects our sense of what it feels possible to be. I want to live in a world where men can wear pretty dresses and artist aprons and baby carriers and women can wear lab coats and business suits and stained sweatpants and people who feel like both or neither can choose without fear. We do make progress, generation on generation. In the same year Ada Lovelace's portrait was painted, Elizabeth Garrett Anderson was born. She became the first woman to qualify in Britain as a physician and surgeon. She cofounded a medical school for women, campaigned for women's right to vote, and became the first woman mayor in England. When her portrait was painted in 1900, at the age of 64, she insisted on wearing her plain academic gown, only conceding to add a pearl necklace when the painter begged her to brighten up the outfit. When she saw the completed painting, she complained that he made her fingers look too delicate. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/10/image-41.png) **Elizabeth Garrett Anderson* by John Singer Sargent (1900), National Portrait Gallery. There's been a [resurgence of interest in Ada Lovelace](https://findingada.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) because computer science today is somehow *more* gendered than it was in the mid-20th century. There's a [great episode of the *Planet Money* podcast](https://www.npr.org/sections/money/2016/07/22/487069271/episode-576-when-women-stopped-coding?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) discussing the reasons why, if you're interested. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/10/image-42.png) Ada Lovelace's mother tried so hard to keep her away from the arts, lest she succumb to the taint of her father's "madness". She failed. Ada always said that it was the *integration* of her instincts for beauty and for mathematics that was her unique genius, calling her approach "poetical science". She asked questions about how the technology might effect society — questions her contemporaries were not asking. Her knowledge of music allowed her to foresee uses of algorithms beyond mathematics. She is a beautiful example of why it matters that the people building technology come from different backgrounds; her genius is as connected to the abilities her culture would have dismissed as feminine as to the abilities it would have praised as masculine. There's a funny historical coda to all this. Charles Babbage's Analytical Engine was inspired by an earlier machine called the Jacquard Loom, which used punched cards to encode intricate patterns in textiles. The "serious engineering" vs. "silly decoration" binary has never, truly, been real. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/10/image-45.png) Model of a Jacquard loom, unknown maker (1867), Science Museum Group Collection. The real device would have been built in the early 1800s. So, in a roundabout way, the portrait of Ada Lovelace's dress *is* a nod to the invention of computing, her genius painted lush and shining across the canvas. Wishing you high heels and recognition for your best qualities, Sam --- ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/10/image-43.png) Perhaps my favourite portrait of a scientist at work. **Dorothy Hodgkin* by Maggi Hambling (1985), National Portrait Gallery. *Thank you to my dearest Melanie Smuts who showed me Ada Lovelace's portrait, and made me an iron-on transfer t-shirt of Lord Byron when we were 15.* ### The Dolphin's Cry? URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/dolphins-cry/ Last updated: 2024-11-05T06:00:53.000Z Hello loves! I ADORED your responses to [my music post](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/crackles-and-grooves/). I was especially amused by the fact that THREE SEPARATE PEOPLE told me one of their iconic, most-fondly remembered songs is "The Dolphins Cry" by Live. I don't know what that says about the readership of this newsletter, but I love it. The real highlights were the stories you sent along with the songs, "It makes me think of my sister...", "It was my 20-year high school reunion over the weekend and the song started playing...", "I had three ways to spend my time during my gap year: waitering for some cash, partying (spending the cash), lying hungover on my air mattress listening to borrowed Metallica CD's...", "My dad loved, and still loves, Chet Baker, and this song has so much softness and pain in it...", "I met my wife at a wedding and we immediately connected over this song... of course, when we got engaged, I made sure it was playing..." What an utter delight to share these musical memories with you - thank you for sending them in! My absolute favourite was this gem from my friend Tabs: *Growing up in Hermanus and going to a majority Afrikaans government school there, rugby was obviously revered! Each year we would have an international (usually from the UK) rugby team visit on a rugby tour that they were doing around the country. When I was 16 we offered to host 2 rugby players in our house, which we had never done before, but obvs my sister and I were very excited about. Their names were Ian and Toby, and I was immediately in love with Ian. There was young, dumb, dorky me, having no idea how to flirt, no sex appeal, zero experience... falling head over heels with this hot rugby boy from Watford. He had a CD of the Fun Lovin' Criminals which he left with us and I must have listened to that album a thousand times. He also wore a fragrance called XS by Paco Rabanne, which still to this day gets my loins going.* I've created [a playlist here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6W2rW5uwbKywzvIRGGf1RT?si=035220d96ec5495b&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) of some of the tracks you sent me. And here are three other things I've been thinking about recently. ## 1 - Better gift-giving Hello, I know no-one wants to talk about Christmas shopping in November. But time's arrow marches ever forward, and if you celebrate, well... I'm afraid it's time to come up with a gifting strategy. I've always aspired to be like my sister Kerry, one of those insufferable people with an entire gift cupboard who starts prepping thoughtful, handmade presents around January 5th—backup gifts, birthday gifts, “just in case” gifts. Meanwhile, I’m usually sprinting through the mall on December 24th, cursing myself. But not this year, friends! This year, we will be better!! The most helpful video I've ever watched about gifting strategies is by Hannah Louise Poston ([watch it here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtwqtgEeTWM&t=964s&ab%5Fchannel=HannahLouisePoston&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)), and she really nails the basic mistake of gift giving: how we start off thinking about what the receiver is missing in their life. We ask, “What does this person want?” or “What can I give them that will make their life better?” — but let’s be honest, buying someone a present isn’t going to solve their problems. And if they wanted something that badly, they probably would’ve bought it for themselves. We try to fill a hole in someone else's life with a gift, and that's just too high-stakes a task. Instead, Poston suggests a much easier goal: just aim to give them some pleasure (bow-chikka-wow-wow). Instead of asking what they're *missing*, start with a much simpler question: **what do they already use?** Then, just buy them a more luxurious version of that. For example, if they’re a journaler, get them a fancy refillable pen or a lush Midori notebook. If they’re into tea, find a high-end loose-leaf blend. You don’t need to overthink it — if you're stumped, start with the universal. Most people sleep, eat, wear socks. Seriously, socks are underrated. Last year, I had [custom socks](https://www.supersocks.co.uk/?srsltid=AfmBOooE%5F9IaNIFnlvp0XrGBlXnRmp2GtybwUclOhgM5Ne82GUeSVNON&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) made for my bestie Lauren with her daughter pulling a silly face all over them, and it was a smash. There's an unspoken universal rule that the more *time* you spend on a gift, the less *money* you have to spend on it, so do consider your making skills. Can you draw? How about ordering custom embroidered patches honouring your friends' special skills, like Scouts Badges for Adults. Can you bake? The date loaves my gran made me for Christmas every year growing up are still some of my most precious memories. Can you make cocktails? How about gifting home-infused spirits? Can you fix bicycles? Will you please come over and tell me how the heck to stop my bloody mudguard from rattling? If all else fails: **curate an experience**. Something like a movie night-in-a-basket is cute, affordable, and easy to throw together, or have fun putting together a [kit-in-a-tin](https://www.artofmanliness.com/skills/manly-know-how/22-manly-ways-to-reuse-an-altoids-tin/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). One of the best gifts I ever received was a piece of A4 paper from an ex-girlfriend when I was staying in New York. On it, she'd written down an itinerary for a "Perfect Day", directing me to some of her favourite places in the city, telling me exactly what snack to get from what foodtruck, with the timings worked out perfectly for me to catch the sunset over the Hudson. Or, you know, just book two tickets to an event they'll like. But really, I believe we're far more nervous about giving a "generic"-feeling gift than we need to be. Almost everyone will appreciate [Lush perfumes](https://www.lush.com/uk/en/c/cruelty-free-perfume?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (they're unisex), fancy bed linen, or elegant cookware (like olive-wood boards: they work as chopping boards and serving platters). Remember, the goal isn't to *fix a problem* for them, it's just to *give them pleasure.* Don't overthink it! ## 2 - The Outlaws Scarlett and Browne ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/10/Pasted-image-20241016140241.png) Looking for a rollicking YA adventure? I recently adored Jonathan Stroud's audacious [*The Outlaws Scarlett and Browne*.](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/49511423-the-outlaws-scarlett-and-browne?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=0jiV3eoEhE&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) It's a Western set in a dystopian future England, with monsters and gunfights and bank robberies and a *Stranger Things*\-esque telepathic kid. That sounds like a mishmash of a lot of different things, and it is, but it *works*. I adored it from the brilliant first page - a masterclass in writing an arresting opening! ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/10/Pasted-image-20240723165232.png) ## ## 3 - Poem-hunt! Reader hivemind, please help! I'm searching for a Breyton Breytenbach poem I can't find. A long time ago, I took a poetry class with [Sarah Johnson](https://johannesburgreviewofbooks.com/2018/04/04/two-new-poems-by-sarah-johnson/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) who gave us the fun challenge to "translate" a piece of poetry from a language we don't speak. We weren't allowed to look up the real meanings of any words; we had to just interpret them based on how they sounded, to come up with a poem *inspired* by the original but possibly with a completely different meaning. I recently came across a fragment of one of my "translations", which is based on an Afrikaans Breyten Breytenbach poem. This was my translation: **Footnote** After yesterday’s rain the world Is still freshly damp, two snails Move from staring to pairing, Smear each other with a little slime On the vaginal shell opening In a long lipped, naked Sigh Does anyone have any clue what the original poem is? I *think* it was published in *Voetskrif* (published in 1976) if anyone happens to have that collection lying around. My beloved British Library has failed me. A sweet tangent: Ursula le Guin once wrote a translation of the Tao Te Ching despite not knowing any Chinese. She called it a "rendition, not a translation". It's probably not very accurate, but it is lovely. --- *Try this yourself:* [*find a poem in a language you don't speak*](https://poetryinternationalweb.org/pi/site/collection/poem%5Fsubmenu%5Flanguage?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, and write your own version of it. Don't worry about accuracy; just go on vibes.* --- Wishing you bad poetry translations, better gifts, and the scents that remind you of your teenage crushes, Sam ### Crackles and grooves URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/crackles-and-grooves/ Last updated: 2024-10-28T09:21:03.000Z Hello loves! Up until now, I've managed to resist adopting exactly two hipster stereotypes: 1. Developing expensive taste in coffee (I'm 100% an instant Nescafe Gold gal). 2. Getting a record player. I've been clutching to these two traits as my last tether to self-respect because the rest of the picture is already far too embarrassing. I live in Hackney. I wear Tevas. I have a lot of tattoos. I have a [favourite heirloom tomato](https://plantura.garden/uk/vegetables/tomato-varieties/costoluto-genovese?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#:~:text=The%20'Costoluto%20Genovese'%20is%20a,caring%20for%20'Costoluto'%20tomatoes.&text=The%20'Costoluto%20Genovese'%20tomato%20is,in%20taste%20and%20heavily%20ribbed.). I drink fizzy orange wine that borders on being kombucha. I've made my own kombucha. Basically, I've avoided buying a record player because I'm already too much of a walking, talking [Real Housewives of Clapton](https://www.instagram.com/real%5Fhousewives%5Fof%5Fclapton/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) meme as it is. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/10/image-26.png) Credit: @real\_housewives\_of\_clapton But there's only so long you can resist your essential nature. So, when my partner bought me a turntable for my birthday, I didn’t even pretend not to be thrilled. It's one of the most beautiful objects I've ever owned. The base is rosewood. The metal components have a pleasing heft to them, and seem like they were designed in a German car factory. The sound quality of the speakers they came with is incomparable to the tinny bluetooth thing I've been using for years, like comparing a cathedral's pipe organ to a mouth kazoo. But the biggest revelation hasn’t been the sound quality; it’s how this record player is reshaping the way I engage with music. Specifically, how it’s allowing me to *collect* music again. I’m old enough to have grown up with a hard-earned music collection. Today, teenagers can summon any song, anytime, with a few taps on Spotify. My only source of music as a teenager was the Musica in Centurion Mall. The shelves were 90% sokkie treffers with a smattering of American pop, a tiny "Rock" section that lumped together Marilyn Manson with U2, and a single "World" music shelf containing everything from local kwaito to Georgian chanting to *Relaxation Mixes* \- New Agey blends of whale sounds, Urdu singing and Enya for white women to listen to in the bath. Finding good music back then was an odyssey. Months hunting for that one Björk CD you'd read about in SL Magazine, swapping mix CDs with friends, taping music videos off MTV if you were lucky enough to have satellite. Whatever music you had was precious, hoarded, listened to a billion times over until you knew the lyrics by heart. Even if they were the lyrics to U2. A collection requires choice, curation. When you're a teenager, that's the whole point: the things you love become the bricolage of your personality. I don't know how kids are managing that today, now that they're all swallowed so deep into the same algorithms. How do you feel smugly superior to your peers for having found an obscure bootleg when the algorithm just really wants you all to listen to [Chappell Roan](https://open.spotify.com/artist/7GlBOeep6PqTfFi59PTUUN?si=SlndtJvSR5CAtAnfkyuzfQ&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)? The trouble with kids today is they've never experienced musical serendipity! When I was fifteen, I once stumbled on a nine-minute experimental track from 1981 called ["O Superman"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vkfpi2H8tOE&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Laurie Anderson. It had been improbably included on one of my mum’s “Top Hits of the 80s” CDs, and for three months, that song was my entire personality. That thrill of a chance discovery is what’s coming back into my life with records. It's become such a joy walking into charity shops, taking a gamble on dusty £1 LP. Like the greatest hits of [Rose Royce](https://open.spotify.com/track/7jTigeIM01cZ92caGJESF0?si=dfcac2ea7d9e4656&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) I found in Oxfam. I bought it just because instead of Side A and Side B, it had a “Dancing Side” and a “Romancing Side.” Turns out, it’s a banger. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/10/image-25.png) The A side and B side of Rose Royce's **Greatest Hits* Spontaneity is half the joy. The other half is its opposite: curation - the careful hunt for the albums that have soundtracked your life, those albums that are etched into you like grooves in vinyl. [*The Milk-Eyed Mender*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0BYYTiVofQ&list=OLAK5uy%5FmbXkm4fLzwZeA2U9o-PLNhxmlx3eht3Is&ab%5Fchannel=JoannaNewsom-Topic&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Joanna Newsom, which got me through my last year in Johannesburg during the heart-wrenching breakup that ultimately saved me. Ladysmith Black Mambazo's [*Shaka Zulu*](https://open.spotify.com/album/6BqoNCQsupSaLBkl8u1uME?si=bW9RSHn%5FS9aU56qtM-rp9w&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which my friend Zani used to play obsessively in our res room. David Bowie's [*The Man Who Sold the World*](https://open.spotify.com/album/4h9rWFWhgCSSrvIEQ0YhYG?si=WLgvWQ9bRmGsc3EslMXhuQ&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which my friend Zane and I became obsessed with during the pandemic (it contains a sci-fi track called "[Saviour Machine](https://open.spotify.com/track/1LsDrUgiusxXHCoaSDvYDX?si=6d6d9d0df4894a4b&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)" where a sentient AI which begs humanity to shut it down before it destroys humanity out of boredom). Nick Cave's [*Push the Sky Away*](https://open.spotify.com/album/6CBN58EXbkJ7lIxvmLUxVA?si=w%5Fi7jS2JRkWVR1MxTfcdyw&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which reminds me of dancing with my partner in Barcelona. Fleetwood Mac's delightfully drama-filled [*Rumours*](https://open.spotify.com/album/1bt6q2SruMsBtcerNVtpZB?si=uQnncilfTLO87JLQ3HFIpA&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which conjures the perfect memory of my mother singing "Songbird" on her old acoustic guitar. [*Carrie and Lowell*](https://open.spotify.com/album/64xtjfsPHNHch0CZ7fPTjS?si=9%5Firi8V0RJyIRyMBGqYs0A&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Sufjan Stevens, which my best friend and I played on repeat during the year we both had a parent dying. [*Pet Sounds*](https://open.spotify.com/album/2CNEkSE8TADXRT2AzcEt1b?si=M8iOMjhdQHOTvn%5Fu434TrQ&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by the Beach Boys, which reminds me of the first time I fell in love and cringily included ["God Only Knows"](https://open.spotify.com/track/17QTsL4K9B9v4rI8CAIdfC?si=dae6472a416f4251&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) on a mix CD for my boyfriend, which we used to listen to while driving around the streets of Rooihuiskraal at four a.m. because everything was closed but neither of us wanted the date to end, both convinced our teenage love was important enough to deserve a Beach Boys soundtrack. Records are expensive; you have to make choices. They make you choose. And that’s the point. Infinite things are worthless, but when you sit down to build a collection, you’re forced to consider what you value. I recently visited my mum in Pretoria, and she gave me an incalculably valuable gift: my dad's LP collection. It's heavy, a thick wad of vinyl I lugged around four airports in an increasingly strained Woolworths bag as it felt too precious to be entrusted to baggage handlers. It's been magical spending time with the music my dad loved. [Tina Turner](https://open.spotify.com/artist/1ZikppG9dPedbIgMfnfx8k?si=dgQSdOZ0QjiILj04zZD7DQ&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Rick James](https://open.spotify.com/artist/0FrpdcVlJQqibaz5HfBUrL?si=OGc%5Fn1ziQW-JhcfYJOHvZw&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Linton Kwesi Johnson](https://open.spotify.com/artist/0bvRYuXRvd14RYEE7c0PRW?si=Scx-m1GKRqC3g%5FK-i2hIDQ&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Ottawan](https://open.spotify.com/artist/4FPjAd9hBB9iaiq8qCkNf7?si=oSB70x4OTy-1%5Fe9igbOicA&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), *endless* [Beatles](https://open.spotify.com/artist/3WrFJ7ztbogyGnTHbHJFl2?si=sMFqu7B8Qh-QJYLeoifpnA&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) albums. (A digression: but *holy smokes* I'd forgotten how brilliant the Beatles are. I know that sounds like an absurdly basic thing to say, but their albums are so much more groundbreaking and weird than I remembered. The mocking background falsettos underscoring the sassy lyrics of "[Revolution](https://open.spotify.com/track/1aOzDhi5a1RWWRy5dmYA8I?si=a8c65acba68b4736&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)"! The disorientating key change in the middle of "[A Day in the Life](https://open.spotify.com/track/18qhv7DD1sEpgWffovGnhn?si=5e71595696e74343&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)"! The moody lilts of "[Blue Jay Way](https://open.spotify.com/track/0QIX9BS0AUCQcHYvyrsMkV?si=4f03060561404e52&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)"! If it's been a while since you've actually listened to the Beatles, please do.) My favourite LP in the stack is a [Rolling Stones](https://open.spotify.com/artist/22bE4uQ6baNwSHPVcDxLCe?si=7OSksmBsTIC7S2gsM0VnKw&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) live album that someone's elder brother smuggled back to South Africa during Apartheid. It has a conspicuous chip in the rim. The story goes that when my dad brought it out to show off at a party, one of his friends was so excited he took a huge bite out of it. My father never admitted this, but I gather from contextual clues that this friend was extremely high on LSD at the time, which was the subtext of a lot of my dad's stories from the 70s. And this is the other lovable thing about records: they’re physical objects. They pick up scratches and nicks, wear and tear, just like we do. Collectors are always going on about how the crackles and pops of the sound feel "warmer" - obvious nonsense - but you do come to feel affectionately about your records' quirks. My copy of “[Midnight Train to Georgia](https://open.spotify.com/track/7MF7QAodbGzNYav5ZfIhAY?si=6465dd92b92f4a25&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)” skips and repeats the song’s crescendo (“Oh, he’s lea-Oh, he’s lea-Oh, he’s lea-!”). It’s as frustrating as an interrupted sneeze. This should be an argument in favour of Spotify, but somehow it isn't. In [*The Screwtape Letters*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/8130077-the-screwtape-letters?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), C.S. Lewis imagines a senior demon teaching an apprentice how to tempt humans. The novice thinks you need flashy, hedonistic distractions, but the elder demon knows better: > You will find that anything or nothing is sufficient to attract his wandering attention. You no longer need a good book, which he really likes, to keep him from his prayers or his work or his sleep; a column of advertisements in yesterday’s paper will do. You can make him waste his time not only in conversation he enjoys with people whom he likes, but in conversations with those he cares nothing about on subjects that bore him. You can make him do nothing at all for long periods. You can keep him up late at night, not roistering, but staring at a dead fire in a cold room. All the healthy and out-going activities which we want him to avoid can be inhibited and nothing given in return, so that at least he may say, as one of my own patients said on his arrival down here, ’I now see that I spent most of my life in doing neither what I ought nor what I liked.’ ... Nothing is very strong: strong enough to steal away a man’s best years not in sweet sins but in a dreary flickering of the mind over it knows not what and knows not why, in the gratification of curiosities so feeble that the man is only half aware of them, in drumming of fingers and kicking of heels, in whistling tunes that he does not like... That was published in 1942, but what a perfect description of the internet in 2024\. What is Instagram if not "a column of advertisements in yesterday's paper"? Angels and demons might not be battling over my soul right now, but there are large teams of people employed by Meta and Tiktok and Spotify who are actively trying to wrest control of my attention. They are students of the human mind, and their goals are not my goals. They’re in a meeting right now discussing how to keep me on their apps for another hour, how to smooth the path between me seeing something and buying something, tap-tap-bought. There is an invisible war happening over my time, and my attention, and my energy. Those people work hard to make my experiences with their products frictionless. I've been asking myself recently where I *want* more friction in my life, where I want things to take a bit more of my attention. Sure, I can tap a button on Spotify and listen to almost any song I can imagine. Or, I can stand up, hunt through my record collection, pick out a record, slip it from its cover, place it on the platter, set it spinning, lift the arm, take a moment to align it perfectly with the rim of the record, then gently set the needle down. --- I'd love to hear from you: what are some of the definitive songs in the soundtrack of your life? What are the memories attached to them? Send me links - I'd love to make a shared playlist to circulate in my next email! Just hit reply. --- Wishing you songs that remind you of your first love, Sam *Yes, I'm aware that it's ironic that I'm including Spotify links for these songs, but it's a bit trickier to send each of you a mix CD* 😉 ### Five October things URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/five-october-things/ Last updated: 2024-11-27T14:52:26.000Z Hello loves! Logs are crackling in the fireplace. [*Addams Family Values*](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106220/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is on. [Blackberry and rosemary gin](https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/blackberry-gin?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is infusing on the kitchen counter. My calendar is full of [Halloween-themed history talks](https://www.londonmonthofthedead.com/index.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Buffy the Vampire Slayer](https://thedivine.co.uk/event/crayolaandcrustybuffy-2/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) drag cabaret singalongs, and [classic horror movie screenings](https://princecharlescinema.com/seasons-events/?se=120&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). London's feeling decidedly Octobery. 🦇 I've barely written a word in weeks, which always makes me feel somewhat unsettled. I'll be getting my editorial notes on [*Femme Feral*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/upcoming-femme-feral/)soon, and in the meantime, I *should* be working on my next novel - but I haven't been! Instead, I completed a chunky non-writing side-project which gave me an excuse to go dancing in Joburg (at an [insanely cool bar](https://www.instagram.com/we%5Fare%5Fneighbarhood/?hl=en&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) that was also in a Woolworths parking lot: somehow the most Joburg thing ever). I slept in a hut on top of Table Mountain. I marked what felt like 7,000 [student manuscripts](https://www.bathspa.ac.uk/courses/pg-writing-for-young-people/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and squeezed in a few [public speaking gigs](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/talks/). I watched a troop of baboons foraging in the Cederberg. I spent time with my partner and my mum and my brother and my niece, and with some of my dearest and oldest friends. Frankly - I think I needed a damn break. I spent a lot of the summer in therapy, dredging up some very old wrecks from the ocean of my heart. It was productive but exhausting. So it's a relief to be back home in London, in my favourite city in my favourite season. I'm calling this [LUXURY AUTUMN](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/life-themes/) and challenging myself to really indulge in the abundance of my life. It's fluffy socks, fresh figs and cosy books all the way, baby! Here are five luxurious things I wanted to share with you. ## 1 - Great African sci-fi and fantasy One of my favourite panels at [Glasgow Worldcon](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/worldcon-reading-list/) back in August was "Through an African Lens" with [Wole Talabi](https://wtalabi.wordpress.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Lauren Beukes](https://laurenbeukes.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [T.L. Huchu](https://www.instagram.com/tendaihuchu/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). They threw out some brilliant suggestions for contemporary African science fiction and fantasy novels. [Read the full list here.](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/african-sff-you-should-be-reading-right-now/) Next on my "to-read" list is [*Womb City*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/61725531-womb-city?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)by Motswana author Tlotlo Tsamaase, described as "a genre-bending Africanfuturist horror novel blending *The Handmaid’s Tale* with *Get Out* in an adrenaline-packed, cyberpunk body-hopping ghost story exploring motherhood, memory, and a woman’s right to her own body." Uh, hi! ## 2 - Getting teens interested in investing I got a question from a reader recently about how to give teens some (safe) practice with investing. ***I have read your*** [***money book***](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/manage-your-money-like-a-f-cking-grownup/)***, and I have a 10-year-old for whom I have just ordered*** [***the teen version.***](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/manage-your-money-like-a-grownup-teen-edition/) ***As part of his education, I want to get an app that will allow him to learn how to invest (either with real money, or with a fictional account), but I am struggling to find one that works outside the USA.*** ***Do you have any recommendations?*** In case any of you are in a similar situation, here was my reply: Start with a fictional portfolio, and move onto real money once your teen's ready. A simple, free way to do this is to agree on a fictional budget and have them set up a portfolio on [Google Finance](https://www.google.com/finance/?hl=en&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (any free portfolio tracking app can work, but Google Finance is free and pretty easy to use). This can be a great activity to do together, chatting as you do about what they'd choose and why. Encourage them to add some individual shares of companies they're already familiar with, and also to put some of their fake money into a [simple global ETF](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/is-it-safe-to-invest-in-a-new-etf/) product, so they can compare the results. In South Africa, [EasyEquities](https://www.easyequities.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) allows you to create a demo portfolio which is a great alternative. Check your teen's portfolio with them over the next couple of weeks. They'll probably lose money! This is a great opportunity to explain to them the value of sticking with "wobbly" investments over the long term and why investing is not a get-rich-quick scheme. If it feels age-appropriate for your child, I also recommend letting them look at your real investments with you, and having a conversation with them about it. What are you investing for, and why? How do you make your own investment decisions? Once they're ready to play with real money, you'll need to open something called a "custodial account" for them (this is an under-18 investment account, usually managed/linked to an adult account). In South Africa, the [EasyEquities Youth Account](https://www.easyequities.co.za/youth-account?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is my go-to, but most countries have a version of this. **One very important point:** make sure you find something that doesn't offer CFDs or any kind of risky leverage products, and ensure accounts are pre-funded rather than linked to a bank account, so there's a hard limit to how much money can be lost. [Here's a story about why (content warning: suicide).](https://www.forbes.com/sites/sergeiklebnikov/2020/06/17/20-year-old-robinhood-customer-dies-by-suicide-after-seeing-a-730000-negative-balance/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Good luck! ## 3 - Polar Nightmares As the weather cools, I've been returning to a perennial obsession: the eldritch horrors of polar exploration. Dan Simmonds' [*The Terror*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3974.The%5FTerror?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is my all-time favourite book on this topic - I must have read it 8 or 9 times. It's a fictionalised take on the 1845 Franklin expedition into the Arctic that turned into a real-life nightmare of scurvy, cannibalism and mass-starvation (uh, spoiler alert for a 180-year-old historical event?). Simmonds' novel adds a layer of thrilling supernatural horror on top, and uses the story as an exploration of colonial hubris. There's a great [TV adaptation](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2708480/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), too, but the novel's perfect. For something less soul-crushing, I recently loved Darrel Bristow-Bovey's [*Finding Endurance*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/116965815-finding-endurance?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F17) about Ernest Shackleton's Antarctic [Endurance expedition](https://www.history.com/news/shackleton-endurance-survival?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which was one of ones where most of the crew miraculously did NOT die. It's a gorgeous, lyrical book that interweaves the story of how Shackleton's leadership pulled 27 people through unimaginable trials, with moving personal history about the author's relationship with his father. I found those sections deeply relatable; [like mine](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/dont-look-now/), Bristow-Bovey's father is from the Bluff, and had far more ambition than luck and a creative relationship with the truth. ![Finding Endurance by Darrel Bristow-Bovey](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/10/image-29.png) There are some scrumptious descriptive passages which make me *almost* want to go to Antarctica: > Under the circling sun the ice does things to light to which we are not accustomed. Colours emerge and dance in the crystal depths. At the waterline of icebergs, where the lapping sea carves out grottoes and caves, the refracting sunlight makes rainbows in the ice that mirror in the water below then reflect back up onto the ice in overlapping rings and polychrome hoops. In the ledges and faces of the bergs are unexpected hues: not just blue and purples but golds and ochres, sage green, herb green, all the greens of the forest. On clear bright days the world opens, immense: you can see the flaws and cracks in distant bergs, a flying petrel on the horizon, a penguin on the moon, but although your eyesight is newly keen, you cannot trust your eyes: they have evolved to predict and make sense of an altogether different world. A similarly hopeful book is [*Madhouse at the End of the Earth*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/54900051-madhouse-at-the-end-of-the-earth?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Julian Sancton, about the Belgica, another Antarctic crew who (mostly) survived but was stuck in the endless polar night for months. The crew started to go slowly insane, but were also pulled through by strong leadership; in this case, mostly led by two brave youngsters named Roald Amundsen (who later became the first person to reach the South Pole) and Frederick Cook (who *claimed* to be the first person to reach the North Pole, was uncovered as a fraud, and spent a good chunk of his life in jail). It's a beautiful analysis of what keeps people sane in dire circumstances, and a fascinating look at the friendship that shaped two of the key figures in the Age of Polar Exploration. Although personally, I'm more into the grim endings than the ones where everyone makes it out alive, so I particularly love polar horror. Other favourites in that vein include: - Ally Wilkes' two brilliant polar exploration horror novels [*Where the Dead Wait*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/101161005-where-the-dead-wait?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=SUQ6xO4mGd&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)and [*All the White Spaces*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58438634-all-the-white-spaces?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*.* If you enjoyed *The Terror* but wish it were queerer and featured more women, you'd love Ally Wilkes. - [*Dark Matter*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/8350864-dark-matter?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Michelle Paver is a gentler (but still creepy) ghost story about a man stuck in an Arctic hut all alone... maybe. - [*Outpost*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/10198374-outpost?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)by Adam Baker is *The Walking Dead* in the Arctic. - The two classic polar horror stories are Edgar Allen Poe's [*The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket*](https://www.gutenberg.org/files/51060/51060-h/51060-h.htm?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)and H.P. Lovecraft's [*At the Mountains of Madness*](https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/70652?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)(Lovecraft's racism can make his work unreadable, but it's not visible in that story). 1938's [*Who Goes There?*](https://eyeofmidas.com/scifi/Campbell%5FWhoGoesThere.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by John Campbell is also good fun, and it inspired my all-time fave horror film (John Carpenter's [*The Thing*](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084787/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*).* - [*The White Vault*](https://thewhitevault.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is a terrifying found-footage style audio drama about a group sent to investigate a remote outpost crew in Svalbard that's gone mysteriously silent. You can listen on any podcast app. ## 4 - A *Survive the Century* shoutout It was lovely to see [Survive the Century](https://survivethecentury.net/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), the climate game I co-created with Simon Nicholson and Christopher Trisos (with help from [dozens of brilliant contributors](https://survivethecentury.net/credits?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)), mentioned in this round-up of ["20 Video Games You Should be Required to Play Before Becoming President".](https://hard-drive.net/hd/20-video-games-you-should-be-required-to-play-before-becoming-president/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [20 Video Games You Should Be Required to Play Before Becoming PresidentThe Constitution says that there can be no religious tests for holding office in the United States, but to me that just means there’s untold…![](https://static.ghost.org/v5.0.0/images/link-icon.svg)Hard DriveR. Anthony Mahan![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/kamala-the-hedgehog-2.jpg)](https://hard-drive.net/hd/20-video-games-you-should-be-required-to-play-before-becoming-president/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## 5 - Family recipes Lastly, thank you for your moving (and often delicious) responses to my [email about food](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/my-food-tastes-are-ridiculous-im-sorry/)! I especially enjoyed the photos many of you sent me of old family cookbooks, like this one from my old friend Mieke, of the hand-written recipe book that her grandmother began in the 1970s, which her mother continued, and which now belongs to her. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/10/image-28-1.png) *"The apple tart is in my grandmother’s handwriting and the crunchies are in my mom’s handwriting. These recipes have been favourites in my family my entire life."* Wishing you all the luxuries of October, Sam ❤️ ### African SFF you should be reading right now URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/african-sff-you-should-be-reading-right-now/ Last updated: 2024-10-11T17:00:15.000Z Looking for some of the best science fiction and fantasy coming out of Africa right now? Here's a list of recommendations from [Wole Talabi](https://wtalabi.wordpress.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Lauren Beukes](https://laurenbeukes.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [T.L. Huchu](https://www.instagram.com/tendaihuchu/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), from their 2024 Glasgow Worldcon panel "Through an African Lens". [Here's the list on Goodreads.](https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/219175.African%5FSFF?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [UK readers, here's the list in Bookshop.org.](https://uk.bookshop.org/lists/african-sff/edit?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## The list - Rosewater - Tade Thompson - Lagoon - Nnedi Okorafor - Mermaid Fillet - Mia Arderne - Dazzling - Chikodili Emelumadu - The First Murder On Mars - Sam Wilson - The Theory of Flight - Siphiwe Gloria Ndlovu - Triangulum - Masande Ntshanga - The Djinn Waits a Hundred Years - Shubnum Khan - Ghostroots - 'Pemi Aguda - Womb City - Tlotlo Tsamaase - The Year's Best African Speculative Fiction - Oghenechovwe Donald Ekpeki and Chinaza Eziaghighala (ed) - Zoo City - Lauren Beukes - The Library of the Dead - T. L. Huchu - Drinking from Graveyard Wells - Yvette Lisa Ndlovu - Digging Stars - Novuyo Rosa Tshuma - Glory - Noviolet Bulawayo - Shigidi and the Brass Head of Obalufon - Wole Talabi - Intruders - Mohale Mashigo - AfroSF - Ivor Hartmann (ed) - It Doesn't Have To Be This Way - Alistair Mackay - Azotus the Kingdom - Shadreck Chikoti - Dazzling - Chịkọdịlị Emelụmadụ Online, they also suggest [The African Books Collective](https://www.africanbookscollective.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), the [Sauutiverse](https://sauutiverse.net/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and [AfricanSFS](https://www.africansfs.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Notice anything missing? Let me know in the comments! ### My food tastes are ridiculous, I'm sorry URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/my-food-tastes-are-ridiculous-im-sorry/ Last updated: 2024-09-06T09:07:25.000Z I first went vegan when I was twelve. Being vegan in Centurion in the early 2000s was a pro-level challenge, I tell you. Forget buying tofu, fake meat or plant milk. My family's one option for eating out was the Rooihuiskraal Spur, which in those days had one vegetarian meal option called "Salad Valley": a buffet of wilted and slightly damp iceberg lettuce which had been sitting under a heating lamp since nine a.m. and cubes of pickled beetroot leaking neon vinegar all over lukewarm potato salad. *\*A note for international readers: Spur is an inexplicably Native-American-themed rather-un-PC South African restaurant chain that is somehow one of our most beloved national institutions. I love to take American friends there to see their horrified faces.* My teenage veganism was a nightmare for my poor mum, who was responsible for 99% of the cooking in our family and had to try to balance the nutritional needs of me, my brother with ARFID (Autism-linked restrictive food needs), and my stubbornly meat-and-potatoes father. Growing up, the only green thing I ever saw my dad eat was pistachio ice cream. His running joke was that he ate a lot of vegetables, it was just that he got cows to pre-process them first. So you can see how food became a battleground in our home. And that's hard, because eating is one of the most emotive things we do. How we eat is culture, it's tradition, it's ritual, it's pleasure, and it's love. I stopped eating animal products because I can't accept animals being tortured and killed purely for my pleasure, but in doing so, I was cutting myself off from my own family's food heritage. Refusing to eat meat meant refusing to eat the ossobucco that my mum had learned to cook from her grandmother, who'd eaten it as a girl in Lombardy. Refusing to eat meat meant refusing to eat the kudu biltong from animals my dad had hunted himself, seasoned and dried in strips strung up in our garage, and the fish my [grandfather caught from his rickety little boat Lucky II](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/winning-the-war/), and my aunt's famous roast chicken, and the hundreds of other meals that hold a family together. > “Food ethics are so complex because food is bound to both taste buds and taste, to individual biographies and social histories.” - Jonathan Safran Foer, [*Eating Animals*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6604712-eating-animals?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). In my 20s, working from a base of nothing, I had to teach myself how to cook. Since my own culinary traditions were lost to me, I fell into food cultures with more excitement about eating beans. Some people learn to cook from their mothers; I learned from Yotam Ottolenghi. I developed opinions about the best way to make hummus (buy the dried chickpeas already split and shelled, add baking soda when cooking, use ice water when blending). I discovered the Chinese supermarket sells cheap tofu blocks the size of a microwave, and I learned how to give it taste and texture by freezing it before thawing and marinating. I became obsessed with Indian food, which stirred up memories of my Durban childhood. My friend Roshila took me to the Asian grocery store and taught me how to cook okra without it turning slimy, how to layer the bitter complexity of methi and mustard oil into a dish, how adding hing makes everything better, where to buy urid dal and Kashmiri chilli. In my early 20s, I even got pretty far down the path of converting to Judaism - and honestly, that was largely about the food, or rather, its place in the culture, its explicit role in transmitting cultural memory. With no food language of my own, I developed fluency in the dialects of mezze and masala, of berbere and bao, of tahini and tagine. In other words, my food tastes became absurdly boujie. A boujieness I must reiterate was *a terrible reflection* of my actual financial situation at the time, which was dire throughout most of my 20s. Partly because of all that hing I was buying. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/09/image-4.png) Like sorry to brag but this is literally just the casual dinner I made last night, and yes that flatbread was homemade, and there's pomegranate molasses in the khoresh bademjan. And of course, the boujier my food tastes became, the less intelligible they were to my family. It's become comically impossible for us to cook for each other. The last time I was home, I tried making them a simple tomato pasta - surely the safest food on the planet? But it was inedible because of the fresh herbs I added; half of them ended up eating sandwiches for supper. And then the next night, when I said I was craving vegetables, someone very sweetly made me a salad ... with an entire jar of mayonnaise in it. I'm completely aware that *I*'m the weirdo, here. I am the one who has changed, who has chosen to abandon the culture I was born into, who has rendered myself alien, who has forgotten how to codeswitch, who has traded my sense of belonging for something else. I was listening to an interview on the podcast [*Hidden Brain*](https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/between-two-worlds/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about the unspoken social costs of upward class mobility, thinking about how common a story this is. > Determination, hard work and sacrifice are core ingredients in the story of the American dream. But philosopher Jennifer Morton argues there is another, more painful requirement to getting ahead: a willingness to leave family and friends behind. One reason my food tastes changed so much is that I was the first person in my family to get to go to university. M parents worked their arses off so that I could have an easier life than they did and the result is that I now live on the other side of the world. My mum's favourite poet is Khalil Gibran. I remember her reading me that line, "You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth." But how heartbreaking it must be to be the bow your children fly from. How lonely to be the arrow. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/09/image-1.png) My current obsession: Open City's book [***London Feeds Itself**](https://shop.open-city.org.uk/products/london-feeds-itself-2nd-edition?srsltid=AfmBOooPonb6aUYS3-WmFnW-CpX2KWBYElAKkkqH6eBwgakFmjDQU9fZ&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)***,** edited by Jonathan Nunn If you like eating, London is the best city in the world. On top of being [somewhat more vegan-friendly than Centurion](https://plantbasednews.org/lifestyle/travel/london-worlds-most-vegan-city/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com),\*\* it's a place where you can find food from every corner of the globe, cooked by people who were born there. Inspired by the brilliant book [*London Feeds Itself*](https://shop.open-city.org.uk/products/london-feeds-itself-2nd-edition?srsltid=AfmBOooPonb6aUYS3-WmFnW-CpX2KWBYElAKkkqH6eBwgakFmjDQU9fZ&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)(which my friend Rachel gave me), I'm currently on a quest to eat a dish from every country in the world, all around London (yes, obviously there is a SPREADSHEET, listing London restaurants from [Azerbaijan](https://landoffirerestaurant.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Mauritius](https://www.timeout.com/london/bars-and-pubs/marcel-sons?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Somalia](https://www.timeout.com/london/restaurants/the-village?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Palestine](https://www.akub-restaurant.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Trinidad and Tobago](https://www.timeout.com/london/restaurants/roti-joupa?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and everywhere else you can think of). On their own lonely quests for economic opportunity, people come from everywhere, and they bring their food with them. *\*\*Centurion in 2024 is still not a great place for vegans, by the way, as evidenced by the fact that Tripadvisor's "*[*Top 10 Vegan Restaurants in Centurion*](https://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurants-g312613-zfz10697-Centurion%5FGauteng.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*" page includes 3 seafood restaurants and 2 steakhouses, one of which is literally called "Die Fleisherei".* > “Cooking demands attention, patience, and above all, a respect for the gifts of the earth. It is a form of worship, a way of giving thanks.” – Judith B. Jones My friend Nobhongo, who used to run an [incredible food club in Cape Town called "The Third Culture Experiment"](https://mg.co.za/article/2016-05-20-00-cooking-up-a-third-culture-experiment/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), introduced me to the term ["Third Culture Kids"](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third%5Fculture%5Fkid?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (TCKs) - people who are raised in a different culture to their parents. She explained that what’s fascinating about being a TCK is that you don’t just “bring” your parents’ culture into your new country; you create an entirely new one, a hybrid that’s uniquely your own. London is a city of thrilling hybrids: a Cypriot family-run [Jewish deli](https://www.bksaltbeefbar.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a [Caribbean-St Lucian takeaway spot](https://g.co/kgs/EapyDZK?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a [Cantonese-Indian restaurant](https://www.fattpundit.co.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), or the fact that perhaps [the city's most iconic restaurant](https://www.dishoom.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#welcome) is based on Iranian cafes that were popular in Mumbai in the 1960s, opened by an Indian man who was born in Uganda. London is a place where cultures are constantly colliding, blending, evolving. The food is *incredible*. Heritage isn’t static; traditions are lived, reshaped, and reimagined. Cultures are porous, enriched by absorbing and exchanging with others (when done so with fairness and mutual respect rather than an attitude of exploitation). London's dynamism comes from the myriad ways different cultures rub up against each other, spark off each other, *feed* each other. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/09/image-2.png) [Source](https://omf.org/uk/what-we-do/third-culture-kids/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) It's no accident that I ended up with a man who grew up in kitchens (his Cypriot dad owned a series of small but beloved Italian restaurants in Joburg - another story of hybrids). He's an excellent cook who gets as obsessive about perfecting a recipe as I do; he is thrilled to meander around international food markets with me and marvel at all the ingredients we haven't tried yet; he bakes me fresh sourdough loaves several times a month; he is fluent in the love-language of food. On Sunday, being a rare sunny day, we hosted a braai. And sure, the bourbon-maple glazed ribs I was eating were made from soy, the potato salad had fresh horseradish in it, and instead of coleslaw we had miso-glaze charred cabbage (I am, after all, a boujie bitch), but I was thinking of my dad and my brother and my mum gathered in our big Centurion garden around our old Weber, enjoying the sun despite our differences, sharing our love for each other. This is what migrants do, everywhere: we gather together in our foreign homes and eat the foods of our ancestors ... and we evolve them. ## Favourite cookbooks When we bought our flat, the housewarming gift we asked for was a recipe from each of our friends, which we keep in a binder, nestled amongst my grandmother's old hand-written recipe for date loaf and the columns I tore out of 2001 *You* magazines on any rare occasion they published a vegetarian recipe. So that's my *favourite* cookbook. But my other all-time favourites include: - [*Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat*](https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/salt-fat-acid-heat-mastering-the-elements-of-good-cooking-samin-nosrat/3564416?ean=9781782112303&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Samin Nosrat, the best practical guide to cooking better meals. - [*East*](https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/east-120-easy-and-delicious-asian-inspired-vegetarian-and-vegan-recipes-meera-sodha/2994984?ean=9780241387566&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Meera Sodha, for bright, colourful Asian dishes. I'm currently lusting after her new book [*Dinner*](https://uk.bookshop.org/a/12433/9780241488003?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - It's difficult to pick my favourite Ottolenghi, but it's probably [*Shelf Love*](https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/ottolenghi-test-kitchen-shelf-love-yotam-ottolenghi/5800002?ean=9781529109481&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)because of [these butterbeans](https://boldbeanco.com/blogs/beanspo-recipes/butter-beans-with-preserved-lemon-chilli-herb-oil?srsltid=AfmBOopyG3rGwn6Lt3IQx63GiU8kzX-cY8B27lJijyokDXz8WR6rUEno&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - [*A Week in The Kitchen*](https://shop.karendudley.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)by Karen Dudley, for upping your salad game. - [*One Pot, Pan, Planet*](https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/one-pot-pan-planet-a-greener-way-to-cook-for-you-your-family-and-the-planet-anna-jones/2613001?ean=9780008172480&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)by Anna Jones, for simple weeknight dinners that still pack a flavour punch. [*The Modern Cook's Year*](https://uk.bookshop.org/a/12433/9780008172459?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)is also great. - [*The Vegan Chinese Kitchen*](https://uk.bookshop.org/a/12433/9780593139707?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)by Hannah Che, an exquisite book that dives deep into the long tradition of Chinese plant-based food culture. - [*Falastin*](https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/falastin-a-cookbook-sami-tamimi/1735673?ean=9781785038723&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)by Sami Tamimi and Tara Wigley, for herby, delicious feasts and gorgeous stories about the food culture of Palestine. - [*Berber & Q on Vegetables*](https://uk.bookshop.org/a/12433/9780857839879?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), if you're a vegan who still wants to braai/bbq. - [*The Flavour Thesaurus*](https://uk.bookshop.org/a/12433/9780747599777?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Niki Segnit, creative inspiration for obsessive cooks. - [*The Green Roasting Tin*](https://uk.bookshop.org/a/12433/9781910931899?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), if you're looking for easy but delicious plant-based meals (this is my top recommendation for beginners). Books I haven't read yet but are currently at the top of my wishlist are [*Nistisima*](https://uk.bookshop.org/a/12433/9781526630681?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [*Veganistan*](https://uk.bookshop.org/a/12433/9781911682745?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [*Vegan Japanesy*](https://uk.bookshop.org/a/12433/9781784882846?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and [*Madhur Jaffrey's World Vegetarian*](https://uk.bookshop.org/a/12433/9780091863647?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ## More Tomfoolery! Last week, I asked you to [tell me about your favourite party games](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/personal-nuclear-reactors/), and Emma responded with what sounds like an absolute CRACKER. *Growing up, my mom (life of the party) had a whole repertoire of parlour games. One was "Gat Penny" where you hold a coin between your (clothed) buttcheeks and then navigate increasingly difficult courses (over/under chairs, up/down stairs) to drop it in a cup. Her claim to fame was having once successfully climbed over a combi in a wet cozzie, cheeks clenched for the gods.* *Her favourite game however, was the "Box (Biting) Game" where you take turns picking up an empty cereal box with your teeth, with only your feet allowed to touch the ground. As each round progresses, you tear off a strip of box to make it lower and lower until its just a piece of paper on the ground. There are various techniques, including a wide straight leg forward fold (my preferred technique), to a deep forward lunge (think humble warrior) or side lunge (think skandasana). Can also be played with a large enough toblerone, biting off mountains as you go. In SA, I was always met with blank stares when trying to initiate the game in new company, until I met a Brit who referenced it and tells me it's a regular game up there, although only known as the "Box Game". I think the "Biting" part is my mom's addition, since she can't resist an innendo. Last year I was working for a company 2 days a week and at the Christmas Party, drunk on sunshine and champagne, initiated the game with as many people as I could bully into joining me - I won, but also injured myself so badly it took me 6 months to get back to full flexibility again. I also quit that job not long after, so for many colleagues their last impression of me is with my ass in the air, picture below (I wouldn't have it any other way though tbh).* ![image.png](https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0?ui=2&ik=abcb21cefa&attid=0.1&permmsgid=msg-f:1809071119236116412&th=191b1c991b7cafbc&view=fimg&fur=ip&sz=s0-l75-ft&attbid=ANGjdJ-6jxUD9NeFPv69fanoMXTzNmXvzR1PgdUco8btr5rO2Wm3VtcteeOGfZ1Q_g5EhTsItJNSE_js7V6XG0pvvb-HqRCbGK-szSjnc4w2U_E6k9D1kj73fZW7DJ8&disp=emb&realattid=ii_m0kputd90) ## Send me your favourite recipes! Readers, I'd love to hear about your favourite food stories, and recipes that remind you of home. Is there a chocolate cake your dad made you every year on your birthday? A salad you're famous for? A weird potato salad technique you learned from an aunt? Also, can anyone recommend a good beginner's guide to fermentation and pickling, please? I borrowed a copy of [*The Noma Guide to Fermentation*](https://uk.bookshop.org/a/12433/9781579657185?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*,* and it's gorgeous, but I need something with more basic recipes (I haven't managed to get a successful batch of lacto-fermented gherkins out; I don't think I'm ready for chocolate-covered maple-infused lacto-fermented mushrooms). Wishing you some bites of the meal that reminds you of home, Sam ### Personal Nuclear Reactors URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/personal-nuclear-reactors/ Last updated: 2024-08-30T15:45:38.000Z Hello loves! We are basking in the dog days of summer in the northern hemisphere. [My new novel](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/cuckoobird-live-writing-journal/) is unfolding slowly, dreamily into words, but it's hard to concentrate when all you want to be doing is floating in the [Hampstead Heath Ladies' Pond](https://www.hampsteadheath.net/swimming-ponds?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) with your friends. Here are five things I've been thinking about recently (through the haze of Aperol Spritz). ## An Opinionated Guide to a First Trip to London One of the great joys of the past few months has been how many friends have been able to visit me in London. In many cases, it's been their first trip here, so I put together [a first-time visitor's guide](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/an-opinionated-guide-to-your-first-time-in-london/) taking them through some of my top suggestions of shows to watch, things to see and places to eat. It's opinionated and very much built around my friends' tastes and preferences, so your mileage may vary! As an example, one spot I always insist people visit is [Novelty Automation](https://www.novelty-automation.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) in Holborn. It's a collection of satirical hand-made arcade games with silly themes like the Small Hadron Collider or the Alien Probe Machine. It's unbelievably charming in a quintessentially British way, and you won't find it on many "Classic London Tours". ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/08/image-14.png) The Personal Nuclear Reactor was built by [Tim Hunkin](https://www.timhunkin.com/a160%5FMy-nuke.htm?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## Alistair Mackay's *The Child* One of the most devastatingly beautiful books I've read so far this year is [Alistair Mackay's *The Child*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/210813999-the-child?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It's the story of a man who returns to Cape Town after living in New York because he wants to adopt a child, just as the city enters the worst days of the water crisis. The book is extremely courageous, full of moral nuance and deep insight about magic and messedupness of Cape Town, interwoven with thoughtful contemplations about how we make families. Thrillingly, the book is launching in the UK, so if you're near London on 20 September, do go to the launch! ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/08/image-15.png) ## Planning the task is half the task One of the most productive things I've been doing with my summer is spending a lot of hours in therapy. It's going great, except for all the stupid f e e l i n g s, and the fact that my therapist constantly nags me to be kinder to myself. I mean I would, if my self wasn't such a jerk! I swear she started it. In all seriousness, I've been looking for ways to build more self-kindness and self-care into my life. Real self-care, not buying overpriced single-use sheet masks. The thing I've found that has *by far* made the biggest difference? Hiring a part-time remote PA. It's a *dreeeeam* to have someone just finally do those stupid niggly tasks that have been lurking on my to-do list for over a year now. But the benefits far exceed the few hours a month I'm paying them for: I've found that the **process of briefing them** on what I need their help with actually completes half the task. So often, the hard part of doing a task is just working out exactly what you need to do. I'm finally getting through large, important projects that have been blocked for *months* now, and feeling so much lighter for it. My bestie and I used to do this for each other by swopping admin tasks sometimes. It's so much easier to do someone else's admin than your own: firstly, because you don't have the same emotions about it (those pesky f e e l i n g s) but secondly, because the process of your buddy explaining the task to you has usually forced them to figure out all the steps involved, which was half the work in the first place. My buddy Andrew recently recommended a brilliant (free) web app that can help with this. It's called [Goblin Tools](https://goblin.tools/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a set of simple single-task tools designed to help neurodivergent people with things they often find tricky or overwhelming, like translating the tone of a text message or estimating how long a task will take. But my two favourite tools are the **Magic To-Do**, which turns a vague plan ("Write a blog post") into actionable steps ("Choose a topic," "Create an outline" etc.), and the **Compiler**, which turns a messy braindump into a neat to-do list. If you've got a spicy brain that isn't served well by normal productivity tools, give it a try. ## A song for Dungeons and Dragons Nerds This very nerdy Dungeons and Dragons song by Tom Cardy is unironically my favourite song right now. [It's also on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/6o2nroFoqAxj7kSWLo6AGb?si=cd82ac40659f40e7&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). If you don't play D&D, this might mean nothing to you, I'm sorry :) > [ View this post on Instagram ](https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3mDpNerrlk/?utm%5Fsource=ig%5Fembed&utm%5Fcampaign=loading) > > [A post shared by Tom Cardy (@tomycardy)](https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3mDpNerrlk/?utm%5Fsource=ig%5Fembed&utm%5Fcampaign=loading) ## Squeak Piggy Squeak What are the parlour games you play with your family and friends? Parlour games are those indoor party games that don't require any special equipment except maybe a pen and paper, like Charades or Twenty Questions. My favourite thing about these games is that the rules end up spreading by word of mouth, so they mutate. My group of friends, for instance, plays a lot of [Werewolf](https://teambuilding.com/blog/werewolf-game-rules?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), but we insist that the moderator comes up with a unique setting (like "six months into the first Mars colony"), and every player concocts an entire persona and backstory. We also play the [Salad Bowl](https://thenerdy.com/how-to-play-salad-bowl/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) game, but we have an extra round where you're only allowed to make one noise as the clue, and another where you have to communicate the word using sock puppets. I was recently introduced to a new favourite - a variation of "[Squeak Piggy Squeak](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squeak%5Fpiggy%5Fsqueak?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)" - where someone leaves the room and blindfolds themself while everyone else changes seats, then the blindfolded person returns and calls out a number and an animal ("3, cow"), and the person that number of seats around the circle has to make that animal noise (they moo) before the blindfolded person tries to guess who's sitting there. Parlour games are the best, and I'm always trying to learn new ones. What are some of your favourites? ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/08/image-16.png) The Victorians: huge fans of the parlour game Wishing you play, neat to-do lists, and kindness to yourself, Sam ### An opinionated guide to your first time in London URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/an-opinionated-guide-to-your-first-time-in-london/ Last updated: 2025-09-27T05:30:51.000Z You’re coming to London! EXCELLENT choice; it’s the best city in the world. In summer, anyway. My #1 tip for visiting is that, unfortunately, **London is generally not a city that rewards spontaneity**. Shows, restaurants, and friends’ calendars book up weeks in advance, so it’s worth doing (some) planning ahead. This is an opinionated guide based very much on my own tastes and preferences. Your mileage may vary! # **Pre-book some fun events ahead of time** Begin your planning by booking a couple of big events/nights out you’re excited about, and plan the rest of your schedule from there. - Watch one of the cheesy big West End shows. Really! [Here’s an up-to-date list of what’s on.](https://www.timeout.com/london/theatre/london-musicals?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Try [LoveTheatre](https://www.lovetheatre.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or [TodayTix](https://www.todaytix.com/london/category/all-shows?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for discounted tickets, or [check out this guide](https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/team-blog/2019/03/grab-theatre-tickets-from-p3-via-a-secret-seat-filling-site/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) if you're really on a budget. Most of the theatres are around Soho, so plan **Adventure 2** for that day. My personal favourite shows are: - Book of Mormon (if you generally don’t like musicals, and have an irreverent sense of humour, this is the one to see). - Operation Mincemeat (the hot new show - smaller and less “spectacular” than the others but brilliant) - Hamilton - Hadestown - Wicked (for the classic Big Musical experience) - Lion King, Les Mis, Cabaret and Matilda are also great. - If you’re after “high culture”, see what’s on at these venues: - [Southbank Centre](https://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Barbican](https://www.barbican.org.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [National Theatre](https://www.nationaltheatre.org.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Royal Albert Hall](https://www.royalalberthall.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Almeida](https://almeida.co.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Sadler’s Wells](https://www.sadlerswells.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (contemporary dance) - [Royal Ballet & Opera House](https://www.rbo.org.uk/about/the-royal-ballet?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Shakespeare’s Globe](https://www.shakespearesglobe.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Punchdrunk](https://www.punchdrunk.com/whats-on/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (these immersive shows are unmissable, but you may have to sell your right toe for tickets) - Also check what [theatre shows](https://www.timeout.com/london/theatre/london-theatre-for-2022-shows-not-to-miss?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) are currently running. - Check [TimeOut](https://www.timeout.com/london/things-to-do/london-events-in-august?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [CondeNast](https://www.cntraveller.com/gallery/things-to-do-in-london-this-weekend?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Londonist](https://londonist.com/things-to-do?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for festivals and major events. - Check whether there are any [big music gigs](https://www.timeout.com/london/music/the-best-london-gigs-and-concerts-this-month?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) you’re into, or hook up [Songkick](https://www.songkick.com/metro-areas/24426-uk-london?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to your Spotify for recommendations based on your tastes. - For interesting/weird/edgy music and theatre, see what’s happening around Dalston: [EartH](https://earthackney.co.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Dalston Jazz Bar](https://maps.app.goo.gl/1W3kQgS2WFSw6ETW9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), the [Arcola Theatre](https://maps.app.goo.gl/PpfihcNh61TFS2kEA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Cafe OTO](https://maps.app.goo.gl/X1NVgAJDZZgvyF6XA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [The Jago](https://maps.app.goo.gl/i8WkKgogP443Xb4e7?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Ridley Road Market Bar](https://maps.app.goo.gl/FSgTzRs7NyzeNW2U6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [The Shacklewell Arms](https://maps.app.goo.gl/1BNScPzcaGEPE9RB6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Dalston Curve](https://www.woodburnermusic.co.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Rio Cinema](https://www.riocinema.org.uk/home/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). If nothing in Dalston catches your fancy, try Hackney Central ([MOTH](https://maps.app.goo.gl/usHVuX1rknc42s6V7?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Paper Dress](https://maps.app.goo.gl/oCKmWFyCsFrc7hVA6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Hackney Empire](https://maps.app.goo.gl/UktJ63HsvcaqTM186?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Two Palms](https://maps.app.goo.gl/AJ5qifp3UkBiZwHr7?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Oslo](https://maps.app.goo.gl/z8GUKRVVeaRaceQi9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)). - For properly *cool* London you’ve got to hit up Brixton or Peckham in South London. My #1 favourite music thing is the weekly Jazz/Afrobeats night Steam Down’s [#SDWeekly](https://www.steamdown.co.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (every Wednesday in Pekham). [Electric Brixton](https://www.electricbrixton.uk.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or [Phonox](https://phonox.co.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) are big clubs, [POP Brixton](https://effrasocial.co.uk/events/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Effra Social](https://effrasocial.co.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) have eclectic music/pub lineups. Have dinner beforehand in [Brixton Village](https://maps.app.goo.gl/k4Ka3cjUSKSdwKne7?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) if you can - it’s where you’ll find the best Caribbean food in the city. - If you're after LGBTQ+ fun, try [The Divine](https://maps.app.goo.gl/CXL2PYdFB3xsnRqH9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Bethnal Green Working Men’s Club](https://www.workersplaytime.net/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Dalston Superstore](https://maps.app.goo.gl/cCkPzT3XsPKtmXoQ6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (in Hackney) or [Heaven](https://g-a-yandheaven.co.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (in Charing Cross). There’s also a scene in Soho, but it’s a bit more commercial. Lesbian bars include [She](https://visitgay.london/3206/she-soho/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (Soho) and [La Camionera ](https://www.lacamionera.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)(Hackney). - For mega club vibes, I’d see what’s on at [Fabric](https://www.fabriclondon.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Ministry of Sound](https://www.ministryofsound.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Colour Factory](https://www.colourfactory.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Drumsheds](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/upcoming-femme-feral/), [Koko](https://www.koko.co.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Electroworx](https://www.electrowerkz.co.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Village Underground](https://maps.app.goo.gl/A8H5cuv5E3JmDd3R9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [XOYO](https://maps.app.goo.gl/oo7BeSSdqtFihrQZ7?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Queen of Hoxton](https://maps.app.goo.gl/c8A1igHhrfojWFcW8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Spend some time researching your unique interests. You can find *anything* in London. You could spend your whole trip visiting [bookshops](https://www.timeout.com/london/books/londons-best-bookshops?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), or trawling the city's [niche museums](https://thenudge.com/features/unusual-museums-in-london/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), or attending obscure [science and history lectures](https://lectures.london/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). # **Orienting yourself** London is not a city; it’s a collection of villages (boroughs), each with its own distinct vibe. It’s a huge sprawl and getting around is exhausting, so choose **one or two** areas to explore each day if you can. ![](https://lh7-rt.googleusercontent.com/docsz/AD_4nXftQdQOGwPF35ezqITynrKiqs6nAeU-5OpwH-QrW8W_gk2iFqTpx4W7Lev4TIe5gzD5bcW_-VXIVt_Adf7dvMKOKLv7jVnQipE8tWIzMr3_YxfGyC_mZpeX0Tsp1q48kjOIFI3UO_93kfjiWqIX-0PKDdk?key=mIP5C7fvEHL4jdeePTIJtA) Source: [Dora2](https://medium.com/@1660936570/discover-londons-zoning-a-beginner-s-guide-8e824ed6af83?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) London is [divided into concentric circles](https://medium.com/@1660936570/discover-londons-zoning-a-beginner-s-guide-8e824ed6af83?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), with Zone 1 at the centre. - **Zone 1:** the tourist centre, where you’ll find stuff like Big Ben and Buckingham Palace (and lots of bankers). Fun fact: there’s a special part of Zone 1 called “The City of London” / “The City” which is technically an entirely different city. - **Zone 2:** the buzzy parts of London, where all the trendy stuff is. Do make time to explore some bits of Zone 2 - you’ll get a much better sense of “real” London. - **Zone 3+:** the suburban parts of London, where people actually live, but there’s not as much fun stuff to see. The closer to the centre you can afford to stay, the easier it will be for you to get around. If you can, try to stay in Zone 1 (anywhere), Hackney, Hampstead, Camden or Clapham. Definitely try not to stay anywhere further out than Zone 3, or you'll spend half your visit just commuting. Speaking in *very* broad stereotypes: North-West London is boujie & beautiful (Demure), North-East London is grimy & cool (Brat), central London is tourists & office workers, south of the Thames is too far for me and I have no idea what it’s like because I almost never go there (except to Brixton and Peckham, see above). One of the first things I suggest you do in London is **a walking tour** \- this is the best way to get to know the city. [London Walks](https://www.walks.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is well-reviewed and runs tours every day, covering specific themes, or [this list](https://www.cntraveler.com/gallery/best-walking-tours-in-london?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) looks pretty solid. Do a walking tour rather than the hop-on-hop-off buses, unless walking's tricky for you. London's built for ambling. Three quick notes on getting around: - You don't need to get a special [Oyster](https://oyster.tfl.gov.uk/oyster/entry.do?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) card, or cash, to use public transport. Just tap your bank card or credit card. There are almost zero situations where you need to carry cash in London. - Install [CityMapper](https://citymapper.com/?lang=en&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It offers much better public transport route suggestions than Google Maps. - Do use the [Lime](https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/lime-ridegreen/id1199780189?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) bikes, but for goodness' sake *buy a helmet*. If you’re not a confident cyclist, it’s worth shelling out for the [BikeMap](https://www.bikemap.net/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) app so you can choose entirely car-free routes. # **Suggested itineraries** ![cathedral facing body of water](https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1578666062144-080ac96e3e24?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=M3wxMTc3M3wwfDF8c2VhcmNofDF8fHRvd2VyJTIwb2YlMjBsb25kb258ZW58MHx8fHwxNzI1MDI1MTYxfDA&ixlib=rb-4.0.3&q=80&w=2000) Photo by [Nick Fewings](https://unsplash.com/@jannerboy62?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) / [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm%5Fsource=ghost&utm%5Fmedium=referral&utm%5Fcampaign=api-credit) ## **Adventure 1: City of London and Southwark (Zone 1)** *A good prelude to an evening at Southbank Centre, the Barbican or the National Theatre.* - Hit the [Tower of London](https://www.hrp.org.uk/tower-of-london/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) as soon as it opens - it's super cool and worth going inside, and it's pretty empty if you go early. - From there, walk up to [London Bridge](https://maps.app.goo.gl/ARPFm4KL64sQQo6S9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and cross the river to the south bank (enjoy the view of Tower Bridge). - Grab a snack at [Borough Market](https://maps.app.goo.gl/U2jX8bYWeaMJUJBN9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - Walk up the south bank of the Thames to [Shakespeare's Globe](https://maps.app.goo.gl/x8gJSYExrm2nja4c8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (it's fun, go inside) then the [Tate Modern](https://maps.app.goo.gl/yqp3S5Zgrs7BEXE47?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Definitely spend a few hours in the Tate Mod. Most of it's free, but there are special exhibitions you have to buy tickets for. - If you're still feeling full of energy at that point, continue to [Southbank Centre](https://maps.app.goo.gl/GHST8d1dU631Wxn79?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) where you’ll get a great view of Westminster and Big Ben from across the river. - Head to your evening activity! Optional stops you might want to add on: - [St Dunstan’s in the East](https://maps.app.goo.gl/aVtWTo1M2o3Ab5Ct6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is a really lovely tiny ruin. - [Guildhall’s Art Gallery](https://maps.app.goo.gl/6HnASuVP8EeYiW6Q6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), where you can see the remains of an old Roman amphitheatre - [Horizon 22](https://maps.app.goo.gl/inUd2qgyNoJVrnYr6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for an amazing view of the city. It's free, unlike the Shard. SkyGarden is another free option, but you have to [pre-book](https://skygarden.london/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) a ticket. - [St Paul's Cathedral](https://maps.app.goo.gl/dMJtFxTQ2qFTi54e7?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (it's cool, but skip it if you've seen other European cathedrals - they're all the same). - [The Old Operating Theatre](https://maps.app.goo.gl/LBjdYTRDKve5iBAW6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) near Borough Market is morbid and fascinating if you’re interested in surgical history. - [The Museum of London](https://www.cityoflondon.gov.uk/things-to-do/attractions-museums-entertainment/museum-of-london?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is a brilliant introduction to the city and its history. ![people walking in a street](https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1662714215474-acc0a5d94bba?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=M3wxMTc3M3wwfDF8c2VhcmNofDEyfHxjaGluYXRvd24lMjBsb25kb258ZW58MHx8fHwxNzI1MDI1MjEwfDA&ixlib=rb-4.0.3&q=80&w=2000) Photo by [Bruno Martins](https://unsplash.com/@brunus?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) / [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm%5Fsource=ghost&utm%5Fmedium=referral&utm%5Fcampaign=api-credit) ## **Adventure 2: Soho and Chinatown (Zone 1)** *The classic prelude to a theatre or West End evening.* - Depending on your interests and energy levels, begin the day at [Carnaby Street ](https://maps.app.goo.gl/HUPsj8trZcAer7g97?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)(high-end shopping), the [National Portrait Gallery](https://maps.app.goo.gl/XDmKXvpcnnxUXm7u8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (classical art - smaller but more interesting than the adjacent National Gallery), or the [British Museum](https://maps.app.goo.gl/keBXbSetdUY3We1P8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (where you can see all the excellent things the English stole from other countries). - Mid-afternoon, head to [Soho](https://maps.app.goo.gl/9rp9XnAsus9AJU4T6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and explore the shops. It’s most vibey around Greek Street and Dean Street. Try to find the [seven noses](https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/seven-noses-of-soho?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Stop for a drink and some peoplewatching at any of the excellent pubs and bars. If you're feeling adventurous, there are plentiful hidden speakeasies in Soho, and half the fun is finding them. The Vault is hidden behind a bookcase, The Blind Pig is above a restaurant ... explore, ask around, or resort to Google. - When it's approaching dinner time, walk down to [Chinatown](https://maps.app.goo.gl/gSyA9Ut2dsNBRMYq9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Leave yourself some time to wander around and browse the shops, where you'll find everything from K-beauty goops to waving lucky-cat sculptures. If you like rare antiquarian tomes try [Any Amount of Books](https://maps.app.goo.gl/j83qsFJrE7sQnAXt9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Cecil Court](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/an-opinionated-guide-to-your-first-time-in-london/), and if you like tiny bricks try [the LEGO store](https://maps.app.goo.gl/M1RzCswT8iLsaac86?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Find somewhere for dinner: the food in Chinatown is generally excellent, but my faves are [Plum Valley](https://maps.app.goo.gl/c6mCKf7SDZ62G4wdA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Speedboat Bar](https://maps.app.goo.gl/6k32FiwnDCPrPonx8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (both have good vegan options). - Watch your show! - For a post-show drink, head to [Waxy's Little Sister](https://maps.app.goo.gl/NSqzjssbToH2kdcx8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to try the fancy drinks elevator, or go back to Soho. If you've got extra time/energy, it can be fun to add some of these Holborn stops at the start of your day: - [Hunterian Museum](https://maps.app.goo.gl/RMFEeVHGgDuPi5xD7?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for more gory-but-fascinating surgical history and specimens in jars. - [Novelty Automation](https://maps.app.goo.gl/J1EQ6U79EBAFF2kL9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)for hilarious and bizarre hand-made arcade games. I cannot overstate how charming this place is. - [Sir John Soane's Museum](https://maps.app.goo.gl/oeroV5mEksU5Rs858?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for classical sculptures and historical oddities. - [London Transportation Museum](https://maps.app.goo.gl/8f2U9Q2Xu6Vtn5TR7?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which small children absolutely adore. If you’re a massive nerd like me, [take a look at my geek-specific recommendations](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/london-for-nerds/#:~:text=A%20travel%20guide%20to%20a%20very%20dorky%20city.&text=Welcome%20to%20London%2C%20fellow%20dorks,a%20favourite%20My%20Little%20Pony!) along this route. ![Big Ben, London](https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1531561452248-84db55b6d9a2?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=M3wxMTc3M3wwfDF8c2VhcmNofDF8fHdlc3RtaW5zdGVyfGVufDB8fHx8MTcyNTAyNTIzNXww&ixlib=rb-4.0.3&q=80&w=2000) Photo by [Deniz Fuchidzhiev](https://unsplash.com/@dfuchidzhiev?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) / [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm%5Fsource=ghost&utm%5Fmedium=referral&utm%5Fcampaign=api-credit) ## **Adventure 3: South Ken to Westminster (Zone 1)** *A good prelude to an evening at the Royal Albert Hall or a boat ride out to Kew.* If you want to do the iconic London tourist things, luckily they’re all in a fairly compact area. It would be a doable bolt-on to Adventure 1 or Adventure 4. - Start your day with one (or more) of the major museums in South Kensington - they're wonderful and they're mostly free. - If you're interested in design, go to the [V&A](https://maps.app.goo.gl/pX1agYGHo6zcdF1z9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - For contemporary art, go to the [Serpentine](https://maps.app.goo.gl/dwD6CMbGYy2B8utAA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - With kids, the [science museum](https://maps.app.goo.gl/EPPu7zPJ9U9RD4299?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [national history museum](https://maps.app.goo.gl/oPkaokjystxNc3Sh7?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)s are great fun. - Either head up to Hyde Park and walk East (for pretty park vibes, possibly stopping for tea at the [Orangery](https://maps.app.goo.gl/Y7FLGKtbmVQQeNSn9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)) or wander through the lush streets of Chelsea and Belgravia until you end up at [Buckingham Palace](https://maps.app.goo.gl/xbKA4Fw7FZgdU5uH9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (try time it to catch the [changing of the guards](https://changing-guard.com/dates-buckingham-palace.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)). I mean, you have to. - Go to Westminster and look at Westminster Cathedral, Big Ben and Downing Street, if they’re of interest. And [The Churchill War Rooms](https://maps.app.goo.gl/Fojf6gg2xwSJVv676?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) are quite cool. If you’re done by early afternoon, what’s pretty fun is to take the ferry from [Westminster to Kew Gardens](https://www.thamesriverboats.co.uk/info/index.asp?page=westminster-to-kew-service-128&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and spend the rest of the day there (check you’ve left yourself enough time - the ferry takes about 90 minutes to get to Kew, and you'll want to spend at least an hour there before it closes). Alternatively, the most absurdly boujie part of London is just to the north of Westminster in St James, around [Fortnum & Mason](https://maps.app.goo.gl/sUvFJhDTcPs6uR2E9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which is a classic place to have a wildly overpriced afternoon tea. Poke around this area and you may uncover private palaces, [a recreation of Sherlock Holmes living room](https://maps.app.goo.gl/WdbbeWYE6A7NVQXu6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and secret member’s clubs you won't be allowed into. ![2 women sitting on black metal bench during daytime](https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1580860763046-57d5c5903518?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=M3wxMTc3M3wwfDF8c2VhcmNofDR8fGNhbWRlbiUyMHB1bmt8ZW58MHx8fHwxNzI1MDI1Mjc4fDA&ixlib=rb-4.0.3&q=80&w=2000) Photo by [Viktor Forgacs](https://unsplash.com/@sonance?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) / [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm%5Fsource=ghost&utm%5Fmedium=referral&utm%5Fcampaign=api-credit) ## **Adventure 4: Hampstead Heath and Camden (Zone 2)** In warm weather, the most *dreamy* way to fill a London day is by going for a swim in one of the Hampstead Heath ponds. In [peak summer](https://www.hampsteadheath.net/swimming-ponds?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) you have to book, so see what time slot you can get and plan from there (you don't have to book before noon or after 6pm, but there might be a queue). The Ladies Pond is literal paradise on earth (trans women and enbys are welcome); the Men’s Pond is a famous cruising spot, and there’s a family-friendly Mixed Pond if you’ve got a mixed-gender group. From Hampstead, it's a quick hop over to the traditional home of punks and goths, Camden. (Note: I find Camden overwhelming and far too crowded on the weekends, so try to do this adventure on a weekday if you can.) If your swimming time-slot means you’re *starting* in Hampstead Heath, this can be a good prelude to a night out in Dalston, Islington or Camden. - Start with brunch around adorable [Hampstead](https://maps.app.goo.gl/w3cxUf8onu5NCPY38?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). If you’re not very hungry, a quick coffee and pastry around [Hampstead Heath](https://maps.app.goo.gl/vfwZ2PQpDbSKozR67?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) overground station might be simpler. - Go to the ponds and enjoy your swim. - Swing past [Parliament Hill](https://maps.app.goo.gl/5M2uitZ5poGMGkns6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for a great view of the city. - Head to [Camden Market](https://maps.app.goo.gl/jFb7eQCd2Y9jpbYf9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (bus, Lime or overground) and explore. Don’t miss [Cyberdog](https://maps.app.goo.gl/J8EFrMqJ69g9Xfji8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for dressing like you're from the future. - When you’re hungry again, avoid the food at Camden Market itself, rather walk just 2 minutes to the far less busy [Hawley Wharf Market](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/an-opinionated-guide-to-your-first-time-in-london/). When you are fully outpeopled, you can either call it a day, head to your evening adventure, visit the [British Library](https://www.bl.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), or wander down the canal to [Regent's Park](https://maps.app.goo.gl/TnJK1KFFLLpLHcng6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), where you can sometimes spot the monkeys in the London Zoo. If your swimming time-slot means you’re *ending* in Hampstead Heath, start off in Camden Market (2-3 hours before), pick up some takeaways that you won’t mind eating cold, head to the Heath, enjoy your swim, and end the day with a picnic on [Parliament Hill](https://maps.app.goo.gl/5M2uitZ5poGMGkns6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). An optional sidequest for this adventure is [Highgate Cemetary](https://maps.app.goo.gl/3ZR9Crdd7Ljj7BSS6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), one of the loveliest old graveyards in the city, [where Karl Marx and Douglas Adams are buried](https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/highgate-cemetery?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ![architectural photography of brown building](https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1489130104649-4a429c0d006e?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=M3wxMTc3M3wwfDF8c2VhcmNofDU3fHxoYWNrbmV5fGVufDB8fHx8MTcyNTAyNTMwN3ww&ixlib=rb-4.0.3&q=80&w=2000) Photo by [Anjana Menon](https://unsplash.com/@anjimenon?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) / [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm%5Fsource=ghost&utm%5Fmedium=referral&utm%5Fcampaign=api-credit) ## **Adventure 5: Hackney!** Saving the best for last. This is *my* London, and the borough I love the most. Try to do this adventure on a weekend, if you can. I've got two variations depending on where you want to end up. If you're a fellow nerd, [I've got some suggested dorkier Hackney itineraries here.](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/london-for-nerds/) #### Option 1: You want to end up in Hackney or Dalston - Start in [Shoreditch](https://maps.app.goo.gl/ARVm8RFx94r2QHFF9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and head directly to [Brick Lane](https://maps.app.goo.gl/zdJ8jdE2V6uZzYEw5?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for cool [graffiti](https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/banksy-s-designated-graffiti-area?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and East London vibes. Grab a breakfast/brunch/lunch snack at one of the many markets. Around here, you might want to check out the [Brick Lane Vintage Market](https://maps.app.goo.gl/nCvewxtzhcrPU2aH9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) basement for odd old clothes, [Rough Trade East](https://maps.app.goo.gl/sCvEdAfUzuvddzsSA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for interesting new music inspiration, [Freedom Press](https://maps.app.goo.gl/3n3YduQZSBUwUiMb6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for anarchist literature, [Libreria Bookshop](https://maps.app.goo.gl/9VJdcvWPFvnH5VDv6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) which is tiny but adorable, [Urbiana](https://maps.app.goo.gl/tXHCfAMRfUqKjZTd8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for affordable unusual jewellery, or trendy [Spitalfields market](https://maps.app.goo.gl/jeYSiSnPAzxkaZJCA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). The one thing you should NOT miss is [Dennis Severs' House](https://maps.app.goo.gl/kjaxUH5V6gnpwzHJA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (Thursday - Sundays only, best to buy tickets before you go), it's hard to describe, but it's basically an old house that tells a story through time. - When you're over the crowds, either walk up via [Columbia Road](https://maps.app.goo.gl/WEPi5v8MPYFi4r3E6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (a good place to stop for a drink, except if it's Sunday and the flower market is on - in which case it will be too busy and you should stop at [Hackney City Farm](https://maps.app.goo.gl/Bf1G8EMqmo71p4TA7?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) instead). - Head to the [Viktor Wynd Museum of Curiosities](https://maps.app.goo.gl/RExE48JTEdgwYmrP8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for bizarro taxidermy (skip this if you have a weak stomach). Afterwards, cross the road and [walk down the steps](https://maps.app.goo.gl/YVpmh5Xybt3hHHPK6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to get onto the towpath that runs along the canal, then head west until you hit the [Cat & Mutton bridge](https://maps.app.goo.gl/nELL1bXHwcvkawnL6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (5-min). Climb up the stairs there to Broadway, where you'll find many superb dinner spots (my faves are [Koya Ko](https://maps.app.goo.gl/qLPQeqPHXCGM123y5?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Lardo](https://www.lardo.co.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Aya & Suki](https://maps.app.goo.gl/3Z17SDCksPgtWzd98?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)). Or, after the Viktor Wynd, you could head directly to Dalston and try [Acme Fire Cult](https://maps.app.goo.gl/tkqcvkKaTQfsWBav5?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Voodoo Ray's](https://maps.app.goo.gl/3GWzcYT4fmkaB2xw5?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Little Duck the Picklery](https://maps.app.goo.gl/s12CtRQoARWpvAJx8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or [Mangal II](https://maps.app.goo.gl/D1V9BaHcjvsXV2CV6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), then pop in for an expensive but mindblowing cocktail at [Bar With Shapes for a Name](https://maps.app.goo.gl/qGQk9DnmQt8RATyM6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). #### Option 2: You want to end up in Shoreditch or somewhere else in Zone 1 Do this route backwards to **end* in Shoreditch. - Start your day grabbing lunch on [Broadway](https://maps.app.goo.gl/cee1cQG7jmmeyosLA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) in London Fields (if it's a weekend, there'll be a market, but there are plenty of cute brunch spots there any day of the week (my faves are [Koya Ko](https://maps.app.goo.gl/qLPQeqPHXCGM123y5?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Pophams](https://share.google/j5L26V0NRxAJDRTKQ?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Cecilia](https://maps.app.goo.gl/4FGUrjp4ngKLdx5z5?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Aya & Suki](https://maps.app.goo.gl/3Z17SDCksPgtWzd98?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)). If you've got lots of energy, swing past the [Viktor Wynd Museum of Curiosities](https://maps.app.goo.gl/RExE48JTEdgwYmrP8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for bizarro taxidermy. - If it's Sunday, and it's still before 11am, walk down [Columbia Road](https://maps.app.goo.gl/WEPi5v8MPYFi4r3E6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to see the flower market. Otherwise, just Lime/bus/walk directly to Shoreditch. - Start at the top of [Brick Lane](https://maps.app.goo.gl/XVmS8EsuMn61tbaWA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) in Shoreditch for cool [graffiti](https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/banksy-s-designated-graffiti-area?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and East London vibes. Around here, you might want to check out the [Brick Lane Vintage Market](https://maps.app.goo.gl/nCvewxtzhcrPU2aH9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) basement for odd old clothes, [Rough Trade East](https://maps.app.goo.gl/sCvEdAfUzuvddzsSA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for interesting new music inspiration, [Freedom Press](https://maps.app.goo.gl/3n3YduQZSBUwUiMb6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for anarchist literature, [Libreria Bookshop](https://maps.app.goo.gl/9VJdcvWPFvnH5VDv6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) which is tiny but adorable, [Urbiana](https://maps.app.goo.gl/tXHCfAMRfUqKjZTd8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for affordable unusual jewellery, or trendy [Spitalfields market](https://maps.app.goo.gl/jeYSiSnPAzxkaZJCA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Explore [Dennis Severs' House](https://maps.app.goo.gl/kjaxUH5V6gnpwzHJA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (Thursday - Sundays only, best to buy tickets before you go), it's hard to describe, but it's basically an old house that tells a story through time. - Have dinner in Shoreditch. For the quintessential London experience, it's got to be at at [Dishoom](https://maps.app.goo.gl/uinNnnoSB4f3E4Ej9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), probably our most famous Indian restaurant, but I also like [Xi'an Biang Biang Noodles](https://maps.app.goo.gl/ivJDcMwnGVHG8iUu9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Lina Stores](https://maps.app.goo.gl/ZLSg6tP7nzUnTBsm8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Follow your nose to any of Shoreditch's many many vibey bars and pubs for pre-drinks (my fave is [Seed Library](https://maps.app.goo.gl/j8WB86Wgms65UgYU6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)), before heading out to your evening plans. The big Shoreditch clubs are [Village Underground](https://maps.app.goo.gl/A8H5cuv5E3JmDd3R9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [XOYO](https://maps.app.goo.gl/oo7BeSSdqtFihrQZ7?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Queen of Hoxton](https://maps.app.goo.gl/c8A1igHhrfojWFcW8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). # **Day trips** If you'd like to see more of England than London, my top suggestions are: 1. Windsor Castle & Oxford. Windsor Castle is by far the coolest old castle thing I've seen in the UK, and while you're out there you might as well go the extra hour (by train) to see Oxford. 2. Cambridge & Ely. Cambridge is a very compact, old, beautiful university town, and nearby Ely is the best tiny village in England (everyone there is obsessed with eels). 3. Bath is *juuuust* doable as a daytrip, but it's worth staying overnight if you can. Go to Bath if you love Jane Austen and want Bridgerton vibes. 4. Brighton is a supremely cute hipster seaside town. 5. St Albans is just an hour away if you want the quintessential tiny English village experience. Personally, I don't think Stonehenge is worth the faff; sorry druids. # **Avoid!** In my opinion, these London experiences are overrated and not worth the price or effort: - Madam Tussauds (unless you have kids) - The London Dungeon (unless you have morbid kids) - The London Eye - The utterly pointless cable car near Greenwich - Oxford Street (unless there's a very specific shop you need to find, which you cannot find elsewhere in the city - but honestly this whole area is a nightmare throng of tourists). - Piccadilly Circus - Harrods - Abbey Road (literally just a zebra crossing) - The Prime Meridian at the Royal Observatory in Greenwich (instead of paying for a ticket and standing in an interminable queue, just go north of the Royal Observatory, where you can stand on the silly line for free) ### Femme Feral URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/femme-feral/ Last updated: 2026-05-12T08:26:23.000Z **United Kingdom & SA** 9 April **| United States** 12 May 2026 [Buy in the U.S.](https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/783073/femme-feral-by-sam-beckbessinger/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Buy in the U.K.](https://www.bloomsbury.com/uk/femme-feral-9781526687876/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Buy in South Africa](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/femme-feral-south-africa/) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/03/Both-Covers.png) **Hyper-competent Ellie thinks she’s going through perimenopause, but discovers she’s actually turning into a werewolf in this feminist dark comedy.** Daughter’s not talking to her, husband’s not listening to her, and she's got a promotion coming up at work. Ellie is 46-years old and like most women, is already juggling too much. So it’s an inconvenient time to find herself beset by mid-life symptoms: hair sprouting in new places, running hot, trouble sleeping, losing time, finding bloodstains in all her clothing. And underneath it all, a boiling rage that threatens to disrupt the life she’s worked so hard to build. Her doctor diagnoses perimenopause. But it’s another twenty-eight-day cycle that’s taking hold, one that involves fur, teeth, and a not-insignificant amount of howling at the moon. Suddenly the troubles in her life – hot flushes, thankless family, spiralling to-do list, oblivious husband, the w\*nker promoted above her at work – seem almost ... bite­size. Only, the beast within isn’t easy to control, and its bloody trail is getting harder to hide. With an obsessive hunter on her trail and a growing fear of what she’s becoming, Ellie must find a way to yoke her fury before she tears through the people she loves. A deeply gratifying, highly addictive and provocative read, *Femme Feral* is an exhilarating expression of feminine rage, with a warning: If you swallow your anger, it’s sure to come back with a bite. [](https://x.com/walkingafterfoo/status/1813684352825635294?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/02/signed.jpg)](https://femmeferal.cmpgn.page/rXJ5D0?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) UK readers, get the special signed edition here: [https://femmeferal.cmpgn.page/rXJ5D0](https://femmeferal.cmpgn.page/rXJ5D0?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Published by Viking Penguin and Bloomsbury Archer. The US cover features an original illustration by the brilliant [Andreea Dumuta](https://www.instagram.com/galactixy%5Fillustrations/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). > **“Witty, thrilling, and SAVAGE." — Nat Cassidy** > **“A savage, witty, gory, heartfelt, utterly relatable rage fantasy and a helluva good time. Miranda July meets Stephen King.” –Lauren Beukes, *New York Times* bestselling author of *The Shining Girls*** > **'A fun and fierce look at womanhood and all the ways we hold back our rage. I laughed, cried and felt vindicated. Superb.'- Shubnum Khan** > **'A thrillingly gory and radical novel.’ - RED Magazine** 0:00 /0:17 1× Launch trailer #### Content warnings ****Graphic** - Animal death - Death - Drowning - Hospitalisation - Stalking ****Moderate** - Gore - Self-harm - Suicide - Grief over family death - Elder abandonment - Depression - Vermin (specifically rats and spiders) ****Minor** - Eating disorders - Domestic abuse - Fat phobia - Divorce - Anxiety If you are boycotting any books where LLMs were involved, one (and only one) paragraph of the book was generated by ChatGPT to make a point about the vacuousness of LLM-writing, and disclosed as such in the author's note. **If I've missed anything, please let me know!* ### Worldcon Reading List URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/worldcon-reading-list/ Last updated: 2024-08-16T13:04:26.000Z Hello loves! I'm just back from a nerd pilgrimage to Glasgow for Worldcon 2024, AKA the World Science Fiction Convention, AKA Dorkfest. For those unfamiliar, it's an annual gathering of all your favourite sci-fi, fantasy, and horror authors (and their fans) descending on one city for a weekend of magical unadulterated nerdery. It's also where the Hugo Awards and the Nommo Awards are handed out. This was my first time attending, and it did not disappoint. One of the most lovable things about Worldcon is how egalitarian it is. Anyone can apply to be on a panel or lead a workshop. This means you have debut authors on the same panels as veterans, which leads to some fascinating conversations. I heard [Martha Wells](https://www.instagram.com/marthawellswriter/?hl=en&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) comparing notes about what her debut publishing experience was like in the 1990s with [Rosalie Lin](https://www.instagram.com/linrosily/?hl=en&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), whose first book came out earlier this year, and [Nnedi Okorafor](https://www.instagram.com/nnediokorafor/?hl=en&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) discussing her spider phobia with actual entomologist [Jonathan Thornton](https://fantasy-hive.co.uk/author/jonathan-thornton/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and definitely-seven-thousand-spiders-in-a-trenchcoat [Adrian Tchaikovsky](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/children-of-time/). It also means George R. R. Martin attended the festival but wasn't on any panels, because [he didn't manage to submit the forms in time](https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/article/2024/jul/17/game-of-thrones-writers-dismay-as-he-is-frozen-out-of-glasgow-sci-fi-event-worldcon?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (George, we've all been there; 10/10 adorably relatable story). For authors, conventions and literary festivals are the closest we get to feeling like we have colleagues. It's where we can hang around the bar venting about the weird things about a writing career - as Oscar Wilde once accurately quipped: "When bankers get together for dinner, they discuss art. When artists get together for dinner, they discuss money." It left me feeling re-energised, re-connected, and buzzing with ideas. The other thing it left me with: a reading list longer than the list of Dwarves in *The Hobbit*. **Here are five new books I'm most hyped about.** UK readers, [here's a neat list on Bookshop.org](https://uk.bookshop.org/lists/five-books-i-m-hyped-about-reading-after-glasgow-worldcon-2024?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (where you can order them direct from your local indie bookshop instead of giving more money to Jeff Bezos). ### *Freakslaw* \- Jane Flett ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/08/image-7.png) A travelling circus that's going to TEMPT your small-town teenagers into the evils of QUEER DEVIANCE and WITCHCRAFT? Uh, yes please. I was sold on this book as soon as I heard Jane reading the opening page out loud in her delicious Scots brogue. Her prose is rich with specificity and weirdness, filled with instantly lovable characters. The cover is a marvel. It's set in the 90s. Also, apparently Jane's in [a Riot Grrrl band](https://kitchenlegrecordsberlin.bandcamp.com/album/razor-cunts-natures-pocket?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)?? If you liked [*Girls of Little Hope*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/girls-of-little-hope/), I think this will be right up your carnival alley. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/08/image-8.png) The scrumptious first page of Freakslaw [Freakslaw](https://uk.bookshop.org/a/12433/9780857529541?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) *It’s the summer of ’97 and the Scottish town of Pitlaw is itching for change.* *Enter the Freakslaw – a travelling funfair populated by deviant queers, a contortionist witch, the most powerful fortune teller, and other architects of mayhem. It doesn’t take long for the Freakslaw folk to infiltrate Pitlaw’s grey world, where the town’s teenagers – none more so than Ruth and Derek – are seduced by neon charms and the possibility of escape*. ### *Shigidi and the Brass Head of Obalufon* \- Wole Talabi ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/08/image-10.png) I've been a huge fan of [Wole Talabi](https://wtalabi.wordpress.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)'s short stories for years. It was magical to meet him and discover he's exactly as warm and generous in person, and even more of a delight to discover he's just published his first novel. And yoh, what a novel! It's about **a low-ranking Nigerian nightmare god leading a heist to retrieve a sacred artefact from the British Museum.** I mean, hi! This was one of the buzziest books of Worldcon. It won the [Nommo Award](https://www.africansfs.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for best novel and was nominated for a Nebula Award, a Locus Award and a British Science Fiction Association Award. Wole is a member of the [Sauuti Collective](https://sauuti.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a group of people co-creating a shared African-inspired fantasy world, and he [publishes a brilliant list every year of the best African SFF short stories](https://wtalabi.wordpress.com/2024/01/13/my-top-10-african-short-sff-of-2023/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (I was honoured to be included on his [2021 list](https://brittlepaper.com/2022/02/wole-talabis-10-best-african-sci-fi-and-fantasy-stories-of-2021/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)). After winning the Best Novel Nommo, he announced that since he's now won the award in *every single category*, he's [recusing himself from ever being nominated again to give other writers a turn](https://wtalabi.wordpress.com/2024/08/14/drink-and-drop-the-cup-my-nommo-award-acceptance-speech-or-something-like-it/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It was the classiest mic-drop move! Run, don't walk to read this one. [Shigidi](https://uk.bookshop.org/a/12433/9781399615655?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) *Shigidi is a disgruntled and demotivated nightmare god in the Orisha spirit company, reluctantly answering prayers of his few remaining believers to maintain his existence long enough to find his next drink. When he meets Nneoma, a sort-of succubus with a long and secretive past, everything changes for him.* *Together, they attempt to break free of his obligations and the restrictions that have bound him to his godhood and navigate the parameters of their new relationship in the shadow of her past. But the elder gods that run the Orisha spirit company have other plans for Shigidi, and they are not all aligned--or good.* *From the boisterous streets of Lagos to the swanky rooftop bars of Singapore and the secret spaces of London, Shigidi and Nneoma will encounter old acquaintances, rival gods, strange creatures, and manipulative magicians as they are drawn into a web of revenge, spirit business, and a spectacular heist across two worlds that will change Shigidi's understanding of himself forever and determine the fate of the Orisha spirit company.* ### *The Husbands* \- Holly Gramazio ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/08/image-9.png) Another novel with a really fun concept: imagine that every time your husband went into the attic, a different husband came back out. This one's been blurbed by Gabrielle Zevin (of [*Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58784475-tomorrow-and-tomorrow-and-tomorrow?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)) and sounds like a wild romp. *When Lauren returns home to her flat in London late one night, she is greeted at the door by her husband, Michael. There’s only one problem—she’s not married. She’s never seen this man before in her life. But according to her friends, her much-improved decor, and the photos on her phone, they’ve been together for years.* *As Lauren tries to puzzle out how she could be married to someone she can’t remember meeting, Michael goes to the attic to change a lightbulb and abruptly disappears. In his place, a new man emerges, and a new, slightly altered life re-forms around her. Realizing that her attic is creating an infinite supply of husbands, Lauren confronts the question: If swapping lives is as easy as changing a lightbulb, how do you know you’ve taken the right path? When do you stop trying to do better and start actually living?* So kind of like if dating on Bumble took place via real estate. I asked Holly if she has a real-life husband and, if so, how he feels about the book. She responded, "Well, we don't have an attic, so he's not too worried." [The Husbands](https://uk.bookshop.org/a/12433/9781784745356?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## *Extremophile* \- Ian Green ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/08/image-12.png) This one's already getting eager reviews in [*The Guardian*](https://www.theguardian.com/books/article/2024/aug/09/the-best-recent-science-fiction-and-fantasy-reviews-roundup?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and it sounds like a breathless split-lip biopunk thriller about the climate apocalypse. **Charlie and Parker are punks by night, biohackers by day, living in the stuttering decay of 2043 climate-collapse London.* They pay for the beer they don't steal with the money from ZODIAC CODE, a DNA astrology site, and Charlie makes bio-bespoke augments for criminals, punks, and eco-warriors. They have to deal with disgruntled clients, scene kids who don't dig their band, and navigating a city owned wholly by the violence of corporate interest and criminality. Their world is split into three GREEN – still trying to save the world; BLUE – trying to profit while they can, and BLACK – who see no hope left. When a group of extremist GREEN activists hire them for a series of jobs ranging from robbery to murder, Charlie knows they should walk away. But Parker wants to make a difference, and for Charlie maybe these are the jobs that will make them feel anything other than BLACK. Facing off against faceless corporations, amoral biohackers, and criminally insane cyberpunks in an escalating biological arms race, Charlie will have to choose what she believes in. Is there still hope, and does she have a right to grab it?* [Extremophile](https://uk.bookshop.org/a/12433/9781804545843?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ### *Thornhedge* \- T. Kingfisher *Thornhedge* won the Hugo Award for Best Novella, and immediately jumped to the top of my reading list. It's a fairy tale retelling starring a toad. *There's a princess trapped in a tower. This isn't her story.* *Meet Toadling. On the day of her birth, she was stolen from her family by the fairies, but she grew up safe and loved in the warm waters of faerieland. Once an adult though, the fae ask a favor of Toadling: return to the human world and offer a blessing of protection to a newborn child. Simple, right?* *But nothing with fairies is ever simple.* *Centuries later, a knight approaches a towering wall of brambles, where the thorns are as thick as your arm and as sharp as swords. He's heard there's a curse here that needs breaking, but it's a curse Toadling will do anything to uphold…* T. Kingfisher (Ursula Vernon) is just one of the most FUN fantasy writers working today. [*A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking*](https://uk.bookshop.org/a/12433/9781614505242?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)is about a teenage wizard whose magic only extends to baked goods, so she enchants gingerbread men to do her bidding and her familiar is a sourdough starter. [***Nettle and Bone***](https://uk.bookshop.org/a/12433/9781803360997?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)was one of my favourite books of 2023, and featured a gravewitch, the world's most lovable skeleton dog, and a chicken possessed by a demon. She's one of the novelists I turn to whenever I'm in a reading slump and want to remember that reading books is supposed to feel like play, not homework. *Thornhedge* sounds like a tasty treat. [Thornhedge](https://uk.bookshop.org/a/12433/9781803364230?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Wishing you carnival rides and Batmobiles, Sam ### Entangled histories URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/entangled-histories/ Last updated: 2024-08-02T10:02:18.000Z Hello loves! Last week, I took a few days off writing my next novel [Cuckoobird](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/cuckoobird-live-writing-journal/) to bob about in a river in the middle of France, about 3 hours south of Paris (wine was drunk; no Olympic medals were awarded). The river was teeming with wildlife. We caught glimpses of voles, beavers, storks, frogs, and spindly water striders. But the thing that made me hoot with delight and almost fall out of our canoe was a sighting of one of my favourite birds, the marvellously extra Bee-Eater. I was excited because, well, look at her: ![A brightly-coloured bird (the European Bee-Eater)](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/08/image.png) European bee-eater (Merops apiaster) at Ichkeul National Park in northern Tunisia. Photo by Elgollimoh, CC BY-SA 3.0 [https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0](https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), via Wikimedia Commons. As the kids say, the drip is fire. The Bee-Eater is a bird who heard their ex was going to be at this party and came wearing their revenge outfit. Evolution asked them what colour feathers they wanted and these birds said, "YES". They eat *wasps and bees,* for heaven's sake,using their beaks to smash them against rocks to remove the stingers. Tell me that's not metal. But it's not just that these technicolour marvels are so fun to spot; it's also that - to me - they're home. Despite annoyingly being called "European Bee-Eaters", they spend October to April south of the Sahara, and thousands of them return to South Africa every year. Growing up, my dad and I had a Sunday morning tradition of waking up before sunrise, driving out to [Rietvlei Nature Reserve](https://rietvlei-reserve.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and watching the meerkats. We'd often see the bee-eaters there, dazzling flashes of blue and red as they swooped through the air, hunting bugs. Historically, they didn't come as far north as England, but as the climate has warmed, they've been spotted here more and more frequently. Since 2022, a recurring breeding site seems to have established itself in Norfolk. Around 20% of all birds are migrants, making epic journeys each year to follow the warmth and food, to find love, for easier living. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/08/image-4.png) Statue honouring the Windrush Generation in front of my local town hall. It's called "Warm Shores", by Thomas J Price. Photograph: Hackney Council. London is a city of migrants: birds and people. [37% of Londoners weren't born in the UK](https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/populationandmigration/internationalmigration/bulletins/ukpopulationbycountryofbirthandnationality/yearendingjune2021?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and many more are the children or grandchildren of people who were born elsewhere. That's no accident. As one of my favourite bits of local graffiti says, in reference to the Windrush Generation: **"We are here because you were there."** It's also exactly what makes London so wonderful, how much it's a melting pot of everywhere the British formerly colonised (i.e. it's a melting pot of basically everywhere). It's a city that holds a microcosm of the world. The Royal Academy of Arts hosted an exhibition in April called "Entangled Pasts: Art, Colonialism and Change", looking at art between 1768 and the present that addresses Britain's colonial legacy. Honestly, I found it quite infuriating. That verb, "entangled", is curiously neutral, and there was remarkably little engagement with what colonialism actually *was*, the brutality and annihilation of it, how much we still live with its consequences. The only artworks that felt properly outraged were those tackling slavery, like Betye Saar's ["I will bend but I will not break"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQ0XRe6IlCE&ab%5Fchannel=AlexiaLewis&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (racism content warning on that link). ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/08/image-3.png) Kara Walker - "no world" (2010) In general, you get the sense that a lot of English people understand that Transatlantic Slave Trade = bad, but still feel pretty positive about the Empire as a whole. I've been endlessly surprised, since moving here, how little most British people learn about the British Empire in school, the huge blind spot they have about the role England actually played in the world and how it came to be as wealthy as it is. In the [handbook](https://lifeintheuktests.co.uk/study-guide/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) you get to study for the citizenship exam, there are like 20 pages about World War II, and exactly **3 paragraphs** on the British Empire, 1/3 of which is about how the British so nicely abolished slavery and gave all the nations their independence back when they asked. I remember talking to an English friend the week after the Queen died, and her telling me how upsetting it had been seeing all the posts online about things she'd never considered (like the Mau Mau, the origins of the crown jewels...). She said, "It feels like my grandmother died, and now at her funeral I'm learning she was a Nazi." That friend is a progressive, kind, thoughtful person, and she had just *never been taught* the history of her own country. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/08/image-2.png) From a 2019 YouGov poll. [Source](https://yougov.co.uk/topics/international/articles-reports/2020/03/11/how-unique-are-british-attitudes-empire?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Right now, there are far-right [riots across England](https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/article/2024/aug/01/police-in-england-urged-to-protect-mosques-as-far-right-plans-more-rallies?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about who gets to be British. They make me really fucking angry. There's no version of contemporary Britain that exists without the contributions - both willingly made and not - of the rest of the world. Our histories were "entangled" by violence and conquest. But also through migration, through people building homes and lives here, working, loving, making art, helping to build this country, and bringing the best parts of home with them. This country is at its best when it honours those contributions. Celebrates them. Understands that *this is the best of what Britain is*: a melting pot. Walking around the city, I spot glimpses of South Africa all the time. The Nelson Mandela statue in Southbank. The [self-portraits by Zanele Muholi](https://www.tate.org.uk/whats-on/tate-modern/zanele-muholi?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) which are currently blanketing the Tube (advertising their remarkable show which is on at the Tate Mod, don't miss it). The plaques commemorating Ruth First and Joe Slovo's house in Camden, and the statue of Oliver Tambo outside the Muswell Hill house where he lived two decades in exile. The bolts of Shweshwe for sale at Ridley Road market. The biltong kiosks at every train station. The statue of Manche Masemola on Westminster Abbey. The smell of Bunny Chow in Spitalfields. The flash of a bee-eater. The myriad South African accents overheard on the bus, the chime of home. There are so many of us here. Of course, that makes me sad sometimes. But also, I am so often filled with pride when I see what we're bringing to the world. London is magic. And it's magic because of *us*. ## Migrant fiction and nonfiction Some of my favourite books about the migrant experience: - Isabella Hammad's [*Enter Ghost*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/59725231-enter-ghost?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), about an actress who returns home to Palestine to take a role in a West Bank production of *Hamlet*. Such a powerful exploration of how migration leaves you with fractured, multiplied identities. - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's [*Americanah*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15796700-americanah?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*,* about a young Nigerian woman struggling to adapt to life in America while the boy she loved grapples with being undocumented in London. A story about growing up, race, and what it means to return home. - NoViolet Bulawayo's [*We Need New Names*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15852479-we-need-new-names?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a powerful story about a young Zimbabwean woman finding the American dream isn't what she'd hoped. - Alistair Mackay's [*The Child*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/210813999-the-child?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), about a South African man who returns to Cape Town after living in New York because he wants to adopt a child, just as the city enters the worst days of the water crisis. A remarkable novel about family and homecoming. - Sisonke Msimang's [*Always Another Country*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40056763-always-another-country?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F15), a powerful memoir about growing up in exile, and coming home to a country that failed to live up to its ideals. Interesting to pair with Rian Malan's [*My Traitor's Heart*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/61118.My%5FTraitor%5Fs%5FHeart?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F18), another exile return story about post-Apartheid South Africa. - Mohsin Hamid's [*Exit West*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30688435-exit-west?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a magical-realism love story about having to flee a civil war. - Barbara Kingsolver's [*The Poisonwood Bible*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/7244.The%5FPoisonwood%5FBible?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), about a family of missionaries who move to the Belgian Congo in 1959\. Things do not go well. - [*The Good Immigrant*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/28668534-the-good-immigrant?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)**,** edited by Nikesh Shukla, a collection of essays about what it means to grow up in Britain as someone treated as an other. - Isabel Allende's [*My Invented Country*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/16528.My%5FInvented%5FCountry?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)***,*** about what it feels like to love and belong to a country you have lived most of your life exiled from. - Bernadine Evaristo's [*Girl, Woman, Other*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41081373-girl-woman-other?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), poetic, interweaving short stories that span decades, many of them about migration to the UK. ## The First Murder on Mars ![Cover for the book, First Murder on Mars by Sam Wilson](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/08/image-1.png) Migration across the world is one thing, but we may be only a few decades away from seeing people leaving to build a new life on a whole different planet. My dear friend [Sam Wilson](https://www.samwilsonwriting.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) recently released a book exploring that theme called *The First Murder on Mars*. Friends, it SLAPS. The plot unfolds in two timelines: 2034, in the early days of the Mars colony, when the first human is born on the red planet - and grows up to commit its first murder, and 2103, when a bodyguard named Dylan Ward is caught up in a dangerous investigation to expose the truth of that murder. Think murder-mystery meets *The Expanse* meets *Mad Max: Fury Road*, on Mars. What I loved about it is how Sam weaves in snippets of South Africa's colonial history, specifically the dynamics of the early Dutch East India-run Cape Colony employees in conflict with the first generations of local-born "Afrikaners", and thinks about how similar dynamics might play out on a Mars colony. Also, okes, it's just so FUN. It's a wild rover ride across the red planet which is somehow both exhilarating and deeply thoughtful about how societies are built, captured, and liberated. It’s meticulously researched, vividly imagined and moves faster than a spaceship. I bloody adored this book. If you're in the UK, Sam Wilson's going to be at [Glasgow Worldcon](https://glasgow2024.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) between 8-12 August, along with Nnedi Okorafor, Lauren Beukes, Ben Aaronovitch, Wole Talabi, and so many other awesome people. I'll be there too, come hang out! ## Bongeziwe Mabandla Speaking of South Africans being magic, [here's the song](https://open.spotify.com/track/45wn7psfbNiguoHtYqe8Z4?si=ca7a30ae72ad4a6a&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) I've been playing on repeat recently (among all the Chappell Roan). A few months ago, at a (sublime) Bongeziwe Mabandla concert in Dalston, and ended up chatting to the woman in the seat next to me, who'd just moved to London from Jozi. We started reminiscing about an Afropunk festival we'd both gone to in 2018 at Constitution Hill, how there was one of those Biblical Joburg thunderstorms, and the techies started packing away the sound equipment, and thousands of attendees ran for cover under the tiny food marquees, but then how - in true Joburg fashion - everyone just started dancing, sardined against each other, no music just vibes, dancing with thousands of strangers to the sound of the rain. --- Last thing: a weird request, but does anyone know of a social worker based in the UK who deals with fostering situations? I need to ask some questions for my novel. If you do, please hit reply and put me in touch. Thank yoooooou! Wishing you bee-eaters, gold medals, and things that remind you of home, Sam ### Big news! URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/big-news/ Last updated: 2024-07-24T15:04:59.000Z Hello loves. I've missed you. Thank you for your patience during the unplanned newsletter hiatus of the past few months. I've... had a lot going on! I'm extremely pleased that I can finally tell you about the biggest thing, which is this: I've signed a publishing deal for *Femme Feral*, the novel I was calling *Snarltooth*, with Viking Penguin (US) and Bloomsbury (UK). This has been one of the most surreal, magical experiences of my life. Someday I will tell you the full story, involving an auction that took place mostly while I was in the Tankwa desert and me sobbing my eyes out with joy while standing in the bathroom queue at a padstal after finally regaining Internet access. I'll be able to share more details about the plot and the launch date soon. In short, it's a big thing. It's a wonderful thing. I have been a bundle of emotions about it (hence this season's theme: [the Summer of Feeling](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/life-themes/)). Some of those emotions have been surprisingly - uh - difficult? Like, "oh god what if now everyone hates the book and realises I'm a giant fraud" emotions, and "I don't deserve this" emotions, and "please can I just hide in a hole until all this blows over" emotions. That's not what you expect when something you've hoped for happens, but human brains are weird, my dudes. The uncomplicatedly wonderful aspect is that it's a two-book deal, which means I also have funding and a deadline to write my *next* novel, which is absolutely friggen magical, and has freed me from a lot of my angst about whether trying to be a full-time novelist was an absurd idea. I'm calling the next novel *Cuckoobird*, and aiming to write the first draft by the end of the year. If you're interested in what the process of writing a book actually looks like (for me), I'm keeping[**a live journal here**](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/cuckoobird-live-writing-journal/) tracking what I'm doing every day (including all the naps and procrastination). I call this strategy "motivation via the threat of public embarrassment". As for what's going to happen with this newsletter over the next few months: in short, I don't know. I've missed writing to you. I'm going to try to write more often, but I don't know yet what shape it's going to take. I'm so grateful for your continued support while I figure that out. In the meantime, here are five other things I wanted to share. ## 1: The world is awful; the world is getting so much better On the theme of conflicting emotions, I recently loved [this short article from Max Roser in Our World in Data](https://ourworldindata.org/much-better-awful-can-be-better?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about how when we talk about the state of the world, we have a tendency to either get toonihilistic about all the real, terrible tragedies that are unfolding around us; or too complacent about how much better things are than they used to be. It's true that the world has huge problems, **and** **also** that we're making huge progress in fixing many of them, **and also** that we could be doing so much more. Caring about the world means finding a way to hold onto all three of those truths at the same time. ***"The world is awful. The world is much better. The world can be much better. All three statements are true at the same time.*** *"Discussions about the state of the world too often focus on the first statement: The news highlights what is going wrong, rarely mentioning the positive developments in our country or the world as a whole. A pushback on this narrative takes it to the other extreme, which is equally damaging. Solely communicating the progress that the world has achieved becomes unhelpful, or even repugnant, when it glosses over the problems people are facing...* *"It’s hard to resist falling for only one of these perspectives. But to see that a better world is possible, we need to see that both are true at the same time: the world is awful, and the world is much better."* ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/07/awful-20better-20can-20be-20better-20All-20three-20visualizations_10787.png) His colleague [Hannah Richie's book *Not the End of the World*](https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2024/jan/02/hannah-ritchie-not-the-end-of-the-world-extract-climate-crisis?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) talks about this in the context of the climate emergency, making the case that there are many reasons to feel hope. > Let’s take a close look at where we are with carbon emissions. They are still rising, but the world has already passed the peak of *per capita* emissions. It happened a decade ago. Most people are unaware of this ... In the UK, we now emit about the same as someone in the 1850s. I emit the same as my great-great-great-grandparents. And I have a much, much higher standard of living. While I don't think her book does enough to address the political/collective action challenges we face, it's a useful corrective against the utter hopelessness of a lot of other reporting around the issue. The problem with doomerism is that it quickly leads to despair, the attitude of, "we're already fucked, so why even try?" We need to find ways to talk about the magnitude of the problems, ***and also*** the power of the solutions. *Femme Feral* is a book about rage, and I've been thinking a lot about how helpful rage can be to motivate change. We *should* be furious about the injustices of the world. But fury can grow out of love. It can coexist with gratitude, and with hope. Perhaps it must. ## 2: A 10-week writing workshop in London Starting in September, I'm going to be running a ten-week writing workshop with Bath Spa University London aimed at authors who are writing for young people (spanning picture books all the way to young adult novels). I'll be working intensely with a group of eight writers to develop and refine their craft with weekly writing prompts, discussions, and peer feedback. I'm hoping to create a creatively nourishing space to begin a new project, experiment with voice/style/genre, or finish an existing manuscript. If you know any authors in London who'd love a bit of structure, support and inspiration, please [pass on the details!](https://www.bathspa.ac.uk/courses/sc-wfyp-writing-workshop-london/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## 3: A discussion about invertebrate minds *While societies are becoming more conscious of issues around animal welfare, poorly understood *invertebrate* animals - from bees to octopuses - are often overlooked and underestimated. What can we do to protect their welfare, and what steps are proportionate?* I had the opportunity to discuss that question with three brilliant people at the London School of Economics Festival a few weeks ago: [Professor Elli Leadbeater](https://www.royalholloway.ac.uk/studying-here/applying/my-why/professor-elli-leadbeaters-why/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), an expert on the social intelligence of bees, [Daria Zakharova](https://x.com/dariazakharova9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a philosopher researching artificial intelligence and consciousness, and [Professor Jonathan Birch](https://www.edgeofsentience.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), who leads the Foundations of Animal Sentience Project. It was a fascinating chat encompassing: 1. What do we know about the minds of invertebrates? 2. Insects that sleep, play and learn. 3. The role of storytelling and art in expanding our empathy for animals who are very different to us. 4. What does the research about invertebrate minds mean for how we treat them? A [podcast recording of the discussion is available here.](https://www.lse.ac.uk/lse-player?id=33337baa-32e0-4486-a89c-ca88b0cae2a3&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Invertebrate minds: from spiders to octopusesOur panel discusses how to include invertebrate animals from spiders to sea creatures in debates on animal welfare to ensure their interests are protected and promoted.![](https://www.lse.ac.uk/site-elements/img/touch-icon.png)London School of Economics and Political ScienceLondon School of Economics and Political Science![](https://www.lse.ac.uk/image-library/player/episode/23-0683-1200x600-insects1.xbd452b43.jpg)](https://www.lse.ac.uk/lse-player?id=33337baa-32e0-4486-a89c-ca88b0cae2a3&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## 4: Inflation is a mindfuck When I was in high school, a 330ml can of Coca-Cola cost 2-rand from the tuckshop. Today, a can of Coke costs 11-rand, and the can is only 300ml. The liquid inside hasn't gotten any more delicious; it's been exactly the same recipe since 1985 (they took out the cocaine in 1903). The difference is that 2-rand is *worth less* than it was when I was a child. That's **inflation**, and it's very easy to lose sight of how much it impacts your life. In recent conversations with friends and family back in South Africa, I've been struck by how everyone seems particularly stressed about money at the moment, and how often they **blame themselves** for this ("Our spending has gotten out of control," "I didn't get the raise I was hoping for," etc.). Well, here's something that I hope offers some perspective and validation: because wage increases haven't kept up with inflation, **the average South African now has *half* the disposable income today that they did eight years ago** ([source](https://www.oldmutual.co.za/v3/assets/blt0554f48052bb4620/blt5ee7cdd3f3cbb1fe/64b7b2adc1baf4a1e35b575d/OMSIM%5F2023%5FReport.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)). If you feel like you’re struggling, it’s not just you. So many people are running as fast as they can, blaming themselves for not getting where they want to be, not acknowledging they’re running on a treadmill. And that treadmill is being attacked by murder hornets. The good news? There are some early indications that inflation may be easing. Hold tight, and please be kind to yourself. ## 5: Crochet while the world burns As a classic Geriatric Millennial, my current obsession while trying to hold all of my stupid conflicting *feeeeelings* is that I've been learning how to crochet. It's a brilliant skill to learn because: - You can do it while you're doing other things, like sitting on Zoom calls, watching TV, riding trains, listening to audiobooks, or laughing at memes. - It's portable. - It's a hobby but it also feels productive, which is great if you grew up in Pretoria and have too much internalised Calvinism. - It's meditative, connecting your mind and your body in a deeply calming way. - It only takes about 1-2 hours of active learning before you're able to start producing things that you like (unlike, say, piano, which I practiced for about 500 hours as a teenager and was still barely able to produce out-of-time Chopsticks). - It's a hobby that results in the production of endless silly gifts you can give the people you love! - You don't need to buy a lot of stuff, just one hook and some balls of yarn. - Mistakes can always be unravelled. - It connects you to a long tradition: when I crochet, I remember watching my mum crochet, and her mum, and thinking how you can follow these practices back through tens of thousands of years of human history. If you're interested in giving it a go, I wrote [a rough guide to how to get started](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/a-learning-path-for-crochet/)[.](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/a-learning-path-for-crochet/) However you're managing all the complicated emotions that go into being a person, I'm wishing you soothing hobbies, hope for the future, and righteous fury. Love Sam ### A learning path for crochet! URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/a-learning-path-for-crochet/ Last updated: 2024-07-25T07:34:52.000Z Learn to crochet! It's fun, portable, and results in endless silly gifts you can give to people you love. If you've literally never picked up a crochet needle before, here's a step-by-step guide to getting started, from someone who's still a beginner herself (and remembers how daunting it can be)! ## **The basics** **Step 1: Obtain supplies** Find your local haberdashery (shop that sells sewing and knitting things) or yarn shop. There will almost certainly be one nearby, probably run by a kindly witch. It's worth finding a physical shop, because it's really helpful to be able to pop in and ask for advice or pick up an extra ball of yarn if you run out halfway through a project. You don't need to buy much! For now, just get: - **One ball of yarn** in a colour you like. Get a light colour (not black or navy), because it's easier to see your stitches. Look for a medium-weight acrylic yarn - wool and cotton feel nicer and are more sustainable, but they're more difficult to unravel when you make a mistake (and you'll make lots of mistakes). An acrylic-wool blend is also fine. It might be labelled "medium", "worsted" or "Aran". Ask the kindly witch if you're confused. - **One crochet hook** in a size that matches the yarn. If you look on the yarn label, you'll see that it has a tiny picture of a crochet hook and a size underneath, e.g. 3.5mm. That's the size crochet hook recommended for that yarn. Ideally, start with a 3.5mm-5mm hook. If you can, get a hook with a rubber handle. - (Optional) **A darning needle**. This is used to sew individual crochet pieces together, but you can also just use your hook. Even better - if you have a friend or relative who crochets, just ask if you can borrow some of their supplies. **Step 2: Learn how to make a basic slip knot and a chain** Watch this video and learn how to make a basic slip knot and chain. Just practice that for a while over the next few days. Make chains, pull them undone again, over and over, until you can do it without watching the video to remind yourself how it's done. ## Your first project (Newbie) Once you're comfortable with slipknots and chains, learn your first crochet stitch (single crochet) and make a thing! I suggest following this tutorial to make an ear warmer: they're mega-simple, small, and it's really motivating to finish something. It doesn't matter if you don't wear headbands, just give it to someone who does. This simple project will teach you a lot: 1. How to start and make a foundation row. 2. Single-crochet. 3. Turning. 4. Counting your stitches. 5. Ending your project. 6. Weaving two pieces together. 7. The AWESOME SATISFACTION of crocheting a thing! If you really don't want to make a headband, other good first projects are washcloths and bookmarks, just find a tutorial that specifies that it's for absolute beginners and only uses one type of stitch. ## Granny squares (Advanced Newbie) Once you've made a really simple thing, learn how to make a granny square! This will introduce you to a number of new ideas: magic circles, double-crochet stitches and working in the round. This is a great tutorial for beginners. You'll need about an hour of focussed time the first time you watch the video. Pause as often as you need. You will mess up! The lovely thing about crochet is that it's very easy to just unravel back to where you went wrong and start again. I unravelled two whole squares before I managed to make one that looked correct! Once you've made your first square, go ahead and make a bunch more. Make squares until you no longer need to check the instructions, and you can bust them out while watching TV or talking to a friend. The point of this step is to put in enough **repetition to drill the basic movements** into your brain until they feel automatic. If you like, [assemble the granny squares into something](https://www.sumoftheirstories.com/blog/brilliant-things-to-make-with-granny-squares?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) cute, or just use them as coasters. ## Consolidate your learning (Beginner) I believe it's more useful to first learn a skill on an actual project you care about, and ***then*** layer in some of the theoretical stuff. Once you've made a headband and some granny squares, that's a good time to do a little more explicit learning. Your best option is to find an experienced crocheter and just watch them. For instance, my local library hosts a weekly "knit and natter" club. If that's not an option, there are loads of [free video series online](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLpolLUf9SLHheKf9P3zaiQpEiBp3%5F3dBe&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), or Zoe Bateman's book [*You Will Be Able to Crochet By the End Of This Book*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/50892070-you-will-be-able-to-crochet-by-the-end-of-this-book?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is brilliant. The next major skills you need to learn are: 1. How to control your tension. 2. How to change colour/yarn. 3. How to increase and decrease. 4. The basic stitches (single, double, half-double etc.) 5. Working front loop only/back loop only. At this point, start a notebook or list of ideas for beginner-friendly projects that you'd like to try that have simple video tutorials, and work through them in what looks like increasing complexity. I find it very motivating to make gifts for people! At this stage, projects I made included: - A simple [ribbed beanie](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhjtiuwEss8&ab%5Fchannel=CherilynQ&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - An [infinity scarf](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mePrUG7JFuI&ab%5Fchannel=JototheWorldCreations&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - A potplant [pot cover](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2J6IO4xv%5Fk4&ab%5Fchannel=MadebyLunda&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - A [market bag.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZH1xsrgSblA&ab%5Fchannel=HandmadeByMei&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - A smol cute [penguin](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIxAqF7Cbss&ab%5Fchannel=RoseandLilyCrochet&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (little crocheted animals are called Amigurumi). If you make enough different things, you'll eventually cover all of these skills! At this level, have fun experimenting with different yarns, and you might want to buy a couple more hooks in different sizes to go with them. Don't get lured into buying all the other gadgets like stitch markers (just use safety pins) or fancy yarn snippers shaped like birds (I'm sure you already have scissors). ## Level up (Advanced Beginner > Intermediate) Things get real when you start to **read patterns**, and make **fancy decorative stitches**. My advice? Don't rush this. It's so much harder to learn to read crochet patterns if you're not yet comfortable with all the basic skills. Keep making beginner-level projects until you feel comfortable with all the skills in the previous step. When you're ready, [learn to read a crochet pattern](https://sarahmaker.com/read-crochet-pattern/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and find an "advanced beginner" or "intermediate" one that excites you. I am *juuuuust* getting to this level. But at this point, I'm planning to make things like [striped legwarmers](https://thecraftymummy.com/2016/05/how-to-crochet-leg-warmers-for-dancers/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [wavy jumpers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Kdtb3STdj0&ab%5Fchannel=OnethiirdCrochet&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [children's toys](https://www.lovecrafts.com/en-gb/p/mollie-the-bunny-free-toy-crochet-pattern-for-kids-in-paintbox-yarns-cotton-aran-by-paintbox-yarns?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). From here, the world is your Amigurumi oyster! Happy crocheting :) ### MAMA live writing journal URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/cuckoobird-live-writing-journal/ Last updated: 2026-09-02T12:08:54.000Z As an experiment in radical writerly transparency, here's a live journal of my progress writing my next novel, which I'm calling *MAMA* (née *Cuckoobird,* née *Sweetrot -* the title will almost certainly change at some point). I try to work on the novel Monday to Friday mornings, but sometimes I have to switch over to other writing projects for a few weeks/months at a time. ## 11 June 2024 Day 1! A blank page. Everything is marvellous possibility; the book is in the best state it will ever be – perfect, and entirely hypothetical. Armed only with the 1-page pitch that I sold to my publishers, I spent the day at the British Library with my best friend, trying to enter the world of the story. Skimmed some books and journal articles about Irish folklore, specifically changeling myths. Did some free writing inspired by prompts in Alan Watt's *The 90 Day Novel*, mostly trying to work out who my protagonist is and what she wants. ## 17 June 2024 Imagined a first scene. It's feeling pretty fun! Decided not to set myself a daily word target this week and rather let myself just play. Did some research into the protagonist's Olivia's main obsession (the intelligence of black soldier flies). ## 18 June 2024 Wrote some notes about the setting and the world. Did some more thinking about the protagonist and research into her interests. Did a rough plotting exercise with Post-Its. Put together a reading list and a watching list. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/07/IMG_6363.jpg) Fun with plotting ## 19 June 2024 Turned plotting notes into rough plot outlines. Right now, there are three options with quite different endings. Set up my writing app Ulysses. ## 20 June 2024 Spent the day in the British Library imagining the key secondary characters. Talked my longsuffering partner and bestie through the outlines and decided to combine two of them. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/07/obsidian-1.gif) A map of notes in Obsidian (my note-taking app) ## 21 June 2024 Finalised a version of the outline that feels good enough to get going with. ## 24 June 2024 It's my birrrrrrrfday! And I wrote the first 1,000 words. Feel like I'm finding Olivia's voice. ## 26 June 2024 A great day at the British Library, after I spent yesterday couch rotting with a hangover, lol. Wrote 1,500 words, more notes than prose, but that's okay. Had a good breakthrough about Olivia's relationship with her husband. Sent off some interview requests. Finding it tricky to write about the Cotswolds because I haven't been there in years, so started planning a research trip. ## 27 June 2024 Wrote 1,500 words. Feel like I'm building a skeleton – most of the scenes right now are barely more than notes. That's fine! Flesh can go on the skeleton later. Heck, I'm not even making a skeleton – I'm conjuring bones from thin air, who the fuck knows what order they'll go in, or if I've produced a thigh bone or a pigskull. The big win today was beginning to write the village into existence. Also thought a bit more about Olivia's life and invented a few more key characters. ## 28 June 2024 Wrote 1,700 words. Tried the first horror scene. Reminding myself of Jordan Peale: "The first draft is making sand, so later I can make sandcastles." It's feeling quite dreamlike, and like these terrors are bubbling up from a deep meditative/trance state. Also went down a little rabbit hole around Midsomer Murders and other Cotswolds lore. ## 1 July 2024 Slow! Felt a little ill. Did some more planning of my research trip. Thought about the setting in more detail. Only wrote a tiny 360 words of prose, which is not nothing. ## 2 July 2024 Another difficult writing day – didn't manage to get a word out. Did manage to interview someone, though, who had brilliant insights about Olivia's field of research. I feel like I have a fake supervisor for my fake PhD 😄 ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/07/IMG_6491.jpg) Learning some disgusting facts about flies ## 3 July 2024 After a slow start, I went to the Southbank Centre and wrote almost 3,000 words. Wrote a rough draft of the inciting incident scene. It was a sex scene, which felt weird to be writing in public, so I chickened out and wrote the whole thing in euphemisms, which might actually be much funnier than if I'd written it straight? Feel like I'm stepping through time a little too slowly, perhaps, writing what characters are doing moment to moment. But I think that's how I always write first drafts. ## 4 July 2024 Wrote 2000 words! Finished off the inciting incident. The antagonist (Kiki) has arrived. ## 5 July 2024 Had a brilliant morning in the Wellcome Trust reading reading reading. Most interesting rabbit holes were about bog bodies, and how people used to hide cat skeletons in the walls of old English houses to keep witches out. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/07/IMG_6505.jpg) Reading material ## 9 July 2024 Wrote 2000 words. Tried some of Kiki's point of view. ## 10 July 2024 Wrote 700 words, but also prepped for Cotswolds research trip. ## 13-14 July 2024 Very helpful research trip in the Cotswolds. Interviewed a police officer, a local hiker, and the staff of a record store. Lots of walking around and taking notes on sights, smells, people. Explored Stroud, Slad, Stow-on-the-wold, Painswick. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/07/IMG_6555.jpg) Evidence of CRIMES going on in the Cotswolds ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/07/image.png) Obsidian is looking like this ## 15-29 July 2024 *Had to push pause to work on another project - sadface!* ## 30 July 2024 Back to *Cuckoobird*! It took me a while to submerge myself back in the story, like a submarine having to fight through water pressure as it descends to the deeper ocean. Ended up re-reading the 16,000 words I have so far, and transcribing some of the voice notes I took on my Cotswolds research trip. Went to work at the Tate Modern Member's Cafe and ended up eavesdropping on the family at the adjacent table, who gave me an entire scene. Young children are so delightfully weird. Wrote 2,160 words of mess today, but I might be able to pan it later for gold flakes. ## 31 July 2024 Wrote 1300 words at the Keats Community Library. Felt like trying to make origami out of sludge. ## 1-5 August 2024 *Paused to work on a freelance gig, and lost an additional writing day to just not being able to focus. Did some inspiring reading, though (Charlotte Perkins Gilman's* The Yellow Wallpaper *and Lucy Jones'* Matrescence*).* ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/08/image-5-1.png) Some absolutely mind-shattering revelations from Lucy Jones' **Matrescence*. ## 6 August 2024 Overflowing with words today. Wrote 1,500 words amongst a packed schedule of unrelated meetings and appointments. Thought a lot about Olivia's relationship with her best friend and wrote most of an Act 2 scene. ## 7-12 August 2024 At Glasgow Worldcon, which was deeply inspiring but not a conducive writing environment. Thought a lot about how I want the book to be weirder:more *Bunny* (Mona Awad) than *Rebecca* (Daphne du Mourier). I did manage some good writing on the train up (about 2,000 words of pedestrian but necessary scenes). Zero writing on the train back to London, squished into an overfull carriage with broken air-conditioning. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/08/image-6.png) Writing on the train up to Glasgow ## 13 August 2024 Annoyed by how it always takes a while to get back into the novel after putting it down for even a couple of days. Managed 1,800 words, mostly reflections on marriage and how parenting a young child forces you to imagine terrors behind every corner. Browsed a Cotswolds tourist guide and some local magazines I picked up while I was in Stroud for some setting flavour. ## 14 August 2024 Went down another research rabbit hole about insect cognition. Read up about what private investigators actually do all day. Played with good poetic words and reactivated my PLAY energy by writing a scene as poetry. Didn't get many words out, around 1,000, but they're superb words! ## 15-16 August 2024 Two sludgy days, a scant 1,100 words between the two of them. Friday was a delight spent in the British Library with a friend, researching flies. Tried a different direction for a while before realising it's a dead end. Writing is a series of decisions. The "cide" in decide is the same suffix as "homo*cide*" and "matri*cide*", to murder, to destroy the alternative stories that can't be. ## 19 August 2024 *Did a lot of work, but none of it writing.* ## 20 August 2024 A good writing day, first time I hit my 2k word goal in ages. As Stephen King describes in *Misery*, when the writing's going well, it can feel like you fall through a hole in the laptop into the story. ## 21 August 2024 [This song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3v46SL8mLw&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which my mother used to sing to me as a child, was the inspiration for a scene. Slow today, but progressing. ## 22 August 2024 "Write drunk, edit sober," as the saying goes. I was not drunk today, but I was running on a notable lack of sleep, and was pretty pleased by the dreamlike prose it produced. The inner critic was dozing, leaving the sillier parts of my brain free to play. At the moment, I'm just writing whatever fragments of scenes come into my mind, vaguely working through the outline, but not worrying about anything linking up yet. Up until now, I've been writing in the first person, but over the past couple of days I've found myself switching into third, and it's unlocking something interesting. ## 23 August 2024 Just 500 words today, but I also spent some time playing with good cut-out words to reach for when the prose needs some enlivening. I am fond of a robust, Anglo-Saxon word. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/08/image-13.png) ## 27 August 2024 A good writing day after the last long weekend of the summer. Skipping from scene to scene, writing little fragments. Briefly considered buying a Black Soldier Fly Larval Farm for our garden so that I can more accurately describe the smells and taste of them, but talked myself out of it (my partner is pleased). ## 28 August 2024 Managed 1,400 words at the British Library before having lunch with some buddies at the Turing Institute, then losing the afternoon to a chaostornado of other work projects. At least my writing week's going better than Kafka's. > May your writing week be better than Kafka's. [pic.twitter.com/9hPoxWIQpQ](https://t.co/9hPoxWIQpQ?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) > > — Anna Mazzola (@Anna\_Mazz) [August 28, 2024](https://twitter.com/Anna%5FMazz/status/1828714403300053395?ref%5Fsrc=twsrc%5Etfw&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## 29 August 2024 *Did not even open my writing software today. Day subsumed by pointless admin.* ## *30* August 2024 My story's monster visited me in a vivid dream last night, so all I had to do today was write down the scene exactly as I dreamt it. Wish my bloody subconscious would do my writing work for me every day. ## September 2024 - October 2025 *In September, I got pulled into an unrelated project. This turned into a year's hiatus on Cuckoobird, somehow! Sometimes that's how life goes. I was very busy in the meantime! But did not touch this project.* --- ## 2 October 2025 My first day back with the project in a year. Spent the day re-reading everything I've written, all the notes and scraps and fragments, trying to re-immerse myself in the bog. Pleased to find it's funny, and I like it more than I'd feared. ## 3 October 2025 Read, thought, journaled about the book. ## 6 October 2025 I'm afraid to look at it. My brain keeps refusing the work. I went down an admin spiral of distraction and wrote maybe 50 words. ## 7 October 2025 Spent a lot of time on the train today, which helped me turn the key in the lock. Wrote on my journal, lots of thoughts about social class, about university, about who Olivia is and where she comes from. My brain is finally getting back into the story. The characters are talking to me again. The prose is not yet coming. ## 8 October 2025 Had a fun day at the British Library with my best boy digging through insect mating books. Didn't write a lot but gathered a lot of thoughts. Did some plotting, integrating the Gemma sub-plot. The project is alive in my thoughts again. I'm finding ideas coming to me as I'm walking around the city, and have to voice-note them into my watch before they're gone, like catching butterflies. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/03/8-October-1.jpg) Parental care in insects ## 9 October 2025 I feel such shame when I think about a whole lost year. What was I doing? Did I work *at all*? I sat down and listed everything I did accomplish over that time, and reminded myself that I actually have done a lot. The biggest chunk of lost time went to rewriting *Manage Your Money* and editing *Femme Feral*. I finished some other small projects. But I was also connecting with my joy again. Resting. I need to find a way to be okay with that. ## 10 October 2025 Met up with my friend Dashe to do a little writing in a cafe. Was so pleased that I managed to hit the week's word target after I'd assumed I wouldn't. Began the day feeling low about the fact that even after all of this I'm still not really back in the project. Ended the day feeling really proud of myself for that last push. It's amazing what you can accomplish in just a few focused hours, if you let yourself. ## 13 October 2025 Began the day with a leisurely slow sauna with my friend Sidd. Got into a really good scene inspired by a party I went to over the weekend with a lot of kids. Got to my day's 2k words quite easily. Keep reminding myself, *first, make it exist. Later, make it good.* Read a bit of a parenting book. Still feeling very unsure and like I don't know how to write four/five year olds. And scared that I'll offend some of my dearest friends, who are parents (Olivia *hates* children). ## 14 October 2025 A slow start, but it came eventually! Managed 2k by lunchtime. Wrote some aftermath of the party scene, then veered into a full horror moment. Starting to see the story physics of cause and effect come into play. Morning pages in my journal are so valuable in my process. I find I'm often beginning with a rough handwritten sketch of a scene there then the work of the morning is just to give it flesh. ## 15 October 2025 Worked at Queen Mary University Library. Love that I have a little growing library card collection. Libraries are magical spaces. A good 2k word day. Venturing into the end of act 2\. Finding that the plot outline is pulling in a different way to where the characters organically want to go. Yesterday I followed the characters, today I've tried stepping back onto the outline's path just to see how it feels. This is still feeling unresolved and like it needs more exploration. ## 16 October 2025 Wrote 1k words of a violent drowning scene at the British Library. Uncomfortable to write such ugliness in public. Uncomfortable to write such ugliness at all. ## 17 October 2025 A distracted day because of *Femme Feral* publicity. Managed 600 words. ## 20 October 2025 Worked at the Groucho Club with my [writing club](https://www.writeclublondon.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Tried a whole scene set 400 years ago. Figuring out the backstory of the village and the rules of the world. Wrote 3,800 words, but feeling a bit despondent and like this is pointless. This is unlikely to make it into the manuscript. Trying to remind myself I'm making compost. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/03/writeclub.jpg) Concentrating hard at Write Club, insect shirt for inspiration, photo by the lovely Matt Maude Read Catriona Ward's brilliant *Nowhere Burning* this weekend which has inspired some thoughts about horror setpieces, and about stories being motivated by love. ## 21 October 2025 Worked at my studio on a horror scene. Riffing off some ideas from *The Archeology of Ritual and Magic* and from visiting Sutton House. Gathering good momentum. I've been hitting my word count goal consistently for weeks now, although it still feels more like typing than writing. ## 22 October 2025 Worked at the Barbican. Some brilliant [visual inspiration about rivers](https://www.barbican.org.uk/whats-on/2025/event/lucy-raven-rounds?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) from Lucy Raven. Went back over research material from my trip last year and thought about the setting, specifically the River Severn, and how oxbows are formed. Wrote some more of act 3. ## 23 October 2025 Had a chat with a friend that unlocked something big. In describing the concept to her, I was reminded of what's *fun* about the idea. Then I went home and ... entirely figured out the world building?? Saw the whole plot just reveal itself in front of my eyes??? It was one of those days everything felt suddenly clear and solid in my hands. I feel so grateful to myself for not having given up; grateful I've kept pushing into the muck. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/10/Screenshot-2025-10-24-at-11.55.39.png) Obsidian update - the obsessive themes of the book becoming clear (insect reproduction, the debate of having children, British folklore, the English class system) ## 24 October 2025 Started the day gathering visual inspiration. Henry Fuseli. The [*Realms of Imagination*](https://shop.bl.uk/products/realms-of-imagination?srsltid=AfmBOoohNCKqHbV9Rb8G9yzE8qxZvIf-wQ892TEa5IigJfh2Wf1-5RLl&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)book. Thinking about fae folklore. Tam Lin. Goblin markets. Figured out the name of the village. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/11/changeling.jpeg) The Changeling - Henry Fuseli Very pleased to be ending the week on 60k words – ahead of where I'd hoped to be. Feel like I'm about done with the vomit draft. Ready to actually start writing the first real draft. It's all feeling so clear now. ## 4-6 November 2025 *Took a break for a week after finishing the vomit draft. Went to Fantasycon, wrote a journal article, got over the flu, and dived back into work today.* Didn't write any words for the actual manuscript this week, but did a lot of good prep work. Organised Obsidian. Made a lot of decisions, e.g. the names of people, places. Fleshed out a bunch of things that are in my head and put it down in the story bible. Drew a floorplan of the house. Wrote a detailed outline. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2025/11/image.png) Obsidian after a bit of organisation, 6 November 2025. ## 10 November 2025 Began draft 1 today in earnest! Wrote a first pass of chapter 1, a very saggy 3,354 words, at the British Library. Olivia's coming across as much too mean, but it's fine for now. I'll fix it later. Gemma (the best friend)'s name is now Mac. ## 11 November 2025 Edited chapter 1, getting it down to a more reasonable 2,800 words with much better flow and sliiiighly less sass. Still too much sass. Wrote chapter 2, 1,866 words, and outlined chapter 3\. Moving a bit too slowly for an opening, not enough is happening quickly enough, but I'm feeling good about Olivia's voice, and the world is feeling detailed and precise. I can see things clearly in my mind. There are way, way too many jokes 🙈. Most of them will have to go in the next pass! *Okay LOL to be totally honest I then entirely stopped keeping the writing journal* until *March 2026 – everything from here is reconstructed from memory, my writing software's (Ulysses's) daily word tracker, and my notebooks!* ## 13 November 2025 A scant 668 words! ## 14 November 2025 TRIED to work from the Natural History Museum cafe and instead spent the day looking at dinosaurs with my best boy. Zero words; many skeletons; no regrets. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/03/sloth.jpg) GIANT SLOTH at the Natural History Museum which has nothing to do with the novel ## 17 November 2025 A good sensible workday of 2,216 words. I'm still stuck in act 1 and feeling like it's moving way too slow, taking me too long to get into the story. I tried restarting it in third person past, with a much bigger psychic distance between narrator and protagonist, just moving through the events of the story much more quickly. It was helpful. ## 18 November 2025 *Day subsumed by teaching. Joyful, but the stress is building. I owe my publisher a solid draft by the end of January and suddenly that seems ... worryingly soon.* ## 19 November 2025 399 words. I resumed the distant third person perspective experience, but ultimately I decided I'm losing too much. Olivia's voice is so much of the joy of the book. Blarghhhhhh. My brain keeps wanting to think about alternative career paths instead of just writing. ## 20-21 November 2025 *Giving a paper at a conference on writing for young people so didn't write. Thought about how in order to have children, you must have faith in the future.* ## 22 November - 1 December 2025 *Went on holiday in France and Portugal. Body mass now 30% custard tarts.* ## 2-5 December 2025 A disaster week. I can't remember the last time so many terrible things happened to me at the same time. Can I blame the Supermoon? Literally my Mum's house was struck by lightning and they had a fire and this was, like, the *third* worst thing to happen this week?? I managed 700 words in total across the whole week, and frankly managing ANY was a huge fucking achievement. ## 8 December 2025 469 words. Distracted, scared and sad. ## 9 December 2025 2,447 words, written entirely from bed! I think this is self care? ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/06/9-dec.jpg) Dialogue as worldbuilding info dump, sigh. Reminding myself it just has to EXIST! It doesn't have to be GOOD yet! ## 10 December 2025 *Teaching all day in Bath. Thought I'd manage some writing on the train but nope. Still very distracted by the disasters.* ## 11 December - 25 December 2025 Had to fly home for a family emergency. Very impressed I managed to do any work at all. Managed 8,749 words over this period, in Cape Town, before landing back in London at midnight like Santa. I'm on 20k words and very stressed. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/03/23-dec.jpg) Writing plans SCUPPERED due to LAP GREMLIN. ## 26 December 2025 Who's working on Boxing Day? ME that's who, writing almost 4,000 words in full PANIC about the fact that my end-of-January deadline is looming and I've just lost almost three weeks of focussed time with all the various disasters. Ready to go deep into the work cave and do nothing but write. Finally, finally managed to push into act 2\. Getting into the fun and games, Olivia trying to do parenting despite knowing nothing about parenting. The plot is moving, at last, at last. ## 27 December 2025 2,269 words! Cooking. Found ways to interweave specific memories of playing with friends' kids into the plots. Kids are so delightfully freaking weird. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/03/dec2.jpg) Recently asked a 4-year-old what xmas ornaments we should make, and he instructed me to make "Christmas Snake" ## 29 December 2025 Time has no meaning. Partner sweetly pops to my desk and leaves me mince pies and tea every few hours. Happy to be back home and in the work cave. 1,958 words today. ## 30 December 2025 I've secretly always loved working this time of year. It's quiet, peaceful. I feel like I'm plunging deep into the recesses of my mind. 1,055 words today. ## 2 January 2026 2,124 words. Deep in the cave. ## 3 January 2026 2,171 words. Slow steady spelunking. ## 5 January 2026 2,028 words. Deep in the cave. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/03/image-2.png) A rough look at how I organise my story bible (Obsidian). This is the state of my "inbox" file where I dump random thoughts I haven't decided if I'm going to implement yet, little plotholes I've spotted etc. ## 6 January 2026 It was snowing and I went to work at the Opera House. Snuck in a lunchtime rehearsal performance of La Traviata, and wrote 973 words. I love London so bloody much. Been thinking a lot about finding the FUN and wildness in the novel. What engine drives the story. Reading *My Life In Sea Creatures* by Sabrina Imbler and in awe of how they interweave their descriptions of nature and their own memories. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/03/6-jan2.jpg) Opera House ## 7 January 2026 Solid writing day of 2,037 words. Still feeling stressed about the deadline but not feeling panicked. Ready to start getting into a calmer normal work week routine. ## 8 January 2026 *Went to the BLOOMSBURY OFFICES for an interview with the FREAKING OBSERVER about Femme Feral. Did not work on the project today, but felt bolstered by the fact that I have previously written books! It's just possible that I can write another one!* ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/03/8-jan.jpg) HYPED UP in the Bloomsbury offices ## 9 January 2026 Worked at British Library and smashed through 3,050 words. Then went to see the Secret Maps exhibition, where my brain was already starting to squirrel away inspiration for the next novel (because it's bored of thinking about this one). ## 12 January 2026 *Had a photo shoot with the Observer and felt like I was in fricking Vogue. Lots of stressing about what to wear; some reading; no writing today.* ## 13 January 2026 Only managed 1,000 words today. Fantasised about making my desk setup cosier. I'm in the muddle of the middle and bored with the story. Things coming slowly. Wrote an unwieldy family brunch scene. Reminded myself I just need to keep taking steps, a step every day. I have 2.5 weeks left. Doing some frantic maths and realising I must finish act 2 by Sunday, but that feels plausible! I need to write 3 more chapters in the next 3 days, and I have rough drafts for 2 of them. ## 14 January 2026 Got stuck. Stopped. Regrouped. Went analogue for a bit. Printed out all the snippets I wrote for act 2 in the zero draft and colour-coded, grouped, tried to wrangle them into shape. Added 4k words into the draft just by finding bits I'd written for the zero draft that actually work quite well with just a bit of connective tissue added. And feel more confident I understand how the middle progresses. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/03/14-jan.jpg) Trying to give shape to the mess of the middle ## 15 January 2026 Things actually falling into place. Spent more time with the printouts and playing with plot plans. Only wrote 1,400 fresh words today, but made substantial progress figuring out how it all fits together. ## 16 January 2026 Found another 5,375 words from the zero draft that fitted into the manuscript with some alterations. Today felt like hacking up old t-shirts into a quilt. Got the big midpoint scene working, ish. ## 18 January 2026 Working on a Sunday – I'm usually quite good about respecting a Monday-Friday work routine but these are desperate times! My life right now is quite monklike. I'm working, running, having meals with my wonderfully supportive best boy, thinking, that's it. Honestly I'm enjoying it a lot. For me, having a balanced life doesn't mean that every day is balanced, but rather going through phases of intense focus on different parts of my life. This writing-focussed time feels like an incredible luxury. 1,003 words today and some more planning and research about contemporary parenting debates. Almost at the end of act 2 but not quite. ## 19 January 2026 3,800 words. Still trying to get to the end of act 2\. Deeply locked in. Writing. Knitting. Running. Eating. Sleeping. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/03/19-jan.jpg) Took a lovely long hike on Saturday in gorgeous winter skies with two of my oldest friends ## 20 January 2026 OKAY YES I finally got to the end of act 2 with another 3,412 words. Writing about the masochism we require of motherhood. ## 21 January 2026 Hitting act 3 hard with 5,109 words today, many rescued from the zero draft. Good momentum now. ## 22 January 2026 3,119 words. The one major thing I'm still really unresolved about is her husband. His motivations change scene to scene. Thought about the husbands in *The Yellow Wallpaper* and *Rosemary's Baby* and wondered about making Stuart a much more frightening character. My notebooks are full of frantic pages exploring different directions the story could still go. Deep into the horror sequences now. Feeling quite primal, feral, the strangest version of myself (I like her). ## 23 January 2026 2,875 words. Feeling so grateful to my best boy and to friends who keep showing up, making me take a shower, dragging me out the house to do something for a couple of hours. I have promised to try to have a weekend. Even more remarkably, I'm almost at my (minimum) total word count. I could hand in the book tomorrow and it would be enough! Sure, it wouldn't have a third act, but it would have the minimum required number of words to be called a novel! Feel extremely bolstered by this fact. ## 26 January 2026 3,200 words today. It was so cold I worked with my hat and gloves on inside the house. Wrote all day and read Katherine Briggs' book about the folklore of the Cotswolds at night. Coming into my last week. Wrote a breakdown of how I can finish by Saturday, which will require writing about 2 (short) chapters a day. YIKE. But it feels fine. I trust the momentum I've built up by now. ## 27 January 2026 4,700 frantic words written largely in my notebook, which is also a cryptic mess of scene maps trying to work out how the hell I can end the story. ## 28 Jan Got too hyped up yesterday writing and struggled to sleep. 1,437 fresh words today plus typed up some of yesterday's. Then decided I needed to get out the damn house and went to the V&A East with my best boy. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/03/28-jan.jpg) Masks at the V&A East. ## 29 January 2026 I am a machine that turns coffee into words. Read some hilarious essays about the latest parenting fad, FAFO parenting (fuck around, find out). 4,579 words and the end is in sight. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/03/image-1.png) The state of Obsidian in January 2026 ## 30 January 2026 Finished it in a final frenzy of 7,722 words (a lot of them rescued from the zero draft, but at least 3k-ish of them new). I hate it. But it's done. ## 31 January 2026 Wrote a brief coda, a last 1,020 words. Exported it to MS Word, emailed it to my editors, and promptly turned into a puddle. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/03/image.png) A thrilling email to finally send my editors ## February - June 2026 *Working on other projects while I wait for notes from my editors. Wrote a film screenplay and some essays and finished* Manage Your Money *edits and did a ton of* Femme Feral *publicity.* *Been debating titles. The working title was Cuckoobird, but it's obvious and overdone. I started calling it Sweetrot for a while, but now I'm circling something with the word "MAMA" in it. "Mama Bare"? "OH MAMA"? "Mamalien"?* ## 8 June 2026 Delighted to be back in the saddle! I had a stress dream last night that I reread the first draft and it was so terrible (basically a *Femme Feral* rehash) and I realised I'd have to throw it all away. This is the fear, honestly! Today I sat down with a printed copy and read the first half of it, trying to just read it like a reader, noting what doesn't make sense, where it's boring, where it's fun. Tried not to actually edit sentences (what's the point; many of these scenes will be cut completely) but can't help myself. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/06/D363F19F-A93D-4A4B-BE93-7496DF47BF6B_1_105_c.jpeg) Cliches. Repetitions. Mixed metaphors. Boring segments. But also the odd sentence that just makes me smile. It's not as awful as I feared! But there are some massive structural issues. The plot's far too slow in kicking off. I'm still trying to figure out who the protagonist is over the first fifty pages. And there's just not enough happening; or rather, stuff's happening but the events aren't triggering other events like the dominoes I want the plot to be. The first task is going to be some rigorous plotting. And the prose is missing some essential rhythm or voice or framing device or something – I'm inclined to try to make it much more breathless and surreal like *Angel Down*, or to mix in more of Olivia's fragmentary direct addled-by-watching-too-many-Instagram-shorts thoughts a la *No One is Talking About This*, or even including some of her Powerpoint lecture slides like *Visit from the Goon Squad*. It needs a device to hang the voice off, the equivalent of Ellie's list in *Femme Feral*. I'm keen to play and get a bit more experimental. The prose is already very poetic in places – I think I could push it further. Haven't gotten notes back from my editors yet, which is a lingering worry. I was expecting them last week. We need the book finished by the end of this year, and it feels like there is a LOT still to be done, at least 2 drafts but more likely 3. Overall, I feel encouraged by the day! Very happy to be returning to the wild home of my imagination. ## 9 June 2026 Finished the readthrough! Hugely relieved to find that I like a lot of it a lot more than I thought. There are many passages of quite lovely dreamlike prose towards the end. The story's not hanging together well yet, though. You can tell that I was figuring out the worldbuilding as I was going along, and that I only really found the *point* of the story in the final act. There are a lot of plot points that try to resolve in the final act that were never really set up to begin with. BUT! I have some good pieces to play with. Tomorrow I'm planning to dive into replotting. I'm remarkably tired considering all I had to do today was read. ## 10 June 2026 Spent the morning with pen and paper thinking through some high-level story questions: 1. Wrote a list of the scenes in the first draft that are currently feeling the most "alive"; the ones that feel closest to the book I'm trying to write. These are the ones that hold the magic I want to weave from, and I must protect them. 2. Mapped out two different versions of the antagonist (the Gentleman) and what he could represent. In the first draft, I'm a little mixed up about whether he's a force of agri-culture/patriarchal capitalist logic/extractivism/lordly land ownership/husbandry OR if he's wild nature/the pre-modern/fae/a god of bog and rot. He can't be both. I haven't yet decided which one he is. 3. Clarified the **stakes**. What will actually happen if Olivia *loses*? This depends on which route I go with the Gentleman. 4. Noodled about Olivia's **character**. What are her problems? What does she want? Why does she want it? What does she actually need? I mapped out how her wants change over the course of the novel. This was probably the single most helpful exercise I did today. Then in the afternoon I cracked open *Save the Cat Writes a Novel* (Jessica Brody & Blake Snyder). I find structural frameworks like STC are useful **editing tools** rather than drafting tools, so this first big edit is exactly where I usually find myself turning to them. I can't write a first draft this way – it feels too dead/formulaic if I try to create a detailed outline from the beginning, but I find them very helpful for drafts 2+. The first challenge was to figure out which STC "genre" this book is ("genres", in STC, refers to a set of standard plot-types rather than traditional publishing genres like romance, horror etc.). I'd assumed this was a straightforward Monster In the House plot, but ACTUALLY I realised it could work quite well as three totally different stories: 1. Monster in the House (leaning into the haunted-house horror parts of the story, amping up the Gentleman as a scary evil force ... this is the plot I'm currently closest to, but actually few of the most "alive-feeling" scenes are these) 2. Buddy Love (essentially a romance between a childfree woman and one very weird child, this is the more literary version that really lets me get into the poetry of time spent playing with a small child, how loving a child can wake you up to a new way of loving yourself and loving the world ... the most "alive-feeling" scenes right now are these ones, BUT this is least like the story the premise promises / my publisher's expecting) 3. Institutionalised (leaning into the comedy of Olivia entering the institution of upper-middle-class motherhood in the Cotswolds, except hers is a strange changeling child that only eats dirt ... this could be funny but this is the version of the novel I currently have written the least material for – the stuff I HAVE written along these lines is pretty good, though) I'm going to chat through this question tonight in the sauna with my friend Mercedes. I also made a spreadsheet (YES SHUDDUP) mapping out all the scenes in the first draft and checking them against the STC outline. This was pretty quick to do thanks to Ulysses (which clearly displays the word count of each segment and lets me summarise each scene at the top, which luckily I did for draft 1). This exercise made it very clear what I already felt doing the reread: the inciting incident ("catalyst" in STC-speak) comes about 8,000 words too late; act 2 drags far too long; act 3 is underwritten. The "midpoint" is currently at 70% of the way through the book instead of 50%! The story takes way too long to kick off, then hurtles down the hill. I already knew this, but this spreadsheet will later form the foundation of my second draft outline, so it was worth doing (or maybe just a way of feeling productive after the point my brain was too tired to do any more thinking). ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/06/image.png) It felt like a very productive day even though not a word of prose was written. A lot of writing doesn't actually look like writing. ## 11 June 2026 A slower day today with a sore back impeding my ability to think. Spent more time with pen and paper noodling through some plot questions but didn't get very far. DID decide this is definitely not an Institutionalised story; I want to try to plot it as Monster in the House, introducing the Gentleman far earlier in the plot and making him a much bigger part of the first half of the book, and see how that feels. If I can't get a version of that working that doesn't feel cheesy, I'm going to just go with what my unconscious seems to have been writing most naturally and make this a full Buddy Love story, stripping the Gentleman out almost completely. ## 12 June 2026 *Day subsumed by admin.* ## 15 June 2026 A brainsludge day. Barely did anything useful. Made a choice about who the Gentleman is. Read Sheila Heti's wonderful book *Motherhood*. Tried and failed to construct a plot outline but there are too many choices. Gave up and had a beautiful meander through Bloomsbury to visit my publisher, swung past the London Review of Books shop to pick up a copy of the LRB paper and flicked through it sprawling in the sunshine. ## 16 June 2026 Worked on the plot outline. Still slow progress, but my brain is fully occupied with the story again, seeing ideas for it everywhere. The work I'm doing right now doesn't look much like writing, is the thing! It's staring into space as my brain thinks through "okay but what if..."s. I'm reconsidering everything. Is this even horror? If it's horror, what if I push the horror sequences to a much gorier/uglier place? What if there's no antagonist at all? What if her husband is the antagonist? What if her husband is the person she has to save? What if there's a whole story-in-a-story in the middle of the book set 300 years in the past? What if the supernatural extends only to her individual house? What if it extends to the entire village? What's actually at stake in any of this? Made very few decisions today but generated some pretty bananas ideas. ## 17 June 2026 Didn't manage much today apart from reading and some journalling. ## 18 June 2026 Slow, frustrating start still trying to work through the outline. Was getting really annoyed and brainsludgy doing this with post-its, but it started clicking when I opened my trusty, favourite writing tool: Google Sheets (lol). Just working through each sub-plot following the chain of event causation for each one. Will figure out how to interweave them tomorrow. Then went for a swim in the ladies pond where everything is GOOD and MAGICAL. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/06/IMG_2779-1.jpeg) ## 19 June 2026 Productive day! I'm still outlining, and I fear I may be outlining forever, but I did finally start making some big decisions. Farewell, bogfish! You were my favourite really weird but ultimately unnecessary character! Realised that one of the problems with the current draft is that I'm trying to do a *Girls of Little Hope* thing again where for the first half of the book it seems like it's a MYSTERY, and we get a bunch of police investigation stuff, but the answer turns out to be SUPERNATURAL so actually all the investigation stuff is pointless. Realised I can just make the whole book stranger and explain way, way less, then I don't really need the investigation threads at all. The whole plot can be leaner. And it will be more claustrophobic if I explain less. Also read some relevant bits of *The Book of English Magic*. ## 22 June 2026 Wrote out the rules of the world and continued working through a detailed beat sheet. Read a bit of *Queer as Folklore.* Not very thinking. Brain not braining very brainily. My friend Meg sent me some inspiring energy for the day from the incomparable Shirley Jackson though: ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/06/image-2.png) ## 23 June 2026 More slow and steady outlining progress. The first two acts (out of five) are feeling good, and I've nailed them down in quite a lot of detail. I was getting stuck in act three, then zoomed out back to a one-page outline, figuring out the main thrust of each act. It's now feeling clearer how the stakes escalate, and I have a better idea of where all the scene ideas go. The ending's still murky. ## 24 June 2026 *Took the day off for MAH BIRTHDAY!* ## 25 June 2026 Made good progress on the high-level outline, and read *Queer as Folklore*. ## 26 June 2026 Finally finished the damn high level outline UGH this is taking so LONG. Still not sure about the ending. ## 29 June 2026 Went for a walk and came up with AN ending that doesn't feel COMPLETELY cheesy. It's still not quite there but better. Turned the high-level outline into a detailed beat sheet in Google Sheets. Got about halfway through this. Still finding it useful to check against *Save the Cat* guidelines to see if the pacing is roughly where I want it to be. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/06/image-3.png) ## 30 June 2026 Some more good progress working through the beat sheet. Made it through to the midpoint. Trying to give each scene an arc, ground each scene in a particular time and place, in action. Christ this is taking a long time, but it feels like good work. Thought up a few new horror sequences inspired by watching the superb horror play [Under the Shadow](https://almeida.co.uk/whats-on/under-the-shadow/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) at the Almeida last night. ## 1 July 2026 Finally finished the BEAT SHEET thank GOD fuck that took a long time. Came up with some quite fun scenes in the process, so I think??? it will have been worth it??? Sent it off to my editors and now I wait. ## 2 - 8 July 2026 *Waiting for notes from my editors, working on another project (final copy edits on the Manage Your Money update plus writing some online resources to support the launch).* ## 9 July 2026 Had the loveliest editorial meeting with my two editors! Hilariously they think I need to change the plot far less than I thought I did, so I'm going to need to unpick some of my planned changes on the beat sheet. I have a soft deadline for the end of October, and I'm BURSTING WITH BRILLIANT IDEAS after our chat. They made some suggestions that I think could absolutely enliven the plot and make it even much weirder. The marvellous Sam Bradbury suggested a new title idea I really like: *You'll Feel Different When It's Yours*. ## 12 July 2026 Went on a fabulous research trip to the Weald & Downland Living Museum in Sussex to gather details for the section set in the 15th century (which I still may or may not cut). Fantastically useful, especially chatting to the wildly knowledgeable staff. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/07/IMG_3041-1.jpeg) A 15th century hearth, in a time before chimneys! ## 13 July 2026 Spent the morning outlining a new version of the 15th century sub-story rich with new details gleaned from the museum trip. Then got a bit lost down a research rabbit hole answering very specific questions like the [layout of villages](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/pet-worms/) and how late Medieval women prevented themselves from falling pregnant (rue and pennyroyal, apparently). Along the way stumbled on great surprise details like the witch marks (the VV and the [hexafoil](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hexafoil?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)), [birth girdles](https://royalsocietypublishing.org/rsos/article/8/3/202055/96246/Girding-the-loins-Direct-evidence-of-the-use-of-a?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and [wax votives](https://theantiquary.online/wax-votive-offerings/?srsltid=AfmBOopBxWDW52HQTzPr19rQ54cUhUNe%5F-58Tr6chHQSheQkVEDbfr%5FY&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). But if I am very honest with myself, I think this was all just procrastinating. Had a no-good brain afternoon so I rewatched *Rosemary's Baby*, which remains an absolute masterpiece (although fuck you, Roman Polanski). Thought about how the "false victory" moment at the end where she manages to tell the safe ob-gyn what's going on ... only for him to betray her by calling her husband, is just an absolute masterpiece move that I might steal for my third act. ## 14-15 July 2026 Two more very horrible no-good brain days because of a flare up of back pain. Did a lot of good reading, *Such Small Hands* by Andrés Barba, *Eve* by Cat Bohannon, *Mothers* by Jacqueline Rose. Noodled with the beat sheet based on the editor's new ideas and realised there's not much to change until act 3, so I just need to dive in and write, really. ## 16 July 2026 Stopped fucking around and actually opened up Ulysses and started writing a new version of the opening scene. Wrote about 1,300 very bad words today, but I am very proud of myself anyway because I have now actually, finally, begun the second draft. Worked out a timeline for how I can finish the draft by the end of the summer. Need to get through around 10k words per week starting on the 27th. Tight but doable. ## *20-24 July 2026* *Manage Your Money content week – creating supporting material for the update dropping in September.* ## 27 July 2026 Felt good about today despite only writing 600 words! Found a new opening which is feeling zippy and fun. It's still got a bit of the same problem the old opening scene had: it's a different *tone* to the rest of the book. But I'm going to forge ahead and return to this later, remembering the advice I always give my students: the opening scene is usually be the *last* scene you get right. Found a James Baldwin quote I love: “The children are always ours, every single one of them, all over the globe; and I am beginning to suspect that whoever is incapable of recognizing this may be incapable of morality.” Gave up early because I'm getting ill. ## 29 July 2026 Lost yesterday to being sick, boo, and I'm still not 100% right today but I did manage 1,700 more words of the first chapter which I like a lot. It's still too funny but I'm just going to keep going. I think I often do this, fiddling with an opening scene for way too long. Read *Time-Traveller's Guide to the Middle Ages*, which had some great inspo. ## 3 August 2026 Oof, feel wretched and miserable about how slow I've been getting through the first few scenes! Kept tinkering with the opening this morning, FINALLY finished a draft, sort of, although it's flabby and too long and the wrong tone, and then forced myself to begin chapter 2, which I only managed to plough 600 words worth of notes into. Started reading *Of Woman Born.* ## 4 August 2026 Went to the British Library with the best of intentions, and got exactly no writing done at all. ## 5 August 2026 The good: I wrote 2,247 words today! The bad: they are the wrong words! 😅 I woke up this morning with a wildly different version of the opening in my mind, which would force me to rewrite the whole novel in the past tense, but I just had to write it and I kind of like it a lot. The tone is much better matched to the rest of the novel. I think it was influenced by the fact that I read *Practical Magic* before bed last night. ANYWAY. I know that what I have to do is forge ahead and write the NEXT chapter, not endlessly rework the opening. But I nonetheless feel good about what I wrote today. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/08/IMG_3178.jpeg) View from my desk today ## 6 August 2026 Managed to steer out of the chapter 1 wheelspinning and actually write/edit (wredit?) 2k words of chapter 2! We are proud! ## 31 August 2026 UGH, I once again managed basically zero writing in France. But today I had a productive day! Made a decision about chapter 1\. Did a version of chapter 2 which still has some issues, but at least the bones are in place. Have come to terms with the fact that I will not be making my deadline! Wrestling with shame and self-loathing! ## 2 September 2026 Sometimes, the most productive thing you can do with your day is to ***remove*** words. I restructured and hacked the first three chapters down to 6,800 words, and they're much better for it. ### London for NERDS URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/london-for-nerds/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T12:27:44.000Z Welcome to London, fellow dorks, geeks, nerds, bookworms, otakus and people who have a favourite My Little Pony! I'm sure you're already excited about London's major museums, very old buildings, pigeons, and other tourist highlights, but here are three lesser-known London itineraries specifically for geekier types (of all ages). I'd suggest you allocate a full day for each adventure, so you've got plenty of time to accept side-quests you might find along the way. Depending on your budget and energy-levels, you might want to visit all of these places or just pick the ones that catch your eye. [See all these places on Google Maps.](https://www.google.com/maps/d/u/0/edit?mid=1OluBp3gVbxxk2lEEOBDxCzuzZlKk6A4&usp=sharing&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## **Adventure 1: Soho and Chinatown** *Nerd-vana for all ages.* If you're visiting London, do try to see at least one [West End theatre show](https://www.timeout.com/london/theatre/london-musicals?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Try [LoveTheatre](https://www.lovetheatre.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or [TodayTix](https://www.todaytix.com/london/category/all-shows?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for discounted tickets, or [check out this guide](https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/team-blog/2019/03/grab-theatre-tickets-from-p3-via-a-secret-seat-filling-site/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) if you're really on a budget. Most of the theatres are around Soho, so this adventure is a perfect way to spend the afternoon before your show. - Start at the [Forbidden Planet Megastore](https://maps.app.goo.gl/fXJu4inZJv5iU38V7?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): a mega nerd shop on Shaftesbury Avenue. Great for collectables, merch and comics. - Nearby, check out [Orcs Nest game shop](https://maps.app.goo.gl/sdwcpYtq1As4HWtn9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for board games, [Foyles](https://maps.app.goo.gl/wHcRJRiRG1BBxuwX9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for books, [The Noble Collection](https://noblecollection.co.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for high-end merch, and [Animetal](https://maps.app.goo.gl/JfLUWKotN7nao3Ph7?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for Anime collectibles, and [SideQuest](https://maps.app.goo.gl/h45gRfY6SNHSi7df6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for e-sports. If you're feeling flush, do one of the [Wands & Wizard Exploratorium](https://maps.app.goo.gl/4ouEa3BSZLzguYjs9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) experiences: potion-making, wizard's high tea or the wandmaker's workshop. - Make your way to [Soho proper](https://maps.app.goo.gl/9rp9XnAsus9AJU4T6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which is most vibey around Greek Street and Dean Street. This is a great spot to stop for a drink and watch the people at any of the excellent pubs and bars. If you're feeling adventurous, there are plentiful hidden speakeasies in Soho, and half the fun is finding them. The Vault is hidden behind a bookcase, The Blind Pig is above a restaurant ... explore, ask around, or resort to Google. Do stop by [Gosh!](https://maps.app.goo.gl/qHfftZqzkdQU3VhR6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), one of my fave comic book shops in the city. - When it's getting close to dinner time, walk down to [Chinatown](https://maps.app.goo.gl/gSyA9Ut2dsNBRMYq9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Leave yourself some time to wander around and browse the shops, where you'll find everything from K-beauty goops to waving lucky-cat sculptures. If you like rare antiquarian tomes, try [Any Amount of Books](https://maps.app.goo.gl/j83qsFJrE7sQnAXt9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and if you like tiny bricks, try [the LEGO store](https://maps.app.goo.gl/M1RzCswT8iLsaac86?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Find somewhere for dinner: the food around here is generally excellent, but my faves are [Plum Valley](https://maps.app.goo.gl/c6mCKf7SDZ62G4wdA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Speedboat Bar](https://maps.app.goo.gl/6k32FiwnDCPrPonx8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (both have good vegan options). - Watch your show! - For a post-show drink, head to [Waxy's Little Sister](https://maps.app.goo.gl/NSqzjssbToH2kdcx8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to try the fancy drinks elevator, or go back to Soho. **OPTIONAL SIDEQUEST - HOLBORN** If you've got LOTS of energy, you could add on a few quirky spots around Holborn at the *start* of this day, i.e. before you go to Forbidden Planet. It's a quick 15-minute walk or bus ride away. - [Hunterian Museum](https://maps.app.goo.gl/RMFEeVHGgDuPi5xD7?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for gory-but-fascinating surgical history and specimens in jars. - [Novelty Automation](https://maps.app.goo.gl/J1EQ6U79EBAFF2kL9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)for hilarious and bizarre hand-made arcade games. I cannot overstate how charming this place is. - [Sir John Soane's Museum](https://maps.app.goo.gl/oeroV5mEksU5Rs858?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for classical sculptures and historical oddities. If you're feeling ambitious, you could begin the day at the British Museum and look at all the excellent things the English stole from other countries, but you'd have to get a pretty early start - it's big. ## **Adventure 2: Camden** *Great for otakus, goths and gamers.* On the weekends, I find Camden overwhelming and far too crowded, but if you've got a weekday to spare, you've got to check out [Camden Market](https://maps.app.goo.gl/jFb7eQCd2Y9jpbYf9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) at least once in your life. Aim to spend about half a day here. Nerd highlights include plentiful Manga/goth/Anime/vintage/corset/comic shops, watching the ageing punks, [Mega-City Comics](https://maps.app.goo.gl/S4ikuBUXTWerFi1C8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for obscure back-issues, and [Cyberdog](https://maps.app.goo.gl/J8EFrMqJ69g9Xfji8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for dressing like you're from the future. Full goths, check out [Sai Sai](https://maps.app.goo.gl/1mPAeWLyf64XU3xN8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (not for kids). If you're after a pair of stompy boots, skip the Doc Martens shop and rather head to [The British Boot Company](https://maps.app.goo.gl/KMHgbaqyC8kPL5o86?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Avoid the food at Camden Market itself, rather walk just 2-minutes to the far less busy [Camden Lock Market](https://maps.app.goo.gl/ZD45aMsVUsJrFNdW7?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). When you are fully outpeopled, call it a day, or wander down the canal to [Regent's Park](https://maps.app.goo.gl/TnJK1KFFLLpLHcng6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), where you can sometimes spot the monkeys in the London Zoo. Alternatively, Camden's quite close to King's Cross, where you can see [Platform 9 2/3](https://maps.app.goo.gl/DS78dCE6xchN9xBQA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or go to the actually magical [British Library](https://maps.app.goo.gl/6ZqLguj47hd5aq3g8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ## **Adventure 3: East London** *Best for adults or older teens.* East London is more famous for hipsters than for nerds, but it's actually crammed full of dorky silliness if you know where to look. This is a fun one to do on a weekend if you can handle crowds, but still great on a weekday. I've got three variations of this depending on **where you want to end up**. Note: Shoreditch itself can be pretty tiring, so if you're looking for a lower-energy afternoon, just begin route 1 or 2 in Hoxton. #### Option 1: You want a quietish evening playing board games and crazy golf - Start in [Shoreditch](https://maps.app.goo.gl/ARVm8RFx94r2QHFF9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and head directly to [Brick Lane](https://maps.app.goo.gl/zdJ8jdE2V6uZzYEw5?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for cool graffiti and East London vibes. Grab a breakfast/brunch/lunch snack at one of the many markets. Around here, you might want to check out the [Brick Lane Vintage Market](https://maps.app.goo.gl/nCvewxtzhcrPU2aH9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) basement for odd old clothes, [Rough Trade East](https://maps.app.goo.gl/sCvEdAfUzuvddzsSA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for interesting new music inspiration, [Freedom Press](https://maps.app.goo.gl/3n3YduQZSBUwUiMb6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for anarchist literature, [Libreria Bookshop](https://maps.app.goo.gl/9VJdcvWPFvnH5VDv6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) which is tiny but adorable, [Urbiana](https://maps.app.goo.gl/tXHCfAMRfUqKjZTd8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for affordable unusual jewellery, or trendy [Spitalfields market](https://maps.app.goo.gl/jeYSiSnPAzxkaZJCA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). You could spend the whole day here, but rather pick just a couple of spots and then head on to the nerdier delights ahead of you. The one thing you should NOT miss is [Dennis Severs' House](https://maps.app.goo.gl/kjaxUH5V6gnpwzHJA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (Thursday - Sundays only, best to buy tickets before you go), it's hard to describe, but it's basically an old house that tells a story through time. - When you're over the crowds and ready for some bigtime geekery, make your way up to Hoxton (a 15-30-minute walk or a quick bus/train away). Swing past the adorable [Hoxton Street Monster Supplies](https://maps.app.goo.gl/4e6acrXfU4c3xvES8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) where you can buy mermaid eggs and vials of human snot, then head to [The Arcanist's Tavern](https://maps.app.goo.gl/VDYxasxmxBr8QHyn8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a tabletop gaming cafe with fantasy decor and tables for D&D and Warhammer. There's a themed cafe there if you just want to stop and refuel, or ensconce yourself for a few hours with a fantasy adventure. If you had a big morning in Shoreditch, or you're with young'uns, this is a perfectly good spot to end your day. - If you've still got some energy to spare though, walk (20-min) or bus (10-min) over to the [Viktor Wynd Museum of Curiosities](https://maps.app.goo.gl/RExE48JTEdgwYmrP8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for bizarro taxidermy. Afterwards, cross the road and [walk down the steps](https://maps.app.goo.gl/YVpmh5Xybt3hHHPK6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to get onto the towpath that runs along the canal, then head west until you hit the [Cat & Mutton bridge](https://maps.app.goo.gl/nELL1bXHwcvkawnL6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (5-min). Climb up the stairs there to Broadway, where you'll find many superb dinner spots (my faves are [Koya Ko](https://maps.app.goo.gl/qLPQeqPHXCGM123y5?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Aya & Suki](https://maps.app.goo.gl/3Z17SDCksPgtWzd98?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)). After dinner, amble through the green [London Fields](https://maps.app.goo.gl/Kzo5yjuMk2Fznr4XA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to your final destination [Plonk](https://maps.app.goo.gl/Lvnw6W8ryE7iKzRZ9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), for silly and cheerful late-night adventure golf and board games. Note that no under-18s are allowed after 5pm on weekdays, or at all on weekends. #### Option 2: ****You want an evening playing board games in a buzzy area with the option to go catch some experimental live music, theatre or comedy afterwards** This route sees you spending the evening in [Dalston](https://maps.app.goo.gl/CW9aP7q884RvLjzJ9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a rough-around-the-edges but fascinating hub of experimental music, theatre, comedy and arts. Plan your day by figuring out your evening plans and working backwards. I'd check what's on at [EartH](https://earthackney.co.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Dalston Jazz Bar](https://maps.app.goo.gl/1W3kQgS2WFSw6ETW9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), the [Arcola Theatre](https://maps.app.goo.gl/PpfihcNh61TFS2kEA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Cafe OTO](https://maps.app.goo.gl/X1NVgAJDZZgvyF6XA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [The Jago](https://maps.app.goo.gl/i8WkKgogP443Xb4e7?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Ridley Road Market Bar](https://maps.app.goo.gl/FSgTzRs7NyzeNW2U6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [The Shacklewell Arms](https://maps.app.goo.gl/1BNScPzcaGEPE9RB6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and [Rio Cinema](https://www.riocinema.org.uk/home/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). If you're after LGBTQ+ fun, try [Dalston Superstore](https://maps.app.goo.gl/cCkPzT3XsPKtmXoQ6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [The Divine](https://maps.app.goo.gl/CXL2PYdFB3xsnRqH9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). If nothing catches your fancy, try neighbouring Hackney Central ([MOTH](https://maps.app.goo.gl/usHVuX1rknc42s6V7?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Paper Dress](https://maps.app.goo.gl/oCKmWFyCsFrc7hVA6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Hackney Empire](https://maps.app.goo.gl/UktJ63HsvcaqTM186?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Two Palms](https://maps.app.goo.gl/AJ5qifp3UkBiZwHr7?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Oslo](https://maps.app.goo.gl/z8GUKRVVeaRaceQi9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)). - Start in [Shoreditch](https://maps.app.goo.gl/ARVm8RFx94r2QHFF9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and head directly to [Brick Lane](https://maps.app.goo.gl/zdJ8jdE2V6uZzYEw5?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for cool graffiti and East London vibes. Grab a breakfast/brunch/lunch snack at one of the many markets. Around here, you might want to check out the [Brick Lane Vintage Market](https://maps.app.goo.gl/nCvewxtzhcrPU2aH9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) basement for odd old clothes, [Rough Trade East](https://maps.app.goo.gl/sCvEdAfUzuvddzsSA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for interesting new music inspiration, [Freedom Press](https://maps.app.goo.gl/3n3YduQZSBUwUiMb6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for anarchist literature, [Libreria Bookshop](https://maps.app.goo.gl/9VJdcvWPFvnH5VDv6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) which is tiny but adorable, [Urbiana](https://maps.app.goo.gl/tXHCfAMRfUqKjZTd8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for affordable unusual jewellery, or trendy [Spitalfields market](https://maps.app.goo.gl/jeYSiSnPAzxkaZJCA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). You could spend the whole day here, but rather pick just a couple of spots and then head on to the nerdier delights ahead of you. The one thing you should NOT miss is [Dennis Severs' House](https://maps.app.goo.gl/kjaxUH5V6gnpwzHJA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (Thursday - Sundays only, best to buy tickets before you go), it's hard to describe, but it's basically an old house that tells a story through time. - When you're over the crowds and ready for some bigtime geekery, you've got two choices. **If you're more of a tabletop gaming nerd* (D&D and Warhammer), make your way up to Hoxton (a 15-30-minute walk or a quick bus/train away). Swing past the adorable [Hoxton Street Monster Supplies](https://maps.app.goo.gl/4e6acrXfU4c3xvES8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) where you can buy mermaid eggs and vials of human snot, before ensconcing yourself at [The Arcanist's Tavern](https://maps.app.goo.gl/VDYxasxmxBr8QHyn8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a tabletop gaming cafe with fantasy decor and tables for all your favourite games. **Or, if you're more into board games*, take the bus or Overground to [Dalston Kingsland](https://maps.app.goo.gl/4DFr22ryhK9kLaSN8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and head to [Draughts](https://maps.app.goo.gl/xqn9aPLvP4R9QkvCA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a gorgeous Art Deco board game club with an extensive games library, until it's time to go to your show. - End the evening doing your fun thing! Psst... both The Arcanist and Draughts serve food, but other good dinner options in Dalston are [Acme Fire Cult](https://maps.app.goo.gl/tkqcvkKaTQfsWBav5?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Voodoo Ray's](https://maps.app.goo.gl/3GWzcYT4fmkaB2xw5?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Mangal II](https://maps.app.goo.gl/D1V9BaHcjvsXV2CV6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). #### Option 3: ****You want to brave London's nightlife and go clubbing, because geeks can contain multitudes**? If you're up for a proper Night Out at the Club, do this route backwards to **end* in Shoreditch. - Start your day grabbing lunch on [Broadway](https://maps.app.goo.gl/cee1cQG7jmmeyosLA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) in London Fields (if it's a weekend, there'll be a market, but there are plenty of cute brunch spots there any day of the week (my faves are [Koya Ko](https://maps.app.goo.gl/qLPQeqPHXCGM123y5?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Aya & Suki](https://maps.app.goo.gl/3Z17SDCksPgtWzd98?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)). If you've got lots of energy, swing past the [Viktor Wynd Museum of Curiosities](https://maps.app.goo.gl/RExE48JTEdgwYmrP8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for bizarro taxidermy. - Take the bus, or walk down past [Hackney City Farm](https://maps.app.goo.gl/gsXic8wa2vsGSS2e9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to Hoxton (20-mins). If it's a Sunday, you could add a side-quest to the [Columbia Road Flower Market](https://maps.app.goo.gl/wqqiE4g2RWwwmLtS6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), the [Vagina Museum](https://maps.app.goo.gl/tQxmZyA6GE3LaN5g7?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), or head straight to [The Arcanist's Tavern](https://maps.app.goo.gl/VDYxasxmxBr8QHyn8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a tabletop gaming cafe with fantasy decor and tables for D&D and Warhammer. There's a themed cafe there if you just want to stop and refuel, or ensconce yourself for a few hours with a fantasy adventure. - Continue on to the top of [Brick Lane](https://maps.app.goo.gl/XVmS8EsuMn61tbaWA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) in Shoreditch for cool graffiti and East London vibes. Around here, you might want to check out the [Brick Lane Vintage Market](https://maps.app.goo.gl/nCvewxtzhcrPU2aH9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) basement for odd old clothes, [Rough Trade East](https://maps.app.goo.gl/sCvEdAfUzuvddzsSA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for interesting new music inspiration, [Freedom Press](https://maps.app.goo.gl/3n3YduQZSBUwUiMb6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for anarchist literature, [Libreria Bookshop](https://maps.app.goo.gl/9VJdcvWPFvnH5VDv6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) which is tiny but adorable, [Urbiana](https://maps.app.goo.gl/tXHCfAMRfUqKjZTd8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for affordable unusual jewellery, or trendy [Spitalfields market](https://maps.app.goo.gl/jeYSiSnPAzxkaZJCA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Explore [Dennis Severs' House](https://maps.app.goo.gl/kjaxUH5V6gnpwzHJA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (Thursday - Sundays only, best to buy tickets before you go), it's hard to describe, but it's basically an old house that tells a story through time. - Have dinner in Shoreditch. For the quintessential London experience, it's got to be at at [Dishoom](https://maps.app.goo.gl/uinNnnoSB4f3E4Ej9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), probably our most famous Indian restaurant, but I also like [Xi'an Biang Biang Noodles](https://maps.app.goo.gl/ivJDcMwnGVHG8iUu9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Brother Marcus](https://maps.app.goo.gl/hyj7FotU2R14wduy8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Follow your nose to any of Shoreditch's many many vibey bars and pubs for pre-drinks, before heading to a club. The big ones are [Village Underground](https://maps.app.goo.gl/A8H5cuv5E3JmDd3R9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [XOYO](https://maps.app.goo.gl/oo7BeSSdqtFihrQZ7?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Queen of Hoxton](https://maps.app.goo.gl/c8A1igHhrfojWFcW8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ## A few more favourite nerdy London suggestions: - There are SO many delightful free nerdy lectures on every day of the week in the city, on any topic you can imagine. Check [Gresham College](https://www.gresham.ac.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Royal Society](https://royalsociety.org/science-events-and-lectures/public/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Conway Hall](https://www.conwayhall.org.uk/talks/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and the [Lectures London](https://lectures.london/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) directory. - London's big on immersive theatre/game type things. The most famous ones are by [Punchdrunk](https://www.punchdrunk.com/work/violas-room/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), but it's often impossible to get tickets. [Phantom Peak](Phantom Peak is insane fun. It's like playable PG13 Westworld. %28https://www.phantompeak.com/%29) is WILD fun. It's like playable family-friendly Westworld. I've heard good things about the [Stranger Things experience](https://strangerthings-experience.com/london/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and mixed reviews of the [Doctor Who](https://www.immersivedoctorwho.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) experience. [Streethunt](https://streethuntgames.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) runs mega-fun immersive games around the city, meaning you get to solve a mystery and see the city at the same time. - [Walking tours](https://www.viator.com/London/d737-ttd?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) are one of the best ways to get to know the city. Dig online, and you'll find tours relating to almost any topic you're into. - Japanophiles, there's a tiny but magical [Japanese gallery](https://maps.app.goo.gl/1J3XPvbSFpkUHn6K7?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) in Islington that has original Studio Ghibli storyboards. - There are a bunch of real-world adventure games which take you around the city solving clues, kind of like escape rooms that also let you see the sights. [Hidden City](https://www.inthehiddencity.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) has some great ones. - Keep an eye out for [candlelight concerts](https://feverup.com/en/london/candlelight?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) of your favourite fantasy/sci-fi soundtracks. - There are games pubs all around the city. The three big chains are [Draughts](https://www.draughtslondon.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (board games), [Loading Bar](https://loading.bar/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (a mix of board games and consoles), and [Four Quarters](https://fourquarters.bar/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (really fun old-school arcades but with beer). There are plenty of e-sports bars around if you're missing your high-end gaming PC back home (try [New Meta](https://maps.app.goo.gl/RTHJbtvEXrWwV6cVA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or [SideQuest](https://maps.app.goo.gl/tH4HKGnepw2Zx5cT8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)). - I haven't mentioned all the major museums and touristy things because you already know about them, but that doesn't mean they're not great. I particularly love the Tower of London, the National Portrait Gallery, the V&A, the British Museum and the Science Museum. Small kids ADORE the Transport Museum and the Natural History Museum. The [Young V&A](https://www.vam.ac.uk/young?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is a lesser-known museum with brilliant free exhibitions for nerds-in-training. Psst ... are you actually *moving* to London, rather than just popping by? [Here's a stack of free resources for you.](https://www.newcomers-club.com/free-resources?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Enjoy, fellow dorks! Let me know in the comments which of your favourite geeky activities I've missed. xx Sam ### Uilleann pipes URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/uilleann-pipes/ Last updated: 2024-02-29T18:19:31.000Z Hello all youse,\* Five musicians huddle around a bench in the corner of The Cobblestone, a wood-panelled pub in the heart of Dublin: two fiddlers, an accordion player, a flautist, and a man holding what appears to be several recorders jammed into a deflated rugby ball. They're playing Irish folk music, a jaunty repetitive rhythm which becomes somewhat trancelike, like what I imagine you'd hear at a pirate rave. A group of trad musicians at The Cobblestone, on a different night. I can't take my eyes off the man with the strange bagpipe-like instrument. It seems to require a dozen simultaneous co-ordinated actions: he's playing one of the upright pipes like a flute with the fingertips of both hands, and also holding chords across the other pipes with his wrist, and also rhythmically squeezing the bag between his elbow and his waist. Learning to do this must have taken years of practice. One of the other rapt listeners tells me they're uilleann pipes, and that the Mulligan family have been playing Irish music in this pub for five generations now, and maybe longer, no-one remembers. Irish strangers are very happy to chat to you, something I don't realise how much I've missed, living in repressed England. I'm in Dublin on a brief city break, desperate to escape the ongoing rainy February London gloom, swapping it for some rainy February Dublin gloom, which at least has the benefit of being new gloom (to me). I'm hoping the change of scenery will brush some cobwebs out of my brain. It feels ridiculous to complain about feeling burnt out from being a writer, surely the most self-indulgent of careers. And yet, I do feel burnt out. Exhausted. "Thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread," in the words of Bilbo Baggins, someone who would have felt right at home here. The thing everyone tells you to do in Dublin is to go to one of the old pubs and listen to "trad music", as they call it. This pub smells of Guinness and oak, and there are oil paintings on the walls showing people playing these same instruments 200 years ago. There is no sheet music; these are songs which have been passed down ear to ear for generations. You can find small groups of musicians gathered in the corners of pubs like this most nights, honouring an old tradition, perpetuating their culture. The musicians are local heroes, but few of them make a living from doing this. ![oc01802s.jpg (20389 bytes)](https://www.harpanddragon.com/images/oc01802s.jpg) **Uilleann piper - National Gallery of Ireland* I often think about how making art is a fundamental human activity. People have been singing and drawing and telling stories for as long as people have been people. In a healthy culture, I think, making art is seen as a skill much like cooking: sure, professional chefs exist, but cooking isn't something only professional chefs do. Most of the meals you eat are made by your kith and kin. Most of the *best* meals you eat are made by your kith and kin. Cooking is a skill everyone is encouraged to learn, encouraged to practice every day if it brings them pleasure. All art should be like that. By contrast, I'm struck by how often I meet people who draw, or write, or sing, or play an instrument, but when they tell you about it, very quickly caveat, "oh but I'm not an artist/writer/musician", like it's an embarrassing thing to admit that you make art but do not pay your bills with it. Like "artist" is only a noun you can BE, only to the exclusion of all else, rather than something that you can DO. That we can all do, in a myriad of ways. A few years ago, after I'd published a bestselling nonfiction book, and a picture book, and some short stories, and was writing kids TV shows, I remember sitting in my psychologist's office and telling her I still didn't feel like I was a real writer. Because I hadn't published a novel. Because I still had a day job that paid my rent. And she cocked her head at me and said, "Are you waiting for the International Society of Writers to give you a 'I'm a Real Writer' card? You're writing. You're a writer. *Whose permission are you still waiting for?*" My favourite place in Dublin so far is the [Leprechaun Museum](https://www.leprechaunmuseum.ie/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). You enter a room designed to look like an old hut, and vivid storytellers tell you some of the old Irish legends and folk stories. This, too, is a tradition passed down through hundreds of years. Historically, bards would go from home to home and tell stories in exchange for food and a place to sleep for the night. They were called *seanchaithe*, and they could recite long epic poems, share local news and gossip, and tell bawdy or scary stories to entertain families during long winter nights. Netflix before there was Netflix, repositories of stories before most people could read. If you want to hear some of these stories, [the museum has a podcast!](https://open.spotify.com/show/45pGuavNnOfqKH8RE1Pgci?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) S*eanchaithe* made storytelling their craft, but walk around Dublin and you'll soon realise *everyone and her dog* is a storyteller here. In just a few days in the country, I heard rambling, hilarious, vivid stories from waiters, taxi drivers, bar servers, shop attendants, complete strangers at the tram stop. At this latitude, the sun sets at four p.m. in winter. There's a lot of time for storytelling. ![](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/5f/The_Fairy_Feller%27s_Master-Stroke.jpg) Richard Dadd's 1855 painting, **The Fairy Feller's Master-Stroke*, which he painted while a patient at Bethlam, a hospital for psychiatric illness. There's a political dimension to all of this. Culture isn't a neutral thing that's simply passed along. There's been a distinct effort to revive elements of Irish culture since the nineteenth century (the Gaelic revival), and it's gone hand-in-hand with the struggle to overthrow English colonialism. The English denigrated and suppressed Irish culture, to reframe their domination as a benevolent "civilising" mission (take British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli calling them a "wild, reckless, indolent, uncertain and superstitious race" or this 19th century *Punch* cartoon depicting the Irish as [monkeys](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-Irish%5Fsentiment?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#/media/File:Monkeyirishman.jpg)... any of this sounding familiar, South Africans?). The Irish language was almost extinct by the time the English were thrown out in the 1920s; now it's a mandatory subject taught in every school. The roots of Irish trad music and folk stories are old, but contemporary efforts to celebrate them have been an explicitly nationalistic project. Taking pride in Irish culture has been a key component of postcolonial liberation. In just a few decades at the end of the 20th century, Ireland went from one of the poorest countries in Europe to one of the richest, and it's wonderful to see how much money they have invested in celebrating Irish culture. Every bookshop is filled with local books. Tourism is designed around Irish music, art and literature. Every public road sign is bilingual. There are plentiful public grants for authors and artists. It gave me pangs, thinking about the rich possibilities for South African culture (and tourism!), if we could only support and celebrate our own artists in the same way. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/02/Pasted-image-20240229144401.png) An advertisement from New York in the 19th century, specifying "No Irish need apply", which was quite common. The history of colonialism in Ireland is different to the history of colonialism and Apartheid in South Africa, but their history of struggle against oppression does chime with ours in some ways that I found quite moving. (Of course, things are never that simple; some Irish people were *colonisers* in India and Africa, as well as people colonised in their own countries – history is complicated and there are no Goodies and Baddies.) But to walk around Dublin is to walk around a city with a clear sense of rediscovering itself, of taking pride in itself. And in every pub, people are telling stories and making music with their friends, not waiting for anyone's permission, being a part of it. It's pretty damn lovely. Wishing you a glass of Jameson Black Barrel if you partake! Your local *seanchaithe,* Sam **P.S. Are you someone who makes art but doesn't feel like you can call yourself an artist (/writer/musician/...)? Email me and I will send you a "I'm a Real Artist" card! I need you to tell me a bit about the art you make :)** --- *\*Like Indian South African and Southern U.S. "you all/y'all", the Irish have a charming plural version of "you", as do most languages! Standard Modern English is the outlier for NOT having a separate plural form of the second-person pronoun. In Old English, "thou" was the singular second-person pronoun and "ye" was the plural. Thank you for tuning in to today's episode of Nerdy Linguistics Tangents with Sam.* ## Some other lovely Irish things: - **Teen books:** One of the most enduring Irish folk stories is that of a changeling, when the Other Folk (Fairies/Fey) steal a human baby and replace it with a log or an old fairy enchanted to look like the child. I've recently re-read two fave dark riffs on that premise, Krystal Sutherland's [*House of Hollow*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/54613751-house-of-hollow?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=9daZQqM95v&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (young adult) and Frances Hardinge's [*Cuckoo Song*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18298890-cuckoo-song?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=DlZt5R50oP&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (marketed as 12+, but honestly one of the creepiest books I've ever read). I love them both! - **Adult books:** To get in the Irish mood, I've been reading Anna Burns' [*Milkman*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/36047860-milkman?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=z3PG8kzShm&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*,* a brilliantly claustrophobic novel about the Troubles (I highly recommend the audiobook), and Paul Murray's [*The Bee Sting*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/62039166-the-bee-sting?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=LsCBCtezwi&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)***,*** an irresistible family comedy-drama. - **Music:** All-time favourite indie-rock band The Decemberists have a new song out [("Burial Ground")](https://open.spotify.com/album/5jodqSew9785i4tEIRLase?si=QbmLLVVBQci1PWNaEv2vcQ&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and are touring this year and I am FROTHING with excitement. They write these long bardic story-songs rich with historical allusions, my kryptonite. They're from Oregon, but the sound is heavily influenced by Irish folk music via sea shanties. One of my best hiking memories is walking the Whale Trail singing all nine minutes of ["The Mariner's Revenge Song"](https://open.spotify.com/track/3GDIZO71jiE1FEcHEJh3RH?si=120411b369324898&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) with my friend Jon Keevy from memory. - **Activities:** If you find yourself in Dublin, in addition to listening to trad music at the pub and going to the Leprechaun Museum, may I recommend the walk from Bray to Greystones, the [Literary Pub Crawl](https://www.dublinpubcrawl.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), seeing the famine memorial, eating the wild garlic gnocci at L. Mulligan, visiting Chapters and Hodges Figgis bookshops (where it was delightful to spot my and Dale Halvorsen's book baby *Girls of Little Hope*)and paying homage at the Gay Spar. - **Newsletters**: Bestie Lauren Beukes visited Dublin with me, and recently launched her own newsletter! It's an absolute treat, filled with book and TV recommendations and reflections on the writing life. [Subscribe here.](https://mailchi.mp/65443bbbc61e/brain-worms-from-lauren-beukes?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ### Pruning Time URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/pruning-time/ Last updated: 2024-02-20T12:28:46.000Z Hello loves! February, from the Latin *Februa*, the month of purification, purging. It's still pretty grim here in the northern hemisphere, skeletal trees stretching into freezing grey skies. One of the things I most love about living in the UK is how much it forces you to live with the seasons. The reason the British talk about weather so much is that there's so much bloody weather to talk about. The daily rhythm of my life here looks so different in spring, summer, autumn, winter. One has no choice but to exercise differently, eat differently, commute differently, socialise differently, dress differently. This is a huge contrast to Durban, where I spent the first twelve years of my life, where "winter" was about three degrees colder than summer, and "spring" was two weeks of mild wind around August. I kind of like the seasonality of England, having to completely reinvent my routines every few months. And now, in frigid February, I feel like a bear sluggishly shaking myself awake after several months of winter rest. Since moving to the northern hemisphere, I now insist that the year *really* begins on 1 March, as it historically used to (this is the reason *Oct*ober is called *Oct*ober - it was the eighth month). January is no time for resolutions. There's no point attempting to improve yourself in the short dark days of January and February. All of nature is telling you to rest, to lie fallow. Nothing in nature is designed to grow consistently and infinitely. Expecting consistent productivity from yourself is a surefire route to burnout. I have this Chinese money plant (*Pilea Peperomioides*), once my pride and joy. It's been getting more and more bedraggled over the past few months, its heavy main stem flopping over, leaves curling up in distress. I've tried so many things to save it. A grow light. More water. New fertiliser. Frequent misting. Nothing's worked: it continues to glare at me from the shelf. There's nothing so demoralising as being judged by a houseplant. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2024/02/houseplant.jpeg) I know, someone call the houseplant abuse hotline. A week ago, I finally took drastic action. I gave up. I lopped off the tips of the healthier side stems and put them in a jar of water. Already, just a few days later, tiny roots are pushing through. In a few more weeks, I'll be able to replant those fresh healthy stems, and start afresh. I should have done this months ago, cut back the old to make room for fresh growth. I've been thinking a lot about the power of pruning, about the liberation of letting go. Asking myself what other parts of my life need a good clear-out so that I can make room for the new. The pruning is often painful. Letting go of something you've poured your hopes and your time and your effort into is hard. But it's necessary. **Is there anything in your life it's time for you to let go of?** Because when I peer closely at the world, I can see signs of spring: snowdrops pushing through the soil, delicate cherry blossoms confetti-ing petals across the pavements, tiny pink buds on the tips of hazel trees sending their pollen on the wind. In Joburg, I hear it's still sweltering. But a new season's coming. It always does. --- ## **Some lovely things for February** - **Music**: I've had Florence & the Machine's 2022 explosively joyful *Dance Fever* album on repeat recently, especially the song "[Choreomania](https://open.spotify.com/track/7xdHw4C522RbsxHL9KD9L6?si=f3d5cb56996940b4&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)", named after the dancing plague in Europe in 1518\. It feels like a good song for dancing in the springtime. - **Adult books**: Appropriately for the shortest month, I've been reading a lot of short novels. Durban-based writer Sven Axelrad's [*Buried Treasure*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/124450001-buried-treasure?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)is - indeed - a real treasure, a strange magical realist story about a girl who apprentices with a grave-digger who's losing his eyesight and has been burying bodies in the wrong graves, meaning that their ghosts are all stuck in the graveyard unable to move on. It's strange, poetic and constantly surprising. I've also been loving [**The Queens of Sarmiento Park**](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/175525335-the-queens-of-sarmiento-park?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Argentine writer Camila Sosa Villada, about a found family of trans women who collectively adopt an abandoned baby boy. The story is meandering but the characters and setting are unforgettable. Nick Cutter and Andrew Sullivan's [***The Handyman Method***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/62919902-the-handyman-method?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)is a fun horror romp about a man who goes mad renovating his house (very relatable, as someone who has recently bought a 140-year-old flat). Read it if you liked the TV show *Channel Zero.* For nonfiction, Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah's [***The Sex Lives of African Women***](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/141384885-the-sex-lives-of-african-women?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)is an utter treat: a diverse collection of interviews from across the continent (and diaspora) about love, identity, violence and pleasure. - **Kids and teen books**: If you've got a generally reluctant reader around 8-10 who liked Jeff Kinney's [*Diary of a Wimpy Kid*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/389627.Diary%5Fof%5Fa%5FWimpy%5FKid?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)and Louie Stowell's [*Loki: A Bad God's Guide to Being Good*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/59076799-loki?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F14), try them on Eva Amores and Matt Cosgrove's wacky and hilarious [*Worst Week Ever*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/59640427-worst-week-ever?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=xHNvrhzr7j&rank=2&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)series. For younger teens, I've recently dug [*Viking Boy*](https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/15943264?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Tony Bradman, a rollicking adventure about a boy on a mission to rescue his mother and avenge his father's murder, with thick strands of Norse mythology. Gina Blaxill's [*You Can Trust Me*](https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/59653150?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is a twisty whodunnit dealing with class privilege and date rape that older teens will gobble up. - **Games**: Do you like 700-piece board games and also solving the climate emergency? Try [*Daybreak*](https://www.daybreakgame.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). One of the designers is Matt Leacock, who also designed the co-operative game *Pandemic*, and it feels quite similar in play style and scope. One to four players play as world powers trying to achieve "drawdown", where the world is capturing more emissions than we are producing, while trying to survive the crises resulting from rising temperatures. It's a great educational tool; I felt it really captures concepts like tipping points, sources of resilience, preserving existing carbon sinks versus speculative geo-engineering R&D, and the trade-offs we have to make between investing in mitigation and emission reduction. It's also extremely fun, once you get a hang of the rules (I'd hesitate to recommend it to people who haven't really played board games before; the rule set is fairly complex). - **Poetry**: I loved ["Aerial View"](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2024/01/29/aerial-view-jericho-brown-poem?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a buoyant little poem by one of my favourite contemporary poets Jericho Brown, about how everyone venerates the lion, but he'd prefer to be a giraffe. *I want to be a giraffe/And eat greens of every variety/Straight out the tree. I already/Like to get high. Lions need/Animals like us. We need no prey./I already won't chase anybody/For my food.* ## A little gift for you Hey, do you want to [read the first page](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/femme-feral-prologue/) of my work-in-progress new novel? YES friends, we're doing another monster story. This one involves a lot of body hair and sewers, and it's really an exploration of rage. I'm reworking the last act, then my agent is going to take it out on submission. Wish me luck! ## Two requests - **South Africans living abroad**, do you know that you can register to vote in the elections this year? You've got to do this soon, though! [Here's the link](https://online.elections.org.za/voterportal/voter/registration/abroad?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **South Africans living in South Africa**, have any of you ever struggled to get inaccurate information corrected on your credit score? Or, do you have some other wild credit score-related story to share? I'd love to interview you for an article I'm writing, please hit reply! Wishing you all the courage to prune the dead branches in your life, Sam ### Femme Feral sneak peak URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/femme-feral-prologue/ Last updated: 2026-03-02T13:02:28.000Z Look: the city at night. It wants you to believe it is powerful, at once modern and timeless, the centre of the world. The lights are still on even at this hour, City workers typing into laptops running companies that span the globe, lured back to the office with the promise of free lunches, climbing walls, the absence of children, to populate these skyscrapers shaped like sculptures, to prop up this edifice of power. At ground level, workers hurry home or to the pub, to all-night putt putt or underground ping pong discos or five-course multi-sensory blindfolded tasting experiences or any of the other dazzling entertainments the city can offer to the overpaid. Tourists scurry back to the theatres before the end of intermission. Twentysomethings roll towards the nightclubs, ketamine and cocaine secreted in their underwear. Good lads out on the piss. And the people they don’t think about very much, who live in a different city entirely, albeit one sharing the same space: the pubescent boys who sell them their powders, the tired men who sell them their late-night kebabs, the women who will come in after the workers leave the office to wash the floors. All of this is the city’s mask. Don’t believe it. Look below. Under the pavements, though the sedimentary layers of mud and bones, of chalk and clay, 2,000 years of human trash. The network of power lines, gas pipes, fibre broadband cables, threading through the dirt in a snarl of secret tunnels. Here, in crumbling red brick laid down two-hundred years ago after a boiling stew of faeces closed parliament in the Great Stink. Here is the real city. A fragile capillary system of sewers built in the 1800s when this was, in fact, still a centre of power and not just pretending, funded by money syphoned from an empire spanning from Cape Town to Vancouver Island. Joseph Bazalgette’s kingdom of the filthy and taboo. Of the utterly necessary. Here flows the unmentionable contents formerly of human intestines, here live thriving colonies of E. coli and Covid-19, cockroaches and wet grey rats. Everything lost up there ends down here eventually: credit cards and phones, lost wedding rings, hypodermic needles, tiny skeletons. They swish down the lazy rivers of piss, find their way into the fatbergs — thick plaques of cooking oil and wet wipes and tampons and shit, clogging the pipes like ageing arteries. And there is something else down here that has no place in the shining city above. A shadow, like something that climbed from the collective nightmares of every sleeper in the city. A memory of something that lived on this island a long time ago, before they were hunted to extinction, five shillings per tongue the reward. A creature with hulking hunched shoulders, starveling body, a long loping gait. Hideous. Bestial. Its strong back legs kick through putrid sludge, toes webbed, nostrils closed up like a seal’s. The beast lurches onto a dry ledge. Foetid water drips from bedraggled fur onto the concrete. There is so little light down here that nothing should be able to see. Nonetheless, the beast bounds off with sure steps. The beast smells something stirring in the air above. A shift in season. ### Is it worth saving parasitic wasps? URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/january/ Last updated: 2024-01-12T13:56:11.000Z Hello loves! Welcome to 2024 💛. If you've set goals for yourself, I hope they're gentle ones. I'm trying to take more photos of my life, go on more solo adventures, and worry less about pleasing other people. I finished a draft of my novel at the end of last year, YAY, so I took a proper holiday and now I'm gleefully doing edits. I'm at the stage of the creative despair cycle that goes, "maybe this isn't so terrible actually??", which is sandwiched right between the stages "this is worthless" and "oh lololol I should just move to the Eastern Cape and raise goats", so I'm enjoying it while I can. In-between editing, proudly watching the ICJ trial, and trying to keep my fingers warm in subzero temperatures, I've been thinking a lot about extinction recently. ## Venomous Lumpsucker When I was younger, one of my most annoying habits was picking an unpopular philosophical position and debating it ad nauseam with everyone I came across (I'm so sorry, everyone who survived being friends with me through my 20s). Probably one of the most exasperating contrarian arguments I endlessly subjected friends to: **that there's no rational reason to care about species extinction**. We should be far more concerned about the suffering of chickens in factory farms, I argued, than about losing the last rhino. It's curious for me to look back now on this position I once so firmly espoused, because biodiversity loss is now one of the issues I feel most passionately about. It is hard for me to articulate the reasons why. It's simply that when I think about how much humans are stripping the world of its dazzling natural complexity, I feel overwhelming grief. I found this feeling explored cathartically in 2023's [Arthur C. Clarke Award](https://www.clarkeaward.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) winning novel: [*Venomous Lumpsucker*](https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/59593576?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)by Ned Beauman. Set in the near-future, it imagines a world where big businesses trade Extinction Credits to pay for species they destroy (much like we currently trade carbon credits). The story follows an animal cognition scientist and a food-obsessed business executive as they desperately track down the last surviving members of a hideous fish species which has suddenly become extraordinarily valuable, the venomous lumpsucker. Look, it's a book about extinction, but it's hilarious? ![](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61Y1flKgiYL._SL1500_.jpg) The book is a romp through inventive landscapes: a nature reserve full of toxic waste, a seasteading research lab free of legislation, a refugee camp full of British people escaping what's become an economically wrecked totalitarian state (too close to home!). But my favourite section of the book explores how the scientist character (Karin Resaint) changes her mind, like I did, about the tragedy of extinction. Initially, Karin finds most arguments against extinction to be quite feeble. For one thing, most of the species being lost aren't adorable rhinos, they're microscopic parasites or insects, who would never be missed except by the few researchers who study them. > Nobody had ever set eyes on most of the endangered bugs, not even the naturalists whose job it was to compile the catalogues. Therefore nobody could pretend to miss them. They were 'precious' only in the abstract. New ones evolved, and old ones went extinct; this churn had been going on since the Ordovician period. Even the arguments about species' instrumental value, she says, are not well justified. "For instance, every species played some role in its ecosystem, so in theory its removal could have an unpredictable ripple effect. But most of the time there would be dozens of other species who were almost indistinguishable from it and would be quite happy to fill its shoes." But then Karin studies *Adelognathus marginatum*, a parasitic wasp that lays eggs inside a particular species of striped spider, and she is struck by how miraculous it is that it even evolved at all. > Evolution was a monstrous maker, a blind heedless thing inching along in no particular direction, the whole disaster fuelled by spilled blood and wasted effort... all of it was random mutation, which was like editing a novel by simply copying it out again and again in the hope that the typos you made would not just spare the meaning but actually render new insight. What could be more absurd? And yet this clusterfuck had yielded *Adelognathus marginatum*, which could mind-control a spider with counterfeit hormones in order to swipe its best handiwork for the larva that has just drunk its lifeforce like a smoothie. Somehow, inert matter had organised itself into something so convoluted and delicate and whimsical and cruel... How could this brilliant, intricate, hilarious thing – the fluke result of an unrepeatable process, the legacy of some dizzying number of past individuals, all of them, in hindsight, striving unconsciously towards a single invention – not be valuable in itself? What did it matter if anyone appreciated it, if it did any good for anyone? Suddenly, what used to just feel like a statistic - 10,000 species lost per year - feels like a tragedy beyond words. > If evolution gave her a sense of the sublime – so many billions of animals over so many millions of years, just to devise one species – then the extinction crisis did too ... The diversity of life on earth was (as far as anyone knew) the most majestic thing in the universe, and human beings were (as far as anyone knew) the only living things with the capacity to appreciate that majesty, and yet human beings were also the ones who were stamping that majesty out, not deliberately by carelessly, incidentally, leaving nothing behind but a few scans and samples that nobody would ever look at. ![undefined](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/65/Vaquita4_Olson_NOAA.jpg) The vaquita, a tiny porpoise which lives only in the Gulf of California. There are 10 individuals of the species left. Photo by [Paula Olson](https://swfsc.noaa.gov/staff.aspx?id=825&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), NOAA. A witty, funny satire about the disastrous unintended consequences that can result when we try to use capitalism to save the world, [*Venomous Lumpsucker*](https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/59593576?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) was my favourite holiday read. ## Computers Don't Argue Speaking of disastrous unintended consequences, I recently was telling someone about one of my favourite classic sci-fi short stories, from 1965, "Computers Don't Argue" by Gordon R. Dickson, and was delighted to discover that the whole thing [is available online](https://www.atariarchives.org/bcc2/showpage.php?page=133&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (it's five pages long, click ">> NEXT" at the bottom of the page to continue reading). It's a story that feels extremely pertinent in this time where more and more justice system decisions are made by AI and algorithms. ## Games Games Games! Simon Dingle and I [had a long-overdue chat on the internet](https://www.takebacktheday.co/67?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), this time about games: what makes games fun and work unfun? We discuss some of our favourite recent games (mine include [Honey Heist](https://gshowitt.itch.io/honey-heist?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Poetry for Neanderthals](https://www.explodingkittens.com/products/poetry-for-neanderthals?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Smallworld](https://www.daysofwonder.com/small-world-universe/small-world/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)), as well as the high-octane thrills of the [Microsoft Excel World Championship](https://fmworldcup.com/excel-esports/microsoft-excel-world-championship/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). I know I say this every year, but Simon and I do want to get back into the habit of recording episodes of ***Take Back the Day*** more frequently. Subscribe on your favourite podcast player of choice, or [listen here](https://www.takebacktheday.co/67?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). [GamesGames are fun. Work... not so much.![](https://assets.fireside.fm/file/fireside-images/podcasts/images/0/036071b8-8777-4253-b312-fe530eedb728/touch_icon_ipad.png?v=1)Take Back the DaySam Beckbessinger & Simon Dingle![](https://assets.fireside.fm/file/fireside-images/podcasts/images/0/036071b8-8777-4253-b312-fe530eedb728/episodes/0/0ebc6cf9-d853-450f-83a3-dddff70d7231/cover_medium.jpg?v=1)](https://www.takebacktheday.co/67?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) I'm not sure what format these newsletters are going to take this year. I might try to make them shorter and more frequent, or longer and less frequent, or devote them entirely to photos of my cat. I'd love to hear from you what you find useful or interesting, so hit reply and let me know! Wishing you marvels of evolution, Sam ### Meander Maps URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/meander-maps/ Last updated: 2023-12-09T09:37:20.000Z Boney M is on repeat, I have consumed several barrels of mulled wine, it feels like *good grief how are there still so many working days left*, and it's dark at 4pm*.* In other words, it's beginning to feel a lot like Dezemba. I'm racing to finish my novel by the end of the year, but finding time in-between to indulge in my favourite panic-procrastination activity: hyperfixating on obscure topics for 12-24 hours at a time, before never thinking about them again! ## Thinking about maps I spent a chunk of this June staying in a castle in rural France (don't hate me). The castle is so old that it has a moat, but over the centuries, the river that once fed it moved two-hundred metres away. Never fear, because the dry moat is now lush with stinging nettles: a superior line of defence! A river feels like such a permanent thing, an immovable feature of the landscape. But even landscapes writhe and shift, given enough time. I've been recently fascinated by maps which attempt to capture *change*, like this gorgeous map series by cartographer Harold Fisk from 1944 which chart the shifting paths of the Mississippi River, its "meander belt". ![harold fisk mississippi river](https://the-public-domain-review.imgix.net/collections/maps-of-the-lower-mississippi-harold-fisk/fisk-map-key-2.jpg?fit=max&w=1200&h=850) One of my favourite TikTokers (@[jakie62](https://www.tiktok.com/@jakie62?is%5Fcopy%5Furl=1&is%5Ffrom%5Fwebapp=v1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)) dates old globes, usually accurate to within a couple of months, by looking at political details like whether the Democratic Republic of Congo is called Zaire, or if the Soviet Union exists. As humans have an increasingly dramatic impact on our landscapes, it strikes me that we'll soon be able to date our maps by *geophysical* clues. For instance, you could look for Uunartoq Qeqertaq ("Warming Island" in English), an island in Greenland that was uncovered by the melting polar ice caps and officially added to the *Times Atlas of the World* in 2011\. ![undefined](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c1/Warming_Island_USGS_Landsat.jpg) A comparison of satellite pictures of "Warming Island" between 1985 and 2005 You could check how big Lake Chad is - it shrank 90% between the 1960s and the 1990s. ![Lake Chad](https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/640/cpsprodpb/10E02/production/_100622196_lake_chad_water_levels_v02_640-nc.png) **Good thing people don't need water to survive!* Maps can record change, but they can also upend our perspective. One last map I've been thinking about a lot recently is this 1942 one by South African-American oceanographer Athelstan Spilhaus. It's a map which centres the **ocean** rather than the land, or, as my dear friend Charne Lavery puts it (borrowing from Frans Blok), "how a penguin looks at the world". Listen to Charne being absurdly witty and brilliant about it on a [13-minute podcast here](https://witswiser.podbean.com/e/charne-lavery-southern-oceanicity/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ![](https://www.esri.com/arcgis-blog/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/SpilhausBathymetry.jpg) The "Spilhaus Projection" - an ocean-centred way of seeing the world ## Thinking about insatiable appetites ![The Glutton by A.K. Blakemore](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1675870174i/101146050.jpg) Hat-tip to the (uncredited!) cover artist, because DAMN. Sneaking in under the wire to take its place as one of my favourite novels of the year is A. K. Blakemore's *The Glutton*: the reimagined story of a real-life 18th-century sideshow performer who could eat almost anything - corks, live eels, possibly babies. The novel reminds me a little of Patrick Süskind's[*Perfume*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/343.Perfume?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=6wB2RJVcbC&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) in how it skips a tightrope between the grotesque and poetic, deploying radiant prose to tell a sick story. It's obscene and deeply discomforting, but also profoundly moving and humane. Every single sentence is just so damn well-written it makes me want to throw my laptop into the river. Bestie Lauren Beukes wrote a magnificent review of it for the [*New York Times*](https://www.nytimes.com/2023/10/31/books/review/the-glutton-a-k-blakemore.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which begins: > You can’t trust poets. They feel too keenly for other people, are too ready to climb into the hearts and guts of things and lay them bare and bloody and obscenely beautiful in front of you. Even monsters. Maybe especially monsters. ## Thinking about historical deepfakes ![The Roses of Heliogabalus by Lawrence Alma-Tadema (1888)](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/33/The_Roses_of_Heliogabalus.jpg/2560px-The_Roses_of_Heliogabalus.jpg) **The Roses of Heliogabalus* by Lawrence Alma-Tadema (1888) In the year 218 AD, a fourteen-year-old named Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (known as Elagabalus) became the emperor of the Roman Empire, which at that point stretched from Scotland to Egypt. Over his four-year reign, he did pretty much exactly what you would expect a fourteen-year-old emperor to do: spent his time throwing *epic* parties. Here are just a few of the many wild stories about Elegabalus. - He often served 22-course meals including peacock heads, flamingo brainsand rice with pearls. - He had pet lions and leopards that would cuddle up with guests after meals. - He invented the whoopie cushion. - His pet dogs lived on foie gras. - As party favours, he'd give out carriages. - He had couches of solid silver made for his banqueting-rooms. - He never wore the same pair of shoes twice, insisting on a new pair each morning. - He made major political decisions by drinking match. - He (she?) might have been a trans woman, asking people to refer to her by feminine pronouns, dressing as a woman and marrying her male charioteer, leading [some contemporary writers](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-67484645?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to reclaim Elagabalus as a queer icon. - He once ordered so many rose petals to shower over his guests at a party that he accidentally smothered them to death (depicted in the painting above). A true icon, am I right? Only... sorry, but none of these things likely happened! The problem with trying to learn anything about famous people in history, especially those who were assassinated (as Elagabalus was), is that their biographies were usually written by people who had a vested interest in making them seem terrible (thereby excusing the fact that they were murdered). Elagabalus suffered worse than most because he was Syrian, an outsider who worshipped a non-Roman god. Most of these tales about him were inventions designed to curry favour with his successor on the throne. I had the privilege of listening to classicist [Mary Beard](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/128747007-emperor-of-rome?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=72pyFImfk4&rank=2&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) talking to [David Mitchell](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/152034931-unruly?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F2%5F6) about this last week (gotta love how much nerdy shitthere is to do in London). > The toolkit with which people have constructed an image of their rulers, judged them, debated the character of an autocrat's power and marked the distance between "them" and "us" has always included fantasy, gossip, slander and urban myth. (Mary Beard) It's interesting to realise that some of the most lurid (and fun) stories from history are probably untrue, but it's also interesting to think about what the lies themselves tell us about society at the time, what behaviour would have been considered sordid and monstrous, and what that reveals about the anxieties the Romans had about their autocratic rulers. I also enjoyed Beard's sassy response to the question, ["Why do you think men spend so much time thinking about the Roman Empire?"](https://www.brandwatch.com/blog/how-often-think-about-roman-empire/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#:~:text=The%20Roman%20Empire%20trend%20sees,it%20a%20lot%20%E2%80%93%20sometimes%20daily.), which was (I'm paraphrasing), "Generalising... men like to imagine conquering things, and the Roman Empire is the last acceptable face of fascism." Read more about this in Mary Beard's accessible and delightful new book, [*Emperor of Rome*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/128747007-emperor-of-rome?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F2%5F15)*.* ## Thinking about dying empty I recently came across this lovely quote about writing by [Annie Dillard](https://geni.us/07il2E?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which I think applies to all of our most meaningful work: > One of the few things I know about writing is this: spend it all, shoot it, play it, lose it, all, right away, every time. Do not hoard what seems good for a later place in the book, or for another book; give it, give it all, give it now. The impulse to save something good for a better place later is the signal to spend it now. Something more will arise for later, something better. These things fill from behind, from beneath, like well water. ## Thinking about financial infidelity A request for help, dear readers! I'm writing a piece for *Fairlady* about financial infidelity, and I'm looking to interview people who discovered that their partner or spouse **lied to them about money**. Do you have a story about secret debts, uncontrolled spending, credit cards taken out in your name, an investment that didn't exist, assets hidden during a divorce, or outright fraud? I'd love to talk to you. Anything you share with me will be treated with utmost care and confidentiality, and will be reported anonymously. If you're happy to chat, just hit reply. --- This is probably the last newsletter for the year, friends, so until the new year, I'm wishing you parties worthy of Elagabalus, and time with your loved ones. Sam ### 100,000 copies later URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/100-000-copies-sold/ Last updated: 2023-11-24T09:45:16.000Z Hello loves! In 2015, I wrote a blog post on Medium that changed my life. It was a five-part essay called "How to Manage Your Money Like a Fucking Grownup", a simple summary of the personal finance lessons I'd learned the very hard way. It was a silly thing with a silly title, full of GIFs, and I never expected it to take over my life for several years. I'm so glad it did. I didn't really get to celebrate when the book came out. My dad was dying and it was the worst year of my life, and that whole time is a blur to me now. But we've just sold the 100,000th copy in South Africa, and that feels like a good excuse to celebrate it now! It's still incredibly funny to me that I - a person who was notoriously terrible with money for most of my 20s - am now best-known for writing a money book. But I'm damn proud of that silly thing, because of all the people who've told me what it's meant to them. So here's a very-2015-internet-GIF toast to all the people who made this happen: to my publishers Ester and Jeremy, to Nanna and Kelly and Matt and Jean-Marie and Georgina and John and LB and Claire, to the booksellers, and to the entire magnificent squad at Jonathan Ball, thank you. And cheers to all of you, too, for riding shotgun on this rollercoaster 🥂 ![A gif of Michael Scott from "The Office" showering Erin with champagne](https://thebitchywaiter.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/partying.gif) You go, little book baby! Here are five other things that have been on my mind this week. ## *1 - Doom Loop* \- Dream Nails Playing on repeat this week has been the new album from my fave gen-Z queercore punk band Dream Nails, specifically the joyful track "Femme Boi" and "Sometimes I Do Get Lonely, Yeah", an empathetic take on incel culture. ## 2 - SA Expats Podcast interview I had a great chat with Jonathan Warncke on the *South African Ex-Pats* podcast recently, talking about how the British are basically hobbits. ## 3- *Friendaholic* by Elizabeth Day > \[Friendship\] is the least biological, organic, instinctive, gregarious and necessary … the least **natural** of loves. - C. S. Lewis Research about friendship tells us that we replace half of our friends every seven years, and yet so little has been written about the ways we make and lose friends. I recently loved *Friendaholic* by Elizabeth Day, with its focus on how to kindly end bad friendships, and the value in doing so. Day boldly structures the book around her own relationships, devoting each chapter to a study of a particular friendship, some of which ended dramatically. From exploring why a certain friendship flourished or unravelled, she draws out insights about the nature of friendship itself. She is brave enough to interview those friends (when she can) and ask them about her own failings in those relationships, gradually exposing herself as a "friendaholic", someone who confuses friendliness with friendship, who manically collects new friends, who clings to people who are horrible to her, and who ends up - as she describes it - "spending all my time trying to satisfy everyone who asked things of me, while almost never seeing the friends I loved the most." The truth, she argues, is that each of us has a finite number of "friendship slots" in our lives, in concentric circles of closeness. Setting boundaries and letting bad friendships go is the only way you can treat your close friendships with the integrity they deserve. "The end of a friendship," as she concludes, "does not necessarily make you a bad friend." In addition to some pragmatic advice and helpful scripts for dealing with difficult friendship situations, the book takes some amusing detours, for instance this digression into the long and ignoble history of ghosting (historically known as "cutting"): > By 1898, E. Cobham Brewer had gone to the trouble of identifying different kinds of ‘cut’ in his Dictionary of Phrase and Fable. The ‘cut direct’, he wrote, was ‘to stare an acquaintance in the face and pretend not to know him’. The ‘cut indirect’, ‘to look another way, and pretend not to see him’. The ‘cut sublime’ was ‘to admire the top of some small edifice or the clouds of heaven till the person cut has passed by’. And finally, ‘the cut infernal’ was ‘to stop and adjust your boots till the party has gone past’. Savage! If you need more scripts for drawing boundaries with difficult people, [Melissa Urban's *The Book of Boundaries*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60706850-the-book-of-boundaries?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=CmXJFIutUx&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)is full of them. ## 4 - The Murderbot Diaries ![undefined](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/8f/All_Systems_Red_-_The_Murderbot_Diaries_1_%28cover%29.jpg) I'm not usually a hard sci-fi gal, but I've been *tearing* through this wonderful series about a half-human half-robot security cyborg (who calls itself Murderbot) who manages to hack into its governor chip and develop free will, which it uses to ... um, watch soap operas. But, by watching all these soap operas, Murderbot develops empathy! And then it starts to care about humans, even - gag - become *friends* with some of them, which is terribly inconvenient when you are a Murderbot. I mean, what a premise. The first book (*All Systems Red*) is a novella you can finish in a couple of hours, and it's so much fun. ## 5 - Is My Toddler a Stochastic Parrot? Finally, I adored [this illustrated *New Yorker* essay](https://www.newyorker.com/humor/sketchbook/is-my-toddler-a-stochastic-parrot?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about a cartoonist becoming obsessed with ChatGPT while watching her toddler learn to speak (as she so charmingly puts it, "the world races to develop sophisticated large language models, while a small language model unfurls itself in my home"). In unfolds into a discussion about our humanness, which is also our animalness - the parts of us which are not language, like our ability to want and to love. It definitely made my eyes a little misty. ![Is My Toddler A Stochastic Parrot?](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5614b9f4e4b0f9222d3045b7/1700077440821-94B43ZQMT2B1WW76IB5B/image-asset.gif?format=2500w) Illustration by Angie Wang If the topic of how humans learn to speak interests you, I highly recommend [*The Articulate Mammal* ](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/961360.The%5FArticulate%5FMammal?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=bJbEhsKuBL&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)by Jean Aitchison, which I first read as a textbook in second-year Linguistics but have re-read many times since then out of pure fascination. Enjoy the weekend, loves! I'm wishing you bubbly beverages, free will and friendship. Sam ### Rugby, Course Syllabi, and Billionaire Survivalists URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/rugby-course-syllabi-billionaire-survivalists/ Last updated: 2025-10-26T09:44:30.000Z Hello, loves! I've spent most of the week getting lost down research rabbit holes while working on *Snarltooth*, including many joyful hours tracing the exact route of the Thames Tideway megasewer and thinking about how one might hypothetically break into it. Why? NO REASON. CARRY ON. In-between having far too much fun writing my novel, here are five things I've been thinking about this week. ### The joy of a good syllabus When I was doing my undergraduate degree, the literature course everyone wanted to take was called "Sex, from Sappho to Cyber", which involved an examination of spicy scenes in literature from the ancient Greeks all the way to the present. For obvious reasons, this was the most oversubscribed course at the University of Cape Town in 2005\. I never managed to get in, being as I was always so tardy about completing registration, but I still remember poring over the syllabus, thinking how lovely it was that the lecturer (the marvellous Dr Jessica Tiffin, if I recall correctly) had thought to map a multi-week conversation that took in both ancient Greek poetry and sexy fanfiction about Saruman from *Lord of the Rings.* Done correctly, a course syllabus is a magical document, a roadmap through a strange subject. But, kind of like a roadmap made by your dad, so instead of being like "Turn right on Hill Road, go on 300 metres", it's like "Okay, drive until you see the really wonky tree, the tree that looks like your uncle Gregory, you know the one, then take a left there at the McDonald's that used to be a liquor shop." A syllabus is innately idiosyncratic, personal, the record of someone who's travelled the route themselves many times, and has trodden one potential trail amongst a potentially infinite number. Take, for instance, the wonderful syllabus for Ethan Hein's course ["Musical Borrowing from Plainchant to Sampling"](https://www.ethanhein.com/wp/2023/musical-borrowing-syllabus/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Here is some of the module "Sampling and Remixing": *\--* ***Reading: An Intro to Remixes*** *Read my blog post, "An Intro to Remixes" (2020), and listen to the audio examples. In particular, compare "*[*Copacabana*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9vqhR7XHdA&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*" by Barry Manilow (1980) to the* [*Reflex Revision*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U907umxfo5w&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) *by Nicolas Laugier (2017), which only uses audio found in the original multitrack stems. In a short paragraph, answer the following questions: Would you consider these to be the same piece of music? Should Laugier have been required to get Manilow's permission before creating his re-edit? If so, why? If not, why not?* ***Project: Talking Heads remix*** *Download the acapella to "Burning Down The House" by Talking Heads. Create a blank DAW session and set the tempo to 103 bpm. Drag the acapella onto a new audio track. (The acapella begins with almost eight bars of silence, so don't be alarmed if you click Play and don't hear anything right away.) You will then create a new instrumental backing track for this song. You can use whatever loops, samples, MIDI, or live instruments that you like. You can also edit and process the vocal as much as you like. The song is in G but you may get interesting results from reharmonizing it. You can also simply use drums/percussion and not worry about harmony at all.* *\--* Isn't this syllabus a delight? It's so easy to understand, just by reading the curriculum, what the major debates in the discipline are, and what skills are required for its mastery. Even if you don't do the readings, have the debates or complete the projects, the curriculum itself tells you so much about the landscape of the topic. Maps of learning like this are often produced by universities, but they don't have to exist only in formal education contexts. I used to belong to a reading group called "Feminist Fight Flub" in Cape Town where we co-developed our own curriculum around feminist theory. It's become one of my favourite questions to ask the autodidacts in my life, people who've developed deep expertise in some niche topic like tree identification or the sex lives of corrupt wizards: *if you were designing a beginner's course on this topic, what would you include in it?* [*The Atlantic* published an interesting piece a few months ago](https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2023/08/college-syllabus-courseware/675069/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about how the syllabus is increasingly degenerating into a bureaucratic cover-your-ass-legally bit of paperwork, but I still believe that if done well, they're lovely things. Related: it's been wonderful to see [*Survive the Century*](https://survivethecentury.net/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), the choosable-path game/story I co-created with a group of climate change experts, appearing on syllabi, such as this one at the University of Georgetown. [Starting my future of higher education seminar at GeorgetownToday I’m holding the first class for my Georgetown University Learning, Design, and Technology future of higher education class. It’s one I created from scratch and am enormously fond…![](https://bryanalexander.org/favicon.ico)Bryan AlexanderBryan Alexander![](https://bryanalexander.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Future-University-in-Egypt.jpg)](https://bryanalexander.org/classes-and-teaching/starting-my-future-of-higher-education-seminar-at-georgetown/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Have you seen any brilliant syllabi out in the wild recently? Please send them to me! I'm starting a collection. ### The teenage body as a source of horror I had a lovely, wide-ranging conversation with Jen Thorpe on her *Living While Feminist* podcast, where we discussed the innate body horror of being a teenage girl, media narratives about teenage girl friendship in the 90s, and what I learned about myself in moving to the other side of the world. [Listen here.](https://open.spotify.com/episode/0GeZwx7FAQ4BV2b8CwczJ9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ### Naomi Alderman's *The Future* ![Naomi Alderman's The Future](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/51l2iHVG0DL._SL1000_.jpg) Do you sometimes wish you could watch a Hunger Games-style survival reality show where the contestants are the CEOs of SpaceX, Amazon, and Facebook? Unfortunately you can't, but you can do the next best thing: read Naomi Alderman's dazzling new novel [*The Future*](https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/123163147?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which imagines that the (lightly-fictionalised) billionaires who run the world end up stranded on a desert island together after the crash of civilization. In addition to that enormously fun central premise, it's a nuanced, brilliant reflection on what the tech takeover is doing to our world, and what might be required to resist. > “You and I,” he said, “have helped something happen in this world. A huge wash of information. Unprecedented. The only thing it’s like is the Gutenberg print revolution and that was followed by four hundred years of bloody war. Suddenly, people were exposed to so much more information than ever before. They had no systems to process it or to tell truth from lies. They were overwhelmed. That’s where we are. And humanity doesn’t have time for four hundred years of bloody war right now. There are so many emergencies to deal with.” Interwoven with deep Biblical scholarship and full of layered, gutsy characters (*not* the billionaires), it's a hopeful romp through an insane future. It's out on 7 November - if you loved Naomi Alderman's breakthrough gender novel [*The Power*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29751398-the-power?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), don't miss it! ### The London Metro Memory game I have lost an embarrassing number of hours this week to the [London Metro Memory game](https://london.metro-memory.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a challenge to try to name as many of the stops in London's tube/overground/DLR network as you can. I'm up to 40%, which I don't think is too bad after having lived here for two years! ![The London Metro Memory tube game](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/10/image-5.png) ### Rugby and ... birds? Look, there probably aren't too many other people in the specific Venn diagram intersection between "mega hype for the Rugby World Cup Final tonight" and "obsessed with identifying birds", but if you're there with me, [*The Birding Life*](https://www.thebirdinglife.com/podcast/episode/f1dc7e0d/season-8-episode-3-the-bird-world-cup?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) podcast just released an episode of the "Bird World Cup" where they pit five green-and-gold South African birds against five black-and-white New Zealand birds. Yes, this is the dorkiest shit I've ever told you about, I'm sorry. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/10/image-4.png) ### BONUS: more reads about parenting, alloparenting and nonparenting Thank you, all of you who sent me recommendations for essays and books about parenting, nonparenting and alloparenting after last week's newsletter! I especially enjoyed Anne Helen Peterson's helpful, wise essay ["How to Kid-Proof Your Friendship"](https://annehelen.substack.com/p/how-to-kid-proof-your-friendship?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and Leslie Jamison's essay about pregnancy and eating disorders, ["The Quickening: A Story of Two Births"](https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2019/09/leslie-jamison-pregnancy/594784/?src=longreads&utm%5Fsource=Longreads+Newsletters&utm%5Fcampaign=4ba8912368-Longreads%5FTop%5F5%5FAugust%5F23%5F2019&utm%5Fmedium=email&utm%5Fterm=0%5Fbd2ad42066-4ba8912368-238690109&mc%5Fcid=4ba8912368&mc%5Feid=8d0476fb4c). [I've compiled the full list here](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/bonus-s-fave-readings-about-parenting-alloparenting-and-nonparenting/), if you're interested in reading more on the topic. Wishing you curiosity, hope for the future, and fun celebrating the 100% definite win of the Springboks tonight! 🇿🇦🏉🎉 Sam ### BONUS: Some fave readings about parenting, alloparenting and nonparenting URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/bonus-s-fave-readings-about-parenting-alloparenting-and-nonparenting/ Last updated: 2023-11-07T18:20:11.000Z I mentioned that, now that I'm in my late 30s and have fully entered my auntie era, I've been reading widely about fertility, parenting, alloparenting and nonparenting. Here's a collection of some lovely essays, books, and podcasts you all suggested for me. *A general content warning: some of these pieces feature explicit discussions of baby loss, so avoid if that's a sensitive topic for you right now.* ### **On fertility, pregnancy and other forms of creating families** - Anna Hartford's essay ["Unfathomable Life"](https://yalereview.org/article/anna-hartford-unfathomable-life?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#:~:text=It%20was%20some%20covert%20virus,Jonathan%20had%20done%20it%2C%20inadvertently.) in *The Yale Review* about the impossible choices faced during fertility treatment. - The superb superb novels [*Detransition Baby*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/48890225-detransition-baby?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=34Oa1XNNET&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)(Torrey Peters)and [*The Argonauts*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22929741-the-argonauts?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F13) (Maggie Nelson), about creating queer families. - Joanne Ramos's provacative novel [*The Farm*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41398025-the-farm?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F2%5F8), exploring the ethics of surrogacy in a capitalist hellscape. - Claudia Dey's charged essay ["Mothers as Makers of Death"](https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2018/08/14/mothers-as-makers-of-death/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) in *The Paris Review.* - Leslie Jamison's essay about pregnancy and eating disorders, ["The Quickening: A Story of Two Births"](https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2019/09/leslie-jamison-pregnancy/594784/?src=longreads&utm%5Fsource=Longreads+Newsletters&utm%5Fcampaign=4ba8912368-Longreads%5FTop%5F5%5FAugust%5F23%5F2019&utm%5Fmedium=email&utm%5Fterm=0%5Fbd2ad42066-4ba8912368-238690109&mc%5Fcid=4ba8912368&mc%5Feid=8d0476fb4c) in *The Atlantic.* - The memoir [*The Rules Do Not Apply*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/32572166-the-rules-do-not-apply?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=muHRraLmt3&rank=2&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Ariel Levy, about divorce and miscarriage. ### **On not having children** - Ann Patchett's marvellous essay about choosing to be childfree, "There Are No Children Here" in the collection [*These Precious Days*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/56922687-these-precious-days?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=EvPgP2Bvpj&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*.* My favourite thing ever written on the topic. - The essay collection [*Selfish, Shallow and Self-Absorbed*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/21853680-selfish-shallow-and-self-absorbed?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=W9X4JWLk6y&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)\- a mixed bag of essays I loved and essays which frustrated the heck out of me, but the overall picture is nuanced and illuminating. - Lisa Hanawalt's sweet and poignant cartoon essay on choosing horses over children, [**"Choosing Horses"**](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2022/12/26/why-i-chose-horses-instead-of-babies?utm%5Fcampaign=falcon%5FmHCX&utm%5Fsource=facebook&utm%5Fmedium=social&mbid=social%5Ffacebook&utm%5Fbrand=tny&utm%5Fsocial-type=owned&fbclid=IwAR2oFSm6mNtixHiO03ilK-wDhTTjm753ZEmolPVPv2iTi1Wvpfs6q5-NAG4)**.** ### **On alloparenting and the auntie/uncle/auncle life** - Patricia Lockwood's luminous novel about aunthood and children who die too young [*No One is Talking About This*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/53733106-no-one-is-talking-about-this?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=YrK2vpPLtS&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*.* - The practical *NPR Life Kit* podcast episode ["How to be a supportive adult in a kid's life".](https://podcasts.musixmatch.com/podcast/life-kit-01gttmmw40ccvdxeykj4f3epze/episode/how-to-be-a-supportive-adult-in-a-kids-life-01h5m72g80a6hy5gjfwvepz8pj?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - Anne Helen Peterson's helpful, wise essay ["How to Kid-Proof Your Friendship"](https://annehelen.substack.com/p/how-to-kid-proof-your-friendship). ### **On parenting** - The 2023 Mencare report on ["State of the World's Fathers"](https://www.equimundo.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/State-of-the-Worlds-Fathers-2023.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - The online community [Good Inside](https://www.goodinside.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - Season 5 of Jen Thorpe's wonderful [*Living While Feminist*](https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/living-while-feminist/id1531010677?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)podcast, which is centred on the theme "parenting while feminist". Got something to add? Pop it in the comment box below! ### Cosy October URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/cosy-october/ Last updated: 2023-10-17T17:21:57.000Z Hello buddies ❤️ I've just returned from a month in South Africa, spending time with loved ones (and - thrillingly - loved ones' babies!) and meeting as many readers as I could. Thank you, all of you who showed up at the events, panels and school visits - these chats/hugs/weeping-together-about-the-world were some of the highlights of my year. I came back exhausted but thrilled to be back in London for Autumn, the crunchiest season. I've mostly been working on [*Snarltooth*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/latest-projects/), teaching my creative writing classes at [Bath Spa University](https://www.bathspa.ac.uk/our-people/sam-beckbessinger/index.php?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and putting some excellent things in my eyes and ears. Here are some cosy highlights! ### Cosy sounds for your ears Music I've had on repeat this week: - **Abel Selaocoe**'s haunting new single ["Voices of Bantu"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNqEueXoKLs&ab%5Fchannel=WarnerClassics&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). I can also thoroughly recommend his virtuosic 2022 album *Where Is Home (Hae ka Kae)*. Think township grooves plus cello, often accompanied by traditional Xhosa throat singing (umngqokolo) and body percussion. The effect is *transcendent*. Londoners, you can see him [live at the Barbican](https://www.barbican.org.uk/whats-on/2024/series/artist-spotlight-abel-selaocoe?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) over the next few months. - [*Air*](https://www.google.com/search?sca%5Fesv=573962864&rlz=1C5CHFA%5FenGB1034GB1035&sxsrf=AM9HkKmQ%5FjcLL90yR3OqokSr8VGyXv9kMg:1697546418446&q=air+sault&tbm=vid&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjblIuajf2BAxW-VkEAHXNvBuoQ0pQJegQICBAB&biw=1611&bih=1330&dpr=2#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:dd28845d,vid:884-vMqZslQ,st:0), a lush contemporary classical album by British music collective SAULT. - *Javelin*, which is Sufjan Stevens once again breaking my heart, this time with songs about romantic losses, like ["Will Anybody Ever Love Me?"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLeCIRC4taY&ab%5Fchannel=SufjanStevens&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and ["So You Are Tired"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjHG25QwYeg&ab%5Fchannel=SufjanStevens&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ### Cosy films/tv shows for your eyes Okay, neither of these are remotely cosy, but strong recommendations for: - [*Stop Making Sense*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rjMwSTeVeo&ab%5Fchannel=A24&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a filmed Talking Heads concert from 1984, recently remastered and re-released by A24\. If you can, try to catch this in cinema: when I saw it, it quickly devolved into a dance party and the energy was electric. If you have no idea who Talking Heads are, they're basically art school disco music, their frontman David Byrne is like if Mr Bean was a legitimate genius, and Radiohead named themselves after one of their songs. - [*The Fall of the House of Usher*](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt15567174/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*,* the perfect spooky TV show for October, available on Netflix. This is the latest from Mike Flanagan, my #1 horror director crush, the man who created *Haunting of Hill House* and *Midnight Mass*, and it's based on the works of Edgar Allen Poe. It's literary, gory, schlocky, clever, and superb fun ... all while taking a good poke at the [Sacklers](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sackler%5Ffamily?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Yes please. Talking about movies, I was recently interviewed by [the podcast *The Video Store*](https://open.spotify.com/episode/6mDyut5QGhWSVFs4sFTyu0?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and asked about the films which I loved the most at different parts of my life. My interview starts 22 minutes in. ### Cosy reads for your brain So, I'm in my late 30s and many of my friends are having babies, which means I have fully entered my AUNTIE ERA, and I'm bloody thrilled about it. I've always been quite certain I don't want to give birth to children, but I nonetheless adore kids, so the [alloparenting](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alloparenting?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) auntie life is something I'm pretty hyped about. ![r/actuallesbians - Carmen Maria Machado Hi, it's me, your weird gay aunt. I'm coming to Christmas in my Subaru while drinking an unsweetened espresso beverage and listening to a podcast about the sinking of the Lusitania. I got you books. 2:27 PM 24 Dec 18 Twitter Lite](https://preview.redd.it/rit6srhbln621.png?width=960&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=05b8ef028662c4ddae0c420472fce7c45d27d2e7) My favourite recent read about parenthood is Anna Hartford's [magnificent essay "Unfathomable Life"](https://yalereview.org/article/anna-hartford-unfathomable-life?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#:~:text=It%20was%20some%20covert%20virus,Jonathan%20had%20done%20it%2C%20inadvertently.) in *The Yale Review* about the impossible choices faced during fertility treatment: > Stepping into my fertility doctor’s room for the first time ... felt not unlike stepping onto a treadmill that forever picked up speed and would never let me off. The doctor paged enthusiastically through booklets explaining tier upon tier of treatment options: ovulation inductions and inseminations and regimens of hormonal injections; tubal and uterine surgeries; in vitro fertilizations, in which sperm and egg cells are joined in a laboratory; genetic tests and analyses; donor eggs and donor sperm and surrogacy. > I had entered a place of branching choices and alternatives, of fierce debate and moral judgment and conflicting information, of endless recalculations of risks and benefits. My cherished notions of surrender and acceptance—with their convenient implications of innocence—soon gave way to a state of constant alertness, deliberation, anxiety, and research. I haven't encountered anyone writing so thoughtfully about the choices and anxieties IVF prompts, but it's a piece that illuminates issues of relevance to **all humans**living in a world which increasingly resembles the 1997 film *Gattaca*. A **content warning** on this one, there are explicit discussions of baby loss, so avoid if that's a sensitive topic for you right now. 💛 (Thanks, Charne, for the recommendation!) Some other writing about parenting that I've loved recently are the novels [*Detransition Baby*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/48890225-detransition-baby?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=34Oa1XNNET&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)and [*The Argonauts*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22929741-the-argonauts?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F13), about creating queer families; Ann Patchett's marvellous essay about choosing to be childfree, "There Are No Children Here" in the collection [*These Precious Days*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/56922687-these-precious-days?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=EvPgP2Bvpj&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com); Patricia Lockwood's luminous novel about aunthood and children who die too young [*No One is Talking About This*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/53733106-no-one-is-talking-about-this?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=YrK2vpPLtS&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com); and the 2023 Mencare report on ["State of the World's Fathers"](https://www.equimundo.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/State-of-the-Worlds-Fathers-2023.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/10/image.png) An extract from "There Are No Children Here" by Ann Patchett Do you have any suggestions for books and essays about fertility, parenthood, nonparenthood and (especially) auntiehood? Hit reply and let me know! ### And lastly, a cosy game! Are you into birdwatching? No? Okay, well [give it twenty years](https://www.gq.com/story/in-praise-of-being-washed?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and come back to me. If you DO, then boy do I have a treat for you. My buddies Maya and Meg got me hooked on [Birdle](https://birdle.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a daily guessing game where you identify a South African bird. I would like everyone to know that I got today's in ONE GUESS based solely on the call and it's the HIGHLIGHT of my WEEK. I'd love them to make one about UK birds so that I can learn their names but I think it would all just be pigeon, pigeon, pigeon, crow, pigeon based on what I've seen around London. Wishing you cosiness, loving aunties, and sightings of the White-winged Flufftail (which is *not* today's bird, sorry) Sam --- ## Interviews & scribblings Want more? Some recent interviews and articles I've published elsewhere: - A chat on the [South African Ex-pats podcast](https://open.spotify.com/episode/5BImuPS2opJFJOlhf49rZ1?si=c7794a53930f483a&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about [*Moving to the UK*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/moving-to-the-uk-a-concise-guide-for-south-africans/) - An incredibly fun chat about [*Girls of Little Hope*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49lMJdRuAqg&ab%5Fchannel=ZarniaGames%26Geekery&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) with *Speak to the Geek* where Dale and I finally talk about all the spoilers! - A short essay about my lifelong commitment to overambitious DIY, in the latest [*Visi*](https://visi.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) magazine (print edition) - A column in the November/December issue of *Fairlady* considering the costs of elderly care in South Africa ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/10/image-1.png) A snippet of my piece in VISI ### Moving to the UK launch day bayyyybeeeeeee! URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/moving-to-the-uk-launch/ Last updated: 2024-06-18T13:39:50.000Z Hello loves :) *[Moving to the UK: A Concise Guide for South Africans](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/moving-to-the-uk-a-concise-guide-for-south-africans/)* is officially on sale TODAY. I'm so proud of this little book. It grew out of a wildly elaborate spreadsheet that I started putting together when a dear friend moved to the UK two years after me, which I mostly created on the couch while being sick with Covid and bored out of my mind (what, other people don't make comfort-spreadsheets when they're ill?). It just kept growing and growing, until it became a 40,000 word document, which eventually I sent to my agent with an apologetic "look I'm sorry I know I'm supposed to be writing another novel but this book really wanted to come out of me instead". So here it is: your end-to-end guide to moving from South Africa to the land of tabloid, tweed and terrible weather. Writing this book healed me. Moving countries is one of the most difficult, emotionally fraught things I've ever done, and writing about it has been my way of making sense of it all. It's a very pragmatic guidebook, but it's also - in a way - memoir. Maybe self-help books always are. *I lost myself in the admin of it all. Admin is my drug of choice (and my love language apparently – I’ve never been more sexually attracted to Matt than when he suggested we make a Gantt chart to figure out the timings of our move).* *The admin was a cope, obviously. I channelled all my grief into fretting over inventories. I ignored my worries about whether we were making the right choice by worrying about how I was going to get Digby into his carrier.* *That last Cape Town summer had the audacity to be perfect. It’s hard leaving a life you still love, just because of a vague intuition that, in the long run, doing so will bring you deeper joys and a richer life. What’s hope for the future in the face of long hikes in the Cederberg? Over dinner parties that go late into the night telling jokes with your brilliant, beautiful friends? Over sitting in a lapa with your family as a Highveld thunderstorm rolls over the sky?* *Leaving is hard because you know you’re breaking your mother’s heart. Your best friend’s heart. They won’t tell you, because they love you and they want you to be happy, but you’re abandoning them and it sucks. And you know it. But you have to do it anyway.* *So, you step out into the big, wide unknown. You board a flight. Hurting. Hopeful.* The book is divided into four sections: 1. **Deciding to move**. Factors to think about when deciding if moving is right for you, pros and cons, what it all costs, the best ages to move with kids. 2. **The move itself**. How to get a visa, find a UK job, ship your stuff and your pets over, and deal with the *mountains* of admin. 3. **Setting up your new life**. How to open a bank account, find a home, and set up the basics of your new life. 4. **A path back to happiness**. Some thoughts about making friends, surviving the weather, figuring out your finances, and learning to love the UK on its own terms. **South Africans**, you should be able to find it in any local bookshop. **People who are already in England**, [get the ebook here](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Moving-UK-Concise-Guide-Africans-ebook/dp/B0CG6VCB9S/ref=sr%5F1%5F1?crid=39Z72XWVBGRVM&keywords=beckbessinger+moving+to+the+uk&qid=1692784832&sprefix=beckbessinger+moving+to+the+uk%2Caps%2C59&sr=8-1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (physical book coming soon). ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/08/JBP-Moving-to-the-UK-2.jpg) ## Launch dates I'm doing two *Moving to the UK* book launches in South Africa, which I'll be running as **short workshops** covering how to think about whether moving to England is the right choice for you. Come say hi! **Cape Town** - Date: Tuesday 12 September - Time: 18:30 for 19:00 - Venue: Exclusive Books V&A Waterfront, Cape Town - RSVP is essential to book your spot via [events@exclusivebooks.co.za](mailto:events@exclusivebooks.co.za) **Johannesburg** - Date: Wednesday 27 September - Time: 18:00 for 18:30 - Venue: Exclusive Books Rosebank, Johannesburg - RSVP is essential to book your spot via [events@exclusivebooks.co.za](mailto:events@exclusivebooks.co.za) **Londoners**, come join us at the [Newcomer's Club](https://community.newcomers-club.com/home?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) summer meetup, this Sunday (**August 27th**), [details here.](https://community.newcomers-club.com/c/events/?sort=asc&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) --- Thank you for your support, friends. I'm wishing you emotional-support-spreadsheets and hope! Love Sam ### RSS and other horrors URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/new/ Last updated: 2023-08-15T07:00:58.000Z Hello loves! I aten't dead. It's London summer, which has been a blur of Aperol Spritz, cycling adventures, rooftop raves, and... well, endless rain. It is England, after all. I've been working on *[Snarltooth](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/latest-projects/)* (my second novel), planning the launch of *[Moving to the UK](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/moving-to-the-uk-a-concise-guide-for-south-africans/)* (24 August)*,* and having some delicious chats about *Girls of Little Hope.* Here are five quick things which have been on my mind. ## 1\. Girls of Little Hope Easter Eggs One of the tastiest *GOLH* conversations Dale Halvorsen and I had recently was a discussion with dear friend [Jon Keevy](https://jonkeevy.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for *Zarnia Games & Geekery*. Jon is a fellow nerd and fiction writer, so we really get into the weeds about the mechanics of plotting twists, why we chose the format of a novel rather than a comic book, and some of the easter eggs we hid for our friends to find. [Watch it here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IirxZqq8XrE&ab%5Fchannel=ZarniaGames%26Geekery&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) We're planning a follow-up SPOILERY chat where we talk about THAT THING, the ending, and that other thing with the thing, so subscribe to Zarnia to hear when it's out :) ## 2\. Streams versus inboxes I will never entirely get over the mad belief that the only thing standing between me and pure productivity bliss is finding exactly the right set of apps. Yes, I understand that this is utterly delusional! But still, nothing's more thrilling for me than the sweet sweet high of getting a brand new workflow in place, which feels like it's going to solve all my problems and give me meaning in life. So, let me tell you about the recent magical-app-that-I'm-sure-will-fix-me: [Readwise](https://readwise.io/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed, in recent months, not so much dropping balls as throwing them into the propellers of a jet engine, cackling. One of the reasons for this, I've realised, is that I've been misusing my email inbox, simultaneously expecting it to act as a to do list and a stream of content I might like to read if I get a moment (and I never get a moment). I blame [Substack](https://substack.com/inbox?utm%5Fsource=sticky%5Ftab). Or rather, I blame the collapse of traditional business models for journalism, and whatever the heck is happening with social media, which have led many of my favourite writers to start publishing their own excellent newsletters. This has led to the situation where I'm getting like 6,000 emails a day, most of them newsletters (yay) or marketing mails from shops I bought like one spatula from, four years ago, and haven't bothered to unsubscribe from (boo). An untenable situation. Enter: **RSS**. Or rather, re-enter, since this retro technology is what all us productivity geeks were using a decade ago. RSS, for those of you born after 1995 or who have more interesting hobbies than trying out productivity apps, is a way for you to subscribe to a bunch of different websites and see all the new updates in a single reader app. It's like an inbox, but just for stuff you want to read from the internet. [Readwise Reader](https://readwise.io/read?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is my favourite one, right now. You can use RSS to subscribe to your favourite publications (including Substacks), or add any web page (or PDF) with the click of a button. You can also automatically sync your comments and highlights to your notes app of choice (Obsidian, Evernote, Notion) if that's the flavour of nerd you are. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/08/image.png) Readwise Reader In fact, it's better to NOT think of it like an inbox (with that dreaded "unread" counter subtly scolding you) but rather like a stream of content you can dip into as you wish. An information buffet. An algorithm-free Twitter account, only not run by a petulant billionaire manbaby from Tshwane. I've found it's already helping me to feel a little less like I'm drowning in "shoulds". [Readwise Reader](https://readwise.io/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is not free, but it's worth it if you read a lot of internet and have some kind of personal knowledge management system you like to take notes in. If you're after a simpler free alternative, try [Pocket](https://getpocket.com/en/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or [Instapaper](https://www.instapaper.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). If you want to subscribe to *this* newsletter over RSS, by the way, here's the link: ## 3\. Recent reads I have read so many wonderful books recently! The highlights: **Adult books** - *[Bridge](https://laurenbeukes.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, the new novel by Lauren Beukes, a multiverse Wunderkabinett of parasites, choices, found family, and the impossibility of ever really understanding your mother. Yes, Lauren is one of my favourite humans on the planet, but this is honestly the best thing I've read all year. If you want a taste, here's how [*The* *New York Times*](https://www.nytimes.com/2023/08/07/books/review/bridge-lauren-beukes.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)described the villain: "She is relentless. She is merciless. She is a middle-aged woman with a little dog named Mr. Floof II (Mr. Floof I was eaten by an alligator)". It's moreish, sciencey, bonkers, full of heart, and just so, so good. - *[The Great Believers](https://www.goodreads.com/notes/40126622-the-great-believers/3534387-sam-beckbessinger?ref=h%5Fcr)* by Rebecca Makkai, about people trying to live their lives while AIDS ravages the gay community in Chicago in the 1980s. It's a deeply moving story about loss, love, and survival, and the ways sweeping historical moments are experienced as personal tragedies ("It's always a matter, isn't it, of waiting for the world to come unraveled? When things hold together, it's always only temporary.”). The audiobook had me sobbing my eyes out in the middle of the free weights section of our local gym while all the muscular gymbros threw me concerned looks. Thanks to my dear friend Meg for the recommendation. - [*How to Sell a Haunted House*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/59414094-how-to-sell-a-haunted-house?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=iB2XKSOai2&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)by Grady Hendrix, about a Type-A Responsible Oldest Daughter type Louise who has to return to her hometown and sell her parents' house after they die in a tragic accident, with little help from her disappointing younger brother Mark. There's just one problem: the house is full of possessed murder-puppets. I *devoured* this book, which manages to be both creepy as heck and utterly hilarious. The adult sibling relationship is written with impeccable insight, with Mark and Louise learning that they are much more complex people than the family roles they've always occupied. It will make you want to call your siblings, and also destroy anything vaguely doll-shaped in your house. Loved it. - Not a book, but I also adored Simone Scriven's [moving and hopeful long-read article](https://delacortereview.org/2023/07/18/the-birth-and-rise-of-ecocide/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#:~:text=From%20the%20perspective%20of%20the,of%20ecocide%20does%20not%20do.) about the lawyers and activists working to criminalise atrocities against nature ("ecocide"). **Children's books** - *[Nell Plants a Tree](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60877574-nell-plants-a-tree?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=1s2ibARxzS&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* \- a gorgeous picture book by Anne Wynter and Daniel Miyares about a girl who plants a tree which grows through her life, and then her childrens', and then her grandchildrens'. It's a tender story featuring a Black family with a home passed through generations, something which has particular poignancy in many parts of the world, and definitely in South Africa. - *[A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/54438721-a-wizard-s-guide-to-defensive-baking?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#CommunityReviews)* by T. Kingfisher, a whip-smart and hilarious teen book about a 14-year-old wizard who can only perform magic on baked goods, trying to figure out who's killing all the magical people in the kingdom. Her familiar is a sentient sourdough starter and she enchants gingerbread men to do her dirty work. I adored this. - Dashe Roberts' *[Sticky Pines](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/48517462-the-bigwoof-conspiracy?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=zCapk8y6Dw&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* series, a spooky, action-packed, pun-filled four-part series for your age 9+ fans of Gravity Falls and Stranger Things (and 36 year olds named Sam). There are plucky teen heroes, twisty mysteries, subtle environmental themes, and many excellent jokes. ## 4\. "Undercurrency" in translation "Undercurrency", my short story about love and kelp farming, has been included in the Bengali anthology [Chiaroscuro Tales: Contemporary African Speculative Fiction](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/178400555?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=RhloQwCkaE&rank=7&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), edited by the wonderful [Wole Talabi](https://wtalabi.wordpress.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and Debjyoti Bhattacharya, translated by Amit Debnath. One of my favourite translators, Ken Liu, said that, "Translation is an act of recreation," and I'm honoured that my work was chosen to be recreated. You can read the [English version here](https://upshot.riscura.com/undercurrency/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/07/Mockup-HD-2.jpg) ## 5\. Events! Wanna hang out IN REAL LIFE? I do! **Newcomers to the UK** (people who've moved to the UK from another country and are desperate for friends), come join me at a summer picnic in London to meet other newbies! [RSVP here.](https://community.newcomers-club.com/c/events/london-summer-meetup?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Summer meetup (London) | The Newcomers ClubJoin us for a picnic to meet fellow Newcomers in London. All Newcomers welcome, whether you’ve been here for 2 days or 12 years! Kids and well-behaved dogs welcome (on-leash). Bring your own food and drink. There is a Sunday market and a cafe where…![](https://d2y5h3osumboay.cloudfront.net/kpwzutp5hnnpy0z34s3fu7t28hcl?=621142904852344962)The Newcomers Club![](https://d2y5h3osumboay.cloudfront.net/wtlh7z0rb50o2plwqeencdrxk3gm)](https://community.newcomers-club.com/c/events/london-summer-meetup?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) **Capetonians,** I'll be visiting your beloved shores for South Africa's best literary festival, [Open Book](https://openbookfestival.co.za/authors/sam-beckbessinger/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). You've got three events to choose from: 1. Dale Halvorsen and I talking [collaborative writing](https://openbookfestival.co.za/programme/teamwork/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) with Qarnita Loxton & Gail Schimmel. 2. Joining Sven Axelrad and Busisekile Khumalo in conversation with Daniella Djan about [complex friendships](https://openbookfestival.co.za/programme/enduring-connections/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). 3. And, TO MY HORROR, trying to make you all laugh with some [writing improv](https://openbookfestival.co.za/programme/writersports-2023/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), along with Diane Awerbuck, Sara-Jayne Makwala King, Wanjiru Koinange, Bongani Kona and Mohale Mashigo (who are all much funnier than I am). ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/08/openbook.jpg) **Joburg**, don't feel left out, I'll be visiting you in late September! Still finalising the details, but I'll definitely be at [Comic Con Africa](https://comicconafrica.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). I hope to see many of you in the real world soon. In the meantime, I'm wishing you sunshine and a productivity app to solve all your problems. Love, Sam. ### Chiaroscuro Tales: Contemporary African Speculative Fiction in Bengali URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/african-speculative-fiction-vol-2-in-bengali/ Last updated: 2023-08-04T16:17:32.000Z I'm so honoured that my short story, "Undercurrency", was chosen for inclusion in the anthology *Chiaroscuro Tales: Contemporary African Speculative Fiction* in Bengali ('আলো আঁধারের উপাখ্যান') edited by Wole Talabi and Debjyoti Bhattacharya. Amit Debnath is the translator. - [Pre-booking link](https://joydhakbooks.in/product/aloaandharerupakhyan/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Goodreads Listing](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/178400555?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ### Join Dale and I for a live Q&A on Instagram URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/join-dale-and-i-for-a-live-q-a/ Last updated: 2026-07-22T14:18:07.000Z Hi loves! Just popping you a quick note to say that if you're dying to ask Dale Halvorsen and I some questions about *Girls of Little Hope*, join us on Instagram Wednesday 12 July at 6pm BST/7pm SAST. We'll be sharing some of our favourite stories about the writing process, revealing the real-life inspirations for Little Hope, and telling you about the special necklace talisman some friends made for us to help us through the writing process (and how its creation involved CRIME). It's your chance to ask us anything you like, and just hang out with the two of us chatting about our twisted little book. Hope to see some of you there! xx Sam ### The concise guide to moving to the UK 🇬🇧 URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/announcing-moving-to-the-uk/ Last updated: 2023-07-06T07:00:09.000Z Hello loves! Picture me, **January 2020**. I’m standing at the self-service checkout till in a Tesco, wrapped in a coat that is designed for people hiking to the North Pole. I’m still cold. But the bigger problem is the queue of angry people behind me, growing longer by the minute. I am silently pleading with the self-service checkout robot to allow me to pay for a packet of McVitie’s dark chocolate digestive biscuits. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/image-34.png) The famous Arctic coat I have been in the UK for one week. I am tired and lonely and cold, and this packet of chocolate digestive biscuits feels like the last thing anchoring me to sanity. But the self-service checkout robot will not allow me to buy this packet of digestive biscuits. It scolds me in a smooth, recorded woman’s voice. ‘Unexpected item in the bagging area.’ I try rescanning the biscuits and putting them back on the scale. ‘Please remove last item,’ says the robot. The queue of angry people is growing longer by the minute. There is only one working self-service checkout machine, and the clerk is AWOL. The woman in the front of the queue exhales loudly through her nose. An audible exhale is British for ‘I wish great harm to you and every person you’ve ever met’. I remove the biscuits to rescan them. Now the voice says, ‘Item removed from bagging area. Return item to bagging area before continuing.’ A child of nine, who no doubt has been confidently scanning his groceries for years, rolls his eyes at me. An actual eye-roll is British for ‘you are the worst person who has ever existed on this or any planet, and I hope your face is slowly eaten off by leeches’. I put the biscuits back on the scale. The recorded voice echoes through the store. ‘Unexpected item in the bagging area.’ So much scorn is being projected in my direction from two dozen queuing Brits that I’m in danger of being boiled alive in my skin. I think, *Well, at least I’ll die warm*. A clerk finally comes to my rescue, waving a magic tag thingy to shut up the robot voice and force it to accept my biscuits. ‘You’ve got to make sure it’s scanned before you put it in the bagging area,’ he tells me, in the same voice you’d use to tell toddlers you have to put your pants on before your shoes. I nod, shamefaced, as the clerk vanishes back into the depths of the store, leaving me with my nightmare audience of angry queuing British people all wishing me various painful deaths. But I am so close to success (i.e. sitting on my couch, plugging my loneliness with chocolate biscuits). All I need to do now is pay. I pull out my bank card. I tap it on the unfamiliar card reader. It doesn’t respond, but I feel my phone buzz in my pocket, which must be the transaction going through. Victory! I pick up my biscuits and turn to leave, triumphant in my hour of courage. The recorded voice rings out through the store. ‘Item removed from bagging area. Return item to bagging area before continuing.’ The entire queue groans. I abandon the biscuits on the shelf and run home. A week ago, I was a competent thirty-something-year-old adult who basically had her shit together. Today, I’m the person having a meltdown in a Tesco because I can’t figure out how to buy a packet of chocolate digestive biscuits. This is what it is like to move to a new country: it means starting from scratch, completely. It means having to relearn how to see a doctor, how to make friends, how to pay your taxes, how to be polite, how to go to a restaurant, how to buy biscuits. It’s exhausting. It’s heartbreaking. It’s expensive as heck. It’s also one of the best things I’ve ever done. But back then, returning to my sad, cold, biscuitless flat, I was starting to wonder if moving to England was all a huge mistake. *At least the hardest part is over*, I reassured myself. The universe laughed at me. It was January 2020\. --- If you're a regular reader of this newsletter, you know that my partner, my cat and I moved to the UK three-and-a-half years ago. I’ve helped a dozen friends to make the same move since then and I can tell you with certainty: **moving countries is bloody hard**, and there’s no guidebook. But there should be! So (with your help) I wrote one. And it's going to be on your shelves on **24 August.** ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/e6f073ca-24c9-4dfa-8c72-7b79781bda98-1.jpg) Isn't she lovely? The cover was designed by the wonderful Sean Robertson, and I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear that inside, you'll find some charming illustrations by artstronaut Nanna Venter. *[Moving to the UK: A Concise Guide for South Africans](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/moving-to-the-uk-a-concise-guide-for-south-africans/)* will take you through the whole process of disassembling your life in South Africa and moving to the UK. Inside, you'll find helpful tips, funny anecdotes and to-do lists to keep you on track. This guide covers everything from discussing whether moving is the right choice for you, to the practicalities of finding a job and a visa, to the cultural quirks of British life (yes, they really are obsessed with tea), equipping you with everything you need to know about fitting in on this weird, adorable island. No one should have to do this alone, so I’m also inviting people to join **The Newcomers’ Club**, an online community of brave souls who’ve also taken the plunge and moved across the world. There, you’ll be able to download resources, share tips and commiserate with other Saffas about how much you miss Wacky Wednesdays. And you can join the club right now! [Join the club](https://community.newcomers-club.com/join?invitation%5Ftoken=e237f2f5562451797f099451ce23eb1932e737d2-3a4866d8-0590-4a6c-bdc1-710eaea95a9c&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) You're the first people I'm inviting, so there's not a lot of chatter over there just yet, but feel free to start a conversation and ask any questions you have about moving, to kick things off. *The book is specifically written for South Africans, but the Newcomer's Club is for anyone who's moved to the UK. Please do share this invite with whoever you think might find it useful.* If you're one of the total lunatics who's considered moving to the UK, I'm looking forward to seeing you on the Newcomer's Club! *[Moving to the UK: A Concise Guide for South Africans](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/moving-to-the-uk-a-concise-guide-for-south-africans/)* will be out on 24 August. --- Wishing you tweed, tabloids and tea, Sam ### Even more Girls of Little Hope goodies for ya 😱 URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/even-more-golh-goodies/ Last updated: 2023-08-31T09:19:01.000Z Hello loves! Possibly the most magical thing about having set *[Girls of Little Hope](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/girls-of-little-hope/)* loose in the world has been seeing people start to **make their own things** inspired by it. We got our first bit of fan art, and my whole heart melted with joy! Next week, I'm going to be telling you about a new nonfiction book I'm releasing in August (phew, it's been busy over here in Samland), but in the meantime, here are four more *Girls of Little Hope* related goodies for you. ## 1\. The GOLH origin story Dale Halvorsen and I were honoured to be asked to contribute a "Jacket Notes" column in *[Sunday Times](https://www.timeslive.co.za/sunday-times/books/2023-06-25-jacket-notes--in-friendship-theres-hope/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, talking about the book's supervillain origin story, what it was like writing a novel together (bonkers fun), and about the themes threaded through the story. > Writing this novel together felt like making a book-length zine. An idea triggered by a mash-up of a disturbing scene in a cult 1970s sci-fi film and a fascination with true-crime mysteries mutated and grew over the years like something out of John Carpenter’s *The Thing.* It was a long-term game of make-believe that spanned years, countries (Sam moved to the UK), personal epiphanies (Dale was diagnosed as autistic), a pandemic, break-ups, crises and a great deal of karaoke. [You can read the whole article over here.](https://www.timeslive.co.za/sunday-times/books/2023-06-25-jacket-notes--in-friendship-theres-hope/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## 2\. What to READ next if you enjoyed GOLH Already finished *Girls of Little Hope*, and looking for your next read? I've [put together a list of ten books](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/10-books-like-girls-of-little-hope/) which have similar themes and nostalgia-horror-friendship vibes (warning, spoilers!). Oh, and if you have finished the book, we'd so appreciate an honest review on [Amazon](https://boox.link/go/1803362073?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Goodreads](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/62825562-girls-of-little-hope?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or [Storygraph](https://app.thestorygraph.com/books/c5547603-519e-4241-9917-bad0eeeba359?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- thank you! ## 3\. What to WATCH next if you enjoyed GOLH ... and if you're more of a cinephile than a bibliophile, Dale has a brilliant list of [10 genre-bending 90s horror movies to watch](https://www.dalehalvorsen.com/services-7?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) which have overlaps with our novel. HERE BE SPOILERS, so don't read this list until you've finished the book. ## 4\. 1996 search engines Dale and I collected a trove of 1996 research material while writing this book. One of the most charming collections we now have is 1996 internet screenshots. Take 1996 search engines. I remember thinking that AskJeeves was the coolest website on earth, and when I was reminded what other search engines looked like back then, I understood why. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/image-29.png) AskJeeves, where your personal Internet butler went to fetch cat pictures FOR you. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/yahoo.jpeg) Exhibit A, Yahoo! I love that the first link is for the Yellow Pages. Actual human people used to compile Yahoo!'s database by visiting all the websites and manually sorting them into categories. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/excite.jpeg) Exibit B, Excite, where you had to specify that you wanted to search the World Wide Web, and the top links were to Dr Ruth and X-Files fan-boards. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/Google.jpeg) Google, which was still just a Stanford research project back in 1996\. Thank goodness they eventually hired some designers to fix that logo. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/netscape.jpeg) My only question for NetSearch is... WHAT IS IN THE iZONE?? And, if you didn't want to search the World Wide Web, you could chat to creepy strangers around the world using the coolest tech ever, IRC. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/image-30.png) When we were like 12 or 13, my friend Cherise and I used to go on IRC chatrooms pretending to be a pair of 16-year-old blonde twins named Jessica and Elizabeth to try to catfish older men, and none of them ever picked up on the Sweet Valley High reference. You will be pleased to hear that we never A. successfully defrauded anyone nor B. were murdered. Or, if you were extra creative and internet-savvy, you could build your very own home page online using Geocities. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/image-32.png) Essential Geocities design elements: a broken image, HTML tables as layout, overpowering pattern background. Throw some rainbow crawl text and an animated dancing cartoon animal in here and you've got Geocities design bingo. It's enough to make you want to go and hug TikTok and tell it you love it. --- If you spot *Girls of Little Hope* out in the wild, please do send me a photo! I'd love to see it. Wishing you your very own internet butler, Sam ### What the heck is a zine, anyway? URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/what-are-zines/ Last updated: 2023-06-22T14:22:46.000Z Hello loves! You might have heard me babbling on about how *Girls of Little Hope* pays homage to 1990s Riot Grrrls and zine culture, but what the heck are zines exactly? Simply: zines are small, independent mixed-media magazines, usually created by one passionate person or a tiny group of people, and typically reproduced using such high-tech tools as glue, Sharpies and school photocopy machines. They often have a teeny print run, like fewer than 100 copies, so they're like little Easter Eggs hiding in the world waiting to be discovered. Because anyone can make one, zines have always been inherently countercultural; a way for people who's voices have been silenced to distribute dissident ideas. In a way, you could say that zines have existed since the printing press. In 1517 [Martin Luther was going around distributing radical pamphlets](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ninety-five%5FTheses?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about the corruption of society in his day, leading to a full peasant's revolt in the 1520s. And subversive pamphleteering has been a feature of every major revolution since then, from Haiti to France to China. Pamphleteering has also played a key role in social activism: from early gay rights activists like Karl Heinrich Ulrichs to feminist movements and abolitionists, independent publishing has always played a key role in sharing ideas that were too radical to be published by mainstream press. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/image-25.png) Martin Luther, the OG zinester ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/Toussaint-Louverture-Haitian-1805.webp) Toussaint Louverture, holding one of the pamphlets that helped spark the Haitian revolution Back in the day, during the Harlem Renaissance and the anti-Apartheid movement in South Africa, independent literary magazines of Black culture were a lifeline for spreading truth when the state was busy censoring and banning anything remotely subversive. Brave activists risked it all to found their own alternative presses, risking jail time, exile, or worse. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/fire--.jpeg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/staffrider.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/speak-.jpeg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/speak_women-s-charter.gif) Speak, Fire, and Staffrider, three essential magazines of Black culture from the 20th century The word "zine" was first used in the 1930s to describe sci-fi fanzines like *The Comet*. These were amateur magazines where sci-fi enthusiasts shared letters geeking out about their favourite stories, and later started publishing their original fiction. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/thecomet.jpeg) The Comet: the first major "fanzine" Fun fact: Superman himself made his debut in a fanzine in 1932. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/superman.jpeg) Additional fun fact: Superman was first introduced as a baddie. By the 1970s, a lot of fanzine content was fanfiction (specifically Kirk/Spock slashfic written almost exclusively by and for women, which is a whole fascinating tangent by itself...). Zines were like an early version of [Wattpad](https://www.wattpad.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/spocknalia.jpeg) And there were fanzines for other subcultures, particularly punk in the 1970s. Punk was all about anti-authoritarianism, anti-commercialism and the DIY aesthetic... so zines and punk were a match made in anarchy heaven. The [DC Punk Archive zine library](https://digdc.dclibrary.org/islandora/object/dcplislandora%3A38043?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) online is an absolute goldmine for diving into punk zine history, if you're so inclined. ![Punk zines from the 1970s](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/image-26.png) In many ways, **90's zine culture** emerged as a direct reaction to the sexism, violence, racism and homophobia that defined a lot of 70's and 80's punk. The first Riot Grrrl meeting took place in 1991 to call out the sexism in their local punk scenes around the United States. Zines became their megaphones, with fierce women the sharing feminist ideas and art that was coming out of the Pacific Northwest underground music scenes. Out of this movement came bands like Bikini Kill and Sleater Kinney and Sista Grrrl, inspiring young women to speak up and start their own bands, make their own art and build communities of support. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/1991-manifesto.jpeg) The Riot Grrrl manifesto from 1991 This was all was intertwined with the Queercore movement, which also grew out of punk in the 80's, but explicitly celebrating queer joy and gender anarchy. There's an incredible library of Queercore zines online at the [Queer Zine Archive Project](https://gittings.qzap.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). The necessity of radical publishing like this becomes extra clear when you look at what mainstream women's magazines looked like at the time. I give you exhibit E ("E" for "eww"): ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/image-21.png) Women's World in 1993, a full bingo card of 90s shittiness You can put anything in a zine. Flip through those 90's zines and you'll find song lyrics, poetry, porn, cartoons, interviews with musicians, incredibly personal stories, book suggestions, activism, art, information about real-world events and marches. You'll find anger and you'll find jokes. You'll find teenagers whining about school and questioning their sexuality. You'll find people reaching out to strangers, finding connection over shared experiences. Basically, zines were what we had before we had social media. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/jds.jpeg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/gunk.jpeg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/homocore.jpeg) Pages from Gunk and Homocore, two of the most influential zines from the 90s But it's not like people stopped making zines when we all got sucked into the internet. In a world saturated with digital noise, zines remain raw and tangible. They rely on serendipity for you to find them, rather than an algorithm. There are so many incredible zine-makers working around the world today. Look out for them in your local indie bookstore or radical meetup space. And hey, why not try making one of your own? You'll be joining a long legacy of misfits and weirdos and dissidents telling their stories on their own terms. Wishing you courage to riot, Sam ### Cape Town launch - Girls of Little Hope URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/cape-town-launch-girls-of-little-hope/ Last updated: 2026-07-22T14:14:49.000Z South Africans: Dale is going to be chatting to our dear friend Mohale Mashigo about *Girls of Little Hope* at **the Book Lounge on 6 July**, and you're all invited! I'm gutted that I can't be there, but it's going to be a wonderful night. Expect surprise giveaways, funny anecdotes and signed books. The details are: - **Date:** Thurday 6 July - **Time:** 17:30 for 18:00 - **Venue**: The Book Lounge, 71 Roeland Street, Cape Town - **RSVP**: booklounge@gmail.com or 021 462 2425 [RSVP to the launch](https://www.facebook.com/events/276792461437021) We'll also be selling these t-shirts that Dale designed (is Dale not the best?) to raise money for [Autism Western Cape](https://www.autismwesterncape.org.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). The Nancy Screws are a fictional band from the book :) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/image-23.png) ### Moving to the UK: A Concise Guide for South Africans URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/moving-to-the-uk-a-concise-guide-for-south-africans/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T11:37:47.000Z Thinking of moving to the UK but don't know where to start? Overwhelmed by the information coming at you after a Google search? Baffled by visa requirements? Worried about how your kids and your beloved pet iguana would handle it? Fear not! Written by a seasoned mover who's been there, done that and even brought back the tea towel, Sam Beckbessinger will hold your hand in this end-to-end guide to moving from South Africa to the land of tabloid, tweed and terrible weather. Inside, you'll find helpful tips, funny anecdotes and to-do lists to keep you on track. This guide covers everything from the practicalities of finding a job to the cultural quirks of British life (yes, they really are obsessed with tea), equipping you with everything you need to know about fitting in on this weird, adorable island. > "The totally vital everything-guide I wish I'd had. I'm so grateful to have been one of the test subjects for this book, and that all Sam's thoughtful advice, tips, tricks, spreadsheets and honestly terrible jokes are now available to everyone..." - Lauren Beukes ## Buy the book [Buy the book](https://bookb.ee/go/B0CNQ5YWZK?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) #### Buy the book in the UK - [Amazon.co.uk](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Moving-UK-Concise-Guide-Africans/dp/B0CNQ5YWZK/ref=sr%5F1%5F1?crid=32140H936BEKE&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.f0nTPNzLflREckC0kpprPOC3ku420pBfFZnZDMpymU7GjHj071QN20LucGBJIEps.k0S9mqsOYyZt9da4yZkTazp7lWC2LVzHQQ1hJTTH5SQ&dib%5Ftag=se&keywords=beckbessinger+moving+to+the+uk&qid=1718718062&sprefix=beckbessinger+moving+to+the+uk%2Caps%2C72&sr=8-1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- paperback edition - [Amazon.co.uk](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Moving-UK-Concise-Guide-Africans-ebook/dp/B0CG6VCB9S/ref=tmm%5Fkin%5Fswatch%5F0?%5Fencoding=UTF8&dib%5Ftag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.f0nTPNzLflREckC0kpprPOC3ku420pBfFZnZDMpymU7GjHj071QN20LucGBJIEps.k0S9mqsOYyZt9da4yZkTazp7lWC2LVzHQQ1hJTTH5SQ&qid=1718718062&sr=8-1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- Kindle edition #### Buy the book in South Africa - [Exclusive Books](https://exclusivebooks.co.za/products/9781776192823?%5Fpos=1&%5Fsid=4585dce09&%5Fss=r&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Takealot](https://www.takealot.com/moving-to-the-uk/PLID93446750?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## Join the Newcomer's Club! The Newcomer's Club is an online community of brave souls who are planning a move to the UK. Whether you're pondering the idea, knee-deep in visa applications, or fresh off the plane, our community is here to share knowledge, offer advice, cheer you on, and lend an empathetic ear when you need it most. [Join the club](https://www.newcomers-club.com/free-resources?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## What's inside the book? ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/image-17.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/image-18.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/image-19.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/image-20.png) ## Useful resources Head over to the [Newcomer's Club for a stack of useful resources like](https://community.newcomers-club.com/c/resources/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): - A guide to how to start cycling or driving in the UK - Recommended pet transportation companies, emigration agencies, tax consultants and other service providers - Sample moving budgets And lots more. ### 10 books like Girls of Little Hope URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/10-books-like-girls-of-little-hope/ Last updated: 2023-06-13T07:12:49.000Z Loved *[Girls of Little Hope](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/girls-of-little-hope/)* and looking for your next read? Here are ten books which have similar themes and nostalgia-horror-friendship vibes. *Pssst... UK readers, it's easier to view this list on [Bookshop.org](https://uk.bookshop.org/lists/10-books-to-read-if-you-liked-girls-of-little-hope?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* ## *My Best Friend's Exorcism* \- Grady Hendrix ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/image-11.png) *The year is 1988\. High school sophomores Abby and Gretchen have been best friends since fourth grade. But after an evening of skinny-dipping goes disastrously wrong, Gretchen begins to act ... different. She's moody. She's irritable. And bizarre incidents keep happening whenever she's nearby.* *Abby's investigation leads her to some startling discoveries — and by the time their story reaches its terrifying conclusion, the fate of Abby and Gretchen will be determined by a single question: Is their friendship powerful enough to beat the devil?* One of my favourite novels of all time. It's a gory and hilarious funfair ride of an 80s-flavoured horror novel, but what sets it apart is how lovingly and accurately Grady Hendrix depicts the intensity of teenage friendship. Fun detail: I read this book just after finishing the first draft of *Girls of Little Hope*, and altered the ending of my book because of the ending of this one... *[My Best Friend's Exorcism](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41015038-my-best-friend-s-exorcism?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=pPvREbUsjI&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* ## *My Heart is a Chainsaw* \- Stephen Graham Jones ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/image-3.png) *Jade Daniels is an angry, half-Indian outcast with an abusive father, an absent mother, and an entire town that wants nothing to do with her. She lives in her own world, a world in which protection comes from an unusual source: horror movies…especially the ones where a masked killer seeks revenge on a world that wronged them. And Jade narrates the quirky history of Proofrock as if it is one of those movies. But when blood actually starts to spill into the waters of Indian Lake, she pulls us into her dizzying, encyclopedic mind of blood and masked murderers, and predicts exactly how the plot will unfold.* *Yet, even as Jade drags us into her dark fever dream, a surprising and intimate portrait emerges… a portrait of the scared and traumatized little girl beneath the Jason Voorhees mask: angry, yes, but also a girl who easily cries, fiercely loves, and desperately wants a home. A girl whose feelings are too big for her body.* My Heart Is a Chainsaw *is her story, her homage to horror and revenge and triumph.* An unforgettably spiky hero, a claustrophobic small town, and a mystery that unfurls into devastating horror. The plot gets more and more outrageous, in the best way. *[My Heart is a Chainsaw](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/55711617-my-heart-is-a-chainsaw?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=77tGlaRQvm&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* ## *Paper Girls* \- Brian K. Vaughan ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/image-2.png) *In the early hours after Halloween of 1988, four 12-year-old newspaper delivery girls uncover the most important story of all time. Suburban drama and otherworldly mysteries collide in this smash-hit series about nostalgia, first jobs, and the last days of childhood.* You've got similarly rebellious teens trying to figure out who they are in this late-80s-nostalgia-meets-supernatural-mystery comic series. Less gory than many of the other suggestions on this list. *[Paper Girls](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/28204534-paper-girls-volume-1?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=2lcCqm5qpj&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* ## *Broken Monsters* \- Lauren Beukes ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/image-5.png) *Detective Gabriella Versado has seen a lot of bodies, but this one is unique even by Detroit's standards: half boy, half deer, somehow fused together. As stranger and more disturbing bodies are discovered, how can the city hold on to a reality that is already tearing at its seams? If you're Detective Versado's geeky teenage daughter, Layla, you commence a dangerous flirtation with a potential predator online. If you're desperate freelance journalist Jonno, you do whatever it takes to get the exclusive on a horrific story. If you're Thomas Keen, known on the street as TK, you'll do what you can to keep your homeless family safe--and find the monster who is possessed by the dream of violently remaking the world.* If your favourite part of *Girls of Little Hope* was the relationship between Kat and Marybeth, try *Broken Monsters*: a horror masterpiece with another complicated mother-daughter relationship at its heart. *[Broken Monsters](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20706269-broken-monsters?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* ## What Moves the Dead - T. Kingfisher ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/image-6.png) *When Alex Easton, a retired soldier, receives word that their childhood friend Madeline Usher is dying, they race to the ancestral home of the Ushers in the remote countryside of Ruravia.* *What they find there is a nightmare of fungal growths and possessed wildlife, surrounding a dark, pulsing lake. Madeline sleepwalks and speaks in strange voices at night, and her brother Roderick is consumed with a mysterious malady of the nerves.* *Aided by a redoubtable British mycologist and a baffled American doctor, Alex must unravel the secret of the House of Usher before it consumes them all.* A retelling of Edgar Allen Poe's *The Fall at the House of Usher*, this eerie Gothic tale features mycological horror, eccentric characters, and slow-creeping dread. *[What Moves the Dead](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58724626-what-moves-the-dead?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=dlhJkdcs5d&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* ## *Cuckoo Song* \- Frances Hardinge ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/image-7.png) *When Triss wakes up after an accident, she knows that something is very wrong. She is insatiably hungry; she keeps waking up with leaves in her hair, and her sister seems terrified of her. When it all gets too much and she starts to cry, her tears are like cobwebs...* *Soon Triss discovers that what happened to her is more strange and terrible than she could ever have imagined, and that she is quite literally not herself. In a quest find the truth she must travel into the terrifying Underbelly of the city to meet a twisted architect who has dark designs on her family - before it's too late...* A book that explores similar themes to *Girls of Little Hope*, but with a younger protagonist, *Cuckoo Song* has the feel of a twisted fairytale. It's creepy rather than gory, and is sometimes positioned as a Middle Grade / Young Adult novel, but it's still one of the scariest books on this list. *[Cuckoo Song](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23344750-cuckoo-song?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* ## *Wilder Girls* \- Rory Power ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/image-8.png) *It's been eighteen months since the Raxter School for Girls was put under quarantine. Since the Tox hit and pulled Hetty's life out from under her.* *It started slow. First the teachers died one by one. Then it began to infect the students, turning their bodies strange and foreign. Now, cut off from the rest of the world and left to fend for themselves on their island home, the girls don't dare wander outside the school's fence, where the Tox has made the woods wild and dangerous. They wait for the cure they were promised as the Tox seeps into everything.* *But when Byatt goes missing, Hetty will do anything to find her, even if it means breaking quarantine and braving the horrors that lie beyond the fence. And when she does, Hetty learns that there's more to their story, to their life at Raxter, than she could have ever thought true.* Feminist body horror, complex queer independent teenage protagonists, and a chunky mystery. A great pick for young adult readers. *[Wilder Girls](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/42505366-wilder-girls?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=B3euWimZTN&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* ## *The Last House on Needless Street* \- Catriona Ward ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/image-9.png) *This is the story of a serial killer. A stolen child. Revenge. Death. And an ordinary house at the end of an ordinary street.* *All these things are true. And yet they are all lies...* *You think you know what's inside the last house on Needless Street. You think you've read this story before. That's where you're wrong.* *In the dark forest at the end of Needless Street, lies something buried. But it's not what you think...* A genre-blending mindfuck of a horror novel which keeps surprising you. *[The Last House on Needless Street](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/54621094-the-last-house-on-needless-street?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=1lsQ9FVn8O&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* ## *Meddling Kids* \- Edgar Cantero ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/image-10.png) *1990\. The teen detectives once known as the Blyton Summer Detective Club (of Blyton Hills, a small mining town in the Zoinx River Valley in Oregon) are all grown up and haven't seen each other since their fateful, final case in 1977\. Andy, the tomboy, is twenty-five and on the run, wanted in at least two states. Kerri, one-time kid genius and budding biologist, is bartending in New York, working on a serious drinking problem. At least she's got Tim, an excitable Weimaraner descended from the original canine member of the team. Nate, the horror nerd, has spent the last thirteen years in and out of mental health institutions, and currently resides in an asylum in Arkham, Massachusetts. The only friend he still sees is Peter, the handsome jock turned movie star. The problem is, Peter's been dead for years.* *The time has come to uncover the source of their nightmares and return to where it all began in 1977\. This time, it better not be a man in a mask. The real monsters are waiting.* An action-packed riff on Scooby Doo, Nancy Drew and other teen detective stories you loved as a kid. *[Meddling Kids](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/32905343-meddling-kids?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=BqIvzG4JMg&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* ## *The Outsider* \- Stephen King ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/06/image-1.png) *An eleven-year-old boy’s violated corpse is found in a town park. Eyewitnesses and fingerprints point unmistakably to one of Flint City’s most popular citizens. He is Terry Maitland, Little League coach, English teacher, husband, and father of two girls. Detective Ralph Anderson, whose son Maitland once coached, orders a quick and very public arrest. Maitland has an alibi, but Anderson and the district attorney soon add DNA evidence to go with the fingerprints and witnesses. Their case seems ironclad.* *As the investigation expands and horrifying answers begin to emerge, King’s propulsive story kicks into high gear, generating strong tension and almost unbearable suspense. Terry Maitland seems like a nice guy, but is he wearing another face? When the answer comes, it will shock you as only Stephen King can.* While Donna, Kat and Rae's friendship might remind you of the Loser's Club from *IT*, you'll find deeper similarities in this tale of small-town paranoia and a murder investigation which spirals deeper and deeper into the uncanny. *[The Outsider](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/36124936-the-outsider?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F2%5F12)* ### Girls of Little Hope launch day URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/girls-of-little-hope-launch-day/ Last updated: 2023-06-13T06:44:36.000Z Hello loves :) 🎺 DUM-DA-DA-DUUUUM! 🎺 *Girls of Little Hope* is officially on sale **today!** You should be able to find it at your local bookshop, or at any one of these [fine online establishments](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/girls-of-little-hope/). I can't wait for you all to read it. Please do note that it's a horror story, so it does contain a fair amount of gore and violence. If there are specific topics that might be unhealthy for you to read about, please do [check the content warnings](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/girls-of-little-hope/#content-warnings) first. Today, let me just say how grateful I am to all of you. Even though I've never met most of you and experience you only as numbers in my email newsletter software, knowing that you're out there is what gives me courage to continue writing on the days when it's hard (which is most days). Your support allows me to wake up every day and do what I love. The words "thank you" are not enough. But, thank you. ❤️ ## Listen to chapter one Can't wait to buy the book? [Here's me reading chapter one.](https://www.tiktok.com/@sambeckbessinger/video/7244043861624933659?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) > [@sambeckbessinger](https://www.tiktok.com/@sambeckbessinger?refer=embed&ref=sambeckbessinger.com "@sambeckbessinger") To celebrate the launch day of Girls of Little Hope, here’s me reading chapter 1! The book is available at all good bookshops. Skip if you will be triggered by mentions of sexual violence. [#girlsoflittlehope](https://www.tiktok.com/tag/girlsoflittlehope?refer=embed&ref=sambeckbessinger.com "girlsoflittlehope") [#booktok](https://www.tiktok.com/tag/booktok?refer=embed&ref=sambeckbessinger.com "booktok") [#readaloud](https://www.tiktok.com/tag/readaloud?refer=embed&ref=sambeckbessinger.com "readaloud") [♬ original sound - Sam Beckbessinger](https://www.tiktok.com/music/original-sound-7244043758319291162?refer=embed&ref=sambeckbessinger.com "♬ original sound - Sam Beckbessinger") Head over to [my TikTok](https://www.tiktok.com/@sambeckbessinger?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for the rest of the chapter. ## Things that will be very helpful today If you're able to help me get the word out (THANK YOU!), any of these actions would be very helpful today: - **[Buy the book](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/girls-of-little-hope/#buy-the-book)**. Any bookshop is good! I encourage you to support your local indie. - **Review the book** on [Amazon](https://boox.link/go/1803362073?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Goodreads](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/62825562-girls-of-little-hope?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or [Storygraph](https://app.thestorygraph.com/books/c5547603-519e-4241-9917-bad0eeeba359?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (you can be honest, I won't take it personally) - **Message any buddies** who you think might enjoy the book to let them know about it. If they're into horror novels, 90s riot grrrl punk, uncanny mysteries... they'll be into this! - **Post** on your social media platform of choice. [Here's some suggested text](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/help-launch-girls-of-little-hope/) if you're not sure what to say. Ideally, the goal is to get as many sales **this week** as possible, because that's how the book makes it on to bestseller lists (which, in turn, really helps future sales). One last little request: if you spot the book in the wild, **please would you take a photo** and send it to me? I'm so hyped about seeing it on bookshelves. > *"Girls of Little Hope is an absolute gem: vivid, vibrant, convincing and captivating. It’s as wonderful, horrifying, and emotionally gripping as being a teenager." - [Sam Wilson](https://www.samwilsonwriting.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* Mostly, I'm just so excited that - after all this time - I finally get to share this gift with the people I made it for: all of you. I feel like a kid who spent three years making an intricate piece of macaroni art and now I finally get to give it to my mum. You're all my mum, in this scenario. Love Sam ### 5 day countdown... URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/five-day-countdown/ Last updated: 2023-08-31T09:20:53.000Z Hello loves 💛 So, my debut novel *[Girls of Little Hope](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/girls-of-little-hope/)* (with [Dale Halvorsen](https://www.dalehalvorsen.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)) comes out in 5 days. COOL COOL COOL. I'm SUPER relaxed about this. NO HYPERVENTILATING PANIC HERE, NO SIREE. In fact, I've been so zen and not-at-all-anxious that I decided to go and hide out on a boat in the middle of the Pacific Ocean for two weeks without Internet access. You know, entirely chill adult behaviour. > [ View this post on Instagram ](https://www.instagram.com/reel/CtB1R9nKDoF/?utm%5Fsource=ig%5Fembed&utm%5Fcampaign=loading) > > [A post shared by Sam Beckbessinger (@sambeckbessinger)](https://www.instagram.com/reel/CtB1R9nKDoF/?utm%5Fsource=ig%5Fembed&utm%5Fcampaign=loading) But I got back to discover that the book reviewers and early readers have started saying things about the book. And they're very nice things! *"Sharp as a DIY-piercing, with a fierce punk heart - I loved the hell out of this"* \- [Lauren Beukes](https://laurenbeukes.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) *"A riot (grrl) from start to finish, GIRLS OF LITTLE HOPE is the creepy 1980s true-crime-meets-STRANGER THINGS book of your dreams. Beckbessinger and Halvorsen have a deft way with character, and all their protagonists stay heart-achingly relatable right up to the gruesome I-can't-believe-they-went-there climax. A real joy of a story."* \- [Ally Wilkes](https://www.allywilkes.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) *“A dark, strange, and joyful book about sticking by your best friends in the face of a monstrous world.” - [Sam Humphries](https://www.samhumphries.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* *“Girls of Little Hope is a tremendously confident, thrilling debut… I stayed up all night to finish it” - [Alex de Campi](https://www.alexdecampi.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* *“Funny, uncanny, rich with dark nostalgia. Girls of Little Hope lures you deep into the woods, switching up the trail of breadcrumbs so you never quite know if you're getting closer to safety, or nearer to the truth. A comfortingly creepy reminder that friendships are the greatest adventure, and that we're never in this alone.” – [Dr Nechama Brodie](https://nechamabrodie.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* *“Twisty and clever, it grips you from the first page and doesn't let you go. This book kept me up at night, for all the right reasons.” - [Jen Thorpe](https://jen-thorpe.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* I could cry! ### London launch party 🍾 **Londoners,** I'm throwing a launch party in Hackney on 15 June. I'd *love* to have some of you there to help me celebrate. I'll be signing books, doing a Q&A with the magical Lauren Beukes, and showing you cringey photos of myself as a teenager. There are only 10 spots left, and it's first come, first served. **[Get in touch](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/contact/)** if you'd like to claim one of the spots (you're welcome to bring a +1). Can't wait to see you there! ### South African pre-orders 📚 Saffas, good news! We've managed to set up pre-order links at Loot and Wordsworth Books. - [Loot](https://www.loot.co.za/product/girls-of-little-hope/rcbb-7534-g520?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Wordsworth](https://www.wordsworth.co.za/products/girls-of-little-hope-paperback?%5Fpos=1&%5Fsid=ec1c679b3&%5Fss=r&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) I've heard that SA Kindle readers are still having inconsistent results [pre-ordering the book on Amazon](https://www.amazon.com/Girls-Little-Hope-Dale-Halvorsen-ebook/dp/B0BFZXJYB7/ref=sr%5F1%5F1?crid=12V2QKV9W2D45&keywords=girls+of+little+hope&qid=1686223505&sprefix=girls+of+little+hop%2Caps%2C179&sr=8-1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), sorry about that. The book should be available through all other bookshops from **next week**. So many of you have already messaged to ask [how you can help promote the book launch](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/help-launch-girls-of-little-hope/), and I appreciate that more than I can tell you. I am beaming enormous (entirely nonpanicked) hugs to every one of you, individually! Sam ### On being a better host 👯‍♂️ URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/on-being-a-better-host/ Last updated: 2023-05-18T13:54:16.000Z Hello loves :) Look at this very extremely thrilling thing [I got in the mail yesterday](https://www.instagram.com/p/CsYT0fnqj%5Fz/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)! *Girls of Little Hope* comes out on **13 June.** If you're able to help me by spreading the word that week, or by pre-ordering the book, I'd be so grateful. [All the details are here.](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/help-launch-girls-of-little-hope/) We've been getting some lovely reviews in from early readers. [Charlie Human](https://twitter.com/charliehuman?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) said it's *“A perfect blend of small-town angst and creeping horror that hits on a cellular level. Irreplaceable friendships meet unstoppable forces in a brilliant novel that gives you a hug but then gets its hooks into you. A dark shard of genius from two uniquely-talented minds.”* In the meantime, here are five things that have been occupying my mind while I count the days! ![Beef a Netflix series](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/05/image-1.png) ## 1\. Beef As someone who considers herself deeply emotionally repressed, I'm loving that we're having a moment for stories about **rage**. People who have hit the limits of compassion, of rationality, of doing all the healthy emotional work, of the healing power of forgiveness ... and *are just losing their shit.* Maybe it's something about the simultaneous systemic fuckedness of the world right now; and the medicalised individualised syrupy self-helpyness of so much mental health content on the Internet which implies that people are only ever anxious and depressed because they have faulty personalities, not because the world can be quite an anxiety-inducing and depressing place. Whatever the cause, rage stories seem to be just what we need right now. So, please can I direct your attention to the utterly brilliant new Netflix/A24 show *[Beef](https://www.netflix.com/title/81447461?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, about a road-rage incident which turns two strangers into enemies, spiralling into a vicious vendetta that rips both their lives apart. It's a showcase of Asian-American talent at every level of the production, from showrunner Lee Sung Jin's superb dialogue to Ali Wong and Steven Yeun's masterclass lead performances, to details like the [original art by David Choe](https://davidchoe.com/search-archive?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) used as title cards. ![Artwork showing human bodies intertwined with the words, "I am a cage"](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/05/image-2.png) Seneca said that anger "is above all other \[emotions\] hideous and wild, raging with an utterly inhuman lust for arms, blood and tortures... Anger \[is\] a short madness: for it is equally devoid of self-control ... forgetful of kinship." But what *Beef* really understands is how close hate is to obsession, to passion. How energising it can be. Ali Wong's lifestyle entrepreneur Amy and Steven Yeun's out-of-luck handyman named Danny become mirrors for each other, masks they project all of their own failures and frustrations onto. Their series of escalating revenges are destructive and self-destructive, but also erotic, also liberating, also - ultimately - cathartic. Shoowee, it's the best show I've watched in ages. ## 2\. Hard versus soft sci-fi I was recently discussing the difference between hard and soft sci-fi with one of my creative writing students (hard sci-fi strives for scientific accuracy, rational explanations and plausibility; soft sci-fi allows for stuff to just be fantastical). This led me to digging up my favourite example of this from all of children's fiction, from the start of Roald Dahl's *[Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6687.Charlie%5Fand%5Fthe%5FGreat%5FGlass%5FElevator?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=VRwKjLHJLT&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* (the much weirder sequel to *Charlie and the Chocolate Factory*). ![The book cover of Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/05/image-4.png) The great glass elevator, a totally normal form of air travel. When our heroes find themselves in a great glass elevator soaring into the air like a rocketship, Grandma Josephine asks how this is possible: > "What keeps it up?" said Grandma Josephine. > "Sky hooks," said Mr Wonka. > "You amaze me," said Grandma Josephine. > "Dear lady," said Mr Wonka, "you are new to the scene. When you have been with us a little longer, nothing will amaze you." > "These skyhooks," said Grandma Josephine. "I assume one end is hooked on to this contraption we're riding in. Right?" > "Right," said Mr Wonka. > "What's the other end hooked on to?" said Grandma Josephine. > "Every day," said Mr Wonka, "I get deafer and deafer. Remind me, please, to call up my ear doctor the moment we get back." Perfect. ## 3\. One source of bad information A lovely little poem by Robert Bly. ### ***One Source of Bad Information** *by Robert Bly* There’s a boy in you about three Years old who hasn’t learned a thing for thirty Thousand years. Sometime it’s a girl. This child had to make up its mind How to save you from death. He said things like: "Stay home. Avoid elevators. Eat only elk." You live with this child, but you don’t know it. You’re in the office, yes, but live with this boy At night. He’s uninformed, but he does want To save your life. And he has. Because of this boy You survived a lot. He’s got six big ideas. Five don’t work. Right now he’s repeating them to you. ## 4\. The Art of Gathering ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/05/image-5.png) A practical nonfiction book that I've been totally obsessed with recently is Priya Parker's *[The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/37424706-the-art-of-gathering?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*. It's a thoughtful guide to hosting better social gatherings This is one of those essential skills that is entirely invisible to most people, but I bet you that in any tight-knit community, you'll find a couple of people who put a lot of time and effort into designing the gatherings that keep that community tight. My mum is one of those people, and when I was younger I used to eye-roll at how she starts planning Christmas in October, how she insists on turning any party into a themed dress-up extravaganza. The older I get, the more I understand just what a generous, special skill this is. I'm trying to get better at it! The book is packed full of insights, but my most helpful takeaways are these: - When most people plan an event, they start by thinking about the **category**, and end up replicating the expected form of "birthday party" or "wedding" or "braai" or "family dinner" or "baby shower". This can lead to events that are formulaic and empty. A better place to start is to define a bold, specific **purpose** for the gathering. This gives you creative freedom to imagine an event that will feel meaningful. “When we don’t examine the deeper assumptions behind why we gather, we end up skipping too quickly to replicating old, staid formats of gathering.” - Don't be a chill host. It's a *gift* to others to be thoughtful about designing an extraordinary gathering. "Gatherings crackle and flourish when real thought goes into them, when (often invisible) structure is baked into them, and when a host has the curiosity, willingness, and generosity of spirit to try." - Invitations matter: they're the opportunity for you to persuade the attendees of the **purpose** of your gathering, to convince them to buy in to the rules of the temporary world you are creating. "The invitation is a proposed temporary, voluntary social contract." - You can create a more playful gathering by setting explicit pop-up rules. "Pop-up rules are not controlling or boring, but rather a rebellion against etiquette." A rule could be something like "you are not allowed to tell anyone what you do for a living", or "the first person to touch their phone pays for the meal". Yes, there are small moments where the book does veer into feeling like a lecture from [Tahani from *The Good Place*](https://thegoodplace.fandom.com/wiki/Tahani%5FAl-Jamil?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), but mostly I loved it. I've already found myself putting some of the ideas into practice, channelling the extremely un-chill spirit of my mum, and throwing much better parties. You should be able to order the book from your local bookshop, but there are some wonderful free resources on [Priya Parker's website](https://www.priyaparker.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) as a start (her newsletter is a treat). ## 5\. Fair Play Speaking of skills that most people need but few of us are ever explicitly taught, I recently came across a helpful framework for dividing household tasks fairly. The eternal conundrum! [Eve Rodsky's "Fair Play"](https://www.fairplaylife.com/the-cards?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) consists of 100 cards representing common areas of responsibility in a household, everything from doing the dishes to planning date nights. The idea is that you and your partner(s)/housemates regularly sit down together, define what cards are in your deck (the tasks you value together), and then deal them in a way that feels fair (fair does not mean equal). For each card, you then discuss and agree on the minimum standard of care for each area of responsibility (for instance, yours might be, "dishes must be out of the sink by midnight every day", or more like ours, "five minutes before people come over, all the dishes which have been growing mould in various corners should be gathered up and washed frantically so no-one learns what trashpandas we are"). I like this system because it gets to two insights I've found very helpful when thinking about any form of collaborative project: 1. **Make the work visible**. All of us have our blind-spots. My partner is much better than I am at cleaning up grime, but clutter is entirely invisible to him; I don't even notice if there's an inch of dirt on the floor but I can't handle a random sock lying on top of it. Explicitly listing all the work that needs doing makes it very clear if one person is slacking, or if both of you are actually doing a bunch of work the other doesn't even see. 2. **Divide *responsibility*, not tasks**.An important point which Eve stresses: if you are responsible for something, you're responsible for it from beginning to end: conception, planning and execution. You are accepting the '**mental load**' of that item, not just the execution of it. You could buy the cards, but there's a lot of value in just [watching the video](https://www.fairplaylife.com/the-cards?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and having a conversation with your partner(s) based on the principles she discusses. If household labour is a fraught topic in your family, this system seems like smart way to try something different. \-- Wishing you great parties, peace in your home, and unexplainable facts, Sam ### A Girls of Little Hope freebie for you! URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/girls-of-little-hope-freebies/ Last updated: 2023-08-31T09:25:37.000Z Hello loves <3 Happy Friday to all you other fools not taking a holiday today. I've been hard at work on *Snarltooth*, which is running behind schedule, but is progressing. One of my MA students told me that their cohort's motto is #ploddingnotpanicking and this is the energy I am trying to hold onto! I do have some exciting things to update you on, so here are 5 things that made my week. ## 1\. *Girls of Little Hope* advance reader copies An utterly delightful thing: advance reader copies are now available for *Girls of Little Hope*, my debut novel with Dale Halvorsen. These are copies of the book that are sent out to reviewers a few months before they hit the shelves. If you're a book reviewer, [request your copy here](https://www.netgalley.co.uk/catalog/book/288702?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (or hit reply and I'll put you in touch with the publicity team). I can't tell you how good it feels to *finally* have other people reading the novel! Novels are so weird because you make up these imaginary friends and then you spend countless hours having conversations with them and hallucinating them into different scenariosand it basically looks like you've lost your mind, and then only YEARS LATER other people read the novel and start hanging out with your imaginary friends too! It's honestly WILD. And, even more overwhelmingly... the feedback so far has been *wonderful*. NetGalley selected it as one of their [UK Books of the Month for June](https://view.et.netgalley.com/?qs=975454b02932df673726d05243cc31025157c7eb050b8686a58fcbaee38a695cd56f1f3fc34aa681aecb12966c73f525fea55d283dde848b22af05434ec8bfdd109e30d35d4d39dd&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)! I *cannot wait* for the rest of you to read it! You can [pre-order it here](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/girls-of-little-hope/) if you're in the UK or Australia (Saffas, no stores are offering it for pre-order just yet, sorry, but it will be on your bookshelves in **June**). ## 2\. ... and a playlist! Okay, but June is MONTHS away, so to tide you over, here's playlist for you, of songs we think our three protagonists would have loved back in 1996\. Expect a lot of riotgrrrl power! ## 3\. *Colin from Accounts* ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/04/image-16.png) My partner and I have an elaborate shared mythology about our cat Digby. He is constantly trying to get us in on a new crypto scam. He doesn't *agree* with Andrew Tate, he just thinks it's not fair to criticise him unless you've watched every single one of his videos in full. He's engaged in a long-running territory battle with the leader of a rival cat gang, Freddy, only they've actually fallen in love and have secret trysts under the neighbour's bramble bush, but have to yeowl furiously every time they see each other to keep up pretences. Whenever something goes missing in the house, we tell each other that Digby pawned it for 'nip. I love this feature of long-term relationships, how they're essentially infinite games of improv. How much your love for each other can be deepened by your mutual obsession with some third external (infinitely mockable, dearly beloved) thing. How the jokes build and compound and intersect with other jokes until you develop an entire [familect](https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2021/05/family-secret-language-familect/618871/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) unintelligible to anyone else. This is captured perfectly in the charming new Australian romcom series, *[Colin from Accounts](https://m.imdb.com/title/tt18228732/?ref%5F=nv%5Fsr%5Fsrsg%5F0%5Ftt%5F1%5Fnm%5F0%5Fq%5Fcolin%2520from%2520account&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, about two strangers who meet when they are both involved in accidentally running over a dog. The dog lives (don't worry!) but needs a lot of care, and they get to know each other over sharing responsibility for this derpy, adorable creature who can no longer poop for himself, who they name Colin from Accounts. It's a great premise for hilarious sitcom antics (it's Australian, so expect plenty of poop jokes and cringe); but it also captures something that feels very warm and accurate about how we build families with each other. I loved it. My only note was that Colin needed more screentime, because that dog is perfect and I would kill for him. ## 4\. You Probably Need a Robot Right now, it feels like AI breakthroughs are happening approximately every 4 hours and it's hard to keep up. Like a week ago, I had my mind blown by the TED demo of the founder of OpenAI [Greg Brockman demonstrating what you can do with ChatGPT plug-ins](https://www.ted.com/talks/greg%5Fbrockman%5Fthe%5Finside%5Fstory%5Fof%5Fchatgpt%5Fs%5Fastonishing%5Fpotential/c?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), but there have no doubt been 700 innovations since then. If this stuff interests you (I'm equal parts riveted, thrilled, and certain we're about to accidentally end civilisation), I can highly recommend the newsletter [*You Probably Need a Robot*](https://youprobablyneedarobot.beehiiv.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*,* a clear and concise weekly summary of the big AI stories and announcements. ## 5\. Message in a Hammer Lastly, here's the song I've had playing on repeat all week, a total banger by Nigerian musician Obongjayar, ["Message in a Hammer"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bpg3M6lCrI&ab%5Fchannel=OBONGJAYAR&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). I read it as a protest song about state corruption and violence, a topic which I'm certain will have absolutely zero resonance for any of the readers of this newsletter /s. \-- Wishing you family in-jokes and the strength to #plodnotpanick, Sam ### Rigged games URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-man-with-the-golden-hands/ Last updated: 2023-04-14T15:50:11.000Z Hello loves! It's been a frustrating couple of weeks working on *Snarltooth*, my second novel. I've been stuck in a bit of an outlining cycle, and I always struggle to tell when my need to obsessively plan things is work or procrastination. I think I've pulled myself out of the spiral now, and am actually ... you know ... writing the novel. But we'll see if it sticks. If you see me anywhere near a pack of index cards, please yell at me until I put them down and go back to my laptop! In the meantime, here are five things that made my week :) ## 1\. Game-a-thon! The London Games Festival is happening, which sees the city come alive with silliness and shenanigans (two things I am largely in favour of). I particularly enjoyed [Now Play This](https://nowplaythis.net/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), an exhibition of interactive artwork and outlandish (often narrative-driven) games at Somerset House. I particularly loved **[Deviation Game](https://deviationgame.com/top-en.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** by Tomo Kihara & Playfool. Imagine Pictionary, except all the humans in the room are competing against an AI. The trick is for the (human) drawer to communicate an idea to the other humans, without the AI being able to guess what it is first. The AI mostly kicked our butts, until we started getting more abstract and pun-driven. It was fascinating to be challenged to find ways of thinking which are more uniquely human. Other highlights of the festival, which you can play online, were *[The Game: The Game](https://thegamethegame.org/download/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* (a feminist narrative game about pick up artists), *[Corpse Meditation for the Rat Under the Bed and Also the Universe](https://hellodri.itch.io/corpse-meditation?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* (a moving interactive poem about a dead rat) and *[Point of Mew](https://katekillick.itch.io/point-of-mew?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* (a game about being a cat trying to cheer up a depressed human). ![A screenshot of a video game](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/04/image-3.png) Catt Small's "Breakup Squad" - a game where friends try to keep toxic exes from reuniting at a party - had us in stitches. On a related note, if you love thoughtful silliness, and live in Cape Town, please catch my brilliant friend (and I suspect actual warlock) Stuart Lightbody's new show of illusion and espionage, the [Man With the Golden Hands](https://www.kalkbaytheatre.co.za/the-man-with-the-golden-hands/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), on 3 and 10 May. If you're in the UK, it's coming to Edinburgh Fringe later this year. ![A poster for Stuart Lightbody's show the Man with the Golden Hands](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/04/image-14.png) ## 2\. How to be an Alien I was recently compiling a list of the best books about the experience of being an immigrant in the UK, I stumbled up on an absolute gem published in 1946: *How to be an Alien*. George Mikes was an immigrant from Hungary, and his observations about the English are still 100% on-point 77 years later. Even the ones about cars! > If you park your car in the City, the West End of London or many other places, two or three policemen will run up and tell you, ‘You cannot park here! Move along!’ So where can you park? The policemen do not know. ‘Try a place thirty miles down the road near the sea in the village of Minchinhampton,’ they say. ‘Three cars can park there for half an hour on Sunday morning between 7 and 8 a.m.’ I think this may, perhaps, be the most accurate thing ever said about the English: > In Europe people are either honest with you or they lie to you; in England people almost never lie, but they are almost never quite honest with you either. He describes how the Brits just love a good queue: > At weekends, an Englishman queues up at the bus-stop, travels out to Richmond, queues up for a boat, then queues up for tea, then queues up for ice cream, then queues up some more because it is fun, then queues up at the bus-stop when he wants to go home. He has a very good time. ![The cover of the book "How to be an Alien" by George Mikes](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/04/image-5.png) There's also this zinger: > European men and women have sex lives; English men and women have hot-water bottles. The whole thing is a hilarious short read. If you're interested, other books I've recommended for newcomers to the UK are: - The *Life in the United Kingdom* guide published by the Home Office - *Watching the English: The Hidden Rules of English Behaviour* – Kate Fox - *The Good Immigrant* – Nikesh Shukla (ed) - *Empireland: How Imperialism Has Shaped Modern Britain* – Sathnam Sanghera - *London: The Biography* – Peter Ackroyd - *Notes from a Small Island* and *The Road to Little Dribbling* – Bill Bryson - *Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race –* Reni Eddo-Lodge - *Natives:* *Race and Class in the Ruins of Empire –* Akala - *Scotland: A Concise History* – Fitzroy Maclean - *The Old Ways: A Journey on Foot* – Robert Macfarlane - *Black and British: A Forgotten History* – David Olusoga Do hit reply and tell me if you think I'm missing anything from that list! By the way, if you'd like a sneak-peak of some potential covers for my *Moving to the UK* book, [you can spot them here.](https://www.tiktok.com/@sambeckbessinger/video/7218814961525558533?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## 3\. Bastard Jargon [Nakhane](http://nakhaneofficial.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) has blessed us with a new album! I've had it on repeat all week. Here's the sublime "Hold Me Down". Hold Me Down - Nakhane ## 4\. The family dramas of the 0.01% ![A poster for the TV show Succession](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/04/image-11.png) I've been watching *Succession* (haven't we all) and thinking a lot about the absurd amount of power held by a tiny group of billionaires. If you want to augment your juicy viewing with some very nerdy economics reports (oh ... just me?) I highly recommend the [2022 World Inequality Report](https://wir2022.wid.world/www-site/uploads/2023/03/D%5FFINAL%5FWIL%5FRIM%5FRAPPORT%5F2303.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It shows that most of the growth in inequality over the past few decades isn't about normal-rich people, it's about the very-extremely-unimaginably-rich grabbing an unprecedented portion of the world's wealth. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/04/image-10.png) > The wealth of the top 10% globally, which constitutes the middle class in rich countries and the merely rich in poor countries is actually growing slower than the world average, but the top 1% is growing much faster: between 1995 and 2021, the top 1% captured 38% of the global increment in wealth, while the bottom 50% captured a frightening 2%. The share of wealth owned by the global top 0.1% rose from 7% to 11% over that period and global billionaire wealth soared. With the boom in the stock market, the picture does not seem to be getting better. The authors makes the point that this *is not inevitable*. There are very real specific policies that can halt and reverse this trend, like progressive wealth taxation supported by cross-border information tracking to reduce tax avoidance. We have tools, we just need to use them. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/04/image-12.png) Currently, we are taxing the very wealthy LESS than we used to. Apart from being a moral atrocity, inequality just makes economies less productive. Francis Bacon got it right all the way back in 1625: > Riches were like manure: When it lay, upon an heape, it gave but a stench, and ill odour; but when it was spread upon the ground, then it was cause of much fruit. ## 5\. Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo ![The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/04/image-13.png) I don't know howI missed this one when it came out in 2017, but I've been adoring *The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo* by Taylor Jenkins Reid. It's about an underachieving journalist who's offered a career-defining gig: to write the biography of (fictional) glamorous Old Hollywood star Evelyn Hugo, and her scandalous seven marriages. I'm loving the layered story-in-a-story structure, the complex characters, and the mystery at the heart of the novel: why Evelyn has chosen this nobody journalist to tell her life-story to (I'm on marriage number three, and still don't have a clue!). > Sometimes reality comes crashing down on you. Other times reality simply waits, patiently, for you to run out of the energy it takes to deny it. It's a witty and heartfelt, and I'm enjoying it immensely. Wishing you both glamour and silliness, Sam ### Springtime URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/springtime/ Last updated: 2023-04-06T09:46:59.000Z Hello loves! Greetings from a London which is bursting with Spring flowers while remaining unacceptably freezing. I haven't written a newsletter for a while. Instead, I... - Spent a month in South Africa gallivanting around with friends and family and trying to absorb as much sunlight as possible. - Bought a flat??? I KNOW I KNOW. More on this in a sec. - Finished the guide to moving to the UK, which is coming out in September, although we'll be launching some helpful resources in the next couple of months (hit reply and let me know if you want to get on that waiting list). - Finished the edits on *Girls of Little Hope*, my debut novel! It's still on track to come out in June, and I could pee in excitement. - Started lecturing at Bath Spa University, for their wonderful MA in Writing for Young People. - Got really, really into home renovation videos on TikTok (help). I am ploughing ahead trying to finish the first draft of *Snarltooth* \- my second novel - by the end of the month. If you missed it at the end of last year because you were already on holiday (power to you) my last missive of 2022 was [an essay about my dad](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/dont-look-now/), which I think is the best newsletter I've ever written. I do want to get back to semi-regular newslettering, so here are five things which have been on my mind recently. ## 1\. How do you know when you're ready to buy a house? So... after years of telling everyone that home ownership is overrated, I went and bought a flat, lol. I'm pleased to report that the process has only solidified my belief that buying the home you live in is something you shouldn't rush into, even if you are lucky enough that it's an option for you, and it's certainly not a sure-fire path to riches. Because *yoh -* buying a flat in London in the middle of a housing market meltdown is one of the most expensive, difficult, exhausting, stressful things I've ever done. And I survived Zeplins nightclub in Tshwane in the early 2000s. There are two ways to think about buying the home you live in. First, you can think of it as an **asset**. The dream is: you buy the home now (using the bank's money), get to live in it for a few years, and in a few years' time you sell it, making a huge profit. A fool-proof plan! Only... for most people, it doesn't actually work. It does work for *some* people who are lucky enough to buy properties in the right areas at the right time. Except that there's no reliable way to predict whether the area you're buying in is going to grow in value or not. If there was, investment firms would buy up all the profitable residential houses and there would be none left for you (which is partly what got London into a housing cost crisis). And because buying a home ties up a lot of your money, you're putting all your financial eggs in one basket. Which makes it, in reality, one of the riskiest types of assets for most regular people trying to preserve the value of their hard-earned money. Statistically, residential property just hasn't been a reliable asset class for most people recently. For most of the past 20 years, [residential property in South Africa has *lost* money against inflation](https://propertywheel.co.za/wp-content/uploads/Property-barometer-July-2021.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Even in London, an objectively bizonkulous market, £100,000 invested in property 25 years ago would have [done much less well than money invested in the stock market](https://www.schroders.com/en/insights/economics/what-174-years-of-data-tell-us-about-house-price-affordability-in-the-uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). So the odds are not in your favour, trying to sell your own home at a profit. But there's a second way to think about the home you live in: **as a cost you can optimise**. You have to live somewhere, and you have to pay money to do so. Wouldn't you rather pay off a bond than a landlord? This is is a more helpful way to think about home ownership. But it's still not that simple, because *buying and selling property is extremely expensive.* I'm talking about irrecoverable costs: the solicitor/conveyancer fees, the taxes, hiring an exorcist to banish the haunted doll in the attic. These costs are so big that it takesmany years before owning a house works out cheaper than renting the same place would have been [(in South Africa, the average is around 9 years)](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/when-should-you-buy-a-house/). So here's what that tells us: **you should aim to buy your home when you're pretty sure you're ready to commit to staying in one place for the next decade.** So, people should knock it off encouraging 20-somethings to get on the property ladder as quickly as possible (if that's even a possibility for them, *which it is not* for the vast majority of 20-somethings). When you're young, you're not ready to commit to a haircut, let alone a property. We should also encourage people to buy property right at the bottom of their affordability range, not at the top (which makes sense when you think of property as a *cost*, not an *asset*). And, honestly, **this emotional reason** is why my partner and I eventually bought a flat. We moved seven times in the past six years, and one of those moves was to the other side of the world one month before a global pandemic, which made me feel like I was stranded on a desert island. This made me frantic for the certainty that I will not have to move again until I choose to. All of my fantasies for the past year have revolved around wanting to have a local kebab shop, a library card, a sense of where home is. My partner and I may have bought this flat at the worst possible time, according to housing market experts. And you know what? I don't even care. We plan to live there for a long time. Jayson Coomer, my favourite South African economics blogger (you might know him as Rolling Alpha), [wrote a very moving article recently about his own decision to buy a house](http://jaysoncoomer.com/2023/02/20/rent-or-buy-well-i-bought-a-house/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), after years of being skeptical of the financial benefits of home ownership. I was struck by how tightly bound the experience was for him about grieving his dad. I, too, have spent so much time thinking about my father while building shelves and insulating condensation pipes and all the other thrilling activities involved in homeownership, remembering long weekends spent wandering around Builder's Warehouse with him. I've been surprised by the depths of my own feelings about what is essentially a pile of bricks and mortar and rotting floor joists. Our biggest financial decisions are usually emotional ones, and that's something to be celebrated. What is money for if not to help you make meaning of your life? Maybe the true rule of thumb about buying property is as simple as this: **buy a property when you can, and when your heart insists that you must.** ## 2\. Johannes Phokela at the Zeitz MoCAA ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2023/01/image.png) "Exciting Recipes" by Johannes Phokela If you're in Cape Town, please catch the[ Johannes Phokela](https://zeitzmocaa.museum/exhibition/exhibitions/johannes-phokela-only-the-sun-in-the-sky-knows-how-i-feel-a-lucid-dream/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) exhibition at the Zeitz MoCAA ("Only Sun in the Sky Knows How I Feel") - it's extraordinary. Many of the images are riffing off "old masters", with wry wit and a dark sense of humour, exploring themes of colonialism, the body, and morality. It's on until 29 May. Don't miss it! ## 3\. Make zines with your buddies A couple of months ago, I challenged my buddy Simon Dingle to make me a zine. I don't want to be hyperbolic, but I think what he made might actually be the greatest work of literature of all time ever. It's called *Cope*, a short guide to having an existential crisis. This lead to [a long chat on our podcast](https://www.takebacktheday.co/66?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about why making silly, simple things (like zines!) can help you to quiet your inner critic and rediscover the playfulness you need to do any creative work. > This has definitely been a challenge for me trying to go from someone who has always just written because that's my hobby, to "this is also the thing that needs to pay my bills". It's not even the money thing. It's that, if you are a professional, you feel like everything you make has to be good. And the reality of making anything is that you have to do many, many drafts of it being shockingly bad before it can maybe be slightly good. And just shushing the inner critic in the meantime is hard. [Take a listen here.](https://www.takebacktheday.co/66?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## 4\. Terra Nil I am just so, so proud of my friends at Cape Town-based video game company Free Lives who have just released the most deliciously peaceful puzzle game about restoring the environment: *Terra Nil*. > Terra Nil is an intricate environmental strategy game about transforming a barren wasteland into a thriving, balanced ecosystem. Bring life back to a lifeless world by purifying soil, cleaning oceans, planting trees, and reintroducing wildlife, then leave without a trace. It's gorgeous and hopeful and it floods my brain with happy juice. [It's available on PC and mobile (with Netflix).](https://www.terranil.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## 5\. Favourite picture books I have been on a picture-book reading spree recently. If there's a young child in your life, please can I tell you about my recent faves: - *[The Hospital Dog](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/55850106-the-hospital-dog?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=KVqBVym43o&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* \- Julia Donaldson. If you know anyone under the age of 5, you are definitely well-acquainted with the literary empire of Julia Donaldson, creator of *The Gruffalo* and brilliant prolific writer of books in verse. I recently discovered this one, a lesser-known gem published in 2020, which might be the most compassionate and sweet book about illness and injury I've ever read. Please buy this for any kids you know who have to spend time in hospital. - *[Refilwe](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22057365-refilwe?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F7)* \- Zukiswa Wanner. A magical South African take on Repunzel. My friend Katie, who worked at the [Nal'ibali Trust](https://www.nalibali.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) promoting reading, tells me it is "the absolutely top top top beloved book by the kids at the 720 Eastern Cape and KZN schools Nal’ibali worked at". I adored it. - *[Ten Delicious Teachers](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58726543-ten-delicious-teachers?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F21)* \- Ross Montgomery. A zany counting book about ten scrumptious teachers who take a shortcut through a forest filled with large hungry monsters. Hilarious and dark (thanks, Georgina and Zoe, for the recommendation). - *[Julián is a Mermaid](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/26532714-juli-n-is-a-mermaid?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=e1ZGW83R04&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* \- Jessica Love. My dear friend Maya put me onto this one, and it's fast become one of my all-time faves. It's a heart-swelling story about a kid who catches a glimpse of some costumed mermaids on the subway and decides he wants to be one too. - *[Food Fight](https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/food-fight-alex-latimer/7104787?ean=9780192780362&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* \- Alex Latimer. The new book by one of my fave children's book writers and illustrators. Stuffed full of memorable characters, charming illustrations and food puns. Looking for picture books for young kiddos? [Here's a list of some of my all-time favourites](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/kids-picture-books/). \-- Wishing you spring blossoms and zines, Sam ### Don't Look Now URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/dont-look-now/ Last updated: 2022-12-23T08:28:24.000Z Hello loves! The last piece I'm going to leave you with this year is an essay I wrote about my love of horror. Content warnings for gore and death. Happy holidays! I'm beaming December vibes to you all. Sam --- > “To learn what we fear is to learn who we are.” - Shirley Jackson, *The Haunting of Hill House* There was this game we played as kids. You’d sit in a circle, lights out, and somebody would tell a scary story. The story would be about a person exploring a haunted house, or a dark basement, or an abandoned asylum. The storyteller would describe opening a door, or a cupboard, or an old wooden chest, and putting their hand inside to grope into the darkness. And in the real world, we’d pass around a shoebox, and you’d have to reach in your hand and touch the horror inside ... eyeballs! (peeled grapes), a knot of human hair! (a wig), hairy tarantulas! (pipe cleaners), a collection of human ears! (dried apple slices). Nothing beat that feeling: sitting in the dark, listening to the gasps and screams and nervous giggles as the box made its way around to you, that quivering anticipation, that dread delight. I’ve been a horror junkie for as long as I can remember. By the time I was eleven, R.L. Stine had published 109 *[Goosebumps](https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/13730.R%5FL%5FStine?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* books, and I must have read at least 108 of them. After I finished everything in the kids’ section, my librarian reluctantly allowed me to start borrowing from the adult horror section, where I dug into the Stephen Kings and never really climbed out again. I was a lonely kid, hiding on the stoep at aftercare while the other kids played boisterous screaming games in the garden, working my way through 736 pages of *[Needful Things](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/107291.Needful%5FThings?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*. I once got into so much trouble because a second-grade girl named Justine cuddled up next to me and asked me to read to her, and I did, and the other kids heard and joined in, and before I knew it I was reading the rats scene from *[Salem’s Lot](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11590.%5FSalem%5Fs%5FLot?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* out loud to fifteen nine-year-olds. My poor mother; she had to field a lot of angry phone calls the next day. It’s not that I don’t get scared easily. I do! If anything, I think I love horror because I am more afraid than most people. Horror confirms everything I already expect from life. *Of course* there’s a creature living under your bed. *Of course* the person in the mirror isn’t really you. *Of course* the call is coming from inside the house. *Of course* there’s a man standing right behind you as you read this — don’t look now, but he has a tiny knife and he wants to carve off bits of your body. I suffered from night terrors. Bone-rattling nightmares that would wake me every single night. I buttressed myself in teddy bears before I went to sleep, tucking every single toy I owned around me like a fortress. It never worked. A few hours later, I’d wake up heart-shuddering, sweat-bathed, desperate for help. I’d fling myself up, making sure that the first leap got my feet out of grasping-range of whatever was under my bed, and I’d run for my safe harbour: my father. I’d slip into his side of the bed, long past the age most children grow out of sleeping in their parents’ bed. He’d give a huff of irritation, but pull me close and let me spend the rest of the night nestled in safety there. My dad was a huge man, even huger in the eyes of a daughter. He was six-foot-four with a big moustache and a big belly and a big voice. His joy was enormous. He was the centre of every room, telling an elaborate joke, an absurd story. How he lived on a beach for a year selling weed. How he once wrestled a bull. How his second marriage lasted for three weeks. How he blew up an abandoned building with a chlorine bomb, for fun. His rage was enormous, too. He was still getting into bar fights well into his sixties, and had what we euphemistically referred to as a temper. It would come out of nowhere — or it would seem to, if you weren’t fluent in my father. What you had to watch for was him getting extra funny, clowning extra hard. That was the kind of humour that had a blade tucked inside of it. It didn’t happen often, but there were nights he’d come home stinking of rum and danger. Extra merry. My mother and brother would make themselves scarce, but I never had to. I learned young how to ride the waves of my dad’s anger. I’d convince him to watch *Teletubbies* with me until he sobered up and stopped looking for a fight. We both found *Teletubbies* hilarious. We developed our own theory that the whole thing was really about four teenagers who’d taken too much LSD and that the sun-baby was their one sober friend, trying to hold it all together. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/12/image-2.png) "No, you idiots, the vacuum cleaner is not trying to talk to you." We adored each other, my dad and I. My father had four kids and three wives but I got the best of him. I was also terrified of him sometimes, but love and fear aren’t opposites. I loved my father’s violence; you could hide underneath it, if you made yourself small enough. --- Dread is the energy that pulls you through a horror story. You don’t want to look; you have to look. You don’t want to see what’s in the box, but it’s worse not to see it. You put your hands over your face, and then you peep through your fingers. My friend Dale teases me for bringing blankets to the cinema when we watch horror movies together, so I can hide under them. He rates the scariness of horror movies in numbers of “Sam-blankets”, like, “that was a three Sam-blankets movie”. I still do this even though I am thirty-five years old, even though I have spent hundreds of hours watching horror movies, even though I profess to love them. Horror movies toy with you, showing you just glimpses of the bad thing. It’s a shadow in the bushes. It’s standing just behind you, out of focus. It’s there for just a moment in the doorway, but when you turn around, it’s already gone. The monster is always scarier before you see it. Not-seeing is the cauldron where dread is made. But a horror director can’t play this game forever. At some point, they have to show their hand. That’s usually the point where the director reaches for the second powerful emotion of horror: disgust. This is where we flip on the lightswitch and see the room drenched in blood, the boiling mass of rats, the possessed child vomiting all over you, the fingernails being pulled out one by one. If dread is fearing what you haven’t yet seen, disgust is seeing more than you want to. The things you wish you could unsee. Different subgenres of horror lean more on one of these emotions or the other, but the dance between dread and disgust is what energises most great horror fiction. It is a rare work of horror that manages to be all dread and no disgust, and still feel satisfying. The only example I can think of is Shirley Jackson’s incomparable *[The Haunting of Hill House](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/89717.The%5FHaunting%5Fof%5FHill%5FHouse?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, and even that features words painted onto a wall in blood, and you could argue that it’s the protagonist’s disgust with herself that motivates the final violent act of the novel (I'm being deliberately coy here in case you've never read it). Sure, there are whole subgenres of horror that are 99% disgust with very little dread, but these aren’t exactly held up as paragons of the genre. Some friends and I used to have a Bad Horror Club in Cape Town. Every Monday night we’d meet up, order noodles, and watch the worst splattercore or body horror or B-horror we could find. We got our hands onto some real stinkers. *[Blood Shed](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6662612/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, which was about — yup! — a murderous garden shed. *[I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097550/?ref%5F=fn%5Fal%5Ftt%5F1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, which involves not only a bloodthirsty Norton Commando but also a talking poop. *[Society](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098354/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, which features a scene where somebody punches a dude up the butt, reaches through his entire digestive system, grabs his mouth, and pulls him inside out. You can [watch the whole scene online](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcfav-5kArM&ab%5Fchannel=tylerdurden421&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) if you don’t believe me. Bad horror is a festival of disgust. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/12/image-3.png) But good horror, too, requires embodiment. Horror is about fear, and the fear underneath all other fears is death. That’s why we’re repulsed by sickness, by pus, by blood, by the dark and the things that might be hiding inside of it. Sometimes the small moments of embodiment are the most disturbing. Stephen King’s *[Carrie](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/10592.Carrie?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* is a novel with an impressive body count and (literal) buckets of blood, but the thing I remember most clearly is a tiny moment where Carrie is looking at herself in the mirror. “She hated her \[own\] face, her dull, stupid, bovine face, the vapid eyes, the red, shiny pimples, the nests of blackheads.” Those three words stuck into me like a burr when I first read them at twelve or thirteen: *nests of blackheads*. It captured so much about that self-disgust, that monstrosity of being a teenager. It put Carrie in a human body. And that’s the real source of the danger, isn’t it? To have a body is to be vulnerable to someone hacking it apart. --- I had major back surgery when I was twenty. After years of screaming at fictional strangers cutting bodies open with knives, it’s amazing how calm I was about the real thing. But modern hospitals are places designed to banish dread. There are always lights on, people around, crisp white linen, the smell of disinfectant. As long as you strategically avert your eyes from the crying families, you might be able to forget that this is the true house of horrors. All the gore is hidden away. It’s like a magic trick. *Here*, the anaesthetist says to you, *breathe in and count backwards from ten*. And before you get to eight, you’re asleep, and then you wake up and it’s all over. Ta-da! Suppressed fears bubble up into horror, though. Surgery is a common horror theme, from great examples like *[Get Out](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5052448/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Re-Animator](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089885/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* and *[The Skin I Live In](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1189073/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, to so-bad-they’re-great examples like *[Tusk](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3099498/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* and *[The Human Centipede](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1467304/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com).* My surgery wound was on a part of my back that I couldn’t see without looking in a mirror, which I decided never to do. I moved back in with my parents so they could look after me. I spent my days in a haze of painkillers, watching the same season of *[Buffy the Vampire Slayer](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118276/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* over and over again because I couldn’t keep track of what was happening. Every night, I’d stretch out on the couch and my dad would clean my wound for me. He worked hard to keep the disgust off his face. He was so gentle, his huge fingers wiping the crusted pus off the stitches. It was the most real act of love that I remember. --- ![](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/Y8F3qlWGRI4QSeT59eEbfsl54wbYaHNsjKEYTlDgnCLH_balTfyKGIDlDmwHwZDX6CNcatpzjGjgfNUP9MlLO2cJrChPuLO0HBHkkSdfpgGjrROAs7tizrQD7hZpbLB0y4NYilThSn3QHggh_KWt0jcpalUA-ad54J9SXBp21WrBg9pLZW_6w3Z9LTSz) Unknown Artist, in the Old Operating Theatre & Herb Garret collection --- There’s a doorway in Southwark, a few blocks away from London Bridge. It leads up a winding staircase to an old garret. A dusty room filled with old medical instruments, barrels of dried herbs. Exactly the kind of place you would find in a story told in the dark, with a box being passed around a circle of giggling children. But this one’s real, an old hospital and apothecary. It’s a museum now. And right at the back, through even more cramped doorways and musty passages, is something surprising: a wooden amphitheatre, benches arranged in concentric rows around a single wooden operating table. London’s oldest surgical theatre, built in 1822\. It’s called the [Old Operating Theatre Museum and Herb Garret](https://oldoperatingtheatre.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and it’s on St Thomas Street, if you ever find yourself in London and have a taste for the macabre. We don’t often think about this, but operating theatres used to be literally theatres (Greek, *theatron*, “a place of seeing”). For much of European history, surgeons and doctors were different professions — even today, surgeons traditionally go by “Ms” or “Mr”, not by “Dr”. Doctors were posh, professionalised, and studied their craft at a university. Surgeons belonged to the same guild as barbers. They trained by apprenticeship, which means they trained by looking. Imagine sitting in a surgical theatre in 1822\. There was no anaesthetic. The patient would have been given alcohol or opium to dull the pain, but they’d be awake. Surgeons didn’t know anything about germs back then (the theory about what caused infection was “miasma” in the air), so no instrument would have been disinfected, no hands would have been washed. There’d have been a box of sawdust under the table to soak up blood. Since the rich were operated on in the privacy of their own homes, the person lying on the operating table would have been poor. The chances of them surviving were small. The surgeon’s best chance was to be as quick as possible. Some surgeons could perform an amputation in under a minute. Still, imagine how long that minute must have felt. Imagine the screaming. I offer you [Richard Gordon’s description](https://oldoperatingtheatre.com/education-surgery/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) of Robert Liston performing surgery: “He was six foot two, and operated in a bottle green coat with wellington boots. He sprung across the blood stained boards upon his swooning, sweating, strapped down patient like a duelist, calling, ‘Time me gentlemen, time me!’ to students craning with pocket watches from the iron railinged galleries. Everyone swore that the first flash of his knife was followed so swiftly by the rasp of saw on bone that sight and sound seemed simultaneous. To free both hands, he would clasp the bloody knife between his teeth.” If you were an apprentice surgeon who needed a slower demonstration, or just disliked the yelling, you could watch a cadaver dissection instead. Problem was, in the United Kingdom in the 1800s, there were limited places one could obtain a cadaver. Most bereaved families wanted a Christian burial for their loved ones, which restricted your options to executed criminals, suicide victims or unclaimed orphans. In other words, impoverished people. This led to an epidemic of body snatching. It got so bad that families started hiring guards for cemeteries and building iron cages over fresh graves (“mortsafes'') to deter the Resurrection Men. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/12/image-4.png) Hablot Knight Browne (1847). **Resurrectionists.* The protagonist of the first great horror novel, [Victor Frankenstein](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35031085-frankenstein?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), was a body snatcher, an almost-surgeon. “Who shall conceive the horrors of my secret toil as I dabbled among the unhallowed damps of the grave or tortured the living animal to animate the lifeless clay?” he says. By the late-1800s, Europeans had figured out anaesthesia (ether, then chloroform) and muscle relaxants. They’d realised that washing your hands and knives are good, actually. Surgery became just a little less deadly. Instead of Victor Frankenstein and his monstrous science, fiction now offers us [Sherlock Holmes](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/102868.A%5FStudy%5Fin%5FScarlet?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), the man who conquers the darkness with rationality. Sherlock Holmes was based on the real anatomist Joseph Bell, the first man to give autopsy evidence in a court of law. *Autopsy*, from the Greek, *autopsia*, “I will see for myself”. When we go to a surgeon now, we like to believe that we’re in a Sherlock Holmes story rather than a slasher film. A brilliant doctor will use modern science to spot the clues and figure out what’s wrong and save us. The mystery will be solved. Wrongs will be set right. The [monstrous hound](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/8921.The%5FHound%5Fof%5Fthe%5FBaskervilles?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) will turn out to be nothing but a big dog after all. That’s what we tell ourselves. But it’s still lurking there, just beneath the surface: the horror, the horror of all of this. --- ![](https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/aK5I0ZsR-W3VYNdOKqUlSEbDgZfzQmt8hE1OoZjfDs3G5ZCQvngIIlJ1Lcm1QTg9MMeCP4oiuQ8vNZPpKk9ogH9z0pViEuTlctbmMi5B1dteKs5drlkUsNrr1N3LmoOI0LzT0aUp6zNrqTQQGDit9w1jY9B0dp5VxHeesvm_Os0MEdofvxs0eRK7twfZ) Thomas Eakins’s *The Agnew Clinic* (1889) --- Dread, the moment before you see the monster; disgust, the moment after. What you don’t want to see; what you wish you could unsee. --- “Around 400-million people in the world have diabetes, a chronic blood sugar regulation disorder.” Those were the sanitised words on the informational pamphlet we got from the doctor. But I can tell you the truth: diabetes is parts of your body rotting, until surgeons have to start cutting off pieces of you, bit by bit. It started with the top of the big toe on his right foot. Just a little slice. Like so many men of his generation, especially South African men proud of being “rough and tough and from the Bluff”, my dad was terrible about going to the doctor when he was sick. I came to visit him one day, and he took off his shoes, and there was a wound on the bottom of his big toe, and it was green. I had to make an appointment to see the doctor when he refused to. The doctor made a face I will never forget, and that was the beginning of my horror story. He had a heart attack a few months later, the inevitable result of a lifetime of smoking and a diet that consisted solely of red meat (“I do eat vegetables, I just get animals to eat them first”). They needed to take a hunk of vein from his thigh for the bypass. By that point, he’d already had two more toes amputated from his right foot, and the first toe taken off his left. The surgeon told us there were some risks in opening up his thigh, but they were reasonable risks, easily managed. He was so reassuring, with his white coat and antiseptic smell. There was not a spot of blood on him anywhere. The wound on my dad’s thigh never healed. Neither did the thick cut that twisted across his chest, pierced with ugly black staples like Frankenstein’s monster. Both got infected. The doctor said we should cut off his foot to try to save his calf. Then, that we should cut off his calf to try to save his thigh. They carved him up like Christmas ham, piece by piece. I remember walking into the E.R. after they took off the last of his leg, and he was blinking slowly, still waking up. He looked smaller, lying in that bed, than I’d ever seen him. I could see the shape of him under the thin blanket, lopsided. He lifted the blanket to show me, and I stumbled back. I just couldn’t look at it. I will never forgive myself for doing that to him. I was making his medical decisions at that point, because my dad was too out of it to really understand what was going on. I tried asking his doctor if it was worth it, to keep putting him through all of this pain in the hope of — what — a couple more years wasting away in a chair until his heart gave out for good? My dad always said he wanted to spend his retirement exploring the Karoo in a campervan. The doctor couldn’t give me a real answer. Even now, surgical training involves dissections and textbooks, not philosophy. They train surgeons to prolong life, not to offer a good death. I can’t even tell you the worst parts of it, the gory details of what happens to a body when it takes eighteen months to shut down. The awful things he said to us when he started to lose his mind. You don’t want to know those things. I hope you never have to know. I hope you never have to reach your hand into this particular dark box, and feel what’s inside. --- ![](https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/Rd6KYsgUSRn0sgvJ7kaE4kKZdoOZ0LuzKoI_QR_N-1hHlHWaXLwG8nSqahe4k6j0EbJJe1Vcqt2XtLDXj_qnYCay5e93yuw8HQYe-9a7OjxDaOekS9K-8Jl04iQWzqN9zSLfwZ5x2VbDMVgVBGgSYFeLXJ2aFJrLSLIXUkB_VWzoHgfQKudzOrVeVsb5) Kamata Keishu (1851). Amputation of the lower leg, from *Geka Kihai*. --- It was easier when he died. It was awful, obviously, but it was over. There was nothing more to dread. I held it together remarkably well, just like he would have. I was efficient and calm. I made to-do lists. I applied for the death certificate. I got his pension released and his debts paid off and his bank accounts closed. I planned a funeral for 150 people, which feels like planning a wedding in hell, by the way. I wrote Facebook posts, and phoned all the relatives too old to be on Facebook. I wrote a eulogy. I arranged the cremation. I found that I could not cry. They asked me if I wanted to come see his body one last time before they slid him into the oven. I said no. I did not want to see his body, so mistreated, ever again. The day after his funeral, my two best friends picked me up. They’re both horror writers too. They get it, this thing that draws us to stare into the dark, so they took me to a theme park. I only wanted to ride the Golden Loop all afternoon, the biggest rollercoaster they have. The cart shuddered forwards and tipped into the sky, and I squeezed my eyes shut, and I screamed and I screamed and I screamed. ### Love is for Losers URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/love-is-for-losers/ Last updated: 2022-12-09T15:36:03.000Z Hi loves! Greetings from London, where it is four degrees Celsius and I have been relegated to the primary job of "hot water bottle for my cat". I kind of love it, though: I've been living inside of a blanket nest mostly working on [my handbook for moving to the UK](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/latest-projects/) and gorging on YA romcoms. This is your VERY LAST CALL to order a thank you postcard! We're nearly at 100 sign-ups, but you might still be able to nab one if you [fill in the form today](https://forms.gle/uFneZW1SDfUEmM5W8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Here are five other things that have made my week. ![A poster for Triangle of Sadness](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/12/image.png) ## 1\. Triangle of Sadness If - like me - you are FROTHING AT THE MOUTH IN EXCITEMENT waiting for the finale of season two of *[White Lotus](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Baflc%5F0XVfY&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, may I recommend this devilish dark comedy about terrible things happening to rich people on a luxury yacht: *[Triangle of Sadness](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7322224/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com).* It follows a couple of model influencers (one played by the sublime, sadly late, South African Charlbi Dean) who end up on a cruise full of billionaire British arms dealers, Russian oligarchs and an unhinged alcoholic Marxist captain. Then, things go wrong. [The trailer gives far too much away](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDvfFIZQIuQ&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) so just trust me, it's a fun time. It won this year's Palme d'Or. It's good! ## 2\. ChatGPT & other extremely trippy things Last week, my buddy Simon challenged me to try a breathwork class. Holy cow, it was a much more trippy experience than I was expecting. We talk about that, and the astounding things chatbots can do now, in the latest episode of *[Take Back the Day](https://www.takebacktheday.co/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com).* Also, please admire this hilarious episode cover art [DALL.E 2](https://openai.com/dall-e-2/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) made for us. Our podcast will henceforth be known as "THE OF THE DAK TAKE TO THIE DAK", thank you. ![An AI-generated image with the text, "THE OF THE DAK TAKE TO THIE DAK"](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/12/image-1.png) ## 3\. Queer YA romances ❤️ One of the things that makes me so damn happy is how much more diverse teen fiction is (finally!) becoming. I've been on a real "queer teen romance" novel binge recently, and there is a BOUNTY of excellent heart-flutter-inducing content out there. \*\*Crotchety old lady voice\*\*, "Why in myyyy day, all we had was horny Harry Potter fanfiction and *Buffy the Vampire Slayer*, kids today don't know how good they have it..." If you've got a reader in your life looking for teen WLW stories, may I suggest: - *[Love is for Losers](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52148580-love-is-for-losers?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \-* Wibke Brueggemann. A slow-burn romance set in the thrilling high-stakes world of British charity shops, featuring a lovably snarky fifteen year old. - *[Her Royal Highness](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41734205-her-royal-highness?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* \- Rachel Hawkins. Basically, if [the queer subtext from *Wicked*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dk3H2yvsH-U&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) was text. - The Simonverse series\- Becky Albertalli. Frothy, upbeat high school romances. I particularly liked *[Leah on the Offbeat](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/31180248-leah-on-the-offbeat?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F5)* about a deadpan bi drummer navigating friendship and first love. - *[Eight Pieces of Silva](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52186769-eight-pieces-of-silva?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* \- Patrice Lawrence. A nerdy K-pop-obsessed British teen trying to track down her missing stepsister using clues she finds hidden in her room. - *[Last Night at the Telegraph Club](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35224992-last-night-at-the-telegraph-club?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* \- Malinda Lo. A sumptous coming-of-age story set in 1950s San Francisco. - *[I Kissed Shara Wheeler](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58756420-i-kissed-shara-wheeler?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* \- Casey McQuiston. A delicious teen mystery/romcom about an ambitious valedictorian chasing down her missing rival and maybe love-interest, prom queen Shara Wheeler. And for MLM readers, I've been loving Adam Silvera's heartfelt novel about two boys who meet each other on the day they know they're both going to die, *[They Both Die at the End](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/33385229-they-both-die-at-the-end?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, and Dean Atta's emotional *[The Black Flamingo](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41020406-the-black-flamingo?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* about a London teen finding himself through drag. ## 4\. Melancholy Christmas music I've been weirdly loving this ["Melancholy Christmas" playlist](https://www.theguardian.com/music/2022/dec/06/santa-claus-best-christmas-songs-miserable-prince-marvin-gaye?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) from *The Guardian* exploring the sadder sounds of the holidays. Featuring maudlin hits by Sarah McLachlan and Sufjan Stevens and a version of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" that might actually crack your heart in two. Although, as a South African stuck in the frigid northern hemisphere far from many of my loved ones, no Christmas song hits me in the feels quite like [Tim Minchin's "White Wine in the Sun".](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCNvZqpa-7Q&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## 5\. Giving better gifts I often find giving gifts extremely stressful, because - SURPRISE - I tend to overthink things. Yes, I know, who'd have guessed. So I really appreciated [this very helpful video by Hannah Louise Poston](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtwqtgEeTWM&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) suggesting a lower-stress approach to gift-giving. She makes the point that a lot of us see gift giving as an attempt to solve a problem or meet an unmet need in someone else's life, and that's just too high-stakes a challenge. Instead, she suggests finding something that *they already consume*, and buying them an upgrade version of that thing. She offers examples of how this strategy can apply to different budgets and types of gift-receiver, and I found it extremely helpful. I'm always a fan of gifting experiences, especially things that you can do together. And gifting experiences can be free! The best gift I ever received was an itinerary for a "perfect day" walking around New York City, with instructions about exactly where to go at what time, suggestions for the best snacks to grab along the way, and fun facts about the places I'd be seeing. It was one of the most memorable days of my life, and it was a gift that cost nothing except the cost of the paper. Wishing you a cat to keep your lap warm, Sam ### What do sponges think about? URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/what-do-sponges-think-about/ Last updated: 2022-11-29T11:45:09.000Z Hello loves! I've spent the past few weeks deep in a ['finishing-edits-on-my-novel'](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/latest-projects/) hole, which has been indescribably fun but all-consuming. On that note, [*Girls of Little Hope* is now available to pre-order in the UK!](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Girls-Little-Hope-Dale-Halvorsen/dp/1803362073/ref=sr%5F1%5F1?crid=3J3VZKYLJ6WUF&keywords=girls+of+little+hope&qid=1669374601&sprefix=girls+of+little+hope%2Caps%2C645&sr=8-1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) EEEEEEEEEEEE! In other news I'm extremely pumped about, I've accepted an associate lecturer position for Bath Spa University's prestigious [MA in Writing for Young People](https://www.bathspa.ac.uk/courses/pg-writing-for-young-people/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) programme. It's a specialist, practical MA taught by lecturers who are all published children's writers and industry professionals, and it's produced many crops of award-winning writers. I've really missed teaching, and I'm so excited for the chance to get to \~\~corrupt\~\~ mentor emerging writers. Tweed jackets and elbow patches, here I come! Here are five things I wanted to share with you this week: ## 1\. Postcard time! Members, as is tradition, I would love to send you a little postcard to say thank you for your support this year. This year's artwork is by the brilliant [Careshia Steenkamp](https://www.cray-ative.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) on the theme of choosing kindness, and SPOILER, it's friggen adorable. There are only 100 of these beauties, and if you'd like one, all you need to do is [let me know where to send it.](https://forms.gle/uFneZW1SDfUEmM5W8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Get on it, fast, before they're gone! ## 2\. Glass Onion PLEASE do yourself a favour and go watch *Glass Onion (*the sequel to *Knives Out*) - it's at the cinema now and coming to Netflix on 23 December. You don't need to have watched *Knives Out* to enjoy it (but you should totally watch *Knives Out*). Think: campy murder-mystery on a private island; Ibizacore Agatha Christie with the most outrageous cast: ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/11/image.png) The less you know going in, the better. If you've already seen it, [here are my thoughts (beware, spoilers!).](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/glass-onion/) ## 3\. Metazoa My most recent obsession has been wondering what it feels like to be an invertebrate. This was prompted by reading Peter Godfrey-Smith's superb nonfiction epic, *[Metazoa: Animal Minds and the Birth of Consciousness](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/50403455-metazoa?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*. Godfrey-Smith is a scuba diver interested in what we can learn about consciousness from observing other animals; particularly animals which seem quite different to ourselves, like sponges and crustaceans. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/11/image-1.png) Through the book, he considers some of the building blocks of consciousness - selfhood, memory, sensation, co-ordination between different parts of a complex body - and argues that we find nascent versions of those abilities in more basic animals than we usually assume. Take, for instance, the question of whether lobsters feel pain: > A common argument against crustaceans feeling pain, an argument used also about various other animals, is a rather bad one. The argument is that crustaceans don't have the brain areas involved in human pain. But ... crustaceans also don't have brains with visual areas that are anything like ours, though they can plainly see. Evolution sometimes builds a range of different structures that carry out the same function. That applies clearly to vision, and is probable also for pain. What makes this book lovely to read, though, is how the philosophising is mixed in with lovely observational passages that made me want to immediately sign up for a scuba class: > You are swimming through something like a forest, surrounded by life. But in a forest, most of what you encounter is the product of a different evolutionary path: the plant path. In the sponge garden, most of what you see are animals. Most of those animals (all except the sponges themselves) have nervous systems, electrified threads that stretch through the body. These bodies shift and sneeze, reach and hesitate. Some react abruptly as you arrive. *Serpulid* worms look like tufts of orange feather fixed to the reef, but the feathers are lined with eyes, and they vanish if you come too close. One can imagine being in a green forest, and finding the trees sneezing and coughing, reaching out hands, glimpsing you with invisible eyes. A great follow-up to *Metazoa* is [this fantastic lecture by London School of Economics researcher Jonathan Birch](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwPkSAT2eMY&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) that describes how scientists might run experiments to test how "sentient" a specific animal is. I also enjoyed [this summary](There's not total agreement about this amongst scientists; they don't agree whether or not bees are conscious, for instance, and different researchers have advocated strong arguments both for and against. ) of what those experiments currently suggest about which animals are more conscious or less conscious (although they make the point that consciousness isn't a single sliding scale, but rather variations across multiple dimensions). In brief: we see strong evidence for consciousness in birds, some cephalopods (octopuses, squids), and most mammals. Experiments on creatures like bees are more mixed. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/11/image-2.png) Elephants, crows and crabs all have some type of conscious experience, but those experiences would all feel quite different, according to [Birch et al., 2020](https://www.cell.com/trends/cognitive-sciences/fulltext/S1364-6613%2820%2930192-3?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#relatedArticles) There's not total agreement about this amongst scientists, by the way. I find Birch's work pretty persuasive as someone who knows exactly nothing about this field, so take this all with a bucket of salt. If you enjoy *Metazoa*, Peter Godfrey-Smith's previous book *Other Minds* is also very good - a deep examination of what it's like to be an octopus. The magnificent sci-fi writer Adrian Tchaikovsky has a brilliant novel that riffs off this question called [*Children of Ruin*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40376072-children-of-ruin?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (the sequel to [*Children of Time*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/children-of-time/), one of my favourite novels of the year). And if you want to follow the rabbit hole into more radical ideas of what consciousness is, try *[Entangled Life](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52668915-entangled-life?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F14)* (pondering the intelligence of fungal networks) and *[Galileo's Error](https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/43069288?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* (a full-on defence of [panpsychism](https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/panpsychism/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), the trippy but possibly valid theory that all matter is conscious). ## 4\. Loop There's a new episode of [*Take Back the Day*](https://www.takebacktheday.co/64?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)out, where Simon and I talk about Twitter, Mary Oliver poems, and ways of thinking about regret. For our next episode, he's challenged me to try a breathwork class, so if anyone has good online suggestions (or real-life classes in North London), please send them my way! ## 5\. Billionaire meltdowns Have any of you been following the [fall of former crypto-wunderkind billionaire altruism boy Sam Bankman-Fried](https://www.vox.com/the-goods/23458837/sam-bankman-fried-ftx-sbf-downfall-explained?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#:~:text=A%20week%20ago%2C%20Sam%20Bankman,quickly%20found%20favor%20in%20Washington.)??? It's my favourite soap opera right now. Every time I learn a new detail of the story it's just more bananas. The fact that he was [playing League of Legends while pitching to Sequoia Capital over Zoom](https://web.archive.org/web/20221027180951/https://www.sequoiacap.com/article/sam-bankman-fried-spotlight/) (and they gave him $150m!), the theory that he might have [melted his brain taking Parkinson's medication as a stimulant](Parkinson’s disease), how he's increasingly just [going off the rails in interviews with journalists](https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/23462333/sam-bankman-fried-ftx-cryptocurrency-effective-altruism-crypto-bahamas-philanthropy?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) admitting that all of his so-called noble intentions were mostly just a mask. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/11/image-8.png) An extract from [a conversation](https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/23462333/sam-bankman-fried-ftx-cryptocurrency-effective-altruism-crypto-bahamas-philanthropy?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) between Vox's [Kelsey Piper](https://www.vox.com/authors/kelsey-piper?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and SBF (Thanks to my buddy Seb for keeping me supplied with juicy SBF links). God, it's all just so cynical. SBF's money is EVERYWHERE (he was the second largest individual donor to Joe Biden's presidential campaign, and he's a major funder of many major effective altruism projects) and it's going to take a long time to untangle that influence. What a world! \-- Wishing you a joyful subjective experience of your own mind, Sam Psst... last time, [don't forget to let me know how to send you a postcard!](https://forms.gle/uFneZW1SDfUEmM5W8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ### Okay but for real, how great is Glass Onion? URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/glass-onion/ Last updated: 2022-11-29T11:50:44.000Z **This is a brief spoiler-filled discussion of *Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery.* Don't read this until you've watched the movie!** Bless Rian Johnson for founding one of the most fun, original and timely franchises of our day. Apart from being a damn hoot, I just adore what *Knives Out* is saying about criminality and class. If the first film was all about old money and the paranoid intra-family inheritance battles that allow it to sustain itself; the second film is about new money: each of our suspects are "self-made" influencers. Of course, the irony is that they're not self-made at all, just capable self-mythologisers, ultimately puppeted by the mythologiser-in-chief, Edward Norton's deliciously smarmy take on a Jobs-Musk-Bankman-Fried-hybrid, Miles Bron. Murder Mystery, as a genre, has always been most interested in the deaths of the mega-wealthy. [Literary theorist Franco Moretti](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/307491.Atlas%5Fof%5Fthe%5FEuropean%5FNovel?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) once did a fascinating exercise when he overlaid the crimes investigated by Sherlock Holmes over Charles Booth's real crime map of Victorian London, and found that they were exact opposites: the only crimes of **fictional** interest were the least common ones - the ones in rich areas: > \[T\]here is a deep symbolic logic behind those two Londons. Booth's criminal world is the nearly inevitable result of urban poverty: **it is a visible, widespread reality, which has absolutely not mystery about it**. For detective fiction, however, crime must be precisely an enigma: an unheard-of event, a 'case', an 'adventure'. And these things require a very different setting from the \[poorer\] East End: they need fancy hotels, mansions overlooking the park, great banks, diplomatic secrets...It's the old London of privilege, that we encounter in detective fiction: the same streets, the same houses and squares of silver-fork novels. (Moretti, *Atlas of the European Novel: 1800-1900, 1997; emphasis mine)* What I so appreciate about *Glass Onion* is its point about how our legal system is utterly incapable of prosuecting the true crimes of the mega-rich. The individual murder our protagonists are investigating - Andi Brand's - is only a side-effect of a much bigger crime: pushing a dangerous untested fuel-source into the market before properly understanding its impacts. Both Daniel Craig's Benoit Blanc and Janelle Monáe's Helen Brand understand that the traditional justice system is useless in the face of corporate crimes of that scale (incapable even, of prosecuting someone rich enough to buy their way out of the crime of murder). The only alternative is to ruin their reputation; to literally blow shit up. Sherlock Holmes was a *private* detective. He implies, multiple times, that he doesn't particularly care whether guilty people are punished - he's just aesthetically pleased by solving a mystery. Benoit Blanc, on the other hand, *does* care about justice - even if the only way to achieve it is through a little destruction. How magnificently prescient of Rian Johnson to have released a film about burning the Mona Lisa a month after real-life [Just Stop Oil activists threw soup onto a Van Gogh painting](https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2022/oct/14/just-stop-oil-activists-throw-soup-at-van-goghs-sunflowers?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)! Of course, exploding things is a deeply nihilistic solution, and in the real world I believe we have to find ways to *reform* corrupt systems. But hell, what a joyously angry, deliciously cathartic thing to see on film. More *Knives Out* movies, please! Last thing, isn't it nuts how soon the Covid 19 lockdown sections have come to feel like a period piece? I was choking on my popcorn laughing at the perfectly-recalled Among Us Zoom parties and wildly different takes on mask etiquette. ### Spooky season URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/spooky-season/ Last updated: 2022-10-28T15:16:13.000Z Hello loves! Greetings from the UK, where it feels like we've had sixteen prime ministers since Tuesday. At least it's October, which is the time England is the most beautiful, all crunching leaves and spicy smells and cosy knitwear. I've been spending a lot of time walking around the parks, marvelling at how each leaf is an entirely different colour, and working on the last (???) round of edits on *[Girls of Little Hope](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/latest-projects/),* eee! Here are five things I wanted to share with you this week. ## 1\. Horror movies 'Tis the season for horror movies! This has been a great year for fun nail-biters. My top recommendation is *[Nope](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10954984/?ref%5F=fn%5Fal%5Ftt%5F1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, the third feature film from horror genius Jordan Peele. The less you know about this one the better, just know it's worth seeing on the big screen. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/10/image.png) If you MUST watch a trailer, [watch this one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gG2CUcsX-60&ab%5Fchannel=IGN&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), NOT the spoilery longer one. I can also recommend the new instalment in the *Predator* franchise, *[Prey](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11866324/?ref%5F=nv%5Fsr%5Fsrsg%5F0&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* (on Disney+) - about a Comanche warrior trying to save her tribe from an alien hunting them for sport. It's a satisfying, full-throttle action movie with heart, and MOST IMPORTANTLY it co-stars [the very best pupperoo](https://screenrant.com/prey-movie-dog-animal-shelter-response/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a former shelter-dog named Coco, who I would kill any number of murderous aliens for. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/10/image-1.png) DO NOT FEAR, COCO SURVIVES THE MOVIE There's also *[Bodies, Bodies, Bodies](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8110652/?ref%5F=fn%5Fal%5Ftt%5F1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com),* an acerbic horror-comedy about rich Gen Zs playing a game of Werewolf/Murder in the Dark in an isolated mansion... until people start getting murdered for real. It's based on a story by Kristen Roupenian, who wrote the brilliant *New Yorker* short story ["Cat Person"](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/12/11/cat-person?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It goes slightly off the rails in the last third, but it's a cracker. Notable mentions to *[All My Friends Hate Me](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt9340892/?ref%5F=nv%5Fsr%5Fsrsg%5F0&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* (basically "Social Anxiety, the Horror Movie"), the 2022 *[Scream](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11245972/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com),* and horror-comedy mockumentary *[When the Screaming Starts](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11299422/?ref%5F=nv%5Fsr%5Fsrsg%5F0&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*. I haven't had a chance to see them yet, but my own Halloween viewing plans include *[Men](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt13841850/?ref%5F=nv%5Fsr%5Fsrsg%5F0&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, *[Hatching](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt12519030/?ref%5F=fn%5Fal%5Ftt%5F1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [The Innocents](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4028464/?ref%5F=nv%5Fsr%5Fsrsg%5F0&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, *[Barbarian](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt15791034/?ref%5F=nv%5Fsr%5Fsrsg%5F0&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, and *[Smile](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt15474916/?ref%5F=nv%5Fsr%5Fsrsg%5F0&ref=sambeckbessinger.com).* ## 2\. Wilding One of the people I most love having conversations with is my longtime collaborator, friend and business partner [Simon Dingle](https://simon.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Occasionally (like, whenever we remember) we record those conversations and put them on the internet. Our podcast *[Take Back The Day](https://www.takebacktheday.co/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* has been running for almost a decade, and it's where we talk about how we work, why we work, the other things we do when we SHOULD be working.It's loose and rambly, which I know isn't everyone's jam, but if it IS your jam, you can find it wherever you listen to your podcasts ;) [In our latest episode](https://www.takebacktheday.co/63?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), we speak about the Chris Smith documentary *[Jim & Andy](https://www.netflix.com/gb/title/80209608?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* and how we are all pretending to be other people sometimes, and about the wonderful book *[Wilding: The Return to Nature of a British Farm](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/38891828-wilding?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, by Isabella Tree. [Listen here](https://www.takebacktheday.co/63?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## 3\. Nick Cave Crash Course I saw [Japanese Breakfast](https://www.instagram.com/jbrekkie/?hl=en&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) earlier this week at the 02 in Kentish Town. I felt tragically under-prepared, so my dear friend Maya made me a "JBrekkie crash course" playlist, with accompanying liner notes about what makes each song brilliant. It was so sweet and generous that I felt I should pay the favour forward for a friend I dragged along to see one of MY faves, Nick Cave. So, if you also happen to be Cave-curious but don't know where to begin with his 40-year+ discography, [here are ten songs](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/a-nick-cave-crash-course/) to start you off. Side-note: in addition to being an extraordinary musician, Japanese Breakfast's frontwoman Michelle Zauner also wrote a New York Times bestselling memoir, *Crying in H Mart*, about grieving her mother over Korean food (honestly, it's RUDE for one person to be so multi-talented). She released the first chapter as a superb essay, [which you can read here.](https://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/crying-in-h-mart?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## 4\. The Scholomance Trilogy ![The Scholomance trilogy by Naomi Novik](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/10/image-2.png) It has been a looooong time since I stayed up until 4am on a school-night because I couldn't stop reading a book. Thank you/fuck you to Naomi Novik for breaking that streak with her utterly moreish [Scholomance trilogy](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/50548197-a-deadly-education?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), about a magical school for teenagers that has a 25% survival rate. Brilliant characters, tight plotting, an expansive (and logical) magical world, and chest-clutching cliff-hangers... I literally couldn't put these down. Highly recommend, unless if you need to sleep. ## 5\. Yao Lu London's [Science Museum](https://www.sciencemuseum.org.uk/home?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) has a great free exhibition on about the history of Science Fiction, including Daleks, original *Star Trek* uniforms, illustrated HG Wells' first editions and more. My favourite discovery there was the work of photographer [Yao Lu](http://www.artnet.com/artists/yao-lu/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). At first glance, they look like classical Chinese paintings, but peer closer, and you see that they're photographic collages of environmental destruction. What looked like a mountain, is a plastic fishing net covering a garbage pile. They're very moving. [You can see them here.](http://www.artnet.com/artists/yao-lu/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Wishing you cosy knitwear and a good night's sleep, Sam ### A Nick Cave Crash Course URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/a-nick-cave-crash-course/ Last updated: 2022-10-28T15:21:32.000Z Nick Cave is one of my favourite, favourite musicians: a dark crooner, a twisted lyricist, a rogue magic-man. But the guy's been making music for over four decades, so it can be hard to know what of his extensive backlog to listen to first. Before I dragged off one of my buddies to see [Nick Cave talk at the Southbank Centre](https://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whats-on/nick-cave-sean-ohagan-faith-hope-and-carnage?eventId=915035&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), I made him a playlist of 10 classic Cave songs to give him a taster. I'm sharing here in case you're also Cave-curious and don't know where to begin. Of course, this list in no way purports to be objective or even particularly representative of his expansive body of work (not a single one of his soundtrack collaborations with Warren Ellis!) - they're just songs that *I* like, and why I like them. ## *Red Right Hand* Quintessential Cave. A dark and brooding tale of a very creepy man... BUT, PLOT TWIST! The creepy dude is God. The phrase "red right hand" comes from Milton's *Paradise Lost* and the joke is that if you take some religious beliefs literally, the God they're describing is pretty terrifying. ## *No Pussy Blues* At some point in the 80s Nick Cave grew a moustache and couldn't get laid for a while. He wrote this song about it. That's really all there is to this one 😹 This is a taste of the heavier rock & roll/punk sound of his early career. ## *Do You Love Me?* This is the best of the Cave subgenre I'd call "twisted love songs". A song about the pain of knowing you love someone more than they love you. Fun to pair with *Loverman* (same album) which is like this song's darker mirror image. ## *Stagger Lee* From the album "Murder Ballads", which is pretty Johnny Cash-ish, full of American folk story-stongs about murderers in the Wild West. Stagger Lee is deliciously grisly, about a "bad motherfucker" going on a killing spree. In the live version, Cave adds a final verse where the devil comes to collect his soul and Stagger Lee shoots the devil too, just because he's that much of a badass. ## *Tupelo* On the night Elvis Presley was born (in the Mississippi town of Tupelo) there was a terrible flood, and his twin brother died in childbirth. Cave tells this story in a way that makes Elvis's coming feel apocalyptic: "the beast it cometh, cometh down". Some deliciously dark, Biblical lyrics in this one. ("Well Saturday gives what Sunday steals / And a child is born on his brothers heels / Sunday morn and the first-born dead / In a shoebox tied with a ribbon of red"). ## *O Children* This is 2000s Cave, once he'd mellowed out a bit, pure Gospel. To me, it feels like a song about regretting the mistakes of your own generation, and hoping that the next one makes better choices. Relatable. ## *The Ship Song* A song about love that destroys you, in the best way. I'M NOT CRYING, YOU'RE CRYING. ## *Jubilee Street* This is from the album *Push the Sky Away* (2013), which includes repeated mentions of the CERN collider and the Higgs boson (the "God particle"). I read "Jubilee Street" as being about the hypocrisies of some aspects of organised religion (told from the perspective from a sex worker in Brighton), in contrast with the pure transcendence of direct spiritual experience. Cave often closes his live acts with this song. Usually, by this point, he's pulled about 50 people on stage and everyone is weeping and holding each other, like an evangelical revival. The song builds and builds, and by the end where he's yelling out, "I'm transforming, I'm vibrating, look at me now..." it feels like the whole crowd has become a single organism vibrating with his music. It is honestly one of the most transcendent spiritual experiences I've ever had. ## Ghosteen This is the title song from the album he wrote about (and to) his son Arthur, who tragically died at age fifteen. It's stripped bare, musically, unornamented, and it sounds like a prayer to Arthur's ghost. Heartbreaking. --- I've left off some of what I think are his best songs (*The Mercy Seat*, *The Carny*) because they're a bit... weirder. But if you enjoy this playlist, those are the ones to try next! ### The Autumn of Longevity URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-autumn-of-longevity/ Last updated: 2022-09-23T13:22:26.000Z *Since AI art dominated the last newsletter, I thought it would be fun to showcase some art from YOU ACTUAL HUMAN readers. Today's cover image is by extremely brilliant artist [Careshia Esperanza](https://www.instagram.com/cray%5Fative/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (hi Careshia!). She also does [entirely adorable pet portraits](https://www.cray-ative.com/harryandco?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which make superb gifts. *If you're a profesh artist/illustrator who subscribes to this newsletter and you'd like to show off some of your work, hit me up!** --- Hello loves! Happy equinox! There are now 99 days left of 2022\. That's enough time to [form 1.5 new healthy habits](https://jamesclear.com/new-habit?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#:~:text=On%20average%2C%20it%20takes%20more,to%20form%20a%20new%20habit.), [learn the foundations of a new skill](https://www.forbes.com/sites/danschawbel/2013/05/30/josh-kaufman-it-takes-20-hours-not-10000-hours-to-learn-a-skill/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (if you spend 90 minutes per week on it), or go on 14 once-a-week lunch dates with a person you care about. I like to set "themes" for every season, and I'm calling this my ["Autumn of Longevity"](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/life-themes/), trying to build good routines around physical and mental health. Basically, I've spent a lot of time recently slathering SPF on my face and throwing myself at bouldering walls. I've also been hard at work on [the final round of edits for *Girls of Little Hope*](https://www.instagram.com/p/CixbaEkqGlG/?utm%5Fsource=ig%5Fweb%5Fbutton%5Fshare%5Fsheet)(eee!) and trudging through my second novel, *[Snarltooth](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/latest-projects/)*. Here are five other things that have made my week: ## 1\. Talking about money and Gen Z's I had a great time chatting with veteran business journalist Alishia Seckam about the unique money challenges faced by young people in South Africa, for the PSG Think Big series. The starting point for our discussion was how crucial it is to have empathy for how much pressure Gen Z's are under. We also discussed focusing on the basics when it comes to financial education and tips for spotting a get-rich-quick scheme. You can [watch the whole talk here,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAxsNOiTDeI&t=711s&ab%5Fchannel=PSGKonsult&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or [read a summary of the highlights over at IOL](https://www.iol.co.za/personal-finance/my-money/gen-zers-need-a-practical-approach-to-money-management-says-financial-expert-509f1539-1f34-4190-b673-2545233ae8d6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ## 2\. The Queen's funeral It's been a strange time to be an immigrant in the UK. The late queen's face is plastered everywhere, including on, like, the self-service checkout screen at the Tesco's. I've been surprised (and moved) by the sincere level of grief felt by people, even people my age who I'm fairly sure are steadfast republicans (in the British sense, i.e. people who think the monarchy is a silly idea). If you didn't grow up here, I think it's hard to imagine how important a symbol the queen has been for people throughout their lives. It's like everyone's grandma just died. Laurie Penny captured this extremely well in their brilliant essay for *GQ* \- ["14 Hours in the Queue to See Queen Elizabeth's Coffin"](https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/politics/article/the-queue-queen-elizabeth?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (which my friend Lauren sent me): > Grief has been thick in the air in this country for years. We’ve been through two years of collective trauma that we haven’t processed... That pain and loss and hurt have to go somewhere. And the ailing Queen seemed to represent everything that was slowly slipping away and could not yet be grieved. It’s hard enough losing a person. There aren’t even words for what we have lost, and knowing that others have it far worse makes none of it better. How do you mourn an era? Of course, there's some dissonance, because me and many of my friends living here are from places of the world who have somewhat *different* associations with the institution of the British Crown. So the books I've been suggesting to my English friends who've asked (they learn remarkably little about the British Empire at school) include Sathnam Sanghera's excellent [*Empireland*](Sathnam Sanghera)*,* Namwali Serpell's novel [*The Old Drift*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40060700-the-old-drift?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=f0sgW25oyt&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and Caroline Elkins' book about Britain's gulags in Kenya in the 1950s, [*Imperial Reckoning*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/197327.Imperial%5FReckoning?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=C71ATZOA0j&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)(the book led to [a court case in 2012](https://www.theguardian.com/news/2016/aug/18/uncovering-truth-british-empire-caroline-elkins-mau-mau?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) that resulted in 5,228 Kenyans receiving financial compensation, and the foreign secretary for the first time ever publicly apologising for torture carried out in the name of the British Empire)*.* ## 3\. Totally watching television I've been feeling pretty exhausted recently, so I've retreated to my favourite no-energy activity: watching just an absolute fuck-ton of TV. I tore through *[Trying](https://tv.apple.com/us/show/trying/umc.cmc.6muy4la7lj1omu5nci4bt2m66?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, an Apple TV+ comedy about a Camden couple trying to adopt a kid, which was saved from being saccharine by also being very funny. I squealed out loud in joy every two minutes watching the long-awaited Netflix adaptation of *[The Sandman](https://www.netflix.com/gb/title/81150303?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*. And thrilled in every minute rewatching the criminally underrated American telenovela *[Jane the Virgin](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2018/03/12/jane-the-virgin-is-not-a-guilty-pleasure?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*. It's reminded me of a delightful Ron Padgett poem I discovered through [Austin Kleon](https://austinkleon.com/2017/12/31/totally-watching-television/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/09/image-3.png) ## 4\. A Good Man is Hard to Find I was working on a blog post about how comedy works in fiction, so I decided to re-read one of my favourite short stories, ["A Good Man is Hard to Find"](https://repositorio.ufsc.br/bitstream/handle/123456789/160332/A%20good%20man%20is%20hard%20to%20find%20-%20Flannery%20O%27Connor.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Flannery O'Connor, first published in 1953\. The weird thing is that I'd filed the story in my head as being screamingly funny. And it is... but I'd entirely forgotten that it's also *disturbing as heck.* It's a simple story: a family of six start driving from Georgia to Florida to visit relatives, but things go horribly wrong. The humour mostly derives from the grandmother protagonist, who is a thoroughly horrible person who believes she is a very good person. The story is a masterclass in pacing, comedic rhythm, and the slow building of dread. You might have read it in high school, but I recommend reading it again. It's brilliant, hilarious, deeply disturbing, and easy to find online. ## 5\. Against nihilism Finally, I utterly adored [this short video by John Green, "Against Nihilism"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbyeApgIiBk&ab%5Fchannel=vlogbrothers&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). I'll leave you with this (related) quote from Lois McMaster Bujold (*The Borders of Infinity*): > “Now, there's this about cynicism, Sergeant. It's the universe's most supine moral position. Real comfortable. If nothing can be done, then you're not some kind of shit for not doing it, and you can lie there and stink to yourself in perfect peace." Wishing you an excellent final 99 days of 2022, Sam ### Girls of Little Hope - coming 2023 URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/girls-of-little-hope-coming-2023/ Last updated: 2022-09-16T16:30:58.000Z FRIENDS, BRACE YOURSELVES. I HAVE THE MOST EXCITING THING TO SHOW YOU. Wait for it... ... ... ... ... ... its... the cover of my first novel! ![Girls of Little Hope by Dale Halvorsen and Sam Beckbessinger](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/09/CRIG_GOLH.jpg) *Girls of Little Hope* is a novel I wrote with one of my dearest friends Dale Halvorsen. It's coming out in 2023 with Titan Books in the UK and Jonathan Ball in South Africa, and I'm *utterly beside myself* with joy. I talk about big audacious dreams and how essential it is to prioritise them. Well, writing a novel has always been mine. *Girls of Little Hope* is a story about two teenage girls searching for their missing best friend, and instead stumbling on a much stranger secret that will change their lives forever. It's riot-grrrl body horror set in the 90s about the monstrousness of adolescence and finding your way back to your friends. I can't bloody wait for you all to read it. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I'll share more soon! xx Sam ### Experiments in AI URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/experiments-in-ai/ Last updated: 2022-08-26T08:28:44.000Z Hello loves! Here are five things I wanted to share with you this week. ## 1\. It's all fun and games until someone loses an AI... Well, it's happened, the robots have officially come for my job: the new generation of AI writing tools is astoundingly good. I'm feeling great about it, honestly, since I'm a lazy possum who doesn't really like working anyway. So I got an AI to write a whole blog post for me. It came out... okay? [Read it here.](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/tips-from-an-ai-for/) [10 ways to inflation-proof your budget (tips from an AI)I got an AI to write a blog post for me. Let’s see how it did.![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/size/w256h256/2020/04/social-icon.png)Sam BeckbessingerSam Beckbessinger![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/08/cost-of-living.jpeg)](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/tips-from-an-ai-for/) I've also been fooling around making art with Midjourney (my favourite AI art tool). This feels like magic: you just type in a prompt, and BOOM, art! ![The city of Johannesburg as a setting in a Jodorwsky film created by Midjourney](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/08/spam_jodorowsky_johannesburg_62ee5ff1-5866-4a96-b98f-6843f53251a6.png) The city of Johannesburg as a setting in a Jodorwsky film, created by an AI (Midjourney) What I particularly love about Midjourney is that you're in a chat with a bunch of other strangers all making art together in real-time, and people riff off each other's ideas. Like someone in my chat started making Marge Simpson as Mr Potato Head, and someone else was making Mona Lisa derivatives, then some absolute genius combined them into Marge Simpson Potato Oil Painting, to create this magnificent thing. It feels like improv jazz. ![Four oil paintings of Marge Simpson as a potato](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/08/skyrsp_Marge_Simpson_holding_a_potato_in_the_style_of_an_oil_pa_755c67cf-c3df-4f01-b65c-3d9f4ec8a532.png) Marge Simpson Potato Oil Painting, created by @skyrsp and Midjourney and Matt Groening and Leonardo da Vinci maybe, and the difficulty of attributing AI art is a fascinating new cultural dilemma! If you want to try it out yourself, I wrote a simple guide to getting started with Midjourney, even if you don't think of yourself as very tech savvy. It's really super-easy! [A simple guide to making AI art with MidjourneyA simple guide to making AI art with Midjourney... for total beginners![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/size/w256h256/2020/04/social-icon.png)Sam BeckbessingerSam Beckbessinger![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/08/spam_burlesque_kermit_the_frog_degas_b71ad4aa-608c-48ff-b4a3-1a9f4aa1d251-1.png)](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-to-make-ai-art-with-midjourney/) I'm being lighthearted about all this, but I do believe that the world is going to need to have some robust conversations, ASAP, about how we compensate people for the original creative labour that AI products derive from. Is it time for a tech-funded universal basic income, maybe? How does copyright law need to evolve, and can we invent new royalties systems for artists whose work is used in derivative work? Either way, it's become obvious that regulators, legal experts and business leaders [get up to speed with the benefits and risks of AI, pronto](https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/24/technology/ai-technology-progress.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), because it's very quickly moved from a near-future potentially disruptive technology to a **[disrupting things right now](https://techcrunch.com/2022/08/24/deepfakes-for-all-uncensored-ai-art-model-prompts-ethics-questions/?guccounter=1&guce%5Freferrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce%5Freferrer%5Fsig=AQAAADzneOiZ%5F7onATkNwhPYRhnCObt1gO6kplvJhN8KTqn8KA5QKhZ5BKSGCLlWxtZIiS-wf0oHJnREJU-mdcoaqOIIpeVKr-XBcOr1N0YU4ytcUVqFy6hU%5FsFBETBJoRmA8KBApChwCHyvYANKZJgN5D3AnV4bgPJkueztvaNOugIR&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** technology. That said, I'm generally optimistic about what AI is going to do for the world, and I'm mostly just curious about what the next generation of writers and artists is going to make with this stuff. When photography was invented, painters stressed that their skills at accurately representing the world were no longer needed. But then the next generation invented modernism and conceptual art. I have no idea what crazy art the kids who grow up with these tools are going to make, but I'm excited to find out. ## 2\. PSG Think Big Series I'm hosting a free webinar on 30 August 2022 with the PSG Think Big Series, talking about managing finances in a Gen Z world. I'm anticipating a rich discussion with veteran financial journalist Alishia Seckam about how money management looks different for the generation of young people entering the world of work today. We'll be keeping it quick and simple, please join us! [Register here.](https://www.psg.co.za/news-and-publications/events-and-webinars?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## 3\. Awful tech CEOs As research for my second novel, I've been collecting stories of awful CEO behaviour. And BOY have I come across some doozies. My absolute favourite was this [portrait of the founder of American Aparrel Dov Charney](https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/sep/10/american-apparel-dov-charney-sexual-harassment?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) who was eventually fired for serial allegations of sexual harassment. The journalist who wrote this deserves a bloody Pulitzer, because of how she gets him to reveal himself over the course of one interview. Honestly, it's just masterful, please read it! Other highlights of the genre include [this article about Dan Price](https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/18/technology/dan-price-resign-social-media.html?unlocked%5Farticle%5Fcode=AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACEIPuonUktbfqYhkQFUaCybJUNMnqBqCgvfeh7A1gDrmNimeRHNYwv8UDI7F4EDGZKNnIt4-0zWSAt9dNbtlDNpD8thiBW0%5FAQ-5vsnD350fPyQ-rY%5F0AW9nj8PHALp9qGXkPyzkdu5zgbTh4kvDbzLhC%5FDVhnwhdl5vsoIlIQ%5FxoQEAwK%5FBEudz0tFsj7x2Vt0hG2B2NGTdtOLoCh5-JNyMchnXjwA1UOleUjrY9sWOv%5FNCKE4BTAKbEw4spDo0-9heO9gIPabgLhVGecL2gbkZCWwAP57Cf8ol2zx%5FLqqikJx6DiRb&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a CEO who used social media to paint a picture of himself as a champion of workers' rights as cover for luring in young women, *[Bad Blood](https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/bad-blood-the-final-chapter/id1575738174?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, a book/podcast about Elizabeth Holmes of Theranos, and *[WeCrashed](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt12005128/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, a TV show dramatisation of the rise and fall of WeWork's narcissist CEO Adam Neumann, available on Apple TV+. I think I love these portraits because I worked in tech for a long time, and saw first-hand how many predatory narcissists thrived in that environment. There's something fascinating to me about a character who believes that they're doing something so big and important that the ethics of how they live their day-to-day lives don't matter, you know? Related: **women+ readers**, do you have any utterly infuriating stories of things that have happened to in the workplace that you'd be happy for me to crib for my novel? Hit 'reply' to this email and tell me! I'm looking for "asshole dude stole my idea and presented it as his in the big meeting"-type stories rather than stories of actual assault, please, my heart can't take it 💛 ## 4\. Tree walks My favourite activity on earth is to listen to someone who's a big ol' nerd about something teach me about their topic of interest, so I spent Sunday with my tree-obsessed buddy Nic showing me around some of his favourite London trees. He showed me how to identify the London Plane (camo bark, maple leaves, spiky seed balls), oaks and cherries (a little cluster of nodes on the tip of each branch), and how to spot signs of the leaf miner larvae that's blighting most of England's conker trees. We went to Abney Park (my second-favourite London cemetery) and traced the work of George Loddiges, one of London's great 19th-century gardeners, who collected trees from all around the world and bred strange new hybrids. ![An old etching of the Loddiges palmarium](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/08/Pasted-image-20220825090308.png) The Loddiges palmarium - Hackney Archives It's a pleasure learning new names for things. Names for different types of leaves: compound, palmate, lobed, asymmetric, heart-shaped, pinnate, fine-toothed, lanceolate. The petiole, the little stem that attached a leaf to a branch. The difference between an ancient tree and a veteran tree (all ancient trees are veterans, but veterans can also be younger trees that have sustained damage and now support an abundance of wildlife). Naming gives you language, and it also helps you to slow down and properly look at something. Maybe I've just done too many psychedelics in my life, but I'm entirely convinced that forests have a type of sentience that we don't understand. My favourite books about this topic: *[Entangled Life](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52668915-entangled-life?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* by Merlin Sheldrake, *The [Overstory](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40180098-the-overstory?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* by Richard Powers, and *[Finding the Mother Tree](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/54976983-finding-the-mother-tree?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* by Suzanne Simard. ## 5\. Wet Leg Lastly, thanks to my pal Matthew who sent me this banging cover of 'Smoko' (The Chats) by one of my current fave bands, Wet Leg. You should know that 'Smoko' is Ozzie slang for 'smoke break'. If you haven't heard it, Wet Leg's, "[Chaise Longue](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zd9jeJk2UHQ&ab%5Fchannel=WetLegVEVO&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)" was probably my fave song of 2021. Wishing you Potato Marge Simpsons, and a living wage for making art, Sam ### A simple guide to making AI art with Midjourney URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-to-make-ai-art-with-midjourney/ Last updated: 2022-08-25T14:13:33.000Z **Midjourney** is currently my favourite way to create AI art. All you need to do is enter in a prompt, say, "burlesque Kermit the Frog as painted by Degas", and an AI will make art for you. It feels like magic! Midjourney is super easy to use, even if you don't consider yourself very tech-savvy. Just follow these simple steps to start generating some AI monstrosities of your own. ## 1\. Create a Discord account You interact with Midjourney using a chat app called Discord (it's a bit like WhatsApp or Microsoft Teams). Go the the Discord link: [https://discord.com/](https://discord.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Either download the app to your computer or click "open Discord in your browser" (either's fine). Sign up for an account. ## 2\. Join the Midjourney Beta Go to the Midjourney website: [https://www.midjourney.com/home/](https://www.midjourney.com/home/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Click "Join the beta". ![A screenshot of the Midjourney website](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/08/Midjourney.png) ![The Midjourney invite on Discord](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/08/midjourney2.png) This will open Discord. Accept the invite from Midjourney. (If there's a message about Student hubs or something, just skip it and get to the good stuff). ## 3\. Create your first image ![A screenshot of the Discord Midjourney getting-started screen](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/08/midjourney3.png) Once you're in Discord, you'll see a screen that looks like this. The list of names on the left of the screen are different channels you can switch between (like public chat rooms, if you're old enough to remember chatrooms). You will have been randomly allocated to two groups called "newbies-" and a number. Click into either of your "newbies-" rooms. Now you'll be able to see creations your fellow newbies are working on. Honestly, half the fun of Midjourney is marvelling at the odd ideas of other people (and riffing off them!). ![A screenshot of Midjourney in Discord](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/08/midjourney4.png) In the message box at the bottom of the screen, type "imagine/" and hit enter. Then, type in whatever you want to visualise. ![A text prompt reading: /imagine PROMPT steampunk Hobbiton](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/08/image-5.png) Midjourney will then generate four low-res ideas for your prompt. Here's what it generated for me: ![Steampunk Hobbiton from Midjourney, four options](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/08/spam_steampunk_Hobbiton_2eba3412-5953-4556-94ec-06fda44728da.png) And underneath the images, you'll see these buttons: ![Buttons saying U1 - U4 and V1 to V4](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/08/image-6.png) "U" means, "upscale that image". "V" means, "give me variations of that image". I like the first image the most (the one in the top-left of the grid) so I'll click "U1". That gives me a bigger, more detailed version of that image: ![steampunk hobbiton high-res from Midjourney](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/08/spam_steampunk_Hobbiton_191d061c-4db1-4cd0-83da-0dc812aee9d3.png) Steampunk Hobbiton, in full glorious detail! When you've created something you like, click on it to zoom in, then right-click and "Save image as..." to save it to your desktop. ## 4\. Enjoy your free credits! You get 25 free images from Midjourney. If you want to play more, you need to sign up for a paid account ($10 or $30 per month). Once you've mastered the basics, [here's a tutorial](https://midjourney.gitbook.io/docs/imagine-parameters?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about the advanced parameters Midjourney supports. Have fun getting weird! ### The mundane joys of relationship in-jokes and deep-cleaning your house URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-joy-of-long-relationships-and-deep-cleaning-your-house/ Last updated: 2022-08-19T15:09:02.000Z Hello loves! I've just come back from hiking in Wales, which was utterly magical. We explored the skeletal ruins of a 13th century monastery (Tintern Abbey), wild-camped in a literal bower, got stung by nettles, befriended a field mouse named Ned, and found a tiny village that had only three shops, one of which was a shop devoted to the care of your pet tortoise (essential). Back in the city, I've been thinking a lot about mundane joys, like the small in-jokes you share with a long-term partner and the satisfaction of deep-cleaning your house. On that note, here are five mundanely delightful things I wanted to share with you this week! ## 1\. The intimacies of long-term couplehood My favourite thing I read this week was this Twitter thread by Nell Frizzell about [the mundane joys of long-term relationships](https://twitter.com/NellFrizzell/status/1559819881058549762?s=20&t=XoKIqjGm7h%5FK%5F2sxdlPXYg&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It's people sharing their favourite silly in-jokes after decades of marriage, the private language that develops, how you can know another person so well that you can predict exactly which brand of socks they'd pick out in a shop. > COUPLES: I am writing about the joy and mundanity of long term relationships. The shared socks, conversations through toilet doors, inherited cousins, shelves, potato bodies, sex scheduled like dental appointments and familiar meals. Tell me: what’s great about the long haul. > > — Nell Frizzell (@NellFrizzell) [August 17, 2022](https://twitter.com/NellFrizzell/status/1559819881058549762?ref%5Fsrc=twsrc%5Etfw&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) It led me to [this utterly wonderful poem by Ada Limón](https://www.ft.com/content/ac7c2766-2313-11e9-8ce6-5db4543da632?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which made me feel so many feelings. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/08/image-3.png) ## 2\. Uncoupled ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/08/image.png) I've been enjoying this frothy *Netflix* show about a New York real estate agent having to figure out dating in his 40s after his boyfriend of 17 years suddenly leaves him. He has to figure out Grindr etiquette while nursing his heartbreak and trading quips with his friends over $100 lunches. The episodes are short, funny, and sweet, Neil Patrick Harris is a treasure, and I want his business partner Suzanne (Tisha Campbell) to get her own spin-off series. It feels very much like a 2022 gay *Sex and the City* (which makes sense since it was co-created by Darren Star), with similar problems and similar delights. ## 3\. The Story Corner ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/08/image-1.png) SO CUTE! I DIE! I so enjoyed seeing the sweet nods to my Book Dash story *[Hippo Wants to Dance](https://bookdash.org/books/hippo-wants-to-dance/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* on this cover of *The Story Corner*, a free magazine distributed to kiddos at schools, foodbanks and children’s hospitals throughout the UK. I love how illustrator [Sarah Harrison](https://www.harrisonillustration.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) included some of [Megan Andrews](https://megy.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)' original characters like the happy grasshopper. Fun fact: Megan illustrated this ENTIRE BOOK in just 12 hours (with help from brilliant designer [Marisa Steyn](https://bookdash.org/team-members/marisa-steyn/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)) and I mostly helped by doing the "choreography", which meant jumping around mimicking what I thought different animals dancing would look like. When you [open-license things](https://bookdash.org/what-we-do/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), it's amazing how far they can go! ## 4\. The errand friend hang My oldest friend has been staying with me this month and it's reminded me that one of my favourite ways to hang out with people is buy doing errands together. Maybe it's just being in my 30s, but MAN I'm thrilled by a message like "hey I need to go to Boots to find sciatica cream" or "wanna come to Builder's Warehouse and help me look for a very specific pipe elbow?" Moving to another country has really made me consider the many ways in which friendship is crafted. You learn a lot about someone by sitting across from them at a dinner table and explicitly updating each other about your lives. But you also learn a lot about someone from what they buy at the pharmacy. [Anne Helen Peterson had a wonderful blog post about this.](https://annehelen.substack.com/p/the-errand-friend) Viva la errand friend hang! ## 5\. Rajiv Surendra One of the tiny mundane things that most delights me about my own partner is how carefully he looks after his possessions. We're both dorky little Scouts at heart, and it's a line in the Scouts Law: "A Scout makes good use of time and is careful of possessions and property". He spent an hour yesterday carefully scrubbing out a stain on a chopping board with steel wool. I love that boy so damn much. I think this is part of the appeal of my new favourite internet find: Rajiv Surendra's YouTube videos. They're these long, slow, gentle videos with topics like, how to carve a wooden cutting board. How to properly make your bed. How to marble paper. How to season a cast iron skillet. How to properly wash a wool sweater. Each video is like a gentle ASMR hug, a meditation on taking your time and caring for the things you already own. I could watch them all day. Wishing you tiny small joys and field-mouse spottings, Sam ### Revenge songs! URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/revenge-songs/ Last updated: 2022-07-29T11:22:04.000Z Hi loves! My life's been a blur of novel writing and flathunting this week. In-between, here are five things I wanted to share. ## 1\. Players only love you when they're playing I got to go see Phoebe Bridgers (!!!) live last night (a birthday present from my bestie 💛) and her song [Motion Sickness](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sfYpolGCu8&ab%5Fchannel=PhoebeBridgersVEVO&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) made me realise that one of my favourite musical nanogenres is "songs written as a fuck-you to someone". What's so fun about these songs are the specific *savage* details: "you gave me $1500 to see your hypnotherapist" (Phoebe Bridgers' writing about Ryan Adams in "Motion Sickness"), "I'll get older but your lovers stay my age" (Taylor Swift probably talking about Jake Gyllenhaal in "All Too Well"), "he better call Becky with the good hair" (Beyoncé eviscerating Jay-Z in *Lemonade*) or "you had one eye in the mirror as you watched yourself gavotte" (Carly Simon singing about Warren Beatty in "You're So Vain"). Other great examples of this genre include the whole of Fleetwood Mac's *Rumours* album and almost the entire discography of Taylor Swift. One of my favourite writers [Grady Hendrix](https://www.fangoria.com/original/grady-hendrix-wall-of-crazy/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) has this reminder to himself up on the wall above his desk: "specific physical details, you fuck". Worth remembering, whether you're trying to write better novels, powerpoint presentations or revenge songs. ![A wall of photographs including a sign saying "Specific physical details, you fuck"](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/07/Pasted-image-20220721141927.png) Photo by Grady Hendrix via Fangoria.com Please tell me your other favourite brutal fuck-you songs! [I'm making a playlist.](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/71xxNSgYjczvfKBz5laCDJ?si=57fb2e147ccb47df&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## 2\. Manage Your Money Giveaway ![It's savings month with Tymebank](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/07/image-17.png) South Africans, TymeBank is running a giveaway right now if you'd like a chance to win a copy of *Manage Your Money Like a Grownup,* the teen edition. [Here's the link, good luck!](https://twitter.com/tymebankza/status/1550109640737914881?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## 3\. It Doesn't Have To Be This Way ![Alistair Mackay's It Doesn't Have To Be This Way](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/07/image-18.png) I'm utterly adoring *It Doesn't Have To Be This Way*: Alistair Mackay's debut novel about three men surviving a Cape Town in the midst of climate collapse. Like the best climate fiction, it turns abstract climate models into a chillingly concrete vision of our near-future. But it's a novel with heart, with a love story at its centre and characters that feel entirely real, and who you really root for. There are scenes so vivid I can't get them out of my head, like climate activists petrol bombing the Medupi power station, Durban floods, a child waiting for hours in a deadly-hot home while his mother waits in line to fetch water. From the book jacket: *Climate collapse leaves Cape Town a vast and arid slum. Those who can afford to leave have fled to the New Temperate Zones, and to The Citadel on Signal Hill, ensconced in a climate-controlled dome behind The Wall... Here, residents pass their days lost in virtual reality, courtesy of a biotech implant connected to their minds, refusing to see what goes on around them. In the present day, before the Change, Luthando sees the way the world is headed and tries to avert disaster, but his activism leads to clashes with the government. As their lives begin to unravel, his life partner, Viwe, becomes embroiled in the religious end-of-days fanaticism sweeping the city. And their friend Malcolm fears that his work developing mental and emotional software is being used for sinister purposes.* It's deeply haunting, well-researched and brilliantly written. Highly recommend! ## 4\. How shares make money Hat-tip to brilliant financial educator (and dear friend) Kristia van Heerden, for writing [the best simple explanation of how shares make money](https://justonelap.com/outstanding-money-how-shares-make-money/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) that I've ever read. *"When you buy a share, you become a [part-owner of a business](https://justonelap.com/outstanding-money-what-is-investing/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). This entitles you to some of the company’s profits. The profit gets paid out in the [form of dividends](https://justonelap.com/outstanding-money-dividends-explained/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which is the first way shares make money. As long as you hold a share, you get some of the profit."* This [short article](https://justonelap.com/outstanding-money-how-shares-make-money/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) covers questions like why share prices change every day, what happens when a share price doesn't rise, and how to avoid losing money buy buying them. Making a complicated topic seem so simple is a difficult and under-appreciated skill! ## 5\. Let us always be kind I loved this quote from Natalie Goldberg, the author of one of [my favourite books about writing](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/my-favourite-resources-about-the-craft-of-fiction-writing/), *Writing Down the Bones*: > The deepest secret in our heart of hearts is that we are writing because we love the world, and why not finally carry that secret out with our bodies into the living rooms and porches, backyards and grocery stores? Let the whole thing flower: the poem and the person writing the poem. And let us always be kind in this world. Wishing you kindness (and revenge songs for who have wronged you) Sam ### Tell me your politik URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/tell-me-your-politik/ Last updated: 2022-07-22T09:26:53.000Z Hi loves :) Well the UK is [literally melting](https://www.theguardian.com/business/2022/jul/19/why-does-britains-tarmac-melt-and-its-rails-buckle-in-heat?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) right now. An excellent reminder that we should all be [finding a way to support climate activism, if we can.](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/politics-follow-people/) I'm still plugging away at *Snarltooth*. This week, that involved a lot of research into the most effective ways to stalk someone. If I get arrested, it's because of my search history, promise! Here are five things I wanted to share with you this week. ## 1\. Worried about SA's economy? Here's how to sleep a little better at night. Heartbreakingly, a lot of people have been writing me emails recently saying they're stressed about South Africa's economy and want to know what they can do to protect the value of their savings if things get worse (or just continue to stay difficult for a long time). Miserable topic, but [I've got some practical ideas here](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/managing-your-country-risk/). ## 2\. Tell Me Your Politik The song that I've had on repeat all week, the superb new single from Nakhane, "[Tell Me Your Politik](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R%5FSa1crmEek&ab%5Fchannel=Nakhane&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)", featuring Moonchild Sanelly & Nile Rodgers. With Nakhane having directed the video themself, it's a total extravaganza of South African excellence on display. ## 3\. I Am Not a Witch ![An engraving of a woman being burned alive](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/07/image-16.png) *Hexenverbrennung in Derenburg am Harz*; [Popular print](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Popular%5Fprint?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) from Nürnberg, by [Jörg Merckel](https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=J%C3%B6rg%5FMerckel&action=edit&redlink=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), 1555 I've been reading a lot of books about witch trials recently. I entirely adored [*Everyone Knows Your Mother is a Witch*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/54785536-everyone-knows-your-mother-is-a-witch?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)by Rivka Galchen, which is based on the real-life story of Katharina Kepler's trial in the German duchy of Württemberg in the early 1600s. Katharina was an elderly illiterate widow who helped her neighbours with herbal remedies, until a neighbour accused her of having "poisoned" her with a witchy drink that made her ill. What makes Katharina so compelling as a protagonist is that she's deliciously unlikable: stubborn, interfering, quick to call out the hypocrisies of the social climbers in her village. Also, weirdly, her son was Johannes Kepler, the dude who figured out how planets move, who had to leave his very important job laying the foundations for the basic laws of physics to come back to his village and convince everyone that no, his mother wasn't actually in cahoots with the devil, she just knew how to make a good poultice. This is my favourite contemporary retelling of the European witchhunts between 1450 to 1750 (Germany alone burned 40,000 "witches" alive): it paints a vivid picture of the social backdrop and belief systems that made such lunacy possible, and the power structures that profited. But the characters in the story still feel very real and modern, the mob mentality uncomfortably familiar. Also, this book is *funny as hell* (I could listen to Katharina's acerbic quips about her small-minded neighbours all day). Thanks for the recommendation, Maya! A good companion book is *[The Mercies](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/46138193-the-mercies?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* by Kiran Millwood Hargrave, which is based on the first major witch trials in Norway, in a small fishing village where most of the men died in a freak storm, leaving the women more self-sufficient than could be allowed. After being tortured, a woman named Mari Jørgensdatter confessed that she caused the storm after being seduced by the devil, and that led to a spate of violent witchburnings. Local Sámi men were also killed, because Christian Protestants saw them as evil magicians. *The Mercies* centres on two women caught up in these events: the wife of the main witchburner, and a young woman who grew up in the village. I have some quibbles about this one - the pacing is off and the love story didn't quite click for me - but it does a great job conjuring the setting and retelling a strange and tragic moment in history. > "Sickness begins here: I am the dartboard for witches. > Only the devil can eat the devil out." > From ["Witch Burning" ](Sickness begins here: I am the dartboard for witches. Only the devil can eat the devil out.)\- Sylvia Plath It's not explicitly about witch trials, but if you're interested in learning more about **why** the European witch trials happened, the episode ["Profits of Doom"](https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/37804124-prophets-of-doom?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) from Dan Carlin's *Hardcore History* podcast is absolutely superb (although grim), and provides fascinating context about the general violent religious chaos of Germany in the 1500s. You can buy Dan Carlin's podcast episodes [directly from his website](https://www.dancarlin.com/product/hardcore-history-48-prophets-of-doom/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- they're worth it! Abigail Thorne (*PhilosophyTube*) also has a [great video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmk47kh7fiE&t=3s&ab%5Fchannel=PhilosophyTube&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) offering a Marxist reading. Then if you want to continue down the witchy rabbit hole, Robert Eggers' *[The Witch](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQXmlf3Sefg&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* is one of my all-time favourite horror films, depicting witch paranoia in 1630s New England. And finally, please watch Rungano Nyoni's absolutely masterful *[I Am Not A Witch](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6213284/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, about a 9-year-old girl sent to a witch camp in contemporary Zambia. It somehow manages to be hilarious, heartbreaking, absurd and grounded all at once. It's on Netflix, and hot damn it's good. ## 4\. The Shakespearean guide to entrepreneurship After my piece a couple of weeks ago talking about different models to fund art, someone sent me [this great essay by Mark McGuinness](https://lateralaction.com/articles/shakespeare-entrepreneurship/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) discussing William Shakespeare as an entrepreneur, and how the work he produced for his patrons was lauded in its day but hasn't lasted, unlike the work he made as mass-market entertainment. *"Do you recognise these lines?* > *Even as the sun with purple-colour’d face* > *Had ta’en his last leave of the weeping morn,* > *Rose-cheek’d Adonis hied him to the chase;* > *Hunting he loved, but love he laugh’d to scorn;* > *Sick-thoughted Venus makes amain unto him,* > *And like a bold-faced suitor ‘gins to woo him.* *"Don’t worry if they don’t ring a bell for you – you’re in the majority. Many people have never heard of Shakespeare’s poem* Venus and Adonis*... But in Shakespeare’s day the poem was a bestseller. For a long time, he was much more famous as the the poet of* Venus and Adonis *than as a dramatist."* [Read the rest here.](https://lateralaction.com/articles/shakespeare-entrepreneurship/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## 5\. On "Scruffy Hospitality" I loved this essay about the virtue of ["scruffy hospitality"](https://www.treehugger.com/in-priase-scruffy-hospitality-4868485?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), offering your home up as it is, not worrying about the dishes in the sink, the laundry hanging from the dining room chairs, the clutter on the tables. Intimacy as being with people as we are, not presenting a carefully prepared mask. > Scruffy hospitality means you’re not waiting for everything in your house to be in order before you host and serve friends in your home. Scruffy hospitality means you hunger more for good conversation and serving a simple meal of what you have, not what you don’t have. Scruffy hospitality means you’re more interested in quality conversation than the impression your home or lawn makes. If we only share meals with friends when we’re excellent, we aren’t truly sharing life together. I think this is a good lesson for a lot of things in life: **[don't make your happiness contingent on something else](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/35-things/).** You don't have to get fit before you can be loved. You don't have to figure out your career before you can let yourself learn the guitar. You don't have to make your house tidy before having friends over. ## A favour: The Book Behind Awards Look, this is awkward as hell, but the teen edition of *Manage Your Money Like a Grown Up* has been nominated for an award, and I LOVE winning things because it helps to distract me from the emptiness within, so if you're in South Africa and wouldn't mind throwing a vote my way, I would so appreciate your support! ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/07/image-15.png) vote by SMSing "BBF22" to 34877 Thank yooooou! \-- Wishing you a nice healing poultice, Sam ### Worried about SA's economy? Here's how to sleep a little better at night. URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/managing-your-country-risk/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T10:24:34.000Z Howzit tjommas! Recently, I've been getting a lot of questions from readers in South Africa who are stressed about our economy. People who don't want to leave the country, but are worried about what will happen to their finances if there continues to be political and economic instability. Although let's be real, it's 2022, where *isn't* there political and economic instability? (Shut up, New Zealand, Uruguay and Singapore) There are two quite different levels of worry here: 1. Worrying that South Africa's economy will continue to **underperform**, meaning that things will slowly continue to get more difficult, the value of your savings and investments will decrease, the prices of everything will rise, the real value of wages will stagnate, and you'll be able to buy less and less with your money. 2. Worrying that shit will truly hit the fan and South Africa will face a **national banking crisis** or **hyperinflation**. I'll be referring to this as a SHTF scenario. Economists call this **country risk:** the risk of your own country's economy doing badly. And here's the good news: there are concrete things you can do to reduce its impact on your own finances. There are concrete things you can do to help improve the overall situation, too, but I'm less confident I know what they are :) ## What does a SHTF situation look like? While I don't think it's likely to happen in South Africa, let's talk about the worst case scenario for country risk: a national banking crisis accompanied by hyperinflation. I was briefly in [Zimbabwe in 2009](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperinflation%5Fin%5FZimbabwe?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and inflation was so bad that salaries were being re-set once a week, and people were being paid in petrol vouchers because they held their value longer than the Zim Dollar. You could also look at what happened [in Cyprus in 2013](https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-21814325?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), where the government effectively "confiscated" money directly out of consumer savings accounts to pay a once-off state levy. Or consider the 2002 [Uruguay Banking Crisis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2002%5FUruguay%5Fbanking%5Fcrisis?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) where all banks in the country were frozen and people could not access their own money. [Financial crises are rare, but they do happen.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List%5Fof%5Fbanking%5Fcrises?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/07/image-13.png) In the case of a financial crisis, some relevant questions are: 1. Is the real value of your money protected? (are you protected against **hyperinflation of your own currency?**) 2. Where is the legal entity registered that controls your money? (are you protected against **your government claiming your money?**) 3. Can you practically access your money, and practically spend it? (are you protected against a **bank freeze?**) There are things you can do to protect against all of these situations, but they all cost you. The safest thing to have in a SHTF situation is probably wads of US Dollars in a suitcase, or gold bars, or canned food you can trade with your neighbours. But, obviously, those are all pretty useless investments in normal times, and they expose you to other risks (theft, fluctuating gold prices, being a bit peckish). You've got to balance your desire to ease your fears about economic collapse, with all your other financial goals. Overall, I believe it's more useful to focus on managing the risks of South Africa's economy **underperforming**, and not over-invest in preparing for an unlikely SHTF situation. But I will mention options that support both goals. --- *Just to say - friends, I know things are blimmen hard out there right now, and a lot of my own loved ones have been out of work for such a long time that they've already depleted their savings. If you're already in financial crisis,* [*this might be of more help right now*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/an-action-plan-for-the-newly-retrenched/)*, and please know that I'm beaming you so much love.* --- ## Tactic 1: Invest in global funds Your country's economy is just a small part of the world's economy. Unless you've got a good reason not to, it makes sense for most people to try to invest in funds that diversify your money all around the world. It's one of the simplest, most impactful ways to reduce your country risk. Luckily, there's a very easyway to do this: **invest in global funds**. Specifically, invest in [low-fee global ETFs.](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/is-it-safe-to-invest-in-a-new-etf/) You can imagine a global ETF as a basket made up of tiny tiny bits of companies from all around the world. They're super simple products, and they keep your money safe through diversification (spreading your eggs across many many baskets). You can start investing in global ETFs even if you only have ten bucks. If South Africa's economy underperforms, the value of your investments will be protected. There are two ways to buy global ETFs in South Africa: 1. **Locally-listed global ETFs.** These are ETFs that are listed on South African stock exchanges, but they're made up of international shares. An example is the Satrix MSCI World ETF. You can buy these easily using South African Rands, on a platform like [EasyEquities](https://www.easyequities.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). 2. **Offshore global ETFs.** This is where you open up an actual offshore investment account and buy global ETFs listed on a foreign stock market. Sometimes, you first need to convert your money into US Dollars or Pounds to buy these ETFs, which means you do need to take currency conversion costs into account when comparing fees. [EasyEquities](https://www.easyequities.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) offers USD investment accounts. Other international platforms available to South Africans include [IG](https://www.ig.com/za?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Degiro](https://www.degiro.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Interactive Brokers](https://www.interactivebrokers.com/en/whyib/overview.php?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and [Trading 212](https://www.trading212.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). There are pros and cons to both approaches. Locally-listed global ETFs are simpler to start off with, so usually a good jumping-off point for most people. You can use your annual **tax free allowance** for them. But they don't do much to help you in a SHTF situation: there's no use having money invested in an ETF if the country's banks are frozen and you have no way to actually withdraw any of it. True offshore global ETFs might be more help in a SHTF situation, but you can't use your tax free allowance for them. They're more hassle to set up, and they're tricky when it comes to **taxes**, especially taxes after you die. If you've got a lot of money at stake, talk to a good fee-based financial planner or international tax expert to help you figure out what route's right for you. [Or, read this.](https://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Non-US%5Finvestor%27s%5Fguide%5Fto%5Fnavigating%5FUS%5Ftax%5Ftraps?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) South Africans, [here's a list of good global ETFs](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/good-funds/) to get you started ([UK readers, here's one for you](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/radtastic-investment-funds-and-savings-accounts-uk/)). And [here's a short discussion about my all-time favourite global ETFs](https://justonelap.com/sam-beckbessinger-my-fav-etf/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (the Satrix MSCI World ETF in South Africa and the FTSE Global All Cap Index Fund in the UK). South Africans are allowed to take R1-million a year out of the country without any problems (this is called the single discretionary allowance). You can take up to R10-million a year if you complete some paperwork for the Reserve Bank, and more under special circumstances. But if you’re moving sums that big around, definitely [talk to an expert.](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-to-find-a-financial-adviser-who-doesnt-suck/) *A sidenote. Global diversification is smart no matter where you live. But if you live in the United States, remember that the US makes up over 50% of most global funds. So, if you're trying to reduce country risk, you might want to look for a global ETF that explicitly excludes US stocks - the Vanguard Total International Stock (VXUS) is a popular one.* ## Tactic 2: Buy foreign currencies Investing is for money you don’t intend to spend for a while. But what about your savings - the cash you keep available for short-term big purchases and emergencies? Generally, you likely want to keep your savings in a normal, easy-to-access savings account, in your own currency. But if your country is feeling especially volatile, you might consider shifting **some** of your cash into foreign currencies (forex). Understand that buying foreign currencies reduces your country risk but it means you now face a new, potentially bigger risk: the risk of **currency fluctuation**. What if your own currency outperforms the other currency and you lose the value of your savings, that you most likely want to spend *in your own currency*? In other words, be careful buying foreign currencies. It's a gamble in a way that buying global ETFs isn't (global ETFs are very diversified, hence inherently safer). I'd suggest limiting this to a portion of your savings. There are many options for easily turning some of your rands into US Dollars, Pounds or other currencies, as a South African: 1. An excellent app from Standard Bank called [Shyft](https://getshyft.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). This is a very easy-to-use, cost-effective way to buy foreign currencies if you're worried about the Rand devaluing. You can also order debit cards linked to the accounts, which makes this a great way to pay for things when you travel. It's a great solution if you want to buy forex. 2. Actual physical paper currency that you buy from a forex counter and keep in a [bug-out bag](https://greenhamsam.medium.com/on-water-tanks-and-the-joys-of-doomsday-prepping-adac2fc980c6?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) if you’re that kind of person. This is the most useful money to have in a true SHTF crisis, but you've got to worry about keeping it safe. 3. By opening an offshore bank account through your existing South African bank. Most of the big South African banks offer offshore bank accounts. FNB and Standard Bank offer accounts in the Isle of Man, Investec offers accounts in the Channel Islands and Mauritius, Absa offers a Mauritius account (as far as I know, you’re out of luck at Capitec and Nedbank). You can use these bank accounts through the same apps/online banking profiles you already use, but the money you put into that account will be converted into a foreign currency (often Pounds). You get a full foreign bank account with its own card, and you can make international transactions out of this account just like a normal foreign bank account. These accounts are usually governed **both by the banking regulations of the country they're based in, and by the South African banking regulators**, which means that they're not entirely protected against the worst SHTF situations. 4. By opening an offshore account with a completely foreign bank. There are banks in other countries (like the Channel Islands, Switzerland, Estonia) that allow foreign residents to open accounts with them. These are great if SHTF *and* you can leave the country. These accounts are usually expensive and require big deposits, and sometimes you actually have to travel to that country to meet with a relationship banker and prove you're a real person (or so I hear - I don't have one of these accounts, I just happen to know some kak rich people). This is an option if you've got a LOT of Randelas lying around and happy to pay a chunk of money to keep them safe. Some people use these types of accounts for tax evasion but there are also legitimate reasons to have them. 5. By opening a bank account as a **short-term resident** of another country. If you ever find yourself spending a few weeks in another country, say for a work trip, here's a pro-tip for you: **see if you can open a bank account while you're there**. Like, if you ever come to the UK, all you need to do is change your location on the app store to the UK, download [Revolut](https://www.revolut.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or [Monzo](https://monzo.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), show an Airbnb booking as your proof-of-residence, and you can sign up for a free, fully-fledged UK bank account. Some other countries have similar options, just do your homework before you arrive. If you can find a bank that lets you sign up, this is the best way to get all the benefits of option 4without the expense. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/07/image-14.png) Standard Bank's Shyft app lets you buy, store and spend a number of different currencies, easily, from your phone. ## Tactic 3: Buy collectibles or crypto... maybe In times of economic instability, a lot of people buy stuff that is pretty good at holding onto its value no matter what happens to the local currency. Classically, that's **gold** or **silver**, but other options include artworks, rare bottles of wine, Magic: the Gathering cards... whatever you could imagine transporting and reselling easily in a SHTF situation. Cryptocurrencies and NFTs can be considered more modern versions of these types of assets. Of course the issue with these types of assets is that their value is often **speculative**, which means you have to do a lot of research to get a good deal, and they're pretty unreliable stores of value. They can also be a damn hassle to keep safe. Overall, I'd say that buying these classes of assets means you’re increasing your financial risks rather than decreasing them, but these could be a *part* of a very carefully-considered highly diversified portfolio for the wary. I would not suggest you put more into speculative assets than you could afford to lose. ## Think holistically about your country risk Life is short and all of these things you could do to reduce your country risk **cost you something**: your time, fees, or just the opportunity cost of all the other things you could have done with that money. Again, **you have to balance reducing your country risk with your other financial goals.** One way to think about country risk is to ask **how tightly connected your personal financial fortunes are to the financial fortunes of the country you live in**. If the economy drives off a cliff, are you in the passenger seat of the car, or are you in a sidecar that can be detached if necessary? ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/07/thelma-and-louise-vintage-1.gif) You do not want to Thelma and Louise it with a crashing economy A lot of this isn't about money at all. Some **life decisions** strengthen the connection between your personal finances, and the country's finances (i.e. they increase your country risk): - Having only one passport, especially if that passport doesn’t allow you to live in many other countries. - Investing your money in your own country. - Keeping your savings in the country you live in. - Owning a house. - Being employed by a business that mostly operates in the country you live in. - Owning a business that mostly operates in the country you live in. - Having built up your “career capital” (your reputation and network) in just one country. - Having people you love live in the same country as you (if things got tough, they’re likely to need your financial help at the same time as your own finances are struggling). Overall, it’s much easier to **move money than to move people** (ask me and the 20 spreadsheets I made for [our move to England](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-much-does-it-cost-to-move-overseas/)). So you can definitely look into reducing your risk by making some big lifestyle changes like getting a job at a big multinational so it would be easier for you to relocate to another country if you needed to, but it’s much easier for most people to start off by asking **how you can diversify your savings and investments outside of South Africa.** You can think about these factors as being weights on a scale **that you can offset from each other**. If you’ve got a lot of things that increase your country risk (like, you own a house and you’ve got a big family that you’d want to support if things got hard), then it’s extra important to decrease your country risk wherever you can (prioritise investing your money overseas). If you have fewer things tying you down, then this isn’t a risk you need to think about so much. Here's a concrete example of where you might need to make trade-offs: **saving for your retirement**. You get sweet, sweet tax breaks by saving for retirement using a special retirement product called a retirement annuity (or a pension fund or provident fund). But there are limits about how much of your retirement money can be invested in global funds. So you have to decide whether to prioritise using your **tax-free allowance** to invest in global ETFs (reducing your country risk), or prioritising the tax breaks you get from saving into a retirement annuity. Do that by **considering your country risk overall**: are there a lot of things that tie you to South Africa's economy as in that list above, or just a few things? Don't try to do everything. If you're feeling worried about your country-risk, think through your options and pick just a handful of tangible tasks to prioritise. Your plan doesn't have to be complicated! It could be something as simple as this: - Go to a forex desk and draw a a small amount of cash as US Dollars to hide safely at home (enough to be helpful in a SHTF situation, not so much that it's a huge problem if it gets stolen). - Open a Shyft account and convert 10% of your savings into a foreign currency. - Replace a portion of your monthly retirement savings with an automatic debit order to an EasyEquities tax free savings account, buying a global ETF (you can put in R3000 per person, per month, into a tax free savings account). If you're feeling befuddled, talk to a [good fee-based financial planner](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-to-find-a-financial-adviser-who-doesnt-suck/) for advice. South Africa has so much going for it, and I still have hope that these difficult times will pass. But it's good to know that there are practical things you can do to sleep better at night, until it does. You've got this! xx S ### Bye Boris URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/bye-boris/ Last updated: 2022-07-08T14:02:41.000Z Hello loves :) Greetings from a sunny London, looking even sunnier this morning now that we've finally begun ridding ourselves of the conniving scarecrow who's been playing at being our prime minister. Here are five other things that made my week! ## 1\. A Room of One's Own... and £500 ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/07/ARoomOfOnesOwn.jpeg) Virginia Woolf [famously once said](http://gutenberg.net.au/ebooks02/0200791h.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) that if a woman wants to write fiction, she must have a room of her own with a lock on the door, representing a space where she can be free of domestic responsibilities so she can focus on her work. A lot of people were forcibly reminded of this back in the Covid lockdowns, discovering that it's impossible to do meaningful work while a toddler is trying to show you a fascinating rock they just found in the garden or a teenager urgently needs to know where you put their "unscratchy" t-shirt. My buddy Charne likes to remind people of the *rest* of Woolf's prescription: that women need the room, but also **money**. In her 1929 estimate, about £500 a year (the equivalent of [£26,870](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:A%5FRoom%5Fof%5FOne%27s%5FOwn?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) today). The truth is, getting good at something takes many, many years of practice, and all artists have to find a way to fund that time, because the chances of someone else funding it are... slim. [I've written before](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/being-your-own-rich-husband/) about my own challenges trying to figure out how to fund a full-time creative career, and it's a question that I've returned to recently, because living in London isn't cheap (who knew??). I've been finding a helpful resource in Mark McGuinness's *[Motivation for Creative People](https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/27388294?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, who talks about the five creative career models he sees amongst professional artists: 1. **Lucrative Art** \- getting paid to produce works of art or entertainment (e.g. being a paid screenwriter). 2. **Commercial Creativity** \- getting paid to produce creative work that solves practical/business problems (e.g. being a copywriter for an ad agency). 3. **Day Job** \- taking a job to pay the bills, and using it to fund your (unrelated) creative work (e.g. T. S. Eliot's job working in a bank). 4. **Symbiotic Creativity** \- working in two creative fields that complement each other, one of which may pay better than the other (e.g. being a lawyer who also writes novels about lawyers à la John Grisham; or being an editor and a novelist). 5. **Creative Entrepreneurship** \- using your creativity to grow a thriving business. There are pros and cons to each model, of course, and a million ways to blend them. But having a framework to think through your options can be helpful. If you're a creative person trying to figure out how to find more time to make your art, give Mark's book a try. ## 2\. "Look for a way of life" On a related note, I love [this letter by Hunter S. Thompson](https://tranquilmonkey.com/hunter-s-thompsons-extraordinary-letter-on-finding-your-purpose?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about not squeezing yourself into a pre-defined identity. *"I don’t mean that we can’t BE firemen, bankers, or doctors — but that we must make the goal conform to the individual, rather than make the individual conform to the goal. In every man, heredity and environment have combined to produce a creature of certain abilities and desires — including a deeply ingrained need to function in such a way that his life will be MEANINGFUL. A man has to BE something; he has to matter ... But beware of looking for goals: look for a way of life. Decide how you want to live and then see what you can do to make a living WITHIN that way of life."* ## 3\. Outline ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/07/image-9.png) I've been half-loving and half-infuriated by [*Outline*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/21400742-outline?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=7w0LaZbWnn&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)by Rachel Cusk. It's an experimental novel about a woman going to Athens to teach a creative writing class over the summer. But the narrator is curiously erased; she tells you almost nothing about herself. Instead, you're treated to the witty ramblings and observations of everyone she interacts with. Only gradually do you start to get a sense of who the narrator is, and why she's drawing your attention to *these* specific characters, *these* observations. It's like you start to get a portrait of someone made out of what she notices. It's an interesting experiment. I think I'd dismiss it as being a bit of a literary wank were it not for the fact that the side-characters are so well-drawn, and their insights so poignant. *"It was impossible, I said in response to his question, to give the reasons why the marriage had ended: among other things a marriage is a system of belief, a story, and though it manifests itself in things that are real enough, the impulse that drives it is ultimately mysterious. What was real, in the end, was the loss of the house, which had become the geographical location for things that had gone absent and which represented, I supposed, the hope that they might one day return. To move from the house was to declare, in a way, that we had stopped waiting; we could no longer be found at the usual number, the usual address."* ## 4\. The Break I recently discovered this poem by Lavinia Greenlaw that ripped a hole right through me. ![The Break poem by Lavinia Greenlaw](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/07/image-10.png) The [full text is here](https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v40/n20/lavinia-greenlaw/two-poems?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) if you're using a screenreader <3 I found this in *[The Forward Book of Poetry 2020](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/43268772-the-forward-book-of-poetry-2020?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=Jn949GHCVk&rank=2&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, which was a hell of a year for breaking. ## 5\. What writing a novel looks like I was able to spend most of this week working on the first proper draft of my new novel, literally my favourite activity. I've now written two and a half novels (one of which no-one will ever, ever see; the other [the one that's coming out next year EEEEEE](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/latest-projects/)) and my process looks something like this: 1. Let the idea bounce around in my head for a while until I **must** write it. 2. Write out the basic idea on a single piece of paper. This gets stuck up above my desk as a reminder. 3. Write a "zero draft". It's like a first draft except that it's allowed to be really, really bad. I don't really plan the zero draft. It's like spelunking in the dark, exploring the cave system of my unconscious. Plenty of dead ends and bats and strange moulds in there. The point of the zero draft is to figure out who the characters are, and fundamentally what the story is. There's no rewriting, no fixing things as I go, main characters vanish halfway through if I feel they're not working, new ones appear, suddenly the whole thing's set in space, some chapters are just notes... there are no rules in a zero draft! 4. I put that hot mess down for 4-6 weeks, then start writing a proper **first draft**. My first drafts are fairly organised, and usually start off with a detailed outline (to the surprise of no-one, I'm sure, there is a *spreadsheet*). Once I've got an outline, I set myself a daily word goal (currently 2,000 words a day, it was 1,300/day when I still had a dayjob and was writing early in the morning) and work my way through beginning to end. The goal of the first draft is roughly to get the skeleton in place. 5. Draft two is mostly about character, making sure motivations track and characters make decisions that feel right for them. This can necessitate huge plot changes. This is the draft I usually carefully send out to a couple of trusted beta readers. 6. Draft three is mostly about implementing feedback from the beta readers, filling in big plotholes, stripping out threads that aren't working. This is also about where I start thinking about style, pausing to write more descriptive paragraphs and flesh out settings where needed. 7. Draft four is where I break open my [Strunk & White](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The%5FElements%5Fof%5FStyle?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and start polishing the prose, fixing the grammar, trimming the fat. [This timeless essay on "thought" verbs](https://litreactor.com/essays/chuck-palahniuk/nuts-and-bolts-%E2%80%9Cthought%E2%80%9D-verbs?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Chuck Palahniuk also gets consulted a lot. And then I write more drafts until someone takes it away from me or I can't stand to look at it any more. ![A photograph of a manuscript covered in notes](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/07/image-11.png) "Captain America isn't his real name" - no DUH. But it's fine, it's a zero draft! On Monday, I started **the proper first draft** of *Snarltooth*, which means I printed out the draft zero manuscript, and tried to read it like a reader, mostly noting where I'm bored, where I'm intrigued, and where I have no idea what the heck's happening (which is most of the time... zero drafts are a mess!). Then I summarise every chapter of draft zero in a spreadsheet: ![Snapshot of a spreadsheet](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/07/scenes.png) Then I make a new tab in the spreadsheet and work out a detailed outline of each chapter of the first draft (which will likely be revised 100 times over the next few months). Now, theoretically, all I need to do is... uh... write all those scenes. Easy! (lol) \-- Wishing you a room of your own and £26,870 a year, Sam ### Inequality is weird URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/inequality-is-weird/ Last updated: 2022-07-01T12:42:57.000Z Hello loves :) Welcome to the second half of 2022! Google Photos reminded me that almost exactly a year ago, I got my first Covid vaccine. Covid's not over. My mum's best friend died of Covid last month (rest well, Di, we love you). But my goodness, it's amazing to take stock of the world and appreciate how much of life we've gotten back. Here are five things I've been appreciating this week. ![Survive the Century Sam Beckbessinger - a book about climate change](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/07/image-1.png) ## 1\. Survive the Century, at a bookstore near you More and more bookstores are stocking *Survive the Century*, our book that lets YOU choose how the world responds to the climate emergency. Right now, you can get the book from these fine retailers: South Africa - [Love Books, Johannesburg](https://lovebooks.co.za/shop/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [The Book Lounge, Cape Town](https://booklounge.co.za/product/survive-the-century-by-sam-beckbessinger/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Sam Beckbessinger direct](https://shop.sambeckbessinger.com/product/survive-the-century-book/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Global - [Amazon](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0620987480/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Book Depository](https://www.bookdepository.com/Survive-the-Century-Sam-Beckbessinger-Christopher-Trisos-Simon-Nicholson/9780620987486?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Target](https://www.target.com/p/survive-the-century-by-sam-beckbessinger-christopher-trisos-simon-nicholson-paperback/-/A-87099422?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Barnes&Noble](https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/survive-the-century-sam-beckbessinger/1141467203?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) You can also order it from your local indie bookstore, anywhere in the world. It's a delicious, hilarious, science-informed book designed it to be the perfect gift for for teens and young adults passionate about the climate emergency. Get 'em before they're gone. (Psst... if you're curious about what goes into making a book like this, our publishing partners [Electric Book Works wrote a fascinating write-up](https://electricbookworks.com/work/survive-the-century-climate-change-game-book/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) of the whole process) ## 2\. Intra-country and inter-country inequality Economist Branko Milanović had [a fascinating thread the other day](https://twitter.com/brankomilan/status/1533830327520612358?s=21&t=CtwYhZ1oFVaDKjm7F%5FmNuA&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) looking at how inequality *within* countries intersects with inequality *between* countries, to produce some surprising outcomes. Most of the time, when you compare the incomes of people in a rich country and people in a poor country, the income of all income groups in the rich country will be higher than all the income groups in the poor country. So, if country A has a higher mean income than country B, the incomes of rich people in country A will be higher than the rich people in country B; the incomes of poor people in country A will be higher than the incomes of poor people in country B, etc. But where countries have a high level of internal income inequality (i.e. a high GINI coefficient) - like, *ehem*, South Africa - this commonsense outcome doesn't always hold. Here's a graph showing the income of people in Mexico (in relative global terms) compared to the income of people in the United States: ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/07/image-2.png) So, people in most income groups in Mexico have lower incomes than people of most income groups in America. *Except* when you get to the top 1%, where the gap disappears. Rich people in Mexico are as rich as rich people in the USA. Here's Brazil versus Hungary: ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/07/image-3.png) Branko says: > You find such examples mostly in comparisons of EEurope and LatAm. They have similar mean incomes but v different distributions. The poor in LatAm are much worse off, the rich are...well, richer. I'd love to see a graph comparing the UK and South Africa, because I have a hunch that you'd see a similar outcome. We compare ourselves to the people who are most visible to us, which means that we usually have a better sense of how well-off we are relative to people in our own country, rather than relative to people globally. But the country you live in is overwhelmingly the single biggest factor that determines your income [(it accounts for 1/2 - 3/4 of your income).](https://stonecenter.gc.cuny.edu/files/2015/05/milanovic-global-inequality-of-opportunity-how-much-of-our-income-is-determined-by-where-we-live-2015.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) If you're curious, [SALDRU](https://www.saldru.uct.ac.za/income-comparison-tool/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) has a great tool to let you check how high your income is compared to other South Africans, and [Giving What We Can](https://howrichami.givingwhatwecan.org/how-rich-am-i?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) has a tool that lets you check your income compared to people all around the world. Out of interest, [an annual income of around $34,000](https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0465019749/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&linkCode=gs2&creativeASIN=0465019749&tag=slate01-21&creative=390957&camp=1789&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) puts you in the global 1% (although, wealth inequality is much higher than income inequality, so this is only a small part of the picture). ## 3\. Polite British Sudoku I love me a logic puzzle. I've become EXTREMELY obsessed with the [NYTimes Crossword](https://www.nytimes.com/crosswords?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which is how I pass the time on the Tube (and, increasingly, in bed, on my couch, on the loo, in the bath, at my desk while I'm supposed to be working...). And my buddy Chris got me into[ Train Tracks](https://puzzlemadness.co.uk/traintracks/medium?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) puzzles, the bastard, so now I have a whole new way to waste time. But entirely the best puzzle-related discovery recently has been the YouTube channel Cracking the Cryptic, where you get to watch other people solve Sudoku. It is the most joyously wholesome thing. Please treat yourself to [this 25 minute video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKf9aUIxdb4&t=9s&ab%5Fchannel=CrackingTheCryptic&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) of a polite British man losing his absolute mind over a puzzle with only two starting numbers (thanks, Peter, for the link). ## 4\. The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue ![The invisible life of Addie LaRue by VE Schwab](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/07/image-6.png) > And there in the dark, he asks if it was really worth it. > Were the instants of joy worth the stretches of sorrow? > Were the moments of beauty worth the year of pain? > And she turns her head, and looks at him, and says 'Always.' In a small French village in 1714, a young woman makes a deal with a devil: she will live forever, but be forgotten by every person she meets. So begins the invisible life of Addie LaRue. For 300 years, she travels around Europe, watching the world change. Survival is never easy, but she learns to steal what she needs. Unable to leave any imprints of herself on the world, she befriends artists, who quickly forget her. She is a muse who longs to tell her own story. Her gift looks more and more like a curse. Every year, the devil visits, asking if she's had enough, if she gives up, if she'll let him end her life and take her soul. Addie will not give him the pleasure of a victory. Until in 2014, in New York City, Addie meets a bookseller named Henry, who remembers her. But is this the thing Addie's always wanted, or just another of the devil's tricks? I raced through this novel. The writing is lyrical, but it's well plotted. The charming devil, Luc, is an excellent enemy, and the love story is one you really root for. I had some small quibbles with it (it drags in places) but the parts that are good really *sing,* and it delivers a deeply satisfying ending. It's a fun read! ## 5\. Kate Bush It has come to my attention that a whole generation of Zoomers have just discovered Kate Bush because of *Stranger Things*, and 1985's ["Running Up That Hill"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp43OdtAAkM&ab%5Fchannel=KateBushMusic&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is back on the *Billboard* top 10 chart. I'm trying to play it cool about this, because nothing puts teens off more than realising old people already love their exciting new teenage discoveries. But honestly I'm SUPER HYPE and I just want to strap them all into *Clockwork Orange*\-style chairs and deliver a three-hour lecture on how the whole B-side of *Hounds of Love* is a single narrative about a woman lost at sea drifting in and out of consciousness. Anyway, if you're reading this, and you're newly discovering how wily, weird and wonderful Kate Bush is, please let me share my all-time favourite Kate Bush song, "[Breathing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzlofSthVwc&ab%5Fchannel=KateBushMusic&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)", which is a song from the perspective of a foetus whose mother has just survived a nuclear blast. How can you not love her? --- ## Updates from Samland I haven't done an update about what I'm working on for a while, because I've mostly been working on TV projects that I can't talk about. 🥸 But from Monday, I'm back into writing the first real draft of my novel, wheeeeee! The working title for this one is *Snarltooth*, and I'm aiming for 8k words a week, which means I should get the draft done in 3 months. I'll be posting updates to keep myself motivated and accountable! If you're curious, I've added [a full list of in-progress projects](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/latest-projects/#in-progress) to my website, so you can see what I'm busy with (honestly, it's mostly train track puzzles). \-- Wishing you equality, satisfying Sudoku victories, and zero nuclear blasts, Sam ### 35 lessons I'm learning at 35 URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/35-things/ Last updated: 2022-06-24T10:49:52.000Z Hello loves, It's mah birfday! I'm 35, so I'm officially no longer a youth (according to the ANCYL). It's funny, because when I was a kid, I always felt much older than I was - my Mom used to say I was "seven going on seventy-seven". And I feel like I've grown younger throughout my life, like Merlin, so I'm expecting to hit my preteens somewhere around my 60s, and finally get super into boy bands and TikTok. As a consequence, this midlife birthday feels like the first time I am the age that I feel I am inside, if that makes sense. I'm 35, and I feel 35! No longer young; not yet old. "**Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita",* midway through the pathway of our life, as Dante put it. I wanted to share 35 things I've learned about life in my 35 years, but the truth is that the older I get, the more I feel like I don't know a damn thing about the world, in a way that's extremely liberating. So take these not as lessons learned, but as lessons I'm still learning. --- ## 35 lessons I'm learning at 35 1. Life is very short, and one day you'll be dead. Your time on this earth is your most precious limited resource. 2. It's never too late to do something. You are always allowed to change your mind. You know more now than you knew back then. Don't be held hostage by a younger version of yourself, out of stubbornness. 3. Don't be a jerk to yourself. Never talk to yourself in a way that you wouldn't talk to your best friend. 4. This applies to your body, too! 5. Choose to be kind. Even when it's hard. Especially when it's hard. It makes the world better, but it also makes your own life easier. Buddhaghoṣa: "Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." 6. Don't trim off parts of yourself to be more palatable or "serious" or to fit into someone else's box. Your interest in Scottish folk dancing, your love of obscure Jamaican heavy metal bands, your ability to wiggle your ears... it all matters. It will all make sense in retrospect. Bring your whole self to your work. Bring your whole self into your relationships. Don't throw any of yourself away. 7. You actually have very little time to spend with the people you love the most. [By the time you leave home, you've already spent most of the hours with your parents you'll ever spend with them.](https://www.nytimes.com/2022/02/25/opinion/covid-pandemic-depressing-math.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) The good news is that you can make choices to prioritise spending time with the people you care about. 8. Friendship is a skill that you can practice being better at. And it's worth practicing: friends make life so much better. 9. Honesty is a radical act. Usually when we're dishonest, it's because we don't want to hurt people or let them down, or because we fear that they won't love us if they see the ugliness inside of us. Honesty really hurts in the moment. But the dividends it pays are usually worth it. That said, beware people who use radical honesty as an excuse to be unnecessarily cruel. 10. You don't have to get drawn into debates you don't want to have. You can honestly just stand up and leave a pointless dreary conversation! It's the most deliciously liberating feeling. 11. Music didn't get bad; you just stopped listening to new music. On that note, hang out with people older and younger than you. 12. Art isn't something you need to be good at to do; it's a fundamental human activity. Make art like how kids make art. Start learning that instrument you always wanted to learn. Sing songs you only remember half the lyrics to. Make up stories with your friends. There's no Art License you get from the Art Council that gives you permission to be an Artist who makes Art. 13. Nothing lasts forever. Everything is impermanent. Enjoy it while you have it; but don't grasp for what has passed. 14. You don't have a body. You are a body. 15. The best rule I have for love is to always try to ["turn towards"](https://www.gottman.com/blog/turn-toward-instead-of-away/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) your partner(s) - respond to their small bids for attention and affection. We're all just tiny babies inside who crave acceptance. Love is a lifelong game of improv's "yes, and" rule. 16. Yes, love does require work, but not THAT much work, jeez. If you've been agonising for weeks about ending a relationship then just end it. If someone makes you feel shit about yourself, end it. You can't fix disrespect. You *really* can't fix contempt. I've never regretted walking away from a job or a relationship. I have regretted not walking away sooner. 17. Don't predicate your happiness on anything. You can't wait to finish your degree to start being happy, or get a promotion, or lose weight, or move, or win the lottery. You already deserve happiness. 18. Similarly, you can't wait to be ready before you try the things you most desperately want to try. You will never feel productive enough, skilled enough, mature enough. You just have to try, as your imperfect self, right now. 19. Be careful of your mind's ability to create its own reality. If you look for kindness in the world, you'll see it. If you look for things to feel grateful for, you'll see those too. 20. Love the work itself, because there's no way to know what the outcome of the work will be. 21. Life is full of grief and suffering and tragedy and meaning and beauty and joy and kindness and love and contradictions. As Rilke says, "Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final." 22. You will almost certainly live at least some of your life with a disability, or a chronic illness, or with severe pain. Be patient with people. Help to build a more inclusive world. Don't fall too much in love with your own competence. 23. Pain can be a gift that brings you more deeply into the world. 24. Beware certainty. Many seemingly contradictory things can be true at once. In fact, they almost certainly are. There are no goodies and baddies. Your brain a storytelling engine, but reality is more complicated than the stories we tell about it. 25. Try things you think you hate again. Your tastes change! I thought I hated olives until I was 27 then realised I friggen love them. 26. You can't learn anything unless you're prepared to look like a fool. 27. You never have to grow up in any way you don't want to. There is no rule that says you have to stop wearing dungaree shorts at thirty. You are allowed to love anime or superhero movies. You never have to develop an opinion about the best brand of bathroom taps. 28. Don't worry about what other people think of you. Most of the time, they're not even thinking about you. 29. Be specific about both compliments and feedback. "When you did X, the consequence was Y, and it made me feel Z". 30. Write thank you letters to people you're grateful to. 31. You'll probably be grappling with the same few core issues throughout your life, sorry. More Rilke: "Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. **Live the questions now.** Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer." Still, go to therapy, it helps! 32. Go for more walks. 33. Everybody's nuts, and that's fine. All people, once you get to know them, are absurd and hilarious. In my experience, the people who think they've got fewer issues and are more "rational" than other people are just less self-aware. Finding a partner is finding someone with a compatible flavour of crazy to yours. 34. The people you love will visit you in your dreams after they die. I don't know how this works, just that it's true. 35. Don't try to brute-force the jar open. Just whack the edge of the lid with a spoon a few times to break the seal. Voila! ### MUSICAL FUNTIME EAR EXPLOSION URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/musical-funtime-ear-explosion/ Last updated: 2022-06-17T10:53:58.000Z Hello loves! I've spent the past few weeks on a beach in Catalonia reconnecting with my love of music. Yes yes, that's a fancy way of saying that I went to the Primavera Sound festival. It was life-affirming. I am tired and sunburnt. ## 1\. Premium Vera Primavera's amazing but it's constant musical Sophie's choice. Do you go watch Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds or Little Simz? Tame Impala or Run the Jewels? Earl Sweatshirt or... oh shit it's 4am you need to go to bed at some point. It's hard to pick favourites, [but here's my best of Primavera 2022 songlist.](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/55xYbeJPTWqL1UIzwWv8ad?si=c6df318482ab40f1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) I missed Burna Boy but all my friends who caught him said he had the best crowd energy of any performer there. I also missed Earl Sweatshirt, Pavement, Jamie XX, Tame Impala, Idles, Charlie XCX, Beach House, Interpol, M.I.A., Big Thief, Meghan Thee Stallion... impossible choices were made, friends! ## 2\. Sorrow and Bliss ![Sorrow and Bliss Meg Mason](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/06/Pasted-image-20220617101727.png) > “Everything is broken and messed up and completely fine. That is what life is. It's only the ratios that change. usually on their own.” It's a rare, beautiful thing where you hear the author speak and she's just so funny and wise that you immediately buy her books just so you can listen to her talk some more. I heard Meg Mason talk at [Daunt Books](https://dauntbooks.co.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about how long-term relationships are really just an elaborate routine of shared jokes and knew I needed to read everything she's written. Her breakout novel [*Sorrow and Bliss*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/49110165-sorrow-and-bliss?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) was shortlisted for the Women's Prize for Fiction this year. It's about a woman living with a sometimes-debilitating mental illness, trying to make it work with her maybe-too-kind husband Patrick. Except that it's *hilarious*, full of pithy observations like: > “Paris, Martha. “Please go to Paris.” > “Why?” > “Because when suffering is unavoidable, the only thing one gets to choose is the backdrop. Crying one’s eyes out beside the Seine is vastly better than crying one’s eyes out while traipsing around Hammersmith.” I've seen a lot of people compare it to [*Fleabag*](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5687612/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). The shared DNA is a hot-mess 30-something protagonist, a complicated but loving sister relationship, and - as the title suggests - a tone that deftly swerves between wit and deep pain. Mostly, the novel feels very **honest**, especially around ambivalence towards motherhood, what happens when family members suddenly refuse to play the "family role" that's been assigned to them, and in the way that a mental illness can disrupt relationships. I do have one quibble, which is that I don't buy the resolution of the romance plot (I'm keeping that vague and unspoilery, but if you've read the book, please let me know so we can discuss!). But overall, it's great. I 100% recommend the strategy of buying books based on how witty the authors are on panels. > “Everything is broken and messed up and completely fine. That is what life is. It's only the ratios that change. Usually on their own.” ## 3\. Readwise [Obsidian](https://obsidian.md/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) has become absolutely my favourite tool for capturing everything I read, watch and think about - my external brain. I've recently added [Readwise](https://readwise.io/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to the mix: it's a tool that automatically collects anything I highlight in Kindle/Apple Books /Pocket/Twitter/Libby and imports it into Obsidian for me. It can also handle connections to Notion, Evernote, Roam or pure Markdown if that's your vibe. If you're any kind of knowledge worker who reads a lot, give it a try. ## 4\. Wellington Paranormal ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/06/Pasted-image-20220617111452.png) My bestie and I have been loving this spin-off of *What We Do in the Shadows*, about a New Zealand police department responsible for dealing with the supernatural. For example, there's an episode where all of the members of a neighbourhood watch group obtain superpowers and use them to punish people who don't pick up their dog poo. It's so good, very droll, very New Zealand. ## 5\. Survive the Century in SA ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/06/Pasted-image-20220617112810.png) Good news, South Africans! I've found a local printer, so you can now order physical copies of [*Survive the Century* at a reasonable cost](https://shop.sambeckbessinger.com/product/survive-the-century-book/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It's also available at [the Book Lounge](https://booklounge.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) in Cape Town and [Love Books](https://lovebooks.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) in Jozi. It's a perfect lighthearted gift for the climate-conscious person in your life, and a fun way to spend an afternoon. \-- Wishing you a buffet of excellent music, Sam ### Just be a rock URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/just-be-a-rock/ Last updated: 2022-05-20T13:16:30.000Z Hi loves I won't lie to you, this was one of those weeks when it felt like every single project I'm working on hit a brick wall at a speed of 200km/h, and now everything's blood and airbag-smell and deformed crumple-zones. The zero draft of my novel remains on 85%. DON'T ASK. Nevertheless, we persevere! But it was an excellent week for movies and books and TV, so here are five things that got me through an impossible week. ## 1\. Everything Everywhere All At Once ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/05/image-7.png) Don't watch the trailer! Don't read a synopsis! Just go to your closest cinema and buy tickets. It's extraordinary and moving and the man sitting behind me in the theatre laughed so hard that he spat his water all over me AND I DIDN'T EVEN CARE because I was laughing so hard too, and then I was crying because of some ROCKS, and Michelle Yeoh is perfect, and Jamie Lee Curtis is perfect, and Ke Huy Quan is perfect, and Stephanie Hsu is perfect, and the script is perfect, and the [Son Lux score](https://open.spotify.com/album/6dJKjotJRGEE9rmGgmxDWu?si=vl4PrQtORkqxEz2ChTPauQ&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is perfect, and the Daniels' visual imagination is perfect, and it's just... damn. As someone who tries to imagine things for a living, I really appreciated [Daniel Kwan and Dan Scheinert ](https://www.vulture.com/2022/04/everything-everywhere-all-at-onces-influences-explained.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)(the co-directors) talking about how they had to push through feeling like their idea had already been done: **Kwan*: As we were working on the movie, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse came out. It was a little upsetting because we were like, “Oh shit, everyone’s going to beat us to this thing we’ve been working on.”* **Scheinert*: I feel like Rick and Morty was the first.* **Kwan*: Yeah. It was actually hard to watch because we had already been working on the draft for a while. Watching the second season of Rick and Morty was really painful. I was like, “They’ve already done all the ideas we thought were original!” It was a really frustrating experience. So I stopped watching Rick and Morty while we were writing this project.* ## 2\. *Detransition, Baby* ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/05/image-8.png) Just wonderful. *[Detransition, Baby](https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/48890225?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* is a whipsmart debut by Torrey Peters about three people considering whether they can raise a baby together. It's an insightful story about sex and gender, with the three main characters being a trans woman, a detransitioned trans person, and a divorced cis woman. It's deeply honest about some of the messier and more vulnerable parts of womanhood, of sex, of queer identity, of mothering, and a totally fresh take on what parenthood means in the 21st century (*“motherhood is just some vague test designed to ensure that everyone feels inadequate”*). It's also screamingly funny: there's a chapter involving Werner Herzog and bedbugs that had me chortling muesli through my nose. I *hated* the ending in a way that's a huge compliment to the novelist's skill, and I love the book so much I've already started re-reading it. ## 3\. Savage Beauty ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/05/image-9.png) Gah I'm SO into this show, available on Netflix, about a young woman taking revenge on a dysfunctional rich Joburg family who owns a beauty empire. The plot is extremely delicious and twisty, and the characters are E X T R A (I am obsessed with matriarch/queen Grace Bhengu), and it's such a treat to see Joburg on screen in all of its glitz and darkness and energy and complexity (homesick me keeps squealing and yelling at the screen every time I see Turbine Hall or the Orlando Towers or other Jozi landmarks). It made me so damn happy to see that it made it into [Netflix's global top 10](https://top10.netflix.com/tv?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) this week. Creator [Lebogang Mogashoa](https://twitter.com/lebomogashoa?lang=en&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) representing! ## 4\. Boerboel Wear Talking about extremely South African things that make me happy, please can I introduce you to the greatest Instagram account ever made: [Boerboel Wear](https://www.instagram.com/boerboelwear/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Look, I don't know who this brand is aimed at (thirsty tannies? Gay men from Parys? Actual farmers?) but I am here for it. I grew up in Centurion, I don't know what to tell you. They're currently running a ["Boerboel bene kompetisie"](https://www.instagram.com/p/CbHYNTsgZMf/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (best legs) so get your votes in, mense. > [ View this post on Instagram ](https://www.instagram.com/reel/CbHYNTsgZMf/?utm%5Fsource=ig%5Fembed&utm%5Fcampaign=loading) > > [A post shared by Boerboel Wear (@boerboelwear)](https://www.instagram.com/reel/CbHYNTsgZMf/?utm%5Fsource=ig%5Fembed&utm%5Fcampaign=loading) ## 5\. Spite house ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/05/image-12.png) Photo by Samantha Sharp Finally, a delicious monument to spite: this pink house in the middle of an isolated salt marsh in Massachusetts. > According to town lore, the house was built while a local couple was in the process of finalizing their divorce in the 1920s. As part of the divorce agreement, the wife required her husband to build an exact replica of their family home for her. But unfortunately for her, she didn’t specify exactly where. ([Atlas Obscura](https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/plum-island-pink-house?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)) [Some more stories of spite buildings](https://www.theguardian.com/cities/2018/jun/21/spite-buildings-when-human-grudges-get-architectural-in-pictures?utm%5Fsource=pocket%5Fmylist), courtesy of *The Guardian* (via my buddy Simon). Wishing you a more successful work week than I had! Sam ### Survive the Century - now in book form! URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/survive-the-century-now-in-book-form/ Last updated: 2024-10-10T14:08:26.000Z Hi buds :) Remember *[Survive the Century](https://survivethecentury.net/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* \- our funny, science-informed interactive story about the future, where YOU choose how humans respond to the ravages of climate change up to 2100? WELL... I'm EXTREMELY THRILLED to tell you that *Survive the Century* is now available as a ****gorgeous collectible book** that you can hold in your hands, or place conspicuously on your coffee table. You can even leave it to your children, and it will almost certainly be around in 2100. It's awesome because: - The interactive format (“YOU choose the story”) means it's extremely fun to flip back and forth to see how different decisions would have worked out. - It features delicious full-colour illustrations by Annika Brandow and news stories from the future written by leading sci-fi writers like Lauren Beukes, Rajat Chaudhuri, Maria Turtschaninoff and Sophia Al- Maria. - It was co-created by an entire panel of world-renowned climate scientists and sci-fi writers - basically, the Climate Change Avengers. - It’s an ideal gift for teens and young adults who are passionate about climate change, a coffee-table conversation starter for older adults looking for more hopeful climate fiction, and an [engaging tool for educational contexts](https://survivethecentury.net/book/text/endmatter%5Fgroup-reading.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). The best way to buy the book is to **order it from your local bookstore** (anywhere in the world), or [find it here](https://survivethecentury.net/book.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Any profit we make is being funnelled right back into expanding the project (translations, and donations to libraries and schools). > *“Spiky and provocative and hugely fun.”* \- Lauren Beukes *Survive the Century* is an interactive story that positions you as the senior editor of the world’s most popular and trusted news organisation. You have the enviable power to set the news agenda, and thereby shift the zeitgeist. What if you invest in green technology and cut taxes? What if you rewild half of the world’s agricultural land? What if you unleash your inner supervillain and spark WWIII? What if you block out the sun (just a little bit)? The online version of the story was launched in 2021, has already been read over 20,000 times, and was featured in publications like *New Scientist, Gizmodo* and *Stories for Earth*. > [ View this post on Instagram ](https://www.instagram.com/reel/CdqSBS8KaFH/?utm%5Fsource=ig%5Fembed&utm%5Fcampaign=loading) > > [A post shared by Sam Beckbessinger (@greenham\_sam)](https://www.instagram.com/reel/CdqSBS8KaFH/?utm%5Fsource=ig%5Fembed&utm%5Fcampaign=loading) > *“A sneaky-simple game that makes our climate choices real.”* \- Brain Kahn, *Gizmodo* I'm deeply grateful to Electric Book Works, the University of Cape Town, American University, and the National Socio-Environmental Synthesis Center (SESYNC) for making the book edition possible. Lauren Beukes, Rajat Chaudhuri, Maria Turtschaninoff and Sophia Al-Maria were so generous to allow us to include the hilarious, brilliant, strange stories they wrote in this edition. This is my first experience in self-publishing, and yoh it was **hard**, but it would have been 7-billion times harder without the heroic efforts of Arthur Attwell, Klara Skinner, Louise Steward, Lauren Ellwood, Mélissa Godin, Annika Brandow, Chris Trisos and Simon Nicholson. You're all champs, thank you! [Enjoy the book :)](https://survivethecentury.net/book.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Giant squeezes Sam ### Pozdrav iz Dubrovnik 🇭🇷 URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/dubrovnik/ Last updated: 2022-05-13T05:02:13.000Z Hello loves! I'm in Croatia this week, working hard on the zero draft of my new novel. A zero draft is like a first draft, except you don't let yourself think about how bad it is. I'm 81%-ish of the way through and having a blast with it, but I keep getting distracted by how nice it is to nap in the sunshine instead. Apart from sun, the Adriatic sea, trees, ruins, and the adorable streetcats of Dubrovnik, here are five things that made my week: ## 1\. Pocket Do you find yourself leaving dozens of browser tabs open intending to go back and read interesting articles later? Try [Pocket](https://getpocket.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). You add stuff to your reading list with the quick tap of a browser extension button, so you can read it later at your leisure (say, on your phone when you're sitting on the loo). I've rediscovered Pocket recently, and it's really upped the quality of my mindless scrolling time. Recent faves: a gorgeous essay by CJ Hauser - ["The Crane Wife"](https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2019/07/16/the-crane-wife/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- about processing a called-off engagement by joining a scientific expedition studying whooping cranes; ["The Devil Problem"](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1995/04/03/the-devil-problem?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- a remarkable profile of genius religious scholar Elaine Pagels, who revolutionised our understanding of the Gnostic Gospels and the divisions in early Christianity; and Kimon de Greef's totally wild ["The Pied Piper of Psychedelic Toads"](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2022/03/28/the-pied-piper-of-psychedelic-toads?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ## 2\. "Nothing Should Surprise Us" ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/05/image-3.png) Dubrovnik has a fascinating museum of Communist/Socialist history called the Red History Museum, featuring full recreations of 1970s Yugoslavian homes, down to the mustard-green velvet-brocade sofas. Yugoslavia was a **Communist country** from 1946 until 1990, when it broke up into the modern-day countries Croatia, Montenegro, Bosnia, Kosovo, Serbia, Slovenia etc. The form of Communism practiced here was a bit different to the USSR and China: it was less centralised, with more factories and farms run as worker cooperatives, and devolved decision-making rather than pure central planning. And it somewhat worked: from the 1950s to the 1980s, Yugoslavia was one of the fastest growing economies, similar to South Korea. Look, it was no utopia: it was a cruel, repressive state built around a cult of personality for their president-for-life, and there were simmering ethnic tensions that ultimately ripped the country apart. But it's fascinating to reflect on the 20th century's different experiments in how societies can be organised. In the 60s, the state ran regular drills to make sure the populace were prepared for attacks from enemies and natural disasters. In 1967 *half* of Croatia's population participated in a disaster drill on a single day (over 2-million people!) under the title "ništa nas ne smije iznenaditi", **"nothing should surprise us"**. I feel like we could collectively adopt that as the slogan for 2022. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/05/surprise.jpeg) Face-masks of 1967 ## 3\. A happy chart Something else from the Red History Museum that made me smile: this table of infant mortality (year 1) for every 1,000 live births between 1960 and 1990. | Country | 1960 | 1990 | | | ------------ | ---- | ---- | | | Sweden | 16.6 | 6 | | | UK | 22.8 | 8 | | | Italy | 43.9 | 8.2 | | | France | 27.5 | 7.4 | | | West Germany | 35 | 7.1 | | | SR Croatia | 70 | 10.7 | | This is something we don't celebrate enough about the 20th Century - the millions of babies (and the people who give birth to them) that *do not die* every year because of the incredible improvements in healthcare. There is much yet to be done: per birth, [a person in Nigeria](https://ourworldindata.org/maternal-mortality?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is more than 200 times more likely to die in pregnancy or childbirth than a person in Sweden; and reactionaries are actively trying to reverse hard-won reproductive rights in parts of the world (\*side-eyes the U.S. supreme court\*). But we have made so, so much progress. ## 4\. Negotiating a better house price Don Petty Cash has [a great thread](https://twitter.com/iamkoshiek/status/1358386573079945221?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about getting a better price if you buy a house (South Africa-focussed, but the principles apply everywhere). The exact price you buy a property for is one of those hugely outsized financial decisions: getting the cost down by 5% can have a bigger impact on your life than diligently skipping *hundreds* of lattes. It's worth spending time learning figuring out what your negotiation levers are, and pulling them as hard as you can. > Want to save a few hundred grand on a property? Here's how to hustle your dream house for cheaper \[Thread\] > > — Don Petty Cash (@iamkoshiek) [February 7, 2021](https://twitter.com/iamkoshiek/status/1358386573079945221?ref%5Fsrc=twsrc%5Etfw&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) I'm thinking about this a lot right now, because I'm engaged in the utterly foolish endeavour of trying to buy a flat in London. This is 0% for financial reasons and 100% for emotional reasons: after moving 6 times in 5 years and getting stuck on the opposite side of the world from my loved ones in a global pandemic, the idea of owning a house that nobody can boot me out of has become a near-obsession. I'm still skeptical of residential property as *an asset*, but the UK [rent-versus-buy calculator](https://smartmoneytools.co.uk/rent-vs-buy/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) tells me that buying will likely *save me money on housing costs* as long as I stay there for 5+ years, which I absolutely intend to do (TRY to make me move again, TRY it!!!). I've got [an article here](https://sambeckbessinger.ghost.io/ghost/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#/editor/post/5efcba4bda9991003983659c) (and a podcast episode) to help you think through if/when buying a home is right for you, and to understand the impact it will have on your finances. Wish me luck! ## 5\. Eels are weird yo ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/05/image-5.png) I'm reading *[The Book of Eels](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/51938590-the-book-of-eels?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* by Patrik Svensson and can't get over how [strange their lifecycle is](https://www.ted.com/talks/lucy%5Fcooke%5Fno%5Fone%5Fcan%5Ffigure%5Fout%5Fhow%5Feels%5Fhave%5Fsex/transcript?language=en&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It's so weird that the ancients just assumed that they emerged fully-formed out of the mud. To this day, no human has ever witnessed eels breeding, something they do only in the last year of their 50-year-long life, after swimming thousands of miles to a specific spot in a distant ocean. Why, eels?! If you like eels, I can highly recommend a visit to [Ely](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ely,%5FCambridgeshire?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a little town in Cambridgeshire so obsessed with them that villagers used to pay their taxes in eels, locals engrave eel-facts on their gravestones, and they still throw an [annual eel festival](https://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/news/local-news/ely-eel-festival-queen-jubilee-23498183?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (mark your calendars for 5 June). \-- Wishing you sunshine, disaster-preparedness, and barrels of eels, Sam ### Invisible luck, time management, and raunchy pot-plants URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/time-management/ Last updated: 2022-05-06T07:59:59.000Z Hello loves! There have been so many bank holidays that I don't even know what day it is any more, and I'm feeling slightly wistful that I wasn't able to dance with my Cape Town friends at Afrikaburn last week (I've comforted myself by rereading Matthew Barge's eternally hilarious ["I did not go to Afrikaburn: a Survivor's Tale"](https://medium.com/@matthewbarge/humi-did-not-go-to-afrikaburn-a-survivors-tale-3ed0d5604ab8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)). But here are five things that *did* make my week. ## 1\. Time management for mortals ![Cover of the book Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/05/image-2.png) I didn't know how badly I needed to read *[Four Thousand Weeks: Time and How to Use It](https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/54785515-four-thousand-weeks?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* by Oliver Burkeman. It's kind of an anti-productivity book, an argument against how we allow ourselves to feel endlessly guilty about infinite to-do lists and lose sight of the single most important thing we should remember about our time: **it's astoundingly brief**. Four thousand weeks, or eighty years, is all most of us can hope for on this earth. That has to be the starting point for any discussion of time "management". > Productivity is a trap. Becoming more efficient just makes you more rushed, and trying to clear the decks simply makes them fill up again faster. Nobody in the history of humanity has ever achieved 'work-life balance', whatever that may be, and you certainly won't get there by copying the 'six things successful people do before 7 a.m.' The day will never arrive when you finally have everything under control - when the flood of emails has been contained; when your to-do lists have stopped getting longer; when you're meeting all your obligations at work and in your home life; when nobody's angry with you for missing a deadline or dropping the ball; and when the fully optimised person you've become can turn, at long last, to the things life is really supposed to be about. Let's start by admitting defeat: none of this is ever going to happen. But you know what? That's *excellent* news. The real problem, he says, isn't our limited time, but that we've all inherited a set of ideas about *how we're supposed to use* our limited time, and we put things on a never-ending to-do list to avoid actually making choices about **what we want** \- an idea that parallels beautifully with what I've learned about money. I'm reminded of my favourite bit of throw-pillow wisdom: "You can do anything, but not everything." I feel laughably called out by this book, as someone who undoubtedly tries to deny all difficult feelings by creating [over-elaborate productivity systems](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/productivity-isnt-doing-all-the-things/) (my therapist once banned me from making to-do lists for a month). Burkeman, too, is a productivity-geek in recovery, and he's insightful about both the systemic forces that trap us into feeling like we have to DO ALL THE THINGS, and the psychological ones. It's a funny, wise, and deeply motivating book, and I highly recommend it for anyone feeling panicked about not having enough time*.* ## 2\. Sneak-peak I've been on a little self-publishing adventure recently (aided by my brilliant friends at [Electric Book Works](https://electricbookworks.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)) and having way too much fun geeking out about paper weights, book metadata and spine widths. I'll be dropping this VERY EXCITING thing next week (fingers crossed). [Head over to Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/reel/CdFmet5qAD7/?utm%5Fsource=ig%5Fweb%5Fcopy%5Flink) for a sneak-peak. > [ View this post on Instagram ](https://www.instagram.com/reel/CdFmet5qAD7/?utm%5Fsource=ig%5Fembed&utm%5Fcampaign=loading) > > [A post shared by Sam Beckbessinger (@greenham\_sam)](https://www.instagram.com/reel/CdFmet5qAD7/?utm%5Fsource=ig%5Fembed&utm%5Fcampaign=loading) ## 3\. First Draft Pro ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/05/fdp.png) Speaking of writing adventures, my friend Tarryn has just launched the book-writing app of my dreams: First Draft Pro. Imagine if Google Docs and Scrivener had a baby, and that baby cheered you on whenever you hit your writing goals. Things I love about it: - It's all cloud-based so you'll never lose your work. - It's collaborative, ideal for working with editors or co-writers. - There's an outlining tool so you can plan your plot in advance, or just write it as you go, and it's easy to shuffle scenes or chapters around later. - You can store notes and link them to specific lines in the manuscript, or to whole chapters. - It looks *delicious.* I'm excited to open it up every day. I've been using it for new novel I'm working on, trying to have a first draft done by the end of June (EEEEEEEK). I find the daily goal tracker especially motivating. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/05/image.png) My morning so far. Miles to go before I sleep! [Fellow writers, sign up for a free 14-day trial here.](https://www.firstdraftpro.com/features?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## 4\. Is success luck or hard work? I'm a big believer in the fact that success takes hard work, **and** extraordinary luck. So I adored this video from [Veritasium](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHnyfMqiRRG1u-2MsSQLbXA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) that puts this idea to the test, and unpacks some of the psychological biases that make us blind to our own luck. I had two lightbulb moments watching this video: - **The more competitive a challenge is, the luckier you have to be to win.** He demonstrates this with MATHS by creating a simulation of NASA astronaut applicants. - **The more successful you are, the more you're likely to be deluded into thinking the world is fairer than it is.** This isn't because successful people are evil people, it's just that they were luckier than most people, and our luck is less visible to us than our own actions are. Unfortunately, this means that the people who have the most power in the world (business leaders, politicians) are also likely to have the least accurate assessment of how it works. > "We're unaware of our good luck because, by definition, it's not something we did." Acknowledging our luck (and training ourselves to *see* it) gives us a more accurate view of reality, can help us to make a truly fairer world, and makes us happier (because it makes us grateful). But, ironically, deluding ourselves into thinking we have more control over our lives than we do can probably help us be more successful. It's a paradox! ## 5\. A raunchy poem about my pitcher plant Lastly, I have this extremely lovely carnivorous pitcher plant and I wrote a love poem on its behalf. ![A pitcher plant](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/05/image-1.png) Honey gland oiled rim Slick lips So simple to slip Right inside the cavity, Syrup pitcher Lined with glide-hairs, wax-scales, Try nose your way out but I’m false exits, smooth traps. Come on in, the water’s sticky, Squirming, An acid stomach. Thanks, you’re delicious. Hat-tip to my buddy Yellow Sam (to differentiate them from all the other excellent Sams in my life) who challenged me to write an [Oulipo](https://www.theguardian.com/books/booksblog/2013/jul/12/oulipo-freeing-literature-tightening-rules?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) poem by rolling dice to determine the line-lengths. And also said the poem had to be steamy. I hope you'll agree that I followed the brief. Wishing you plenty of timeto do things you love (and write poems), Sam ### Bursting with pride day URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/shining-girls-launch-day/ Last updated: 2022-04-29T12:37:28.000Z Hello grownups! There aren't five things making my week, so much as one huge thing that I'm five times as excited about: ## 1\. Shining Girls launch day! Okes MY BEST FRIEND WROTE A BOOK AND TODAY THAT BOOK IS A REAL SHOW ON APPLE TV STARRING ELIZABETH MOSS AND I AM ACTUALLY OVERWHELMED WITH EXCITEMENT AND HAPPINESS AND PRIDE. *Shining Girls* launches on Apple TV **today**, and I'm so excited for you to see it. It's based on Lauren Beukes's bestselling novel about a woman tracking down the serial killer who might have been hunting her all her life. It's twisty, devastating, and saying something raw and true about what it is to be a woman in the world. Showrunner Silka Luisa has done a great job holding onto the heart of the novel while creating a brilliant TV show that's also entirely its own thing, the cast are perfect (Elizabeth Moss is superb, and I'm obsessed with Jamie Bell's wounded, hungry Harper and Wagner Moura's scruffy but lovable Dan), and it perfectly conjures 1990s Chicago. If you don't already have [Apple TV](https://www.apple.com/za/apple-tv-plus/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), there's a free 7 day trial period, and there are plenty of other great shows on there once you've binged this one (*WeCrashed*, *Ted Lasso*, *Severance*). It's hard to put into words how happy this makes me. Lauren is one of the people I love most in this world, and *Shining Girls* is one of my favourite novels ever written, so seeing the book adapted into something so good and so big just makes me feel all the feelings. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/04/proud.gif) ## 2\. Kubera 0:00 / 1× You'll know that I'm a diehard fan of [22seven](https://www.22seven.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), the South African app that lets you track all your money. Since moving to England, I've tried a dozen different apps to try to replace it. I've finally found settled on something that I think is almost as good, although it's pretty different: **[Kubera](https://www.kubera.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com).** Kubera keeps track of the value of all your assets. You can link your accounts from all around the world (including South Africa *and* the UK), and Kubera will track what they're worth in the currency of your choice. You can even flick between GBP and ZAR if - like me - you're still training your brain to think in a new currency. They also let you track the value of crypto/defi assets (even NFTs), and manual assets (useful if you own a house, direct company shares, or dubloons). There are some features I specifically like: there's a "dead man's switch" so that if you don't log in for a while, it checks if you're alive, and if you don't respond, it gives access to your profile to a trusted person. [This could be very useful in helping your loved ones track down your stuff after you die](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/what-to-do-when-a-loved-one-is-dying/). The design of the app is very simple and minimal, and the aggregation feels very robust. It's not cheap ($150/year) and it doesn't have any spending tracking or budgeting features, so it's really aimed at people who are building a freedom fund and need to track assets across multiple countries. If that's you, give Kubera a try. There's a 7-day free trial. ## 3\. The Burnt City > [ View this post on Instagram ](https://www.instagram.com/p/Cbh-tlGgM4O/?utm%5Fsource=ig%5Fembed&utm%5Fcampaign=loading) > > [A post shared by Punchdrunk (@punchdrunkint)](https://www.instagram.com/p/Cbh-tlGgM4O/?utm%5Fsource=ig%5Fembed&utm%5Fcampaign=loading) If you're planning to be in London any time between now and December 2022, get your ass to the new Punchdrunk installation, *[The Burnt City](https://onecartridgeplace.com/theburntcity/?utm%5Fsource=punchdrunk.com&utm%5Fmedium=Website&utm%5Fcampaign=TheBurntCity)*. You've got to book a few months ahead (next availability is currently June). We booked our tickets last *September??* This continues to be the thing about living in London that baffles me the most, trying to plan several months ahead for everything. But this one's worth it! *The Burnt City* recreates the ancient city of Troy across several floors of an abandoned warehouse. You get to explore it at your pleasure, open doors, peer into storage trunks, flip through the letters soldiers have written to their loved ones (a snoop's dream). Actors move through the space, re-enacting snippets of the *Illiad* and Greek myths, and you can follow them through their stories. If you're lucky, you might even get drawn into one of them. It's immersive, immediate, embodied... a tonic after two years of Zoom-based screen-mediated entertainment. Highly recommended. ## 4\. "I Class Up A Joint" Rachel Connolly's [recent *Gawker* essay lamenting about the current trend in maudlin personal essays](https://www.gawker.com/culture/the-pity-me-personal-essay?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) led me to this absolute gem of a 1978 *New York Times* piece by American poet Rene Ricard, ["I Class Up A Joint"](https://timesmachine.nytimes.com/timesmachine/1978/11/20/111179774.html?pageNumber=31&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which is a hilarious rejection of the moral imperative of having a job. It's a screamer. > I've never worked a day in my life. If I did it would probably ruin my career, which at the moment is something of a cross between a butterfly and a lap dog. ## 5\. Wingspan ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/04/image-5.png) Image by Eliot Phillips Do you like elaborate boardgames with hundreds of pieces and thick rulebooks? Do you also like bird facts? BOY, do I have a game for you. [Wingspan](https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/266192/wingspan?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is a delicate board game where the aim is to attract birds into your bird park. You can play alone, or against up to four other players. It's somehow both strategically intricate and deeply relaxing. The gameplay is delightfully balanced; it's extremely pleasing how all your birds work together as the rounds progress, how your bird-engine gets more and more powerful with each play. And there's something about the little wooden pastel-coloured eggs, the birdhouse-shaped dice-roller, the little bird facts squeezed onto the bottom of every card... mmmmmmmmm... it's like insta-relaxation. Adorably, there's a whole ecosystem of homemade upgrade accessories like [knitted nests to hold your pastel eggs](https://www.etsy.com/listing/932110053/wingspan-nests?click%5Fkey=55e017142d6f2f1713448868ad9d864e9b5c5501%3A932110053&click%5Fsum=a59a084f&rec%5Ftype=ss&ref=pla%5Fsimilar%5Flisting%5Ftop-2), [clay mice and worm food tokens](https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/918181732/wingspan-food-resources?gpla=1&gao=1&&utm%5Fsource=google&utm%5Fmedium=cpc&utm%5Fcampaign=shopping%5Fuk%5Fen%5Fgb%5Fa-toys%5Fand%5Fgames-games%5Fand%5Fpuzzles-board%5Fgames-other&utm%5Fcustom1=%5Fk%5FCj0KCQjwma6TBhDIARIsAOKuANwOSAKQIgdJzt1qEU4%5F6r31I1QUusBlF%5FTSl62OX53Cr5uOgyuC2okaAgRFEALw%5FwcB%5Fk%5F&utm%5Fcontent=go%5F12577614870%5F118376923814%5F507650248792%5Faud-1184048147899:pla-314262775187%5Fc%5F%5F918181732engb%5F102858184&utm%5Fcustom2=12577614870&gclid=Cj0KCQjwma6TBhDIARIsAOKuANwOSAKQIgdJzt1qEU4%5F6r31I1QUusBlF%5FTSl62OX53Cr5uOgyuC2okaAgRFEALw%5FwcB), [wooden birdhouses](https://www.etsy.com/listing/948722100/wooden-wingspan-dice-tower?click%5Fkey=a3029c62cab0a78f969e3fd6f8a13431adfdddc8%3A948722100&click%5Fsum=1f0785a2&rec%5Ftype=ss&ref=pla%5Fsimilar%5Flisting%5Ftop-1&cns=1) to roll your dice with. The whole thing is just very wholesome and extremely good. \-- Now scram. Go watch *Shining Girls!* Wishing you pride in all of your friends, Sam ### Is your job meaningful? And does it have to be? URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/is-your-job-meaningful/ Last updated: 2022-04-22T15:05:47.000Z Hello loves! Five things I've been musing on this week. ## 1\. Musing about meaningful careers I was chatting to my friend Rachel the other day about how preposterous it is that we expect 20-somethings to choose their lifelong careers, when we usually know bugger-all about what those jobs will actually be like. We're usually attracted to jobs because of the "big stuff" - the lofty sense of whether they're a way to do good in the world, or if they're prestigious, or if they match up with our identity. But, often, it's the gritty details about what that job is like minute-to-minute that really make us love or hate it. And we have TERRIBLE information about what most jobs actually look like... demonstrated most hilariously by the hashtag #badstockphotosofmyjob on Twitter. > As an astronomer I can't live without my lab coat and goggles. You have no idea how many times they've prevented dark matter from staining my shirts and comet dust from getting in my eyes[#badstockphotosofmyjob](https://twitter.com/hashtag/badstockphotosofmyjob?src=hash&ref%5Fsrc=twsrc%5Etfw&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [pic.twitter.com/H6O1ryciXV](https://t.co/H6O1ryciXV?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) > > — Dr. James O'Donoghue (@physicsJ) [June 14, 2021](https://twitter.com/physicsJ/status/1404360185011793932?ref%5Fsrc=twsrc%5Etfw&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Rachel was telling me that she became a lawyer because big noble goals, but it was only when she got her first job at a law firm that she learned there was one TINY MINOR detail nobody warned her about: **lawyers have to account for their time in six-minute increments**. Literally, you have to track what you're doing for *every six-minute interval of the workday.* That's not the kind of detail that we tell teenagers when they're thinking about CHANGING THE WORLD by studying law, but it's absolutely the kind of thing that might make a job utterly unbearable in reality. The way to get around this is to give young people more opportunities to shadow people in their real jobs, especially young people who wouldn't otherwise get to meet people from those careers. Choosing a career is a classic example of a [hard decision](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-to-make-hard-decisions/) where there's no right answer, but it's also one where active information-gathering can help a lot. So, if you have a job, **can you make space for any young people to come and see what it's really like?** ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/04/image-1.png) Don't come around to MY office, though. It's literally just me doing this for eight hours a day. I think part of the problem is that we ask a LOTfrom our careers. For many of us, it's our main source of **meaning** (and therefore, identity), our primary sense of **community and status**, the thing that **gives us money**, and also the thing that structures **what our days look like** (e.g. are you logging your activities every six minutes; are you wearing a lab coat and pointing at comet dust). It's helpful to explore all of those elements, when we're considering careers. Not just what a career *means*, but what the average Tuesday looks like. One of the most life-changing lectures I ever had was from Prof. Amy Wrzesniewski, who studies how people perceive the meaningfulness of their jobs. She spoke about a latitudinal study she was involved in where she interviewed workers at a hospital, at all levels from janitors to brain-surgeons. What was interesting is thatshe found people at all levelswho mostly spoke about their job as **instrumental**, just something they did because it let them earn money, but the stuff they cared about was outside the job. She found others who were mostly **socially motivated** \- they liked their colleagues and felt a duty towards them, they liked being part of a team and didn't want to let their work-friends down. And she found some who felt that their job was a calling, that it **inherently meaningful** because it was a way of serving others. The interesting thing is that Amy found similar rates of these motivations at every level of the hospital hierarchy.I remember Amy saying that when she asked one of the janitors what her job was, she said something like, "I help people heal by keeping their rooms comfortable and hygienic", and she described how she forms such bonds with patients that she still writes letters to some of them after they're discharged. Amy refers to this as "job crafting": it's not just telling yourself a different story about your job, but actually doing it differently (in the cleaner's case, by making human connections with the patients, learning what cleaning chemicals were likely to irritate them less, staying in touch, etc.). And the inverse, she spoke to some surgeons who felt like it was "just a job". **People are different**. Some people need their job to serve a higher purpose, others don't. Some people care about the tribe their job makes them part of, others about how the job can enable them to do entirely unrelated non-job things they care about more. Part of figuring out your career, is figuring out *what you need your career to do for you.* Rachel - if you're curious - realised she's mostly someone who needs to be part of a team she likes and respects. She works for the government now, advising on the legal aspects of education policy, and she hasn't had to log her time in years*.* ## 2\. Radical candour On a related note, if you manage people, I can make a strong recommendation for Kim Scott's book *[Radical Candour](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29939161-radical-candor?ref=sambeckbessinger.com).* It's the only management book I've ever actually enjoyed, as long as you can ignore some of the barf-worthy Silicon Valley-speak. I like it because in addition to making a very sensible main point ("just be a human being, dammit") it's full of helpful practical tips like: - How to give an authentic compliment in a helpful way - never make it a judgement on who they are as a *person* (you're so clever and brilliant!). Rather talk about a specific thing someone did and the result it had. Ditto for criticism. - Start with asking for criticism, not giving it. Ask this question often: Is there anything I could do or stop doing that would make it easier to work with me? - If a debate is going on for too long, make people switch sides and articulate/defend the other perspective. - Try to have difficult conversation walking side-by-side, not sitting face-to-face. - If you're about to have a tough conversation with somebody, offer them a bottle of water first. The simple act of unscrewing the water bottle and taking a sip can give them the few seconds they need to think, pause, and compose themselves, if they want to. *Radical Candour* talks about how all teams need both "superstars" and "rockstars" (yes barf-barf-barf) - where "superstars" are the people who want to learn and be challenged and grow into their next job, and "rockstars" are the solid types who have already found their groove, thanks, and just need to be honoured and rewarded. You need both! A boss's job is not to provide purpose. A boss's job is to know every person in your team well enough that you understand *their* sense of purpose. And respect the fact that it might not lie inside the job. ## 3\. The Financial Times Climate Game I loved[this little text-based game from the *Financial Times*](https://ig.ft.com/climate-game/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)that challenges you to set policies to save the planet from the worst effects of climate change by 2050\. HOWEVER it doesn't contain as many jokes about Jeff Bezos as our version, *[Survive the Century](https://survivethecentury.net/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com),* SO THERE. ## 4\. My favourite Trump LONDON IS THE BEST there are these free nerdy lectures you can go crash all the time on arbitrary subjects. I went to a lecture about the English painter William Hogarth and learned that he was constantly trying to paint his pet pug into everything. Hard relate. His pug's name was Trump, and his tongue wouldn't stay in his mouth. I love him. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/04/image-2.png) The only Trump I want to cuddle. Interesting side-note, in 18th century England, if you couldn't pay your debts, they'd legit just throw you in prison. Hogarth's father wound up in one because he kept losing his money on preposterous business schemes, including starting a cafe in London where you were only allowed to speak Classical Latin. Surprisingly, this was not a wild success. ## 5\. Is your bank funding fossil fuels? Climate Town had a great video about the banks that are still lending money to the fossil fuel industry while our planet burns. One of the things we can do to help is to make it a *reputation risk* for banks to keep doing this, in other words, **tell them you're mad**, and take your money elsewhere if they don't stop. In the UK and Germany, you can check if your bank is secretly funding climate chaos [using this tool](https://bank.green/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (and maybe this will be the last reason you need to move to Starling or Monzo, the best UK banks by miles, neither of whom are funding fossil fuel companies). In South Africa, all the big banks SAY they have a plan to divest by fossil fuels, but [they've set themselves *very* generous timelines for this](https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/article/2022-03-03-south-african-banks-financed-8-4bn-in-african-fossil-fuel-projects-since-2016?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (I'm looking at you Standard Bank, AKA the 7th biggest funder of fossil fuels in Africa, who is planning to stop funding **new fossil fuel facilities** in 2030, and hopes to achieve net zero carbon emissions in its portfolio by 2050, despite the fact that reaching the goal of 1.5C warming requires us to move much faster than that). Wishing you pugs in wigs, Sam ### A little bit of good news about the climate crisis - yes! Actually! URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/a-little-bit-of-good-news-about-the-climate-crisis/ Last updated: 2022-04-08T14:34:54.000Z Hello loves, HIDE YOUR VALUABLES because I'm over my Covidtine and back out in the world looking for mischief. It feels extremely good to not be in my flat any more, and to once again have functioning lungs. Workwise, I'm 55k into the zero draft of a very ridiculous new novel, working on a guide for South Africans moving to the UK, and incubating some TV projects. Lifewise, living in London continues to be the greatest. I think I've finally figured out the Northern Line and experienced my first 1am kebab, which makes me practically a native. Here are five things that have been bringing me joy. ## An actually hopeful video about climate change You might have missed it amongst all the horror coming out of Ukraine, but the latest IPCC report (the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change) was released recently. As you'd expect, it warns that the world is not yet doing nearly enough to limit global warming. But it also lays out clear actions that could still allow us to limit warming to 1.5-2°C if we force our governments to act decisively and quickly. Dr Simon Evans, the deputy editor of *Carbon Brief*,[ had a great summary](https://twitter.com/DrSimEvans/status/1510995608772952072?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) of key points, and contributed to a [much longer, but easy-to-understand Q&A](https://www.carbonbrief.org/in-depth-qa-the-ipccs-sixth-assessment-on-how-to-tackle-climate-change?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) if you want to understand more of the details. > 🚨 > > The [@IPCC\_CH](https://twitter.com/IPCC%5FCH?ref%5Fsrc=twsrc%5Etfw&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) report on how to tackle climate change is finally out, covering nearly 3,000 pages > > Look out tomorrow for [@CarbonBrief](https://twitter.com/CarbonBrief?ref%5Fsrc=twsrc%5Etfw&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) in-depth summary > > Here are some highlights > > 1/ Global GHG emissions are at highest ever level, but growth has slowed[https://t.co/lZ0CpDIhMQ](https://t.co/lZ0CpDIhMQ?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [pic.twitter.com/oQDs6avMGz](https://t.co/oQDs6avMGz?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) > > — Simon Evans (@DrSimEvans) [April 4, 2022](https://twitter.com/DrSimEvans/status/1510995608772952072?ref%5Fsrc=twsrc%5Etfw&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) But engaging with stuff about climate change can be devastating, draining, debilitating. So many of the young people I speak to say they feel hopeless. Which is why the first thing I encourage you to do is to watch this superb 16-minute video from Kurzgesagt: ["We WILL fix climate change!"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxgMdjyw8uw&t=837s&ab%5Fchannel=Kurzgesagt%E2%80%93InaNutshell&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) It might be the most important video I've seen about climate change in a long time. It was a great reminder to me that hope is not naive; it's necessary. And - believe it or not - there are reasons to be hopeful, from plummeting renewable energy prices to the decoupling of emissions growth and economic growth. **[Watch the video here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxgMdjyw8uw&t=837s&ab%5Fchannel=Kurzgesagt%E2%80%93InaNutshell&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** ## The joy of open access [I've written before about how giving your best work away for free](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/lets-all-make-gifts/) can be punk as hell and the cure for hopelessness. Making information freely available makes things possible that wouldn't be possible otherwise: > When something is free, it can go further. Free is a multiplier of impact. Wikipedia could not have been the greatest and most accurate encyclopedia the world has ever seen unless it was created by volunteers. Some estimates say that 80-90% of all software is made up of open-source code. Free work is the source of most art and music in the world (I mean, just go check out the 1.6-billion things anyone is free to "use and remix" on Creative Commons). Heck, the free work our parents did for us is the only reason any of us made it to adulthood. Free work holds societies together. The best free work I've ever done has been for social impact publisher [Book Dash](https://bookdash.org/team-members/sam-beckbessinger/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), who gathers creative professionals who volunteer to create new, African storybooks that anyone can freely translate and distribute. Every few months, I get the most delightful emails from them telling me about all the adventures my books have been going on without me. One of our books, *Lost Toy*, illustrated by Amy Slatem, designed by Natalie Pierre-Eugene and edited by Glynis Lloyd, has been read on the [Storyberries](http://storyberries.com/author/book-dash/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) site alone **131,068 times**, and distributed as **26,833 physical copies**. I can't tell you how happy numbers like this make me. To put them in context, selling 5,000copies of a book is enough to get you on the bestseller list in South Africa. If you're looking for excellent, high-quality kids books in a variety of African languages with locally-relevant content, you can [read over 100 of them here](https://bookdash.org/books/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Feel free to do whatever you like with them! ## On the limits of forgiveness I just loved, loved [this interview by philosopher Lucy Allais](https://www.vox.com/vox-conversations-podcast/22899471/forgiveness-american-politics-polarization-lucy-allais?fbclid=IwAR1tWrqkZom5bhcVKVKqaOafcf-P653qEL3Quq%5FKjIxvZkWny%5FwX4UiI%5FiI&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about forgiveness, which she describes as an emotional change where you can release the anger you feel at someone, *while you still believe that what they did was wrong.* > "In order to grow, and even just to act, people need to be able to integrate a sense of themselves as having done something wrong with being okay, still lovable. This is scary and takes strength. Part of the gift of forgiveness, and what can be powerful about it, is that seeing another in this hopeful way — as having done something wrong, but still lovable, still okay — creates a space in which there is a possibility for them to face their flaws without needing defensive denial." Lucy grew up in Apartheid South Africa, so she has some wise and nuanced thoughts about the *limits* of forgiveness, and how forgiveness does not release you from accountability. It's a wonderful, nuanced interview, and Lucy is very wise. ## Basotho blankets Just a total delight: Mojela oa Makoae had [a fascinating thread](https://twitter.com/%5FMojelaMasupha/status/1510194327284236289?s=20&t=g3vVcq2QZ9Z5PGKd%5FdRSLA&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) on Twitter about the meanings behind different designs of Basotho blankets. I particularly love this one, called Majantja, because it features four sweet perfect doggos. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/04/image.png) I think these good boys are Maluti guardian dogs - can anyone confirm? > Blanket thread. > > I have been asked in the past to share my knowledge about various Basotho blanket designs and how they came about. > > These two are the official Seanamarena Blankets. > 1st frame depicts the fact that Lesotho is a monarchy. Seanamarena sa Korone (Crown) [pic.twitter.com/cDGGwHlt2r](https://t.co/cDGGwHlt2r?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) > > — Mojela oa Makoae (@\_MojelaMasupha) [April 2, 2022](https://twitter.com/%5FMojelaMasupha/status/1510194327284236289?ref%5Fsrc=twsrc%5Etfw&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Wishing you hope for the world, and four dogs, Sam ### Covidtined! URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/covidtined/ Last updated: 2022-03-31T13:55:06.000Z Hi grownups :) Last week, I managed to produce the most Covidy Covid test line that anyone has ever produced. Like I'm almost... proud? So I have been stuck in isolation for over a week now, and I am b o r e d . Luckily my symptoms haven't been too bad, except that I've had awful **brain frog**, which is like brain fog except you're also cold and clammy. Getting better slowly though! I hope to be able to re-enter the world soon and once again enjoy thrilling activities like breathing through my nostrils and swallowing. In the meantime, here are five things that have been bringing me joy in my covid-quarantine. ![Jungle Beat season 8](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/03/image-17.png) ## 1\. Jungle Beat Season 8 on YouTube One of the most fun projects I worked on last year was season 8 of *Jungle Beat*, a family-friendly comedy series by [Sunrise Productions](https://www.sunriseproductions.tv/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and directed by comic genius/madman and dear friend [Sam Wilson](http://www.samwilsonwriting.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It's about the adventures of a goofy elephant called Trunk and her fun-loving best friend Munki, who spend a lot of the season outfoxing a group of human explorers who've invaded their jungle. The episodes are being[ posted onto YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChUHOEe7zgYmrv7a%5FLlpNng?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) week by week. So far, you can watch two episodes I wrote: ["Costume Party"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgBLIL-OVMk&list=PLieSYaoe%5FsRJ6tOaiB89-YP6hvLXHYfrK&index=3&ab%5Fchannel=JungleBeat&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and ["Lost and Found"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfU2OnHgfqo&list=PLieSYaoe%5FsRJ6tOaiB89-YP6hvLXHYfrK&index=4&ab%5Fchannel=JungleBeat&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). I hope you enjoy watching them as much as I enjoyed working on them :) ## 2\. Your brain is a story engine Ah man, I recently came upon [the most delightful 1944 psychology experiment.](https://www.all-about-psychology.com/fritz-heider.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Psychologists Fritz Heider and Marianne Simmel showed participants short animated films featuring shapes, like this one: ![Short animation of two triangles and a dot](https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/cdmIpQzjwin70OeiN8bLyPN0BR8VWpVanC8IVC7HFEjnotYbJuydibQqtarOZHxKnaCHYI_k296NF93i4qzGh0_K1OiVTXEVdjo70Zzck_knM9Cr0YLVWA5cEqbdPSApQMVrNd_2wQyg) A clip from one of Heider and Simmel's 2-minute animated films They showed these films to 114 participants, and asked them to write down what happened in the film. Only **three people**, out of 114, stuck to geometric terms in their description (e.g. "A large solid triangle is shown entering a rectangle"). The **other 111** automatically **told a story** about what was going on. These stories were often rich and satisfying tales: > A man has planned to meet a girl and the girl comes along with another man. The first man tells the second to go; the second tells the first, and he shakes his head. Then the two men have a fight, and the girl starts to go into the room to get out of the way and hesitates and finally goes in. She apparently does not want to be with the first man. The first man follows her into the room after having left the second in a rather weakened condition leaning on the wall outside the room. The girl gets worried and races from one corner to the other in the far part of the room. Man number one, after being rather silent for a while, makes several approaches at her; but she gets to the corner across from the door, just as man number two is trying to open it. He evidently got banged around and is still weak from his efforts to open the door. The girl gets out of the room in a sudden dash just as man number two gets the door open. The two chase around the outside of the room together, followed by man number one. But they finally elude him and get away. The first man goes back and tries to open his door, but he is so blinded by rage and frustration that he cannot open it. So he butts it open and in a really mad dash around the room he breaks in first one wall and then another. Heroes and villains! Battles! Love and humour! It's all right here, folks, in these descriptions of **animated shapes.** It's not even that our minds *can* turn chaos into stories, it's that they *have to*. Seeing a story is automatic. It's human. It's what our minds are wired to do. Stories are the operating system that our minds run on. It's my favourite thing about humans. ## 3\. Book feast! On that note, what I've mostly been doing in my isolation is gorging on books (and the Channel4 game show *[Taskmaster](https://taskmaster.tv/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*). I adored [*My Heart is a Chainsaw*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/55711617-my-heart-is-a-chainsaw?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=aOz7jIiqqe&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)by Stephen Graham Jones, which Lauren Beukes was raving about. It's about an angry teenage outcast named Jade who's obsessed with slasher movies, and is increasingly convinced there's one unfolding in her town. It's really gutsy and wild and the plot swerves in all sorts of ways you don't expect it to. Charlie Jane Anders' *[All the Birds in the Sky](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25372801-all-the-birds-in-the-sky?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=YV7NI89QBM&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* is about a witch and a mad scientist who become best friends as teenagers, whose lives keep entwining as they grow up, despite their different worldviews. It's beautifully written and heartfelt, and it explores a lot of stuff about ecological grief, fury at an unjust world, and the mistakes we make in trying to fix it. Loved it. I also finally read Thomas Hardy's *[Jude the Obscure](https://www.goodreads.com/search?q=jude+the+obscure&qid=&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, approximately sixteen years after I was SUPPOSED to read it for an English assignment (whoops lol). And damn, it SLAPS. It was first published in 1895 but it's still shocking. It's about a working class man who dreams of going to university, but instead things just get... um... worse and worse for him. It's bleak. And brilliant. Not a beach read. (Sidenote: I recently learned that Hardy originated the term "cliffhanger" in his serialised story *A Pair of Blue Eyes* where he ended one instalment with his protagonist literally hanging off a cliff, what a dick!) Speaking of things that really hold up, I've been rereading all the Terry Pratchetts I loved as a teenager and am pleased to report that they're still amazing. They might have even gotten better with time? *[Witches Abroad](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2442.Witches%5FAbroad?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=LUW6o3NdV8&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com),* particularly, is much funnier now that I live in England and have more first-hand experience of how absurd English small-town mindsets are. ![Holland House Library damaged in the Blitz (Harrison for Fox Photos Ltd)](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/03/image-16.png) Holland House Library damaged in the Blitz (Harrison for Fox Photos Ltd). Regardless of the circumstances, we keep reading. ## 4\. Martha Nussbaum on mercy Okay is it just my Covid-brain, or is this [2016 *New Yorker* profile](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2016/07/25/martha-nussbaums-moral-philosophies?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) of philosopher Martha Nussbaum not the wildest thing you've ever read? It paints a portrait of a woman whose work is all about honouring human vulnerability, while she is personally oddly harsh on herself. It makes for a fascinating character study, and includes some careful thoughts about rage and mercy. > We become merciful, she wrote, when we behave as the “concerned reader of a novel,” understanding each person’s life as a “complex narrative of human effort in a world full of obstacles.” There's a part where she describes how she couldn't stop working while her mother was dying, and she wonders if her ability to be productive at such times reflects a cruelty or coldness in her ("I thought, It's inhuman – I shouldn't be able to do this."). And in the lecture she prepares while not being at her mother's deathbed, she describes how the Roman philosopher Seneca, at the end of each day, reflected on his misdeeds before saying to himself, “This time I pardon you.” The whole piece is amazing. I can't stop thinking about it. ## 5\. Edward Lloyd I have kind of a soft spot for brazen charlatans. So I was delighted to learn that the park near my house is named after an utter cad: [Edward Lloyd](https://edwardlloyd.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). There are just so many amazing things about this dude. - He made a fortune from blatantly plagiarising Charles Dickens, producing shoddy rip-offs like *Oliver Twiss* (not *Oliver Twist*) and *Nickelas Nicklebery* (not *Nicholas Nickleby*). Dickens took him to court and they had to **invent new laws** to get Lloyd to stop (the 1842 Copyright Act). - Although, and I love this detail, the judge in the case said that the ripoffs were so shitty that no-one would ever confuse them for the real thing, “No person who had ever seen the original could imagine the other to be anything else than a counterfeit, bearing no resemblance to the thing it was intended to imitate.” Kekekekeke. - Lloyd later grew a publishing empire of "penny dreadfuls", and was the first person to publish a novel featuring "the demon barber of Fleet Street" Sweeney Todd. - He launched a newspaper called *Lloyd's Weekly*, and to market it, stamped the paper's name into the copper coins he'd pay his staff with (which would then circulate through the economy... free advertising!). Once again, England had to **invent new laws** just to stop him doing this. I think I just love the idea that you can chart your impact on the world by the number of laws invented specifically to stop your nonsense. By that measure, Edward Lloyd is a hero. Wishing you a lack of frogs in your brain, Sam ## ### Leashing your anxiety URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/leashing-your-anxiety/ Last updated: 2022-03-19T08:31:22.000Z Hi loves! It's been a bit of an anxious week for me, so I've been thinking a lot about better ways to manage it. Here are 5 quick things I thought worth sharing. ## 1\. There's no moral imperative to be miserable My friend Georgina sent me this superb essay that's been humming away in my brain since I read it: ["There's no moral imperative to be miserable."](https://mentalhellth.xyz/p/there-is-no-moral-imperative-to-be?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) The basic problem it describes: after years of raising awareness of mental health issues as **an individual medical problem**, and encouraging people to seek help, rates of anxiety and depression keep increasing rather than decreasing. This is [a trend that started long before Covid](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7441973/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), but of course Covid made it all much worse. So a counter-narrative started developing: **mental health struggles are structural rather than individual**. It's the system, not you. Now, that's obviously somewhat true, but when taken as a *complete* truth, this belief tells you that the only solution to your personal suffering is changing the system (usually in a vague huge way like "end capitalism" or "full revolution now" or "dismantle the patriarchy"). But because that's not something you can actually do, you're stuck in this hopeless nihilism where you can do *nothing* to improve your situation. The world is unfair and everything sucks, so you are DOOMED to unhappiness. Doomed! This was something that I grappled with often when writing about personal finances. Money is obviously extremely structural, and it's important to understand how unfair the system is. But if you are not lucky enough to have been born rich, it's also incredibly disempowering to believe there's *nothing* you can do about it short of redesigning the whole economy. So what do we need to do? We need to resist this false dichotomy. Both things can be true: 1. The system sucks and we should work to make it better, AND 2. There are things you as an individual can do to suffer less within that system. > There is a balance to be struck between acknowledging the truth of an idea like, “capitalism causes mental illness,” without resigning yourself entirely to its implications—specifically, that you won’t get better until the world around you does. The truth is we might be waiting a long time for that to happen. But there are often actions we can take to mitigate the effects of our environment: even in the face of the most brutal exploitation and oppression, people have worked together and changed their circumstances for the better—and, if we’re being honest, plenty of people in the Global North who have bought wholesale into the idea they are victims of neoliberalism are facing rather a lot less than that. Agency is not distributed equally, but that’s not to say normal, non-wealthy people don’t have it, or that you need to be a millionaire to exercise it. I recommend reading [the whole essay](https://mentalhellth.xyz/p/there-is-no-moral-imperative-to-be?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). The brilliant Laurie Penny wrote [an essay](https://thebaffler.com/war-of-nerves/laurie-penny-self-care?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) with similar themes back in 2016\. And [here's my list of resources for affordable mental health](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-to-manage-depression-like-a-grownup/) support in South Africa. ## 2\. Slower news One of the things that I've had to remind myself of this week is how important it is for my own mental health to actively **slow my news intake**. I think of my anxiety like a radar scanning the environment for threats. To some extent, anxiety is very helpful if it helps you anticipate and avoid bad things happening to you. Anxiety exists because it's adaptive, and we all need some anxiety to survive. But it's only helpful to a point, and when your early-warning-anxiety system gets overreactive it's can become actively harmful to you. It's like if you put a security alarm in your house, but it goes off every five minutes because you've got cats, so you can't get any sleep. Ironically, many of us end up suffering more from worrying about things that MIGHT happen than we suffer from bad things actually happening. Anxiety on a leash is useful; anxiety rampaging around your brain tearing up your mental furniture makes your life 100x worse and will actually [make you die faster](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5082973/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#:~:text=The%20risk%20of%20death%20by,compared%20with%20the%20general%20population.) (something else for you to worry about, fun!). Scanning the environment for threats - for me these days - looks like checking the news fourteen times a day to see whether WWIII has started yet, spending even a second on Twitter, tracking Covid numbers. What's been helpful for me is to remind myself that this sort of threat-scanning is only helpful to the extent that: 1. It's not causing me to suffer, 2. It is actually helping me to change my behaviour (why know about awful things you can or will do nothing about?), 3. The information I'm getting is helping me to build a more accurate threat-model of the world (i.e. I **understand** what I'm reading). What all of this translates to for me is to actively try to seek out **slower news sources**: like, it's better for me to read one in-depth book that actually helps me to understand the immune system than to read eighty headlines about brand-new Covid studies I don't really understand (that book, for me, was *[Immune: a Journey into the Mysterious System that Keeps You Alive](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57423646-immune?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* by Philipp Dettmer - highly recommend!). It's better for me to watch [one video to try to understand why the invasion of Ukraine is happening](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMZYKxgc9TE&ab%5Fchannel=vlogbrothers&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) than to check the front page of the *Guardian* twenty times today. Here's my list of [useful resources about the climate emergency](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/useful-resources-about-the-climate-emergency/). For South African politics and economics, the website [explain.co.za](http://explain.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) does a brilliant job helping you understand what's behind the headlines. Have any other **slow news** sources to recommend? I'd love to hear about them! ## 3\. Shining Girls Trailer! EEEEEEEEEE! Onto things that are filling me with joy and hype - [the trailer for *Shining Girls*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0oLYKjmHuU&ab%5Fchannel=AppleTV&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) has dropped and I couldn't be more excited. It’s an adaptation of one of my favourite novels (by South African literary powerhouse Lauren Beukes) and it’s about a time-travelling serial killer. It’s a mind-bender with heart, exploring how trauma ripples through your life forever, and it’s going to be SO DAMN GOOD. If you haven't [read the book yet](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/16131077-the-shining-girls?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), it will be out on Apple TV+ on 29 April, so get on it! ## 4\. Tim Urban on using our time wisely Another great read this week was Tim Urban: "[How Covid Stole Our Time and How We Can Get It Back](https://www.nytimes.com/2022/02/25/opinion/covid-pandemic-depressing-math.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)". It's a reminder that our lives are limited, so it's important to be deliberate and thoughtful about doing what matters to us. His bit about spending time with your parents especially tugged on my heart. > My life, in the best-case scenario, will consist of around 20 years of in-person parent time. The first 19 happened over the course of my first 19 years. The final year is spread out over the rest of my life. When I left for college, I had many decades left with living parents, but only about one year of time left to spend **with** them ... Depressing Math reveals a cold truth: While you may not be anywhere near the end of your life, you may very well be nearing the end of your time spent with some of the most important people in your life. Letting go of the delusion that we have infinite time can be liberating and hopeful, because it can prompt us to use our time more wisely. I loved this piece. ## 5\. Moving to the UK: a guide for overwhelmed South Africans ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/03/image-15.png) A sneak peak of the first few sections I'm working on a little gift for you: packaging all of the tips, spreadsheets, budgets and to-do lists from my move to the UK into a handy interactive guide for other people contemplating the same move. **And I need your help!** 1. **Have you also moved countries?** I'd love to see your budgets, to-do lists, and any tips you have for others! 2. **Are you thinking about moving or are in the process of moving?** What are the things you're finding the most confusing or overwhelming? What questions do you have that you wish somebody would answer? Moving countries is bloody hard and there's no guidebook, but there could be! Let's build one together. Hit reply! \-- Wishing you a good strong leash for your anxiety, Sam ### Useful resources about the climate emergency URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/useful-resources-about-the-climate-emergency/ Last updated: 2022-04-22T09:57:35.000Z A living list of resources that I found helpful in understanding the climate emergency. - **[How to Save a Planet](https://gimletmedia.com/shows/howtosaveaplanet?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* (podcast) - **[All We Can Save ](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/53231994-all-we-can-save?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=0AZpQlFb1E&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*(essay anthology) - Ayana Elizabeth Johnson and Katharine K Wilkinson - ​​*[This Changes Everything](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/21913812-this-changes-everything?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=60kpnSxGQt&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, Naomi Klein (nonfiction book) - *[The Ministry for the Future](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/50998056-the-ministry-for-the-future?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=DYTjItZLQ7&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, Kim Stanley Robinson (novel) - **[Braiding Sweetgrass](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17465709-braiding-sweetgrass?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=Rk3t8wslZS&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com),* Robin Wall Kimmerer (nonfiction book) - *[The Great Derangement](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29362082-the-great-derangement?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=X3ibyCnGQl&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com),* Amitav Ghosh (nonfiction book) - The Kurzgesagt video series (search YouTube) - “[Can YOU Fix Climate Change?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiw6%5FJakZFc&t=12s&ab%5Fchannel=Kurzgesagt%E2%80%93InaNutshell&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)”, “[Is It Too Late To Stop Climate Change? Well, it’s Complicated.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbR-5mHI6bo&t=113s&ab%5Fchannel=Kurzgesagt%E2%80%93InaNutshell&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)”, “[Who is Responsible for Climate Change? - Who Needs to Fix it?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipVxxxqwBQw&ab%5Fchannel=Kurzgesagt%E2%80%93InaNutshell&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)” and "[We WILL Fix Climate Change!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxgMdjyw8uw&t=837s&ab%5Fchannel=Kurzgesagt%E2%80%93InaNutshell&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)" - The YouTube channel [Climate Town](https://www.youtube.com/c/ClimateTown?app=desktop&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - For South Africa, the Politically Aweh YouTube series, "[Climate Change in South Africa: How Bad Can it Be?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=%5FqKq9itUVQ8&t=155s&ab%5Fchannel=PoliticallyAweh&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)", "[Why South Africa is a Climate Change Criminal](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51rGrcmJWwg&ab%5Fchannel=PoliticallyAweh&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)" and "[Can South Africans Fight the Next Apartheid: Climate Change](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51rGrcmJWwg&ab%5Fchannel=PoliticallyAweh&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)" - **[Our Planet](https://www.netflix.com/title/80049832?ref=sambeckbessinger.com),* a Netflix series starring David Attenborough (documentary series) - [World101](https://world101.cfr.org/global-era-issues/climate-change?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (website) - [Global Oneness Project](https://www.globalonenessproject.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (a collection of lesson plans for all ages) - [En-roads](https://en-roads.climateinteractive.org/scenario.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (a tool for climate modelling) --- Check out my interactive story *[Survive the Century](https://survivethecentury.net/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* to see if YOU can help the world survive the climate emergency. [Survive the CenturyA cli-fi game of choice and consequence.![](https://survivethecentury.net/assets/images/web/favicon.png)Logo![](https://survivethecentury.net/assets/images/web/logo.png)](https://survivethecentury.net/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ### "Not an Important Failure" URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/not-an-important-failure/ Last updated: 2022-03-15T09:21:44.000Z Hi grownups! Thank you for all of your feedback about the new newsletter format. A couple of people said that ten things were too many things, so this week I'm trying five. ## 1\. Musee Des Beaux Arts You know when somebody makes something and it's like they made a gift especially for you? Well, [Elisa Gabbert in the ](https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2022/03/06/books/auden-musee-des-beaux-arts.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*[NYTimes](https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2022/03/06/books/auden-musee-des-beaux-arts.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* took one of my favourite poems, which is about one of my favourite paintings, and dissects it line-by-line, drawing connections to the extremely weird world we're living in right now. Like high school English class, but without the smell of 30 adolescents who haven't yet discovered antiperspirant. It's an analysis of "Musée des Beaux Arts" by W. H. Auden, which is largely based on a painting by Pieter Bruegel the Elder called *Landscape With the Fall of Icarus*, which I love so much that I once had printed on a mug. ![Landscape with the Fall of Icarus - Pieter Bruegel the Elder](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/03/image-13.png) Landscape with the Fall of Icarus - Pieter Bruegel the Elder. Notice Icarus drowning in the bottom-right of the image. It's a poem about suffering, and about how easy it is to look away and get on with your life while someone else is suffering, somewhere else. For the ploughman busy with his fields, Icarus's death was "not an important failure". This is what's extraordinary to me about art: Auden wrote this poem in 1938 when Europe was on the brink of World War II, and it still feels entirely applicable to today. We can see the echoes in the events he was writing about in 1938 still reverberating through the newspapers in 2022 (a connection drawn most vividly for me by John Green in the "[Tetris and the Seed Potatoes of Leningrad](https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/anthropocene-reviewed/episodes/anthropocene-reviewed-tetris-and-seed-potatoes-leningrad?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)" episode of *The Anthropocene Reviewed*, where he talks about how Putin's older brother died in that WWII siege). Art draws our attention to the things we should notice. > “History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes.” – often attributed to Mark Twain. ## 2\. Stickers - put em on your bank cards! The 70% off everything sale is nearly done. Thank you for helping me to clear out all my excess books, lovelies. We've still got a few **sticker packs** left to help you split up your money onto different bank cards. [I'm a big believer in having separate bank accounts](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/savings-pockets/) for your fun money (AKA your "Fuckaround Fund"), your serious grownup money, and your emergency fund (AKA the "Oh Shit" fund). These stickers can help you keep track of whats-what. ![Three bank cards with stickers on them](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/03/image-10.png) We've also got bank-card sticker packs designed for teens, with the organisation method that's suggested in my [teen money book](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/manage-your-money-like-a-grownup-teen-edition/) (basics, give, fun, save). There are also bigger stickers for those who prefer putting cash in actual physical envelopes, and balloon cat and snorgle stickers to make you smile. **70% off everything while stocks last**, in South Africa only. And when they're gone, they're gone. [Get 70% off](https://shop.sambeckbessinger.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## 3\. Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd! My musicals-hating partner is away, so Stephen Sondheim is the soundtrack of my life right now (and of my neighbours' lives, sorry neighbours). Highlights have been discovering that the whole original cast recording of *[Sunday at the Park with George](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFQGkm2VFy4&ab%5Fchannel=DaveTeves&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* is available on YouTube somehow, and singing along to *Sweeney Todd* very loudly while cleaning the house (really, neighbours, I owe you flowers). If you've only ever seen the film version of Sweeney, try the original cast recording, it's so much funnier. Angela Lansbury (from *Murder She Wrote*) is the definitive Mrs Lovett. My only complaint about this musical is that I want an alternative ending where Johanna Barker realises that she doesn't need a husband to be free - *girl*, you could just continue to dress up like a sailer and go live your life! [James Barry did it.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James%5FBarry%5F%28surgeon%29?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)\* \* We have no idea how James Barry felt about their gender, but we know from letters that at least part of why Barry lived as a man was to pursue the career they wanted. ## 4\. Spring is the time to be reckless I've written before about [how I like to set a theme for each season](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/life-themes/). Left to my own devices, I have a tendency towards routine, convention, introversion, so this springtime I'm trying to channel my inner Knight of Wands and push myself to embrace the newly-opened world, stop overthinking things, be bolder, love more wholeheartedly. ![Knight of Wands from the Rider-Waite tarot deck](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/03/image-14.png) The Knight of Wands! They have no time for thinking! They are too busy BEING ON FIRE and charging into creative battle! *(Yeah, don't even pretend to be surprised that I'm into tarot. I am nothing if not a walking, talking pansexual stereotype. A friend recently gifted me [Lisa Sterle's wonderful Modern Witch](https://www.lisasterle.com/mwt?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) deck, and it's just the damn best.)* I'm still working on a new novel, and I'm particularly trying to channel the spirit of recklessness into it, because the #1 rule of writing is **Don't Be Boring**. I've printed out [this reminder from Chuck Wendig](http://terribleminds.com/ramble/2021/11/08/a-bucket-of-thought-spiders-dumped-inelegantly-upon-your-head/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and stuck it on the wall above my desk: > Go wild. Throw yourself into the work like a rabid chimp against a sliding glass door. Run pantsless through Wal-Mart. Any of the safety mechanisms and limitations you might usually place on your work, smash ’em with the heel of a boot and see what happens. Like, if we are to view this month as an opportunity to not fall into the trap of *but what does the market want, what are the trends, what will an audience think*, and we further view it as a chance to use our writing as an explosive testing chamber, then you can do anything you want. It’s a sandbox on fire. A heart gushing aerated blood. The empty page is a chance to write the most wonderful thing, or the most fucked up thing, or the most wonderfully fucked up fucked-upedly wonderful thing. Like, sometimes, it’s good to stop and look at that blank page and realize fully, *I can do whatever the hell I want here*. Really. Anything. And I think looking around us, seeing the pandemic, seeing the world changing, seeing the chaos, maybe that’s a sign to embrace this outlook, even if only for this month. We are not guaranteed more time or more chances, but you have this time, you have this opportunity, so why not materialize every want and fear and idea and anxiety you have roiling around your skull? Bring the monsters out to play. See what happens. Throw all the fucks out of the fuck basket, and the fuck basket is now a boat, and you’re going over the waterfall. See you on the other side. Try not to die! ## 5\. Survive the Century, in book-form! With help from my friends over at [Electric Book Works](https://electricbookworks.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), Simon, Chris and I are turning [*Survive the Century*](https://survivethecentury.net/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) into a physical book. Just like the Choose-Your-Own-Adventure™️ books you loved as a kid, you'll be able to flip between pages to see what happens when YOU decide what happens to Earth's future. It will be available in bookstores soon, but here's a SNEAKY SNEAK PEAK at the delicious cover, designed by [Annika Brandow](https://annikabrandow.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ![Survive the Century by Sam Beckbessinger, Simon Nicholson and Christopher Trisos](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/03/STC_Cover_Cover-D--1-.png) Wishing you just a little bit of recklessness, Sam ### Life-themes archive URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/life-themes/ Last updated: 2025-01-17T13:25:16.000Z One of the most helpful things I've been doing for the past few years is setting a **theme** to guide every season. I got this idea from the wonderful CGP Grey, who speaks about why loose themes can be more helpful than setting specific goals and resolutions. As I wrote in my post about [my Winter of Weird:](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-winter-of-weird/) *I've tried a lot of different productivity systems over the years. I am a goddam connoisseur of productivity systems. Setting up new productivity systems is my favourite way to procrastinate, in fact.* *Some of them stick - I've been following some version of the* [***Getting Things Done***](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Getting%5FThings%5FDone?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) *(GTD) approach for over a decade now. GTD is basically about *never keeping your to-do list in your brain*: building a system that lets you collect anything you want to do in an inbox (anything from vague "maybe I should take up pottery..." to a "crap, that article was due yesterday"), and regularly processing that inbox, turning those things into clear, prioritised, actionable to-do lists.* *GTD is the perfect system for anal type-As who love lists, i.e. it's Sam Crack, but it has it's limitations. It's very good at helping you make progress towards actionable productive-y goals, but useless at more holistic health/attitude/mindset-type intentions. Things that aren't about achieving specific, pre-defined things, but are rather about habits, the small decisions we make day-to-day that end up defining who we are. The virtues we cultivate.* *As Grey points out, the other problem with setting goals is that we usually fail to reach them, and that makes us feel shitty and de-motivated.* **Themes*, unlike goals, are gentler. They're broad, so that they can be re-defined as your situation changes. They help you change in a direction, but they don't specify an outcome. Over the years,* [***people have tried themes***](https://www.reddit.com/r/CGPGrey/comments/ei5i4c/cortex%5F95%5Fyearly%5Fthemes%5F2020/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) *like The Year of Poise, The Year of Home, Learning, Attention, Joy, Structure, Reading, Gratitude, Music, Growth, Health, and Simplicity.* I highly recommend Grey's whole video about themes, here: I've found that a **season** is the correct length of time for me to set a new theme. It's not so long that I forget about it, while being long enough that I see meaningful change from it. I've now been setting themes for the past three+ years. Here are the themes I've set myself. ## 2020 - **The Winter of Small Joys**.I was moving countries, which is stressful and lonely. There's so much stuff that's outside of your control. So this was my reminder to myself to make time for tiny things that make me happy like candles and walks and long baths. This turned out to be VERY prescient, because the world shut down in February 2020 and all I had were small joys. - **The Spring of Germination**. Okay, this was a bit *obvious,* fine, but was about gently nurturing new ideas and new writing projects and not giving up on them too soon, and was also a time I was growing a LOT of vegetables (it was lockdown, I had nothing else to do). - **The Summer of Excavation**. I was working on my first novel (then called *Magpies*, now *Girls of Little Hope*) and it was hard because I hadn't figured out the plot. This theme was about challenging myself to just write a draft of my novel even though I didn't know what "shape" it had yet. I loved the imagery of sweating and toiling in the sun to unearth something that was already buried in my unconscious mind. - **The Autumn of Movement**. All about being in my body, walking and running and cycling and stretching and dancing, and also about moving on emotionally from some stuff I needed to let go of. - **The Winter of Weird**. A year of Covid meant I'd fallen into some very boring ruts, and I [needed to challenge myself to inject some strange back into my life](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-winter-of-weird/). ## 2021 - **The Spring of Apprenticeship**. I stepped out of all the other jobs I had and started writing full-time. This was scary as hell. So, this theme was my attempt to try throw a rope over my imposter syndrome, harness it to a chariot and make it do something useful. I tried to let myself *enjoy* feeling like a beginner, and [be deliberate about the process of learning.](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/crafting-your-own-apprenticeship/) - **The Summer of Here**. A year and a half after moving to the UK, I was still feeling unsettled. [I hadn't been able to visit the people I loved back home because of travel restrictions, and I was heartsore](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/not-somewhere-else-but-here/). The theme I gave myself that summer was to just enjoy feeling entirely *present,* to commit to friendships in Cambridge even though I'd decided to leave again, to make a home I knew I was about to pack up, [to plant seeds in our garden](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-old-chesterton-allotment-society/) that I knew I'd never see the fruits of. My mantra was the poem, "Not Somewhere Else, But Here" by Adrienne Rich. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/03/image-12.png) From the Adrienne Rich's poem that was my mantra that summer: **Not Somewhere Else, But Here* - **The Fall of Flexibility**. The world was opening up, but everything was still so up-in-the-air with Covid rules changing all the time. This theme was my attempt to find peace with hoping for stuff but still knowing plans could change at the last minute. Also, I was trying to do more yoga. All this flexibility paid off: I [got to go home](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/a-small-place/) for the first time in two years, and finally figured out [Crow Pose.](https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C5CHFA%5FenGB910GB910&sxsrf=APq-WBtNVVfhYJWcrqDQowdgFtGqv9XpZQ:1647336273824&q=crow+pose&spell=1&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiq47Tr5cf2AhXNSsAKHWclBFQQBSgAegQIARAy&biw=1504&bih=1588&dpr=2&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - **The Winter of Courage**. I decided to uproot my life again and move to London, which required some ovaries, I'll tell you. I was trying to channel the theme of courage in a number of other ways, too: have the courage to *leave the house when it was zero degrees celsius*, have to courage to be more honest with the people in my life, have the courage to write the most outrageous stories I can think of. ## 2022 - **The Springtime of Recklessness**. Left to my own devices, I have a tendency towards routine, convention, introversion. This theme was about pushing myself to embrace the newly-opened world, stop overthinking things, be bolder, love wholeheartedly. I was trying to channel big [Knight of Wands](https://www.biddytarot.com/tarot-card-meanings/minor-arcana/suit-of-wands/knight-of-wands/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) energy. - **The Summer of Less**. I have a tendency to run myself to my limits and then spectacularly crash and burn, so my focus was on trying to do less. Take on fewer projects. Be less rigid about productivity and organisation. Organise fewer adventures and outings. I... did not really succeed at any of this. But I did have a very fun summer! - **The Autumn of Longevity**. After years of disruption, I'd finally started feeling like my life had found some stability. My focus that Autumn was to work on the foundations of that life: healthy routines, my social support network, balance between work and play. Choosing the things that are best for me in the long-term over things that are good for me in the short-term. I managed a lot of yoga and sunscreen, and investing in both new and old friendships. I also cut back on the booze (after 35, one's poor liver becomes less efficient, shem). - **The Winter of Peacefulness**. Trying to be an epicentre of calm amongst a swirling hurricane of external chaos (mostly: buying a flat, and a number of other stressors that were out of my control). Saying no. Enforcing boundaries. Allowing myself to have peace, calm, quiet, solitude. ## 2023 - **The Springtime of Trust**. Allowing myself to proceed with faith that everything would turn out okay. At the beginning of 2021, when I quit all my other jobs and tried to make writing my full-time career, I'd given myself 2 years to try to make it financially viable and said that if it wasn't working by then, I needed to try to find a job again. By spring 2023, I'd officially run out of time, but everything I was feeling was telling me to keep trying just a bit longer. This meant trusting in the people in my life to support me, emotionally and practically, trusting in myself that I could do it, and trusting in the universe a bit. Letting go of a little of my clung-to pathological independence. - **The Summer of Energy**. Trying to be more mindful of the things that energise me, and the things (and people) that drain me. I also went down a deep Andrew Huberman rabbit hole. - **The Autumn of Ambling**. Moving forward, in no great hurry, taking small steps every day. Being present and enjoying the fact that I'm a tiny spec of consciousness who gets to observe the beautiful world. Practical goals included walking 10k steps every day, and revising my daily writing goal *down* from 2,000 words to 1,500. - **The Winter of Presence**. Spending less time on screens and more time in the tangible world. Trying to really *be* with people I was with. ## 2024 - **The Spring of Embodiment**. A continuation of the Winter of Presence, but with a bit more focus on yoga, practising deep breathing, enjoying all of my senses, and going for runs. - **The Summer of Feeling**. Trying to allow myself more room to feel all of my feelings; both good and bad. Lots of therapy - UGH. - **L** **U X U R Y A U T U M N / W I N T E R**. A season of indulgence in lovely things. Dressing up for myself. Eating perfectly ripe fruits. Enjoying the abundance of my life. I had so much fun doing this during Autumn I decided to extend it through Winter, too. *Have you ever tried setting a seasonal theme? Tell me about it!* ### Everything must go URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/everything-must-go/ Last updated: 2022-03-04T13:50:34.000Z Hi loves! Here are ten quick things I wanted to share with you this week. ## 1\. Clearing out my storeroom. Everything must go! In the interest of spring cleaning my entire life, I've decided to shut down my online store. That means it is your TIME to grab books, stickers and gifts at bargain prices. Grab 'em before stock runs out. Delivery in South Africa only. [Get 70% off](https://shop.sambeckbessinger.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ![Manage your Money like a Grownup book, cat cap and sticker set](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/03/image-1.png) Please help me clear out space! I need more room for cat toys. ## 2\. A cut-up poem for Ukraine One of the things I like to do when I feel overwhelmed is make cut-up poems, where you cut words and phrases out of a text and re-arrange them until they feel right. [William Burroughs](https://www.openculture.com/2016/07/how-to-jumpstart-your-creative-process-with-william-s-burroughs-cut-up-technique.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) popularised this in the 1950s, but it's an invention of the 1920s Dadaists. Other great poets who've played around with cut-ups when they feel blocked are Kathy Acker, David Bowie and Austin Kleon. The newspaper this week has been a particularly overwhelming place, so I [made a poem](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/a-cut-up-poem-for-ukraine/). ![cut up poem ukraine](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/03/image-2.png) ## 3\. Minimalist writing setup ![an iPad, keyboard, pen and notebook](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/03/image-3.png) I'm 30,000 words into a new novel (EEEK) and I've been writing in coffee shops and co-working spaces more often. Instead of lugging my whole laptop around, I've been using this more minimal setup when I'm on the go, which all fits inside that cute little handbag. [I've got a full-round up about all the gizmos in my work set up here](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/a-peek-at-my-writing-setup/) if you want links. ## 4\. Giving up booze for Lent I'm giving up alcohol for Lent. One of the less-great habits I picked up since the pandemic was pouring a glass of wine to mark the end of the workday (because I was always in my home), which would turn into two or three glasses every evening before bed. Now, that's probably not *terrible* for you, but I didn't like how I was starting to feel like I needed it. Also, alcohol is kak-expensive in London. Whenever I'm trying to change a habit, I go back to all the stuff I've learned about behaviour change over the years. A great summary of what we know about how people change their habits is called the [transtheroetical model of behaviour change](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transtheoretical%5Fmodel?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which suggests specific processes of change, and claims that some are more useful than others depending on where you are in your process. The thing I've been focusing on this week is **counter-conditioning:** trying to replace my old habit with a new one. Most habits work on a cue, action, reward cycle. It can be hard to remove the cues from your environment (I've removed the alcohol from my house - but I can't not have an end of the workday), so instead, I'm trying to do a different *action* that gets me a similar *reward.* My reward for the end-of-day-glass-of-wine was feeling relaxed, and knowing that there was a clear marker between the "sit on your ass and write, you wordmonkey" part of the day and the "goof off time yay" part of the day. So I'm trying to replace the glass of wine with a swim or a run, which gives me endorphins (relaxation) and gets me to change clothes and leave the house (it's the end of the day). I'm also doing other things, like asking for support (LIKE HERE I AM, TELLING YOU ALL) and planning in rewards. The free app [I Am Sober](https://iamsober.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) has been helpful: it reminds you every day of the reason you want to stop, tracks how you're feeling, and even shows you how much money you've saved. Anyway, we're on day three, I've already saved £9, I went swimming yesterday with two of my favourite people in the world, and I'm feeling great. Wish me luck! *If an addictive behaviour is ruining your life, please consider getting in touch with a professional. They won't push you to stop unless you're ready, and they can offer you practical advice that can help, as well as a friendly ear. There are some [SA helplines, chatlines and counselling centres at the bottom of this article](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-to-manage-depression-like-a-grownup/), and [here are some UK resources.](https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/addiction-and-dependency/addiction-and-dependency-resources/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* ## 5\. Dream Nails The soundtrack of my life recently has been the [official playlist from the brilliant and hilarious series *We Are Lady Parts*](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37i9dQZF1DX5HLync1pXOg?si=10b56a937c084c6f&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It's introduced me to my new favourite grrrl punk band, [Dream Nails](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlAzARp9vPM&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), who describe themselves as "punk witches bringing feminist ragejoy" ❤️. ## 6\. Questions from a highschooler A young writer, still in highschool (what a champ) reached out to ask me some questions about why I started writing, what my writing schedule looks like, and how old I was when I wrote my first book. [I answered these questions here,](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/questions/) if you're interested. ## 7\. "We can fight with the mind" For NO REASON AT ALL, I found myself reading an essay Virginia Woolf wrote in 1940 during the Blitz, called ["Thoughts on Peace in an Air Raid"](https://newrepublic.com/article/113653/thoughts-peace-air-raid?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). > The Germans were over this house last night and the night before that. Here they are again. It is a queer experience, lying in the dark and listening to the zoom of a hornet which may at any moment sting you to death. It is a sound that interrupts cool and consecutive thinking about peace. Yet it is a sound—far more than prayers and anthems—that should compel one to think about peace. Unless we can think peace into existence we—not this one body in this one bed but millions of bodies yet to be born—will lie in the same darkness and hear the same death rattle overhead. She talks about the importance of fighting not only aggressive armies, but the urge to dominate inside all of us; the sneaky belief that glory comes only from domination. > We must help the young Englishmen to root out from themselves the love of medals and decorations. We must create more honorable activities for those who try to conquer in themselves their fighting instinct, their subconscious Hitlerism. We must compensate the man for the loss of his gun. My dear friend Dale bought me a Virginia Woolf button a few years ago that says "Thinking is Fighting", a quote from that essay. I've been wearing it a lot this week. ![Sam Beckbessinger and a Virgina Woolf pin saying Thinking is Fighting](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/03/image-6.png) ## 8\. To Be or Not to Be? Something lovely for your eyes: Andrew Scott [performing *that speech* from *Hamlet*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdZVR4Ry3jQ&ab%5Fchannel=AlmeidaTheatre&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). He does it so naturally that he makes some of the most famous words ever written in English feel like they're coming out of his mouth for the first time. Sidenote: if you're even slightly a theatre dork, please watch all three seasons of the 2003 Canadian show *[Slings & Arrows](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0387779/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*. The first season is structured around *Hamlet*, down to an interfering ghost. It's one of my favourite shows ever made. ## 9\. "There will be moments of revelation" How great is this description of London from Peter Ackroyd's *[London: The Biography](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/107400.London?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*: "London goes beyond any boundary or convention. It contains every wish or word ever spoken, every action or gesture ever made, every harsh or noble statement ever expressed. It is illimitable. It is infinite... London is so large and so wild that it contains no less than everything." ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/03/image-7.png) Ackroyd's book was recommended to me as the definitive beginners guide to understanding the wild, weird history of this place. I've been loving it. ## 10\. The happier and healthier email policy I really enjoyed my chat with Jen Thorpe on Monday talking about her release of her new book, *[Adulting 101](https://jen-thorpe.com/2021/12/07/adulting-101-how-to-survive-the-real-world/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*. We ended up talking a lot about burnout and boundaries. Jen discussed an idea that's had a great impact in her life, an automatic email response that says the following: > Subject: My happier and healthier email policy > Hi there. > This is an automatic email to let you know that I will be limiting the days and times that I check my email. I will be checking emails from Monday to Friday, 9am – 12 noon, South African Standard Time. I also won’t have email on my phone any longer. > If you send an email that comes after those hours, or on the weekend, please expect a delay in my response. > I appreciate your patience in advance. > Jen The [rest of my chat with Jen](https://www.facebook.com/ExclusiveBooks/videos/343656594441316) is right here. \-- ### What do you think of the new format? How's this new "10 quick things" format working for you? Would you rather have longer posts, maybe less frequently? I'd love your feedback! (Also, photos of your pets). Wishing you peace, Sam ### A peek at my work setup URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/a-peek-at-my-writing-setup/ Last updated: 2022-03-04T12:03:49.000Z NOTE: Any links to Amazon are affiliate links, which means that I get a commission if you buy anything through these links. But these are all legit the products I chose because I like them. ## My desk setup at home From left to right: - Furry writing partner (essential). - Cat lamp. I think originally from Ikea? - A card from my friend Georgina which cheers me up every time I look at it. - Reference books for whatever project I'm working on currently. The one on top is Myisha Cherry's excellent *[The Case for Rage](https://amzn.to/36VRgXP?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*. - Screen raiser (made it out of [a shelf](https://amzn.to/35ndHVH?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and some [height-adjustable furniture legs](https://amzn.to/35PpcER?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)). - The [ASUS VP280QG screen](https://amzn.to/3hC6O55?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It's good. I like it. - The [Logitech C920 HD Pro Webcam](https://amzn.to/3KhSk6I?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). This thing's brilliant and I recorded all my course videos on it. I also have a [Samson Q2U mic](https://amzn.to/3vE5B5J?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (stashed in the drawer) that I use for talks and podcasting. These two gadgets are all you need to record high-quality video and audio. I used to have a far more involved podcasting kit with a soundboard and pop filter and everything, but it's really not necessary for most home podcasters. - Liquid brown energy-sludge (I'm an extremely basic bitch so I live on Nescafe Gold Blend). - [Logitech K380 Bluetooth keyboard](https://amzn.to/3sHgDVM?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). I LOVE this thing. You can switch between three different devices at the touch of a button, so I have it connected to my Mac, iPad and phone. It's super portable and comes with me everywhere. - Many notebooks. I'm currently using this [Moleskine dupe](https://amzn.to/3CfS997?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) with a [Pilot Vball](https://amzn.to/35zjFT8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Yes, that's a scrunchie on top SHHHHH. - [A Technet Bluetooth Mouse](https://amzn.to/3hAW07t?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Not the prettiest thing, but it's reliable, cheap and comfortable. - (Hidden behind the screen) a [giant USB C hub](https://amzn.to/3Km67cJ?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for all my gizmos. - (Hidden behind the laptop) an [Anker charging dock](https://amzn.to/3CcRDZw?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) which is mega helpful when I travel. - Macbook Pro. No idea what model. It's kak old. - (In the back corner) a Buffy the Vampire Slayer card my buddy [Dale Halvorsen](https://www.dalehalvorsen.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) made for me, which reminds me to be brave and slay my demons. - [JBL over-ear headphones](https://amzn.to/3hUUjlz?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). I find these mega-comfortable. I can wear them all day. ![An on-the-go setup](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/03/image-4.png) ## On-the-go Instead of lugging my whole laptop around, I've been using this more minimal setup when I'm on the go, which all fits inside that cute little handbag. - [JBL over-ear headphones](https://amzn.to/3hUUjlz?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - Handbag is from [Dr Pachanga](https://www.drpachanga.co.za/collections/box-bags?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a gift from my beloved oldest friend Melanie. - iPad. Not sure what model. I have the iPad pencil, which is WONDERFUL if you ever do any digital drawing/sketching. - [Logitech K380 Bluetooth keyboard](https://amzn.to/3sHgDVM?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - [Moleskine dupe](https://amzn.to/3CfS997?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Pilot Vball](https://amzn.to/35zjFT8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). What are your favourite work-gadgets, friends? I'd love to hear. ### Questions from a high-school reader URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/questions/ Last updated: 2022-03-04T14:07:05.000Z A high-school reader wrote to me this week asking if I would answer some questions for an assignment he's writing (ABOUT ME! I'm so honoured). > What influenced you to write? I can't remember ever *starting* to write. It's more that I never stopped. I wrote stories as a kid, all the time (one of them was about a demon dog that zapped me into space and threw me into the sun). I tried to start a newspaper when I was eight, featuring articles of national importance like "Here Are the Names of All My Pets" and "My Neighbour's House Smells Funny, What Is It?". Writing has always been the way I've tried to make sense of the world. I write to discover what I think about something. I write because I was a lonely kid who found it easier to hang out with imaginary people than real ones. I write because I like to help. I've always written about things that scare me. That's why I started writing about money. I've seen from people in my own family how vulnerable you can be when you can't support yourself financially. In my 20s, I was terrible with money, and debt nearly ruined my life. I tell some of that story in this video. > Who was your inspiration? I've always been inspired by writers who are able to be honest and vulnerable, like Judy Blume ([Amanda Palmer has a great song about this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=%5Fk02Waw4WXk&ab%5Fchannel=AmandaPalmer&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)), John Green, Bo Burnham and Sylvia Plath. More than anyone else, I wrote *Manage Your Money* for younger me. It was the book I needed to read when I was 22. > When did you first realise you wanted to be a writer? I always wanted to be a writer, but for a long time I assumed it wasn't possible for people like me who didn't come from rich families. I tried being a lot of other things first before I finally figured out how to pay my bills with writing. But I think we worry too much about nouns, when we think about careers. I'm still not 100% certain I'm a capital-W **Writer**, the noun. But writing, the verb, is something that anyone can do, any time. Nobody can stop you from doing it. I wrote a long time, for free, because it is something I love doing. You don't have to be a Writer to write. > What is your work schedule like when you're writing? I'm the most boring person you've ever met when it comes to writing. I don't believe in inspiration; I believe in discipline and routines. I'm so organised that it borders on pathological (no kidding, my psychologist once told me I need to spend less time writing lists). So, it's very important to me that I start and end work at the same time each day. I'm a morning person and useless in the afternoons, so I always try to give the best hours of my day to writing. I have a word-target every day for the main project I'm working on (usually 2,000 words when I'm doing a first draft, higher if I'm revising). I don't let myself start doing admin or farting around on the Internet doing "research" until I've hit that word-target. When I had a full-time job, I got up at 5:30 and I'd write until 8:00 before going to work. Now that I write full time, I do everything I can do to treat it like a job, so I work Monday to Friday. I usually get up around 6:00, make a cup of coffee, and do an exercise Julia Cameron made famous: [Morning Pages](https://juliacameronlive.com/basic-tools/morning-pages/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Then I faff around a bit, but I make sure that I'm at my desk and writing properly by 8am. I write until lunch-time, take a break, then get back to work until around 4-5pm. I usually hit my word target by noon, but on bad days it can take me until 2 or 3pm. Once I've hit my word target for the day, I do other work like prepare and deliver talks, research, write blog posts, do interviews, have meetings, and do admin. It turns out that a lot of the job of being a writer isn't writing. > When did you write your first book and how old were you? The first novel I remember writing was about a unicorn who rescued four orphaned kids and took them to a magical place in the sky. It was extremely derivative C.S. Lewis stuff, but give me a break, I was seven! My first published book was called *Hippo Wants to Dance*, a children's book about feeling like you're too loud and you take up too much space. I was 29\. I was 30 when I wrote *Manage Your Money Like a F-cking Grownup.* It seemed like a good way to summarise a lot of the hard-earned lessons of my 20s. > What is something you would say to help a developing author? Read. Read everything. Read all the time. Reading is inhaling, writing is exhaling. It's the details that make something feel real. Try to be honest. It's not easy. ### A cut-up poem for Ukraine URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/a-cut-up-poem-for-ukraine/ Last updated: 2022-02-28T08:56:57.000Z A small poem made from words cut out from the Saturday 26 February edition of *The Guardian.* ## 26 February 2022 It took us six hours to pack a rucksack: junk food, an iPhone 12, a warm jumper, earplugs, spoons, a makeshift weapon. I saw this year's director of happiness they smiled back. "I am aware of all these scenarios. Get a lot of sunshine. Be happy. This is happening to other people." I tried to call my friend Then I heard a sound a terrible tremor I saw many children; and I just hope they will not die ### "I don't finish scripts, they get confiscated" URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/i-dont-finish-scripts/ Last updated: 2022-02-26T10:36:54.000Z Hello loves! I'm trying a new thing today. Instead of one longer post followed by bullet-updates, here are ten quick things I wanted to share with you this week. ## 1\. A beginner's guide to online gaming In my post about the [Metaverse](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/decorating-virtual-spaces/), I mentioned that one of my favourite ways to hang out with friends and family in different countries is by playing video games together, specifically, adorable-creepy survival game *[Don't Starve Together](https://store.steampowered.com/app/322330/Dont%5FStarve%5FTogether/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com).* A reader got in touch to ask how to actually get started playing video games online, so I [wrote an absolute beginner's guide here](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/a-simple-guide-to-getting-your-family-gaming/), with game suggestions to suit family members of all ages. ## 2\. Ukraine Fuck Putin. Some things I've found useful to try to understand some of the context of what's going on in Ukraine: ["It's not about Ukraine. It's about Putin."](https://www.stitcher.com/show/voxs-the-weeds/episode/its-not-about-ukraine-its-about-putin-90220957?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) a podcast interview on *The Weeds,* unpacked a lot of the history about how we got here. Mark Galeotti also had a great piece in the *Telegraph* (sadly paywalled) unpicking what might be going on in Putin's mind: ["Is Vladimir Putin mad, brilliant, or somewhere in between?"](https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2022/02/23/putin-mad-brilliant-somewhere/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), saying, "He is a remnant of the last true Soviet generation, unable to come to terms with the end of his old world, unwilling to understand the new." And I wanted to share this heartbreaking poem by Ilya Kaminsky, who fled the former Soviet Union city of Odessa (now Ukraine) in 1993: ["We Lived Happily During the War."](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/91413/we-lived-happily-during-the-war?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## 3\. Murder mysteries I've been on a bit of a murder-mystery bender recently. The new Apple TV show [*The Afterparty*](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt12614214/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)is an absolute hoot (premise: someone is murdered at the afterparty of a high school reunion, Tiffany Haddish has to work out whodunnit). If you're also watching, email me your theories! I think it's Yasper but hoping it's one of the Jennifers. Then I finally read Agatha Christie's classic [*And Then There Were None*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/16299.And%5FThen%5FThere%5FWere%5FNone?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)(premise: ten people find themselves on a private island, they're killed off one by one, the survivors have to figure out whodunnit before they're killed next). It's enormous fun, and spawned a lot of contemporary murder-mystery tropes. Just a warning that some passages are racist even by 1939 standards. ## 4\. British Library My favourite London thing I've been doing is hanging out at the [British Library](https://www.bl.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which contains over 14-million books and is basically Nerd Mecca. I've been finding some delicious things in the archives of the South African *Sunday Times*. Like, did you know that there was a proposed bill in 1969 to ban miniskirts? Look at these SCANDALOUS BARE LEGS! Think of the children! ![Screenshot of the Sunday Times. Headline, "Rand bachelor MPC seeks mini-skirt ban"](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/02/image-5.png) ## 5\. London plays Yeah so if I run out of money living in London it will be definitely because I've spent it all on theatre shows. The Joel Horwood adaptation of Neil Gaiman's *[The Ocean at the End of the Lane](https://www.nationaltheatre.org.uk/shows/the-ocean-at-the-end-of-the-lane-at-duke-of-yorks?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* has some of the best stage design and lighting I've seen and it's still running until May. Tickets are sold out, though, to Martin Crimp's thoroughly modern adaption of the 200-year-old French play *Cyrano de Bergerac.* It's a masterful riff on the power of poetry, the acting is brilliant and the staging is minimal and inspired. But also, honestly, James McAvoy seducing a woman through poetry is just the goddam hottest thing I've ever seen on stage*.* There was not a dry seat in the house. Yes, I said seat. ## 6\. Screenwriting wisdom from Aaron Sorkin I got to see [Aaron Sorkin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aaron%5FSorkin?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) discuss his new film, *[Being the Ricardos](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4995540/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, a biopic about the making of *I Love Lucy.* Amongst many interesting things he said (he talks with the same dizzying high-speed brilliance as his characters), was that when writing a fictional story inspired by real history, **truth is more important than accuracy**. He gives an example from the script of *The Social Network*: there's a scene after Mark Zuckerberg's been dumped by his girlfriend, where he goes back to his dorm room, gets drunk, and builds Facemash, a programme that lets users rank the hotness of different students (vom). This really happened, and Zuck live-blogged the whole thing, so there's an accurate minute-by-minute historical record. In the script, Aaron wanted to convey, "he was drinking to get drunk", and had him pour four fingers of vodka into a glass. But the director dug up the live-blog which showed that he was actually drinking beer. Sorkin defended his version because it conveyed something **true**, if not strictly accurate. In this case, David Fincher got his way ([as you can see from the final scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdtPNRzuKrk&ab%5Fchannel=Weyland&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)). Sorkin says, "I don't finish scripts, they get confiscated." ## 7\. Adulting 101 I'm chatting to Jen Thorpe on Monday at 6pm South African time on Zoom about her brilliant new book *Adulting 101: How to Survive in the Real World*. It's the book I wish I'd received as a gift for my 21st birthday, including everything from "here's what to say to a friend who's parent has just died" to "here's how often to get screened for STIs" to "this is what taxes are". [Register here.](https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN%5FWQxdUsw6S9mjJ2XAiqlo3g?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ![Jen Thorpe Adulting 101](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/02/image-3.png) ## 8\. All the freebies in one place I've created a new page on the website that gathers up all the various freebies, downloads and guides that are available to email subscribers. There's also a new short story up there about the horrors of cooking, called "Blinding Birds". Enjoy! [FreebiesA roundup of the most useful downloads, guides and resources on the site. Enjoy!![](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/favicon.png)Sam BeckbessingerSam Beckbessinger![](https://sambeckbessinger.ghost.io/content/images/2020/05/Twitter-3.png)](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/freebies-2/) ## 9\. Obsidian The app that has become most essential to my work is note-taking tool [Obsidian](https://obsidian.md/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). If you're any kind of knowledge-worker, I can't recommend it enough. It allows you to build up a graph of all of your research and connect ideas to each other. Use it for long enough, and it essentially builds a map of your brain. Mine is a mess, obviously. ![Obsidian Sam Beckbessinger's brain](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/02/image-8.png) A map of all the stuff I've been thinking about in the past few months ## 10\. Caitlin Moran I appreciated the epigraphs in Caitlin Moran's *[More Than a Woman](https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/49397893-more-than-a-woman?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*. ![caitlin moran more than a woman epigraphs](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/02/image-7.png) Wishing you scandalous miniskirts, Sam ### A simple guide to getting your family playing online games together URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/a-simple-guide-to-getting-your-family-gaming/ Last updated: 2022-02-26T09:57:03.000Z In my post about the [Metaverse](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/decorating-virtual-spaces/), I mentioned that one of my favourite ways to hang out with friends and family in different countries is by playing video games together, specifically, adorable-creepy survival game *[Don't Starve Together](https://store.steampowered.com/app/322330/Dont%5FStarve%5FTogether/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com).* A reader sent me a very cute response: > Sam. WTF is ‘’don’t starve together’’ and how can I play it with my far-flung family? You can’t suck up to Gen Z with pictures of old computers and then abandon the older generation to the icy wilderness of gaming. Where/what/how ????? I’m reporting you to the Human Rights Commission for ageism. UNLESS you tell me all I need to know (Google and Wikapedia only increased my bafflement so don’t even try). So in the interest of avoiding being reported to the Ageism Police, here's how to get started playing video games online, for absolute beginners! ## The basics Typically, you need three things to be able to play video games together with people who aren't in the same place as you: 1. **An internet-connected device to play games on.** There are good game options for smartphones, tablets, or computers. There's no need to buy a gaming console (like a Playstation or Nintendo Switch) right away, until you know for sure that you'll be playing games regularly. You do need a pretty good internet connection, though. 2. **The game you're going to play.** Every player will usually need to download and install their own copy of the game. Luckily, many of my suggestions here are free. 3. **A way to chat while you play.** You don't really need video because you'll be looking at the game, not each other, so just call the person you're playing with in whatever way you usually do (Google Hangouts, Zoom, a Whatsapp call on speakerphone, [Discord](https://discord.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), whatever you like). ## Some great beginner games for phones and tablets - **Mario Kart Tour**. It's a racing game that you can download for [Apple](https://apps.apple.com/us/app/mario-kart-tour/id1293634699?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Android](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.nintendo.zaka&hl=en%5FGB&gl=US&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) phones, and you can play with your family on the other side of the world. - The classic **Uno**, available for both [Android](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.matteljv.uno&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or [Apple](https://apps.apple.com/app/id1344700142?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) mobile phones. - **Boggle** on [Apple](https://apps.apple.com/us/app/boggle-with-friends-word-game/id1197041040?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or [Android](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.zynga.boggle&hl=en%5FUS&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - [**Terraria**](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.and.games505.TerrariaPaid&hl=en%5FGB&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), this one's a bit like Minecraft where you build and explore a world, but it's a bit easier to learn. It's available [for a lot of platforms](https://terraria.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), including phones and tablets. ## Some great beginner games for your computer or laptop If you have a laptop and want to try a slightly more involved game, the best thing to do is sign up for an account on [Steam](https://store.steampowered.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Steam is an online shop that sells computer games that you download directly. It sells all sorts of games for all sorts of budgets, including many easy-to-learn games for beginners. *Don't Starve Together* is my favourite. It's a computer game where you and your friends are try to survive in a hostile wilderness where everything's trying to kill you, i.e. it's basically like driving through Springs. To play, you each need to buy a copy of the game [from Steam.](https://store.steampowered.com/app/322330/Dont%5FStarve%5FTogether/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) It's a bit of a hassle to set up the first time, but it's SUCH good fun when you get into it. **You could also try:** - [Among Us](https://store.steampowered.com/app/945360/Among%5FUs/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a bit like the old kids' game "Murder in the Dark" or "Werewolf", but in a spaceship. - [Minecraft](https://www.minecraft.net/en-us?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), like an infinite Lego world where you can create anything you can imagine. You don't need a Steam account for this one. - [Rocket League](https://www.epicgames.com/store/en-US/p/rocket-league?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), like soccer, but with cars? Instead of Steam, this is on a different online games store called Epic Games. Very fun. - [Stardew Valley](https://store.steampowered.com/app/413150/Stardew%5FValley/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a peaceful game where you build a virtual farm. ## Or, try a quiz! Another really fun way to hang out with your far-flung family is by joining an online pub quiz. My buddy [Jon Keevy hosts one every Wednesday](https://jonkeevy.com/2020/03/31/keep-your-quiztance/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) at 7pm SAST and it's one of the highlights of my week. I hope that helps! I LOVE playing games online with my family. It's such a great way to connect. xx Sam *Have you found a great beginner-friendly game that lets you stay in touch with friends and family on the other side of the world? I'd love to hear about it!* ### Beloved stuffed pigs, virtual decor and the Metaverse URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/decorating-virtual-spaces/ Last updated: 2022-02-04T13:43:35.000Z Hello grownups! Have you played [Unpacking](https://www.unpackinggame.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) yet? It's a lovely little zen puzzle game where you follow an unnamed character over the course of eight house moves, and help her to unpack her boxes. I thought I'd hate it, just because it feels too much like my real life right now. I've had five homes in the past three years, and I am *tired* of moving. My partner and I have it down to a well-polished dance now: wrapping, boxing, labelling, inventorying, discarding. It's fascinating to see what you keep, what becomes more and more essential just from each successive act of having been boxed, unboxed, chosen. But that's precisely what makes the game so extraordinary: from the simple premise of unpacking boxes, a rich story starts emerging, told by the objects themselves. The stuffed pig she keeps into adulthood; the framed photo that she doesn't. In one of the levels, the character moves in with a boyfriend who has made no space for her stuff. Our boy hasn't even cleared a drawer. You end up having to store some of her most beloved items under the bed, stash her books in piles in a corner of the room. It's heartbreaking. (I took my petty revenge by having her display her tampon boxes as prominently as possible, because you can just tell that he's the type of dude who'd be bothered by that. TAKE THAT, FITNESS BOY.) I'm not going to tell you more about it except to say that this simple little game managed to make me tear up twice (once in a sad way, once in a happy way), and I loved it. I did not expect to feel so emotional about decorating digital rooms. --- The first computer my family ever owned was a Packard Bell sporting Windows 95, cream CRT monitor the size of a boulder, the most sophisticated technological marvel my nine-year-old eyes had ever seen. It came pre-installed with this shell for the operating system called [Navigator](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqZpvOPI%5FaI&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which was designed to help people who'd never used a computer before to figure out what the heck was going on. Navigator was a virtual house with different rooms in it, with the apps presented as friendly "real-world" stand-ins. If you wanted to play music, you clicked on the hifi in the living room. You'd find a word processing tool in the office. If you wanted to access the computer's clock settings, you'd click the clock on the wall. If you were looking for the user manual for the printer, or an electronic cook book, or the *Encarta Encyclopedia*, you'd look for them on the pixellated bookshelf.\* I swear, this seemed incredibly cool at the time. ![A screenshot from Navigator, showing a virtual living room](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/02/image-2.png) This is how you operated your computer in 1996, gen-Zs There was a kids room, where you could drag icons for your favourite games onto digital bookshelves for easy access. You could also - and this was by far the coolest feature - change the decor of this room. My brother decorated his like a spaceship; I was all about the jungle theme. Incredible, how strong this desire is to personalise, to claim as your own, to leave your stamp on a space, even if that space is a fake room that you see for 30 seconds before launching *[Rodent's Revenge](https://classicreload.com/win3x-rodents-revenge.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*. The [tenth most popular video game in history](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List%5Fof%5Fbest-selling%5Fvideo%5Fgame%5Ffranchises?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is *[the Sims](https://www.ea.com/games/the-sims?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, a game that is almost entirely about decorating houses (and torturing virtual people by trapping them in a 3x3 room and watching them go mad ... what? Just me?). It has sold an estimated 200-million copies since *Sims 1* launched in 2000\. Eighth on that list is *[Minecraft](https://www.minecraft.net/en-us?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, another game about creating virtual spaces. And while some of us spent the endless months of the 2020-2021 lockdowns frantically redecorating our real houses, [37-million people](https://www.nintendolife.com/news/2022/02/animal-crossing-new-horizons-is-japans-best-selling-video-game-ever?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) were decorating their bright island homes in *Animal Crossing: New Horizons.* What are we doing when we spend countless hours designing digital rooms? Are we looking for control that we don't have in the real-world? More space than our failed housing policies afford us in our real homes? Is it a way of simply fantasising about our lives? After all, longing for a guest room isn't really about the room, it's longing for guests who could stay there. Often, I think virtual spaces reflect our simplest longings: connection, stability, family, safety. I find it funny, now, how normcore my teenage *Sims* homes were, stately mansions with carefully co-ordinated colour schemes in various shades of beige (some deep-seated longing for stability and respectability, maybe?), while my brother, who has a brilliant neurodivergent brain, would build these imaginative strange labyrinths entirely decorated in bathroom tiles. How odd that many of us have been playing these games over the past couple of difficult years, sitting in our lonely homes, decorating these private interior rooms, because we were longing to be outside, longing to be with other people. --- In October last year, anti-democracy activists Facebook declared in [an endlessly mockable video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uvufun6xer8&ab%5Fchannel=Meta&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) that they're rebranding themselves as Meta, and refocusing their business strategy from helping your uncle to spread vaccine-microchip conspiracy theories to building the "Metaverse", which is a vaguely-defined all-encompassing virtual reality platform. Their vision is to create a shared social space in virtual reality, where you can put on your Oculus headset and "go to the office" with 3D avatars of your coworkers, hang out with your friends (presumably while watching ads), and - of course - decorate your virtual house. There's big money going into this, with the company [estimated to have spent](https://www.marketwatch.com/story/how-will-the-metaverse-affect-your-business-5-things-to-know-11643397146?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#:~:text=Meta%20is%20putting%20a%20lot,during%20a%20Q3%20earnings%20call.) $10-billion on Metaverse projects in 2021 alone. To put that into context, if you spent $10,000 (R150,000-ish) **every single hour**, it would take you **114 years** to spend $10-billion. The Metaverse is currently better funded than the [Green Climate Fund](https://www.greenclimate.fund/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), the main financial vehicle designed to support developing countries in responding to the challenges of the climate emergency. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/02/Pasted-image-20220203155600.png) Ah yes, the future we all dreamed of, where you can discuss flow-charts with the top halves of your coworkers around a badly designed conference table /s The term "Metaverse" was coined by Neal Stephenson in his brilliant 1992 cyberpunk novel [*Snow Crash*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40651883-snow-crash?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), where the protagonist Hiro Protagonist escapes his miserable real life as a pizza delivery guy for the Mafia by playing a warrior prince in a virtual reality playground. In the future Stephenson imagines, Los Angeles is entirely controlled by corporations, hyperinflation has decimated the economy, and the only safe places that remain are gated housing developments for the rich policed by private security companies. People spend time in the Metaverse mostly because real life is so awful. The novel birthed an entire subgenre of "virtual reality as an escape from a dystopian reality" stories from *[Ready Player One](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9969571-ready-player-one?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=cWBgkuW8Fg&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* to *[The Matrix](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0133093/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, to the real-world examples of [farmers putting VR headsets on dairy cows](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-50571010?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to help them forget the horror of their situation, and increase milk yield. Zuckerberg seems to have missed the dystopian roots of the Metaverse, or chosen to overlook them. But sure, okay, I guess some form of the Metaverse is probably inevitable now. Remote work is here to stay, at least partly. We do need to build better tools for hybrid workplaces to free us from the unspeakable suffering that is the group Zoom call (the best thing my colleagues and I found was having meetings while playing *[Don't Starve Together](https://store.steampowered.com/app/322330/Dont%5FStarve%5FTogether/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*). And VR can be surprisingly immersive if done well. So sure, I can see a need for a VR office space, and I can see the appeal of VR hangouts with your friends. I'm mostly just skeptical of that space being designed for us by the company who designed Facebook, or any of the tech monopolists for that matter. As Brian Merchant put it in [Vice](https://www.vice.com/en/article/v7eqbb/the-metaverse-has-always-been-a-dystopia?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), "The metaverse as Zuckerberg describes it—a shared 3D space where we live and work and view advertising in an embodied internet—would be an actual nightmare if it were to be designed, built, or administered by Facebook, perhaps the most notoriously drab, misinformation-littered, and aesthetically unappealing environment on the web." We all live in the Internet now. So what would it look like if we insisted on claiming some of the Internet as public space? It seems impossible, but we've done it before with other technologies. We now have public railways and public sewerage systems and public road networks. The BBC is one of the best television and radio networks in the world, and it's a publicly-owned national asset (one that the Tories are diligently trying to hollow out, along with all of the UK's other national assets, like the NHS, *thanks* okes). What would a Metaverse look like with the equivalent of public parks? With laws and representative democracy? --- The Internet was a lifeline in these past two years, but it's not life. Over the past few weeks, I've found myself finally retreating from my virtual spaces. Leaving my WhatsApp groups. Cancelling Zoom dates and instead tentatively booking tickets to go visit my friends, and stay in their real-life guest bedrooms. I know this is a privilege that not everyone has: my mum, who lives with a disability that makes it difficult for her to leave her house, is already missing how online everyone else was last year. But I'm beyond ready to get back into the meatspace. I went walking around Epping Forest last weekend. After a few hours of straying further from the paths, I found myself in a copse of trees, trunks stretching flaky-white into the January sky. Birch and Japanese Maples, immigrants like me, thriving here. The ground was a carpet of golden leaves crunching beneath my feet. I spotted a flash of grey fur through the trees and got a huge fright (I'm working on a novel about werewolves, forgive me, I have wolves on the brain). I leapt back, and disturbed a herd of twenty fallow deer, who ran ballerina-lightly right at me before vanishing into the brush. The air smelled of cloves and loam. There was not a virtual whiteboard in sight. ![Sam standing in Epping Forest wearing a beanie](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/02/image.png) Wishing you time in the great outdoors, Sam --- \*The technical term for this is skeuomorphism, where a bit of software is designed to look like a real-world counterpart. Like how the "trash" icon on your computer looks like a rubbish bin with crumpled up paper inside. Or - funnily - how the call button looks like a landline receiver, or the save icon looks like a stiffy disk, objects that most mobile phone users today have never actually seen. --- ## Updates from Sam-land - You know how I like to give each [season](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/crafting-your-own-apprenticeship/) a [theme](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-winter-of-weird/)? Well, this is the last month of my Winter of Courage. It's also February, traditionally the month of luuurve, so I've been reading bell hooks' *[All About Love: New Visions](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17607.All%5FAbout%5FLove?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*. It features some of the wisest things I've ever read about how essential **honesty** is in a relationship, even when it's bloody uncomfortable, and takes a lot of courage. As she says, "lies may help people feel better, but they do not help them know love." - My buddy Zane started a poetry club where we send each other a poem on a postcard every month. This month's theme was to write a haiku inspired by the word "sillage" (the smell a perfume leaves in the air after someone leaves a room). [This was my contribution.](https://www.instagram.com/p/CZjQJShKs5u/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) xx ### Pondering Adrian Tchaikovsky's Children of Time URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/children-of-time/ Last updated: 2022-01-20T18:18:16.000Z > That is the problem with ignorance. You can never truly know the extent of what you are ignorant about. - Adrian Tchaikovsky Hey kid, psst, come here. Wanna read a book about matriarchal space-spiders? No wait, come back! It's not a horror book, I promise! I have some THOUGHTS about Adrian Tchaikovsky's *[Children of Time](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25499718-children-of-time?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*. I'll try to keep it mostly unspoilery in case you haven't read it, but you should go read it, it's great. After the earth becomes uninhabitable (something-something-climate-change-something-something-wars, you get it), the last hope of the human race is to send out spaceships in the hope of restarting civilization on a far distant planet. One of these "arks", the Gilgamesh, comes across the perfect planet, terraformed by a scientist long ago into a lush jungle world. There's just one problem: it's already occupied. By giant intelligent spiders. HELLO NIGHTMARE PLANET, you might be thinking. But the trick the book pulls on you is to make the spiders deeply sympathetic. More sympathetic than the humans, most of the time. Which is a hell of a feat. See, I struggle with spiders in real life. Yes yes, I know that they're fascinating and mostly harmless and miracles of evolution or whatever, but I'm sorry, I am not able to be magnanimous about sharing my home with something that has more limbs than me. Moving to the UK has been a problem since it is basically Spider Island, and I spend every August carefully checking every item of clothing before I put it on thanks to a very traumatic spider-in-my-pants incident the first year I moved here (August, if you didn't know, is Spider Season in the UK, and JFC why do I live in a country that has a Spider Season???). David Sedaris wrote an essay in 2008 called ["April & Paris"](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2008/03/24/april-paris?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about how he is immune to the cuteness of dogs and cats but once fell so deeply in love with a Tegenaria spider in Normandy that he named her April, relocated her to his flat in Paris, realised there weren't enough flies for her in the city, and started hunting insects for her every evening. It almost, *almost* helped me imagine what it might be like to be charmed by a spider. > There have been other *Tegenaria* since then, a new population every summer, and though I still feed them and monitor their comings and goings, it’s with a growing but not unpleasant distance, an understanding that spiders, unlike mammals, do only what they’re supposed to do. Whatever drives the likes of April is private and severe, and my attempts to humanize it only moved me further from its majesty. Tchaikovsky's brilliant trick, with his spider protagonists, is that he manages to keep them **thoroughly alien** and yet still sympathetic. And I've been pondering how he pulls that off, because it's pretty remarkable. The novel follows the spiders over many, many generations of their evolution. He uses the same names in each chapter (Portia, Fabian, and Bianca), but you're really following descendants of a long family tree. Tchaikovsky's extrapolations of how spider intelligence and spider culture might evolve are satisfyingly logical; even once they've discovered advanced technology like computing engines (which take the form of ant colonies instructed through pheromones), males remain an oppressed underclass who run the risk of being eaten after mating. The world-building feels well-researched and inspired. But plausible world-building doesn't make you give a shit about a character in a book. So what does? In stories, we often think about character as being "who someone is". How they're likely to behave in any given circumstance. Personality, for want of a better word. Like in an *Avengers* story, we know that Iron Man's gonna deal with a baddie by building some gadgets and cracking some wisecracks, Black Widow's gonna pull off an elaborate spy caper then kick them in the face, Hulk's gonna pound some stuff, Hawkeyes gonna... whatever the hell Hawkeye does, I've never been clear. In story, we like our characters to be fairly predictable, or we feel like we don't know who they are. But predictability isn't why we root for people in stories. Neither is likability, by the way. After all, we root for Tony Soprano and Annalise Keating and Walter White and Villanelle despite the fact that they're pretty horrific people. No, we root for characters in stories because they **want** something we find relatable. In musicals, my favourite guilty pleasure, this is usually declared in the first act by a character singing an "I want" song. They're easy to hear in Disney movies: Ariel singing about how she "wants to be where the people are" in *The Little Mermaid*, Hercules wanting to "go the distance", Anna desperately wanting to "build a snowman" (not be alone) in *Frozen*, or Mirabel "longing to shine" in *Encanto*. So, here's my theory: the reason that we have more sympathy for the spiders in *Children of Time* than the humans is that they have more interesting **wants**. They're a species driven by curiosity, both because of their spider instinct and the nanovirus directing their evolution. They want to understand their universe, they want to discover new technology so they can understand their god better, they crave progress, they want to understand their place in the universe. Those are clear, compelling motivations. Our points of view in their world are leaders, revolutionaries, astronauts, scientists. Amongst the humans, our main point of view is a classicist named Holsten. It's an *interesting* perspective, because he functions as a reminder that progress isn't always guaranteed. In the future the novel imagines, people in the past were much more technologically advanced than they are in the present, and most of the technology they used to build their arks is based on partially-understood reconstructed know-how from an earlier golden age, painstakingly deciphered by people like Holsten. This is entirely plausible, of course. There's a great episode of *[Dan Carlin's Hardcore History](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/37804080-thor-s-angels?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* about what it was like for Medieval Europeans to live in the ruins of a dead civilisation (Rome) that was more advanced than their current one. They lived in the ruins of aqueducts, but had lost the knowledge of how to make them work. Sometimes progress falters and technology is lost because of political and social instability. It's happened before in human history. It will almost certainly happen again. So in the story, Holsten one of the last humans alive and you feel like he *should* be driven by a clear and desperate want: to survive. But Holsten's pretty ambivalent about humanity, all-to-aware of all the ways we've messed up before. He is an expert on the past, and preservation is never going to be as interesting a motive as progress. And that, I think, is why we come out as Team Spider. We root for characters because we can relate to what they **want**. Anyway, that's been interesting for me to think about as a storyteller. But I think it's an interesting point for everybody, because we're *all* storytellers. We tell stories all the time, especially to ourselves, especially about ourselves. All of us are weaving our own narrative about our lives, and who we are, and the battles we're fighting. So what's the story you're telling yourself about yourself? What's the most desperate **want** that's driving you? And are you rooting for yourself? Wishing you plenty of delicious juicy flies to catch in your magnificent webs, Sam \-- ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2022/01/image.png) This is how I spend my life now, sitting on the Tube, wrapped in my biggest coat, grinning a huge grin (you can't see it but I promise it's under there) ## Updates from Sam-land Well hey, I'm a Londoner now! The move went fine, we love our new neighbourhood, I've seen four foxes, and Digby has already been terrorised by several of the local pigeons. London is wonderful and I am so grateful to be here, finally. - I felt so honoured to be mentioned in Wole Talabi's roundup of [favourite African Science Fiction and Fantasy Short Fiction of 2021](https://wtalabi.wordpress.com/2022/01/19/my-favorite-african-science-fiction-and-fantasy-short-fiction-of-2021/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). His other mentions are all brilliant. I specifically loved Pemi Aguda's "Masquerade Season". - Please drop whatever else you've got planned and watch *[Seal Team](https://www.netflix.com/title/81354554?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* on Netflix, featuring some of the best tv writers, animators and voice-artists working in South Africa right now, and also the singer Seal playing a seal named Seal Seal. Honestly, it's a delight. xx ### Sale! Questions! Postcards! URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/sale-questions-postcards/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:39:54.000Z Hello, grownups! Nope, it's not December. I refuse to believe it, sorry. It can't possibly be any later than September. #fakenews. Instead of sending you a long missive, here's a last roundup of some recent things going on in Samland. ![a copy of Manage Your Money by Sam Beckbessinger and stickers](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/12/merch.jpeg) The Family Pack combo ## 30% sale on books & merch **I'm [running an epic 30% sale on all books, stickers and merch](https://shop.sambeckbessinger.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** until 1 January. Just enter the coupon **hello2022** at checkout. Orders must be in by **15 December** if you want them delivered before xmas (in South Africa), but money books also make excellent back-to-school/uni gifts, just saying. Enjoy! And as an even better offer, if you are in the **UK** and would like a copy of the **South African** version of *Manage Your Money Like a Grownup* (the teen version) or *Manage Your Money Like a F-cking Grownup* (the adult version), you can have one for free, just paying for postage. Just hit reply to this email with your details. I am on a quest to clear out cupboard space! Both offers are only valid while stocks last, so hop to it. ## Answering some reader questions I've got individual posts up answering three recent questions from readers. ### 1\. How do I build up a credit score without going into debt? *I'm 21\. I’ve always been pretty financially savvy, even as a kid \[Editor's note: you ARE STILL A KID, sweet pea\]. I’ve always saved my money and bought things cash…. and that is where my problem comes in. As I’ve always bought everything in cash I have no credit record and because I have no credit record, no one will give me credit. I have now got myself a credit card to use and pay off to try and start building a credit record but am finding this whole situation so frustrating. How is it that someone with no debt can’t get credit, but people with debt can easily get more credit?* *What would you recommend I do to try and build up my credit record?* [I wrote a full answer to this question here](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-do-i-establish-a-credit-score/), including different strategies for establishing a credit record depending on whether you are A. a normal human person or B. someone like me who has the impulse control of a squirrel on cocaine. ### 2\. Should I pay off my homeloan or invest? I quite often get emailed by people who have suddenly come across a pile of cash (from mugging leprechauns, I presume) who want to know **whether it makes more sense for them to pay off their home loans, or invest in the stock market**. [Here's my answer.](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/should-i-pay-off-my-home-loan-or-invest/) ### 3\. How do I get a book published in South Africa? A Cape Town reader wrote a whole manuscript (what a CHAMP) and asked for some advice about getting it published. [I've written a short post about that here. ](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-do-i-get-a-book-published-in-south-africa/) ## Thank you postcards for members Every year, it is my great pleasure to write all of the paid members (and early supporters) a thank-you postcard. This year's cards are winging their way over to members right now, featuring the cutest snoozy-leopard artwork by Annika Brandow from our [Survive the Century](https://survivethecentury.net/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) story. I hope you get to be this leopard over the next few weeks, taking some epic holiday naps. Look out for them in your postboxes! ## 2022 money talks I'm offering a limited number of talks at workplaces at the start of next year about how to turn your finances around in 2022\. I only have a few slots left, so reach out if you want to book a talk for your business. [Here's my ratecard.](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/talks/) ## Random nonsense - I [wrote some really weird poems](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/google-translate-telephone/) by playing "broken telephone" with Google Translate. - An academic paper about the process behind our interactive story [Survive the Century](https://survivethecentury.net/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) has just been published in *Ecology and Society*, if you're curious about what happens when you put a bunch of sci-fi writers and actual scientists in a room and ask them to imagine the future together. Read the paper here: *[From fAIrplay to climate wars: making climate change scenarios more dynamic, creative and integrative.](https://www.ecologyandsociety.org/vol26/iss4/art30/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* - Dale Halvorsen and I have inked a publishing deal for our novel *Magpies* (which has a new title, damn you Elizabeth Day). We're obviously thrilled beyond words about this but trying to pretend that we're super chill, *like* *whatever*. I'll tell you all the details next year, hopefully with a sneak-peak of the cover! - In the meantime, I've started a new solo novel (the working title is *Catfight*) and right now it suuuucks because I'm at that stage where I don't actually know what the book is yet and if there's even a single redeeming nugget in the idea. Nevertheless, we persevere! - I am moving to Walthamstow at the start of January, eeeee! Hit me up if you've got any recommendations for fun things to do around there. Anyway, thank you all for making 2021 a pretty damn wonderful year for me, all things considered. I am wishing you mince pies, cosiness, time with the people you care about, and epic holiday snoozes. xx Sam ### Should I pay off my home loan or invest? URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/should-i-pay-off-my-home-loan-or-invest/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T10:08:13.000Z Hello grownups! I quite often get emailed by people who have suddenly come across a pile of cash (from mugging leprechauns, I presume) who want to know **whether it makes more sense for them to pay off their home loans, or invest in the stock market**. [I answered a version of this question previously](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-old-chesterton-allotment-society/), but to reiterate my thoughts on this: Short answer: It depends. Medium answer: Of course, when you’re talking about investing, you can only make guesses based on averages. On average, over the long term, you are likely to make more money investing in equities than you will save money paying off your home loan faster. Purely financially, **it usually makes more sense to invest in equities (something like a diversified ETF) rather than accelerating your home loan payments**. That's simply because the average long-term returns from equities is higher than the average interest rates (cost) of home loans. A home is an undiversified investment, and an ETF is a diversified investment. So, you also reduce your overall investment risk by investing in shares alongside paying off your home faster. But, investing might not be right for you if: - You're nearing retirement and don't want the stress of having to manage home loan payments every month. - Emotionally, you just really value not having debt, in which case, that emotional reason might trump the finances for you. - You have no wiggle room in your budget and if interest rates on your home loan increased you’d be in trouble. - You have no tolerance for the wobbliness of equities. Note that this only compares two options: investing in a well-diversified ETF or paying off your home loan, but the best thing for you to do with a windfall might be something else, like paying off high-interest debt if you have any, or starting an emergency fund, or buying an entire shipping container filled with Skittles. Long answer: It depends! No, really. The answer to this question really does depend on your own situation, goals, your tax life, the terms of your home loan, and overall financial portfolio. You should take all of these elements into account when trying to make this decision, and [talk to a financial advisor](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-to-find-a-financial-adviser-who-doesnt-suck/) if you need help. That said, don’t get paralysed trying to predict the future and work out what the ideal strategy is. It’s better to do EITHER of those things than to do neither of them. If you’ve thought it through for a bit and you’re still confused, just split the difference, or do the one that will make you feel happier and more secure, because those are also important variables to optimise for! xx Sam ### How do I get a book published in South Africa? URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-do-i-get-a-book-published-in-south-africa/ Last updated: 2021-12-14T15:01:18.000Z A question from a reader: > I have this idea of publishing a book that I've written and have no cooking clue where to start and who to speak too. My copy of your book is one of my most treasured possessions-true and not saying this to butter you up. I wanted your guidance on what to do next and who to speak to to get it published. I'm based in Cape Town and am prepared to drag my bundle of papers with a thousand post its wherever it needs to go. Hi reader! Huge congrats on writing a whole manuscript. I know exactly how hard it is, and I hope you're very damn proud of yourself. How to get it published depends on what kind of book you've written. ## Getting your fiction published If it's **fiction**, then the subreddit [r/PubTips](https://www.reddit.com/r/PubTips/wiki/resources?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) has some good general advice. I also suggest you look at the [r/writing FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/writing/wiki/publishingfaq?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). This is roughly the approach that I followed in getting an international agent for my fiction book. In South Africa, it is common for first-time unpublished authors not to have agents and to approach publishers directly, but you should still have a good cover letter etc. ## Getting your non-fiction published If it's **non-fiction**, identify a publisher who publishes books similar to the one you've written and check out the submissions guidelines on their websites. For instance, [here are the guidelines](https://www.jonathanball.co.za/manuscript-submissions?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#:~:text=Email%20submissions%20should%20be%20sent,only%20delay%20the%20submission%20process) for my South African non-fiction publisher Jonathan Ball. Most non-fiction publishers want a proposal, sample chapters and a detailed outline. [Here's a list of some South African publishers](https://www.modjajibooks.co.za/contact/submissions/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), both fiction and nonfiction, to get you started. ## Consider your goals I'll be honest with you, the odds are against you when it comes to traditional publishing, and it's not an immediate path to fame and riches anyway unless it fits into a bigger career strategy. It's really worthwhile spending some time clarifying what you actually want to get out of this before you begin. Getting a book traditionally published is hard. It will probably take up a lot of your time with no guarantee of success. Depending on what you want to get out of this, you might find that self-publishing is a better route for you, or that you've already got the value you wanted to get just by doing the writing and you don't actually need anyone else to read it, or that you can achieve your goals just by hosting the content for free on a blogging platform (by the way, that's how *Manage Your Money...* started, as a series of free blog posts I stuck up on Medium). If you do decide to self-publish or blog your content, there are five billion guides to this online, just do a search. Best of luck! Again, it's a huge achievement to have finished a manuscript. Giant high-fives! xx ### How do I establish a credit score? URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-do-i-establish-a-credit-score/ Last updated: 2026-08-26T13:06:15.000Z A question today from a young reader about credit scores. *I'm 21\. I’ve always been pretty financially savvy, even as a kid \[Editor's note: you ARE STILL A KID, sweet pea\]. I’ve always saved my money and bought things cash…. and that is where my problem comes in. As I’ve always bought everything in cash I have no credit record and because I have no credit record, no one will give me credit. I have now got myself a credit card to use and pay off to try and start building a credit record but am finding this whole situation so frustrating. How is it that someone with no debt can’t get credit, but people with debt can easily get more credit?* *What would you recommend I do to try and build up my credit record?* Question-asker, you have just discovered one of the weirdest things about the money industry: no-one will give you credit if you're too good at managing your money. You are right to be frustrated! The whole system is lunacy and it doesn't have to be this way. But it is, and the only way to build up a credit record is to understand how the rules work, and try to maximise the score you're getting without taking on too much bad debt. What I mean by "bad debt" is any debt that you're taking on for stuff that won't make you money in the future. Credit cards, payday loans, store cards and overdrafts are all bad debt. In an ideal world, you'd avoid them as much as possible. The problem with this kind of debt is it incurs a high interest rate and makes everything you buy more expensive. Carrying bad debt, like when you just pay down the minimum payment owed on your credit card every month, gets you stuck in this place where the best investment you can make it always paying off your debt, so you can't really start investing for your future. When things go really wrong, [bad debt can send you into a debt spiral](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/get-out-of-debt/), which is what happened to me in my early 20s. The problem is that there is also "good debt" in the world, really useful debt, when you want to borrow money to buy an asset or improve your ability to earn an income. Student loans, mortgages/home loans, loans to start a business, and even a loan to buy a cheap car (if you need it to get a job) can all be forms of good debt, and these types of debt tend to have much lower interest rates. And you can't access the good debt without having a good credit score, which you usually have to do by taking on some bad debt first. So here's our goal: maximise your credit score while also protecting yourself against the worst elements of bad debt. How do we do that? First, it helps to understand the rules of the game you're playing. **Here are the elements that make your credit score better:** - You've had debt for a long time. Credit agencies like seeing several years worth of debt behaviour, so it helps to open your first line of debt when you're still fairly young. They also like it when a specific line of debt is old, so it's a good idea to keep the same credit card account open your whole life. - You have always paid your debts consistently. You never been late on any payments or skipped any payments. So, we want to make sure your debt repayments are automatic so that you don't have to worry about remembering to make payments on time. - You have a low credit utilisation, which means: you've got a lot of credit available, but you're only using a small amount of it. Like if your credit card limit is R10,000 but you're only using R100 of it. You want to try to keep your utilisation below 30%. - You've had no court judgements against you for not paying your debts. - You haven't recently been trying to open a lot of new lines of credits all at once - this could be a warning flag that you're having financial problems right now. - All of your personal information matches. For instance, if you've moved around a lot, make sure that your credit report shows your current address, and that this address is the same on all your active credit accounts. Those are the big things that we know are important. There are also small behavioural things that *might* make a difference, but we're not 100% sure because credit agencies don't publish their scoring rules. For instance, I've heard that credit agencies see it as a bad sign when you **draw cash out of an ATM** from a credit card, but I don't know if that's true. You can [check your own credit report for free once a year](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/find-your-credit-score/), and you should! If you spot any inaccuracies, you can contact the credit agency and ask them to correct their records. Credit reports are also a good way to make sure that you haven't been the victim of debt fraud (someone else pretending to be you and taking out debt in your name - it happens all the time, often, sadly, within families). Now, I want you to stare deep into your own soul and ask yourself a question: **are you the type of person who can have a lot of credit available and not be tempted to use it?** If you are, then congratulations. Here's your plan: 1. Apply for a store card at a shop you like (they're usually the most willing to give you your first card). 2. Use that store card until you are able to apply for a credit card. 3. Use both of those cards responsibly, paying off the amounts in FULL every single month (not the minimum payment, the full amount owed - that way you don't incur interest). Make sure this happens automatically so you never miss a payment. 4. Every time you are offered an increased credit card limit by your bank, accept it, but don't use it. That improves your credit utilisation. 5. Keep those accounts forever. Boom, after a couple of years, you'll have a healthy credit score. Sadly, I have come to terms with the fact that I have about as much impulse control as a squirrel on cocaine, so I cannot actually walk around with a credit card in my pocket. It's a disaster waiting to happen. **If you are like me, then here's your plan:** 1. Apply for a store card at a shop you HATE, so you will not be tempted to shop there often. 2. Buy one item on your store card, pay it off that month, and see if that's enough for your bank to give you a credit card. Repeat until it is, and you have a shiny new credit card. 3. Close the store card. 4. Load the credit card into an app that you use sometimes but not often, like Uber or a food delivery app. Or if those are too tempting, then find a subscription you can pay using your credit card, like Netflix. You need just amount activity on your card to keep it active. 5. Now, put that card AWAY. Hide it well. You could keep it in the freezer, or give it to your grandma (if you trust your grandma), or hide it in a book. Just make sure it's safe and not in your wallet. 6. Set up your credit card so the FULL amount owing is paid off every month, automatically. 7. Cool, now never think about your credit card again. 8. Every time you are offered an increased credit card limit by your bank, accept it, but don't change anything about your behaviour. That improves your credit utilisation. 9. Keep that credit card account open forever. I know this sounds ridiculous, but it's literally what I had to do to rebuild my credit score after clawing my way out of my own debt spiral. Self-knowledge is the key to happiness, friends! Your credit report SHOULD take into account whether you've been able to pay other large bills consistently, like your rent, but it doesn't. It does, though count stuff like DStv, some utilities, cellphone contracts, and a few other types of bills. If you don't think you can trust yourself with even method two, then just look for a line of credit that won't be remotely tempting for you to overspend on. I hope that's helpful, question-asker. Good luck! xx S *2026 update: a startup called* [*Pokkit*](https://pokkitscore.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) *promises to let you build your credit score from a savings account. I haven't tried it personally but it looks cool. If you try it out, please let me know how it goes!* ### Google Translate Telephone Poetry URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/google-translate-telephone/ Last updated: 2021-11-18T13:01:03.000Z I fed some news articles through several different languages in Google Translate, and then back into English, creating a "broken-telephone" effect. You get some delightful gibberish if you pass a text through enough languages, which I then turned into poems. I did not add or alter any words, but did remove words and change punctuation so stuff *kind of* made sense. Apart from being good fun, I think translating a text between multiple languages can reveal the subtext, sometimes. ## WE SO BIG It may not be so lucky for this year's world, which is what we inherit: the claim. “Donald Trump does not feel small.” When I was young, my father always told me that. I thought he still said, “Ivanka, strive to fulfill the commitment to ruthlessness.” We will hit all the time, all the way. (applause) DEVELOPER: DONALD TRUMP is the title from the Main Road. That can be done. See the disabled students, graduated from high school, who can not afford the family life of the Mother's Debt, to resume work to raise the children. Some politicians saw this unfairness. You said, “I feel.” Only my father said, "I will fight for you.” (applause) The men and women of this country are trying to find out. Hard and consistent. It is honest and true. Optimism and the United States. Absolute believers. Ask politicians. Use the results to measure. I ask you to judge me with the result. Father of the industry! No one is more at ease with the American people than my father. You and your movie hero. (applause) You are ready to come back. “Always speak for all women,” He told me a long time ago. I respected him my whole life. Come on January 17th! Everything is possible again. We just hope, dream, want to win big. The next president of the United States, Donald Trump, and my father. *[Based on Ivanka Trump's 2016 speech at the Republican Convention](https://time.com/4417579/republican-convention-ivanka-trump-transcript/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* ## The Place Where Being a Nuclear Waste Dump May Be a Good Option Rust Belt State 60 percent of the desert, staring into the abyss. Keep the unemployment rate. GM will close its plant (more than 50 automakers) when a third of the population has no function. The Government decided the recession is shrinking, and he looked at all of the country as a landfill, – nuclear waste in the world – even possible. The State is the center of the continent. The hard choices. "They know that there is a crisis, or even when it will come," said Trade. "This is a laboratory that matters." *[Based on this Bloomberg article](http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2015-09-06/the-place-where-being-a-nuclear-waste-dump-may-be-a-good-option?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* --- ## The Sensible Case for Totally Ignoring All the E-mails You Miss on Vacation Less than a week in the summer, Lake George lay in wait for him. When he returned: 596 unread messages. They are wasted. "This has been cleared." There is no way to avoid wasting postage. All these hundreds of millions of workers are especially interesting news. Work, production of hundreds, empty, unless you decide? Why do you jump his absence, even forever? He went over Labor Day weekend. After three days, the software people can email the footsteps, depending on the location. It's that simple. Summer job, but do not worry. Poverty is no input. Maintain power. A certain level of noise. "We were able to respond," It's a flood, or a basic responsibility. 6:00 half-life, when people sit announced in your inbox. Avoiding it has some sense. *[Based on this Bloomberg article](http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2015-09-03/the-sensible-case-for-totally-ignoring-all-the-e-mails-you-miss-on-vacation?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* --- ## Isle of Man, Tax Haven with Tailless Cats, Becomes Bitcoin Hub Everyone wonders how it is. Cat background in the middle of the Irish Sea, in the four corners of the stone and the good and the Victorian engine and TT national motorcycling men and unknown risks, and the best on the island. Mercedes-Benz S-Class at the airport – a place to take care of 70 minutes. A woman waiting to meet with the audience: Yes, well, well, the gray suit, Kate, my surprise. Welcome to the growing field of digital cash. Wikipedia arc taking London, New York and San Francisco into account. Union Jack minors and time capsule, and I think that it looks like tomorrow. *[Based on this Bloomberg article](http://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2015-09-07/isle-of-man-tax-haven-with-tailless-cats-becomes-bitcoin-hub?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* ### The Old Chesterton Allotment Society URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-old-chesterton-allotment-society/ Last updated: 2021-11-16T08:15:40.000Z Hello, grownups! What do you do with a broken heart, if you are stuck on an island 13,000km away from everyone you love? You cut it into pieces, making sure there is at least one bud on each. You wait for your heart to form thick callouses, then bury the pieces cut-side down, twelve inches apart, three inches deep, pushing them snug into hilled rows. You cover your heart in mulch, and you wait for the spring. I [moved to England](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/not-somewhere-else-but-here/) in the depths of winter. I thought this was a brilliant plan, because I’d be front-loading all my misery and getting all the tough parts over with in one go. A pool-jumping, rather than a slowly-easing-in-at-the-steps approach to moving. *If you move in the middle of winter, then every day will be a little bit warmer, a little bit lighter, a little bit easier*, I told myself. Only, this was January 2020, and I’d failed to predict one minor detail: a global pandemic that would make it impossible to get to know my new city, or meet any friends, or leave the house for longer than one hour a day with the one other member of my household. I’ve never struggled to make friends. I’m a joiner, by nature. Nothing makes me feel happier than being part of a club or a team or a troop or a gang or a crew. If there’s even the slightest chance of a branded t-shirt then I am ALL IN. Making friends would be so easy, I thought. I’d made a list of groups to join before I moved: Scouts, a D&D group, a book club, a hiking club, an amateur dramatics society, a writing group, a drawing class… Of course, when I actually moved, none of these things were operating. I hunted and hunted, and eventually found one group that was still running: The Old Chesterton Allotment Society. Reader, I joined it. An allotment is a parcel of land that you can rent out by the year and grow vegetables on. It’s kind of a community garden, except that everyone has their own, clearly demarcated plot. They’re only rented out to regular people, never to businesses. For the princely sum of £140 a year, I was allocated a piece of land far larger than my flat. If you are much, much better at allotment gardening than I am, you might be able to meet your whole family’s entire vegetable and fruit needs from the average-sized allotment. In my case, I managed to produce an ungodly volume of spinach, potatoes, onions, tomatoes, and snails, but little else. In a country facing an infuriating housing crisis, the existence and affordability of an allotment feels frankly miraculous. I was on the waiting list for six months. In London, the average waiting time is around seven years. In the past, allotments were a key element of food security for large hungry families. They were first codified in law during the intense urbanisation of the early 20th century, and they became even more popular when they were rebranded as [Victory Gardens](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/on-victory-gardens-and-community-resilience/) during the two world wars. Nowadays, they’re basically social clubs for octogenarians. I was the youngest member of the Old Chesterton Allotment Society by approximately sixty years. This made me an item of suspicion and scorn, but also of pity. Within twenty minutes of arriving at my allotment, I could count on some kindly passerby to wander over to tell me that I was holding my hoe all wrong, or I wasn’t pruning my tomatoes aggressively enough, or hadn’t noticed that the snails had entirely overrun my beer traps and were now mounting a new offence against the pea seedlings. Their suspicion of youngsters isn’t entirely unwarranted. Sue and Pat, the first two women who warmed up to me, confessed that there had been a spate of young people (i.e. people in their 30s and 40s) taking plots in the past few years, and they usually lost interest after just a couple of weeks., once they realised that maintaining an allotment is more drudgery than romance. I reassured them by telling them that I’m a seasoned vegetable-grower (omitting the fact that said vegetables have consisted of a couple of spinach plants, a few kitchen herbs, and two marijuana plants named Mary-Kate and Hashley). The virtue most cherished by allotment gardeners is thrift. Buying pre-built greenhouses or trellises or sheds is frowned upon. Instead, you see ingenious structures built from wood scraps, old pallets, chicken wire, brittle plastic pipes. There’s endless debate amongst the members about the best place to buy seeds. Admit that you were WEAK and bought established plants from the home supply shop because those goddamn snails keep eating your seedlings, and you will be rewarded with a flurry of *tisk tisks* and raised eyebrows, even if it ultimately cost you 20 pence more per plant. Mortifying. What you might not realise about farming an allotment is that it’s a competitive sport. The goal isn’t just to grow the fruits and vegetables you want, but to *grow better fruits and vegetables than your neighbours*. Allotment members would never admit this, but they put a lot more effort into making their allotments look neat and manicured than actually aids their vegetable production efforts. Most people plant a strip of flowers closest to the road, ostensibly to attract pollinators. About half the time you spend at the allotment is spent maintaining your plot, and the other half is spent wandering over to your neighbours to gossip about the failings of their neighbours. “Lovely raspberries, nothing like Her in plot 92, look like they haven’t been watered in weeks, poor things. I should ask if she wants to borrow another watering can.” They will then move on to your neighbour, presumably to do the same to you. There’s lots of passive-aggressive generosity. I once got an, “Oh, it looks like you might need to borrow my fork, dear, to dig up those weeds that are strangling your carrots. Feel free to grab it from my shed any time!” Well fuck you too, Dorothy, you’ve let your spinach go to seed, don’t think I haven’t noticed. My favourite person was a man named Willy, who was there every single day. His eyes were red-rimmed and rheumy, and he looked like he was made of chalk, but that man knew absolutely everything about plants. He saved my tomato plants from blight, showing me how to pinch off the affected stems and leaves before the fungus spread across the rest of the plant. “You have to be more ruthless,” he kept telling me. “Be more ruthless or you’ll lose the plant.” For many weeks in the nine-month lockdown, Willy was the only person I spoke to apart from my partner. We never spoke about anything except plants. I have no idea where he’s from, or what he used to do before he devoted his life to coaxing food out of soil and air. I have no idea if I can call him my friend, but he gave me cabbages and I gave him onions, and he showed me how to dig up potatoes without piercing them, and in the subtle language of the allotment, I think that makes us BFFs for life. Like any organisation that’s been around for a long time (the Old Chesterton Allotment Society was founded in 1924) there are tangled politics and feuds that go back generations. There is a Byzantine constitution that’s constantly being amended. I get more emails from the Old Chesterton Allotment Society than from my bank, telling me about updates to bylaws, contestations of those updates, reversions to the original bylaws, contestations of those reversions. There are frequent elections to the management committee since people - er - die a lot (simple demographics, although looking only at the death rate, you might think that allotment gardening is one of the most high-risk hobbies ever invented). There was a three-hour AGM two months ago debating the question of the differences between a Member and an Associate Member, a distinction that surely is of grave importance to somebody, somewhere. There’s a built-in generosity to allotments. Unless you are spectacularly good at planning, you go through waves of having an absolute glut of something or another. You cannot eat, store or pickle twenty whole heads of cabbage that all ripen at once, So you give them to your neighbours. It’s like watching the invention of trade from first principles. There’s a hierarchy of vegetable value. Nobody wants your damn spinach, unfortunately for me and my entire freezer full of cooked and frozen spinach. Berries, though, are in hot demand. Cauliflower is the real white gold this year, after most people’s crops were decimated by cabbage worms. You know the one person who managed to grow a whole beautiful row of perfect cauliflower heads this year? Willy. What a hero! When an allotment member is dying, the other members of the society let their garden run wild. They don’t look after it for them, because in that particularly English way, it would be a gross violation of their independence to touch another person’s vegetables. So at any time, there are three or four plots in the Old Chesterton site running wild. They become gorgeous, filled with wildflowers and butterflies and fat bumblebees. You often see other members standing at the edge, gazing over the plot, tears in their eyes. “He taught me everything I know about killing cabbage moth,” Pat told me. And then one day, you’ll arrive, and the plot will have been ploughed up, razed over, earth violently stripped, and you’ll know what has happened without needing to ask. There is beauty here, and love, and astonishing pettiness. When you are allocated a plot, you must sign a fourteen-page “Respect Policy”, which details and forbids dozens of distinct ways that people can bully, harass and intimidate each other. They say that regulations are written in blood, and you have to wonder how many juicy dramas have played out amongst these sunflowers and raspberry bushes to have necessitated such a document. I found my first clue about these undercurrents of darkness on the very first day I toured the site. Two four-foot-tall Englishwomen in their eighties were showing me around, trying to suss out whether this suspiciously young thirty-something would be up to the task of battling the endless waves of snails (Reader, she was not). At some point, one of them asked what I do for a living. “I’m a writer,” I said. They immediately perked up. “Ooh good, there’s plenty of material for you to write about here!” “I hope not. I mostly write crime and horror.” Their faces darkened. “Oh yes, plenty of that too! Let me tell you about Her over at plot 28, who stole my good stainless steel spade…” Wishing you courage in your battle against the snail army, Sam --- ## Should I pay off my bond, or invest? A reader sent me a question the other day which I thought I'd share with you: *The company I work for was recently acquired, and I was lucky enough to get a nice big bonus out of the deal. Would it be advisable to use my payout to pay off my entire bond, or to take a portion and invest in a share basket?* Purely from a financial perspective, it's **usually** a better idea to invest in a share basket (or even better, [a low-fee global ETF](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/is-it-safe-to-invest-in-a-new-etf/), through a tax free investment wrapper) than to pay off a bond. This is for two major reasons: - On average, you can expect equities to grow more than the interest rate you're likely paying on your home loan. That's especially true right now while interest rates on home loans are unusually low. - Equities are more diversified than your house, so you're not betting all your money on a single asset. But that said, there are good reasons to do things that aren't financial. Some people get enormous peace of mind from owning their homes outright and if you believe that's true for you, then it might be worth doing anyway. Ideally, you'd want to sit with a good [fee-based financial planner](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-to-find-a-financial-adviser-who-doesnt-suck/) to look at your financial situation overall, including considering the tax implications for either choice. There are nuances that can mean it is financially better to pay off a home loan in certain situations (although it's unusual). If I were in your position, I would probably invest in shares rather than paying off my home loan, or split the money and do a little of both. Just remember that shares/ETFs are not a quick money-making scheme or a place to park your short-term savings, they're a place to invest your money for the long-term (5+ years). I hope that helps! --- ![Sam sitting on a wooden throne with a sign next to it that says "Storytelling throne"](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/11/image.png) I found a storytelling throne in the Cambridge Botanical Gardens, and I sat in it, so I hereby claim my title as the Story Queen :) ## Updates from Sam-land Today's piece is a bit of a fond farewell to the Old Chesterton Allotment Society, since we've decided to give up our allotment plot and move to London. I'm sad to finally concede the war against the snails, but thrilled about moving to a city where I have more friends. I'm so grateful that we were in Cambridge during the lockdowns rather than in the city, but now that everything's opened up, I'm ready for a fresh start. Flathunting starts next week, and we hope to be settled somewhere new by the end of the year. Please beam me find-an-awesome-flat-that-doesn't-cost-a-bajillion-quid energy! ### Postcards postcards! URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/postcards-postcards/ Last updated: 2021-12-23T12:22:44.000Z _This post is for paying subscribers only._ ### Teenage Smut URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/teenage-smut/ Last updated: 2021-10-29T09:31:43.000Z Hello, grownups! Have you spent hundreds of hours speculating on the sex lives of various Tolkien characters? I’m afraid to say that I have. This is because two momentous events happened to occur to me at the same time: my first reading of *Lord of the Rings*, and puberty. I can tell you that Gimli would surprise you with his tenderness, his axe-calloused hands brushing gently up the skin on your hips. Denethor has an entire dungeon of collars and shock-wands. It takes an Ent four days to remove your clothes. Gollum is clammy-cold in an interesting way. Elves are romantic but asexual. Aragorn will insist on gazing into your eyes as he makes love to you. [Tom Bombadil](https://lotr.fandom.com/wiki/Tom%5FBombadil?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), now, that guy *fucks*. But like, *everything*. He’s friends with an animate willow tree and married to a river, and you know he’s wandering through the Old Forest sticking bits of himself into every earthy hole he can find. I confess - I particularly spent a lot of time thinking about Tom Bombadil as a teenager, and that idea, of fucking a fecund fertile forest, is still a fantasy that causes a particular friction in me. I dub this Sam’s Law of Teenage Smut: any book you happen to be obsessed with between the ages of twelve and fourteen will become fuel for countless frenzied hours of randy daydreaming, and thereby shape your sexual preferences forever. That’s just the way it goes. Sorry, anyone who happened to be really into *Redwall*. ![The cover of the book Redwall by Brian Jacques, featuring a mouse.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/10/image-1.png) My childhood best friend was an earnestly Christian teenager who was nonetheless as full of teenage hormones as the rest of us. She’d dutifully read the Bible every night in bed. Problem was, a lot of the Bible is also pretty boring, all so-and-so son of so-and-so, so her hand would find itself wandering down to her crotch, and before she knew it she’d developed a nightly masturbating-to-the-Bible ritual. Talk of damnation still has an unexpected Pavlovian effect on her today. Around the same time I was spending far too many nights thinking about Tom Bombadil’s libidinous activities involving trees, my family got our first dial-up modem. The best thing about the Internet was that it led to the discovery that *other human beings are horny too*, which was a thrilling fact to learn if you were thirteen and living in *verkrampte* Pretoria and had been starting to worry you were a freak. In the early-2000s, the place that all horny teenage nerds gathered were the fanfiction boards, particularly, the ones dedicated to writing stories about [all the different characters in Harry Potter fucking each other](https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Harry%20Potter%20-%20J%2Ad%2A%20K%2Ad%2A%20Rowling/works?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Back then, we called these stories “slashfic”, because they were organised by the participants involved. There was your more mainstream Harry/Hermione, Harry/Malfoy and Harry/Ron/Hermione, but you could find any combination if you searched long enough, down to a Professor Sprout/Hagrid/Mrs Weasley gangbang, probably. And if you couldn’t find what you were after, you could write it. Many writers of contemporary young adult fiction I’ve met admit that they honed their writing chops on slashfic. I was most proud of a Hermione/Hermione story, where she used her time turner to spend some quality time with herself. How this is not an idea that made it into *Prisoner of Azkaban* is beyond me. If you’re telling me that a fifteen-year-old with a time turner wouldn’t immediately use it to discover new ways to masturbate, you’ve never met a fifteen-year-old. God bless teenagers and their erotic genius. No creature on earth is more creative than a horny teen with limited material to work with. They can see the masturbatory potential in ordinary household objects, and they can make smut out of the most wholesome fiction. The real magic of fanfic boards is how they allowed kids who had never been represented in fiction before to write themselves into the stories they loved. If you wanted Hogwarts in India with queer kids in wheelchairs, you could write it. Beyond the raunchiness, this has always been the true radical promise of fanfiction: it allows readers to own the stories they love. When we talk about loving books, we usually have a more cerebral idea in mind. But most people who come to love books do so - at some point - through a decidedly carnal lens. I bet you’ve thought about a literary character while masturbating. I bet I’m not the only person on earth who’s ever wished for a Tom Bombadildo. Wishing you fun times with your favourite literary figure, Sam --- Thanks to Melanie, Andile and Velaphi for the chat that inspired this piece, Bo Burnham for reminding me how much the early 2000s internet was ["all the different characters in Harry Potter fucking each other"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1BneeJTDcU&ab%5Fchannel=boburnham&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and Murray for coining the phrase "Tom Bombadildo". --- ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/10/IMG_20211020_084833.jpg) Digby hanging out on the world's most adorable quilt that my mum crocheted for me ### Updates from Sam-Land Cambridge in the autumn is a delight, all crunchy leaves and carved pumpkins and academics walking around in cosy knitwear. It's been good being back home with my cat and getting stuck back into work. I've started writing a new novel (eeeeee!) so I'll be spending a lot of time this winter having conversations with my imaginary friends, which is my absolute favourite way to spend my time. Some things I've been loving recently: - I flippen DEVOURED *[The Final Girl Support Group](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/55829194-the-final-girl-support-group?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* by Grady Hendrix this week. If you love 80s horror films, gutsy well-written characters, and wild pacing, this is the book for you! It's the perfect Halloween read. - Look, everyone's talking about Sally Rooney's *[Beautiful World, Where Are You](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/56597885-beautiful-world-where-are-you?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=7vmqlJx0SH&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* so you don't need me to talk about it too, so let me just say that it's worthy of all the hype. - Before the 1970s, people who studied baboons described them as being only a violent, aggressive species with male-dominated hierarchies. Shirley Strum was one of the first women primatologists to spend time closely observing baboons in Kenya, and helped to develop our understanding of their social behaviour, which we now know is much more complex, and friendship-based, than people used to think. Strum wrote up her findings in a lovely book called *[Almost Human: A Journey into the World of Baboons](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/568708.Almost%5FHuman?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=PX2EcZ6EUz&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com).* It's as interesting to read about the experiences of being a woman scientist in the early 1970s as it is to read about the baboons. - Lastly, I have been loving this sweet little poem ["Small Kindnesses"](https://www.nytimes.com/2019/09/19/magazine/poem-small-kindnesses.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Danusha Laméris**.** ### Winning the "War" URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/winning-the-war/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:39:33.000Z A young man walks towards us in a busy city street. He is in a military uniform, new buttons gleaming, cap jaunty-angled, his eyes fixed on the camera. Something about his lanky frame and baby-smooth cheeks suggests he is more boy than man. Three women walk in the other direction, the prim shapes of the backs of their black heels, skirts, coats and hats tell us the rest: it’s the 1940s, which means these women are walking off to a different destiny than the one that faces our young soldier. Over 70-million people fought in World War Two, so there must be around 70-million families who have some version of this photograph tucked into an album in the corner of a dusty bookshelf. I care about this one, because this man, captioned “EHB: 1941”, became my grandfather. With my privileged insider information, I can tell you that this was taken in Cape Town CBD, just after he completed his training in Youngsfield, a few days before he was sent to Egypt where - according to him - he single-handedly defeated Rommel. I can also tell you that the boy in this photograph is seventeen years old. He lied about his age and signed up when he was sixteen. Back then, that’s just what poor boys did, especially those who were born in small mining towns like Piketberg and - like every teenager in every small town throughout history - were desperate to leave it. There’s a standard set of emotions one feels obliged to project onto photographs of young men about to head off to a Great War: stoic resignation, doomed innocence, courageous duty, bald fear. You can’t read a photograph without its context. But with this photograph, I have *too much* context: I can’t read it without also projecting my memories of the man this boy ultimately became, the jolly octogenarian whose bony knee I’d perch on while we paged through the album this photograph lives in. I wish you could have met my grandfather. He was a hoot. He could wiggle his ears and talk like Donald Duck, and he was seven-foot tall, and every old lady in Sedgefield had a major crush on him, and children adored him. We adored him so much that we’d let him show us his boring old photo albums. You didn’t know my grandfather, so maybe you can read trepidation into this boy’s face. I can only see a kid playing at looking serious, his expression about to crack into a big goofy grin, like this whole war thing’s just a silly game. Look, I’ve got more evidence on my side to support this reading: the album itself is labelled “Winning the ‘War’”, with ‘War’ written just like that, in inverted commas, like come on, can you really believe this shit? Apart from the military uniforms, you might be forgiven for thinking that it’s an album of holiday snaps: it’s all photos of the pyramids, camels, statues in Damascus (indeed, this was the only time my grandfather was ever able to travel overseas), merry group shots of shirtless men drinking beer, a kitten they adopted in Cyprus, swimming in a lake near Beirut, boys messing around in drag making ironic Nazi salutes (if you were literally risking your life to stop Nazis, I think you’re allowed to make ironic Nazi salutes). ![An old photo album that says, 'On the job, winning the "War"' with War in inverted commas](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/10/IMG_4272.jpg) There’s a whole section featuring only photos of my grandfather standing next to a different hot young woman, each one labelled only “EHB + friend”, the cad! They could be photographs of a Boy Scout camp in the desert. I mean, presumably they were also finding time to fight a war at some point amongst all this growing up, but there’s no evidence of it in the photographs. It’s an album of boyhood, cusp-of-manhood, the war merely a backdrop. He did have some friends who died, yes, but trauma and death never featured in his stories. Instead, his war stories were always of camaraderie, friendship, adolescent mischief. My grandfather fought in World War Two, but all evidence is that he had a grand old time doing it. I often wonder if this is something about the configuration of his personality, or if he was just extraordinarily fortunate. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/10/IMG_4276.jpg) When he was much older, in his eighties, my grandfather’s most beloved possession was a bright blue fishing boat, really nothing more than a few planks bound together by twine and hopefulness. Tempting fate, he named it **Lucky**. Inevitably, that hunk of junk sank to the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean, nearly killing him. He immediately got a replacement boat, which he also painted bright blue. And you know what he named that damn boat? **Lucky II**. It is impossible not to love a man so optimistic that he names a boat Lucky II. I don’t know what any of that has to do with this photograph of this bright-eyed boy about to go off to war, no trace of poignancy in his face. Maybe everything. I think some people go through life with a real sense of how they’re playing a part in history, and others just bumble around having fun with their friends hoping things will work out for them. Irritatingly, they usually do. --- ## Updates from Sam-land I've just returned home after a WHOLE MONTH in South Africa, spending time with friends and family. My inbox is a hellscape, but my heart is full, my brain feels reconstituted, and I'm brimming with joy. Next week, we get back to work! ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/10/image.png) Heading off to the Magoebaskloof Valley with three of my dearests. ### A small place URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/a-small-place/ Last updated: 2021-10-06T15:23:05.000Z Hello, grownups! Airports always make me feel like the world is a very small place. I’ve spent enough time in them to know that each one is different, and has its own strategy for comfort: don’t eat anything except the bran muffins from Jomo Kenyatta. The benches at Dubai International were designed by a demon who hates sleep - you’re better off finding a soft-looking bit of floor. Do not bother trying to make jokes with the staff at Dulles; they are immune. But all airports, no matter how different, are also fundamentally the same. Connecting places. Places that exist outside of time. Places that make the world smaller. The one I’m in now is the Departures hall of Heathrow Terminal Three. It is 5:17 in the morning, and I have been awake since 2:50 am, and I am in that state of being so tired that it feels like enlightenment. I can read the deep meaning of the arrangement of red plastic chairs. The neat little signs warning me to “Keep a safe distance from others” feel like tablets presenting immense wisdom. Maybe it's the tired-drunkenness talking, but any distance feels safe. I am suffused with love for all humanity. Said humanity: a Business Guy wearing a business suit, at 5:17 in the morning, businessly reading a business paper. A pair of lesbian moms playing peek-a-boo with their baby using their face-masks. A woman tenderly rubbing into the hollow of her shoulder, her arm in a sling. Six people wearing matching blue sports jerseys. Their physiques are not typical sportsplaying physiques, so I assume they’re fans. There’s one other woman sitting a few rows from me, wearing a pink fluffy Elmo-fur coat, eyeing the roller door in front of the Pret with the same hopeful eyes as me. They’re all gorgeous. I love them all. We’re all this together. I would slice off my left leg in exchange for a single cup of coffee. A man walks past us wearing full PPE, the whole white hazmat suit and booties. He’s dragging a beat-up wheelie bag. He stops and checks the information board, so he must be a passenger. He looks like he’s of East-Asian descent. People from East Asia used to be the only ones routinely travelling in face-masks. I wonder if they’ll stay a step ahead of the rest of us, now travelling in full isolation bubbles. The rest of us will scoff, until a few years from now when we realise they were right all along. A hopeful light has switched on inside the Pret. Pink-coat woman and I both sit up straighter. It’s now 5:25\. There’s no notice about what time the Pret opens. But oh god, we might just be lucky. The only other shops open at this time are those strange Duty Free counters, bathed in sci-fi white light and plastic white shelves crammed with any luxury item you might want, as long as what you want is overpriced perfume or watches or make-up kits. Nothing caffeinated, not even coffee-flavoured chocolate eclairs. I checked. God is speaking. Her reassuring voice fills the hall. “Try to avoid physical contact. Try to avoid unnecessary contact. Try to keep your distance. You must wear your face mask. Your mask must cover your nose and mouth.” I nod. Then I realise that I’m nodding, and stop. The logistics of international air travel are miraculous. But that’s why it all fell apart so quickly, isn’t it? The world’s full of these holes, now. Airports. Portals between one place and another. Cracks that places that people and time and viruses slip through. The sports team walk get up and walk past me. I glance up at their jerseys. Small embroidered writing on the right breast announces that they are part of a tug-of-war team. Athletes, after all. See! Humanity: gorgeous. I’m dutifully sipping at my water-bottle, reapplying nipple cream to my lips to prepare them for the dry air of the cabin. Amazing how familiar all this is, although it’s my first flight in two years. My last flight was the one that brought me to England, when I thought I’d be able to pop back for quick visits all the time. That was the whole reason we chose England. “Don’t worry Mom, England’s just an overnight flight away.” The person who said that used to be me, before Red Lists and FFP2s, before Fit-to-Fly PCR tests, before the world briefly became too big, and home was an impossible place to go. I’m so ready for the world to be small again. The Pret! The Pret opened! Wishing you all a giant caffeinated beverage, Sam --- *Eagle-eyed readers (i.e. anyone who follows my Instagram) will guess that this was actually written a couple of weeks ago, while I was almost hallucinating from tiredness in the departures lounge at Heathrow Airport. I've now spent the past few weeks actually being in South Africa! With my friends and family! I am happy beyond words. Sorry things have been so quiet around here recently - we'll resume regularly scheduled emails in a couple of weeks. Thank you for your patience. I hope all of you can go squeeze the people you love!* x ### Recorder Girl URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/recorder-girl/ Last updated: 2021-09-07T06:56:20.000Z Hello, grownups! I always hope that when I tell someone that I played the recorder until matric, they’ll gasp and think it’s a very surprising fact about me. “What a surprise!” they’ll exclaim, “I’d have guessed you were in a punk band, or that you created avant-garde electronic music made out of sounds recorded in public bathrooms.” Nope. To my eternal disappointment, they usually shrug and say, “well, yes, that sounds about right.” It is my great shame to be forever branded as a recorder girl. The recorder was a popular instrument in Europe from around 1500-1700, and then faded into obscurity, presumably when everybody realised it sounds like a yodling seagull. It was resurrected in the 1930s, when a Nazi collaborator named Carl Orff (of *Carmina Burana* fame) developed a music education methodology called Schulwerk that popularised the recorder as an ideal first instrument for young children. It’s portable, cheap, easy to mass-manufacture, and the soprano is the ideal size for little hands. It’s a direct melody instrument, easy to learn how to count your hot cross buns on. So, yes, Nazis are the reason an almost-extinct Renaissance instrument remains one of the most popular first instruments for children in primary schools all around the world, a fact I’m sure would not surprise most long-suffering parents of children who are learning the recorder. It’s my dad’s fault that I fell in love with the recorder, the world’s least lovable instrument. Trying to get my screeching as far out of the house as possible, he once suggested that I should play my recorder to the fairies who lived in the bottom of the garden, because fairies love the song ‘Greensleeves’. This backfired, because I became convinced that the recorder was actually some kind of magical instrument that allowed me to commune with the supernatural. I was never going to give it up after that. Being one of those kids who is STILL playing the recorder in high school brands you, man. You end up spending all your lunch breaks hiding in the music room with the other classical music dorks. It was a sort of camaraderie, but not one any of us would have chosen. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/09/image.png) Dwight Schrute from *The Office*, the ultimate recorder boy The only way playing the recorder ever helped my social life was when I was in grade nine, and was invited to join the grade eleven play. They were putting on *A Midsummer Night’s Dream*, and they asked me to dress up like a fairy and wander around in the background of the forest scenes improvising twinkly recorder music. I was like, *YES, I have been training for this role since grade two, Dad look at me now*. I had a painfully intense crush on the grade eleven who was playing Titania (wearing a sparkly crop-top that is forever burned into my wounded teenage heart) and she learned my name, *my actual name*, although it was mostly to ask me to please shut up with that damn recorder music for a moment while she was rehearsing her lines. Classical music in Pretoria in the 2000s was a weird scene. It’s not difficult to see how classical music was weaponised by Apartheid, how the music of long-dead Europeans was lauded as part of the ongoing colonial project to construct a hierarchy of culture. Apparently, a prominent National Party’s school inspector of the 1950s once said that “any music containing elements of rock, jazz, African, Indian, or dance music” was decadent and unsuitable for schoolchildren\*. In the 2000s, Pretoria Model C and private high schools still felt very much like finishing schools for the Apartheid elite, and there was a well-funded and thriving classical arts scene. There were endless “Eisteddfods” (inter-school music competitions), Kunswedstrye, Baroque ensembles, and recorder girls being churned out by the dozen. Occasionally, our schools would make some token gesture to the fact that we lived in the New South Africa, by letting us play kwelas or - ehgahd - adding a marimba to a Vivaldi composition, but they always felt half-hearted. Even when you're amazing at playing the recorder, you look like an idiot while doing so, sorry. The only defence I shall mount for the recorder is that it is a much more fun instrument to play than it is to listen to. I didn't like listening to recorder music even when I played the damn thing. The only instrument more awful to listen to than a recorder is a bagpipe, and a bagpipe is really just multiple recorders jammed into a sheep's bladder. The recorder is an easy instrument to learn, and a difficult one to master. You cannot blow a recorder, blowing will only make it squawk. You have to breathe into a recorder, or speak into it. Most of the articulation happens in your mouth, so playing well involves tonging a babble of tukutukutuku sounds as your fingers move. Good recorder players would be great at oral sex, except that playing the recorder means that they’re unlikely to ever have the chance to try. You can’t play a recorder loudly. That’s the main reason, really, that it fell out of favour when orchestras grew larger in the 1800s: its sound just can’t match the volume of most modern instruments. The cello, oblique flute (the recorder’s marginally cooler cousin), the oboe, even the bloody clarinet, all were rescued from the depths of uncoolness by jazz players in the early 20th century, but the recorder just can’t stand up to the sound of a brass band. So really, I think the reason that recorders are so uncool is that they are the whitest of all instruments. Black culture invented cool, and Black culture has never bestowed coolness on the recorder.\*\*\* Whatever instrument you learned to play as a kid, I hope it brought you joy (even if, like the recorder, you regularly had to blow your spit out of it). Sam P.S. please do listen to the greatest piece of recorder music ever created, [at this link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCPj4JPbKtA&ab%5Fchannel=20thCenturyFlute&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It's only 20 seconds long. --- \* Quoted in Herbst, A., De Wet, J., & Rijsdijk, S. (2005). A Survey of Music Education in the Primary Schools of South Africa's Cape Peninsula. *Journal of Research in Music Education*, 53(3), 260-283\. \*\* **Weird tangent: Eisteddfods are Welsh spoken-word cultural festivals. The only other places in the world where the term is commonly in use are former British colonies: South Africa and Australia.** \*\*\* **Literally. The word “cool” as “fashionable, effortless” started as African-American vernacular in the 1930s, and was popularised by jazz legend Lester Young.** --- ![Two tents glowing in the darkness](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/09/9C0B8A97-9CB5-4953-B370-EE4001DC49D2.jpeg) Our two little tents on a lonely beach in Scotland, photo by my buddy Wiebke Toussaint ## Updates from Sam-land - I just got back from Scotland! It was delightful and extremely cold. We were mostly bumming around and camping in random fields, but we did manage to squeeze in a few days of the Edinburgh Festival. Highlights were a standup show by [Alex Farrow](https://twitter.com/alex%5Ffarrow?lang=en&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) called "Philosophy Pig", full of nerdy philosophy jokes (some of them were a little niet-zche, geddit geddit), and Angelina Chudi's excellent one-woman play *[Patricia Gets Ready (for a Date With the Man Who Used to Hit Her)](https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2021/aug/19/patricia-gets-ready-for-a-date-with-the-man-that-used-to-hit-her-review?ref=sambeckbessinger.com).* I'm sure they will both be touring the rest of the UK soon. Do see them if you have the chance. - I haven't mentioned work stuff for a while, because I've been busy with some TV projects I can't really talk about yet. But rest assured, I've been busy, and hopefully will be able to bring you some cute new projects soon :) - Oh my fucking shit have you all read Susanna Clarke's *[Piranesi](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/48496334-piranesi?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*?! I think it's the best book I've read all year, and I have read some EXCELLENT books this year. xx ### Some questions about starting a blog URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/some-questions-about-starting-a-blog/ Last updated: 2021-09-07T06:57:19.000Z A reader sent me some questions about starting a blog. I'm answering them here in case they're of value to anyone else. > I’m looking to start writing a blog to help me cope with a recent personal crisis, and was hoping I could ask you some questions. > I’d prefer my blog to be anonymous – is that feasible? Especially when replying to comments? It's definitely possible to blog anonymously. Depending on how you choose to approach things, you might need to pay a little bit extra to keep your personal information off your hosting records, for instance. Honestly, I'd recommend disabling comments. Comment moderation is far more trouble than it's worth. Instead, make it easy for people to contact you, which you can do anonymously by setting up an email address especially for your blog. > Are there any resources you can recommend for the whole process? Check out [Ali Abdaal's video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acBJsjCqgtM&ab%5Fchannel=AliAbdaal&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about the basics of building a website in 2021\. My biggest piece of advice is to put the writing first. When you're starting out, don't worry about anything that is not the writing. It will take many weeks or months of trial and error until you settle into the routine/style/tone that works for you, so focus on making the writing as good as you can before you concern yourself with anything else. That means that Substack is a good starting platform for most people. > While certainly not an important aspect, how would one monetise an anonymous blog – can you get ads etc? I notice your LoG blog doesn’t have ads – is that important to you? There are really three approaches to making money through blogging: 1. Your blog is a promotional tool for your business, e.g. public speakers whose blogs act as a marketing tool to get people to book speaking gigs with them, authors who blog to encourage readers to buy their books, etc. 2. You explicitly monetise all the eyeballs you get onto your blog by making a commission on products you recommend (affiliate marketing), selling ad space, or getting paid to do sponsored content. As a reader of blogs, I don't like it when bloggers do this, because it makes me trust the content less, so I choose not to do it to my own readers. No shade to bloggers who do this, though, everybody's got to make their bread. It *is* possible to sell ads and do affiliate marketing as an anonymous blogger, yes, but I'm not sure it's worth it. Last time I looked into this, I read that 1,000 visitors translates to about $1 through Google Adsense, for instance. 3. Patronage or membership models, where people pay you outright for your content, or just to support you. To be perfectly honest, it's extremely hard to make any reasonable amounts of money from tactic 2 or 3, and tactic 1 needs a whole separate business behind the blog. Don't start a blog because you're dreaming of fame and fortune :) You mentioned that your main goal in starting a blog is an emotional one. Personally, I have found blogging a brilliant tool to help me process my own thoughts and feelings. It allows me to connect with (and help) other people who might be going through the same things I am, and it provides me with an invaluable sense of purpose. I do make some money from this blog through strategies 1 and 3, but I would continue blogging even if I didn't. > Is there an ideal length or structure for a blog? It depends what your goals are. If your blog is a business, there is a ton of data on ideal article lengths and publishing schedules (e.g. apparently posting at least once a week makes a huge difference). If you care about that stuff, just have a Google, you'll uncover loads. If you don't care about that stuff, and the blog is mostly for you and other people going through what you're going through, just write what you want to write. There are no rules for writing. It can be helpful to find a blog that's doing what you hope to be doing, and just imitate them until you figure out your own way. > How would I get it “noticed”? - Write the best articles you can. - Ask your readers to share your articles with other people who might get value from them. - Post links to communities that might find your content useful (but be a good citizen of those communities, not a spammer). Reddit, for instance, will let you join discussions amongst groups going through what you're going through, and also remain anonymous. - Consider taking an online course in search engine optimisation. - Build an email database. - Do collabs with other bloggers. - Be helpful. Be kind. Ask for help when you need it. - Most of all, be patient & consistent. It takes time. Personally, I have not found social media to be worth it, but it does work for some people. I hope that helps. Wishing you luck! Best Sam ### I remember Shawn Michaels, the Heartbreak Kid URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/i-remember/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:39:42.000Z Hello, grownups! Back in 1970, a poet and artist named Joe Brainard published a memoir called *[I Remember](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1058074.I%5FRemember?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*. It's a disarmingly simple format, a collection of over 1,000 memories that all start with the refrain "I remember..." > I remember when a kid told me that those sour clover-like leaves we used to eat (with little yellow flowers) tasted so sour because dogs peed on them. I remember that didn’t stop me from eating them. It's surprisingly moving. The memories skid from general nostalgia ("I remember sack dresses") to the deeply intimate ("I remember once when I made scratches on my face with my fingernails so people would ask me what happened, and I would say a cat did it, and, of course, they would know that a cat did not do it."). They leap from theme to theme, the repeated"I remember" almost like an incantation evoking this collage portrait of a life. *I Remember* still has a cult following today, and it's inspired many homages (my favourite: Denis Hirson's *[I Remember King Kong (the Boxer)](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1109332.I%5FRemember%5FKing%5FKong?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, a portrait of white South African childhood between 1950-1970). It also makes for an extremely fun journalling prompt! Brains never stop amazing me. They're squidgy hunks of fat and water that somehow manage to hallucinate a whole person. Quite remarkable, really. Think of a dish from your childhood. Like, for me, every year on my birthday, my grandmother would make me a date loaf (I despised regular cakes). I can recollect that date loaf in perfect detail: the spicy smell, the gooey sweetness, the crunchy crust. I can remember my grandmother's hands as she hand-mixed the dough, fingers twisted into bent claws from arthritis, how her fingers would ache afterwards, how she'd sit on the couch letting me rub blue camphor gel into her knuckles to ease her pain. How she made me a date loaf every year, despite the pain it cost her. That memory of date loaf isn't stored in a specific "shelf" in my brain, like the memory orbs from *Inside Out*. There's not a specific neural circuit you could point to and say, "there it is, Nana's date loaf!" A number of different parts of my brain are involved in remembering: my visual cortex reminds me what it looked like, my olfactory centre recalls the smell, other neural networks remind me of the emotions associated with it and some general knowledge I have about how baking works. A memory is an action, not an object. A memory is like sheet music for an orchestra: your amygdala and hippocampus are the conductors, but to be remembered, the whole orchestra of your brain must work together to *play* that memory. > "The brain is not an album in which memories are stored discretely like unchanging photographs. A memory is, instead, in the phrase of the psycholoogist Daniel L. Schachter, a 'temporary constellation' of activity - a necssarily approximate excitation of neural circuits that bind a set of sensory images and semantic data into the momentary sensation of a remembered whole." - Jonathan Franzen So memory is a form of time travel. When you remember something, you're re-living it. Imperfectly, sure, but it's still quite remarkable for a lump of fat in your skull. Some memories are triggered automatically. Often, sadly, awful ones: one of the worst symptoms of PTSD are vivid intrusive memories that keep replaying in your mind against your will. Smell can be a powerful memory trigger, probably because of your olfactory bulb's physical location in your brain, right next to the amygdala and hippocampus. But many things can trigger memories: sounds, places, people. It's like if the oboe suddenly starts playing a song, the rest of the instruments want to join in and complete it. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/08/image-8.png) Memory systems and where they are found in the brain (from Neuroscience Online, modified from Squire and Knowlton, 1994) Every time you replay a memory, you reinforce it on a physical level, strengthening the connections between that constellation of neurons. You forget the vast majority of stuff that happens to you, it's only a rare set of episodes and facts about your life that remain. Every family develops a repertoire of stories they tell and retell about the past. *That time your brother vomited all over your favourite stuffed moose on a car ride to visit your uncle. That time auntie Gladys got too drunk at cousin Mo's wedding and knocked the wedding cake over.* You choose to retell specific stories because they support some view you have of the world, or of who you are and who other people are. And over time, your stories become your autobiography. But it's not often that we sit down and just give ourselves time and space to wander through our own memories, and see what less-well remembered stories we find there. Other potential insights into who we are, the experiences that shaped us, and the bizarre shit we got up to as children. I tried an "I remember" exercise this morning, and realised I'd completely forgotten how much of a shit I was to my poor sweet younger brother. I highly recommend taking and try an "I remember" exercise of your own. I think you'll be amazed at what rattles loose from your brain. Wishing you date loaf! Sam \-- **I remember Shawn Michaels the Heartbreak Kid - some memories from Primary School** I remember that I thought my next-door neighbour Bryan was a really weird kid but I pretended to be friends with him because he owned a Sega Mega Drive and the Lion King game. I remember waking up before sunrise to watch the WWF Royal Rumble with my grandmother. We both agreed that Shawn Michaels the Heartbreak Kid was the most beautiful man on the planet. Whenever the Undertaker came on she’d make the sign of the cross because he’d been resurrected by his brother Cain. I remember bringing my dad’s Wilbur Smith novels into school and reading the naughty bits out loud to the other kids at aftercare. I remember wandering around our lush Durban jungly garden in my bright pink dungarees that had pockets so deep they went all the way down to my knees, and filling my pockets with pretty stones and grasshoppers. I remember there was a rule at school that if the temperature hit 40 degrees Celcius we were allowed to go home. Most of our classes were in these prefab containers with terrible ventilation. I remember that many teachers kept a thermometer on their walls and on midsummer days we'd stare at the thermometer begging it to crawl up from a stubborn 38. I remember that my friend Chantelle was the first girl I knew who got her period. We’d all been sitting on the ground during break and she stood up and there was just this awful red mess on the back of her skirt. They sent her home with a jersey tied around her waist. I remember that I took my jersey into school every day after that, throughout balmy Durban summer, just in case. I remember that there were rules about what colour panties you were allowed to wear to school (white or green, the school colours). I remember being too scared to play Duke Nukem alone so I made my little brother sit next to me while I played it, but I made him close his eyes whenever we went into the strip clubs. I remember bragging to my friends about how good I was at the Encarta Encyclopedia game and thinking that this made me an extremely big deal. I remember one swimming gala where I had to compete in backstroke, and I felt my head hit the wall after just a few seconds and I felt so proud of myself until I looked up and realised I'd swum so skew I'd gone across two other lanes and hit the side wall only halfway up the pool. I remember there being a big fuss one P.E. swim class and afterwards in the change rooms all the other girls saying that Gareth J. had had a boner. I pretended I saw it too. I remember that night asking my mom what a boner was. I remember that we weren’t allowed to play too close to the fence in case we were kidnapped by a passerby and sold for muti. Based on the number of times my mom warned us about this I assumed this was something that happened to kids, like, all the time. I remember cheating on a spelling test by writing the words under the loose spine cover of a thick hardcover book. I remember that book was *The Bedtime Book of Bible Stories*. I remember that same book had this one story called "Jesus Understood" about a kid who was dying of cancer and he was in a lot of pain so one night he propped his arm up in some pillows when he went to sleep, as a way to tell Jesus he was ready to die, and Jesus took him to heaven that night. And I remember being absolutely petrified to fall asleep for weeks after reading that story in case my arm somehow propped itself up on some cushions and Jesus murdered me. I remember that my favourite sweets from the tuckshop were these black jawbreakers that we called "nikka balls". We had no inkling of any other name for them. I remember that my only awareness about the end of Apartheid is that there were Black kids at my school now, and how everyone wanted to be friends with them because they knew better skipping games than we did. I remember being obsessed with Slammers, these small cardboard disks you got in the bottom of bags of Simba chips. I remember when every single person had a Tamagotchi. We couldn't afford the real ones so my mom got me a Dinopet instead, which I felt at the time was the worst thing any mother had ever done to her child. I remember finding a dead bird in the garden and sobbing about it, and throwing that bird a complex bird funeral and burying him in a pretty spot near the fishpond. I remember forgetting that I'd buried the bird there, and months later digging in that same spot to build a sand castle and unearthing its half-rotten skeleton. I remember one birthday I desperately wanted to watch the movie *Scream*. My mom called all the other mothers first to get their permission. We made a big Christmas bed in the lounge and had five other girls sleep over. In the middle of the movie, there was a scraping noise, and we looked up to see my dad in a Scream mask tapping on the window with a plastic scyth, and we all screamed and grabbed each other, and then my friend Melissa started crying, and we realised she'd peed herself. I remember feeling very anxious about trading marbles because I had no sense of the proper exchange rate of different marble types and I always felt like I was getting swindled. I remember digging a tunnel through the soil to my brother, and the thrill of our fingers touching through the earth when we broke through. I remember how much trouble I got into for daring my brother to play with the Bird’s Eye chilli bush that grew in our garden, and then he went inside and tried to pee. I remember my brother got a birthday cake one year with action figure WWF wrestlers on it and I was so jealous I made a secret tiny cut into it before he saw it, so he wouldn’t get his wish. I remember stealing my brother’s Shawn Michael action figure so that my Barbies could take turns marrying him. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/08/image-6.png) ### Mistakes, catastrophes, and the climate crisis URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/mistakes/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:40:05.000Z Hello, grownups! Most of us have the luxury of our mistakes not mattering very much. Say - and this is a totally made-up story and definitely not something that I did at my first grownup office job - you send an email to a colleague complaining that your boss is making you work late just because SHE doesn't have a life... and you accidentally CC your boss on that email. Whoops! Definitely a bad day for you, but ultimately not something that's going to alter the course of history. Luckily, this hypothetical-person-definitely-not-21-year-old-me didn't have any real responsibility, so the plentiful mistakes she made didn't really matter. Their consequences were felt by her, sure, but no-one else. They were mistakes, but not catastrophes. Although, of course, the more responsibility you have, the more your errors matter. \-- It's hard to think of many individuals who had more personal responsibility in the 20th century than Mao Zedong. Between 1949 and 1976, he maintained almost complete control over a country of 900-million people. On that scale, his mistakes really mattered. Mao's overarching goal as leader of the People's Republic of China was to modernize the country. Before he took over, the economy was poor and made up largely of feudal system of small-scale rural farming, and he wanted China to become an industrialized world power. He did this through a series of Five-Year Plans. The first one, supported by the Soviet Union, went pretty well: it laid a solid foundation for a number of industries, like manufacturing steel and cement, and the national income grew at 9% a year between 1952-1957\. Awesome! So, there was plenty of enthusiasm to try another one. The second Five-Year Plan was nicknamed the Great Leap Forward. The plan was to continue to expand heavy industry and bring more property into collective ownership, and also to improve the living standards across China. One of his core goals was to improve public health through the rollout of a mass vaccination campaign, and by eradicating the vermin that spread disease. Seems - intuitively - like a great idea, right? Always one to understand the power of pithy messaging, Mao packaged this plan into a campaign against the "Four Pests": flies, mosquitos, rats, and sparrows. Posters were put up all around the country encouraging families (especially children) to destroy as many of them as possible. Bounties were offered for villages that produced more pest carcasses than their neighbours. These animals were labelled "enemies of the Chinese people", and citizens were told that killing them was no less than their patriotic duty. Sparrows, by the way, were included not because they spread disease, but because they impact agricultural yields by eating grains. One party official is recorded saying that "birds are public animals of capitalism" - I kid you not! ![Propaganda poster showing a mosquito, fly, sparrow and rat impaled by a sword](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/08/image-4.png) Over 20 million kilograms of mosquitos and flies were killed, 1.5 billion rats, and 1 billion sparrows. The campaign was wildly successful. The campaign was *too* successful. Because sparrows don't just eat grain. They also eat insects. Insects like locusts. In the first year of the campaign, food yields did - indeed - increase slightly, because sparrows weren't nibbling the grain. But in the second year, with no predators, the population of locusts *exploded*. Grain yields plummeted. And over the next three years, somewhere between 20-45-million people starved to death. \-- Here's the thing about mistakes: usually, a mistake is not a catastrophe. Mao and other party leaders made a mistake when they thought killing sparrows would improve the quality of life for their citizens. But the famine was not **only** caused by the Four Pests campaign; it was caused by the whole political system around it. The 1950s was a **terrifying** time to be in politics in China. It was the beginning of a movement called the Anti-Rightist Campaign, an attempt to purge any ideological traitors from the government. Anyone whose beliefs were considered too capitalist, too individualist, or in any way **critical of the state**... risked being accused of being a "Rightist" and publicly humiliated, sent to a labour camp, or executed. In just 1957, nearly 300,000 people were persecuted as Rightists. This is not the kind of environment that encourages people to speak up when things are going wrong. Some people tried, anyway. Ornithologist [Tso-hsin Cheng](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tso-hsin%5FCheng?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), for instance, warned that the sparrow campaign was a bad idea, and was rewarded for his efforts by being kept in isolation in a cowshed for six months. So put yourself in the shoes of a local government administrator. The central authorities have give you a target of grain to produce, and they've told you about a number of wonderful shiny new farming practices to reach that target. These farming practices involve untested ideas from the Soviet Union, like planting crops very close together because the same types of plants can't compete with each other (they can) and ploughing more deeply into the ground (which doesn't work in the types of soil more common in China). And then, imagine that your crops fail. Utterly fail. The shiny farming methods are duds, and half of what you do manage to grow is devoured by locusts. You're also just unlucky, and get hammered by unusually bad droughts and floods that year. You don't know that this is happening all around China, of course, because nobody else is being honest about their struggles, either. And now you have to submit a report to the central planning committee, who are all mega-jazzed about their hot new farming innovations and clever sparrow extermination policy. And you know exactly what happens to people who displease them. So, what are you going to do? You're going to lie. You're going to say that you hit your grain targets. And then, because **your** superiors also know what happens to insufficiently loyal politicians, they're going to lie too, and inflate the numbers even more. And **their** superiors are going to lie. Until you get all the way to the central planning committee, looking at the reported grain yields, thinking *sweet! We've got so much extra grain.* ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/08/image-2-1.png) A staged propaganda photo of four children standing on what *appears to be* a thick field of wheat So, here's the truly sad part of the story: central planners distributed food to the areas that - on paper - needed it the most. So they collected food from starving farmers and redistributed it to urban areas, where there already was enough food. They diverted more land away from food production, and told people to grow inedible crops like cotton, or sent more farmers to work in iron and steel production. And between 1958-1960, China **exported** a substantial amount of grain. Now, it’s actually hotly contested amongst historians how much Mao actually knew about the famine. There are plenty of stories about local officials putting on elaborate shows to pretend that everything was fine. For instance, when Mao visited Henan province in 1958, local officials got farmers to remove shoots of grain from fields all around the area and transplant them all into a single field to show Mao what appeared to be a bumper crop of wheat. It was political suicide to say anything about the famine, lest you be seen as a traitor to the cause, and officials spread conspiracy theories about how peasants were just *pretending to be hungry* to sabotage the country's progress. But, there are other sources that suggest Mao might have known, and accepted the deaths of millions of people as a “you’ve got to break some eggs to make an omelette” sort of thing, and kept exporting grain and refusing foreign aid in order to save face. Hard to know for sure, either way. \-- ![Propaganda poster of children swatting flies](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/08/image-5.png) Eventually, Mao’s party realised that killing sparrows hadn’t been a great idea. Sparrows were quietly subbed out for bed bugs as one of the Four Pests. Thousands of sparrows were imported from the Soviet Union. But it was too late, and the damage had been done. Yu Dehong, the secretary of a party official, wrote in 1959: > I went to one village and saw 100 corpses, then another village and another 100 corpses. No one paid attention to them. People said that dogs were eating the bodies. Not true, I said. The dogs had long ago been eaten by the people. 20-45-million people starved to death. By the end, some of them ate each other. \-- The Four Pests campaign was a mistake that became a catastrophe. It became a catastrophe because all the systems that should have identified the mistake, and then allowed it to correct, failed. The mistake was scientific, but the catastrophe was political. Anyway, I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently, because the climate emergency is going to trigger a lot of crises over the coming decades. More wildfires, more floods, more droughts, more pandemics. We need to invest in **adaptation** and start thinking about how we’re going to make our communities more resilient to these crises. And the only thing that can stop those crises from becoming catastrophes is **stronger political systems.** How do we build those? I dunno, friends! I’m just a person who writes stories and thinks way too much about *Buffy the Vampire Slayer*. I suspect that the answer will look different depending who you are, where you are, and what work you like doing. I recently came across a toolkit called [“Actions Against Climate Breakdown”](https://jksteinberger.medium.com/an-audacious-toolkit-actions-against-climate-breakdown-part-1-a-is-for-advocacy-7baa108f00e9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) that had some pretty good ideas. But it’s an important job, and it needs all of us. It needs you. Wishing you non-catastrophic mistakes, Sam --- There’s a good summary of the Four Pests campaign in the *Power Corrupts* episode [“Catastrophic Miscalculations”](https://www.powercorruptspodcast.com/episodes?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#/catastrophic-miscalculations/), including a quite odd story about sparrows hiding out at the Polish embassy. There were many causes of the Great Chinese Famine, not only the Four Pests Campaign. Mao is such a controversial figure, venerated by some and demonised by others, that it can be difficult to find sources that feel objective. I’ve based this piece on a few books and articles but I don’t feel like I can full-throatedly recommend any of them. Happy to chat over email, though, if any history nerds are reading this and want to interrogate/discuss/recommend anything. If you’d like a soundtrack while reading this piece and get hype about a coloratura soprano, may I recommend Kathleen Kim’s performance of “I am the wife of Mao Tse-tung” from John Adams’ opera *Nixon in China*? It SLAPS. ### Updates from Sam-land - Simon Dingle and I recorded an extremely silly episode of [Take Back the Day](https://www.takebacktheday.co/61?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), discussing Veblen goods and other garbage we spend money on. - Another podcast episode: along with my Survive the Century co-creator Simon Nicholson, I had a fun interview on [Stories for Earth](https://storiesforearth.com/2021/08/03/interview-survive-the-century/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about how video games can be used as a tool for climate communication, why finding good coverage of climate news can be so tricky, and why it’s more important than ever before to not give into nihilism. Simon is a political scientist who thinks A LOT about the political dimension of responding to the climate emergency, so it’s a good companion to this piece. The best, best thing about writing these newsletters are the things readers send me in response. I had COMPLETELY UNDERESTIMATED how many of you are note-taking nerrrrrrrrrds because so many of you sent me brilliant suggestions in response to last week’s post about [commonplace books](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/commonplace-books/). A special thanks/FUCK YOU 😘 to Jess, who sent me down the rabbit hole of all rabbit holes reading about [Tiago Forte’s](https://maggieappleton.com/basb?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) note-taking methodology (summarised there by Maggie Appleton) and finally got me to start using [Roam Research](https://roamresearch.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). I’ll probably need to send out another update about this soon. Hope you're enjoying the last of summer/winter, wherever you are! xx ### Commonplace books URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/commonplace-books/ Last updated: 2021-07-30T12:55:14.000Z > "The impulse to write things down is a peculiarly compulsive one, inexplicable to those who do not share it, useful only accidentally, only secondarily, in the way that any compulsion tries to justify itself." - Joan Didion Hello, grownups! As a teenager, I had this Harry Potter-branded notebook that I collected quotes in. I was paging through it this morning and it's an adorable window into the things teen Sam found deep, including: - Passages from *1984* and *Animal Farm* by George Orwell - because you know, like, all politicians are liars, man - Poems by ee cummings, Sylvia Plath and William Carlos Williams - Song lyrics from Rob Zombie, Bob Dylan, Radiohead, Patti Smith, but also more than one song from \*mumbles\* the Dave Matthews Band \*mumbles\* - Out-of-context quotes by Mandela, Gandhi, the Dalai Lama, and Winnie the Pooh - Elvish Tolkien songs written out in Tengwar script, and no, I did not have a boyfriend, how did you guess? - FOUR PAGES devoted to M. Z. Bradley's *The Mists of Avalon* - So. Much. Nietzche. - Jokes from *Absolutely Fabulous* next to passages from *The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam* - An honestly obscene number of quotes from the 2001 Baz Luhrmann movie, *Moulin Rouge* There's a term for this kind of project: it's a **commonplace book**. A commonplace book is like a scrapbook for ideas; a compilation of quotes, factoids, drawings or insights you find interesting. Usually, there's some way of indexing the topics inside, or organising around themes (like maintaining different notebooks for different themes). They're more like a personal database than like a diary. They might include personal musings on a topic, but usually in some kind of structured or organised way, and often in response to information collected from other texts. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/07/image-12.png) A page from C. S. Lewis's commonplace book, with information about plants, the alphabet, currency. Essentially, a commonplace book is a compilation of things you find interesting. Think of it as your personal "greatest hits" playlist of ideas. Most of us keep commonplace books of some type. Family recipe books, for instance. Lists of movies you want to see, or notes on skills you've learned. Famous thinkers who kept commonplace books include Mark Twain, C. S. Lewis, W. H. Auden, Virgina Woolf, and Ronald Raegan. Marcus Aurelius's *Meditations* stared as a commonplace book. [John Locke even wrote a whole book about making commonplace books.](https://iiif.lib.harvard.edu/manifests/view/drs:13925922$5i?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Meta! ![a handwritten recipe card for barbeque sauce, covered in sauce stains](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/07/image-14.png) The family recipe book is a popular type of commonplace book > **Let us take down one of those old notebooks which we have all, at one time or another, had a passion for beginning. . . . Here we have written down the names of great writers in their order of merit; here we have copied out fine passages from the classics; here are lists of books to be read; and here, most interesting of all, lists of books that have actually been read, as the reader testifies with some youthful vanity by a dash of red ink. (Virginia Woolf, [“Hours in a Library”](http://www.amazon.com/Hours-library-Virginia-Woolf/dp/B0007DW7OM/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ll1&tag=critimargi-20&linkId=47ec347788d66c4166106d1294c2b4b0&ref=sambeckbessinger.com))* People have made commonplace books for as long as we've made books. In Medieval Europe, they were sometimes called the **florilegium** (Latin for "a gathering of flowers" - how lovely). Thomas of Ireland wrote a famous one called the *Manipulus Florumi*, which contained over 6,000 extracts from books in the library of the Sorbonne in Paris, organised by theme. Imagine how powerful that would have been in a time when a single book was worth more than most people's homes! Over 200 hand-copies of it were made, mostly used by clergy looking for quotes relating to subjects they wanted to preach about in their sermons. Commonplacing was formally taught at universities in the 17th century, and all undergrads were required to keep them. But it was a practice that was even more important for people locked out of formal universities, [like women](https://www.mindsunderground.com/female-writers-thinkers/female-intellectual-rebellion?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), who would record their reading, thoughts and ideas - and then crucially, *share them*. That's another of the major differences between commonplace books and diaries: diaries are usually personal, while commonplace books occupy a space somewhere between the private and the public. You're saying something to the world about who you are, in the ideas you choose to collect. Dr Juliet Shields makes the argument that [commonplace books were like an early form of social media](https://www.nls.uk/events/audio-recordings/commonplace-books/transcript/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), allowing people to "construct their identities through bricolage or selective appropriation, like highly evolved magpies". And indeed, many of us use social media as a form of commonplacing today, collecting and commenting on the articles and videos we find most compelling, and saying something about ourselves in what we choose to highlight. But I believe there's a lot of value in maintaining more organised and private commonplace books too (whether digital or analogue), where we can develop our personal libraries of ideas that can help us in doing the work we choose to do, and living the kind of lives we value. Obviously, the most obvious benefit of some kind of commonplace book is that can help you **find stuff later**.As John Locke said: "it would be of little purpose to spend our time in reading of books, if we could not apply what we read to our use... It is an old saying, that that is the truest poverty, when if you have an occasion for any thing, you can't use it, because you know not where 'tis laid." And anyone who's ever spent thirty minutes trying to Google some obscure blog post they read several months ago knows how frustrating it is to mislay something **in the bloody internet.** ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/07/image-9.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/07/image-10.png) Reddit user [romanov89in](https://www.reddit.com/r/Notion/comments/fxxd17/trying%5Fto%5Fcreate%5Fa%5Fcommonplace%5Fbook%5Fhow%5Fdo%5Fyou/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)'s commonplace book in the free webapp Notion When Thomas of Ireland wrote the *Manipulus Florumi*, it was valuable because books were so **expensive.** Now, commonplace books matter because information is **so** **damn cheap**. There are more blogs/podcasts/books/videos/articles than you could get through in a thousand lifetimes, and you consume many more of them each day than you're able to really absorb. So finding the gems matters so much more. This is why I like physical commonplace books, even though they're obviously inferior in many ways (e.g. a lack of search): the act of copying something out by hand slows down my thinking and forces me to think more deeply about it. Writing something out also means I'm more likely to *remember it.* ![It is not the number of books you read... but it is the frequency and earnestness with which you meditate on these things till the truth in them becomes your own and part of your being, that ensures your growth. Frederick W. Robertson](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/07/image-17.png) As I wrote in my own teenage quote book... For me, one of the greatest delights of a commonplace book is how it can reveal your own interests to you. To be useful, a commonplace book needs a layer of **organisation**. This might involve #tags, folders, colour-coding, an index of keywords, separate books, whatever. Over time, it can be fascinating to discover the topics you keep returning to, the questions that draw you back throughout your life, the sections of your own personal Dewy Decimal System, the rooms inside your mind palace. The only thing that has to connect the stuff you collect is that **you find it interesting**. So much creativity comes from the collision of our interests. [Steve Jobs credits a random calligraphy course](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF8uR6Z6KLc&ab%5Fchannel=Stanford&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) as having been essential to the success of the first Macintosh computer. The constellation of your quirks is who you are, and it can be the source of the unique contributions you can make to the world. Creating a commonplace book helps you to see what they are. [John Milton'](https://www.bl.uk/collection-items/john-miltons-commonplace-book?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)s commonplace books were organised into three sections: ethics, economics and politics, but yours probably won't be. Maybe yours are German reggae, artificial intelligence, pugs, and facts about the movie *Moulin Rouge*, but I BET there's some unique wisdom to be contributed to the world in the intersection of those things. ## Starting your own commonplace book You probably have a personal database of some kind already, whether it's a folder of PDFs on your laptop, a pile of notebooks, a Whatsapp chat history where you send a friend interesting links, or a notes app on your phone. **What small changes could you make to allow your system work harder for you?** - Maybe it's more deliberately collecting your notes into a central place? For instance, I use [Bear](https://bear.app/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) as my main digital commonplace book (I like its simple tag-based organisation method rather than folders), and it has a great web clipper that allows me to add web pages at a click. - Maybe it's rediscovering the joys of physical notebooks, by starting a family recipe book or a handwritten book of quotes/inspiration? - Maybe it's building a routine around reviewing, re-reading, and purging your notes? - Maybe it's taking more time to add your own comments and thoughts to what you collect? - Maybe it's getting better at tagging, colour-coding, indexing or otherwise organising your notes? Productivity types like [Ali Abdaal](https://www.notion.vip/notion-tour-with-ali-abdaal-free-template-for-students/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Sam Davies](https://www.samuelthomasdavies.com/notion-commonplace-book/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) both swear by an app called Notion, if you like a very ORGANISED tool. Ryan Holiday has a very [impressive-looking notecard system](https://ryanholiday.net/the-notecard-system-the-key-for-remembering-organizing-and-using-everything-you-read/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) if analogue's more your jam. - Maybe it's publishing more of your commonplace book? For instance, [Bill Gates keeps a blog](https://www.gatesnotes.com/Books?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) where he writes short reflections on the books he reads. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/07/image-13.png) Ryan Holiday's notecard commonplace book Whoever you are, figuring out how to wrangle the thoughts in your own delightfully weird brain is one of the most important tasks of your lifetime. > "Look, my commonplace book is easily justified. I write and speak about things for a living. I need this resource. But so do you. You write papers, memos, emails, notes to friends, birthday cards, give advice, have conversations at dinner, console loved ones, tell someone special how you feel about them. All these are opportunities to use the wisdom you have come across and recorded–to improve what you’re doing with knowledge passed down through history." - Ryan Holiday*, who has [a great blog post about how and why to keep a commonplace book](https://thoughtcatalog.com/ryan-holiday/2013/08/how-and-why-to-keep-a-commonplace-book/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* And just remember, friends, as teenage Sam apparently thought was SO DAMN DEEP: the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. 🤮 xx S ## Updates from Sam-Land - English summer continues to be glorious. I've been working on a script for a TV show pilot, writing some children's stories for Cambridge University Press, and about to go into another round of edits on *Magpies* (the novel I wrote with Dale Halvorsen), but I'm also just trying to spend as much time outside as possible, and living in DEEP DENIAL about the fact that summer will ever end. - Please drop what you're doing and watch the hilarious, delightful show *[We Are Lady Parts](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPqzoAjxvl4&ab%5Fchannel=Peacock&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* about a female Muslim punk band in London. - Some books I've enjoyed recently: *[Madness: Stories of Uncertainty and Hope ](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/53027017-madness?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=gUCxPDgd7O&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*[by Sean Baumann](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/53027017-madness?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=gUCxPDgd7O&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (powerful reflections on schizophrenia by a psychiatrist who worked at Valkeberg Hospital for 25 years). *[The Echo Wife ](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52379735-the-echo-wife??ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*[by Sarah Gailey](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52379735-the-echo-wife??ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (a woman's ex-husband makes a subservient clone version of her - trouble ensues). [*The Knife of Never Letting Go* by Patrick Ness](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20758104-the-knife-of-never-letting-go?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (sci-fi coming-of-age story about a boy who grew up in a town of only men). [*Open Borders: the Science and Ethics of Immigration* by Bryan Caplan](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/42867903-open-borders?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=ouUn9BEsWL&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (an economist's argument for unrestricted immigration, in comic book form). [*Mermaid Fillet* by Mia Arderne](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/54833272-mermaid-fillet?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (an explosive Cape Town noir unlike anything I've ever read). ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/07/image-16.png) Mushrooms in the Hackney Marshes ### Not somewhere else, but here URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/not-somewhere-else-but-here/ Last updated: 2021-07-23T15:18:26.000Z January 2020\. I'm at the airport about to fly to England. My best friend's eyes are bloodshot, but she's holding it together for my sake. The past few days have been a blur of admin, getting rid of the last of my stuff, saying goodbyes, a frantic last-minute drive to the state vet on the other side of town to finalise the cat's travel paperwork. She's been at my side the whole time, both of us trying to stay too busy to be sad. Now, she hands me my backpack, and there's nothing more to be done except to board the plane. So we just hug each other. "It's just a few months," I reassure her, and myself. "I'll see you so soon." We chose England because it's just an overnight flight away from South Africa, and we always intended to maintain homes in both places. I still have a business in Cape Town, my family and my friend-family are still there, as are my writing partners - the two other pieces of my brain. I promised my mother I'd be home often, every six months at *least*. She already lived in Pretoria while I lived in Cape Town, so we'd had practice at living apart. "Honestly, I don't think I'm going to see you much less often than I do now," I said. My partner and I had already scheduled our first visit home, six months in, so that when things were hard in the first few dark cold lonely months, we'd have something to look forward to. And then - to steal a phrase from Bo Burnham - [the funniest thing happened](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Rx%5Fp3NW7gQ&ab%5Fchannel=boburnham&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). \-- When I was younger, I had this idea that I wanted to be a citizen of the world. I wanted to live in as many countries as possible. Travelling expands your worldview, I thought, so moving around all the time must make you WISE. Most people fall into the trap of making their happiness contingent on something. *I'll be happy once I get a promotion*, or *I'll be happy once I change my body*, or *I'll be happy once I'm in the right relationship*. For me, it's that at many times in my life, I've believed I'll be happy once I move somewhere else. That restlessness has taken me from Durban to Pretoria to Cape Town to Joburg to London to San Francisco to Cape Town again, and now to Cambridge. I'm an idiot and I never learn, so I'm currently thinking of moving to London again, or maybe Bristol. Moving to Bristol will solve all my problems, friends! For real, this time! I've been asked the question "where are you from?" throughout my life, and the answer is never stable, but has usually been "from somewhere else". When I lived in Pretoria, I said I was from Durban; when I lived in Joburg, I said I was from Pretoria; when I lived in the UK and America, I normally said I was from South Africa, although in the case of one spectacularly ignorant American I once met in D.C., I then had to clarify that South Africa is a country, not a region of a country called Africa (I really met one! In the wild!). "Where are you from?" is a question of geography, but also of identity. I've felt so much more South African since leaving it, so much more aware of the ways that I am shaped by where I have lived. I'm South African, because I have discovered that I'm *really* not British. I grew up speaking English and reading Enid Blyton and Harry Potter and Beatrix Potter, so I fooled myself into thinking the culture shock would be minimal. BOY was I wrong. This nation is adorable, but FOREIGN. Their snacks are absurd. It's a law that every household must own at least one set of crockery with twee woodland creatures painted on it. Complete strangers call you "luvvie" and "darling" and "sweetpea". The default emotion is embarrassment. And you have never met a people more utterly obsessed with growing flowers: even in the strictest lockdowns, the three types of shops that were allowed to stay open were grocery stores, pharmacies, and garden centres. I have felt myself being more South African in response. To my own bewilderment, I've become that stereotypical white Saffer who has a reserve stash of rusks in my kitchen, and gets misty-eyed listening to Rodriguez. You do these things to hold onto a part of you that has been lost, the bits of your identity that feel erased. \-- Just over a week ago, the night of the Euro finals. We've been invited to watch the game with some Brits, which we take as a huge honour. "It's our real citizenship exam," I joke with my partner. The mood is merry. We set up a projector in my friend Dave's living room and seven of us squeeze in together around the couch. Half of the people in the room have already received their second Pfizer vaccine. It's still a thrill to be hanging out with other people, *inside*. The sense that it's not the *end* of Covid, but it's at least the beginning of the end. We're drinking, joking, cheering on the team. I'm trying to be present. But I can't stay off my phone. "I'm sorry to be rude, but there's... something happening back home," I eventually say, doomscrolling through Twitter. My friends are sweet, they press for details, ask if everything's okay. I try to explain, but how do you explain South Africa? I don't even know what's happening yet, myself. I don't want to be alarmist or to say something as blunt as "my mother lives just a few kilometers away from one of the shopping centres that is being targeted, and I don't know yet how explosive this violence may get, and I'm afraid for her." I don't want to bring the mood down. I tell them there are protests about our ex-president being arrested, which is already a wildly insufficient explanation of what's happening. We get back to the game, while I live simultaneously in two worlds, the one on my phone where it feels like my home is burning, and the joyful one on the couch around me. Over the next few days, the gap between here and there widens. I eat strawberries and cream in a park with some friends, joking about throwing a Terry Pratchett party in one of the colleges. I'm texting my sister in KZN to make sure she and my nieces are still safe. I'm cycling through a balmy summer's night, 10pm, alone, after watching an outdoor performance of [*The Merry Wives of Windsor*](https://cambridgeshakespeare.com/programme/the-merry-wives-of-windsor/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). A friend tells me she had to evacuate the hospital in Soweto where she works after there were gunshots in the area, and her main concern is for the patients she had to send away. I'm swimming in the river Cam, enjoying the squishy dark mud between my toes. I'm on Zoom, trying to find words to comfort a friend who lost someone in the taxi shootings in Cape Town, until loadshedding kicks in takes her internet connection down. I go hiking in the Peak District with some South African friends. The group chat is 50% logistics for the hike, and 50% sharing articles trying to decipher what the hell is actually happening back home. The words we use shift throughout the conversation. It's an uprising. It's sabotage. It's looting. It's despair. It's a coup. It's a joyous release from the pressure valve of the lockdowns. It's property redistribution. It's destruction. It's a demonstration being escalated and aggravated by the violent response of the military and racists LARPing a civil war. It's a Third Force. It's about to erupt into Xenophobia. It's actually very controlled and strategic. It's a [food riot](https://www.newframe.com/durban-food-riots-turn-the-wheel-of-history/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It's an [insurrection](https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/article/2021-07-14-under-investigation-twelve-masterminds-planned-and-executed-insurrection-on-social-media-then-lost-control-after-looting-spree/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It's the inevitable result of having [one of the highest rates of unemployment](https://theoutlier.co.za/2021/07/21/81169/unrest-in-sa-joblessness-and-rising-prices-make-a-volatile-mixture/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) in the world (with the expanded definition, about 62%). Media reports are overblown. Media reports are *underblown*. It feels impossible to parse from so far away, but I'm skeptical that it would be easier to understand if we were there. South Africans live in parallel worlds already, all of us. I feel furious at the British people in the streets around me, enjoying #hotvaxsummer, who don't know or care what's happening to my country. I feel guilty for being able to turn off my phone and be one of them, for a while. ![A graph showing the household food basket cost versus minimum wage in South Africa. The cost of a food basket exceeded the minimum wage for the first time in 2020.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/07/image-7.png) One in four South Africans live below the food poverty line of R585/$40 per person per month (the amount needed to afford the minimum required daily energy intake) - from https://theoutlier.co.za/2021/07/21/81169/unrest-in-sa-joblessness-and-rising-prices-make-a-volatile-mixture/ \-- Sometimes, the world feels very small. Last week, I was sitting at my local hipster coffee shop: one of those places that could be anywhere - San Francisco or Sea Point - Scandinavian/industrial decor, overpriced lattes, avo toast, nourish bowls. I was there with my friend Peter, who I met in Joburg, became friends with in Cape Town, and became *real* friends with in London. We were talking about how the TV show *Friends* is the Millennial fantasy where you live across the hall from your five best friends and you hang out every day in the same coffee shop and can also afford inner-city real estate. I could write a whole book about how to make friends in your 30s. But I have no clue how to make friends in your 30s... in the middle of a pandemic. Because I absolutely failed to. Usually, my strategy is to attack difficult emotional problems with GUNG HO and PROACTIVITY, but a good attitude is of limited help when everything is shut and people are rightly scared of breathing the same air as you. Now that things have reopened, I'm finally doing all the things that help: I've signed up for clubs and meetups and sports groups. I've signed up as a volunteer for the local Scouts troop. I'm inviting people round for dinner. But friendship also just *takes time*. You've got to spend enough time in each other's company, ideally doing things together. You've got to learn each other's backstories. I think one of the reasons it becomes harder to make friends as you get older is that there's just more history to catch somebody up on. Those close, all-up-in-each-other's-lives friendships - it's much easier to cultivate them if you stay in one place. Relationship advice columnist [Dan Savage talks about how people drive themselves crazy trying to find the perfect romantic partner](https://speakola.com/ideas/dan-savage-price-of-admission-2010?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): > What’s most important, and a trait of truly successful people, romantically, are realistic expectations. A lot of people have unrealistic expectations. And rather than adjust their expectations, or examine them to see if they’re rational, they end the relationship and head back out there to try and find the perfect partner, the perfect relationship — the one. And I have been railing against that concept for decades. There is no “one.” There is maybe a .67 that you can round up to 1. I've been thinking that maybe choosing where to live is a lot like love: it's less about *finding* the right person, and more important to *build the right relationship together*. Sure, you need to have some basic compatibility and be aligned on the important deal-breakers. But most of the meaning in a relationship comes from the memories you make, how you treat each other, the shared life you build over time. Date a bit and don't just settle down with the first person you meet, of course. But at some point, if you wantto be in a long-term relationship, stop looking for better relationship "raw material", and start actually building that relationship with someone who's good enough. Whether you're talking about flings or holiday destinations, there are things that are exciting and fun for a while but you couldn't live with in the long run. And the corollary: there are joys that you can only find by being deeply embedded in a place and a community, or in being with someone who is familiar with the smell of your farts. I was re-reading Lauren Beukes's *Afterland* the other day, and paused on this: > The geography of home is accidental: where you’re born, where you grow up, the tugs and hooks of what you know and what shaped you. Home is pure chance. But it can also be a choice. It's impossible to rationally choose the best place for you to live. There is no perfect place. There are probably a lot of different places where you could live and be happy. The point is to choose one, and then to build a life there. The grass is greenest where you water it. Belonging is - at least partly - an act of will. It's something you can work at. It's being helpful. Practising citizenship. Speaking the language. Doing the things locals do. Mucking in. Being helpful. Connecting with people. Leaving things better than you found them. Saying you're "from" somewhere is a description of how that place made you, but also about whether you feel like you helped to make that place. \-- December 2020, that's my lowest point. The few friends I've made in Cambridge have retreated back to family homes far away in the panic of the second Covid wave. I feel like I don't exist any more, because not a single person in this town knows me except for my partner. I feel like I've been erased. The inverted seasons are cruel. Here, the sun sets at 4pm and the fact that we can only socialise outside, in the freezing dark, feels like a joke. I've just had to cancel a trip home, for what's now the fourth time. I Zoom friends back home who are going on weekends away together in the height of summer. My friends hesitate before telling me about the fun things they're getting up to, like they're visiting me in hospital. *No,* I say, *tell me every detail of your joys. I have to know that what I left still exists. Even if I'm not there.* I develop an almost hyperactive positivity. *Things really aren't so bad. We've been so lucky compared to so many people.* SometimesI feel like Wile E. Coyote. He knows he's run off the edge of the cliff. He can feel he's run off the edge of the cliff. But he knows that everything will be fine as long as he keeps peddling. As long as he doesn't look down, and acknowledge that he has in fact run off the edge of a cliff and is not just running on ground that has become oddly soft and breezy for some reason, he can avert disaster for just a little longer. \-- It feels churlish to complain about having had a choice that so many people desperately wish for. According to [research done by the World Bank](https://www.worldbank.org/en/news/press-release/2018/06/14/global-migration-can-be-a-potent-tool-in-the-fight-to-end-poverty-across-the-world-new-report?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), the share of migrants in the global population has remained surprisingly stable since 1960, fluctuating between 2.5% and 3.5%. But many more people want to move countries than are able to. [Research by Julie Ray and Neli Esipova](https://news.gallup.com/poll/153182/adults-move-temporary-work-permanently.aspx?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) suggests that nearly 14% of adults worldwide would migrate permanently if they could, and 26% would move temporarily for better work. I am very aware of how lucky I am. I'm white and well-educated and English is my home language. England has welcomed me in a way that it does not welcome everyone. Yes, I feel selfish for leaving. I can only tell you that I wish for everyone the same opportunity and freedom to choose where to live that I have had. \-- Moving countries costs so much more than you think it will, in every way. So you have to have a compelling reason to want to go, and it needs to be something you can hold onto when things get hard. I wrote it down, my list of what I was moving for, and I kept going back to it throughout the last year. It helped. The alternative to moving is to be part of fixing what's wrong where you already are. South Africans, my friend [Jodi Allemeier](https://urbanjodi.substack.com/people/38798289-jodi-allemeier) had some excellent practical suggestions for what that might look like (her whole Substack is brilliant - I highly recommend it). I can't tell you whether you should consider emigrating or not. I can only warn you that it's hard, and it's not a decision to be made lightly. And I can also strongly advise you not to do it during a global pandemic ;) \-- Later, I think we'll all start to tell our Covid stories. None of us have come through this experience unchanged, and I think we'll only really be able to understand what we've been through when we've come out the other end. Here's the biggest way that I have been altered: I want to find a place to settle down and then never move again. Ever. When we first moved, we weren't even sure we wanted to commit to the UK. *We'll just go for a few years,* we thought, *and if we don't like it, we'll try somewhere else, or we'll come home.* Now, I want to bury my feet in cement. I want to chain myself to my radiator. I want to *buy a damn house*, which is not something I've ever felt the slightest desire to do before. There's no part of me that finds the idea of being "a citizen of the world" appealing anymore. Increasingly, it seems to me that being from "everywhere" means you're not from anywhere. My friend Bongani Kona once wrote a short story where he said that the thing about being Zimbabwean is that there's "home", and then there's "home-home". I haven't been home-home in eighteen months. But I'm getting my second vaccine next week, and hoping beyond hope that South Africa comes off the red list soon, so that I can finally go back for that first visit. I'm going to hold my loved ones so bloody tightly. But on Wednesday night, at my first Scouts meeting, I tried something new for the first time. When a kid asked me where I was from, I said, "I'm South African. But I'm from here." Wishing you hope, wherever you are. Sam ![Photograph from a 1974 poem by Adrienne Rich. The text reads: "Trying to learn unteachable lessons. The fugue. Blood in my eyes. The careful sutures. Ripped open. The hands that touch me. Shall it be said. I am not alone. Spilt love. Seeking its level. Flooding other. Lives. That must be lived. Not somewhere else. But here. Seeing through blood. Nothing is lost.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/07/image-8.png) From the Adrienne Rich's poem that has been my mantra this summer, *Not Somewhere Else, But Here* --- ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/07/peaks.jpeg) Hiking in the Peak District again, extremely good! ## Updates from Sam-Land - Simon Nicholson, Christopher Trisos and I wrote an op-ed for *[The Ecologist](https://theecologist.org/2021/jul/22/how-game-system?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* about why storytelling is as important as science when it comes to the climate. - On a similar topic, [this interview with *Grist* about our climate game](https://grist.org/fix/survive-the-century-choose-your-own-adventure-climate-game/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), *Survive the Century* - Whatcha up to **this Sunday** friends? At 1pm UTC, I'm participating in a Zoom panel with the brilliant climate activists at Fridays for Future. Sign up for free here: [fffutu.re/STCxMAPA](http://fffutu.re/STCxMAPA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/07/SoMePosts_STC_1200x1200_2.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/07/STC_insta_1080x1920_2.png) ### What should we do with all the old statues? URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/what-should-we-do-with-all-the-old-statues/ Last updated: 2021-07-02T14:25:22.000Z Hello, grownups! I just got back from a couple of weeks of roadtripping around the UK, getting to know this strange island we've moved to and trying to remember how to do thrilling pre-pandemic things like eat in restaurants and talk to other human beings. My favourite place we visited was Bristol, because it felt like a hybrid of Cape Town and Berlin (my two favourite cities). I particularly liked it because I consider myself **a bit of a statue-toppling enthusiast**, and Bristol just opened an exhibition of their most famous toppled son: Edward Colston. Colston's name is everywhere in Bristol. There are streets named after him, halls, schools, heck, there's even a pastry named after him. Until last year, there was also a honking big bronze statue of him right in the middle of town, and then during the protests that followed the murder of George Floyd, Bristolians pulled it down and yeeted it into the harbour. ![The bronze statue of Edward Colston](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/07/image-2.png) bye, felicia Colston was a sea merchant who traded stuff like wine, fruit and textiles... oh, and people: from 1680 until 1692, he was involved in the transatlantic slave trade as a member of the Royal African Company, the business that sent more African slaves to the Americas than any other. During his time leading the company, it shipped **more than 84,000 African people** to the Americas where they were sold for labour on sugar and tobacco plantations. 19,000 of those people died on the journey. ![a coat of arms featuring two racist depictions of African people, and an elephant in the middle](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/07/image-1.png) the coat of arms of the Royal African Company 🤮 All of this slave trading made Colston fabulously wealthy, and he didn't have any kids, so he donated a lot of that money to charities around Bristol. He set up and supported almshouses, hospitals, Anglican churches and schools. It's estimated that the value of his donations would be worth around £5.5-million today. Predictably, a lot of people got mad when his statue was pulled down. Some said that you can't judge a 17th-century man's actions by the morality of today, some said that bad deeds don't erase the good ones, some said you can't let "howling mobs" destroy public property. Many people said that while they don't condone what Colston did, that you should not take down statues, because to do so is to erase history. But statues have never been about communicating history. They're mythmaking tools, and they tell us much more about the people who put them up than about the people they depict. The story of how Colston's statue went up in the first place is actually a perfect example of that. Edward Colston died in 1721, but the statue wasn't erected until **174 years later**, in 1895\. The original plaque on the base reads that it was **"Erected by citizens of Bristol as a memorial to one of the most virtuous and wise sons of their city."** That plaque is a lie on many levels, but especially that it was "erected by citizens of Bristol". It was really the passion-project of a single rich aristocrat named J. W. Arrowsmith. ![A statue from the Victorian era of the Edward Colston statue](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/07/image-3-1.png) 1895 was a time of profound social change (sound familiar?) when socialist ideas were taking hold in England. The working class was in revolt, with masses of people joining unions, organising workers' strikes and protesting against their exploitation. It was a pretty scary time to be a rich aristocrat, and Arrowsmith decided to build a mythology around Edward Colston in direct reaction to that social change. Historian Roger Ball has [a brilliant article about all this](https://www.brh.org.uk/site/articles/myths-within-myths/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#myths-within-myths-n-3): > The historical figure of Colston was being reinvented in the Victorian period to represent the economic, social and political perspectives of the Bristol business elite … Ritual commemoration, celebration and memorialisation of Edward Colston in the Victorian public domain were crucial to propagating both the elite concept of Colston and the belief that this concept was validated by long-standing tradition. Colston wasn't the only philanthropist of his time. He wasn't even the most generous; other Bristolian merchants of his time donated more money to charity than he did, and even managed to do so without trading a single enslaved person. Colston was chosen to be honoured as the "father of the city" because Arrowsmith felt that he represented the ideals of the business elite *in the 1800s* Putting up that statue was a way of sending a message to the working classes, like "see, this man was super rich and look how much nice stuff he gave you, he was basically a saint, isn't it nice to have kindly rich philanthropists running society?" J. W. Arrowsmith went to some extreme lengths to build a mythology around Colston, going so far as to spread pseudo-religious stories about him (including one wild tale where a dolphin saved his life by plugging a hole in one of his ships with its body). Arrowsmith initially tried to raise money from the public to set up the statue, but he wasn't able to because *nobody else cared about Edward Colston*, so he ultimately paid for most of the project himself. "Erected by citizens of Bristol" indeed. So when the Colston statue served as the site of public mythmaking again in 2020, that was really a fitting continuation of its story. ![The empty plinth where the Colston statue once stood, now covered in graffiti and "Black Lives Matter" signs](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/07/image-5.png) The empty pedestal of the statue of Edward Colton in Bristol, photo by Caitlin Hobbs It's easy to look at all the bronze statues of dead white dudes (often on horses) that litter cities around the world and think that they represent a long historical tradition. They're designed to feel that way: eternal, mighty, inarguable. But, truly, most of those bronze statues you see represent a very specific historical moment. [Fully half of the monuments that have recently been the centre of protests in recent years were built within just a 30-year period: 1889-1919](https://www.historyworkshop.org.uk/when-the-statues-went-up/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (the heyday of Cecil John Rhodes and modern colonialism). And the protests around them represent a re-evaluation of that historical moment and its effects on the present. It asks questions about the roots of today's inequalities, and what should be done about them. This is not an erasure of history, but deep engagement with it. There have been discussions about the Colston statue for decades. At some point, the city added a new plaque next to the statue mentioning Colston's history as a slave trader, but there was no agreement about the exact wording of it. There were appeals through the "proper channels" to have the statue removed from the public space. And nothing happened. Until protestors used it in a thrilling moment of political theatre, by literally "recontextualising" it into the context of the bottom of the bloody ocean (where, incidentally, the bodies of 19,000 Africans enslaved by the Royal African Company also went). Activist Jen Reid, who climbed onto the empty plinth afterwards and raised her hand in a Black Power salute, said "My immediate thoughts were for the enslaved people who died at the hands of Colston and to give them power. I wanted to give George Floyd power, I wanted to give power to Black people like me who have suffered injustices and inequality." My friend [Dr Carla Lever](https://www.bayreuth-academy.uni-bayreuth.de/en/people/Fellows-list/Dr%5F-Carla-Lever/index.php?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- who studies performance and protest - often talks about the power of political gestures like this. "These performances are ephemeral, which is their strength and their power. If a picture is a thousand words, a gesture or an act is a whole book. Gestures travel faster and easier than bodies - especially in a pandemic, but also because of the barriers of visa status and privilege. A gesture can really capture a feeling, a zeitgeist." These gestures get repeated and amplified and localised throughout the world. In 2015, student activists pulled down the statue of Cecil John Rhodes at the University of Cape Town, and that gesture was echoed with Edward Colston in the UK in 2020, and again this week in [Canada](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/queen-victoria-statue-canada-indigenous-graves-b1876803.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by activists protesting the deaths of Indigenous children. Colin Kaepernick took the knee during the national anthem in 2016, a gesture [echoed in 2018](https://www.news24.com/news24/southafrica/news/two-herzlia-pupils-facing-disciplinary-action-for-taking-a-knee-during-israeli-national-anthem-20181114?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by students at a Jewish high school in Cape Town in protest of the treatment of Palistinians by the state of Israel. These acts build solidarity amongst activists, and an awareness of how all of these marginalised groups are connected - they were all subject to the same colonial violence, leading to similar experiences of racial injustice today. Political performance is powerful because it's disruptive. South Africa is one of the most materially unequal countries in the world, and protests about the terrible lived experience of inequality are both ubiquitous and ignored. As Carla says, "In South Africa, service delivery protests often aren't included in the news, but in the traffic report. It's considered something you nagivate around. Something you need to avoid. But statues are visible to everyone. They're put in privileged public spaces, and the gesture of pulling them down is easy to understand. It draws people in, and you can start to have a conversation. Sadly, people care more about bronze bodies than black bodies." ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/07/image-4-1.png) Marc Quinn's statue of activist Jen Reid, who climbed onto Colston's plinth after the statue was torn down. This guerrilla artwork was temporarily installed on the empty plinth. What should we do with all of these empty statue plinths? I used to think that the solution was to put up new statues of people who represent a broader diversity of human history. But now I think we should just tear all the statues of individuals down. Victorian statuary was a weird political tradition from a weird time in history, when we liked to pretend that we'd Got it All Figured Out Forever and we'd never re-evaluate how we feel about any person at any future time, ever, so we can safely emboss history in bronze and stick our heroes on concrete plinths to be looked up at and admired for eternity. Statues *aren't even very good at helping us remember history*. Ask [Gary Younge](https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2021/jun/01/gary-younge-why-every-single-statue-should-come-down-rhodes-colston?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), who's on the committee responsible for the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square, where they've chosen to display temporary contemporary sculptures instead of putting up a statue of any particular person: > Over the years there have been requests to put David Beckham, Bill Morris, Mary Seacole, Benny Hill and Paul Gascoigne up there... But with each request I got, I would make the petitioner an offer: if you can name those who occupy the other three plinths, then the fourth is yours. > The petitioners generally had no idea who any of them were. And when they finally conceded that point, I would ask them: “So why would you want to put someone else up there so we could forget them? I understand that you want to preserve their memory. But you’ve just shown that this is not a particularly effective way to remember people.” So let's just stop with the statues of people in public, yeah? Let's not put up a [weirdly awkward Princess Diana statue](https://www.nytimes.com/2021/07/01/world/europe/diana-statue-william-harry.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Let's not put up [1,700 new statues of every person who ever won a shiny medal](https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2021/feb/17/more-war-hero-statues-is-wholly-retrograde-move-conservative-mps-say-womens-groups?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Let's DEFINITELY not [threaten to throw people in jail for 10 years if they damage a memorial](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-56400751?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), thanks Tories. Instead, let's fund more temporary public art projects. Let's build abstract memorials to larger historical moments, like the moving Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe in Berlin. Let's build [statues made out of materials that are deliberately designed to erode](https://www.englandscreativecoast.com/destinations/kent/products/pilar-quinteros-janus-fortress-folkestone-for-folkestone/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Let's build more museums and public performance spaces. And what should we do with the statues we tear down? I think the city of Bristol has found the right answer: it's put Edward Colston in a museum, in a space where people come to actively learn about history. The statue is displayed on its back, not elevated on a plinth that you have to physically (and metaphorically) look up to. It's surrounded by information about his life - the good and the bad (it's mostly bad) - and the whole story of his statue and the decades of protest against it. There are comments from Bristolians about how they feel about the statue, and a live poll museum visitors can take part in. Placards from the protests are displayed next to the statue. The exhibition reflects both on the history of Bristol, and on how that history continues to reverberate in the pain and disadvantage Black people experience today, all around the world. It's a vital, *alive* exhibition, one that encourages the viewer to ask questions rather than pretending that the ink has dried on the final draft of history. People are mad about this. Some reactionaries who wanted the statue restored to its plinth block-booked the free museum tickets with no intention of using them, trying to prevent people from seeing the exhibition (these are the people who supposedly want history "remembered", huh?). But the nice museum staff at M-Shed are just letting people walk in anyway. So if you find yourself in Bristol, go see it. I found it extraordinarily moving. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/07/colston-1.jpeg) Here is the statue of Edward Colston, as it should be: in a museum, flat on its back. Remembered, and not revered. Wishing you informative roadtrips and lifesaving dolphins, Sam *[Dr Carla Lever](https://www.bayreuth-academy.uni-bayreuth.de/en/people/Fellows-list/Dr%5F-Carla-Lever/index.php?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is a Research Fellow at the Nelson Mandela School of Public Governance, UCT and currently visiting fellow at the University of Bayreuth.* --- ## Updates from Sam-Land - I'm very conscious of the fact that many of you in South Africa are back in lockdown and that the situation in Gauteng is dismal right now. My thoughts are with all of you, every day. - Friends, I am O B S E S S E D with Bo Burnham's *Inside* \- available on Netflix. It's part visual album, part hilarious musical comedy special, part realtime footage of a man having a breakdown during the Covid-19 lockdown. It helped me to grieve all the things we went through over the past year and it's a work of genius. Please be aware that it features discussion about anxiety, depression and suicide so avoid it if you're not in the right headspace for that. - Speaking of grieving Covid, I found [this piece in the *New York Times*](https://www.nytimes.com/2021/06/24/opinion/covid-pandemic-grief.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)really helpful in thinking through why I feel so off-kilter as the world suddenly opens up again in the UK. - Speaking of experiences that feel totally surreal now: I saw an ACTUAL MOVIE in the ACTUAL CINEMA this week, for the first time in 18 months (popcorn, the smell of other people's farts, wondering when's the best moment to dash to the loo, the whole shebang). We saw *A Quiet Place II*, which was a great choice for a first big-screen movie because it's actiony and super fun on a big screen. The kid actors are especially impressive (except the actor playing the baby, who doesn't really pull her weight to be honest, mostly just lays there, one star for the baby). ### The Bachelor is the perfect TV show URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-bachelor/ Last updated: 2021-06-23T09:30:59.000Z Hello grownups! I've been thinking a lot recently about one of the most relevant and pressing social issues of our day: the reality TV show *The Bachelor.* I became obsessed with *The Bachelor* by accident. One Sunday a few years ago, my friend Limpho and I were hanging out in my flat, and decided to ironically watch the first episode of South African version. We were a little tipsy, and thought it would be a fun game to take a sip every time somebody said the word "ladies". Four hours later, we were halfway through the season and too drunk to form coherent sentences. By this point, we were so invested that we promised to meet up again the next weekend to watch the next chunk of episodes together. So, of course, the next morning, I had to message her and confess that I'd stayed up all night and binged the whole season and she texted me back and said "oh thank god, me too". If you've somehow missed it, the premise of *The Bachelor* is that a bunch of nearly identical almost-all white women in their early 20s spend three months living together in a mansion, trying to win the affections of one eligible bachelor (always a chiselled-jaw dude, often an ex-professional athlete or otherwise rich, usually with about as much personality as a clothes rack). They go on hyperbolically romantic dates, spend a lot of time in bikinis and evening-wear, and are eliminated one by one until the chosen one is awarded the "final rose" and - often - an engagement ring. It's kind of like the Playboy Mansion but overlaid with a veneer of respectability because the intention is that you will get married at the end of it. The whole thing is bizarelly regressive. All of the women have a specific beauty pageant look (indeed, many of the contestants are former beauty pageant winners). The bachelors are traditionally handsome, rich, and usually older than the women (often by an uncomfortable margin). The show has famous racism problems, and has had consent scandals. Everybody's performing strict gender roles - for instance, men always propose (even on the gender-flipped version of the show, *The Bachelorette*). The show is obsessed with who's a "virgin" and who's not, which is weird for a show that features a literal sex room (the "fantasy suite"). Obviously, it's a wildly misogynistic premise, and the creator Mike Fleiss is [exactly the person you imagine would have come up with ](https://deadline.com/2019/07/judge-grants-temporary-domestic-violence-restraining-order-against-the-bachelor-creator-mike-fleiss-1202647387/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*[The Bachelor](https://deadline.com/2019/07/judge-grants-temporary-domestic-violence-restraining-order-against-the-bachelor-creator-mike-fleiss-1202647387/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*. So you might be surprised to learn that the viewership is overwhelmingly female. The show's been so successful that since its debut in 2002, there have been over 100 seasons of it in 30+ countries, so at least I'm not alone in my *Bachelor* addiction. There's a culture of fans holding *Bachelor* viewing parties, usually involving betting pools and a lot of wine, and fans refer to ourselves as members of Bachelor Nation. The idea that the best way to find love is on a reality TV show is - of course - absurd. The contestants are removed from all the gritty realities of life: their family, friends, jobs, money problems, the realities of keeping up a home and other stresses of adulting. They get to know each other against a backdrop of hot air balloons and ocean picnics and horseback rides. The show presents the idea that you should choose the person you marry based on the strength of the "connection" you feel with them in this artificial love-bubble, in less than three months. Unsurprisingly, the success rate is awful. Twenty-five seasons of the US *Bachelor* have produced exactly three successful marriages (in two out of those three cases, the bachelor broke up with the winning contestant and ultimately married the runner-up). The contestants would have been better off getting an arranged marriage, or, ya know, actually building a relationship based on mutual trust and affection and a shared vision of a good life in the real world. But it's illuminating to see the "romance" ideal presented in such a straightforward way, because it's an ideal that underpins a lot of how we *still* talk about heterosexual relationships in the real world. Girls like me growing up in the 90s and 2000s were bathed in the romance narrative from birth: contestants falling in love on the Bachelor aren't that different to Ariel falling in love with a dude she's never spoken to in *The Little Mermaid.* ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/06/disney.gif) Actually, being serenaded by animated fish on a rowboat would be a perfect *Bachelor* date It's just good TV! After making so many seasons, the producers are experts at creating D R A M A. About half of the screen time is devoted to romance stuff, but the other half is about them getting into jealous fights with each other. Standard scenarios include women accusing each other of having secret boyfriends back home, of stealing too much of the bachelor's time, of faking injuries to get attention, of being too drunk, of stealing each other's stuff, and of being inappropriately sexy (instead of exactly the right amount of sexy that the show mandates). The women are cast into familiar sexist stereotypes: there's always the "crazy one". The "slut". The "jealous princess". The "kooky girl". The "bitch". The "drama queen". The "dumb blonde", best embodied in this clip from the opening episode of *The Bachelor Australia* season 7 (possibly the greatest moment of television ever made): Of course, none of it's real. That clip above, hilarious as it is, is edited to suggest that Abbie is stupid, when in fact both she and the bachelor Matt [confirmed that she was making a (very witty) joke](https://www.elle.com.au/culture/bachelor-australia-2019-matt-responds-gemini-comment-20957?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). The storylines are created through editing. Season 13 (US) contestant Megan Parris is on record saying this: > I don't think \[the producers\] showed any real conversation I had with anyone ... The viewers fail to realize that editing is what makes the show ... You'll hear someone make one comment and then they'll show a clip of somebody's face to make it look like *that* is their facial reaction to that statement, but really, somebody made that face the day before to something else. It's just piecing things together to make a story. In an interview, Mike Fleiss said that that he develops contestants into characters that will cater to his audience's tastes and that they "need \[their\] fair share of villains every season." The producers are running around on set the whole time, goading the women into saying and doing outrageous things. They're [plied with alcohol constantly](https://www.insider.com/how-much-alcohol-do-people-drink-on-bachelor-2017-1?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and bullied into saying what the producers want them to say. There's a great scripted TV show about this called *[UnReal](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3314218/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*. The women who come on the show have seen *The Bachelor*, presumably. They know what they're in for. So why do they do it? Being a contestant on the show is a major financial risk. The contestants aren't paid, and they have to be on set for 3 months. Some are lucky enough to take a leave of absence, but many of them have to quit their jobs to be on the show. The women have to provide their own wardrobe, buy their own cosmetics, and do their own hair and makeup. Performing femininity is hella expensive: contestant Jillian Harris said "I had remortgaged my house and spent something like $8,000 on clothing." Some of them are sincerely looking to find love with a rich dude, I guess? But many of them are hoping to launch independent careers as influencers and models. The more entertaining and outrageous their behaviour, the more the women are rewarded in screentime, which can help them achieve their goals, so many contestants are happy to perform the sexist stereotypes and play the roles they're cast in. Power to them! But my favourite moments in the show are the times when a bit of *real* reality peeps through, when you get glimpses of the fact that these people are more complex and surprising than they're pretending to be. The contestants are supposed to be jealous of each other and fight over the dreamboat guy. But the truth is, they're spending much more time with each other than with the Bachelor, and often develop adorable friendships. In the purest moment of *The Bachelor Vietnam*, two of the contestants fell for each other and left the show to be together (they're still dating! My heart!!). That first South African season was practically Shakespearean in ways that I don't think the producers could ever have planned. Throughout the show, the Bachelor (Lee) is very obviously in love with one contestant: a very driven and independent lawyer named Jozaan. He's so into her that he goes on dates with *other women* and only wants to talk to them about Jozaan (rude, but also pretty cute). And then, in the final episode, they finally have an actual conversation about what their life might look like after they step out of the romance bubble of the show, and she says that - uh - no, she's not just going to uproot her whole life in Pretoria and move with him to Cape Town, so at the very last minute, Lee dumps her and gives the final rose to the other woman, Gina. Even Gina's surprised by this! Gina seems like Jozaan's opposite in every way: Jozaan is tall, blonde, takes longer to trust somebody, and is very invested in her career and her large family. Gina's petite, dark-haired, sweet, and a makeup artist who's used to moving around a lot, so she's much happier to fit into his life than demand that he fit into hers. I was rooting for Jozaan because it felt surprising that bland Lee would choose the more "difficult" woman. For most of the season, it seems like he's going to, until he gets cold feet right at the end and gives that final rose to romantic, seemingly undemanding Gina. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/06/image-10.png) How could you do my girl so wrong, Lee?! And then, in a final delicious twist, they catch up with the couple a few months later, to find that Gina has dumped his ass because "real-life Lee was different to fairytale Lee" oh and by the way Gina's best friend was REEVA STEENKAMP (the woman Oscar Pistorius murdered) and she saw familiar red flags in their relationship, and her final words on *The Bachelor*, a show that's entirely about constructing fairytale romances, are "You don’t have to buy into the fairytale. You can create your own happy ending and Lee wasn’t mine." I was dead. DEAD! I should never have underestimated you, Gina! I like to think of *The Bachelor* as being like drag for heterosexuals. Just like drag affectionately exagerrates the performance of gender until it becomes absurd, and thereby reveals new things about it, *The Bachelor* presents the straight romance ideal in its most heightened, ridiculous splendour. It's more complex than parody, because it's completely impossible to laugh at the silliness of it without getting sucked in and sincerely enjoying it on its own terms. I fully intended to enjoy *The Bachelor* ironically, but I'll confess, friends, I also just bloody love it. Wishing you fun times in the fantasy suite, Sam --- ## Money 101 now available to paid subscribers Paid members, I've uploaded[ the whole Money 101 course](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/money-101/) to the website for you. It features 30 minutes of video, and it aims to be a quick introduction to the basics of money. Subscribers who joined more than a year ago, I gave you all complementary paid subscriptions because you're THE BEST, so you all should have access ;) --- ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/06/image-11.png) The Peak District, image by Jim Monk ## Updates from Sam-Land This newsletter was sneakily pre-scheduled, because I am in the Peak District right now, hopefully watching *The Bachelor*, and celebrating MAH BIRTHDAY! ### Money 101 URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/money-101/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T13:38:58.000Z A one-hour introduction to the basics of managing your money, now available for all paid subscribers. **You're going to earn plenty of money over your lifetime. Are you going to waste it on stuff that doesn't make you happy, or let it buy your freedom and your most audacious dreams?** This is the class about the basics of money that you wish you'd gotten when you were younger. Instead of attacking you with math and financy jargon, we'll focus on the three fundamentals that matter most: 1. Assets 2. Compounding 3. Diversification In this lighthearted romp through the world of finances, we'll talk about practical questions like why budgets don't work, how to trick your brain into saving more money, and what the heck the stock market actually is. Ideal for young people at the start of their careers, or for anybody who wants to get back to basics and feel in control of their finances again. Key topics we cover: - Your 480 choices - getting out of the paycheque to paycheque mindset and thinking about your lifetime income and expenses as a whole. - What are assets? What makes a good asset, or a bad asset? - Practical ways to save money that really work. - Why one of the most powerful ways to save money is to get out of debt. - How compound interest should change everything about how you think about money. - Inflation: the reason that keeping your money in the bank is certain to make it vanish. - How to manage risk through diversification. - What the heck the stock market actually is. - The one simple financial product that's a great starting point for most people: global ETFs. \------- Music by BenSound and illustrations by Nanna Venter. _This post is for paying subscribers only._ ### When did you last have an identity crisis? URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/identity-crisis/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:40:15.000Z Hello grownups! Imagine that every adult in the world was assigned a random fifteen-year-old who got to make all their decisions for them. That fifteen-year-old could follow you around, decide what you wear every day, choose who you're in a relationship with and what career you have, pick your tattoos, and tell you what your life's grand ambitions are. Wild idea, right? Nothing against fifteen-year-olds (the ones I know are all pretty rad actually), but a world made up *only* of fifteen-year-olds and the choices they make would be an odd one indeed. It would certainly be a more *interesting* world. There'd be more wannabe rockstars and fewer accountants, that's for sure, and a lot more people tripping on their wildly oversized pants. But, in a way, there *is* a fifteen-year-old who makes a lot of decisions for you.Except, instead of a random teen assigned to you, there's a specific one: **the person you were when you were younger.** I had a very clear vision for my life when I was fifteen. I planned to become a mathematician, I was going to live in a garret in Paris and I'd have a daughter named Lúthien (after an obscure Tolkien character). I'd own a horse. I had it all figured out: I'd decided that I was a Buddhist and a Communist and that I was "not like other girls" and I loved Smashmouth so much I'd painted the lyrics to "All Star" on my bedroom wall. I was certain, then, that I would hold these same views forever. I'd have been happy to tattoo these identities on my forehead, I was so sure of them. Thankfully, I did not. ![A photograph of the band Smashmouth](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/06/image-7.png) Ah yes, the height of cool. I can look back on that person with fond bafflement, but she's not who I am any more. And I'm betting that fifteen-year old you isn't who you are any more, either. And yet, a long time ago, a fifteen-year-old who happens to have the same name and fingerprints as you got to decide a bunch of important things on your behalf, like whether to go to university, what to study, what big dreams you have for your life, what your core beliefs are, who to be friends with. And you inherited their decisions. All of us underestimate how much we'll change over the rest of our life. You can look back on the person you were ten years ago, and marvel at how different you are to them, AND YET be 100% certain that the person you'll be ten years from now will have the same beliefs and interests as you do now. [Psychologist Daniel Gilbert calls this "the end of history illusion"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNbaR54Gpj4&ab%5Fchannel=TED&ref=sambeckbessinger.com): > Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they’re finished. The person you are right now is as transient, as fleeting and as temporary as all the people you’ve ever been. The one constant in our lives is change. A lot of people imagine that **identity** is something you figure out in your teenage years, maybe your early 20s, and then you're done. The guy who invented the term "identity crisis" was a developmental psychologist named Erik Erikson. He theorised that most people went through distinct stages of development, and that each one was characterised by a "crisis" created by conflicting forces. If the individual manages to reconcile the forces, they emerge from that phase with a specific virtue. | Approximate Age | Psychosocial Crisis | Virtue | Existential question | Events | | ---------------- | ------------------------------- | ---------- | --------------------------------------- | ------------------------------------ | | Infant - 2 years | Trust vs. Mistrust | Hope | Can I trust the world? | Feeding, abandonment | | 2-3 years | Autonomy vs. Shame & Doubt | Will | Is it okay to be me? | Toilet training, clothing themselves | | 3-6 years | Initiative vs. Guilt | Purpose | Is it okay for me to do, move, and act? | Exploring, using tools, making art | | 7-12 years | Industry vs. Inferiority | Competence | Can I make it in the world? | School, sports | | 13-19 years | **Identity vs. Role Confusion** | Fidelity | Who am I? Who can I be? | Social relationships | | 20-39 years | Intimacy vs. Isolation | Love | Can I love | Romantic relationships | | 40-59 years | Generativity vs. Stagnation | Care | Can I make my life count? | Work, parenthood | | 60+ | Ego Integrity vs. Despair | Wisdom | Is it okay to have been me? | Mankind | Erikson believed that **figuring out who you are** is the main psychosocial task of your teenage years. Influenced mostly by your peers and by role models, it's the time you explore different ideas about who you are, and who you can be. If you resolve that crisis well, you develop the virtue of **fidelity**, which means the ability to commit to things. If it goes wrong, you end up not being sure about yourself or your place in society. Building on Erikson's model, another researcher called James Marcia studied **how** that conflict is resolved. He spent a lot of time interviewing young people and categorised them into different states of identity formation. If a person has settled on an identity without ever exploring other options, they're said to have a **foreclosed identity** \- this is like a kid who accepts the beliefs of their parents or community outright, without questioning them. If they don't want to explore identities, but also haven't committed to anything, they're in a state of **identity diffusion**, an amorphous "I don't care" state. If they begin to explore identities but haven't yet settled, they're in a **moratorium.** Once a person has explored and then made commitments, they're said to have **achieved** an identity. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/06/image-5.png) Marcia's identity statuses, adapted from Discovering the Lifespan by R. S. Feldman 2009 We call the state of questioning your identity an "identity crisis", and it really can feel like a crisis. People in this state are much more anxious because their world is currently not a predictable place. But I like Marcia's word "moratorium" better, because it captures the fact that this can be a necessary, even deliberate strategy: *I am choosing not to commit yet, because I'm still exploring. Yes, things are turbulent right now, but it's a healthy turbulence.* You can see a moratorium as instability, but also as exploration, and as play. Marcia found some evidence to support the idea that people who achieve identity *after* a moratorium phase tend to have a stronger, **internal** rather than external "locus of self-definition" - they're clearer about who they are, independent of the context they find themselves in or the community they're a part of. So a common healthy path through an identity crisis is diffusion (meh) > moratorium (exploring) > achievement (I know who I am), but some people get stuck in a state of foreclosure or diffusion. So yes, identity moratoriums are stressful as heck, but they can also be extremely healthy. They're a time when, as Rilke put it, you ["live the questions now."](https://www.brainpickings.org/2012/06/01/rilke-on-questions/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Marcia and Erikson's models are neat and all. It's a tidy story that allows us to imagine a clear path through the stages of our lives all the way to Adulthood™. But of course, life is seldom that neat, and the truth is that most of us will have multiple identity crises throughout our lives. In Marcia's later work, he shifted his focus from adolescents to adults and spoke about how we have "MAMA cycles" (moratorium-achievement-moratorium-achievement cycles). Which means, I'm sorry to tell you, that you don't get to leave your identity crisis years behind you in your teenage years, along with your bad fashion choices and weird crushes. Some crises happen **to you**, times when your life changes and you've got to reconfigure your entire sense of self, like if somebody close to you dies, or if you lose your job, or hit menopause, or make a new discovery about your sexual orientation or gender identity, or divorce, or get sick, or win the lotto. At least some of these things will happen to you, and when they do, you will find yourself having to rewrite your whole story of who you are. That's what identity is: the story you tell about yourself that binds your disparate experiences together. As Oliver Sacks said: > We have, each of us, a life-story, an inner narrative — whose continuity, whose sense, **is* our lives. It might be said that each of us constructs and lives, a “narrative,” and that this narrative **is* us, our identities. > If we wish to know about a man, we ask “what is his story — his real, inmost story?” — for each of us **is* a biography, a story. Each of us **is* a singular narrative, which is constructed, continually, unconsciously, by, through, and in us — through our perceptions, our feelings, our thoughts, our actions; and, not least, our discourse, our spoken narrations. Biologically, physiologically, we are not so different from each other; historically, as narratives — we are each of us unique But it's worth remembering that you can also **choose** to have an identity crisis anytime you like, and spend some time in a moratorium where you try out some hobbies you dismissed, or test-drive a new career [(like my friend Jen did)](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/crafting-your-own-apprenticeship/), or attempt a different dating strategy, or just let yourself re-interrogate the core decisions about your life and wonder if you'd make the same decisions today, or if you're just being held hostage by a past version of yourself. There's probably an optimal number of identity crises to have in your lifetime. Thirty is probably too many. One is definitely too few. So if it's been a while since you've had one, maybe you should consider scheduling one in! Because the alternative is the equivalent to summoning your fifteen-year-old self (or twenty-year-old, or thirty-year-old, or however old you were when you last had an identity crisis), and letting them boss you around. You don't want that. You know a lot more about the world than they did. Besides, that kid had weird taste in pants, and was way too into Smashmouth. Wishing you identity moratoriums and absurd pants, Nearly-34-year-old Sam --- ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/06/sam-beckbessinger.png) ## Money Under 30 I'm honoured to be participating in an online panel called "Money Under 30". It's being hosted and curated by the delightful Lani Lecielle. Lani was a restaurant server living in the US Virgin Islands. She lost her job right at the beginning of the pandemic, and learned the hard way that you can't always rely on your 9-to-5 job for income. Her solution has been to put together an interview series with people from all over the world who figured out how to earn money in a range of circumstances, many of them under the age of 30, to share their insights about building a sustainable income on your own terms. Her event is called [“Money Under 30: Top Earners Reveal Secrets To Creating Financial Freedom”](http://moneyunder30live.com/sam?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and here is your link. Tickets are $97, and you get to keep the recordings so you can watch them again any time. I hope to see some of you there! --- ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/06/image-8.png) I am doing Couch to 5k again and it's FINE I guess. ## Updates from Sam-Land I recently found myself with an odd little two-week empty time between projects (one of the hazards of freelancing) and decided to lean into a little work moratorium of my own. Rather than diving right into a new project, I challenged myself to spend the time **exploring** ideas without committing (this is not easy for my achievement-addict gold-star-seeking brain!). This involved a lot of time-boxed creative exercises (mostly cribbed from Alan Watt's *[The 90 Day Novel](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34657996-the-90-day-novel?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* and Matthew Kalil's *[The Three Wells of Screenwriting](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/39332948-the-three-wells-of-screenwriting?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=9GQUmqL4AE&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*).It was enormous fun, and I've come out of it extremely hyped about a new novel idea. Hooray for play! - On my [physiotherapist's orders](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-secret-to-superhuman-strength/), I've just restarted the [Couch to 5k](https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/exercise/couch-to-5k-week-by-week/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) running programme for about the seven billionth time in my life. I will never love running but I have come to a begrudging truce with it. If - like me - you need a good plan to get more cardio into your life, do give it a try: it's a science-backed programme that has worked for millions of people (I keep telling myself) and most of the apps are completely free. - My friend Lucille sent me this podcast episode about a sex cult that turned into a silverware company called [Oneida](https://open.spotify.com/episode/5oTgMIalq33IM5UCRVnPD0?si=axDccy62RTm3TU-5sc65VA&dl%5Fbranch=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and it is WILD. ### Robben Island's Rabbit Problem URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/robben-island/ Last updated: 2021-06-04T08:48:40.000Z *Content warning:this piece discusses colonialism, so give this one a skip if you're not in the mood for that.* Hello, grownups! Several years ago, I was walking to the old leper’s graveyard on Robben Island, when I felt my foot hook on something. I was in a grumpy mood (it's an upsetting place, *and* I’d just been kidnapped by a group of geriatric archaeology enthusiasts… long story) and looking forward to getting back to the ferry. The sand on the island is gritty and pale, like beach sand, blanketed in scraggly greenery. I bent down and moved the brush aside to see what my foot had caught in, and saw that it was stuck in the rib cage of some small animal - a rabbit or a dassie - filling it like a shoe. In one of the most surreal moments of my life, I pushed aside more bushes and realised that I was standing in a whole field of animal bones. Dozens of different creatures: fine rabbit femurs, the football shape of sun-bleached tortoise carcasses, and most inexplicable of all, what looked like the skull of an entire moose (I later discovered it was a fallow deer). I haven't been able to get that uncanny image out of my mind ever since. Robben Island is a small lump of land 7km off the coast of Cape Town. You probably know it as the place that Nelson Mandela, Robert Sobukwe, Walter Sisulu and many of South Africa’s most prominent freedom fighters were imprisoned during Apartheid. But the island has many layers of history. At various times, it’s been a leper colony, an insane asylum, a dumping place for sick paupers, a penal colony. It was the place the Dutch and British sent Xhosa chiefs and prophets who resisted their conquest, and Khoe-Sān “troublemakers” who resisted their genocide. You can follow South Africa’s whole dark history by looking at Robben Island, and all the people who were banished there. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/06/image-2.png) 1887 depiction of the leper colony on Robben Island It’s an island of skeletons. Literal skeletons, not just metaphorical ones. Mostly of birds and small animals, because there are so damn many of them. Even the limestone, which political prisoners were forced to spend all day smashing into smaller rocks, is made out of the skeletons of long-dead ocean creatures. So... why is Robben Island so skeletony? The first European settlement in the “Cape of Good Hope” was intended as a refreshment station for ships sailing between the Netherlands and the East Indies. Sailors kept dying of scurvy (the mortality rate on ships travelling from the Netherlands to modern-day Jakarta was, on average, 14%) so Jan van Riebeeck oversaw the establishment of a garden of fruits and vegetables for sailors (the Company’s Garden). ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/06/image-4.png) Convoy to Table Bay, painted in 1787 by William Bradley Those early years were difficult, and the Dutch often lived on the edge of starvation. They didn’t have any understanding of the local flora, fauna, or people. There’s a fairly good translation of the journals Van Riebeeck kept during his years as commander of the Cape settlement and it's fascinating to glimpse the early Cape through his eyes. Despite their hunger, the only local plants they realised they could eat were wild mustard and sorrel leaves. He often mistook animals for other animals: he wrote often about the dangerous “tigers” (actually leopards) and wild “horses” (actually quaggas). There were, of course, already people living in the Cape, who were understandably not *thrilled* by the foreign encroachment on their good grazing land and the monopolisation of their fresh water supplies (and, often, the outright theft of their cattle). At times, they were able to trade with the locals, but these relationships were unstable, and later degenerated into mass murder, systematic rape, and ultimately [genocide](https://nechamabrodie.com/2015/09/27/a-series-of-tweets-on-the-khoe-san-genocide-in-the-cape/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) . The combination of predation by all those pesky “tigers” and local Khoe-Sān people stealing their livestock (or stealing it *back*, depending on who you ask) meant that they struggled to raise animals on the mainland. So they raised them on Robben Island instead. Robben Island was a godsend for them. It was a coloniser’s fantasy: a place teeming with animals and devoid of humans. “Robben” is the Dutch word for “seal”, and when Europeans first found it, it was bursting with seals and birds. [A sailor](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David%5FMiddleton%5F%28mariner%29?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) in 1607 wrote that “there is not an iland in the world more frequented with Fowle and Seales than this iland”. Or, as an admiral of the Dutch East India Company said in 1608, “On the island we found an unspeakable number of sea-dogs which lay on the rocks to bask in the sun … Our men amused themselves by clubbing fully a hundred to death.” Island ecosystems are weird. Unlike most other places, animals can't move in and out of the area easily, which means a few things tend to happen: - Animals become extremely docile, if there are no predators. - Animals tend to become either very large (like Komodo dragons or Galapagos tortoises) or very small (like the cutest [pygmy mammoth](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pygmy%5Fmammoth?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), AKA the exotic pet I will be ordering as soon as science figures out how to resurrect extinct creatures, *Jurassic Park*\-style). - Animals end up with less genetic variation, because most of them are descendants from just a couple of original individuals. In other words, they're inbred, like Cain and Abel, or [cheetahs](https://evolution.berkeley.edu/evolibrary/news/160201%5Fcheetahs?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), or the British Royal Family). This makes them much more sensitive to extinction. If something changes in their normally very stable ecosystem, there's less diversity, so less chance that the species will be able to adapt. - Invading species often have no predators or other checks on their growth, so **they multiply horrifyingly quickly.** Van Riebeeck's men plundered the wildlife enthusiastically. On one sample trip out to the island in 1652, they brought back 6 seals, 100 duikers, and 3000 penguin eggs. By the end of 1652, the seals were already becoming harder to find (clever seals), and both the penguin and seal colonies would be fully hunted out within the next 200 years. The penguins eventually came back - there’s now one of the largest remaining colonies of African penguins living on the island, but it’s once again facing extinction, this time because of climate change and commercial fishing. In place of the wildlife, the Dutch started leaving their own animals on the island, treating it like a living larder. They dropped off some sheep in 1653, and went back a few months later to find that they’d gotten so fat they could barely walk. They also - and this will be important later - introduced European rabbits. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/06/image-1.png) Early settlers' interpretations of a fat-tailed sheep, "Penguine Iland" (which was later renamed after the seals), and a penguin. In 1657, Van Riebeeck installed a dude named Jan Woutersz as the superintendent of Robben Island. This was a punishment: he’d been found guilty of abusing alcohol and “blasphemous injuries against the characters of the females at the Cape” (talking smack about Van Riebeeck’s wife). His responsibilities on Robben Island were to tend the sheep, supervise the slaves and exiles working the quarry, and keep a fire burning on a tall platform if he spotted any Dutch ships, so they wouldn’t crash into the island. Thing is, humans don’t exactly thrive when forced to live in banishment on dreary, lonely islands (ask Robert Pattinson in the 2019 film *The Lighthouse*, or me circa the third Covid-19 lockdown) so Woutersz's drinking problem got worse. He neglected his duties, and was eventually packed off to India. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/06/robert-pattinson.gif) Actual footage of me and my partner stuck in England during the third Covid lockdown (actually from the 2019 film, "The Lighthouse") Van Riebeeck installed his second-in-command, a man called Rijck Overhagen, as the new Robben Island superintendent. Hoping to prevent Rijck from going similarly loopy, Van Riebeeck gave him a lot of busy-work to keep him occupied. One of these tasks was to exterminate all of the snakes on the island. Van Riebeeck told him they were venomous, but really they were harmless mole snakes. Just picture poor old Rijck, running around anxiously trying to capture all these “poisonous vermin”, barely staving off madness, certain he was doing something heroic (and was really entirely pointless). But remember, islands are closed ecosystems, so killing off all the snakes did have a big impact: they were the only predators keeping the rabbit population in control. With the snakes gone, the rabbits bred like - um - rabbits, and the island was soon overrun. The rabbits started destroying the vegetation, which had further knock-on effects for everything else that lived on the island. Their smart idea for dealing with the rabbits was to introduce cats (like the old lady who swallowed the fly, who then ate a spider to catch the fly, and then a bird to catch the fly…). The cats did keep the rabbits in check, but decimated the birdlife. And here’s the crazy thing: this problem hasn’t gone away, almost 400 years later. In the late 2000s, the rabbit overpopulation problem was so bad again that the rabbits started [climbing the acacia trees](http://www.rabbitadvocacy.com/rabbits%5Foverrun%5Frobben%5Fisland.htm?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and eating kelp, they were so hungry. They are now regularly culled by professionals. It could be worse, I guess. At least rabbits are cute! In Guam, a Pacific island, foreigners introduced the brown tree snake during World War II (probably as a stowaway in a cargo ship or plane). Unlike the harmless mole snake, these guys are mildly venomous and regularly bite humans, especially kids. There are so many of them now that they cause regular power cuts from crawling along the electrical lines, they've decimated the entire bird population and local trees, and people regularly wake up to find one has crawled into bed with them. Hello, my worst fucking nightmare! The snake plague is so bad that locals are trying to fight them by [air-dropping mice that have been laced with poison](https://www.sciencealert.com/guam-s-plague-of-snakes-is-having-a-devastating-impact-on-the-trees?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It’s not like people learned their lesson about mucking about with island ecosystems, either. As late as the 1950s, new species were being introduced to Robben Island (just for the lulz), including the fallow deer, which - YOU GUESSED IT - overbred and have to be culled regularly. The most recent cull was in [2017](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-40366696?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) , when they killed over 400 deer. Tortoises were brought to the island in 1958, and again in 1995 (which are at least native to the Cape, but were not native to the island). When I went, there were so many tortoises roaming about that you had to be careful not to kick them as you walked. So, when you walk on the island, you crunch around on bones. Bones on bones on bones. Every generation, I think, likes to laugh at how ridiculous people were in the olden-days, secretly congratulating themselves that NOW we've got it all figured out, once and for all. The story of Robben Island's rabbit problem is an anecdote about human folly: how we disrupt ecosystems we don't even understand, how we erase species we haven't even named, how we wipe out ancient cultures we know nothing about. And how we keep doing that, over and over again, laying down skeletons on top of skeletons. We haven't learned better. Sometimes I wonder what our descendants will read about when they learn the history of our present (or watch high-res VR re-enactments of through their optical implants). What they will shake their heads at, marvelling at how we could have been so blind, how we could have destroyed so much without even understanding what we were destroying. Wishing you a pygmy mammoth or other weird island animal of your dreams, Sam --- I relied a lot on Nechama Brodie's brilliant *[The Cape Town Book: A Guide to the City's History, People and Places](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/27771939-the-cape-town-book?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* in writing this piece, and really can't recommend it highly enough. I also used an outdated but still fascinating book called *Robben Island: Out of Reach, Out of Mind* by Simon de Villiers from 1971\. [The Robben Island museum's own website](https://www.robben-island.org.za/timeline?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is full of fascinating stories. Ravanya Naidoo's [analysis of climate and ecological details](http://wiredspace.wits.ac.za/jspui/bitstream/10539/21742/1/Ravanya%20Naidoo%5FMSc%5F692349.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) in Jan Van Riebeeck's diaries was extremely helpful, and you can read [an English translation of the originals diaries here](https://www.gendatabase.com/books/Precis%20of%20the%20Archives%20Cape%20of%20Good%20Hope%20-%201656%20-%201658%20-%20Riebeeck's%20Journal.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), if you're so inclined. The novel *Eilande* by Dan Sleigh (translated as *Islands*) a fab but overly-long look at how gross the early Dutch Cape was. And my adventure buddy and beloved friend Dr. Charne Lavery took the photo at the top of this piece and edited this for me (thanks Charne!). --- ## Updates from Sam-land Oh boy, friends, summer in England is VASTLY SUPERIOR to winter in England, especially now that the lockdown rules are easing. Since moving here, my mood has become a perfect barometer of the weather, and the weather's great right now. - I've been on a reading glut recently! Notable mentions include Mia Arendse's brilliant *[Mermaid Fillet](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57985771-mermaid-fillet?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* and Adrienne Rich's poetry collection *[The Dream of a Common Language](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/364141.The%5FDream%5Fof%5Fa%5FCommon%5FLanguage?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, which includes the stunning poem ["Phantasia for Elvira Shatayev"](https://missedstations.tumblr.com/post/25775724338/phantasia-for-elvira-shatayev-adrienne-rich?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), the leader of a women's climbing team who all died in a storm on Lenin Peak. These lines have been rattling around in my head for days: "we will not live to settle for less / we have dreamed of this all of our lives". - I weighed in on the current state of South African budgeting apps [in this piece by Elna Schutz](https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/article/2021-06-01-personal-finance-apps-can-act-as-the-ringmaster-to-your-budgetary-circus/?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=S6Q1Rtviw8&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) in *Daily Maverick.* - My partner and I finally managed to get an [allotment](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allotment%5F%28gardening%29?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), so I am now officially middle aged. I bought a hoe yesterday and I've never been more thrilled with a purchase. See, this is what happens when you play too much Stardew Valley. ### Udemy course, Power Hour and a new website URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/udemy-course/ Last updated: 2021-05-25T07:26:33.000Z Hello, grownups :) I've got two gifts for you today, and one thank you! ## Gift 1: New Udemy Course Some people learn better from video than from books, so I've just launched a video course on Udemy. It's called *Money 101: A Personal Finance Guide for the Confused*. Instead of attacking you with math and financy jargon, we focus on the three fundamentals that matter most: 1. Assets 2. Compounding 3. Diversification In this lighthearted romp through the world of money, we'll talk about practical questions like why budgets don't work, how to trick your brain into saving more money, and what the heck the stock market actually is. Ideal for young people at the start of their careers, or for anybody who wants to get back to basics and feel in control of their finances again. If you've read my books (or you've been a newsletter subscriber for a while), these will all be concepts you're familiar with already, just in a fancy new format. And my gift to you: you can take the course for free, **for the next 3 days**, by clicking this lovely shiny link: [Get three days free](https://www.udemy.com/course/money-101/?couponCode=83464D15737DB0C82AC8&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) You are welcome to share this link with somebody you know who might like it (just don't blast it on social media, please). If you like the course, **please help me out by leaving a review**! Getting reviews helps bump the course up in Udemy's discover page, which means it's more likely to get discovered by other people who might find it helpful. ## Gift 2: JSE Power Hour on Thursday If you're not sick of webinars yet, we're hosting a free one on Thursday (6:30pm SA time) talking about the basics of money management. This is the rescheduled event, after the last one's technical issues. [Sign up here.](https://justonelap.com/events/jse-power-hour-manage-your-money-like-a-rock-star/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## A thank you: the revamped website One of the most practical pieces of advice I ever received as someone who would perpetually apologise for stuff, is "when you feel like you need to say sorry, say thank you instead" (this doesn't apply when you do actually terrible things, obvs, just if you're somebody who's constantly throwing the word "sorry" around like it's confetti). So instead of saying "I'm so sorry that the website was down last week" I'm saying "thank you for being so patient when the website was down last week"! For a while now, I've wanted to move this newsletter off the likeafuckinggrownup.com domain to sambeckbessinger.com. Firstly, because I'm a lazy sod and should never have attempted to maintain two websites, and second, because as my life has become more about writing fiction and less writing about adulting, I've felt like I'm not always delivering on the implicit promise that the "like a grownup" brand makes. I hate feeling that some of you signed up for adulting tips and got hoodwinked into reading about all the fiction projects I'm working on, too. So... this blog/newsletter/pile of words has now all been moved over to sambeckbessinger.com, where I will continue to post missives about the stuff I'm thinking about. Often, I think about money and freedom and careers and all the stuff you came here for, but sometimes I think about octopus brains and the 90s zine movement and why writing novels is so bloody hard, and I'll be posting about that kind of thing too. If that's not what you're on board for, I totally understand. No hard feelings! There's an unsubscribe button at the bottom of this mail. Thank you for reading, for however long you did. But if you're keen to keep riding this wild life-rollercoaster with me, awesome! **Thank you**. Each and every one of you make it possible for me to have the career I've always wanted to have, and I'm so damn grateful (and excited to start pelting you with facts about octopus brains). [The new website is here](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/)! Aaaaaaaaand it's full of bugs. The shop is still down. I haven't added search functionality yet. But it will all get better, I promise! I thank you for your patience ;) \-- Wishing you gratitude, and an extra brain for each of your limbs (octopuses have nerve clusters in each one of their arms that allow each one to "think" fairly independently), Sam ### The Secret to Superhuman Strength URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-secret-to-superhuman-strength/ Last updated: 2021-05-17T14:05:03.000Z Hello grownups! My problem with so much of the fitness content in the world is that it's way too tangled up in the beauty narrative. It's all like, "Oh girl, get that summer body!" "Dudes, get swole to impress the ladies!" Seriously, the most highly recommended weightlifting book aimed at women on the r/fitness subreddit is a book called *Strong Curves: a Women's Guide to Building a Better Butt and Body* (yup, it was written by a dude). And that sucks, because the subtext is that if you're not white or cisgendered or young or naturally skinny and effortlessly toned, then fuck you, loser, why even try? And that just makes fitness really alienating for anyone who isn’t those things. Which is a problem, because there are many important reasons to exercise that have nothing to do with what your ass looks like. That's why it was such a joy for me to discover Alison Bechdel's new book, *[The Secret to Superhuman Strength](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/53968436-the-secret-to-superhuman-strength?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, a graphic novel-style memoir about her lifelong fascination with exercise. Bechdel was born in the 1960s, so she's seen dozens of fitness crazes through the decades, and enthusiastically embraced every single one: from the Charles Atlas bodybuilder programmes in the 60s all the way to the spin classes and HIIT programmes and mountain biking movements of today. ![A page from Alison Bechdel's "The Secret to Superhuman Strength" about learning karate.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/05/bechdel-karate.jpeg) Bechdel joining one of the few women's karate clubs in the 80s It's a tour through the exercise trends of the past half-century, and an analysis of how each one reflected the cultural concerns of its time. She goes back further and considers the earlier generations of social progressives who sought inner transformation through physical fitness: Margaret Fuller and Ralph Waldo Emerson, Jack Kerouac, Adrienne Rich, and the Romantic poets, all of the often "drug-addled, nonconformist seekers of intensity and mystical visions" who got super into mountain climbing. But Bechdel really shines as a memoirist (if you haven't, please read her magnificent dysfunctional family memoir *[Fun Home](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/26135825-fun-home?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*). This isn't a self-help or a how-to book, but a memoir of a person who is obsessed with self-help and how-to books. So it's an intensely personal story, not just about skiing and spin classes, but also about Zen Buddhism, queer relationships, psychedelic drugs, the death of Bechdel's mother, her struggles with workaholicism and alcoholism, the stress of professional success, and her obsession with the apparel brand Patagonia. At its heart, it's a book about the power (and limits) of personal transformation in the face of mortality. ![A page from Alison Bechdel's book](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/05/bechdal-death.jpeg) This book hit me at exactly the right time, because I've recently been working through my own relationship with chronic back pain. When I was twenty years old, I parked outside the Michaelis Library at UCT and found that I couldn't get out of the car. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't swing my legs out of the door and straighten them. It was the weirdest thing: I wasn't in pain (not yet); I just absolutely could not stand up. Sitting was fine, though, so I drove myself to hospital, parked in a bay, phoned the ER, and politely asked them to come fetch me from my car, ten meters away. I was diagnosed with a spine issue called degenerative disc disorder and told to move as little as possible for a few weeks, apart from a daily bout of torture billed as physiotherapy. Weeks turned into months, and the pain became unbearable. After three months of lying prone in my bed watching LOST reruns I could barely follow because of the heavy painkillers I was on (sure, that might not have been due to the painkillers), I was finally referred to a surgeon, who sliced into my spine to clear away the loose bone fragments that were damaging my sciatic nerve. Three more months of recovery, and even more bewildering painkiller-tinged LOST seasons, and I could walk again. Being diagnosed with a disease called "degenerative" anything sucks. "Degenerative" implies inevitable worsening. My dad was diagnosed with the same thing, and had to have several of his vertebrae fused together in his mid-30s. So it all felt predetermined. Just another error in my DNA. The doctors told me that I'd need more surgery in a few years. Five if I was lucky. And then my discs would inevitably crumble to dust and I'd need to get them replaced with synthetic ones. They suggested pregnancy would be difficult for me until a couple of years after that disc replacement surgery, so they pushed me to get it done sooner rather than later. But surgery's kak scary, so I wanted the opposite: I wanted to delay it for as long as I could. The field of spine surgery is changing very quickly, I reasoned, so every additional year I waited meant I was likely to have a better outcome. So I doubled-down on strengthening my back muscles to try to buy myself as much time as I could. And then something surprising happened: I got fit. Not very fit, mind you, just much fitter than I'd ever been in my life (like, I could run five kilometres). And my pain didn't just lessen; it vanished. I discovered that I love hiking. I briefly got into weightlifting. I did a bunch of yoga. I stopped thinking of myself as a broken person. Five years went by, then ten, and my back was stronger than ever. But still, I believed I was just buying time. I kept it together pretty well for the first year of the pandemic, all things considered. I clung to routine like it was a life-raft. But somewhere between lockdown two and three, my exercise habits started slipping. I started spending more and more time hunched over my desk, sometimes going days without moving my body further than the distance between my office and my kitchen. And sure enough, my back pain came back. So I saw a spine specialist last week. And I told him the whole long saga. And I said, "I shouldn't be surprised. I knew I'd need surgery eventually. I bought ten years, but I guess the inevitable has now inevitably happened." And he smiled. And he told me, "the things we thought we knew about back pain ten years ago are not what we believe about back pain today." And then, friends, he proceeded to BLOW MY DAMN MIND with these facts: - Specialists no longer diagnose young people with degenerative disc disorder. They've discovered it's an unhelpful framework for understanding back pain in people who aren't elderly. - We now know that telling someone with a spine like mine to lie flat on their back for six months is basically the worst thing you can do for them. - Vertebrae fusion and disc replacement are disproven therapies and are almost never prescribed any more in cases like mine. They have been shown to relieve symptoms in the short term, but exacerbate the underlying issues in the long term. - I have a genetic predisposition to thin vertebral discs, yes. But there is absolutely no reason that I can't work to strengthen my back, and get more movement in my spine, and retrain my pain system to not overreact to pain signals and render me immobile when I'm sore. So, basically, a bunch of the narratives I've been telling myself about myself for my entire adult life are wrong, and have been limiting my sense of what I can do, for no good reason. Wild, right? I'm still reeling. But *good* reeling, not like "I just watched the season 6 finale of LOST and I'm furious" reeling. Reeling like, "oh wow, there's absolutely no reason I can't become as strong as anyone else, and this core thing I've believed about myself for half my life is wrong." \-- In *[Mindset: The New Psychology of Success](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40745.Mindset?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, psychologist Carol Dweck explores the idea that people who believe that talents and abilities are immutable (the "fixed mindset") find it much harder to flourish than people who believe that most abilities can be improved with effort (the "growth" mindset). In [a 1998 study with 5th graders](https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1998-04530-003?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), Dweck (and collaborator Claudia Mueller) split the class in half and gave all of the kids a simple puzzle test. After succeeding, they praised half the group for their **intelligence** ("well done, you're so smart!") and the other half for their **effort** ("well done, you worked so hard!"). Then they gave both groups a new set of puzzles that ranged in difficulty. The group that had been praised for their **effort** quickly chose to progress to the more difficult tasks, because they wanted to learn. The group that had been praised for their **ability** stuck to the easy puzzles to ensure that they'd keep succeeding. The problem with kids who get called "smart" or "talented athletes" or "musical prodigies" or whatever and develop a fixed mindset, is that **failure becomes terrifying**. Here is the logic of a "fixed mindset" kid who's told they're smart: - This adult is proud of me because I am smart. - Smart is what you ARE, it is an unchangeable personality trait. - Smart people do well at intellectual challenges. - Therefore, if I ever FAIL at an intellectual challenge, then it means the adult was wrong and I'm not actually smart, I'm a terrible stupid fraud. - If being smart is an unchangeable personality trait, then being not-smart must be an unchangeable personality trait, too. - Therefore, failing at anything ever is a life-threatening disaster that must be avoided at all costs. Whereas a "growth" mindset kid fails at something and shrugs it off and tries harder next time. No big deal. This whole experience has been a powerful reminder for me about my own tendency to fall into "fixed mindset" when it comes to my relationship with my body ("I'm a weakling with granny-back, doomed to a lifetime of pain - DOOOOOOMED!"). Scientific knowledge evolves. We have to evolve with it. Our sense of self is constructed by stories. Stories we tell about who we are and what we're capable of. Those stories are damn powerful. And sometimes, they're untrue. ![Growth, ha! We all think we want to grow. But in fact we resist it at every step because deep down we believe that if we don't change, we won't die. Well, let me clue you in. We're going to die if we don't change.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/05/bechdal-change-1.jpeg) Find Alison Bechdel's *The Secret to Superhuman Strength* at your local indie bookstore or library. Wishing you inner peace and the ability to touch your toes (I'm working on it), Sam --- ## Updates from Sam-Land ![Sam pointing at a sign that says, "Bookdash"](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/05/bookdash.jpeg) - I spent just the funnest Saturday collaborating with Anja Venter, Wilna Combrinck and Carla Lever to write a new open-licensed children's book with [Book Dash](https://bookdash.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). IN TWELVE HOURS. It was exhausting but so, so fun. I'll share the finished book with you next week. - Last month, I was super excited to be hosting a free presentation for JSE Power Hour about how to manage your money like a champ. Hundreds of people tuned in, and then, fifteen minutes into the presentation... my internet died. So we're trying again **on Thursday 27 May at 5:30pm SAST**, on a computer screen near you. [Book a free slot here](https://justonelap.com/events/jse-power-hour-manage-your-money-like-a-rock-star/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- it will be grand! - I've been adoring *[The Overstory](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40180098-the-overstory?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* by Richard Powers, which is a book about trees and ecological grief. I keep stopping to copy perfect sentences out of it, like these: ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/05/image.png) ### Kids picture books you should read right now no matter how old you are URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/kids-picture-books/ Last updated: 2021-04-30T07:47:14.000Z Hello grownups! As a kid, my favourite picture book was *Poorly Pig*. In this darkly comic tale of woe, increasingly awful things happen to a cartoon animal. On Monday, Poorly Pig gets a cold. On Tuesday, Poorly Pig falls down the stairs and breaks his arm. And so it goes, until by Sunday, Poorly Pig is run over by a truck and is in a full-body cast in hospital. I have no idea why four-year-old Sam found this story so screamingly funny, but she did. Four-year-old Sam had a dark sense of humour; I suspect most children do. A lot of why I loved this book was about how my mum read it to me. She'd get totally into it, do all the voices, really ham up the repeated sarcastic refrain of "poor Poorly Pig!". I think it was as fun for her as it was for me. It's extremely easy (and so satisfying) to make small kids laugh. I recently had my friend George's daughter Zoe in stitches over Zoom for like ten minutes, just by pretending to hide off-screen, then reappearing. It's easy for this to go to your head! You start to think, "wait, am I actually HILARIOUS? Am I a comedic genius?" And then before you know it, BOOM, you're laughing at your own puns and sprouting Dad Jokes all over the place. The easy laughter of toddlers is the crucible in which Dad Jokes are made. I've been reading a lot of picture books recently (it's research for a new [Book Dash](https://bookdash.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) book I'm working on) and I swear they've gotten SO MUCH FUNNIER since I was a kid. The classics are still wonderful: *Goodnight Moon*, *The Gruffalo, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Where the Wild Things Are, The Cat in the Hat, Harold and the Purple Crayon...* but there's a new crop of picture books that you probably haven't heard of unless you've had small children in the past few years, and they're bloody adorable, no matter what age you are. My favourites are the ones that play with the interactive experience of reading with a small child. A lot of them get quite meta, in fact. You don't even have to be a child, or have a child, to enjoy them. There are some nice people on YouTube who will read them to you, and they do all the voices ;) Enjoy! ***It's a Tiger!* by David LaRochelle** ***Cat Secrets* by Jef Czekaj** ***The Book With No Pictures* by B. J. Novak** This video is just the first half of the book, but B. J. Novak reading it himself is the best. ***I Want my Hat Back* by Jon Klassen (the sequels *This is Not My Hat* and *We Found a Hat* are also great)** ***TRIANGLE* by Mac Barnett** ***We Are in a Book!* by Mo Willems (his *Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus!* is also great)** I've mentioned some of [my favourite Book Dash books](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/lets-all-make-gifts/) before, and you can also watch them being read by their writers. **Here's Lauren Beukes reading *And Also!*** 9a , **And Sam Wilson reading *The Elephant in the Room:*** **Notable mentions:** - *A Pig Parade is a Terrible Idea* by Michael Ian Black - *How to Trick the Tooth Fairy* by Erin Danielle Russell - *Stuck* by Oliver Jeffers - *Pokko and the Drum* by Matthew Forsythe - *Why?* by Adam Rex - *The Monster at the End of this Book* by Jon Stone I'm always looking for recommendations for wonderful picture books. Hit reply and tell me about your favourites, friends! Wishing you sneaky tigers, cat secrets and also hats, Sam --- ## Updates from Sam-Land We went up the Norfolk coast last weekend and tried to go to the "beach" and it was basically like being in the Arctic. We did have a great time exploring the weird little seaside towns, including literal joke shops, an abandoned funfair, and a grumpy duck that caused a traffic jam by refusing to get off the main road through the village. It's pretty great to finally get to know this odd island I've moved to! - Currently reading *[The Incendiaries](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/36679056-the-incendiaries?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=N0XH1zAeKK&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* by R. O. Kwon, which is a supremely well-written novel about a religious terrorist group, and *The [Story of My Tits](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25652567-the-story-of-my-tits?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=5NFFY99dWg&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* by Jennifer Hayden, a poignant graphic novel about cancer. - Currently obsessed with a bonkers Bachelor-style reality show from 2014 called "I Wanna Marry 'Harry'", where twelve American women compete for the love of a man they believe is Prince Harry of England. Spoiler alert: he is not the real Prince Harry. I know, shocker, right? ### (Don't) do all the things! URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/productivity-isnt-doing-all-the-things/ Last updated: 2021-05-19T13:10:11.000Z Hello, grownups! I regard myself as something of a connoisseur of productivity systems. Implementing new productivity systems is my all-time favourite way to procrastinate. And hoo boy, I have tried THEM ALL. Over the years, I've Got Things Done, I've Bujo'd, I've Pomodoroed, I've Kanbanned, I've Omnifocussed, and I've Habit Stacked. I've Basecamped and Scrummed and Gantted. Heck, I've even Eaten the Frog. And if you have no idea what any of those things are, congratulations for having more interesting hobbies than I do. I really don't believe there's a perfect strategy for being productive. There is no best system that works for everybody. No, friends, each of us is doomed to cobble together our own rickety collection of hacks, tools and rituals in a vain attempt to keep our lives together. And Neurodivergent/ADHD-types have to work harder than most. So when I tell you about my productivity system, please do not mistake this for advice. I think my productivity system is **insane.** It's a weird Frankenblend of GTD, Bujo, CGP Grey and Kanban. It's far too complicated. But I *need* it. Deep down, I am an absolute mess of a person and my productivity systems are all that stand between me and the dark chaos of the universe. I need a bulletproof productivity system because without it I become this Golden Retriever: The core wisdom I have gleaned from the seven billion productivity books I've read in my life: - Don't try to keep things in your head; build a system you can trust to remind you of what's important at the right time. - The routines you have are more important than the tools you use. - Don't keep things in your inbox. - Build a forgiving system that will not haunt you with undone tasks forever or make you feel like you are "never getting to the bottom of your infinite to do list". Make your to do list finite and fresh. - Find a way to connect what you're doing **today** with what you want to do **with your life**. My productivity stack is made up of a five (FIVE!) different layers, from highest level to most granular: 1. Four core values. 2. One seasonal theme. 3. A project list (and its shadow, the "maybe someday" dump) 4. A master to do list. 5. A weekly spread. I know, insane. Oh, to be one of those people who just wake up in the morning saying, "Today? I don't know. I'll just do whatever seems important." and then somehow live perfectly happy and successful lives. I hate those people. I bet those people have perfect bed hair and impeccable bowel movements, too. ### Core values At the heart of my whole system are my core "deathbed values". Like, when I'm looking back at my life from my deathbed, I want to feel like my life embodied these things. I have four ("do good", "make things", "security for myself and my loved ones", "a life of beauty and adventures"). Yes, they're hand-wavey, but I set these values for myself over a decade ago, and they've not changed. I try to keep my core values present in my productivity system by sorting all of my projects into them (with simple colour-coding). If a project doesn't fit into one of those categories or support one of those values, then I have to question why the heck I'm doing it. Every year in December, I put aside one morning and reflect on whether I'm living up to my core values, and how I can do better. I've been doing this exercise together with my lifelong bestie for years and years, and it's wonderful. Often, new project ideas arise from doing this reflection. ### Seasonal themes A shorter-term challenge to myself. This is an idea I've taken from CGP Grey, and [I wrote about how I think about themes here](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-winter-of-weird/). I set a new theme at the beginning of each season. Currently, I'm doing a Spring of Apprenticeship. ### Project list ![A list of projects. Each one is written on a sticky note, and there are about 13 in total.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/04/projects.png) My colour-coded projects list At the back of my notebook, I keep a list of active projects. These are colour-coded in line with my values, which is a great way to see at a glance where I'm not paying enough attention to one part of my life at the moment. And if I can't tell easily which colour a project should be, it should not be on the list! This list is deceptively powerful, because what matters isn't what's on the list, **it's what's not on the list.** The trick to an effective projects list is that it must be limited in size. You are only allowed to do a handful of projects at once. I've got thirteen on my list right now, which is three more than I like to have (and I can feel it - I've been unusually fatigued recently). It helps to think of a projects list like you only have a certain number of **slots** available. I have ten. You might have three, or twenty, but there must be a limit. So, where to projects go if they don't fit? They have to go into an overflow area. Mine is a tab on my tasks spreadsheet labelled "maybe someday". It's for all those things that I'd like to do, but can't right now. Things like "learn to play more than 4 chords on the Ukulele" and "write that story about a retirement home for superheroes" and "finally hang that bloody mirror" all get moved onto that list. And when they're there, you are giving yourself permission to stop thinking about them. They're not gone! But they are not important enough to have your attention right now, sorry! Honestly, a "maybe someday" list is one of the most beautiful gifts you can give yourself, because it keeps your actual TO DO list from becoming an infinite list of things you feel guilty about not having done. This was probably the single most helpful thing I learned in all my productivity obsessing: productivity isn't about DOING ALL THE THINGS! It's about doing the right things. And the older I get, the more my productivity systems have become about finding ways to focus, and reminding me **what I have said no to** (for now). I update my projects list every Friday, in my weekly review. ### Master to do list + weekly review ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/04/todo-1.png) My master to do list My favourite productivity book ever is *[Getting Things Done](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Getting%5FThings%5FDone?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* by David Allen. The best gift I got from it is the idea of a **weekly review**. This is a two-hour slot I have blocked out in my diary every Friday, where I: - **Clear out my inboxes.** ALL of them. The first inbox to clear is my brain (writing down all the small tasks niggling at me), then I gather other tasks from my notebooks, email inbox, calendar, Downloads folder, messaging apps, open tabs in my browser... everywhere you keep little unconscious "notes to self". And I clear them. I capture all of my tasks in my master to do list (which is currently a Google Spreadsheet, but at other times has been an app). And ahhhh, the sweet sweet feeling of ending every week with fresh inboxes (yes, often I achieve this by just deleting stuff I can't be arsed to deal with, but this is another good way to filter out tasks that are not worth your time). - **Review my projects.** Go through my projects list. Ask myself if it does still reflect the projects that are actually important to me right now. For each project, ask what the next action is I need to take to progress it and add that to my master to do list. - **Clear up my master to do list.** Delete things that don't need to happen any more. Move tasks that feel stale onto the "maybe someday" list where they can stop staring at me accusingly. - **Choose what tasks I'm actually going to try to do that week,** and move them to my weekly spread. I can do all this in 30 minutes if I need to, because usually a fair chunk of time is taken up by doing "2-minute" tasks like responding to emails. My two hour weekly review is the linchpin that keeps my whole life functioning. On weeks when I skip it, I become as useless as Octodad. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/04/octodad.gif) Octodad is a video game where you play a caring father who is secretly a clumsy octopus, trying not to get caught Periodically, I like to nuke my whole to do list and start a fresh one. It's like how moving house occasionally is the best way to force you to deal with the dusty boxes packed in your garage. ### Weekly Spread ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/04/IMG_20210423_140701.jpg) Hardly #bujo porn, but it works I'm an analog girl at heart, so the very last thing I do in my weekly review is choose just a tiny subset of tasks and write them down as a physical to-do list in my notebook. [Some people create absolutely swoon-worthy versions](https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/bulletjournal/?hl=en&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) of this, but the simple layout here pretty much works for me. I have my notebook with me constantly, and this becomes the thing I refer to throughout the day, and merrily cross tasks out / colour in bubbles when I complete things (if I had gold stars, I'd give them to myself). The point of this is to **curate a subset** of the things that are most important. Success is a really short to-do list, filled with only impactful things. I usually aim to have just one or two chunky tasks that are my true focus for the week, and no more than five small things I can do when my energy flags late in the afternoon. Depending on what kind of work you do, other people might be able to tackle ten big things and thirty small ones, or even fewer things than I can. But trial and error has taught me that this is the realistic number of things that I can do in one week. Sometimes extra things come up during the week (that's what the extra white space is for), but if it's not as urgent/important as what's already there, I try to put it in the Master List, not on this small focus list. The point isn't to do all the things. It's to do the fewest things that will allow you to achieve your goals, leaving you with more time to look at flowers/go roller-skating/hang out with your mum and all the other non-task-based-things that make life worth living (I do sometimes try to put things like that on tasklists, but again, I am an insane person). Figuring out *what to do* is an essential skill if you're self-employed or ever aspire to be. If you don't have a boss giving you direction, you get to pick directions for yourself. But figuring out **what's worth doing** is what productivity really is. So, find a way to do that. Don't try my way. It's a truly ridiculous system. Wishing you colourful stationery, roller blades, and direction in life, Sam --- ## EasyEquities power user? I recently discovered Gareth Stephenson's brilliant Chrome extension that gives you extra functionality like blurring values, seeing the rand value of USD accounts, and exporting everything to CSV. Super useful for EE power users! [Download it here.](https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/ee-extras/fjomjjhigccfjmfickjgpmoepphmnofe?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) --- ## Updates from Sam-Land ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/04/image-5.png) You know what's great? Being outside. You know what's even better? Being outside WITH PEOPLE (up to 6). So far, English Spring + the easing of lockdown restrictions is a delightful combo. Highly recommended. 10/10, would Spring again. Here's what I've been up to: - Pitches, pitches, pitches. I've spent a lot of the past year trying to convince somebody to give me money to make a TV show with my friends. This is a big thing to ask people! But we're actually getting close to receiving an offer, I think. Crossing fingers! - *Magpies*... oh man. It was *all going so well*. I was literally finishing the epilogue of the draft that I thought was ready to start sending to book agents. And then... I realised that I needed to change the entire first act. It's so painful to go back and rip out a lot of words I really like, and restructure the whole skeleton of the thing, but I have to hope it will be worth it. Sometimes things just take longer than you thought they will. SIGH. - For those of you who tried to join me for the [JSE Power Hour](https://www.jse.co.za/events/power-hour-manage-your-money-rock-star?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) talk last week, I'm sorry that it was all such a disaster. My internet connection cut out about five minutes in, and I DID NOT NOTICE, and merrily did all 45 minutes of presentation to nobody. My apologies. We will reschedule! - There are these adorable little free book exchange boxes dotted around my neighbourhood. I picked up John Green's *[Looking for Alaska](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/99561.Looking%5Ffor%5FAlaska?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=4gbqsaKLbI&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* on Monday and tore through it in two days. It's a teen romance story that's equal parts funny and heartbreaking, and also features the most hilarious description of a blow job I've ever read. - My buddy Jon Keevy has this wonderful YouTube channel for South African nerds called Zarnia Games & Geekery. He recently interviewed comedian/actor Siv Ngesi (who is wonderful in Showmax's *Tali's Baby Diary*), who had a lot to say about money and hustling. The interview goes live at 6pm today, [watch it here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKte366uyPQ&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Finally, I wanted to share this little miracle of a poem Finuala Dowling wrote about the Cape Town fires last week, specifically, the UCT Library. My thoughts are with everyone who had their lives disrupted. I was watching from afar, aching with you. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/04/image-6.png) ### Climate change as a question of justice URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/justice-as-geo-engineering/ Last updated: 2021-06-03T14:41:06.000Z Hello, grownups! Wanna see something unfair? Here are the countries who have contributed the most to climate change:\* 1. The United States (25% of the world's emissions since 1751) 2\. The EU + UK (22%) 3\. China (13%) And here's a map of places in the world where it will be so hot that people **could die just by being outside** in the year 2050, if we keep emitting as much as we have been:\*\* ![map of the world showing the worst climate impacts around the equator](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/04/image-2.png) This map was created by researchers at the University of Hawaii Manoa. You can play with other scenarios here: https://maps.esri.com/globalriskofdeadlyheat/# On top of being scary, climate change is also **deeply unfair**. Burning coal, oil and gas (+ colonisation + exploitation + slavery) is a big part of how rich countries got rich. And now poor countries will suffer the worst impacts of global warming\*\*\*. It's kind of like if your neighbour got rich making banana cream pies and just threw all the banana peels into your garden, so now you're slipping on banana peels all the time. Only instead of banana peels, it's droughts and flooding and mass deaths. The whole thing kinda makes you want to throw a banana cream pie in somebody's face, doesn't it? You can't talk about the climate emergency without discussing justice. This is about really immediate and practical questions: climate impacts cost money. If it gets too hot to grow staple crops, you need to import more food. If your city starts flooding, you have to build flood barriers and rebuild damage. If there's a decade-long drought, you have to build desalination plants or dig dams deeper. We have to **adapt** to the changing climate, and that costs a lot of money. So, how do we account for those costs fairly? How do we make sure that the people who created the problem bear the costs of what they did? How do you make your neighbour come and clean up the pile of banana peels that's now stinking up your trampoline? Here's the good news: there's already an international framework to do this. It's called the **Green Climate Fund\*\*\*\***, and it was created by the 2009 Copenhagen accord and then strengthened by the 2015 Paris Agreement. You've probably heard of these agreements but might not know much about them (I didn't); but basically, they're international agreements about how the world should tackle climate change. The truly gorgeous thing about them is that almost every nation on earth agreed to them (America briefly got cold feet, but they're back in now). I can't even get my whole family to agree what takeout to get, but somehow, these negotiators got *the entire world*to agree on a plan to tackle climate change, and that's pretty phenomenal. The **Green Climate Fund** is the part of the Paris Agreement that interests me the most. The plan is that rich countries should contribute to a central fund, that uses that money to help poor countries cope with the climate emergency. It can also be used to help countries grow their economies in a way that doesn't emit more pollution; for instance, a lot of villages in India rely on diesel generators for their (unreliable) energy, so building more renewable energy sources is good for the climate and also decreases poverty in those places. It's in rich countries' own interest to share their green technology and invest in renewable energy production in poor countries. There are two sides to reducing (mitigating) the amount that the climate will change over the coming century: putting less pollution INTO the atmosphere, and taking more of the pollutants OUT of it. It's the rich countries who are putting most of the pollution IN, still. But poor countries have a powerful role to play in taking it OUT. ![Infographic showing current emissions sources as electricity production 25%, food agriculture and land use 24% and industry 21%, and current sinks as land 24, coastal and ocean sinks 17%](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/03/image-2.png) The two main ways carbon gets out of the atmosphere is by plants eating it (thanks, plants!) and the ocean and soil absorbing it. Healthy natural ecosystems (like the Amazon rainforest) literally keep us alive. And people living in poor countries are the custodians of most of these ecosystems. There's something powerful about this: the opportunity for power relationships to be rebalanced around the recognition of how much humanity relies on the natural world, and how much people in rich countries rely on people in poor countries to protect it. Justice is a byproduct of addressing the climate emergency, because the climate is the ultimate reminder of how interconnected our world really is. If we do it right, solutions like the Green Climate Fund have the potential to be a transformative tool for international justice. A lot of things that are good for people are good for the planet too. Public transport systems are good for the planet. Empowering women is good for the planet. Better healthcare is good for the planet. Creating jobs building public infrastructure is good for the planet. Education is good for the planet. And "good for the planet" means "good for people in rich countries". And this fact gives my cynical little heart hope! There's the "you should pay for the damage you did to us" part of the argument, but there's also a "you need to invest in us for your own self interest" part of the argument. *The rotting banana peels are stinking up your garden as much as mine, bucko, so come help me clean them up.* There are two big problems with the Green Climate Fund, right now: 1. The Paris Agreement doesn't **legally bind** countries to contribute. It just, kinda, asks them nicely. So far, [rich countries haven't contributed nearly as much as they promised](https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-11-06/rich-countries-are-missing-the-100-billion-climate-finance-goal?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Surprise, surprise. 2. We're still figuring **out exactly how the fund should work**. There are controversial questions like the role of private finance and who owns the infrastructure that's invested in. But both of these problems seem solvable, to me. I'm cheered by the thought that the framework for the fund already exists, and there's already international buy-in to the concept. Yes, we need to work through the details, and establish stronger legal commitments and consequences. But we don't need to imagine something from scratch: the blueprint is there, now we just need to build the house. We need people in rich countries to demonstrate, join climate justice movements, show your leaders that they have your mandate to increase their contributions to the Green Climate Fund, and do more to reduce their own carbon emissions. Do it now, because [the next big climate change meeting is **this November**](https://ukcop26.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), in Glasgow. Do it because it's right, and do it because your own prosperity depends on it. Wishing you justice and banana cream pies, Sam --- ### Disclaimers and digressions Want to learn more about this issue? Kurzgesagt has a great video about it. \*[Per person, the picture is a bit different](https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/co-emissions-per-capita?country=~CHN&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), with the oil countries taking up most of the top 10 - Qatar, Trinidad and Tobago, Kuwait - and then Australia, the United States and Canada as the worst offenders. Per person, China is only slightly above the world's average emissions. However, the rich countries vs. poor countries point otherwise mostly stands. Here's a full graph and the data source: ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/04/image.png) \*\* Heat isn't the only awful consequence of climate change. We will also see an increase in floods, droughts, fires, hurricanes, disease, as well as sea-level rise. Many of these effects WILL be felt in richer countries, too. \*\*\* I'm going to refer to "rich countries" and "poor countries" here. It's imperfect, but I find alternatives ("developed/developing", "Global North/South", "decolonising", "industrialising") inaccurate or academicy. Also, it's not always fair to talk about whole nation states as being "responsible" for climate change. There's inequality within countries as well as between countries, and it's usually the super-rich who are responsible for most of the consumption, and specific corporations who've played an outsized role in polluting. \*\*\*\* The Green Climate Fund [isn't the only global climate fund](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Climate%5Ffinance?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#:~:text=Climate%20finance%20is%20%E2%80%9Cfinance%20that,Nations%20Framework%20Convention%20on%20Climate), just the biggest. I'm referring to it throughout for simplicity. Thanks to [Project Drawdown](https://drawdown.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for the infographic about carbon sources and sinks. --- ### Questions about debt review Last month, I wrote [a guide to getting out of debt](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/get-out-of-debt/), which mentioned debt review. I received a couple of follow-up questions: - If one applies for debt review does it not affect your chances of getting a new job of ones prospective employer does a credit check? - If I'm under review and I get a lump sum of cash am I allowed to pay it off quicker without the “interest”? - Can one rent a new flat or will the agent also do a credit check and not approve my application? I've added the answers to [the bottom of that article](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/get-out-of-debt/). --- ### Updates from Sam-Land ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/04/image-3.png) This is the EXTREMELY HAPPY FACE of a girl taking a sip of a beer IN A BEER GARDEN for the first time in many, many months. Oh man, it's been a wild few weeks. The UK has finally started opening up, which has been bloody wonderful. It's been a struggle to juggle the seven billion projects I'm working on with my constant desire to just be hanging out in beer gardens with my friends, honestly! Also, what a relief to finally be able to start making friends! - I'm hosting a money workshop online with the JSE this evening. [Register here.](https://justonelap.com/events/jse-power-hour-manage-your-money-like-a-rock-star/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - WANT SOME FREE SHIT?! Tag @greenham\_sam on Instagram in a photo/story with you and your *Like a Fucking Grownup* book, and stand a chance to win a LAFG hat and sticker pack. Winner will be announced on 30 April. - Currently reading: *[Parable of the Sower](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52397.Parable%5Fof%5Fthe%5FSower?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=avpF3NuceE&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* by Octavia Butler, *[The Wave in the Mind](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13650.The%5FWave%5Fin%5Fthe%5FMind?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=USygj0qi23&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* by Ursula LeGuin, and the surreal 1905-1911 cartoon strip *Little Nemo in Slumberland* ([read all of them here](https://www.comicstriplibrary.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)) - Currently watching: *[It's a Sin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It%27s%5Fa%5FSin%5F%28TV%5Fseries%29?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, the brilliant/heartbreaking show about the HIV/AIDS crisis in late 80s London - Current obsession: [Alice Diamond](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alice%5FDiamond?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a criminal mastermind from the early 1900s who mostly shoplifted fancy fur coats (what a queen) - If you missed it, here's [my guide to building a cold weather wardrobe from scratch](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-to-build-a-cold-weather-wardrobe-from-scratch/), without breaking the bank SMOOCHES! ### How to build a cold-weather wardrobe from scratch URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-to-build-a-cold-weather-wardrobe-from-scratch/ Last updated: 2021-03-24T12:50:43.000Z The fun (but also exhausting) thing about moving countries is that suddenly you don't know how to do the most basic things: how do you catch a bus? Find a plumber? Buy groceries? *Dress yourself?* A year ago, I moved from a hot and dry country (South Africa) to a cold and wet country (the UK) and discovered that my previous clothing strategy (entirely based around cute jumpsuits) wasn't going to work any more. The day I left South Africa in January it was 36 degrees celsius. I landed in England and it was 5\. FIVE DEGREES CELSIUS. I thought I was going to die of hypothermia. Being essentially cold-blooded and unable to generate my own body heat, I coped with South African winters by spending the whole day moving from sunbeam to sunbeam like a lizard. Alas, winter sun in the UK is about as common as rusks in their supermarkets, so building a cold-weather wardrobe became an urgent priority. Here's what I learned, in case it's helpful to fellow cold-country immigrants! ## Your mileage may vary Some specifics about me that might be different for you: - I moved to Cambridge, which is not really very cold by cold-country standards (but trust me, if you're from South Africa, it is COLD). It rains a lot, but only snows maybe one day a year. - I'm a cheapskate. You can spend an infinite amount of money buying clothes. But I'm going to assume you want to keep costs low if you just moved to a whole new country. - I mostly wear femme-inclined clothing. Most of this will apply to people who dress on the masc end of the spectrum, though. - I'm a writer, which means that I will never need to go to an office (even in non-pandemic times) and don't need to impress anyone except my cat. This is a strategy in case you're feeling lost, but it's probably not the right strategy for everybody! ## Focus on what you really need In time, you might want to add a bunch of cute wintery clothing to your life. But at the beginning, focus on buying the core basics that will get you through most situations. Focus on **versatility**, **warmth** and **insulation**. You'll get the most bang for your buck by focusing on the inner-layer (thermals that live right against your skin) and the outer-layer (jackets). Use the clothes you already own as the mid-layer. This means, at first, **don't worry about buying warm jumpers/sweatshirts/hoodies/pants/dresses etc.** These things can come later. For the basics you buy, err on neutral colours (these things are supposed to *augment* your existing wardrobe rather than replace it) and pay close attention to the fabric they're made out of. Wool, silk and fleece are great insulators. Cotton does a fine job if it's thick and well-constructed. ![A drawing showing a base layer (leggings, a thermal top and socks), a mid layer (add whatever outfit you'd wear normally) and then an outer layer (hat, scarf, gloves, boots, and some combination of coat, puffer or fleece, and rainjacket)](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/03/image-1.png) I'm going to take you through these essentials one by one. I'll use Uniqlo to show you examples of what I mean because it's a range I'm familiar with, but I don't necessarily recommend buying everything there (we'll consider the budget and shopping strategy at the bottom). ## Outer wear The thing that's going to cost you the most money is a coat, so let's start here. Because you are starting from scratch, you want to get something that will cope with the widest range of bad weather. When I landed, I was absolutely freezing and I panicked, and I bought myself a single "everything" coat. It's waterproof, hooded, wind-proof and warm as heck. You could wear this thing to the Arctic and not be cold, and I love that damn thing to pieces. It's what got me through my first winter with my sanity intact. I bought it from [Uniqlo](https://www.uniqlo.com/us/en/women-ultra-warm-down-long-coat-online-exclusive-412819.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). They don't stock them any more, but I think it cost about £150\. My strategy was, "let me prepare for the worst the weather can be, and I can always just wear it over light clothing on warmer days". ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/11/image-2.png) I definitely don't regret buying this coat, but it's not actually the solution I'd recommend for other people moving to the UK. Here's the issue with something this thick: it's not adaptable. It's far too heavy to go running or hiking with. It's not quite formal enough for days when you need to be a bit more dressed up. It's also total overkill for most UK weather, where it's more often wet but not actually that cold. So if you buy a coat like this, you'll end up ALSO wanting to buy additional outerwear, which means you'll spend more overall. Instead, I recommend a three-layer outwear strategy, consisting of: - A *waterproof* layer. - A *windproof* and *fancy* layer. - A *warm* layer. Make sure that your windproof option and your waterproof option are both longer than your warm option, because you need to be able to wear it underneath either of the other layers. **The waterproof layer** - Must have a hood. - Must NOT be very warm. You want to be able to slip this on to go for a run or on a warm, wet day, or wander around town for several hours without wanting to die of heat. - A bonus would be for it to also be reflective. If you'll be cycling or walking, it's good to have extra visibility for safety. - As an example, this [pocketable hooded parka](https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/product/women-uv-protection-pocketable-parka-429058.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) costs £25 from Uniqlo. Ideally, I think you'd want something sliiiightly longer, like an anorak, but this is roughly what you're looking for. - Can be a pretty wild colour if you like, because you're never going to be wearing it indoors. ![A short rainjacket from Uniqlo](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/11/image-3.png) You could also try something longer like this [£59 thing](https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/product/women-light-blocktech-hooded-coat-424578.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), if you're unlikely to go running in it. ![A thigh-length rainjacket from Uniqlo](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/11/image-4.png) **The windproof layer** This is your chance to get the fancy overcoat of your dreams! This very much depends on your life and your own sense of style, but you want something that's quite warm but not warm-warm, looks good enough to wear for the most formal thing you're likely to do, and will keep the wind off you. Depending on your personal style, this could be a leather jacket, an oversized blazer (if it's on the thicker side), a denim jacket, or a trench coat. The classic option is a good wool/wool-esque overcoat, like [this £79 cocoon coat](https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/product/women-double-faced-cocoon-coat-429473.html?dwvar%5F429473%5Fcolor=COL31&dwvar%5F429473%5Fsize=SMA002&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Your criteria for this item: - Can withstand light rain. - Pretty warm, but not very warm. If it's a really cold day, you'll layer your puffer or fleece underneath it. Again, fabric matters, and something with a lining will be warmer than something without one. - Slightly oversized so you can layer lots of things underneath it. - Get something that will co-ordinate with the rest of your wardrobe because you'll likely own just one coat for a long time. A neutral colour is safest for most people (black, camel or grey) but if your wardrobe is bright and you love patterns, then a wild coat might co-ordinate best with the rest of what you have. Get something that will make *you* feel fancy. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/11/image-5.png) **The warm layer** Here's the trick with this layer: you're looking for something **warm**, but also something that's **not too thick**, because you need to be able to wear this under your windproof or waterproof layers. Your two best options are either those [black puffy jackets](https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/product/women-ultra-light-down-cocoon-parka-429458.html?dwvar%5F429458%5Fcolor=COL11&dwvar%5F429458%5Fsize=SMA001&cgid=IDw-coats-jackets&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) every single middle class dude seems to own or a thick fleece ([this one is £19](https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/product/women-fluffy-fleece-zipped-jacket-428330.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)). Get the boring black one, because you will wear this with everything. This is the place to prioritise function over beauty: get something warm. I also recommend that this layer has a zipper or buttons, because that will maximise its layerability. You *could* replace this layer with a thick-knit cardigan if that's more your style, but I don't find knits to be as warm as a good puffer, as cute as they are. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/11/image-6.png) With these three outer layers, you can cope with any weather. - Cold and wet? Wear your warm layer under your waterproof layer. - Very cold + light rain/snow? Wear your warm layer under your windproof layer. - A bit chilly? Wear either your warm or windproof layer in isolation. The good news about outer-layers? **It's really easy to buy all of them second-hand**, from any charity shop, or [eBay](https://www.ebay.co.uk/b/Womens-Coats-Jackets-Waistcoats/63862/bn%5F661673?rt=nc&LH%5FItemCondition=3000&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), or from one of [the second-hand clothing apps](https://www.depop.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) that are becoming really popular. These layers aren't on your skin, so it's not gross to buy them used, and they're durable items so you should be able to find things that are still in good condition. **Other outerwear you need** Your three coat strategy isn't the end of things. You also need to keep those extremities warm and dry! You do need: - One pair of boots that you can wear when it's raining. Depending on what you like, you could look at combat boots, Chelseas, or even a waterproof pair of sneakers. Don't go overboard worrying about gumboots, snowboots and stuff like that if you're in the UK. One pair of waterproof shoes is all you need. - It is worthwhile to get a cheap beanie or hat of some sort for the times when it's VERY cold. - Gloves are absolutely essential and cheap. - Get a scarf. I'm a fan of the very wide ones you can also wrap around yourself like a blanket around the house. I think they're called stoles? ## Inner wear Here's what I didn't realise before I lived here: your outer layers' jobs is mostly to keep the elements out. What's going to keep you *warm* are your inner layers. You want to work up to having one laundry-cycle's worth of each of these items, but you'll be fine with 2-3 of each to start. - Warm socks. Your thin cotton socks from back home are pointless, now. Get some THICK socks, like [these thermal ones](https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/product/women-heattech-thermal-socks-two-pairs-431701.html?dwvar%5F431701%5Fcolor=COL71&dwvar%5F431701%5Fsize=WSU024&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) from Uniqlo. If you buy thick socks, then you can put off buying slippers for a while, and also avoid frostbite. - Some long-sleeved thermal tops that are thin enough for you to wear under your existing wardrobe. I love Uniqlo's Heattech range for this. Get a variety of different necklines: you can mix up [regular long-sleeve t-shirts](https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/product/women-heattech-jersey-crew-neck-thermal-top-428494.html?dwvar%5F428494%5Fcolor=COL01&dwvar%5F428494%5Fsize=SMA002&cgid=IDw-innerwear&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [ballet shirts](https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/product/women-heattech-jersey-ballet-neck-thermal-top-422625.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [turtlenecks](https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/product/women-heattech-ultra-warm-high-neck-thermal-top-428500.html?dwvar%5F428500%5Fcolor=COL09&dwvar%5F428500%5Fsize=SMA001&cgid=IDheattech-ultra-warm-tops1432&hassubcat=false&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Cotton, recycled synthetics or a thin wool knit will all work. Again, remember that these are layering pieces rather than standalone pieces, so get colours that will co-ordinate with what you already have. - Leggings. It's worth getting at least [one super-warm pair](https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/product/women-heattech-extra-warm-fleece-lined-thermal-leggings-428786.html?dwvar%5F428786%5Fcolor=COL09&dwvar%5F428786%5Fsize=SMM003&cgid=IDw-innerwear&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for very cold days but regular cotton ones are fine for most days. You can wear these under your existing pants/skirts/shorts, but let's be honest, you can also just exist in them 24/7\. If you like tights, thick tights are a fine alternative. When you're at home, you will probably exist in a full-thermal outfit like a trendy ninja, and it feels great. Good thermal underlayers are great replacements for loungewear and pyjamas. When you're leaving the house, you just add some middle layers on top and throw on a jacket, and you're good. ## Middle layers Here's the good news: you really don't need to buy any middle layers to start out with. Just wear your existing wardrobe. Own lots of dresses? Wear them over thermal tops, leggings and socks, and throw a coat on top. You'll look elegant as heck. More of a shorts/t-shirts kinda person? Shorts over leggings with boots is a VIBE (especially cute denim cutoffs), and you can wear your thermal shirts by themselves on most occasions. A white button-up over a thermal turtleneck is a classic, and good thermal leggings will make even thin linen pants wearable through all but the coldest days. **You already have the middle layers you need.** The only middle-layer item it is great to have is a [cosy jumper](https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/product/women-uniqlo-u-low-gauge-knit-turtleneck-jumper-432732.html?dwvar%5F432732%5Fcolor=COL09&dwvar%5F432732%5Fsize=SMA006&cgid=IDw-jumpers-cardigans&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). You really can get by with just one, because if you wear t-shirts/thermals underneath you can wear them many times before needing to wash them. There's nothing quite as cosy as mooching about in a good cable-knit and leggings, and the good news is that knitwear is PLENTIFUL at the charity shops. ## What's not on the priority list - Loads of jumpers/hoodies/jackets/sweatshirts/long-sleeved dresses. With the good basics listed above, you can get by without adding a lot of bulk to your middle layer for quite a while (I'm a slut for a good hoodie, but start by building a good base layer wardrobe first). - Slippers. You can get by with warm socks for quite a while. - Warm fleece joggers. Great for lounging around the house or casual errands, but leggings are more versatile so invest in those first. - An umbrella. Of dubious value in England because rain usually seems to be coming at you sideways but they're cheap so you'll probably end up with one at some point anyway, and then constantly forget to bring it with you when you leave the house. It's more important to ensure that your waterproof layer has a hood. - Cardigans. They're useful for layering up indoors, but they're less warm than a thick fleece/puffer jacket. - A housecoat. Just walk around wrapped up in a blanket all day like I do. - Knee-length boots. Cute, but you're probably never going to step in a puddle that goes higher than your ankles. ## Comparing shopping strategies When considering a shopping strategy, there are three variables you could optimise for, and you're allowed to choose two of them: **quick, cheap, and well-made**. "Quick" here means "you can get everything you need from one shop" rather than potentially spending several hours finding a good deal. - Value **quick + cheap?** Go to [Primark](https://www.primark.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), but know that what you buy is unlikely to last very long or keep you very warm. - Value **quick + well-made?** Go to [Uniqlo](https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/home?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Arket](https://www.arket.com/en%5Fgbp/index.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Madewell](https://www.madewell.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or an outdoor brand like [The North Face](https://www.thenorthface.co.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or [Patagonia](https://www.patagonia.com/home/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). You can get everything you need in one place, and your pieces will do a good job keeping you warm, but they're not cheap. - Value **cheap + well-made?** Buy second-hand. You can pick up some bargains, but it will take you some time to find what you want. This route has the extra advantage of being the most planet-friendly. Your best options are apps like [Depop](https://www.depop.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Ebay](https://www.ebay.co.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (turn on the "buy it now" and "condition: used" filters) or your local charity shops. Other big department stores like [Marks & Spencer](https://www.marksandspencer.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [H&M](https://www2.hm.com/en%5Fgb/index.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Zara](https://www.zara.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or [Asos](https://www.asos.com/women/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) fall somewhere in the middle (quick + fairly cheap + fairly well-made). You could try the discount outlet [TK Maxx](https://www.tkmaxx.com/uk/en/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (fairly cheap + well-made, but they might not have everything you need). Assuming you need to build a cold-weather wardrobe completely from scratch, here's a sample budget for each of these strategies: | Item | Quantity | Second hand | Primark | Asos | Uniqlo | | -------------------------- | -------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | Thermal top | 3 | [£4](https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Gorgeous-Ladies-Black-Thin-Thermal-Top-10-12-F-F-Good-Co/274718698206?hash=item3ff682aade%3Ag%3ARFEAAOSwokNgP36l&LH%5FItemCondition=3000&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£6](https://www.primark.com/en/all-primark-products/our-womens-fashion-range/womens-clothing/womens-tops/white-brushed-boatneck-top/p/131704528?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£20](https://www.asos.com/asos-4505/asos-4505-tall-cable-knit-base-layer-set-in-black/grp/31224?colourwayid=60079091&ref=sambeckbessinger.com#20683048&SearchQuery=thermal%20top) | [£13](https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/product/women-heattech-jersey-scoop-neck-thermal-top-428493.html?dwvar%5F428493%5Fcolor=COL09&dwvar%5F428493%5Fsize=SMA002&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | | Warm socks | 5 | [£1](https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Mens-12-Pairs-Thermal-Socks-Boot-Outdoor-Warm-Cotton-Rich-Cushioned-Size-6-11/264455641538?hash=item3d92c8d9c2:g:TLcAAOSw6bVf0gjp&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£2](https://www.primark.com/en/all-primark-products/our-womens-fashion-range/womens-clothing/womens-socks-and-tights/green-and-yellow-thermal-crew-socks-2-pack/p/133071686?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£8](https://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-super-fluffy-calf-length-lounge-sock-in-winter-white/prd/22268336?colourwayid=60385830&SearchQuery=thermal%20socks&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£5](https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/product/women-heattech-cable-thermal-socks-two-pairs-431695.html?dwvar%5F431695%5Fcolor=COL69&dwvar%5F431695%5Fsize=WSU024&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | | Leggings (or tights) | 3 | [£3](https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Ladies-M-S-Collection-Black-Size-18L-Leggings/265097182834?hash=item3db905fe72%3Ag%3AcycAAOSwgw9gWIJ2&LH%5FBIN=1&LH%5FItemCondition=3000&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£5](https://www.primark.com/en/all-primark-products/our-womens-fashion-range/womens-clothing/womens-trousers-and-leggings/black-cotton-leggings/p/131027326?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£20](https://www.asos.com/asos-4505/asos-4505-tall-cable-knit-base-layer-set-in-black/grp/31224?colourwayid=60079091&ref=sambeckbessinger.com#20683048&SearchQuery=thermal%20top) | [£13](https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/product/women-heattech-thermal-leggings-428502.html?dwvar%5F428502%5Fcolor=COL09&dwvar%5F428502%5Fsize=SMA001&cgid=IDleggings1472&hassubcat=false&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | | Gloves | 1 | [£5](https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/LADIES-M-S-BLACK-GLOVES-one-size/254401548919?hash=item3b3b839277%3Ag%3AE94AAOSwnI9dtWe3&LH%5FItemCondition=3000&LH%5FBIN=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | £5 | [£5](https://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-touch-screen-gloves-in-recycled-polyester-in-black/prd/14872932?colourwayid=16650767&SearchQuery=gloves&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£13](https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/product/heattech-lined-gloves-428962.html?dwvar%5F428962%5Fcolor=COL08&dwvar%5F428962%5Fsize=SMA004&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | | Beanie | 1 | [£3](https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Blackrock-Mens-Heat-Thermal-Knitted-Insulated-Hat-Black/254911076695?epid=1860060762&hash=item3b59e25957%3Ag%3AeaYAAOSwbbxgVznx&LH%5FItemCondition=3000&LH%5FBIN=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£2](https://www.primark.com/en/all-primark-products/kids-clothes/kids-accessories/black-sustainable-rib-beanie/p/132981133?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£10](https://www.asos.com/topman/topman-waffle-docker-beanie-in-charcoal/prd/24157563?colourwayid=60543585&SearchQuery=beanie&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£10](https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/product/ribbed-beanie-433774.html?dwvar%5F433774%5Fcolor=COL42&dwvar%5F433774%5Fsize=SIZ999&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | | Scarf (or stole) | 1 | [£3](https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Warehouse-Pink-And-Grey-Chunky-Blanket-Scarf/333917129838?hash=item4dbf030c6e%3Ag%3A5y8AAOSwwkhgSeic&LH%5FItemCondition=3000&LH%5FBIN=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£4](https://www.primark.com/en/all-primark-products/our-womens-fashion-range/womens-accessories/womens-hats-scarves-and-gloves/mustard-plain-pleat-scarf/p/133869055?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£12](https://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-supersoft-long-woven-scarf-with-tassels-in-deep-red/prd/20357696?colourwayid=60047080&SearchQuery=scarf&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£40](https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/product/100pct-cashmere-checked-scarf-429501.html?dwvar%5F429501%5Fcolor=COL38&dwvar%5F429501%5Fsize=SIZ999&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | | Puffer jacket | 1 | [£8](https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/puffer-jacket/353373498684?hash=item5246b3ad3c%3Ag%3AD90AAOSw%7EWRgGEYC&LH%5FItemCondition=3000&LH%5FBIN=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£15](https://www.primark.com/en/all-primark-products/our-mens-fashion-range/mens-clothing/mens-coats-and-jackets/parka-and-puffer/black-funnel-puffer-jacket/p/131576447?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£50](https://www.asos.com/topshop/topshop-padded-puffer-jacket-in-sage-green/prd/24037507?colourwayid=60533816&SearchQuery=puffer%20jacket&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£60](https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/search-results?q=Puffer%20jacket&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | | Fleece | 0 | [£15](https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/North-Face-Fleece/203311102857?hash=item2f56493b89%3Ag%3AEZAAAOSwNK1gViWJ&LH%5FItemCondition=3000&LH%5FBIN=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£10](https://www.primark.com/en/all-primark-products/our-mens-fashion-range/mens-clothing/mens-hoodies-and-sweatshirts/black-zip-up-fleece-pocket-jacket/p/133089670?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£50](https://www.asos.com/under-armour/under-armour-sportstyle-rival-fleece-full-zip-hoodie-in-grey/prd/23699433?colourwayid=60505373&SearchQuery=zip-up%20fleece&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£20](https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/product/women-fluffy-fleece-zipped-jacket-428330.html?dwvar%5F428330%5Fcolor=COL12&dwvar%5F428330%5Fsize=SMA001&cgid=IDw-sweatshirts-and-hoodie&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | | Coat | 1 | [£30](https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Massimo-Dutto-Blue-Navy-Wrap-Coat/284228764343?hash=item422d5ac2b7%3Ag%3A-YAAAOSwkp9gV7M7&LH%5FItemCondition=3000&LH%5FBIN=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£35](https://www.primark.com/en/all-primark-products/our-womens-fashion-range/womens-clothing/womens-jackets-and-coats/beige-longline-smart-coat/p/132089598?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£50](https://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-soft-waterfall-duster-coat-in-black/prd/21168134?colourwayid=60145193&SearchQuery=coat&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£130](https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/product/women-uniqlo-u-trench-coat-431587.html?dwvar%5F431587%5Fcolor=COL33&dwvar%5F431587%5Fsize=SMA001&cgid=IDw-coats-jackets&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | | Anorak (or running jacket) | 1 | [£8](https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Toshop-Raincoat-Pale-Pink-Size-8-Rain-Jacket/324516976377?hash=item4b8eb816f9%3Ag%3A-OUAAOSwFNhgSkc1&LH%5FItemCondition=3000&LH%5FBIN=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£20](https://www.primark.com/en/all-primark-products/our-mens-fashion-range/mens-clothing/mens-coats-and-jackets/black-and-white-reflective-colourblock-zip-up-jacket/p/131646059?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£25](https://www.asos.com/asos-tall/asos-design-tall-rain-parka-in-black/prd/22356773?colourwayid=60392486&SearchQuery=rain%20coat&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£60](https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/search-results?q=Women%20Raincoats&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | | Boots | 1 | [£15](https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Zara-TRF-Black-Chelsea-Biker-Boots-41/133701294230?hash=item1f2137d896%3Ag%3ASbkAAOSwnIpgWMlI&LH%5FItemCondition=3000&LH%5FBIN=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£9](https://www.primark.com/en/all-primark-products/our-womens-fashion-range/womens-shoes-and-boots/womens-boots/black-chelsea-boots/p/131672998?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£30](https://www.asos.com/raid/raid-radar-black-chunky-chelsea-boots/prd/11860421?colourwayid=16384218&SearchQuery=&cid=6455&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | [£35](https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/women/accessories/accessories-shoes?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | | **Total** | | **£93** | **£131** | **£342** | **£450** | I've included a fleece option and a puffer jacket option for you, but this budget assumes you get the puffer. My recommendation? Get thermal tops, socks and leggings new at the best price range you can afford, and buy everything else second hand (look for quality items that will last a long time). It's better for the planet, and the best value for money option you can find. Stay cosy! **Are you a fellow warm-country to cold-country immigrant? What suggestions would you give other people making the same move? [I'd love to hear from you.](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/contact/) Moving's hard, so let's help other people going through the process.** ### Behind every great man... URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/behind-every-great-man/ Last updated: 2021-03-19T16:21:51.000Z I once heard a story about Michelle Obama. One afternoon, during her husband's re-election campaign, she stopped for lunch at one of those trendy up-and-coming Chicago restaurants. The restauranteur came out to greet her, and to everybody's amusement, it turned out to be a guy Michelle had dated in college, just before she met Barack. They both laughed at the coincidence. 'Just think,' the restauranteur joked, 'if you and I had continued dating, you'd now be the wife of a restaurant owner.' 'Oh my dear, you're mistaken,' Michelle responded. 'If you and I had continued dating, you would now be the President of the United States.' That story tickles me, even though it's total horseshit. [In truth, it's an old yarn that's been told about every president's wife since George H.W. Bush.](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/spousal-success-story/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) It's a great story anyway, because it captures something about our culture's unspoken rebuke to ambitious women: sure, you still don't get to be presidents/CEOs/whatever, but you've been the ones with *real power* all along! Smart women are the secret puppet-masters behind successful men. The man is the head of the family, you see, but the wife is the neck. Isn't that enough for you, greedy harpies?! It's a pretty weird double-think, holding to the idea that women secretly have all the power while in fact being denied any of the actual power. Even as a woman, I simultaneously love and loathe this narrative. I've found myself using it to "compliment" other women ("Oh yes, \[underpaid project manager\] is the one holding everything together around here!") and also gotten *really irritated* when other people do exactly the same thing. This story is baked so deep into our culture it's inescapable. ![A quote from Michelle Glauser. Men, when you introduce your employee who’s a woman and say “She does all the work”/“runs things”/“keeps us all sane”/etc.: 1- You are not paying her enough. 2- You haven’t given her the title or team she deserves. 3- Talking about her contributions doesn’t make up for 1 and 2.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/03/748F4DB6-D019-4B0D-89C3-B2EFC7E61655.jpeg) Michelle Glauser nails it. Some women truly are most comfortable out of the limelight, preferring the role of silent supportive partner. I recently loved [this piece by John Le Carre's son](https://www.theguardian.com/books/2021/mar/13/my-father-was-famous-as-john-le-carre-my-mother-was-his-crucial-covert-collaborator?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about how his parents were intimate collaborators, his mother always in the background, and how happy their mutual work made them. I suspect that others play the supportive role strategically, knowing that a woman admitting to their own ambitions can be off-putting to misogynists, so they pre-empt criticism by talking up their feminine submissiveness while conquering the world. I'm looking at you, Beyoncé, singing shit like this to Jay-Z back in 2006: > Still play my part and let you take the lead role, believe me > I'll follow, this could be easy > I'll be the help, whenever you need me > I see your hustle with my hustle, I can keep you > Focused on your focus, I can feed you Of course women should be able to choose to be the supporting act or silent collaborator, if they want to. But these shouldn't be their only choices. Plenty of brilliant, ambitious women did exist throughout history, of course, but most of them were defeated by the myriad of obstacles placed against them. For instance, go spend ten heartbreaking minutes reading about what happened to Mozart's equally talented sister [Nannerl](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maria%5FAnna%5FMozart?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). See also: Zelda Fitzgerald, Hedy Lamarr, Rosalind Franklin, Marsha P. Johnson, Colette... In recent years, there's been a welcome boom in books trying to unearth the stories of the great women who were written out of history. Some of the best are Anita Sarkeesian & Ebony Adams's *[History vs. Women](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/37508624-history-vs-women?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=xuhKt0QXTU&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com),* Elena Favelli's *[Goodnight Stories for Rebel Girls](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/37508624-history-vs-women?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=xuhKt0QXTU&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com),* and Lauren Beukes's *[Maverick](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/815323.Maverick?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=6dpnBetzzC&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* (as well as *[Stories for Boys Who Dare to be Different](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/38102900-stories-for-boys-who-dare-to-be-different?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* by Ben Brooks, a book about male role models who weren't stereotypically masculine). This is great. Kids of all genders need more diverse role models. But there's something else we have to do, which is be honest about the obstacles they faced. Like Mileva Maric-Einstein, Albert Einstien's first wife, a great physicist in her own right who received special permission from the Minster of Education in Serbia to be allowed to attend physics lectures even though she was a girl. Albert Einstein, OG fuckboy, initially refused to marry her even though she was pregnant, and ultimately left her for his cousin, leaving her drowning in medical bills for their sick son. Long after he was dead, the executors of Albert's estate used a court order to block the publication of letters between Albert and Mileva that suggest she might have been a collaborator on the theory of Special Relativity. They wanted to preserve the myth of the sole, male genius, because there is a real financial value attached to that myth (\*COUGH\* Elon Musk \*COUGH\*). ![Albert and Mileva Einstein, 1912](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/87/Albert_Einstein_and_his_wife_Mileva_Maric.jpg/2560px-Albert_Einstein_and_his_wife_Mileva_Maric.jpg) Albert Einstein once said: "I need my wife. She solves for me all my mathematical problems." It's fascinating to compare Mileva's story to that of her contemporary, Marie Curie. Marie Curie was also a brilliant scientist in the early 1900s who was blocked throughout her career. There was one major difference between them: **Pierre Curie supported his wife's career and fought for her contributions to be recognised.** You probably know that Marie Curie was the first woman to ever win a Nobel prize. But you may not know that initially, the Nobel committee tried to give the award to Pierre alone. He fought for Marie's inclusion in the award, insisting that they were equal collaborators. After he died, Marie went on to win a second Nobel Prize on her own, and inherited her husband's chair at the University of Paris, where she was the first woman professor. But none of those firsts would have happened if her husband hadn't insisted that the world saw her as he did: as his equal partner. Which is all just to say that if you're an ambitious woman, marry well, or don't marry at all. In the last approximately five minutes of history, it's become possible for some lucky women to make it to the top of their fields. But there are still traps along the way: more women are getting in the door, but few make it to the top. This is about a lot of internal dynamics within jobs, ranging from unconscious bias to outright sexism, but it's also about external factors like who's leaving work early if a kid is sick and who's making sacrifices so their partner's career can flourish. It was bloody thrilling watching Kamala Harris being sworn in as the first Black and Indian and woman vice-president of America, but it was equally moving for me to see Doug Emhoff (her husband) leaving his law career to embrace his role as Second Husband. When do women ever get to see that? Here's why I think we've got to talk about the obstacles that blocked brilliant women in history (and queer people, and Black people, and poor people): **there are still so many obstacles today.** Role models are great, but we have to remember that most brilliant people will never get to exercise their talents. Humanity is poorer for it. As Stephen Jay Gould said: > I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein’s brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops. Nobody's successful in isolation. Lone geniuses were never really alone. It's not just that behind every great man is a great woman, it's that behind any great piece of work, there are at least a dozen people who made it possible. Some of those people get lauded and others don't, but that has very little to do with how brilliant they were. Whether you're a head, or a neck, or a left elbow, I wish you the chance to do the work that you love, and the support you need to do it. Your biggest fan, Sam --- ![Illustration of a solid gold statue of Jeff Bezos](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/03/FD4537EB-7C31-4674-9CCB-03290BE0ABE8.png) ## Updates from Sam-Land - *Survive the Century,* the choose-your-own-adventure game about climate change I'm working on, is looking so good! We've roped in the brilliant illustrator [Annika Brandow](https://annikabrandow.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to brighten things up a bit. Please enjoy her depiction of the solid gold statue of Jeff Bezos that citizens of Rio build in the 2030s to try to convince him to set up a new office in Brazil (did I mention that the game is very silly?). We're aiming to launch in May. - I've been doing a limited money series on Radio 702 every Tuesday at 2pm with Azania Mosaka. Next Tuesday, we're talking money and kids, and wrapping up the series the following week talking about retirement. - I have serious lockdown brain at the moment and I was craving a lighthearted trashy read. It occurred to me that I've never read anything by Michael Crichton, the guy who wrote *Jurassic Park*, and figured that was exactly the kind of silly romp I was in the mood for. But when I was buying books, I momentarily confused Michael Crichton with Michael CHABON and picked up *Kavalier and Clay...* which is a book about the Holocaust. It's absolutely brilliant but it's already reduced me to tears about fourteen times in the first 50 pages, THANKS MICHAEL. - I also finally read Strunk & White's *Elements of Style*, which is the best book of practical writing tips I've ever read. Whether you write novels or emails, it will help you to write more clearly. Highly recommend. ### Sometimes money problems are just relationship problems URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/sometimes-money-problems-are-just-relationship-problems/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T13:49:06.000Z Hello, grownups! I did an [AMA ('ask me anything') on Reddit earlier this week](https://www.reddit.com/r/PersonalFinanceZA/comments/m17srn/im%5Fsam%5Fbeckbessinger%5Fauthor%5Fof%5Fmanage%5Fyour%5Fmoney/?utm%5Fsource=share&utm%5Fmedium=ios%5Fapp&utm%5Fname=iossmf). Right at the end, somebody asked me a question that stuck in my skin like a burr. It was this: > how do I stop my wife from chowing all my money? The question's been deleted now, I'm not sure whether by the original poster or by the admin. I understand why: the way it's phrased tells you more about what's going on than the question itself. It's dripping with resentment, half-joking-but-not-really. Each part of it is fascinating to me. "Chowing". "How do I stop". "My money". I don't know a damn thing about this person or their relationship, but don't those eleven words tell a heck of a story? I wanted to say to them: *buddy*... you don't have a money problem. You have a relationship problem. And in my experience, that's often the case when couples fight about money. What you do with your money is an expression of your values. Big or small, whenever you make a choice about your lifestyle, you're making a tradeoff and deciding that you value one thing over another. Where you live, where your kids go to school, the work you do, who cleans the floors, how much you save, whether you buy the fancy Woolies tomatoes or the cheap ones from Checkers... these are all money decisions, and ultimately, they add up to what kind of life you end up living. You make money choices every single day, and these choices are connected to deep ideas you have about yourself and what a good life looks like. Marriage (and similar forms of long-term partnerships, legally recognised or not) can be a lot of things, but it is fundamentally an **economic partnership** (and always has been, sorry). This is true even if you're married out of community of property, even if you keep your finances separated, even if you don't have children. Because when you choose to live your life with somebody, you're choosing to make decisions together about what that life looks like, and those are all money choices. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/03/image.jpeg) Queen Victoria: the one who started this whole "I shall marry for love!" thing (and also the tradition of wearing a white gown and train) Sometimes couples fight about money because they simply don't have enough of it, which is stressful as heck. But often, money fights are really about something else: mismatched values, or different goals, or the feeling like your partner is not *seeing* or *respecting* the value you bring to your partnership (particularly when one person is doing more domestic labour and the other person is earning a big paycheque), or, let's be honest, sometimes it's just one partner just being an entitled butthole who does not see their partner's wants or needs as being as important as their own. This is all made harder by the fact that most people don't talk about money. Most of us grow up in families where we don't actually learn to talk about money in a way that's calm and mutually respectful. So when we encounter something tricky, like different ideas about what's worth spending money on, we aren't able to talk about it and come to a solution. Things we feel ashamed of and struggle to talk about openly (sex, money, our unique emotional wounds) tend to be the things that fester. They become sites of resentment. Until things get so bad you end up asking a question like "how do I stop my wife from chowing all my money" to a stranger on the internet instead of having a proper conversation *with your wife* about how you can resolve your different needs and values. Money is the number one reason couples fight, and it's the most commonly cited reason for divorce, so it's a damn important thing to spend time working through with your partner. The question-asker vanished before I could give them an answer, but here are two practical things I would have suggested: 1. Build a financial plan **together**. Financial plans are never perfect, because you are not a wizard and you can't see the future. But the *process* of sitting down with your partner and working on a financial plan can be very helpful. It forces you to talk about your values and to do some often-fun fantasising about your future together. Even if you're a "keep your finances separate" kind of couple, this kind of planning exercise can still be worthwhile. It can help to have a professional guide you through this process, to help you with the maths, ask pointed questions and keep the conversation on track (especially if money's already a source of tension). In South Africa, [**Lifecheq**](https://www.lifecheq.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) are really good at putting together these kinds of financial plans (they cost about R2,500), or [speak to any registered fee-based financial planner](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-to-find-a-financial-adviser-who-doesnt-suck/). If you're feeling misaligned about money, creating a shared plan that you both feel committed to can be a great way to align you. 2. If you're fighting about money (or sitting on resentment, or just feeling like you actually have no idea what your partner's money beliefs and goals actually are) you might not need a money professional at all; you might benefit from good old-fashioned couple's therapy. Couple's therapy isn't just for people on the brink of divorce and it's not a terrifying harbinger that your relationship is doomed! It's just a space for you to have guided conversations with your partner. Therapy can be kak expensive, but it's not as expensive as divorce. I really hope that the person who asked me that question is able to talk to their wife, and that the issue does turn out to be something simple and resolvable like "we have different ideas about what is a reasonable amount of money to spend buying a bottle of wine", and not something deep and difficult like "I don't respect you as an equal partner in this marriage". Phew. Wishing you the good Woolies tomatoes and expensive wine, Sam --- ## Updates from Sam-land - Lockdown diaries, day 3,302,599\. Today I ate a pear, and spent twenty minutes staring at a crack in my ceiling. I am very bored of being stuck inside my house. - I just finished reading John Langan's *The Fisherman*. It was well-written, but not for me. It's one of those stories-within-a-story books and I found the inner story boring as heck, but the outer story absolutely riveting. Read it if you love Lovecraftian horror, poignant stories about grief, and fishing. - I've also been working my way through a riveting biography of *Hildegard of Bingen* by Fiona Maddocks. Hildegard is one of my longest-running obsessions: she was this amazing polymath nun/composer/artist/scientist/mystic in the 12th century who had some pretty horny visions of God, and I love her. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/03/image-1.jpeg) Saint Hildegard, touched by God's noodly appendages ### Midlife career switches URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/crafting-your-own-apprenticeship/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T10:21:10.000Z Hello, grownups 🥸 Today I want to tell you a story about one of the most bloody inspiring people I know, my friend Jen Wynne. Jen had a successful career as an operations manager for a men's fashion company, a business that she helped build from nothing. In her mid-30s, she and her partner sold that business, and Jen found herself feeling adrift. She realised that she hadn't actually liked her job very much, and hadn't really chosen a career so much as fallen into one. She'd realised she was in her 30s but still had no idea what she wanted to do when she grew up. Jen had a choice: she could try to find another job doing what she'd been doing using all the skills she already had, or she could take some time off and think deeply about what she really wanted the rest of her life to look like. Why I find Jen inspiring is that she chose the scarier option. What a warrior, right? ![Xena Warrior Princess](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/03/xena.gif) Sure, Xena could kill baddies, but did she BEGIN A WHOLE NEW CAREER in her 30s? > Like a proper dork I started with spider diagrams, pros and cons lists and reading up on how others made this decision. I came out the other side with a few key requirements and three ideas of things I might want to do. My three options were quite different from each other. I really wasn't sure which to go for, so I tried all three. I also knew that I had a limited amount of time because I had given myself from August to December to make a real choice. I needed to fail fast if I was going to fail at one or all three. Although I had some money saved, I was on a tight budget, so I didn't want to spend large amounts on something that I wasn't sure about. Her three options really were very different, both from each other and from the career she'd had before. One of them was coding, **which Jen had literally never done before**, but realised was a career that might be able to offer her the balance of creativity, freedom and challenge that she was looking for. I love how purposeful Jen was about this whole process. I remember sitting with her at the Dog's Bollocks in Cape Town (sharing one of those burgers the size of your head) while she talked me through her plan: she was going to sign up for short courses in each of her three options to "test-drive" them. > This is what makes internet learning so amazing; for a small amount of cash you can dip your toe in and see if it sticks. I did this by going to [codecademy](http://codecademy.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- the first month is free and it's $20 per month after that. I started with Python, then went into data science, followed by Java. I really enjoyed each of them, so my choice was made! Jen was super-disciplined about all this. She treated her online courses like a 9-5 job. After her three-month "information gathering" stage was over, she had a clear choice: she wanted to become a software developer. Rather than keep trying to learn on her own, she decided to find an apprenticeship to round out her skills and get herself into the job market. > I was told by many smart people that a lot of developers are self taught nowadays, but I also know my own confidence levels and knew that I needed to get some formal in-person training before I would have the guts to start looking for work. I found a company nearby that was offering just this, mid-Jan to mid-April. It cost a fair amount, but turned out to be just what I needed to add to my online learning. This was really just something that I needed, not everyone will require the in-person confidence. After finishing her bootcamp, Jen found an internship at a startup, which turned into a job, and she's still there a year later. And she loves it. > Money is still tight, starting from the bottom again will do that, but I am still so glad that I made this move. Although starting something new in your mid-30's means that you are 15 years behind in that particular field, it also means that you can bring experience to your job that others don't yet have. Most importantly the next 30 years of work are something you can look forward to rather than dread. Now that I have made the move, all I can think is how grateful I am that I took the chance and made the most of it. It still seems surreal to enjoy my job the way I do. Here's what I love about Jen's story: 1. It's blimmen scary to start a new career in your 30s. It's hard to go from being competent and in charge to being a total beginner in something. Jen was secure enough in herself to let go of all that ego crap, and now she's happier. 2. All of us are prone to the sunk cost fallacy: we worry that if we change things, we're wasting all the time/effort/money we spent building our first career. We make better choices when we ignore that and make a decision for your future based on the facts now. **Jen focused on the next 30 years, not the last 30.** 3. Jen is a really sensible saver-type with her money. But she decided that the right investment for her to make, at that time in her life, was into her career. **One of the many things that a Freedom Fund can fund is the time to learn a whole new skill.** Jen also had another asset that made this switch possible: a supportive partner. She had the emotional and financial safety nets she needed, but she still had to take the leap. ![Dog chopping wood](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/03/doggo.jpg) When you have no goddamn idea what you're doing but you're still doing your best! [I've spoken before about how I like to craft themes to guide every new season](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-winter-of-weird/). This week, I'm taking some inspiration from Jen and ushering in **The Spring of Apprenticeship**. In his book [*Turning Pro*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/14912777-turning-pro?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*,* Steven Pressfield talks about shadow careers. > Sometimes, when we’re terrified of embracing our true calling, we’ll pursue a shadow calling instead. That shadow career is a metaphor for our real career. Its shape is similar, its contours feel tantalizingly the same. But a shadow career entails no real risk. If we fail at a shadow career, the consequences are meaningless to us. I have been exceptionally fortunate over the past few years of my life, [growing a non-fiction writing career](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/books/), [building a tech business](http://inves.capital/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) with my friends, making a living from talking to people about choices and money. It's been ridiculously fun and satisfying and no one person should ever be so lucky. So it also feels strange to confess that it's also felt like a shadow career that mimics the one I care about more: **making up stories**. But towards the end of last year, I finally felt like I had both a healthy enough Freedom Fund and enough fiction writing credits under my belt to try to actually go pro. I stopped doing (almost) everything else, and have dedicated the past few months to trying to write fiction full-time. This is simultaneously: 1. My literal dream job. 2. Fucking terrifying. The problem with actually taking a gamble on the thing you care about most in the world is that it feels like somebody tossing you a delicate glass orb with everything you've ever dreamed of inside, saying "just don't drop it!" Like, I am terrified that I'm going to mess one thing up and ruin my chances of happiness forever. I know, rationally, that this isn't true. No one project makes or breaks your career. But that's how it *feels*. ![Gif of Ru Paul saying "Don't fuck it up"](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/03/Ru.gif) And here's a tough confession: I've been re-reading the draft of *Magpies* that Dale and I spent the past few months writing, and it's honestly not very good yet! That's pretty bruising to the ego, but I know that it's also extremely normal. Ira Glass has a wonderful quote about this: > Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through. The problem with imposter syndrome is it's often self-fulfilling. You're afraid of being caught out as an imposter, so you don't ask questions, so you fail. And I really, really don't want to fail at this. So, this spring's theme is my attempt to try throw a rope over my fear, harness it to a chariot and make it do something useful. Instead of letting myself feel like an **imposter**, I'm embracing this as a time of **apprenticeship**. Instead of just flopping around going "I'm not good enough arghghghghghgh" I'm trying to proactively make a plan to get better. There aren't many apprenticeships for writers (there should be!) so I'm channeling my inner Jen and just making one up. I've put together an active learning plan for the next few months (yes yes, I'm trying to "type A" myself out of my problems again, I know shhhhh). **I've set myself a bunch of nerdy tasks like:** 1. Map all the skills I need against my weaknesses, and figure out which 20% will improve my writing the most. 2. Contact real-life mentors and ask questions like "what are the things you wish you knew 10 years ago" and "what are the most useful pieces of writing advice you ever got" and dig into elements of their practice that I think they do uniquely well to learn how they do it. I've already had one session with a friend whose work I admire very much, and it was unbelievably helpful. 3. Identify virtual mentors who I probably can't get in touch with, but I can still learn about their processes by seeking out interviews with them. 4. Build a "creative family tree" (figure out who the people you are influenced by were most influenced by in turn, and study *them*) - this is an idea from Austin Kleon's *Steal Like an Artist*, [and there's a great write-up of it here.](https://austinkleon.com/2018/10/06/climbing-your-own-family-tree/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) 5. Set myself specific writing drills where I realise I need to practice things; for instance, I've found a lot of "thought verbs" in my *Magpies* manuscript that I'm trying to rewrite using [this method Chuck Palahniuk recommends](https://litreactor.com/essays/chuck-palahniuk/nuts-and-bolts-%E2%80%9Cthought%E2%80%9D-verbs?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). I'm trying to become more aware of the specific problems with my writing style and consciously weed them out. I've already read a lot of books about writing [(here's a list of my faves)](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/my-favourite-resources-about-the-craft-of-fiction-writing/) so I'm not assigning myself more reading. Apprenticeships are about practice, not theory. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/03/IMG_20210303_114434.jpg) Thinking through the elements of a fiction-writing career, and the skills you actually need to be a successful writer, and trying to identify the places where I'm weakest. The tasks aren't as important as the mindset. For the next few months, **I'm giving myself permission to suck,** as long as I'm learning. This season is about trying to be more patient with myself. Giving myself the time to fight through the period of knowing I'm not doing good work, but doing the work anyway. Telling myself, **no, you ridiculous sausage, you don't really know what you're doing, but you're doing your hecking best to learn, and that's okay.** In my money book, I talk about the importance of building up a Freedom Fund to enable your boldest dreams. I've been building up my Freedom Fund for years. But recently, I've realised that if you never use your savings to actually take those big risks, then it's not really a Freedom Fund at all. It's just a Money Fund. And money is worthless unless you turn it into stuff that matters to you. It feels really strange to be tapping into my Freedom Fund. But yoh, sometimes you've just got to back yourself and trust that even if you're not great at something now, you could get better at it if you tried. So, hell. Here we go. What about you? Are you setting yourself a new theme for spring/autumn? I'd love to hear about it, if you are! Wishing you bravery, mentors, and a sharp axe, Sam --- ## Updates from Sam-Land ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/03/image.png) Grootslang II by Nanna Venter **A couple of lovely things recently:** - Nanna Venter, who created the gorgeous illustrations (and cover) for my books, has a new exhibition opening **tonight the 4th of March** in Cape Town. It's called "Monsters at the Cape of Good Hope", and it's just gobsmackingly good. [Check out the full collection of Impundulu, Grootslange and other local monsters here.](https://www.nannaventer.co.za/monstersatthecapeofgoodhope/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Info about tonight's opening is also in that link. - You nosy parkers keep asking how I invest/manage/save my own money, so [here's the answer](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/where-do-i-invest-my-own-money/) (including boring details like what business bank account I use, and the terrible realisation that I once spent what's now the equivalent of R60,000 worth of Bitcoin on 5GB of mobile data). - If you missed it above, [here's a roundup of my favourite books/podcasts/essays about the craft of writing](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/my-favourite-resources-about-the-craft-of-fiction-writing/), if that's useful to you. - Just started reading [*The Fisherman*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29901930-the-fisherman?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)by John Langan. Not sure if I like it yet. I really enjoyed the playful movie [*Scare Me*](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10126434/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)(another brilliant Dale recommendation, he's like my horror movie drug-dealer). > February, month of despair, > with a skewered heart in the centre. > I think dire thoughts, and lust for French fries > with a splash of vinegar. > Cat, enough of your greedy whining > and your small pink bumhole. > Off my face! You’re the life principle, > more or less, so get going > on a little optimism around here. > Get rid of death. Celebrate increase. Make it be spring. From ["February"](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/47787/february-56d2288025b1e?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Margaret Atwood. She's so right: voetsek, winter! Boris says I'm allowed to meet up with ONE FRIEND from next week if we're sitting outside so it had better get warm, PRONTO. ### Where do I invest my own money? URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/where-do-i-invest-my-own-money/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T10:24:54.000Z Y'all keep asking what I do with my own money, so here's the answer (you NOSY PARKERS). *Just kidding! I totally get the inquisitiveness. Snooping on what other people do with their money is one of my favourite activities, too. It's like taking a peek inside somebody else's underwear drawer.* Where I put my money might not be right for you! Personal finance is *personal* by definition, and you've got to build a plan for yourself based around your own goals and needs. Here's a [more comprehensive list of savings accounts and investment funds](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/good-funds/) that will help you find the right one for you. The "get the right accounts" chapter in my money book is a thorough guide to identifying the right products for your own damn self. Some stuff about my financial life that's weird: - I have assets & expenses in both South Africa and the UK, and most of my income comes from the United States, so forex conversion is my life. - I hate admin and err on keeping my portfolio as simple as possible (I mostly fail at this goal, as you'll see below). - I'm fairly nomadic so I don't own a house, nor intend to buy one for the next decade at least. I'm currently living in the UK but might not be a couple of years from now, who knows! - I'm 33, don't have/want kids, and have a long-term unmarried partner. We have one joint account for household bills but otherwise maintain separate finances. - I work for myself. - I prefer to [maintain a slush fund rather than save up for individual savings goals.](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/savings-pockets/) - I have been exceptionally lucky in my life. I promise you, I count my blessings every day. - I'm a chronic over-sharer (obvs). **This is not advice, and your mileage may vary.** My financial life looks like this at the moment (not to scale): ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/03/IMG_20210303_065606.jpg) ## Hecking big pile o' cash I have a career with lumpy income (many months nothing, some months a lot) so I have a bigger pile of cash than most people need. At the moment, I'm trying to maintain my cash pile at about 6 months worth of expenses. I also have another 6 months worth of committed work (i.e. signed contracts) so it's about 12 months worth of secure runway. This money is for spending, so it hasn't felt worth over-optimising the interest rates I get on it (and interest rates in the UK are basically nothing). Right now, this cash is just sitting in bank-linked savings accounts earning minimal interest. I will probably spend some time hunting down better interest rates for this cash soon, but setting up UK business accounts and breaking my SA tax residency has used up my tolerance for admin recently! ### Business cash management I registered a limited business in the UK for my writing/freelancing income, that has its own bank account. I pay myself a salary out of that business of £732 a month, and any other money I take out as dividends, because that optimises my taxes and NI contributions. [Here's a video explaining why.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NN3nbatTEo&ab%5Fchannel=HonestMoney&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) My business has a [**Transferwise**](https://transferwise.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)account that I use to receive money from the U.S. and convert it into GBP. It's also useful for paying contractors in other countries. I use [**Stripe**](https://stripe.com/gb?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)for card processing. [**Xero**](https://www.xero.com/uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is my business's accounting tool, and I need the multicurrency feature so I'm on a pretty expensive tier (blah). [**Freshbooks**](https://www.freshbooks.com/en-gb/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is apparently a better designed app, but I've been using Xero for years and just didn't feel like learning a new accounting tool. I have a business bank account with [**Starling**](https://www.starlingbank.com/business-account/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)**.** I initially opened a [Monzo Business](https://monzo.com/i/business/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) account but it was missing some essentials for me (like the ability to receive international payments). ### Personal cash management I use [**Monzo**](https://monzo.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for day-to-day banking and my joint account with my partner. I pay for Monzo Plus and get 1% AER on any cash sitting in that account. Monzo is magic! If you'll need a business account at some point, though, I'd recommend using [**Starling**](https://www.starlingbank.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for both your personal and business accounts (that's what I wish I'd done, but now I'm too lazy to switch). I've kept one South African bank account open. I use [**Shyft**](https://getshyft.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) when I need to move money from SA to the UK. I have been looking for a replacement [**22seven**](https://www.22seven.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) money aggregation tool that supports accounts from all around the world, but [everything I've tried so far SUCKS](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/some-great-apps-and-tools-to-help-you-manage-your-money/). I've had to revert back to using Google Sheets like a FOOL (and built in a whole multicurrency conversion layer into my money dashboard). It's bloody awful. ## Freedom Fund You've heard me wax poetical about the beauty of [global ETFs](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/is-it-safe-to-invest-in-a-new-etf/). That's where I invest my Freedom Fund (long-term investments with no specific objective, just designed to let me make outrageous decisions like try to be a full-time fiction writer instead of having a real job). I keep this simple. I have an SA freedom fund and a UK freedom fund. Moving investments costs money, so I intend to just keep my old SA funds where they are. - **UK:** the [Vanguard FTSE Global All Cap Index Fund](https://www.vanguardinvestor.co.uk/investments/vanguard-ftse-global-all-cap-index-fund-gbp-acc?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (accumulation) that I buy through Vanguard directly. - **SA:** the [Satrix MSCI World ESG ETF](https://satrix.co.za/news/article?name=New!%5FSatrix%5FMSCI%5FWorld%5FESG%5FEnhanced%5FETF&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) that I buy through [EasyEquities](https://www.easyequities.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (it used to be the plain [Satrix MSCI World ETF](https://satrix.co.za/products/product-details?id=33&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) before they launched the ESG version). I use my TFSA/ISA tax-free allowances for these Freedom Funds. The TFSA/ISA allowance is like an invisibility cloak that hides your investments from the taxman (legally), but you have annual/lifetime limits about how much you can put under the invisibility cloak. Please use your TFSA/ISA limits for long-term investments rather than short-term savings. ## Don't Be Old & Poor You get a tax discount for using special retirement funds for money you won't touch until you're old, but these accounts are also less flexible. I only invest a portion of my long-term investments in them. My tax guy helps me work out how much to put in every year (get a tax guy if your financial life is complicated; tax rules make zero sense). - **SA:** I invest in the [Sygnia Skeleton 70](https://www.sygnia.co.za/fund/sygnia-skeleton-balanced-70-fund?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It's got low fees and close to the max offshore/equities allowances. [Stealthy Wealth has a great writeup about this.](https://www.stealthywealth.co.za/2018/01/the-best-ra-in-south-africa.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - **UK:** I've got a small pension pot invested through [Nest](https://www.nestpensions.org.uk/schemeweb/nest/about-pensions.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), initially set up through my ex-employer. I chose their [Ethical Growth](https://www.nestpensions.org.uk/schemeweb/nest/aboutnest/investment-approach/other-fund-choices/nest-ethical-fund.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) fund. I might move this to a [Vanguard SIPP](https://www.vanguardinvestor.co.uk/what-we-offer/personal-pension/personal-pension-account?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) later this year. ## The Lunatic Fringe A confession: I do own some random assets from the lunatic fringe of investing. My approach to these assets is to basically pretend that I don't own them. I don't take them into account when I plan my finances, and I try to limit them to around 5% of my overall portfolio. I regard these assets as lotto tickets that might one day pay off, but are mostly just there for my entertainment. ### Crypto I worked in fintech, which means I'm one of those assholes who owned like 3 Bitcoin back in 2015 and spent them on beer and pizza. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/03/luno.png) literally a screenshot from my Luno transaction history where I spent what is now R60,000 worth of Bitcoin on 5GB of data 😭 I have continuously sold down my crypto holdings over the years to rebalance them back down to about 5% of my portfolio (moving the cash into my much safer World ETFs instead). Yes, this means I've theoretically lost an enormous amount of hypothetical money over the years, but it also means that I've maintained a risk level that allows me to sleep at night. It's not a bad strategy overall. Also, let me tell you, *even as somebody who's worked in this space and understands it quite well*, I've bought my fair share of shitcoins over the years that are now worth zero. Hence the wisdom of never counting on your speculative assets, and never investing more than you can bear to lose. Currently, I own small amounts of BTC, BCH, ETC, ETH, XRP, IOTA and XTZ. Please don't ask me to talk about crypto. I have complicated feelings about crypto. ### Individual shares (stonks) Sometimes I buy a tiny amount of an individual stock, mostly just to remind myself how bad I am at picking stocks. My current holdings are: - Famous Brands (because of my devotion to Steers) doing awfully, thanks Covid - Netflix, doing fine, thanks Covid - Canopy Growth (getting in on that sweet sweet marijuana money), doing poorly because I bought in at the height of the hype bubble like an idiot - hear me, r/WallStreetBets? - Nvidia (mostly because of self-driving cars), doing great I do not recommend buying individual shares. Everybody thinks they are better at this than they are. The data says that [even professional share pickers are not good at this](https://www.ifa.com/articles/despite%5Fbrief%5Freprieve%5F2018%5Fspiva%5Freport%5Freveals%5Factive%5Ffunds%5Ffail%5Fdent%5Findexing%5Flead%5F-%5Fworks/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). If you're going to be a fool like me and buy shares anyway, limit it to tiny amounts you can afford to lose. ### Direct business shares Lastly, I own shares in some small tech businesses that I cofounded with my buddies. Valuing businesses is dark magic so I basically never do it. I don't include their value on my own money dashboard, because they are too high-risk to count on. Hope for the best, plan for the worst, I say! I think the same way about things that I write. Over a writer's career, what you're trying to do is build up a portfolio of assets (books, short stories, comics, whatever) that will hopefully pay dividends for you, for as long as possible. Being an artist means being an entrepreneur, just one with even wilder odds of success. I'm pessimistic by nature, so I don't include these assets on my money dashboard either. I try to make sure that I'm not going to be old and poor (my #1 financial goal always) even if I never earn a single cent from any of these assets. If you have the appetite for it, starting your own business is probably the single most impactful way to build wealth over a few years. But it's also *really* not for everybody. There you have it, you inquisitive busybodies! I hope you enjoyed this look inside my financial underwear drawer. Feel free to [ask any clarifying questions](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/contact), and remember that what works for me will be different to what works for you. Mega smooches Sam ### My favourite resources about the craft of writing fiction URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/my-favourite-resources-about-the-craft-of-fiction-writing/ Last updated: 2024-11-26T10:47:13.000Z Hey, fellow fiction writers (AKA people with too many imaginary friends)! There are a lot of resources out there about the craft of storytelling, because writers love to procrastinate by writing about writing, instead of whatever they're actually supposed to be working on. Here's a hand-picked list of only my favourite resources, to help you hone in on the most useful stuff. ## Books If you're feeling creatively stuck or lacking inspiration: - Stephen King's [*On Writing*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/10569.On%5FWriting?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - Anna Lamott's [*Bird by Bird*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/12543.Bird%5Fby%5FBird?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - Matthew Kalil's [*The Three Wells of Screenwriting*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/39332948-the-three-wells-of-screenwriting?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - Natalie Goldberg's [*Writing Down the Bones*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/44905.Writing%5FDown%5Fthe%5FBones?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=ItDoNyWRbk&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - Rainer Maria Rilke's [*Letters to a Young Poet*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/46199.Letters%5Fto%5Fa%5FYoung%5FPoet?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - Austin Kleon's[*Steal Like an Artist*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13099738-steal-like-an-artist?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)(and [blog](https://austinkleon.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)) - Julia Cameron's [*The Artist's Way*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/615570.The%5FArtist%5Fs%5FWay?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F16) Books about the foundations of storytelling - character, plotting, genre and structure: - Chuck Wendig's [*Damn Fine Story*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34430020-damn-fine-story?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)(and [blog](http://terribleminds.com/ramble/blog/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)) - wonderful insights about lovable characters, and the best plotting book for "pantsers" - Jessica Brody's [*Save the Cat Writes a Novel*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/32805475-save-the-cat-writes-a-novel?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=o0BxIcsmtg&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)\- a helpful guide to structure and genre (also watch one of [StudioBinder's excellent YouTube videos](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N%5FJxIzYfZGM&ab%5Fchannel=StudioBinder&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)) - Shawn Coyne's [*The Story Grid*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25455700-the-story-grid?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)(and [podcast](https://storygrid.com/podcasts/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)) - a useful book for rigorous "plotters" who like having a spreadsheet - Robert McKee's [*Story*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/48654.Story?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)\- long, dense, dated, but still an essential text - John Yorke's [*Into the Woods*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17593915-into-the-woods?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=nSe8ENvLFK&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- a more philosophical and psychological book about why stories have the shape they do Books about style and language, most helpful in the editing stage: - Strunk & White's [*Elements of Style*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/33514.The%5FElements%5Fof%5FStyle?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - Ursula Le Guin's [*Steering the Craft*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/68024.Steering%5Fthe%5FCraft?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=52yLprFHTq&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - Matt Bell's [*Refuse to be Done*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58640362-refuse-to-be-done?ref=nav%5Fsb%5Fss%5F1%5F17) - David Michael Kaplan's [*Revision*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/794792.Revision?ac=1&from%5Fsearch=true&qid=CVc2KwUfaL&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)(tricky to find; [here's a summary](https://eternal-dannation.tumblr.com/post/24049918429/revising-your-prose-for-power-and-punch?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)) Finally, the best book about marketing yourself as an author without hating it is Austin Kleon's[*Show Your Work*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18290401-show-your-work?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*.* ## Online - [Dan Harmon's 6-part series about the "story circle"](https://channel101.fandom.com/wiki/Story%5FStructure%5F101:%5FSuper%5FBasic%5FShit?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Chuck Palahniuk's "nuts and bolts" essays in Lit Reactor ](https://litreactor.com/essays/36-writing-essays-by-chuck-palahniuk?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)([and a later series](https://litreactor.com/essays/chuck-palahniuks-2014-essays?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)) - I particularly love his piece about ["thought" verbs](https://litreactor.com/essays/chuck-palahniuk/nuts-and-bolts-%E2%80%9Cthought%E2%80%9D-verbs?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Emma Coats' 22 rules of storytelling from Pixar](https://www.aerogrammestudio.com/2013/03/07/pixars-22-rules-of-storytelling/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - Reddit's [r/writing](https://www.reddit.com/r/writing/wiki/index?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [r/screenwriting](https://www.reddit.com/r/Screenwriting/wiki/index?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) both have very useful Wikis - start there if you want to understand how to get published - [Tips for writing fight scenes and weapons accurately](https://crimefictionbook.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Martine Leavitt's](https://www.martineleavitt.com/thoughts-on-writing.php?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) essays about writing go into very helpful specifics - I specifically [love this one about how to convey emotion](https://martineleavitt.com/downloads/metaphor.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [A great roundup of other useful links across the web](https://couponfollow.com/research/money-saving-guide-authors-writers/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), including free online courses, writing organisations, manuscript formatting, how to find an editor/agent, and more. Many thanks to young writer Anna for suggesting this goldmine! - [Ryan Holiday's expansive blog post](https://medium.com/the-mission/here-with-2-years-of-exhausting-photographic-detail-is-how-to-write-a-book-fda1a6b40802?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about all the steps that go into creating a book - Jerry Jenkin's ["How to Write a Novel"](https://jerryjenkins.com/how-to-write-a-novel/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is a good beginner guide; and his [self-editing checklist](https://jerryjenkins.com/self-editing/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is very helpful - The Jericho Writers' [guide to preparing a manuscript for querying](https://jerichowriters.com/manuscript-presentation/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## Podcasts - [Scriptnotes](https://johnaugust.com/scriptnotes?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Story Break](https://maximumfun.org/podcasts/story-break/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - The Tim Ferris Show (filter for episodes where he interviews writers, like [this one with Joyce Carol Oates](https://tim.blog/2021/02/10/joyce-carol-oates/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)) - [The Writer's Panel](https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-writers-panel/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Publishing Rodeo](https://publishingrodeo.wordpress.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Writing Excuses](https://writingexcuses.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## Tools - [Panlexicon](https://panlexicon.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- a better thesaurus - [Grammarly](https://grammarly.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- a better spelling/grammar checker - [Pro Writing Aid](https://prowritingaid.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- various useful editing tools for serious writers - [Obsidian](https://obsidian.md/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- my favourite digital note-taking app (if you're entirely in the Apple ecosystem, [Bear](https://bear.app/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is also great) - For writing novels, I switch between [Ulysses](https://ulysses.app/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (best for the tech-savvy) and [First Draft Pro](https://www.firstdraftpro.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (a fantastic tool for beginner writers). [Scrivener](https://www.literatureandlatte.com/scrivener/overview?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is the devil and my work never feels safe there - For collaborative editing, I use [Google Docs](https://docs.google.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), unless editors force me to use the turdpile that is Microsoft Word - I'm currently using [WriterDuet](https://www.writerduet.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for screenwriting; [Highland 2](https://highland2.app/screenwriters.php?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is also good - [Ghost](https://ghost.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is my blog platform and email sender, [Wix](https://www.wix.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is your best option for simple websites, and [Shopify](https://www.shopify.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is great for selling your own stuff Got suggestions? I love suggestions! [Pop me a mail.](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/contact/) ### How to make hard decisions URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-to-make-hard-decisions/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:40:35.000Z Hello, grownups! There's a passage from Sylvia Plath's *The Bell Jar* that I think about often. > I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet. The best thing about being young is the feeling that you can still choose to be anything. This is also, of course, the worst thing about being young. I'm a pathological life-optimiser, but I'm also somebody who's always struggled making hard decisions. Ending relationships, starting new careers, moving cities... It takes me AGES to think through questions like this. I tie myself in knots thinking through every possible eventuality. I make spreadsheets. I make pros and cons lists. I make mind-maps. And then weeks go by and I realise I still haven't made... a damn decision. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/02/chidi.gif) Chidi Anagonye, kindred spirit After many, many years of patiently listening to me fret over life decisions, my dear friends Meg and Maya suggested this 15-minute TED talk by philosopher Ruth Chang. It's been one of the most valuable ways I've ever spent 15 minutes (thank you, M&M!). Ruth's talk helped me understand what hard decisions are, and why they're hard. She points out that **HARD** decisions aren't the same thing as **BIG** decisions. A big decision is one that has a large impact on your life. But **BIG** decisions can be **EASY**: you're offered your dream job, and it's clearlybetter than your current job; your partner is abusive and you should definitely leave them; Dolly Parton offers you a hug. A **HARD** decision is when you have to choose between two different options that are both equally good (usually in different ways). A small decision can be a hard one: which of these two puppies are you going to cuddle first? IMPOSSIBLE CHOICE because every puppy is perfect. But of course, hard small decisions don't matter very much. It's BIG and HARD choices that really drive you crazy. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/02/bigsmall.jpg) So, the first thing to do when you're feeling vexed over a BIG decision is to work out whether it's actually a HARD decision. Sometimes, a decision feels hard only because you don't have enough information about it. It's a decision that does have an objectively better answer, you just might not know what that answer is. Choices like, "should I buy this house" often become easy to after you do a bit of research and thinking. Choices like, "should I marry this person" usually don't. ### Making big decisions easier Chip and Dan Heath's book *[Decisive](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15798078-decisive?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* is a great playbook for making BIG decisions EASIER. They outline four traps we tend to fall into when making decisions: 1. **Narrow framing**: we view a decision as a choice between two things, when actually there might be other options we're not considering. 2. **Confirmation bias**: we pre-decide something, and then only notice information that supports the beliefs we already have. 3. **Short-term emotions**: we place too much emphasis on how we feel in the moment, and too little on the long-term ramifications of a decision. 4. **Over-confidence**: we think we can predict the future better than we can. If you ever notice that you're trying to choose between competing options, and it feels hard, that might be because *neither option is good enough*. A big part of making choices is **creating new options** for yourself. We often fall into the trap of thinking that decisions are all-or-nothing, when actually a little bit of something might be the best outcome for you. As an example: what if you've got a job that pays the bills but your real passion is teaching parrots to yodel. Should you quit your job to focus full-time on your yodelling parrot choir? Well, those aren't your only two options. You could try renegotiating your job down to a four-day work-week, or you could get a different job that involves more parrots than your current job. Don't get stuck looking only at the options right in front of you, you might miss some better ones in your periphery. You can also make some decisions easier by **gathering more information** about your options. It can help to actually write down your assumptions, and then go and do some research and check whether they're true. Most big decisions benefit from a few hours of research! Like, if you're trying to choose what to study at university, you might want to look up the average post-graduate employment rates of people with those degrees. If you're stuck in a decision with your partner, maybe you need to drag yourselves to couple's therapy and make sure that their views on a matter are actually what you assume they are. We are hopelessly bad at forecasting how we'll feel in the future. Address that by **speaking to real people** who've made similar decisions in the past and ask how they feel about their decision now. [Reddit can be a great place to ask anonymous questions ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ea4ifl/what%5Fjobcareer%5Fseems%5Ffun%5Fand%5Fawesome%5Fon%5Fpaper%5Fbut/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)of people in unusual careers, or who have been through similar situations to you. Even better: if you can, try taking your options for a test-drive. If you're considering a new job, ask if you can work on contract there for the first month to see if it's a good fit for you; if you're thinking of moving somewhere, go on a holiday there first. Try, as much as you can, to **ignore short-term feelings** when making long-term decisions. Don't NOT break up with somebody you should break up with because the immediate process of breaking up with them sucks. Don't NOT quit a job because you'll feel bad for disappointing a kind boss. They'll get over it. You'll get over it. The outcome you'll be left with matters more. Combat confirmation bias by **actively looking for the counter-points** to your assumptions: ask your most sensible businesswoman friend if they think you should take a job at an NGO; ask your most romantically cynical pal if you should get married. You're not letting other people tell you what to do, you're just making sure you're seeing the whole picture. Lastly, understand that **few decision are forever**, and it's healthy to learn more about a decision later and decide it's no longer right for you. I'm a big believer in actively setting up deadlines to review big decisions a few months down the line. The Heaths call this "setting a tripwire". It's important to do this, because all of us are guilty of the **sunk-cost fallacy**, where we tie ourselves to poor decisions because we don't want to "waste" the time/resources we already invested into them. I do this by literally setting a calendar entry a few months after I make a big decision reminding myself to reassess it, and ask myself if it is still what I want to commit to. That's how you prevent a bad decision from becoming a life-alteringly bad decision. **So, a quick action plan for making a big decision easier:** 1. Brainstorm alternative options. 2. Make a list of actions you could take to get more information about your options (e.g. look up questions online, ask people who've made a similar decision, seek out counter-views, "test-drive" the options, make a spreadsheet). 3. Ask yourself how you might feel about this 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years from now. Try to ignore your short-term feels as much as you can. Another way to get distance from your emotions is to ask yourself: "what advice would I give to my best friend in this situation"? 4. Set an appointment with yourself sometime in the future to review your decision (put it in your calendar). Often, you'll find that if you go through these steps, what looked like a difficult choice is actually a perfectly easy one: there is an option that is clearly better than the others. Don't spend too long trying to make a decision. You will never be able to perfectly predict the future, and you'll drive yourself nuts trying. As Oliver Burkeman puts it, "The future will never provide the reassurance you seek from it." Do your best to choose well, but don't dither forever. ### What do to with hard decisions But here's the deep shit, friends: sometimes you'll be confronted with a choice that *can't* be made easier. No amount of research or thinking will give you an objectively better option. These are the truly **hard choices**, and they are the most important ones you'll ever make. Like many people, I had a dramatic quarter-life career crisis in my mid-20s. I hated my job and I wanted to do something else. I went through all the steps above: I found alternative choices, I filled a whole notebook with research about my options. I invented an elaborate system where I rated each option against a list of weighted priorities, hoping that I could just get a score that would tell me what I should bloody do with my life. TELL ME WHAT TO DO, NUMBERS! Oh sweet, foolish 20-something Sam. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/02/decisions1.jpg) I dug up this notebook the other day, and was just overcome with affection for the confused dolt who wrote all this. I was approaching it like a problem to be solved, a question that had an objective correct answer that I just needed to *find*. In other words, I was treating a hard decision like an easy decision. But of course, some decisions have no objectively best choice. Some decisions are a pure act of will, of self-determination. Often, with hard decisions, your options are good in different ways. They support different values that you have. But how do you rank the values themselves? There is no external or objective way to do that. All that's left is you: what kind of person you want to be, what kind of life you want to live. Human beings are excellent rationalisers. We're great at coming up with reasons that explain the choices we made, even though those were often not the actual reasons we made the choice. When a choice is hard, you have the power to create good reasons for either choice. You get to author the story of your life. This is where Ruth Chang's work was so helpful to me. Ruth points out that moments like this few, and that each one is a gift. > It’s here, in the space of hard choices, that we get to exercise our normative power, the power to create reasons for yourself, to make yourself into the kind of person for whom country living is preferable to the urban life. When we choose between options that are on a par, we can do something quite remarkable: we can put our very selves behind an option. Here’s where I stand. Here’s who I am. I’m for banking. I’m for chocolate donuts. This response in hard choices is a rational response, but it’s not dictated by reasons given to us. Rather, it’s supported by reasons created by us. When we create reasons for ourselves to become this kind of person rather than that, we wholeheartedly become the people that we are ... You become yourself through hard choices. Hard choices are precious opportunities to celebrate what’s special about the human condition. That’s why hard choices are not a curse, but a godsend. You can't make a hard choice using the strategies that help you make an easy choice. You have to just... make it. And then you have to live with the choice that you made. Ultimately, the best exercise I've found when making a hard choice is this: tell the story of your life, having made one decision. I like to have these long imaginary conversations with myself while I'm out walking (pro-tip: put headphones on so people don't realise you're talking to yourself, like a WEIRDO). Try explaining to an imaginary person how your life brought you to the point where you had to make this choice, and then why you made the choice you did. Now, do the same thing with the other choice. Which of those stories do you want to live with? You get to choose. ### The tie-breaker Okay okay okay, are you still ENTIRELY CONFUSED? Here's one last rule of thumb for times when you've thought through a choice in detail, and you STILL don't know what to do, from Oliver Burkeman. The tie-breaker. > When stumped by a life choice, choose “enlargement” over happiness. I’m indebted to the Jungian therapist James Hollis for the insight that major personal decisions should be made not by asking, “Will this make me happy?”, but “Will this choice enlarge me or diminish me?” We’re terrible at predicting what will make us happy: the question swiftly gets bogged down in our narrow preferences for security and control. But the enlargement question elicits a deeper, intuitive response. You tend to just ”know” whether, say, leaving or remaining in a relationship or a job, though it might bring short-term comfort, would mean cheating yourself of growth. (Relatedly, don’t worry about burning bridges: irreversible decisions tend to be more satisfying, because now there’s only one direction to travel – forward into whatever choice you made. Wishing you hard choices, yodelling parrots, and growth, Sam --- ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/02/spring.jpg) Spring is coming! ### Updates from Sam-Land Somehow, loves, I survived the [Winter of Weird](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-winter-of-weird/). And boy, was it weird. We're still in strict lockdown here in the UK, but it's amazing how much better everything feels now that the days are getting longer and brighter, buds are appearing on trees, and seeds are poking hesitant sprouts up through the soil. "Weird" was a pretty successful theme for winter: it helped me choose books I wouldn't have chosen, films I wouldn't have watched, games I wouldn't have played, activities I wouldn't have tried. I don't think it was as emotionally rejuvenating as I'd hoped it would be, but that miiiiight have had something to do with the fact that I've been imprisoned in my house since October during a pandemic, who knows! I haven't decided on a new theme for spring yet. I've been thinking about something like The Spring of Amateurism, because I'm working on a creative project that's pushing me far outside of my comfort zone, and the imposter syndrome is strong! I'd love to be planning the Spring of Going to South Africa and Giving All My Friends and Family a Giant Bloody In-Person Hug, but that's probably not on the cards just yet :) Whether you're going into spring or autumn (the best season), I'm beaming you a big virtual hug anyway. **Recent lovely things:** - Sara Gran's *[City of the Dead](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9231999-claire-dewitt-and-the-city-of-the-dead?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, a mystery novel about an esoteric detective. It didn't quite work for me as a mystery, but it slapped as a portrait of post-Katrina New Orleans. - Paul Tremblay's *[A Head Full of Ghosts](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23019294-a-head-full-of-ghosts?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*. Horror novel about a teenage girl who might be possessed by demons or might be suffering from schizophrenia. Absolutely brilliant; one of my favourite novels of the year so far. - Austin Kleon's *[Show Your Work](https://austinkleon.com/show-your-work/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, a book for people who hate the very idea of self-promotion but have to do it anyway. It's excellent, and [Austin's blog](https://austinkleon.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is one of my favourite places on the Internet. - The 2013 documentary *[Fire in the Blood](https://www.netflix.com/title/70268209?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, which is on Netflix. It's about how pharmaceutical companies and Western governments intentionallyobstructed access to life-saving antiretrovirals during Africa's HIV/AIDS crisis, leading to the completely avoidable deaths of approximately **ten million people**. It is devastating, enraging, and all-too-bloody timely, considering the vaccine inequality unfolding again around the world right now. - The teen horror-romcom movie *[Spontaneous](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5774062/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, recommended by my friend Dale, which is about teenagers that start spontaneously exploding, and is much more poignant than you'd expect it to be. ### What buying a new car in my 20s did to my net worth URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-dumbest-thing-i-ever-bought/ Last updated: 2026-08-26T13:51:03.000Z Hello, grownups! Today I want to tell you a quick story about the stupidest purchase of my 20s: a brand new car (AKA the She-Hulk). In my mid-20s, I had a job working for an ad agency (because what else do you do with a degree in literature and religious studies?). I got promoted to a role that I was dramatically under-qualified for, that required me to be in front of clients occasionally. It was all very thrilling! And also nerve-racking, since it was surely just a matter of time before everyone else realised I was an imposter who had nooooo damn idea what I was doing. ![Vincent Adultman from Bojack Horseman. "Good. I went to a stock market today. I did a business."](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/02/vincent.gif) In a misguided attempt to get other people to take me more seriously, I decided to use most of my new promotion money to buy a new car. Now, I had a perfectly good car already: an ancient Corsa Lite named [Tony Moneo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ncVbHW%5FNGQ&ab%5Fchannel=GideonNieuwoudt&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It didn't have aircon, power steering, or even a reliable handbrake, but it DID have a rocking sound system and dozens of bumper stickers. Most importantly, it did the job of taking me places perfectly well. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/02/image-12.png) Tony Moneo, AKA a portrait of early 20s Sam in bumper stickers. I decided to buy a new car pretty much on a whim driving home from work one day. There *happened* to be a Hyundai dealership on my route home, so that's where I went. It took me about ten minutes after arriving at the dealership to decide on a make and model. Yes, friends, I put less thought into buying a car than I usually put into buying a pair of jeans. Young Sam was not very smart about money. I chose a cute blue little i20\. I couldn't actually afford it, but the very "helpful" salesman moved some numbers around, added a giant balloon payment, and then POOF! Suddenly I could. (Friends, never never take a balloon payment in a car loan; trust me). I really loved driving that Hyundai... for about two weeks. Then, to be honest, I seldom thought about it. But for the next few years, that Hyundai continued to steadily drain money out of my bank account anyway. Those were the years when I was [spiralling deeper and deeper into deb](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/get-out-of-debt/)t, but selling the She-Hulk seemed impossible. It felt like it would be too embarrassing, after having posted photos of my shmancy new car all over Instagram and shown it to my parents in an attempt to reassure them that see, it WASN'T so silly to spend four years getting an Arts degree. It really was the dumbest thing I've ever bought. **Usually, our biggest financial mistakes happen when we spend money to try to fix our emotional problems.** It seldom works. A lot of people who don't know me assume I'm a miser. I'm really not: I *love* spending money. I just hate **wasting** money. To me, money is wastedif the amount of joy or meaning you trade it for isn't worth the cost. **Wasting money makes me mad, because there is a finite amount of money you'll have in your life.** And, more importantly, a finite amount of time. When salesmen sell you debt-based products, they try to keep you focussed on the **monthly repayment amount**. They want you to think that asking "can I afford this" means "could I pay this repayment amount every month?" But there's a totally different way to evaluate big financial decisions like this: "what will this decision cost me **overall**, and what could I do with that money instead?" So let's compare two different approaches to buying a car: buying a new car with a car loan, versus buying a second-hand car with cash. For this example, let's imagine that I want to buy a Hyundai i20 like the She-Hulk (it was, after all, a perfectly fine car). ![A Street Fighter II loading screen featuring a new car versus a used car](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/02/streetfight.png) FIGHT! ### Scenario 1: brand spanking new car You can buy [a brand new Hyundai i20 1.2l Motion](https://www.hyundaideals.co.za/cars/new/brand/hyundai/model/i20/hyundai-i10-i20-i30-i20-12-motion-324187?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for R278,500, for the cheapest model. I plugged this into the [Wesbank vehicle finance calculator](https://www.wesbank.co.za/home/calculate?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) on the presets, and it spits out these figures: - **Cost of car: R278,500** - **Payment term: 72 months (6 years)** - **Interest rate: 13%** Let's also assume that you have to service the car occasionally (this specific deal comes with a warranty but not a service plan). Because it's a brand new car, let's say that you only have to keep R2,000 a year aside for this. Overall, this deal will cost you **R5,598 a month**. Over the 6 years of your car loan, it will cost you you **R403,028** in total. *Sidenote: I'm ignoring petrol and insurance, just for simplicity.* At the end of the 6 years, your Hyundai will be worth [about R90,000](https://carbookvalue.co.za/done?i=HYUNDAI&m=4723&year=2014&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) if you sell it. Upsides: you get a spanking new Hyundai, and you can get it immediately. You're also less likely to deal with breakdowns and mechanical issues. These are all very nice things! ### Scenario 2: buy a second-hand car in cash You can buy [a second-hand Hyundai i20 1.6l GLS](https://www.autotrader.co.za/car-for-sale/hyundai/i20/gls/25849286?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for R70,000\. That's a 2010 model, so it's pretty old. Let's also budget a full R10,000 a year for repairs and maintenance. You'd already budgeted **R5,598 a month** to buy the new car. Let's imagine that, instead, you save that amount of money every month until you can afford to buy the car cash. That's going to take a year, during which time you'll be bumming lifts, riding a bike or dealing with public transport. Now, here's the fun part. After you've bought your car cash, let's say that you keep saving that same amount every month. Because you're saving for 5+ years, it's smart to put that money into the stock market through a [diversified ETF](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/is-it-safe-to-invest-in-a-new-etf/). Let's assume you get an average of 7% a year growth, after inflation (that's the long-term average for equities). Using the "investing monthly" calculator in the [Money Dashboard](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/dashboard/), you'll see that those savings would be worth about **R400,000** after 5 years. That's enough money to, for instance, [buy a plot of land in Hermanus](https://www.property24.com/for-sale/fisherhaven/hermanus/western-cape/10544/107245954?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), also in cash. It's probably also enough money for you to take a year-long sabbatical, or pay for [full undergraduate degrees](https://www.wits.ac.za/study-at-wits/fees-and-funding/fees-office/undergraduate-fees/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) at Wits University for two children. ### Who's the winner? At the end of 6 years, here's where you stand: | | New car | Used car | | -------------------- | --------------------------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------------------- | | Total spent | R403,028 | R403,028 | | End value of car | R90,000 | 0 | | End value of savings | 0 | R400,000 | | Upsides | New car, no bumming lifts for the first year, fewer mechanical issues | Everything else you can do with R400k | So, what's the better decision? The answer is: **it depends what you value**. For me, a new car is pretty much never going to be worth it, because I don't actually give a shit about cars, and there are many things I'd much rather do with all that money. But there are other people who sincerely love cars, and heck, those people really should spend as much money on cars as they can. The point is: **make a thoughtful decision** about big purchases like this. Think through the lifetime cost of the purchase, and not just the amount you pay every month. Consider the opportunity cost: what is everything else you could do with the money instead. I'm talking about cars here, because it was a choice that affected my own 20s significantly, but we waste money on a bunch of things that don't bring us much value: energy bills, insurance, fancy cellphone contracts... If you've already made big financial decisions, it's important to re-evaluate them from time to time, too, based on your financial situation **today**. A couple of years ago, a reader sent me this graph. It's a screenshot of his 22seven account, showing his net worth over time. After reading my money book, he decided to take cash out of one of his savings accounts and use it to settle his car loan. You can see what happens to the graph when he did. ![A graph that is flat for a long time, then drops suddenly, then increases again until it's higher than at the beginning.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/02/22sevencar.png) You always have choices. Use them, because your money and your life are both limited. Spend money! But don't waste money. Wishing you bumper stickers and thoughtful financial decisions, Sam --- ### How to start a side-hustle ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/02/image-15.png) My buddy Nic Haralambous just released the ultimate guidebook to starting a side-hustle. I've read it and it's great: practical, inspiring and full of truth-bombs (I particularly loved the section about how new entrepreneurs often get caught up in all the "formal" stuff you think you need to start a business, like business registration or business cards, before they've actually tested that people want to buy what they're selling). [It's out now](https://www.slowhustle.org/how-to-start-a-side-hustle-book?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and it's the playbook you were looking for if you were thinking about starting a side-hustle but didn't know how to start. --- ![Moss coming up through the snow](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/02/image-14.png) friends, it cold ### Updates from Sam-Land Somehow, despite having followed our lockdown rules rigorously, I've managed to pick up a flu virus (HOW??? Did it climb into my window while I was asleep???). It's not Covid (we tested), but I've been quite ill this week. Please appreciate how much I love you that I wrote you a newsletter this week anyway! I've otherwise spent the week lying on the couch reading Mark Gevisser's [*The Pink Line*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/51542351-the-pink-line?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)(which is wonderful) and binging [Ted Lasso](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10986410/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (also wonderful). Please beam me healing vibes! ### Looking = Loving URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/looking-loving/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:40:57.000Z Probably the strangest object in my house growing up was my mother's "pet rock". It was literally a small, smooth rock with a face painted on it, but my mother insisted that we treat it as a sentient creature named Jemima. She loved to show off all the tricks it could do. These tricks included "sit", "stay", "play dead" and, with some encouragement, "roll-over". She would boast about how it was the most well-behaved pet in the household. My mom thought this was hilarious, and obviously we thought she was nuts. Pet rocks were a big craze in the 1970s. Some guy named [Gary Dahl](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary%5FDahl%5F%28entrepreneur%29?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) sold a million of them for $4 a pop, along with an honestly hilarious guide to the ["care and training of your pet rock"](http://csinvesting.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/The-Care-and-Training-of-Your-Pet-Rock-Manual-by-Gary-Dahl.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). This is what bored teenagers did in the 70s instead of TikTok, and I take it as proof that human beings can bond with anything that has a face. It's one of my favourite things about humans, actually: how we can form attachments to the weirdest things. ![A small clump of moss with googly eyes on it.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/02/todd.jpg) A few months ago I found this round clump of moss and put googly eyes on it and brought it home and now his name is Todd and he lives in my garden and I would kill for him. I've been stuck in my house a lot, very far away from my loved ones. And I've been finding myself getting weirdly sentimental about strange things recently, like all of the energy I usually put into loving my friends and family is attaching itself to any old thing it comes across. I've found myself feeling pangs of affection for pigeons, obsessing over the territory battles going on between the baby spiders in my bathroom, spending long minutes marvelling at the shape of the tree I can see through the window above my desk. Falling in love with the world. In my [observational drawing classes](https://www.instagram.com/drawingwithmindfulness/?hl=en&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), we're studying 17th-19th century naturalists: those early pioneers of European "natural history" who explored and documented the natural world. They believed in close observation of individuals within their environment, and were interested in charting the evolution of species. This led to a boom in naturalists running around in various countrysides assembling vast collections of things, like shells or insects or wildflowers. These collections were displayed in private homes, and eventually became the foundations of the world's natural history museums, like the Iziko in Cape Town or the Natural History Museum in New York, or my absolute favourite museum in the world, the [Hunterian Museum in London](https://www.rcseng.ac.uk/museums-and-archives/hunterian-museum/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (fair warning: my friend Simon calls it the "dead baby museum", and he's not wrong - it's an unsettling place). *Sidenote: a lot of this urge to categorise and classify within rigid hierarchical systems led to some profoundly problematic shit, like the development of totally nonsense racial science. Natural history exploration was tied up with colonialism, and often missed an awareness of the interconnectedness of organisms that was better understood by the very cultures they were in the process of destroying. There was a real dark side to all this, and it wasn't only cute nerds innocently collecting insects. But I digress.* These were the days before colour photography, so art and science were deeply entwined; drawing something accurately was the only way to document it. But drawing does something else, too: it forces you to slow down and really look at something. ![A richly coloured drawing of jellyfish by Ernst Heinrich Haeckel](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/02/image-6.png) Ernst Heinrich Haeckel's (1834 –1919) drawings of jellyfish It was this strange time when science was becoming professionalized, and there were walls going up between Official Scientists who were allowed to Do Science Officially (attached to scientific academies) and everyone else. But those borders were still porous, and a lot of naturalists were passionate amateurs, rather than professionals. A lot of the greatest naturalists were women, like [Marriane North](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marianne%5FNorth?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Else Bostelmann](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Else%5FWinkler%5Fvon%5FRoeder%5FBostelmann?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Margaret Gatty](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Margaret%5FGatty?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Maria Sybilla Merian](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maria%5FSibylla%5FMerian?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Even [Beatrix Potter](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beatrix%5FPotter?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), the creator of both *The Tale of Peter Rabbit* and [my lifelong fear of owls](https://www.gutenberg.org/files/14872/14872-h/14872-h.htm?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), was a naturalist. Before she got into terrorising/entertaining children, she studied mushrooms. Fun story: in 1897, she made a pretty major breakthrough about the germination of mushroom spores and submitted a paper about it to one of the fancy science academies (the Linnean Society). They accepted her paper, but wouldn't allow HER into the academy when they presented and debated it (since, you know, woman). The Linnean society did ultimately write her a letter of apology ... in the year 1997, 54 years after she died. NICE GOING, SCIENCE DUDES. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/02/image-7.png) Beatrix Potter: reproductive system of *[Hygrocybe coccinea](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hygrocybe%5Fcoccinea?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, 1897. Here's what I love about these old-timey naturalists: they weren't professionals. **They were people who fell in love with the world**, and thought it was so beautiful and strange that they devoted their lives to looking at it. In fact, a lot of them were what was known as "parson-naturalists", priests who saw studying the natural world an extension of their worship of God. That was how Darwin got started, actually: he studied to be a priest, but ultimately found that he was more strongly drawn towards "natural philosophy" than abstract theology. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/02/image-11.png) A Kumataro Ito drawing of a mollusk from 1908 We've never needed people to fall in love with the natural world as much as we do today. [**Global populations of mammals, birds, fish, amphibians and reptiles plunged by 68%, on average, between 1970 and 2016**](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-54091048?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). We know, intellectually, that's bad. But we don't feel anything when we look at that number. Our brains aren't designed to connect with numbers in the way that they connect with faces, even faces we made by putting googly eyes on clumps of moss. I watched a documentary on Netflix a few months ago called *[David Attenborough: A Life on Our Planet](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64R2MYUt394&ab%5Fchannel=Netflix&ref=sambeckbessinger.com).* It's a devastating, brilliant piece about the damage humans have done to the planet over the past century. But it's not the facts that get to you; it's seeing for yourself what the damage **looks like**. There's this one scene showing a rainforest in Borneo that was cleared to be replaced with palm oil plantations (which has happened to over half of the world's rainforests). It closes with a shot of a newly homeless orangutan climbing a lone tree, and I swear, if you can watch that scene without balling your bloody eyes out then you are made of titanium. Art like that **puts a face** onto biodiversity loss. It tugs on our sweet human heartstrings, way more than reading facts about it can do. ![Screenshot of the Netflix documentary David Attenborough: A Life on Our Planet showing an orangutan sitting in a lonely tree](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/02/image-9.png) If you've seen this documentary, I'm sorry to make you look at this again! I read a dozen books about climate change last year, and my favourite by far was Naomi Klein's *[This Changes Everything: Capitalism vs. The Climate](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/21913812-this-changes-everything?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*. There's a chapter called "Love Will Save This Place" where she talks about examples where passionate communities successfully pushed back against new fossil fuel projects. These communities were motivated by concerns about air and water pollution, but also by love for the natural world they are connected to. > The power of this ferocious love is what resource companies and their advocates in government inevitably underestimate, precisely because no amount of money can extinguish it. When what is being fought for is an identity, a culture, a beloved place that people are determined to pass onto their grandchildren, and that their ancestors may have paid for with great sacrifice, there is nothing companies can offer as a bargaining chip. No safety pledge will assuage; no bribe will be big enough. And though this kind of connection to place is surely strongest in Indigenous communities where the ties to the land go back thousands of years, it is in fact \[the grassroots climate justice movement's\] defining feature. Part of what has gone wrong with the human species' relationship with our world is that we've treated it as a resource to be accounted for only in how it can be of utility to us, rather than as something that is precious for its own sake. **We've treated the finite as though it is infinite**, and extracted without restoring over several centuries. Falling in love with nature, as unbearably hokey as that sounds, is the only thing that can break us out of this mindset. As Iris Murdoch puts it, "love is the difficult realisation that something other than yourself is real." There are still ways to contribute meaningfully to science as an amateur, even today. Now, we call this "Citizen Science" (although you're welcome to call yourself a Naturalist if you prefer). There's this [puzzle game you can play on the web](http://fold.it/portal/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) that helps scientists figure out how proteins fold (a project that might help us design better drugs to treat HIV). Or you can help scientists label images of [Beluga Whales](https://www.zooniverse.org/projects/stephenresearch/beluga-bits/about/research?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to learn more about their family structures. [Zooniverse](https://www.zooniverse.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) has dozens of Citizen Science projects, including things you can do in your garden, in nature, or online. If you're in South Africa, and thrilled that the beaches have re-opened, why not join the [Elasmobranch Monitoring Organization](https://www.elmoafrica.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (ELMO) which tracks shark, ray and skate populations. You can help by submitting photos of eggcases that you find on the beach. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/02/image-10.png) Here's a skate eggcase that my buddy Kerry Gordon found with her toddler Matilda at Cape Point I'm just leaning into my weirdly intense feelings about nature. I've been drawing lichens (CRAZY FACT about lichens: they're not a single organism, but actually a whole colony of different algaes and fungi working together - magical, right?!). I've started my own tiny collection of mollusk shells. I've been seriously debating buying a microscope. The other day, I discovered that you can boil red cabbage and then test pH levels with the liquid, so I've been running pointless science experiments in my kitchen for my own amusement. Yes, I'm *still in lockdown*, and maybe, like I judged my mother and her pet rock, I've just gone slightly mad. But heck, it's the [Winter of Weird](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-winter-of-weird/) and I'm just going with it. The world is bloody beautiful, and it's a joy to look at it. I'll leave you with some words by Rachel Carson: > I believe that the more clearly we can focus our attention on the wonders and realities of the universe around us, the less taste we shall have for their destruction. Tell me about your weird and marvellous nature collections, friends! Wishing you love, wonder and pet rocks, Sam --- ### Updates from Sam-Land - Ray Mahlaka from the *Daily Maverick* hosted me on a webinar about personal finance on Wednesday, and you can [watch the whole thing here.](https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/article/2021-02-10-managing-your-money-like-a-fcking-grown-up-in-the-time-of-covid-19/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - If you have a retirement fund, pension or other investments in South Africa, your money is probably being used to prop up fossil fuel companies. If you hate this, sign onto this open letter demanding SA's major asset managers offer fossil-fuel free alternatives: [fossilfreesa.org.za/our-campaigns-…](https://t.co/GXXGbkgA6f?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - Diiiiiiiid I mention that I finished a draft of my novel? Did I? ### I finished a draft of my novel wheeeeee! URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/draft-magpies/ Last updated: 2021-12-23T12:26:53.000Z Hello, grownups! **I AM A GODDESS WHO JUST FINISHED A WHOLE ENTIRE DRAFT OF MY NOVEL.** *Magpies* is 95,000 words of sheer genius so profound and heartbreaking that you shall WEEP when you read it. A mere glance at the prose will make you want to immediately quit your job and dedicate the rest of your life to only reading and re-reading *Magpies*, over and over again. Shrines shall be dedicated to its magnificence! Okay, not really. In truth, it's still very early-drafty, riddled with plot-holes and adverbs, but it feels like a little book-baby that I have birthed from my brain, and I'm as proud of it as any new mother. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/02/magpies-1.jpg) Writing a novel in a nutshell: caffeine, piles of research material, Scrivener, encouraging sticky notes. Not pictured: the absolute rollercoaster of emotions. So many of you sent me supportive messages, photos of your pets and playlists, and I am so grateful for every single one. It is a true bloody privilege to get to do your dream job, and I couldn't do it without all of you. Usual newsletter programming will resume later this week, but I just wanted to pop you a quick message with two housekeeping-ish things: --- ### 1\. Daily Maverick webinar tomorrow Whatcha doing tomorrow, **Wednesday at noon (SA time)**? Come hang out and chat with me & Ray Mahlaka about money stuff. [Sign up right here.](https://event.webinarjam.com/register/308/8v448uqx?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) It's totally free and Ray's a sweetheart. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/02/dm.jpg) --- ### 2\. The money dashboard: now in (actual) German Wonderful reader Marcel has translated the German version of the money dashboard (thank you, Marcel!). German buddies, I'm so sorry that you had to put up with the terribly janky old version which, yes, I must confess, was made with Google Translate. Ich hoffe ich kann dich bald wieder in Berlin besuchen! Here's the new link: [Das Geld-Dashboard auf Deutsch](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1aAsoDDi1MgC7TjjtZFN%5FG69oTLXIOUdwL7ZNSggUeAM/edit?usp=sharing&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) --- Mega smooches to all of you! I'll send you a proper newsletter soon. Sam ### Imagining the future is how we create it URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/imagining-the-future-is-how-we-create-it/ Last updated: 2021-02-09T15:40:13.000Z Hello, grownups! Recently, I got to contribute to an extremely cool thing: the Upshot anthology by RisCura, **a collection of short stories exploring how today’s investment decisions can impact the future.** It’s a dark and delicious collection of sci-fi tales by some of my favourite writers around, including Bongani Kona, Angela Makholwa, Charlie Human, Tade Thompson and Mohale Mashigo, all curated by the magnificent Lauren Beukes. RisCura is a purpose-driven global investment firm, and I'm bloody impressed that they initiated this project. There's a long history of science being inspired by science fiction ([Jules Verne inspired both the helicopter and the world's first successful open-water submarine; Arthur C. Clarke inspired the world wide web](https://www.bustle.com/p/11-real-life-inventions-inspired-by-science-fiction-novels-9090688?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), to name just two examples). But I'm more interested in the ways that fiction can help us to think through the **consequences** of technological change, as they intersect with things humans do. The stories in this collection all explore emerging financial trends, from the increasing costs of private education, to debt slavery, to robo-advisors, to the impact of longer lifespans on our ability to save for retirement. But every story takes a surprising twist! It's one thing to read about the theory of Universal Basic Income, but it's a richer experience to read the story of a hustler trying to find a way to exploit it, as in Tade Thompson's story '[Elegba's Valley](https://upshot.riscura.com/elegbas-valley/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)'. It's interesting to wonder what living longer will do to retirement savings, but way more fun to read [Angela Makholwa's hilarious tale](https://upshot.riscura.com/last-shot/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) of a man who outlives his savings and gambles everything on a preposterous scheme. Engaging with financial concepts through fiction not only helps us understand them better, but also expands our sense of what's possible. As Lauren Beukes says: > Fiction allows us to imagine the unimaginable, which seems especially pertinent in these unprecedented times. I wrote two stories for the anthology, "Undercurrency" and "According to Plan". **["Undercurrency"](https://upshot.riscura.com/undercurrency/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** is about the emerging ocean economy, and some of my anxieties around sustainable investing and [large-scale aquaculture](https://theconversation.com/how-farming-giant-seaweed-can-feed-fish-and-fix-the-climate-81761?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It's also a pretty raunchy love story about a woman who simultaneously falls in love with kelp forests and a hot scientist named Jorge. [**"According to Plan"**](https://upshot.riscura.com/according-to-plan/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is a bit sillier, and it's about what might happen if an AI controlled all of your investment decisions for you, but you kept changing your mind about what your goals were. [You can read all of the stories in the collection here](https://upshot.riscura.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). There are also lovely audiobook versions of some stories, including "Undercurrency". The audio version is truly lovely, featuring delicate sound mixing and a superb audio performance by Megan Loyd Roberts. I recommend the audio version over the written one! Here's the first part of Undercurrency as a little teaser for you. --- ## Undercurrency *For Charne Lavery* ****The sea is a deep grey today, a roiling mass of lead under the dawn sky.** She starts every morning like this: pauses on the boardwalk that runs through the centre of the compound down to the office, a full hour before anyone else is awake, and watches. The age-old instinct of all farmers: survey your territory. The problem with the bloody sea is that it doesn’t tell you much. She gets more from the hologram in the middle of their boardroom, a miniature, moving model of the entire crop, compiled in real time from over seventeen thousand sensors placed along the rig. She finds herself watching it for long minutes at a time, admiring the way the little drones comb across the kelp grid. They’re autonomous, checking each frond for discoloration, signs of nutrient disorder or pests, dragging the whole rig to the optimal level based on what the crop needs. She loves to see it like that. Her vision, assembled in blue pixels in front of her. And yet she still starts every day out here in the cold. Staring down the ocean like a challenge. It’s what brought her here, after all. Haunting her dreams since she was ten: that day her brothers had taken turns dunking her in the rough surf, until she’d started to cry, and Clint had said: “Better learn to swim, Olive Oyl. The oceans are rising and they’re going to drown everything … everything.” But Olivia Abrahams is nothing if not someone who can see the bigger picture. What she sees now isn’t the sea – but possibility. A perfect blank slate. She walks down to the main office building. The investors arrive next Friday for the site visit. There’s so much to do – decks to be finished, models to be tweaked, lab rooms to be tidied – and she needs to double-check the offsite accommodation in town, because these people are not exactly going to be comfortable in staff dorms. Everything depends on this. Five years of work, the last of her savings. They’re fast running out of runway. If she can’t close another round of funding, it will all have been for nothing. And there are still problems with the tech – the water drones use up almost as much fuel as they’re producing, dragging the kelp lines up and down. It’s a fight she was having yesterday with Kenny, her heavily bearded lead engineer: “We’ve spent three months on this. We’re running out of time.” He’d just blinked back at her. “I don’t know what to tell you, Olivia. I can’t change physics.” She’s working on being a less demanding boss. It’s not easy for her, but she’s trying. Once, when she was four, her daughter had said, with great gravity, “Mommy, if you are too strict, nobody will like you”. Truer words never spoken. She’s surprised to see that the lights are on already. And there are voices coming from her office. She speeds up. It’s Yoliswa, her head of security, standing over a man Olivia doesn’t recognise, barking questions at him. They’ve had poachers trying to dive in the bay before, looking for rock lobster or abalone. But as soon as they realise there’s a security team, the problem goes away. She’s not sure why Yoliswa would be bothering her with this. “Morning, Yoli,” she says, going with casual. “We found this man exploring the kelp lines,” the security woman says. “On the pilot rig?” Olivia is surprised. There are a number of small nursery rigs close to shore, laid neatly across their little bay. But the mature kelp elevator is a full eight kilometres offshore, the buoys barely visible from the observation deck. They’ve never found divers there. “He says he’s a scientist.” “Well, that’s a new one.” The man grins at her, his teeth bright against his face. Naughty-boy smile, the kind that seems permanently etched onto someone. The smile lines crease his whole face, and he’s so dark and sun-weathered, it’s impossible to tell how old he is. Under a thin blanket draped over his shoulders, he’s shirtless. Wiry as the nautical polyethylene ropes her crop grows from. “Malacologist, if we’re being pedantic,” he says. He’s got an accent she can’t place. “Excuse me?” “I study snails.” “That’s nice for you. Please could you explain what you’re doing on private property?” He laughs. “I didn’t know the ocean could be private property.” [*Read the rest of Undercurrency here.*](https://upshot.riscura.com/undercurrency/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Wishing you hot sex on a boat, Sam --- ### Updates from Sam-Land Okes, I have ceased to be a human person and am now merely a TOOL for converting caffeine into WORDS OF MY NOVEL. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/01/IMG_20210126_150352.jpg) I deliberately down-sampled this image so you don't zoom in and read my notes, you dorks Dale Halvorsen and I are so tantalisingly close to finishing this draft! It's basically all I can think about right now. Good grief friends, writing novels is really fucking hard. Please send help in the form of: 1. photos of your pets 2. Spotify playlists featuring songs without lyrics OR sea shanties 3. wholesome dad jokes I love you! Hope you're all staying safe out there! xx ### Hooray for 20 years of Wikipedia! URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/20-years-of-wikipedia/ Last updated: 2021-01-20T12:31:24.000Z I've enjoyed watching all the phases of lockdown hobbies over the past year. There were those months that everyone I know was baking sourdough, that time we were all growing seedlings on our windowsills, the month of Animal Crossing, banana-bread week, the ["is it cake?"](https://firstclasse.com.my/hyperrealistic-cakes-is-it-cake/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) obsession, the Among Us craze, and I am extremely enjoying this [sea shanty phase](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgsurPg9Ckw&ab%5Fchannel=TheKiffness&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) everyone's going through right now. Zadie Smith has a lovely essay about this in *[Intimations](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/53825991-intimations?ref=sambeckbessinger.com),* her lovely little book published during the first lockdown in 2020. > Why did you bake that banana bread? It was something to do. Why did you make a fort in your living room? Well, it's something to do. Why dress the dog as a cat? It's something to do, isn't it? Fills the time. Out of an expanse of time, you carve a little area – that nobody asked you to carve – and you do 'something'. Of course, one of the first things everyone does when they pick up a new hobby is enthusiastically evangelise it. So... HELLO EVERYONE CAN I TELL YOU HOW MUCH FUN IT IS TO EDIT WIKIPEDIA PAGES??? Wikipedia turns twenty years old this month, and most of us have will still be stuck in our houses for many months yet, so it's a great time to pick up this excellent new hobby! Wikipedia is one of the parts of the internet I love the most. I love getting lost down [Wikipedia rabbit holes](https://www.reddit.com/r/wikipedia/comments/fokmsp/stuck%5Fin%5Fquarantine%5Fheres%5Fa%5Flist%5Fof%5Fwikipedia/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). I love doing [wikiraces](https://www.thewikigame.com/group?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (a game where you try to navigate from one topic to another as quickly as possible). I love collecting unintentionally hilarious wikipedia pages – my favourite is the one on the [Australian Emu War](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emu%5FWar?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) where, for a while, the participants were listed as "Royal Australian Artillery vs. Emus". The entry on "[Human](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)" is also hilarious, as it was very obviously written by an alien who finds humans vaguely repulsive. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/01/image-5.png) I love the *concept* of Wikipedia. I love it because it's an attempt to organise everything humans know, and present it in a neutral way. What a laughably, foolishly ambitious goal! And I love it even more because there is no private company making a profit from doing this work. There is no single individual with the power to decide what is or is not allowed on the platform (unlike, say, Twitter). Wikipedia was founded by Jimmy Wales and Larry Singer, but neither of them control it. It's run by a nonprofit organisation called the Wikimedia foundation, but it's written and edited by hundreds of thousands of volunteers around the world, with no financial incentive. You can be one of them! > Imagine a world in which every single person on the planet is given free access to the sum of all human knowledge. That's what we're doing. - Jimmy Wales I love Wikipedia, despite the fact that it is deeply flawed. It is created by humans, so it reflects the biases of the humans who create it. There is nothing like fair or proportional representation on Wikipedia. Asia is represented in only 17% of edits, Africa 6%, and South America 3% [(source)](https://journal.media-culture.org.au/index.php/mcjournal/article/view/315?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It also has a real gender problem: between [86-90%](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Gender%5Fbias%5Fand%5Fediting%5Fon%5FWikipedia?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) of editors on Wikipedia self-identify as men, and only [18% of the biographies](https://wikimediafoundation.org/news/2018/10/18/wikipedia-mirror-world-gender-biases/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) in English Wikipedia are about women. Stephen Colbert [once pointed out](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Criticism%5Fof%5FWikipedia?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#cite%5Fnote-ColbertReport-64) that the Wikipedia entry on Lightsabers is longer than the entry on the printing press. The Talk pages, where editors discuss changes they want to make to an article, are often filled with as much prejudice and hostility as any other part of the internet. But this is a reason for **more of us** to get involved, especially those of us who come from underrepresented groups or places. Because the really beautiful thing about Wikipedia is that it's an endless work in progress. Wikipedia is like democracy: an imperfect system, but one that we have to keep strengthening, because it's the best that we have. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/01/Ancientlibraryalex.jpg) Artistic Rendering of the [Library of Alexandria](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Library%5Fof%5FAlexandria?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), based on archaeological evidence, one of the wonderful pieces of free media available on Wikimedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Library\_of\_Alexandria#/media/File:Ancientlibraryalex.jpg There have been many attempts to corral and organise all human knowledge over the course of human history. One of them was the Great Library of Alexandria, a collection of tens of thousands of scrolls, one of the great achievements of the classical world. Contrary to popular belief, it wasn't destroyed in a fire. Its demise was due to something far more familiar, and tragic: [a lack of funding and support](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Library%5Fof%5FAlexandria?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). There's a lesson here, that the past few years of disinformation and conspiracy theories have only made clearer: **we have to support the institutions that preserve knowledge, make it free, and protect its neutrality.** You can do that by[ giving money to the Wikimedia Foundation](https://wikimediafoundation.org/wikipedia20/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (consider it a birthday present). But I also hope that some of you will join me in my new hobby and committing some **time** to making it better (if you're lucky enough to have any time or emotional energy to spare, which I know is a privilege). I have found learning to edit Wiki pages endlessly valuable. It's taught me a lot about fact-checking, writing in the neutral point of view, and assessing the quality of a source. It's sent me on delightful quests to track down facts about topics that interest me. Heck, it's helped to fill the damn time in a way that feels useful for the world. More useful than the thirty hours I've spent this week learning sea shanties, anyway :) **If you're keen to give it a go, here's how to begin:** 1. Play the [Wiki Adventure](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:The%5FWikipedia%5FAdventure?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a tutorial that will teach you how to edit Wikipedia pages. It will take about an hour to complete. [This page](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Help:Wikipedia:%5FThe%5FMissing%5FManual/Editing,%5Fcreating,%5Fand%5Fmaintaining%5Farticles/Editing%5Ffor%5Fthe%5Ffirst%5Ftime?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is a useful guide to refer back to once you've completed the Adventure. 2. Make a simple edit first, to get the hang of it. [Here's a list of articles](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:All%5Farticles%5Fneeding%5Fcopy%5Fedit?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) that need simple spelling/grammar edits. Adding images to existing articles is another easy way to help. 3. Find a topic that you know a lot about, and get contributing! Everybody's a nerd about *something*. There are projects to encourage contributions in neglected categories, like the [Women in Red](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:WikiProject%5FWomen%5Fin%5FRed?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) project to increase the number of women's biographies or the [Wiki Loves Africa](https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Wiki%5FLoves%5FAfrica%5F2021?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) campaign trying to get more open-license photographs of modern African life. If you're at a loss, try contributing to a page about where you live. Music lovers, is your favourite band on the [list of South African musicians](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List%5Fof%5FSouth%5FAfrican%5Fmusicians?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)? English cheese fans, is your favourite cheese on the [list of English cheeses](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List%5Fof%5FEnglish%5Fcheeses?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)? Capetonian history dorks, the [History of Cape Town](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History%5Fof%5FCape%5FTown?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) page has almost NO info about Khoe-Khoe/pre-European history, and like two paragraphs on every single thing that happened during Apartheid. Join me, fellow nerds! It's hella fun! ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/01/wiki_gif.gif) Wishing you free time and emu facts, Sam --- ### Updates from Sam-Land - Speaking of facts, I'm currently OBSESSED with [this book about fungi](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52668915-entangled-life?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Merlin Sheldrake. Did you know that the split gill fungus has 23,000+ distinct sexes? Fungi!? - I just finished watching the limited series *[Normal People](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt9059760/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, which my partner kept referring to as "that eTV porn show you like". It is STEAMY and wonderful, an excellent adaptation of an excellent book. - Dale Halvorsen and I are still aiming to finish this draft of *Magpies* by the end of the month, so that's consuming 99% of my brain right now. Yes, I am trying to cram more facts about fungi into it. ### Planning for life as a post-covid digital nomad URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/digital-nomad/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:41:06.000Z Hello, grownups! *Shoooooo-weee* lots of you have been sending me money questions this week. Trying to get your finances in order for the new year, huh? I applaud your intentions; at least money is one tiny thing we can control in these TIMES OF CHAOS! I got this question from a reader recently who has been using this pandemic to do some thinking about her future, and asking about how to budget for life as a digital nomad in a post-Covid world. > This past year has really made me think about my priorities. I've realised that one of the things I really want to do with my life is travel more. I'm only in my late 20s, and my husband and I don't have pets or kids yet, and being stuck at home all year has made it feel really important that we go explore the world while we can. We're in the very lucky position where both of us will probably be able to work remotely even once the pandemic is over. Hubby's a freelancer, and my boss has said he'd agree to me working from home as a long-term thing (it's a pretty small company, and I've proven that I can be just as productive when I'm not in the office). Why would I keep working from my boring dining room table in Pretoria when I could rather work from a beach in Bali? Of course, we won't travel until it's safe to do so (probably only next year 😭) but I want to start saving up for it. Our goal is to spend a couple of years travelling and working remotely. How would I even go about budgeting or saving for something like this? Hubby and I are both South Africans, if that helps. Look, maybe it's just the fact that I've been stuck inside my house for the past 32,390 years, but this does seem like a very delicious post-Covid plan, so I've been thinking about this question a lot. You *are* very lucky that the digital nomad life is an option for you, and if this is something you want, you should go for it! (In the FUTURE, when it's safe for you, and you're not likely to be a plague carrier, obvs). Here's the good news: if you are smart about it, travelling the world can actually **save** you money, or at least, not cost you much more than your normal lifestyle costs at home. You will need to be flexible about where you go, though, **and you do need to bulk up your emergency fund.** I've never done the nomad thing long-term myself (it's tricky when you have a cat, unless that cat is [Nala](https://www.instagram.com/1bike1world/?hl=en&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)) but I have a few friends who have done this for many years, and never intend to stop. I'll be drawing mostly on their wisdom here. > [ View this post on Instagram ](https://www.instagram.com/p/CHvi44nnZ91/?utm%5Fsource=ig%5Fembed&utm%5Fcampaign=loading) > > [A post shared by 1bike1world (@1bike1world)](https://www.instagram.com/p/CHvi44nnZ91/?utm%5Fsource=ig%5Fembed&utm%5Fcampaign=loading) ### Figuring out a general monthly budget How much it will cost you to be in another country very much depends on what kind of experience you're after: if your travel fantasies involve champagne, yachts and five star hotels, that's obviously going to require a very different budget to backpacking around India. The good news is that this is the factor that you have the most control over: many nomads choose their destinations based on affordability, and the more you're happy to do this, the easier travel will be for you to afford. There are really good resources for researching the average cost of temporarily living in different countries. The most well known is probably [Nomadlist](https://nomadlist.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Nomadlist is a robust database about popular cities for remote workers, and it's full of useful information ranging from the average cost of living there, to how easy it is to find reliable wifi. It's a great starting point for your research. [John O'Nolan](https://twitter.com/johnonolan?lang=en&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), who is a total mensch and also the founder/CEO of Ghost (the blogging platform this website is built on), has been travelling the world for more than a decade now (Ghost has always been a 100% remote company). He says that a monthly lifestyle budget for a permanent nomad can start at around 1,000 USD a month (around R15k) if you're happy to do it on the cheap, and that you can be extremely comfortable at 2,000 - 3,000 USD a month. His big piece of advice is to only use AirBnb for the first 3-7 days after you arrive in a new place, but to find a longer-term rental by asking around once you're there, because the best value places aren't on the internet (especially in South-East Asia). [Find lots of other useful tips about the remote working life from John in this video.](https://youtu.be/0dxp5wIpBxk?t=1491&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) That's in line with my intel from Kristi and Bryce, husband and wife team who blog as Millennial Revolution (you might remember them from [the retirement episode of the "Like a Fucking Grownup" podcast](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/podcast/)). Kristi and Bryce retired in their early 30s. They initially budgeted 60k USD for every year of travelling, but actually found they were able to keep their costs at only 30k USD (around $2,500 a month), and that was splitting their time between expensive and cheap countries. They do a great [region-by-region budget breakdown here](https://www.millennial-revolution.com/freedom/how-much-does-it-cost-to-travel-the-world-for-1-year/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). They were surprised by how much cheaper travelling was when they could be flexible, and take their time finding special deals. As Kristi puts it: > Turns out traveling isn’t really expensive at all. It was only expensive when we were working because we had to package everything into a hectic 2-week vacation package. You can work remotely for short periods in many countries on simple 90-day tourist visas, and there are also a bunch of countries that offer special longer-term "digital nomad" visas to South Africans. [Here's a list to fuel your daydreams.](https://www.businessinsider.co.za/countries-that-offer-digital-nomad-visas-2020-10?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ### Cutting your expenses back home Now, if you're planning to go travelling for just a year or two, you might not be able to get your expenses back home down to zero. You want to try to get them *as low as you can*, of course, meaning all the obvious things like giving up or renting out your home etc. But there are some costs you will likely need to continue with: - Paying to store your stuff. This is surprisingly cheap. You can rent a small self-service storage locker in Cape Town for a few hundred bucks a month. - Paying to keep your medical aid active. Many medical aids allow you to take a "sabbatical" if you're going to be out of the country for a couple of years. You'll need to keep paying a nominal amount to avoid paying the late joiner penalty when you come back to the country. You should check if your medical aid has a policy like this. Depending on where you're going, you might also need to take out an [international medical plan](https://safetywing.com/nomad-insurance/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - You should keep your income protection policies active, but check that you'll still be covered if you're working overseas (PLEASE make sure you have some kind of income protection policy - they're one of the most important types of insurance there is). The best way to know what your lifestyle actually costs you right now is to track your spending with an app like [22seven](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/some-great-apps-and-tools-to-help-you-manage-your-money/). With any luck, you might be able to find a destination where your cost of living is *lower* than back home. ### Getting smart about taxes I find tax rules overwhelmingly confusing, and INTERNATIONAL tax rules even confusinger. But Dominik Skalet, senior risk and tax manager at Creative CFO (AKA my tax wizard) pointed out an *extremely* useful tax policy might make nomad life even more feasible than you might think: the **foreign remuneration exemption.** Here's the deal with the foreign remuneration exemption: if you stay and work outside of South Africa for more than 6 months in any 12 month period (there must also be an unbroken 2 months overseas period), you might get to pay your taxes partly at the rate of the **other country** rather than South Africa. *(This is just a South African thing, as far as I know. Readers from the UK and elsewhere, I have NO IDEA if you have similar policies, soz!)* Obviously, there are a bajillion disclaimers to this. The big ones are: - This only works if you are employed, so it applies to the letter-writer but not her husband. Your employer also has to be on board with the plan: they're the ones who will have to apply for the exemption on your PAYE taxes (the ones taken off your normal monthly salary). - It only applies if you earn less than R1,25-million (about 85k USD) during your time overseas. Here's a concrete example for you: let's say that you are employed and earn R100k a month (that's obviously a very champagne-and-yacht-level salary, but the tax savings are more dramatic the more you earn, so it's more fun to look at). For the first five months of the (tax) year you stay in South Africa, and pay an effective tax rate of 22%. Then you spend the next seven months in Mauritius, which has an overall effective tax rate of 15%. ### Scenario 1: spend 7 months in Mauritius | Months | Location | Income | Tax paid | Effective tax rate | | --------- | --------- | -------------- | ------------ | ------------------ | | Mar - Jul | SA | R500,000 | R110,000 | 22% | | Aug - Feb | Mauritius | R700,000 | R105,000 | 15% | | **Total** | | **R1,200,000** | **R215,000** | **18%** | You pay R215k tax that year overall. Now, compare that to what you would have paid if you'd just stayed home: ### Scenario 2: just stay in South Africa | Months | Location | Income | Tax paid | Effective tax rate | | --------- | -------- | ---------- | -------- | ------------------ | | Mar - Feb | SA | R1,200,000 | R390,000 | 33% | So, just by being in lovely Mauritius for 7 months, you end up with an extra **R175,000** to spend on Dhol Puri and diving lessons. All of this is 100% legal, by the way. And you're still paying taxes and contributing to roads and schools and other good things; you're just doing that in two different countries rather than one. Oh, and this is Mauritius: ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/01/image-4.png) Image by Michal Marek You could even go somewhere like Dubai, where the income tax rate is 0%, if you like shark-based water parks and giant malls. Some things to be aware of: - You'll likely have to register as a taxpayer in other country if you spend any significant amount of time there. - SARS will ask for supporting documentation (contracts, payslips, passport stamps, etc.) to prove that you actually worked outside of SA. - Do not stay somewhere else long enough to set up a "permanent home" there, or you risk breaking your tax residence in South Africa, which will mean having to pay exit taxes to SARS and might end up making life very tricky for your employer. There is some murkiness about how long is *too* long - but to be safe, if you're going to be in one place for longer than 6 months, talk to a tax advisor. - Freelancer hubby isn't going to save any money on taxes, sorry. He'll be paying the SA tax rate regardless of where he worked from, and will likely have to submit a tax return in both countries. This stuff is confusing as heck, but TL;DR if you qualify for the foreign remuneration exemption, you should talk to a tax wizard because tax benefits might entitle you to a bigger travel budget than you think. You can [book an appointment with Creative CFO here.](https://creativecfo.com/pages/tax-team?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Thanks, Dominik, for the hot tip! ### The "Oh Shit" fund There's one last thing you need to budget for, when planning for a life of travel: THE UNPLANNABLE! A long time ago, in the Before Times (i.e. like a year ago), my partner and I went to a music festival in Barcelona (an experience I rate at five stars out of five). We were cheapskates, so we booked a multi-leg flight to come home that included something like three different stopovers, and I was booked to do a talk the day after I got back home. Missing our first flight would have meant a horrific cascade of other missed flights that would have literally doubled the cost of our whole trip, and risked me not being home in time to do my talk. We left for the airport with plenty of time to spare, but because we cannot read Spanish and are idiots, we ended up getting on the wrong train. Instead of going to the airport, we somehow found ourselves on an express train that was going to a town that was an hour away from Barcelona. Without stopping. We eventually got out at the other town, frantic, only to discover that there were no express trains BACK to Barcelona, and our choices were either to 1\. take a bunch of slow trains back to the airport and *definitely* miss our flight or to 2\. spend a truly eye-watering amount of money on a 1.5-hour Uber back to the airport and *maybe* miss our flight. Because I have a chunky emergency fund, we were able to take a gamble on the Uber (an experience I rate at one star out of five), and made it onto our flight just as the gates were closing. Shit goes wrong when you travel. You're in a foreign country, without access to all of the normal social and financial resources you have back home. You need a bigger emergency fund than you think. Whatever you budget for when you work out the monthly cost of living in your new temporary home, add a chunk of cash for those times when things go wrong... because things WILL go wrong. Dear reader: things are totally nuts right now, and good on you for having used this time to reflect on what you want once things calm down on the world. It's important to have things to look forward to! I'm barely able to make plans beyond the next meal, right now 😂 (I'm going to make tacos, and I am HYPED). Wishing you daydreams of cocktails on a beach in Mauritius, Sam --- ### Bonus: two more quick money questions > What is the best or easiest way to buy shares? As a South African can I only buy shares on the JSE? No, as a South African you buy shares on stock markets all around the world: some of them are just easier to access than others. The easiest international stock market for South Africans to access is the US stock market. Personally, my favourite way to buy shares is using [EasyEquities](https://www.easyequities.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), because I find it's the easiest platform to use. You can open a US account or a South African account. Note that you can also buy global funds, that diversify your money all around the world, on the JSE. [There's a brief discussion about that here](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-does-compound-interest-apply-to-etfs/), and [here is a list of global funds](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/good-funds/) I like to kick off your research. > One thing that has struck me is the importance of fees. Even though you explain it in the book, I am still unsure of how to really understand the fee breakdowns. I have been trying to figure this out on my current retirement annuity (through \[Company X\]). Is it possible you could help me decode these so I can understand it better? The plan was suggested by my financial advisor (I opened it in 2018) but I would really like some help as I am worried the fees are too high. Sadly, the fact that you're struggling to find out what the fees are on your retirement annuity (RA) is not an accident. Funny story: when I was in my 20s, I had a financial advisor who just plain dodged this question every single time I asked him (which is why I eventually fired him). [You can read that whole saga here.](https://www.10x.co.za/blog/breaking-up-with-my-financial-advisor?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) So, ask your advisor. If you don't get a clear answer, ask Company X directly. They won't be able to give you a full answer, unfortunately, because the advisor is allowed to charge fees on top of company X's fees, so your advisor is the only person who can tell you what you're actually paying. If your advisor is not giving you a clear answer on those fees, that's a strong signal that you should dump them. If you find out the fees are, in fact, too high, you could consider switching your RA to something cheaper. Do some research into something like the Sygnia Skeleton 70 or 10X ([Stealthy Wealthy has a great roundup](https://www.stealthywealth.co.za/2020/10/the-ultimate-retirement-annuity-guide.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)). Both of them are super simple to open online by yourself. --- ### Updates from Sam-land - I am a WRITING BEAST at the moment, trying to finish this draft of *Magpies* by the end of the month (*Magpies* is the horror mystery novel I'm writing with Dale Halvorsen). It's still looking like an ambitious-but-maybe-just-achievable goal! - Other recent lovely things: Zadie Smith's essay collection *[Intimations](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/53825991-intimations?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=6OcXx9szIN&rank=13&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, the [Zombies, Run! Couch to 5K](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.sixtostart.zombies5ktraining&hl=en%5FGB&gl=US&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) running training app, weekly newsletter about the climate crisis [Heated](https://heated.world/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and the [Story Break Podcast](https://maximumfun.org/podcasts/story-break/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) where professional Hollywood writers come up with preposterous movie concepts (they're currently live-writing a standalone Jar Jar Binks movie, and it's hilarious). ### Man's Search for Meaning URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/mans-search-for-meaning/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:41:15.000Z Hello grownups! I missed you! I read a lot of books this holiday, and one of them HIT ME RIGHT IN THE SOUL, so I have to tell you all about it: *Man's Search for Meaning*, by Viktor Frankl. You might have read it already (millions of people have, and it's often listed as one of the most influential books of the 20th century), so please excuse me for being so late to the party ️☺️ Viktor Frankl was a Jewish psychiatrist and neurologist born in Vienna in 1905\. In 1942, just nine months after marrying his wife, Frankl and his family were sent to the Theresienstadt concentration camp, and then to Auschwitz and Dachau. His wife, mother, father and brother all died. Frankl himself endured three years of torture, starvation, disease and humiliation in the camps — as he described it, a "multitude of small torments" designed to break the will. The remarkable insight that he returned with was that even in the most horrific situation imaginable, some prisoners were able to maintain a sense of purpose, and that this made them more psychologically resilient. He quotes Nietzsche: "He who has a *why* to live can bear almost any *how*." There were three main routes to meaning that Frankl saw: 1. **Creative work and good deeds** ("an active life") 2. **Experiencing what is beautiful, whether nature, art or love** ("a passive life") 3. **Finding meaning in suffering.** **Creative work** was a core motivator for Frankl throughout his time in the camps. On entry, the prisoners were forced to hand over all of their possessions, down to underwear and wedding rings. Frankl had managed to make it all the way to Auschwitz still carrying a roll of paper in the inner pocket of his coat: a manuscript for a scientific book he'd been writing. He tried to sneak it through, begging an old prisoner for his help. "I must keep this manuscript at all costs; it contains my life's work. Do you understand that?" he said. The other prisoner grinned and said one word back to him. "Shit." For part of the time, Frankl was put to work digging and laying train tracks. He was aching, freezing and starving, but he would occupy his mind in trying to reconstruct the whole manuscript in his mind. After a few months, he managed to get hold of a few scraps of paper, and wrote down cramped keywords in shorthand. This work helped him to stave off delirium and hopelessness. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/01/image-2.png) Viktor Frankl in 1924 **Appreciating the beauty** in his life also took on spiritual meaning for him. He describes this most movingly when talking about his wife. On long marches through the snow, he would start imagining her face, and having long conversations with her in his mind. "I understood how a man who has nothing left in the world may still know bliss, be it only for a brief moment, in the contemplations of his beloved." He had no idea if she was alive or dead (in truth, she'd already been killed), but "there was no need for me to know; nothing could touch the strength of my love." Frankl describes many moments like this, of surprising joy and laughter amongst the camps. Of dying prisoners being overwhelmed by the beauty of trees and of men singing opera over the watery soup that was barely keeping them alive. So there is meaning in both creation and enjoyment, he says. But most profoundly, he also says that **there can still be meaning in a life where both of those possibilities are taken from you.** > We may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed. For what then matters is to bear witness to the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one's predicament into a human achievement. When we are no longer able to change a situation – just think of an incurable disease such as inoperable cancer – we are challenged to change ourselves. He doesn't just mean this in an abstract, hand-wavy way. He describes concrete experiences, both in the camps and in his clinical work, of people who were able to find some purpose in their suffering. One was a man who suffered from severe depression after his wife died, who he'd loved dearly. He began to heal after he considered how terrible it would have been if *he'd* died first, and his wife would have had to suffer grieving *him* instead. "In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning , such as the meaning of a sacrifice." Crucially, all of these forms of meaning are totally personal. There's no single, universal answer to the "what is the meaning of life" question (sorry, [Douglas Adams](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/42%5F%28number%29?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#The%5FHitchhiker's%5FGuide%5Fto%5Fthe%5FGalaxy)). Rather, each of us have to respond to the circumstances of our own lives, and the unique potentials that we alone can realise. > We had to learn ourselves and, furthermore, we had to teach the despairing men, that *it did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us.* We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life – daily and hourly. *Man's Search for Meaning* is the manuscript that Frankl lost, and then reconstructed on scraps of paper in the camps. Once he was freed, he was able to dictate the whole thing in just nine days to some assistants, because it was already perfectly written in his mind. It was his way of making meaning of what he'd been through, of having turned his tragedy into something that does good outside of himself. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/01/image-3.png) The Auschwitz-Birkenau gatehouse. These tracks lead directly to the gas chambers. What I appreciate about Frankl's view is that he's not saying that people suffer because they deserve to, or implying that suffering is some noble thing that we should seek out (in fact, he is very careful to say that *choosing* to suffer isn't nobility, but masochism). He is very clear about the fact that surviving the Holocaust wasn't just about having a chipper attitude. In fact, there's a pretty dark bit where he says that the ones who made it usually had to lose their scruples in the fight for survival. "We who have come back, by the aid of many lucky chances or miracles... we know: the best of us did not return." This is no *The Secret* 🤮 that promises that you can change your life by changing your mindset. In fact, it's a meditation on the opposite: how you can change your mindset in times when you have no control over your circumstances. And how much that matters. > Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. It's a magnificent book, and it felt like the right time to read it. We've all come through a bloody tough year, buds. I have friends who are healthcare workers who are just *exhausted to the bones*, and friends who have been doing organisation work amongst communities where people are starving. Right now, so many of the people I love are sick, or are grieving, or are anxious. I know that many of you reading this probably are too. And I wish that I could wrap every single one of you in a deep, long hug (I'd wear PPE!). Now look, AM I EQUATING COVID WITH AUSCHWITZ? Absolutely not, JEEZ! What prisoners went through in the Holocaust/Shoah are far beyond anything that most of us will ever experience, or can even imagine. But Frankl's insights do seem pretty damn applicable to times when the universe takes all of your goals and tears them up, CACKLING WILDLY. Times when you can't really make plans, or see the people that you love, or do the things that bring you joy. Times when you're whittled down to the core, and you have to find a way through, regardless. Anyway. It's a wonderful book, and you should read it. Wishing you sunsets, long-distance hugs, and the blissful contemplation of someone that you love, Sam *Note: the cover artwork is a painting by Lev Haas called "Transport Arrival: Theresienstadt Ghetto" from 1942, usually on display at Yad Vashem.* --- ### Updates from Sam-land I'm back in lockdown (seemingly foreverrrrrrrrrrr) but my little December holiday was so full of joy and meaning. Christmas makes wayyyyyy more sense in the northern hemisphere, and 99% of my household surfaces are now covered in twinkly lights. I did lots of wholesome crafting activities (I even got into FELTING, which is basically just poking a ball of yarn repeatedly with a long needle, and it's therapeutic as heck), had long Zoom calls with friends, watched all 11 HOURS of the Lord of the Rings extended edition, read dozens of books (special mention to *[Deeplight](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/44647479-deeplight?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* by Francis Hardinge), watched movies (*[His House](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8508734/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* on Netflix is terrifying and magnificent), had dance parties in my kitchen (thanks, [King Princess](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd3ucTRSzlJYkANVcg73Dcw?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)), got slightly less sucky at playing the ukulele (sorry, neighbours), and went for a lot of walks. I'm feeling tentatively optimistic for 2021! ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/01/image-1.png) The river Cam. Not kak. ### Why care work is systematically underpaid URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/pay-care-workers-more/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T10:23:22.000Z My favourite thing about writing the [teen money book](https://shop.likeafuckinggrownup.com/product/manage-your-money-like-a-grownup/?v=79cba1185463&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) earlier this year was trying to answer the actual questions that teens asked me about money. Because I tell ya, some of the questions that seem simplest, turn out to be friggen DEEP. One question that was asked over and over again was: **why do some jobs get paid more than other jobs?** Which is one of those questions that it's really hard to answer without going on a really long rant about labour market segmentation, collective bargaining, and the history of slavery. But how do you explain all of that to 11-year olds, in 1 page? ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/12/chuckles.gif) The simplistic answer I ended up giving was: - It's a little bit about supply versus demand: how many employers want to hire people with those skills versus how many people have those skills - It's a little bit about how hard it is to gain the skills you need to do that job - It's a little bit about how much bargaining power people doing that job have (monopoly industries usually get away with paying less because there's less competition over labour; unions help workers negotiate better deals etc.) - It's a little bit about public regulation (e.g. laws around minimum wage and how easy or hard it is to fire somebody) - It's a little bit about how much value\* that job produces (\*value here defined in a pretty limited way, as in, how much an employer can sell the product of that labour for, or the "productivity" of that labour) But even taken all together, these factors don't fully explain why some jobs get paid more than others. **Discrimination** is also a factor, as well as cultural ideas about what kind of work **is valuable** and what kind of work isn't. And all of that is shaped by history. Economies weren't invented yesterday by a computer designed to maximise human flourishing; they're the outcome of all the ways that humans have interacted with each other over tens of thousands of years. One of the most powerful things that intersects with wages is deeply rooted cultural ideas about the value of women’s work and men’s work. A lot of the most essentialwork that is done in society is mostly done for free, and mostly done by women: **care work**. This is [still true today](https://www.theguardian.com/inequality/2018/feb/17/dirty-secret-why-housework-gender-gap?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), even though more women also participate in the paid labour force. This is an enormous amount of free labour that benefits society as a whole. Imagine if every elderly person was housed in a public old age home and the work of caring for them was done by paid employees, funded by taxes. Our taxes would be much higher! (One of my favourite policy ideas is that people who do care work in their own homes should at least be able to offset the value of that labour against their income tax bill.) This creates a specific problem for people who do care work for pay:they're systematically paid too little. Because think about it, they're competing against **free labour.** It's hard to compete with free. If you zoom out of society and look at the gap in income between men and women, it's about a lot of different things: women spend less time in the workforce because of the years worth of unpaid work they do at home, unconscious bias means that women are less likely to be seen as competent and promoted or get pay increases (like, in South Africa, [**73%** of the country's teachers are women, but only **37%** of the school principles are](https://www.ozy.com/around-the-world/can-south-africa-teach-us-a-lesson-in-fixing-educational-gender-gaps/94058/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)), and sometimes, active discrimination makes workplaces so hostile to women so they drop out of those jobs. But it's also because the **types of jobs that women are more likely to do are paid less.** Recently, New Zealand passed a powerful new law aimed to address **pay discrimination** against female-dominated *professions*, which I'm kak excited about. Unlike rules about "equal pay for equal work", which is about ensuring that different people doing *the same job* aren't paid differently because of their identity (which is also still a problem), this is a law about making sure that **women-dominated jobs** aren't paid less than **men-dominated jobs** that are otherwise similar. [This piece by Anna Louie Sussman in the *New York Times*](https://www.nytimes.com/2020/11/13/opinion/sunday/women-pay-gender-gap.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) describes it well: > Instead of “equal pay for equal work,” supporters of pay equity call for “equal pay for work of equal value,” or “comparable worth.” They ask us to consider whether a female-dominated occupation such as **nursing home aid**e, for instance, is really so different from a male-dominated one, such as **corrections officer**, when both are physically exhausting, emotionally demanding, and stressful — and if not, why is the nursing home aide paid so much less? In the words of New Zealand’s law, the pay scale for women should be “determined by reference to what men would be paid to do the same work abstracting from skills, responsibility, conditions and degrees of effort.” The law was sparked by a case where a caregiver in a home for the aged successfully argued that her profession was underpaid relative to equivalent men-dominated public jobs (elder care in New Zealand is paid for by the government). The case resulted in a review of similar jobs in the public sector that resulted in 15-49% pay increases for more than 55,000 workers, and this new law is going to result in wider salary reviews, looking at jobs like midwives, social workers and school support staff. Men reading this, I really do believe that pay equity would have huge benefits for you too. Because care work professions are undervalued (in status as well as pay) and are seen as feminine, few men do them, and this can have other negative consequences for society. Take **mental health**, for example. Men have much higher rates of suicide, homelessness and substance abuse than women, and yet [less than 25% of social workers](https://www.theguardian.com/social-care-network/2014/jul/25/why-so-few-male-social-workers?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) are men. If we valued care work more and destigmatized men who do this work, more men might get better care. If 2020 has taught us anything, it must surely be that jeez, **care work is so friggen valuable**, and that the people doing these jobs deserve so much more money and respect than they get. There's been so much talk this year about how nurses and teachers and public sector doctors are heroes. I hate this! They only have to be "heroes" because we make their jobs so hard, and we really don't have to do this. We could just make them **well-paid professionals with good working conditions and a goddamn work-life balance**. That's a choice that we can make as a society, and I really hope that we do. **If you agree, here are three practical things you can do:** - If you employ a domestic worker, carer or nanny, make sure you are being a good employer. Register for UIF and make the contributions you're legally required to. Consider taking out [life and disability insurance](https://www.simply.co.za/packages/domestic-cover/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for them (Simply has a policy that extends to foreigners working in South Africa). Check that you're paying them a [living wage](https://living-wage.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), because it's total bullshit that the minimum wage for domestic workers is lower than other types of workers. - Be careful that you talk with respect about people who do care work, "feminized" jobs, or work in the home caring for children or other family members. Understand that the fact that we treat engineering as though it's very difficult and important, and care work as though it's inessential and frivolous, is loaded with sexism. The number on your paycheque has **very little to do with the actual value of the work you do.** - If you work for a business, and you have the power to, advocate for fair policies like longer paternity leave and pay equity. Wishing you lots of tough questions from 11-year olds, Sam --- ### Updates from Sam-Land As I write this, it's snowing outside my window, and it is *magical*. - This is the last newsletter of the year, because I am pretty exhausted, friends, and looking forward to taking a bit of a break. I love you to bits, and I'll see you in January! xx - I had a really fun chat with my buddy [Nic Haralambous](https://nicharalambous.com/blog/sam-beckbessinger?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) on his podcast. We chatted about curiosity, and weaponizing your insecurities. - I've mostly been working on the climate change game. It's neeeearly done. You'll see it early next year, promise! - I've been doing lots of [WEIRD](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-winter-of-weird/) activities to keep my brain amused. These have included: opening books at random and making nonsense poems from the first sentences I read, reading descriptions of animals I've never seen before and trying to draw them from my imagination, and reading tarot cards without looking up the meanings. These activities have been pretty fun, but I'm also just really missing seeing friends and doing NORMAL ACTIVITIES in a non-pandemic, to be honest! xx S ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/12/image-1.png) Very silly poem I made out of random sentences in books. The lines "'Nice turtle', the little one said / It glided down to the water and rested there" I find extremely delightful. ### Some resources for you! URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/some-resources-for-you/ Last updated: 2026-07-22T14:13:36.000Z Hello, grownups! Happy Friday, loves :) I've written two new money resources for you this week, but they won't be relevant to all of you right now, so rather than clog up your inbox with them I'm just going to send you the links to read them if you want to. ## Super-awesome resource #1: a guide to getting out of debt Hey, did you know that I was suffocating under a mountain of debt when I was in my mid-20s? In fact, it's the awful experience that inspired me to figure out how the heck money works in the first place. I've put together a list of everything I know about getting out of debt into [**a debt-busting action plan for you**](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/get-out-of-debt/)**.** I hope it helps 💪🏾 ## Super-awesome resource #2: a list of radtastic global funds in the UK UK readers, I've been neglecting you! The South Africans had [**this list of radtastic investment and savings funds**](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/good-funds/), but I was leaving you to find good low-fee passive funds all on your very own! I'm so sorry! You now have [**your own list right here.**](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/radtastic-investment-funds-and-savings-accounts-uk/)If you think I'm missing anything, please let me know. ### Other things going on in Sam-Land: - Current obsession: the art of Else Bostelmann who painted the deep ocean creatures William Beebe discovered in the 1930s (in this crazy spherical cast-iron submarine called the Bathysphere). She also once tied a canvas and oil palettes to lead weights and lowered them into the ocean, and did a painting UNDER THE WATER. [Here's a good article about her.](https://www.lennyletter.com/story/scales-too-large-dorsal-rays-too-few?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - *Magpies* draft 2 is coming along! We're 35,000 words in and looking to have this draft done by March 2021\. - I've also been working on the climate change choose-your-own adventure game. I've roped in other fave writers to contribute little pieces towards it (fake news stories from the future) and so far it's been a blast. We're aiming to launch this early next year. - Just started reading [*The Wych Elm*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/46007673-the-witch-elm?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Tana French. Haven't decided whether I like it yet. - I have been thoroughly obsessed with [**Phoebe Bridgers' album *Punishers***](https://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/phoebe-bridgers-punisher/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*.* ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/11/image-14.png) A painting Else Bostelmann's did UNDER THE GODDAMN OCEAN ### How to break out of a debt spiral URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/get-out-of-debt/ Last updated: 2026-08-26T13:10:38.000Z ****In brief:** If you're looking for a good debt counsellor, try [DebtBusters](https://www.debtbusters.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or [Foster](https://foster.co.za/debt-relief.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Friends, I want to show you something. See this photo of this adorable 24-year-old idiot drinking cheap sangria at a cafe in the south of Spain? ![picture of Sam in a cafe drinking sangria](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/11/image-13.png) Well, she might have a smile on her face, but she has a secret. She's drowning in debt. Over R200k worth of debt, in fact, which she has no idea how she's ever going to pay off. When she's not taking holidays in Spain, paid for by credit card (which is part of the reason she's in debt, obviously), she's being harassed by debt collectors. She even tried changing her phone number to avoid their calls, but they tracked her down, sneaky debt collectors! Despite the smile in this photo, she's suffering from the kind of depression that makes it hard to get out of bed sometimes. And worse, she is deeply, deeply ashamed. Far too ashamed to ever talk to anyone about what she's going through, or ask for help. This sweet little 24-year old idiot was me. And going through that dark time is the reason I'm now so passionate about talking to young people about money. I got into a debt spiral for the most obvious reason: I was living beyond my means. I was *terrified* of money and felt like I didn't understand it, so I just effectively avoided my debt problem for years and hoped it would go away. Spoiler alert: it didn't! Things only got better when I got honest with myself and decided to face things. I could only do that when I stopped ***moralising*** my debt, and seeing it as this terrible crime that I had done that was going to haunt me forever, and took pity on poor silly little past me who didn't know any better. **Debt isn't a moral failing**; it's an outcome of our crappy economic system. And you really do have more options than "struggle in silence until things get worse and worse and you can't buy food any more". The fact that you're here, reading this, makes me so proud of you. I don't think you're a fuckup, and I don't think you're doomed to be stuck in debt forever. Far more people are struggling with debt than you realise, they're just not talking about it because they're ashamed, too. Shame doesn't help anybody. Fuck the shame! Instead, let's **make a plan.** ## What is a debt spiral? A debt spiral is when your debt repayments get so high that you can't afford your monthly living expenses, so you have to borrow even more money to make it through the month. It's an an ever-worsening spiral of borrowing money to cover your living costs. I'm talking here about **high-interest consumer debt**, stuff like credit cards, payday loans, personal loans, store cards etc. It often ends up including outstanding bills for stuff like medical expenses, school fees or home loan repayments. What I'm not talking about here is having a large **secured** debt in the form of a home loan or business loan, or something like that. Secured debt tends to come at much lower interest rates, and doesn't spiral out of control in the way that lifestyle debt does. To explain how debt spirals happen, let's turn to our old friends: the snorgles. Snorgles are the very adorable little creatures that live in your house and eat up all your money (apples, in this analogy). Each snorgle needs to eat one apple every day, or they'll die. You don't want your snorgles to die! You love those hungry little bastards. So you very diligently go out and pick apples every day to feed them. If you've got extra apples, you keep them to one side in case you have an apple shortfall sometime in the future. ![A person throwing apples at small creatures called snorgles](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/11/image-19.png) But here's the problem: most of us never have enough extra apples to save. We can usually only juuuuust get enough apples to feed our snorgles. It might feel like things are going okay! You're making it through the month! Everything's fine! *(Cue ominous background music...)* Inevitably, something goes wrong. You lose your job, and you suddenly have no apples coming in. Or one of your snorgles gets stung by a bee and the vet bills are FRIGHTENING. So you have a shortfall: you need more apples than you have saved. And you can't let your snorgles *just die*, so you have no choice but to go and borrow apples. So you go to your creepy neighbour Murta, and ask if you can borrow some of her apples. She loans you some apples, and says you have to pay them back later. That's the simple "I.O.U." part. That's not the problem. The problem is that **Murta is not your friend** (remember this), so for the privilege of loaning you apples, she says you also have to adopt her gross pet the Interest Monster, and feed it too. For as long as you have the outstanding debt, you have to feed the Interest Monster. ![a person borrowing apples from their neighbour and having to adopt their interest monster in return](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/11/image-20.png) At first, things still seem really good! In fact, having this new line of credit might feel ***great***. It's relieved the stress of having to go and pick all the apples you need every day. Maybe you figure you can even afford to adopt a few extra snorgles. Upgrade one of them to a fancier snorgle breed. And Murta's there the whole time, egging you on, telling you that the debt's ***totally fine***, encouraging you to borrow even more, in fact. You have to pick some extra apples every day to feed the Interest Monster, sure. But he's not so big, and he doesn't eat so much, so it doesn't feel like an issue. But here's the thing about Interest Monsters: **they grow.** And the bigger they get, the more apples they need to eat. And you can still only pick the same amount of apples every day, so now you have a shortage. The Interest Monster is eating so many of the apples that you don't have enough to feed your snorgles. ![the interest monster has grown and now the snorgles don't have enough to eat](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/11/image-21.png) So now what do you do? **You borrow more**. See the problem? In the real world, people usually get into a debt spiral through a series of small decisions, none of which seem so bad in the moment. But there comes a point where on payday, [60-70% of their income](https://businesstech.co.za/news/business/405119/heres-how-much-of-your-income-goes-to-servicing-debt-each-month-in-south-africa/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) goes directly to servicing their debt, leaving them with a paltry 40-30% of their income to live on. And usually, people aren't getting into debt to go on holidays or buy luxury snorgles - [they're getting into debt to buy food and pay for basics](https://www.news24.com/citypress/business/south-africans-are-getting-poorer-and-using-debt-to-live-20200216?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). In South Africa specifically, people mostly get into debt simply because they can't earn enough money. And usually, the interest rates on this kind of borrowing is very high, meaning that Interest Monsters grow very quickly. Once you're in a debt spiral, it is very difficult to get out of it just by Bucking Up and Being Responsible! and any of the other simplistic nonsense that people who have not been in a debt spiral will tell you to do. Here's what you can do instead: 1. Build a **DIY debt plan** that involves negotiating with your creditors to try to slow down the Interest Monster's growth, and finding extra money to accelerate your debt repayments. 2. Enter a formal **debt relief** process and work with a debt specialist to restructure, pay down or forgive your debts. There are different options in different countries. Both approaches start with the same first step - **getting honest about your debt**. ## Step 1: Getting Honest Step one is the least complicated, and the most difficult emotionally: gather up the information about *all* of your debts, and put them in one place. For each debt, you need to know: - Who do I owe this debt to? - What is the interest rate? To find this out, you might need to call your creditor (the person you owe money to) or check a recent statement. - How much do you owe? - What is the minimum monthly payment? If you're not sure, just use the average of whatever you paid over the past 3 months. There's a spreadsheet you can use for this. I've created a version in [SA Rands](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1BmCmb8Fo%5FQjeWQ00ipaoiRlFhvxVvkx9DYk8%5FgKS6A0/copy?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and one in [GB Pounds](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1%5F4W6x180d3VwmVFuc6T9OAjVXvHp-6XWqTkKvZsRIF4/copy?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Those links will prompt you to create your own copy of the spreadsheet, which you can edit privately. If you enter in your debts at the top, it will show you when you'll pay down these existing debts at the current rate you're paying them down. Don't be scared when you see this! This is just how things are looking right now, **before** you start trying to accelerate this. ![a screenshot of the debt dashboard](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/11/image-22.png) Just a note: make sure that you are actually responsible for all of these debts. You can't inherit debt from someone, for instance (although you do share your common-law spouse's debts). If you have an old debt that you haven't made payment to for a few years, [check whether it has expired (prescribed)](https://www.legalwise.co.za/help-yourself/quicklaw-guides/prescription?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#:~:text=South%20Africa%20has%20different%20laws,circumstances%2C%20be%20delayed%20or%20interrupted.). You also need to **put together a budget** showing where your money is actually going every month. I know, I know, I'm the same person who's always saying [budgets don't work](https://medium.com/phantom-design/budgeting-doesnt-work-and-isn-t-real-so-just-spend-all-your-money-right-now-b722cd265cd1?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). This budget isn't really for you, though. It's a simplified version you're going to send to your creditors or debt counsellor if they ask for it (which they likely will at some point). It's important that this budget is **as accurate as you can make it**. The best way to get an accurate number is to actually [track your spending with an app](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/some-great-apps-and-tools-to-help-you-manage-your-money/), or to export your bank statements and go through them in detail. One more thing you might want to do is [**get your credit report**](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/find-your-credit-score/). You're allowed one free one every year. This might remind you of debts you've forgotten about, and will let you know if you're behind on any payments. I know these steps suck, buddy. This is a good time to remind yourself that you are not a terrible garbage person, and it's all going to be okay. ![ghost hug! you can't feel it but it's there](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/11/image-23.png) ## Step 2: Put the brakes on You're stuck in a hole. You need to figure out what to do to get out of the hole. But there's something you have to do first: **stop digging.** So, stop taking on more debt. To do that, I'm going to encourage you to do something that seems totally crazy and counter-intuitive: set up an automatic payment that goes into a savings account every month. I know, mad right?! You're already struggling to make it through the month without turning to debt, and here I am suggesting that you somehow find even MORE money in your budget and put it in a savings account. But here's why I think you should prioritise saving even when you have high-interest debt: because not having emergency savings is why you took the debt out in the first place. Emergencies happen. Geysers burst and cars break down. If you don’t have an emergency fund, then the only thing you can do is just go back into debt. And you don't want that. When you stop using debt, it helps if it's a clean break. So, if you don't have an emergency savings account, go open one. Set up an automatic transfer into it every day on payday. Right now, your goal is 1 month's expenses. In time, you want to build that up, but just aim for a small amount until you've cleared your highest interest debts. I also want you to **fetch all of your credit cards and store cards,** take them out of your wallet, and hide them somewhere safe in your house. They're not gone; they're just not easily accessible. *Side-note: you want to close most of your lines of credit once they're paid off, but you should keep your oldest credit card open forever if you can. Having an "old" line of credit will help in the future when you're rebuilding your credit score.* ## Step 3: Decide what to do Now that you have the facts in front of you, in black and white, you need to decide whether you're going tackle this yourself, or enter a formal debt relief process. There are pros and cons to each approach. In South Africa, the most common formal option is **debt counselling/debt review.** **Pros of debt counselling** - Can help you to protect assets like your house or car. - Can get mean debt collectors off your back and protect you from legal action by creditors. - Simplifies your debt repayments: you'll just pay one repayment rather than dozens, and this should be a manageable repayment amount. - You're not in this alone - you'll get help and advice. - It's less work than negotiating with your creditors yourself. - After completing the process, you get a debt clearance certificate which will remove the "debt counselling flag" from your credit history (usually, you can apply for new debt, maybe to apply for a home loan or something, immediately after completing the debt counselling process). **Cons of debt counselling** - It's inflexible - it can be hard to withdraw from the process if your situation changes. - You won't be able to access new credit during the process (this can be a pro for some people). - It can cost you more overall (but won't necessarily, and it also could save you money). - There are a lot of charlatans in this space, so you have to be careful and find someone reputable. - Not everybody qualifies (for instance, you have to have a stable income). - It won't protect you if there's already legal action against you. As a general rule of thumb, if you've already trimmed your spending to the bone and you're still not coping because of your debts (as in, you can't make it to the end of the month without borrowing), then go for debt counselling. If you feel like there's probably still room for you to earn more, or just be a bit more disciplined with your spending, you might want to try handling it on your own first. But you should do your own research and go with your own gut on this. **If you decide to go the formal route,** contact a reputable debt company and start the process. You'll have all the information you'll need in the spreadsheet you put together: good on you! PLEASE be careful and use a reputable business, because you do hear horror stories. In South Africa, the only companies I've personally heard recommendations of are [Debt Busters](https://www.debtbusters.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Foster](https://foster.co.za/debt-relief.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). You can also look at the annual [Debt Review Awards winners.](https://debtreviewawards.co.za/top-10-debt-counsellors-2025/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) In the UK, there are a few different options ranging from getting a **debt management plan** to **a debt relief order**. Your best bet is to contact a debt charity like the [National Debtline](https://www.nationaldebtline.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or [Stepchange](https://www.stepchange.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Here's a debt story from one of our readers, who very kindly agreed to share their debt review story with all of you (thank you, lovely reader)! *I became over indebted for a few reasons – I had an unstable income, about half of it came from commission which fluctuated from month to month, and I was definitely living beyond my means (however, in retrospect I don’t think it would have been possible to live fully within my means on that one income) and it felt like the bank I was with, FNB, was always trying to give me credit. I remember those few years as being very chaotic and stressful, with credit cards, personal loans and payday loans (from FNB, Wonga, Boodle). I was also travelling internationally a lot for work, and while the main costs were paid for, there were a lot of costs I had no business paying too. Also not sure how I used to find the money to go out to bars a few times a week as well?* *I can’t remember exactly why I decided to go with debt review, but I think the final catalyst was that I was probably broke, and had applied for a Wonga or a Boodle and been declined. I think up until then, I was just playing catch up, and it had all caught up with me. I probably just Googled and Debt Busters was the one that came up. The process was super easy: I sent an online enquiry and they called me back. They did it all over the phone, and were able to see most of my debts on their system, which was great, because I was in extreme denial about what I owed. It was probably only about R90k but I was drowning in the different payments. They calculated what I could afford to pay each month, and then worked out a 5 year repayment plan. I think they got most of my interest down to zero, and one loan was at 0.9%. It halved my monthly payment, and more important, it meant that I could not access any new credit.* *About a year later I got a new, higher paying job and a while later I increased my payment and I finished the process after four years.* *It was a sacrifice for sure. There were many occasions over the 4 years when I could have used access to credit, like when a previous employer just randomly withheld my last month’s salary or when I moved to another city on a whim. But, I survived. I don’t have wealthy parents to bail me out, but I am lucky that I could rely on them in an emergency as well as some very supportive friends. At the end of the day though, I’m still here and it wasn’t THAT bad.* *The best part is the feeling of being in control of my finances. It was just always so chaotic before and extremely stressful. A lot of my money anxiety and fear is gone. I would swipe away those bank SMSes and almost never open my banking app. I also changed banks to Capitec at the time (recommended by Debt Busters, as creditors will still try to pull your old debit orders even if you are under debt review) and I am SUPER happy with them. They never try to get me to take out a credit card!* *I found Debt Busters to be empathetic, super helpful and reachable throughout the process.* *I got my clearance certificate in October last year, and I was on holiday in Japan at the time the email came through, which I was able to pay for without any credit so it was a really great feeling.* *I have accessed some credit since then without any problem – I know people often have trouble with this after being on debt review. And it really does depend on who does it for you. I have heard nightmare stories of terrible debt counsellors, but I was one of the lucky ones I guess.* *All in all it was such a positive process, and it feels so good to get my salary and have it all be mine.* ## The DIY route **Step 3a - negotiate with your creditors** The first thing you want to do is to try to negotiate with your creditors. I know, when you're overwhelmed with debt, your creditors are the LAST people you want to talk to. But honestly, your best chance is to approach them politely and proactively as soon as you have a problem, **before you start missing payments**, ideally. Explain your situation, and ask how they can help you. It's in their own best interests to get *some* money from you rather than no money, so they are incentivised to help you! [Here is a rough script you can use](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1AWozvf31R0qRgVFEVBv-xGf4Ga6cmTeTOcxJUxCVfKo/edit?usp=sharing&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) when calling your creditors to ask for help. Potential solutions you can discuss with them: - Would you be willing to reduce the interest rates on my loans? - Would you be willing to give me an interest-free payment holiday until my temporary situation changes? - Would you be willing to write off a portion of the debt in exchange for a partial payment? It's helpful, when assessing your options, to remember the general rule about Interest Monsters: the longer it takes you to pay back a debt, the more interest you pay overall. Your creditors might offer to restructure your debts by letting you pay a lower monthly payment and extending your debt over a longer period. Avoid doing this if you possibly can. Here's an example. Imagine you have a **R10,000 loan** at 20% interest. - Pay off R500 a month for 23 months = you pay R12,018 in total. - Pay off R800 a month for 12 months = you pay R11,099 in total. - Pull money out of your home loan (10% interest) to pay it off over 10 years = you pay R13,442 in total. Another option you can consider is applying for a consolidation loan, where you bundle all your debts into one debt that hopefully has a lower interest rate. It's worth getting a couple of quotes for this. Plug in the details of your consolidation loan offer into the spreadsheet and check whether you'll end up paying more overall than sticking to your current loans. Do not cash out your retirement savings to pay down consumer debt. But if you have extra savings (beyond your emergency fund) you should consider putting it towards your debts. **Step 3b - free up extra cash** If you're drowning in debt and you're serious about getting out of it, it's time to sit with your budget and ruthlessly cut back anything you can live without (i.e. cull some snorgles). This is all the boring, tedious work of getting competitive insurance quotes, downgrading your car and other such glamorous steps, but every cent matters. There are a bunch of money-saving ideas [in the book](https://shop.likeafuckinggrownup.com/?v=79cba1185463&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). My advice is to start with the big 3: where you live, how you get around, and the food you eat. You also need to give some thought to your income. Can you ask for a raise? Can you start a new side hustle? Here's another wonderful reader who agreed to share their story. They went the DIY route. *So I have managed to (almost) pull myself out of some fairly large debt (although it's apparently small compared to other stories I hear), and I've done this during the lockdown in which I got a 50% pay cut! Here's how I'm doing it.* *Before Covid (BC) I was just scraping through on my salary, and my credit card was maxed out, so every month I'd make the minimum payment into the card, and then spend it in the course of that month... well, what was left after the hefty interest charge came off!* *Then in May we were given the bad news that we were getting 50% salary cuts. I went into full emergency mode and organised payment holidays on my car and bond - 2 of my 3 biggest expenses every month, the other one was medical aid who weren't offering payment holidays the bastards!* *I then luckily managed to get some freelance work on Saturdays which paid enough to cover the salary shortfall. But with the payment holidays in place I was actually coming out with more money each month than in my normal BC life. And I put every extra Rand into the credit card every month... and in 5 months I've paid off half of my R40k credit card debt, while actually living decently and eating sushi as often as I want. Have to reward my 6-day work week somehow right?* *So ja, for me there was no easy way out - had to give up half my weekend, but I have to say it's been worth it.* **Step 3c - stick to it** Something really magical happens when you start paying down debt. Once you've paid off your first debt, the repayments you were making on that debt are suddenly freed up, so you can put them towards the next debt, and pay them off faster than you thought (that's what the spreadsheet will show you). Your debt repayments become like a snowball picking up more and more momentum, until they are UNSTOPPABLE. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/11/image-24.png) If you're drowning in debt, try to pay down the smallest debts first (the "snowball method") - this will give you an early psychological win. There's something SO DAMN SATISFYING about clearing a debt, closing that account, cutting up that damn card, and being a little more free than you were yesterday. *(Sidenote: you usually have to actively CLOSE an account once you've paid it off, by calling them - they don't close most paid off debts automatically. Sidenote on the sidenote: remember not to close your oldest credit card account because it helps your credit history.)* ## Good luck out there 💪🏾 Phew, what a post! There is a wonderful side-effect of having been in a debt spiral, and have broken yourself out of it: you've learned how to live without a chunk of your income every month. I think reformed debt-spirallers sometimes end up being better savers in the end, and more likely to ultimately work towards financial freedom. I am so proud of you for making it here, and I wish you all the damn luck in the world. CONQUER! --- ### Your questions about debt review *Update 15 April 2021: after publishing this piece, I received a couple more questions about debt review. I reached out to Benay Sager, the head of DebtBusters, for his expert responses.* **If one applies for debt review does it not affect your chances of getting a new job of ones prospective employer does a credit check?** *The short answer is, it should not affect one’s ability to get a job. The long answer is, it is a matter of decision or consideration for the prospective employer.* *If a consumer is under debt review, there will be an indicator on the credit bureau stating that. As a result, a credit check would indicate the consumer is under debt review.* *In the past eight years that I have been involved with DebtBusters, we helped thousands of consumers. I can recall only two or three instances where consumers were told by prospective employers that “due to the nature of the work they were being interviewed for, they would not hire someone who is under debt review” – the few instances were in the financial services industry for jobs that required the individual to handle money or deal with financial matters. An employer is of course free to make such a choice (based on the nature of the work), however the consumer cannot be automatically denied employment just because they are under debt review.* *In my view, consumers who choose debt review should – if anything - be rewarded: one would argue that a consumer who has voluntarily recognized and taken steps to improve their financial situation should be applauded instead of being prejudiced against.* **If under review and I get a lump sum of cash am I allowed to pay it off quicker without the “interest”?** *Definitely. This happens quite regularly, and consumers are encouraged to contribute more if they can. A great debt counsellor should negotiate interest rates down for the consumer in any case, so any extra contribution will help repay the outstanding capital amount.* **Can one rent a new flat or will the agent also do a credit check and not approve?** *The answer to this question is similar to the employment one. For a consumer who is under debt review, a credit check would return the result that a consumer is under debt review. If the agent and/or owner decide to not rent the property to the consumer as a result of the credit check, that is purely their decision. With that said, the consumer who is up to date with their payments can ask for a reference letter from the debt counsellor indicating they are under debt review and are making debt repayments regularly. We have issued such letters in the past and find them to be very helpful.* ### Radtastic investment funds and savings accounts (UK) URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/radtastic-investment-funds-and-savings-accounts-uk/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T10:24:12.000Z *Chuffed to see you here, mate! This is the UK version of this page.* [*Saffers, this is the one you want.*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/good-funds/) Friends, there are a lot of different accounts and funds out there, and I’m not listing every single one of them here. These are just some of the funds that I’ve personally scouted out as potential candidates for my own portfolio. **I like to choose things that:** - Have the **lowest possible costs** (look for the “total expense ratio” or “total investment cost”) - this almost always means passive index investing. You should read chapter 7 of the book for the full debate on active vs. passive funds and make up your own mind about this. - Are with **reputable, legit companies** that won’t vanish with my money. - Are friendly for people who like to **handle their investments themselves, online** because, come on, it’s the 21st century. Of course, you need to choose the right type of fund, with the right asset allocation, for your time period, which will tell you what your risk appetite should be. The basic rule for this is that the sooner you want to spend that chunk of money, the lower the risk rating you’re looking for. New funds come out all the time! And I’m also not a wizard, so I might have missed some really great options. If you’ve found a fund that you think is hella-mega-cool, let me know about it so that we can keep building this list together. *Last updated: 20 November 2020* *Heyyyyyyy… remember how I’m not a professional, qualified financial adviser? Just reminding you of that fact. Do your own homework before you put your money in something and* [*talk to an actual financial adviser*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/etc/get-some-advice.html) *if you need to. Kthnxbai.* ## Looking for a savings account for your emergency fund or table flip fund? No point re-inventing the wheel! MoneySavingExpert has a great [list of options](https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/savings/savings-accounts-best-interest/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for you. ## Looking for a global equity index fund/ETF for your freedom fund? These are all simple, low-cost global funds that form a great foundation for most long-term investment portfolios. With one simple product, you can diversify your money all around the world. | Provider | Fund name | Link | Ongoing Fund Charge | ISIN/Symbol | | -------- | -------------------------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | ------------------- | ------------ | | HSBC | FTSE All-World Index Fund C Accumulation | [Fund link](https://markets.ft.com/data/funds/tearsheet/summary?s=gb00bmjjjf91:gbx&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | 0.13% | GB00BMJJJF91 | | HSBC | FTSE All-World Index Fund C Income | [Fund link](https://markets.ft.com/data/funds/tearsheet/summary?s=GB00BMJJJG09:GBX&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | 0.13% | GB00BMJJJG09 | | Vanguard | FTSE All-World Income | [Fund link](https://markets.ft.com/data/etfs/tearsheet/summary?s=VWRL:LSE:GBP&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | 0.22% | VWRL | | Vanguard | FTSE All-World Accumulation | [Fund link](https://markets.ft.com/data/etfs/tearsheet/summary?s=VWRP:LSE:GBP&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | 0.22% | VWRP | | Fidelity | Fidelity Allocator World Fund W Accumulation | [Fund link](https://markets.ft.com/data/etfs/tearsheet/summary?s=VWRP:LSE:GBP&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | 0.25% | GB00B9777B62 | **Income** funds pay you dividends (usually annually), while **accumulation** funds reinvest the dividends for you automatically. **Accumulation** funds are usually a better idea for lazy sods like me. Looking for an ESG fund (one that prioritises environmental, social and governance factors)? Try the [Vanguard ESG All Cap Equity Index Fund](https://markets.ft.com/data/funds/tearsheet/summary?s=GB00BLLZQL34:GBP&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (0.2%, developed world only) or the [L&G Future World Fund](https://markets.ft.com/data/funds/tearsheet/summary?s=GB00BF41GZ01:GBX&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (0.23%). [Vanguard's Lifestrategy](https://www.vanguardinvestor.co.uk/investing-explained/what-are-lifestrategy-funds?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) funds are another good option for smart, lazy investors. They give you pre-mixed funds with different ratios of shares and bonds. The Lifestrategy 100 (100% shares) has ongoing charges of 0.22%. The [iShares MSCI World](https://markets.ft.com/data/etfs/tearsheet/summary?s=IWDA:LSE:USD&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) funds (0.2%) are another popular option, but they exclude emerging markets so aren't as "world" as they say they are ;) Looking for low-cost index funds for different asset classes, like bonds? [Monevator](https://monevator.com/low-cost-index-trackers/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) has a good list. ### The Winter of Weird URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-winter-of-weird/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:41:34.000Z Hello, grownups! I have been having some EXQUISITELY STRANGE dreams recently. The other night, for instance, I dreamt I was on a road trip and came across a town that had been overrun by the KKK, and all the children in the town had become ghosts because they didn't want to live in a world so ugly, but if you stood in a field at night and read stories to them their little ghost bodies would huddle around you like moths (this was during the week I was super stressed about the U.S. election; read into that WHAT YOU WILL). Last night I dreamt about being in a place that looked like the Drakensberg but was full of these things: ![drawing of a birdlike dream creature](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/11/image-8.png) they were friendly, but also enormous, the size of mountains I've always remembered my dreams, but they've been even more vivid and intense (and often weeeeeeird) this year than ever before. And I think it's because of the lockdown. Like there's some kind of direct correlation between the sameyness of my days and the bizarreness of my dreams. Like my brain is starving for novel experiences, so it's just inventing them. My buddy Sam send me an article from the *New Scientist* recently that could be a good explanation for this (no, I haven't gone completely mad, this is another Sam, AKA "Sam with a beard"). It describes a theory about why we dream that's called the Overfitted Brain Hypothesis. Overfitting is an idea from machine learning. When you train a machine learning algorithm, you give it a set of data to learn from, and you try to teach it how to identify a pattern that it can then apply to new data. Overfitting happens when the algorithm gets too fixated on the specific information you gave it to learn from, so it's no good at dealing with new information. It's the machine equivalent of rote-learning something rather than understanding it. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/11/image-9.png) Here's a visual example. You would want a machine learning algorithm to be able to "see"the general pattern (i.e. the black line) so that it could predict whether new dots are blue or red based on where they are. If overfitting happens, the algorithm "sees" the green line instead. Overfitting is like if you tried to learn spelling by memorizing the spelling of every single word one by one, rather than by understanding the general rules and trying to guess at the spelling of words you've never heard before. Guessing based on rules wouldn't always get it 100% right because English spelling is CHAOS, I TELL YOU (I even [wrote an episode of a cartoon show](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvKESS7yfAw&ab%5Fchannel=TeamJaybyJuventus&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about this), but it would be a heck of a lot faster than learning every word individually! We haven't really learned something until we can deal with examples we've never seen before. Like here, look at this bizarro animal quick: ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/11/image-7.png) This is a lowland-streaked tenrec from Madagascar. What a cute little weirdo! Like a hedgehog going to a costume party dressed like a bee. Now, you've never seen this adorable idiot before (unless any Malagasy mammalogists are reading this, IDK), but you can probably figure out somestuff about it by looking at it. You can identify its ears, eyes, nose, little hands. You can tell that its long snoot is probably for snarffling around amongst leaves and dirt. And you could probably guess from it's prickles that it's not a good idea to pick it up and give it a cuddle. Congratulations! Your brain has just proved it is a pretty good machine learning algorithm for figuring out how mammals work (it helps that you are one). In machine learning, one of the ways you can prevent overfitting is by injecting "noise" into the training data. Throwing in some total curveballs. As [Robby Berman](https://bigthink.com/mind-brain/overfitting-brain-hypothesis?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) put it: > To keep machine learning from becoming too fixated on the specific data points in the set being analyzed, programmers may introduce extra, unrelated data as noise or corrupted inputs that are less self-similar than the real data being analyzed. > This noise typically has nothing to do with the project at hand. It's there, metaphorically speaking, to "distract" and even confuse the algorithm, forcing it to step back a bit to a vantage point at which patterns in the data may be more readily perceived and not drawn from the specific details within the data set. The Overfitted Brain Hypothesis is that **this is what dreams are**: they're "corrupted inputs" to prevent our brains from becoming too rigid. The things we see and experience in our day-to-day lives are too similar for us to learn from, so the brain invents new data for our mind's "training data set". If we dreamed only to reinforce memories, it would surely be more useful for our minds to just replay our actual experiences in our dreams, instead of concocting a bizarre narrative about being chased by a chocolate snake around your Primary School or whatever. Instead, the Overfitted Brain Hypothesis suggests that dreams aren't about memory, but about **learning.** They help us to continue learning things even when we're in a rut. The whole *New Scientist* [article is here](https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg24833073-600-how-the-strangeness-of-our-dreams-reveals-their-true-purpose/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and it's a hoot, but unfortunately it's behind a paywall. Having moved countries in the middle of a pandemic means that my world has been very small this year. That's often been a gift and a joy. It's been small enough for me to notice things I would never have noticed. The unfurling of a new leaf on my tomato plant, day by day. How the plumage of the teenage swans in the river near my house are turning from mottled grey to white. The weird yoga positions my cat gets into when he cleans himself. The beautiful way the afternoon sun paints the wall in my bedroom. But clearly my brain's been telling me that it is BORED with these peaceful observations. It needs some spontaneity, some chaos! So, I'm declaring the next few months my **Winter of Weird**. I started setting themes for my seasons at the start of this year, after watching this magnificent video by CGP Grey about why he stopped making New Year's Resolutions, and started giving each year a theme instead. It's so great. Give it a watch. I've tried a lot of different productivity systems over the years. I am a goddam *connoisseur* of productivity systems. Setting up new productivity systems is my favourite way to procrastinate, in fact. Some of them stick - I've been following some version of the *[Getting Things Done](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Getting%5FThings%5FDone?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* (GTD) approach for over a decade now. GTD is basically about **never keeping your to-do list in your brain**: building a system that lets you collect anything you want to do in an inbox (anything from vague "maybe I should take up pottery..." to a "crap, that article was due yesterday"), and regularly processing that inbox, turning those things into clear, prioritised, actionable to-do lists. GTD is the perfect system for anal type-As who love lists, i.e. it's Sam Crack, but it has it's limitations. It's very good at helping you make progress towards actionable productive-y goals, but useless at more holistic health/attitude/mindset-type intentions. Things that aren't about achieving specific, pre-defined things, but are rather about habits, the small decisions we make day-to-day that end up defining who we are. The virtues we cultivate. As Grey points out, the other problem with setting goals is that we usually fail to reach them, and that makes us feel shitty and de-motivated. **Themes**, unlike goals, are gentler. They're *broad*, so that they can be re-defined as your situation changes. They help you change in a *direction*, but they don't specify an *outcome*. Over the years, [people have tried themes](https://www.reddit.com/r/CGPGrey/comments/ei5i4c/cortex%5F95%5Fyearly%5Fthemes%5F2020/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) like The Year of Poise, The Year of Home, Learning, Attention, Joy, Structure, Reading, Gratitude, Music, Growth, Health, and Simplicity. I've been trying them all year, and lovingthem. I've been doing "Seasons of..." rather than whole years, because that just felt right for me. I started with the **Winter of Small Joys**, which was all about making time for tiny things that make me happy like candles and walks and long baths. I did a **Spring of Germination**, which was a bit *obvious,* fine, but was about gently nurturing new ideas and new projects and not giving up on them too soon, and was also a time I was growing a LOT of vegetables. I did a **Summer of Excavation**, where I challenged myself to just write a draft of my novel even though I didn't know what "shape" it had yet. And now I'm finishing my **Autumn of Movement**, which has been all about being in my body, walking and running and cycling and stretching and dancing, and also about *moving on* emotionally from some stuff I needed to let go of. In my **Winter of Weird**, I am challenging myself to inject some STRANGE back into my life. I think this will mean a lot of creative challenges (like [StoryCubes](https://www.storycubes.com/en/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Oblique Strategies](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oblique%5FStrategies?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)), learning stuff outside of my usual areas of interest (signing up for the oddest [UCT Summer School](http://www.summerschool.uct.ac.za/summer%5Fschool?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) courses I can find, playing [WikiRoulette](http://wikiroulette.co/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)), maybe even trying out some induced hallucination techniques like [Ganzfeld goggles](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ganzfeld%5Feffect?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Who knows! But it's going to get odd up in here. I'm PSYCHED. ![William Burroughs and Brion Gyson](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/11/image-10.png) Brion Gyson and William Burroughs used to induce sober hallucinations through flickering lights created by this gizmo called the Dreammachine. These themes have given so much shape and purpose to this year, for me. I highly recommend giving it a try! There's just one month left until 2021: why not test-drive a "micro-theme" between now and then, and see if you like it? Wishing you pleasant dreams, Sam --- ### Updates from Sam-Land - I've spent the week in workshops talking about climate change with scientists and sci-fi writers for the choose-your-own adventure story I'm making with [SESYNC](https://www.sesync.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). I am too brain-fried today to tell you all the bizarro stuff I learned but it was fascinating. My biggest takeaway was that we need to stop talking about how "we're all going to die" because of climate change. There's almost no chance that all humans will die over the coming century, but a HIGH chance that many millions will die. Somehow, that's much worse. It's also something we have to *face*. Climate nihilism ("ah, what's the point, we're all just going to die lol") is as unhelpful as climate denial, just another way to avoid the urgency and importance of what we have to do. I will write more about this soon, once I have digested it all! - I'm about halfway through writing you all postcards - they'll be in the mail on their way to you soon :) - There are a whole bunch new goodies up in the [Store](https://shop.likeafuckinggrownup.com/?v=79cba1185463&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), including sticker packs and book-merch combos. We've got kid-friendly and non-kid friendly versions! ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/11/image-11.png) And finally, let me leave you with an obligatory Digby photo: ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/11/image-12.png) Look at his little toofie! I DIE. ### Macrame plant hangers are the key to happiness and I refuse to believe otherwise URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/macrame-plant-hangers-are-the-key-to-happiness-and-i-refuse-to-believe-otherwise/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:41:43.000Z Hello, grownups! The other day, I stumbled on this video of a PechaKucha talk I did in the long-ago time of June 2019 that seemed especially relevant to my life right now. There’s this little plague going around, so I’ve been extremely stuck in my house recently. This has led to a lot of staring at all the things in my house wondering why I own them. And this quick 7-minute talk is about exactly that: how we buy things in the hope that they’ll fill the gaps in our heart, and how usually they fail to do that. It’s especially funny watching this sixteen months later. Sixteen-months-ago-me was totally lusting after macrame plant hangers (which, if you remember, were all the rage back in ol' 2019). Current me is convinced that what I really need in my life is a [£120 velvet bodysuit](https://www.allsaints.com/women/tops-and-shirts/allsaints-daphne-velvet-bodysu/?colour=5&category=490&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (even thought I've basically worn nothing but leggings and t-shirts for the past 6 months). The talk is extremely silly, only seven minutes long, and it might even make you giggle. Enjoy! **Some links for more reading:** - Jan-Emmanuel de Neve and Nattavudh Powdthavee 's research on [how income inequality makes whole countries less happy](https://hbr.org/2016/01/income-inequality-makes-whole-countries-less-happy?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) in the Harvard Business Review. - I quote Victor Lebow saying “Our enormously productive economy demands that we make consumption our way of life, that we convert the buying and use of goods into rituals, that we seek our spiritual satisfactions, our ego satisfactions, in consumption…” The whole extract is worth reading, you can [find it here.](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FCVgSyZs2iB-nb9kIWnZVyB7R97ocBaM%5FmuWPfS9z9Q/edit?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - A [livestream of the lightbulb](http://www.centennialbulb.org/photos.htm?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) that has been burning since 1901\. Here's a [fascinating rabbit hole](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phoebus%5Fcartel?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about the Phoebus cartel and the planned obsolescence of lightbulbs. - A more important rabbit hole - [here's a good article](https://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2018/oct/12/phone-misery-children-congo-cobalt-mines-drc?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to start reading about how upgrading your smartphone every two years is connected to child labour and death in the DRC. - Some more [totally wild facts about Louis XIV](https://www.discoverwalks.com/blog/top-10-fun-facts-about-louis-xiv/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (who I'm low-key obsessed with). And if you want to IGNORE MY ADVICE and learn more about his anal fistula, well, [here you go](https://tidsskriftet.no/2016/08/sun-kings-anal-fistula?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Wishing you velvet bodysuits and the absence of fistulas, Sam --- ### Updates from Sam-Land - I'm putting together a piece about **what to do when you're overwhelmed by debt**, and how to figure out if you should apply for debt review, get a debt consolidation loan, or just use the Snowball method to pay your debts down yourself. Were any of you in a deep, dark debt-hole you managed to climb out of? How did you do it? Have any of you used debt counsellors, who did you use, and would you recommend them? Any other tips for people trying to put together a debt plan of their own? I'd love to hear your debt stories, buds! - *Lost Toy,* the wordless Book Dash book I wrote with Amy Slatem and Natalie Pierre-Eugene for little-littles, is now [available for free download here](https://bookdash.org/books/lost-toy/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - Two kind readers wrote back after last week's newsletter suggesting two alternative mental health apps: [Woeboet](https://woebothealth.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is a completely free counselling chatbot, and [Shine](https://www.theshineapp.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is a meditation app that seems like a GREAT alternative to Headspace. Their review: > I can also recommend Shine as a meditation app alternative to Head Space (which I found very repetitive eventually). I swopped earlier this year after a year with Head Space. It was founded by two POC \[people of colour\] women and is (imo) much more situated in the context of the real world - like, today's started with "We acknowledge the anxiety of the recent election results process" etc. > > They also have a much greater community element, in the app and in a Facebook group which I really enjoy. Their membership rates are also cheaper, and they often donate proceeds to BIPOC \[Black, indigenous and people of colour\] mental health charities etc. - I've never lived in a place that has SEASONS before, and I am LOSING MY SHIT at how absolutely wonderful Autumn is. The leaves have all turned red and orange and yellow and pink! They CRONCH when you stomp on them! The air is crisp but in a nice nose-tingly way! It feels acceptable to live off a 100% soup diet! There are all these strange new delicious vegetables to try like celeriac (brain root) and samphire (mermaid lettuce) and parsnip (hesitant carrot)! The whole world has turned adorable and I am HERE FOR IT. - Thanks for all your tips for things to watch/read/listen to during my lockdown, buds! I'm currently reading *[Axiom's End](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/51171377-axiom-s-end?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* by Lindsay Ellis, one of my fave YouTubers (and fellow musical-theatre dork), and HOLY STINKING SOCKRABBITS it's so good. It's super pacy, but still full of big ideas, and it's making me feel nostalgic about the early 2000s, which is a feeling I never expected to have. Stay cosy! S ### Zen and the art of doomscrolling URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/zen-and-the-art-of-doomscrolling/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:41:56.000Z You! Yes, you! Stop reading this, and take 10 deep breaths. Yes, right now! ![an animated gif that helps you to breathe slowly in and out](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/11/breathe.gif) PHEW. Feels a little better, doesn't it? Yeah, so I've been thinking a lot about how to counteract anxiety this week (WHY? OH NO REASON.). Anxiety is fascinating, because it proves just how effective your brain is at being a virtual reality machine. Worry is your brain's way of rehearsing for bad things. "But what if there's a fire?!" says your brain. And then you start problem-solving this potential bad thing. You think about where you store your important papers, and try to imagine wrestling your stupid cat into his cat-carrier whilst simultaneously wrapping a wet bandana around your face, and ask yourself whether you'd grab your laptop or your ukulele. You worry because *some* worry is helpful. It means that you can pre-empt some bad things and make plans for how to solve them before you have to. But the problem is, your brain is SO GOOD at imagining these bad things that have not actually happened, that your body gets confused. Your body doesn't understand that these bad things are just imaginary. Your brain thinks, "what if fire..." but your body just hears "FIRE!" and responds by preparing itself to RUN FROM FIRE. ![A dog dressed like a taco. "U thot I was taco but I am doggo. Bamboozled again."](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/11/image.png) Sorry body! Bamboozled again! But of course, you don't actually go running, because the fire is still imaginary. So you just get more and more wound up, and that makes you more likely to think of all the OTHER bad things that might happen, because your body's yelling EMERGENCY so your brain is going to think EMERGENCY, and it's all a TERRIBLE EMERGENCY CYCLE of stress until you die from hypertension at 35 (but are secretly glad about it because at least dead people are not STRESSED). A little bit of worry is healthy. Too much worry makes it impossible to get anything done, and ironically, makes you less good at solving problems. I grew up with somebody who had a severe generalised anxiety disorder that manifested as bouts of agoraphobia (fear of public places). Something like going to the shops became impossible, because before we could leave for the shops we had to rehearse and talk through every possible thing that might go wrong. What if there was no parking near the shops? What if something bad happened when we were there and we couldn't get out in time? We'd spend so long planning for every possible awful eventuality that most of the time we just gave up and never went. That's an extreme case, but ALL of us have times when our worry spins out of control, and becomes unhelpful, and we can't focus on anything except – EHEM –refreshing the news and googling the nuances of the electoral system in Nevada. So, how do you break this sneaky worry cycle? One of the most-studied techniques for addressing stress and anxiety is the practice of **mindfulness**. Mindfulness basically means shutting down the "virtual reality" programme in your brain by bringing your attention back to the present reality around you, and inside you. There are a bunch of different ways you can do this, but most of them are about using your senses to ground you in reality, *showing* your brain that nothing is actually on fire, right now. The goal is to becoming aware of what's going on in your mind, and in the world around you, moment by moment, without judging any of those impressions or sensations or allowing them to be a springboard into a whole fantasy sequence (good or bad). Mindfulness doesn’t have to mean sitting cross-legged and making your mind completely blank until you reach enlightenment, either. You can use almost any of your senses as part of a mindfulness practice. You can focus on breathing. You can just stop and *look at something* carefully (my favourite way to practice mindfulness is by drawing something). You can stretch. You can close your eyes and try to become aware of every sound you can hear. It doesn't have to be very difficult, **you just have to actually do it.** When you meditate, your brain will pipe up and start trying to tell you about potential fires, or remind you to buy washing up liquid, or rehearse what would happen if you lost your job. The goal isn't to stop those thoughts, it's to notice them, but then to let them go. Your job is to refuse to be drawn into the whole virtual reality sequence your brain wants to conjure up for you, and keep returning to what's actually happening now. Zen Buddhists ("Zen" just means "meditation") call this **cultivating a beginner's mind**. When you look at a tree, you want to get into a whole dialogue with yourself about whether it’s a beech tree or a hornbeam, or think about invasive beetle species, or wonder if you should be taking up a class in woodworking, or remember that you saw a tree just like it a few weeks ago. A beginner's mind just sees the damn tree. ![A painting of two gibbons](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/11/monkey-Xuande-Emperor.jpg) Zen Buddhists also talk about "locking up the monkey mind" (painting by Xuande Emperor/宣德帝) And hey, CAPTAIN SKEPTICAL, this isn't just hippy-dippy-frou-frou nonsense, I promise! There's a mountain of compelling evidence justifying the effectiveness of mindfulness practices at reducing stress. Mindfulness isn't going to cure your cancer, but it might well help to [lower your blood pressure](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3303565/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [sleep better](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4407465/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and [protect your brain](https://www.mindful.org/meditation-protects-aging-brain/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) from cognitive decline as you age. The most noticeable changes are for SOME people with depression or anxiety disorders. We're learning more all the time about some of the truly wild brain-changes in long-term meditators, from [shrinking amygdalas](https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2018/04/harvard-researchers-study-how-mindfulness-may-change-the-brain-in-depressed-patients/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to an increase in gamma waves. It's pretty wild. Practicing meditation is something you can spend your whole life doing (indeed, doing so forms the heart of several ancient religious practices). But getting started is really easy, and simple. Hey, you've already meditated TODAY, by stopping to take 10 deep breaths! If you need some help chilling out a bit right now, or are interested in learning more about mindfulness, I'm a huge fan of the app [Headspace](https://www.headspace.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It was originally recommended to me by my psychologist, it's [science-based](https://www.headspace.com/science?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and free to get started with (about £10/month after that). If you hate sitting still and would rather stretch while you relax, I'm also loving the yoga app [Down Dog](https://www.downdogapp.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which also gives you a 1 month free trial. If you want to try drawing as meditation, Becky Haysom's [Foundations of Observational Drawing](https://www.instagram.com/drawingwithmindfulness/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) online course is magnificent. Or heck, you could just go sit outside and look at the sky for a bit, which is free. But hey, if things are very dark in your brain, don't muck around: [get professional help](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-to-manage-depression-like-a-grownup/), k? Wishing you an end to this stressful bloody week, Your friend Sam. --- ### Updates from Sam-Land ![Stickers on bank cards](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/11/image-1.png) - Want some stickers for your bank cards, to help you remember which one's for your fuckaround money and which one's for proper adulting? Well friends, TODAY'S YOUR DAY. There are also kid-friendly versions. Thanks to my favourite pencil-witch Nanna Venter for doing the designs. [Buy them here](https://shop.likeafuckinggrownup.com/?v=79cba1185463&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - Have you come across any good online courses that your teenagers have enjoyed, recently? I'm [compiling a list of resources](https://manageyourmoneylikeagrownup.com/resources.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to help teens learn skills for side hustles, and I'd love your suggestions for what to add to it. - Speaking of teens, I recorded the webinar I did with CNA about basic money management for young people. You can [watch the whole thing here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50w97hMiD6g&t=8s&ab%5Fchannel=CNAAfrica&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - I'm back in lockdown, and I'm BOOOOORED, so please send me tips for good things to watch/listen to/play! Oh, and book-lovers, I got a great suggestion from one of our readers, Mandisa, about how you can rent ebooks for free from libraries in Gauteng: > I've finally bought myself a Kindle! It's been lovely to read without Whatsapp messages overlaying and distracting, or being able to read without even just the threat of such. I also found that the Gauteng Provincial Library has an[ Overdrive account](https://gauteng.overdrive.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), so once I get my Overdrive account and person authenticated by them (been waiting for a week), I should be able to borrow ebooks to my heart's content! I'm very excited about this, because I had no idea that our national libraries offered something so futuristic. ### Is it safe to invest in a new ETF? URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/is-it-safe-to-invest-in-a-new-etf/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T10:25:08.000Z Hello, grownups! This is a beautiful world, filled with puppies and mountains and salt & vinegar Pringles, but sadly, it's ALSO full of dodgy bastards who are plotting to steal your money. We all have to be on our toes, and make sure we're keeping our hard-earned savings safe from fraudsters. [A couple of weeks ago](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/politics-follow-people/), I mentioned that [Satrix just launched two new low-cost global ETFs specifically for sustainable investing](https://satrix.co.za/news/article?name=Sustainable%5Finvesting%5Fmatters&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- the MSCI World ESG Enhanced & the MSCI Emerging Markets ESG Enhanced funds ("ESG" stands for "Environmental, Social and Governance"). This is wonderful news for South African investors who want a simple, low-fee global investment that also doesn't feel icky. But one of you wrote back with some concerns: > I have a question: Does ETF fund size matter? > I’m very keen on the Satrix MSCI World ESG enhanced ETF but because it’s new, the fund size is zero. > My sense is that Satrix itself is solid and looking at the index performance of the World ESG ETF over the past 5 years, I like what I see, but is there a risk in investing in a new fund like this? It looks like the targeted annual TER is only slightly higher than their MSCI World ETF, and I’m willing to take that hit to support and earn from ESG focused businesses, but could the TER end up being much higher? Is it possible that the targeted low fees aren’t achieved? I **love** skepticism around financial recommendations. So, I thought this could be a good opportunity to talk about recognising whether an ETF is "safe" to invest in, in general. ### Hang on, what's an ETF again? Picture walking into a supermarket, and seeing a bunch of products lined up on the shelves that you can buy. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/10/IMG_20201030_090403.jpg) Now imagine that instead of buying the products, you could buy tiny pieces of the businesses that MADE those products. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/10/IMG_20201030_085945.jpg) Right, so that's all the stock market is: a place where people buy and sell tiny pieces of businesses. When those businesses make a profit, you get a cut of it. You get a layer of protection from buying businesses through a real stock market like the Johannesburg Stock Exchange, or the London Stock Exchange, or the New York Stock Exchange. Businesses pay a lot of money to be listed on these exchanges, and there are rules listed companies have to follow. These rules make it harder for companies to be run badly or fraudulently. But it's still not impossible: sometimes, you get a Steinhoff or an Enron. It's the difference between buying tomatoes from an established grocery chain versus buying tomatoes from a dude in a dark alley who has them stuffed under a trench coat. You MIGHT still get food poisoning from the grocery store tomatoes, but it's less likely. Now, you're a busy and important person, and far too busy and important to spend your life reading the business news (BORRRRING) and figuring out what companies you should be buying. So instead, you buy an ETF (an exchange-traded fund). An ETF is like if somebody took all the companies in the supermarket and put them in a blender, and then sold you pre-mixed smoothie. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/10/IMG_20201030_091743.jpg) The great thing about buying a smoothie, is that one rotten ingredient doesn't matter that much. The more things you've managed to mix in, the less any one company makes up the overall product. So, you get an extra layer of safety by buying ETFs rather than by buying individual shares. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/10/IMG_20201030_092701.jpg) There's always a chance that any one company you buy might end up being the next Steinhoff, or the next Blockbuster Videos. But ALL companies becoming worthless would only likely happen in a true apocalypse situation, where money won't have meaning any more anyway. ETFs let you very easily invest money into businesses all around the world, in a lot of different sectors. They're the shizniz. Historically, there's no single asset class that's done better over the long term than the stock market (and we have over 100 years of history on this), returning around 7% *above inflation*. Which means that any time you see a financial product promising returns higher than that, your scam senses should start tingling. There's a new super dodgy probable pyramid scheme going around at the moment called [Mirror Trading International](https://www.stealthywealth.co.za/2020/07/is-mirror-trading-international-mti-scam.html?fbclid=IwAR2egnfxIaEJ-yVksLg398BvR2AlhZGigULMH7TUdwO4S1-NLq3Lpcgg8cI&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) that promises 10% *a month* (which is 214% growth a year). Ha fucking ha. *(TL;DR: a low-fee globally-diversified ETF is the starting investment I recommend to most beginners, and there's* [*a list of them*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/good-funds/) *here).* ### Is it a problem if an ETF is brand-new? Let's go back to our reader's question. > My sense is that Satrix itself is solid and looking at the index performance of the World ESG ETF over the past 5 years, I like what I see, but is there a risk in investing in a new fund like this? Satrix, in this case, is the South African company making and selling the smoothie. The recipe for the smoothie is actually from an American company called MSCI. They came up with the "index", which means, the list of which companies should be included in the product. You can buy an identical smoothie from a lot of other companies around the world, like iShares or Blackrock, but right now, Satrix is the only company selling this flavour of smoothie in South Africa. All ETFs made from the same recipe should perform *allllmost* identically. So, even though this particular Satrix ETF didn't exist until recently, you can see how it *would have* performed by looking at the performance of other ETFs made from the same index. *(Here's another example. A different index you might have heard of is the S&P 500, which is a recipe created by a company called Standard & Poor, which is made up of the 500 biggest companies in America - you can buy S&P 500 flavoured ETFs from LOADS of different companies, and the recipe is the same every time, although the COST might differ, which is why you'd want to shop around.)* Satrix is registered with the Financial Authority (FSCA), who are like the food inspectors of the financial sector. And you definitely should make sure that you only invest through registered companies. This is another layer of protection. But the nifty thing about ETFs is that each one actually exists as its own entity, outside of Satrix. Satrix doesn't technically OWN the smoothies it sells, or the shares that make it up, it just manages and markets them. That means that even if Satrix went bankrupt, or their CEO personally absconded with all their money and fled to the Caymen Islands on a yacht with Ryan Gosling, your ETF is still fine. I reached out to Kingsley Williams, the Chief Investment Officer of Satrix, who confirmed this for me. "As attractive a proposition as fleeing to the Cayman Islands, on a yacht, with Ryan Gosling may be, our financial services sector is extremely well regulated and would prevent this from happening," he said. "Since the assets of the fund are not in the Manager’s (Satrix) name they are protected from the insolvency of Satrix. Also each collective investment scheme \[like this ETF\] is governed by a trust deed which falls under the authority of the FSCA \[the food inspectors\]. The FSCA has the authority to inspect the work of the trustee and the manager of the fund which makes things like absconding with the assets of the fund very difficult." Ironically, this means that in South Africa, your money is actually safer in an ETF than in a bank, because bank deposits aren't actually insured in SA (although there are new laws being passed right now to try to fix this; and bank deposits are insured in many other countries). ### What if the ETF is shut down? Very rarely, ETFs do close, but this doesn't just happen willy-nilly. For an ETF to close, there has to be a ballot where a percentage of investors have to agree to this, and the whole process is audited closely by the FSCA. If the investors agree to close the fund, then usually they're offered the option of either swopping their holdings in that ETF with an alternative one, or they're paid out the current value of the ETF, which they can then invest in something different. This is a schlep if it happens, but it happens rarely (Satrix, for instance, has never closed any of its ETFs to date), and it's a hassle rather than a financial disaster. You can watch an ETF closure play out right now in China, where Vanguard (another smoothie-selling company) is moving their Hong Kong office to Shanghai and shutting their Hong Kong-based ETFs. Their investors are grumpy about it but aren't losing money: their ETFs are being transferred to new investment managers or liquidated, in which case they get their ETF's value in cash, and can go invest it somewhere else. ### What if the fees end up being higher than advertised? Our reader was worried that the TER (total expense ratio; i.e. how much Satrix charges you for making/managing your smoothie) would end up being higher than advertised: > It looks like the targeted annual TER is only slightly higher than their MSCI World ETF, and I’m willing to take that hit to support and earn from ESG focused businesses, but could the TER end up being much higher? Is it possible that the targeted low fees aren’t achieved? Kingsley responded to this: "Regulations prevent management fees being increased without giving 3 months’ notice to investors prior to increase. The TER can increase without prior notice if other allowable costs such as bank charges, audit or trustee fees increase or are included in the fund. Issuers generally stick to targeted TERs and will waive their management fee if other costs in the TER increase. However, this is up to the issuer." In other words, it IS possible that the TER could end up being slightly higher. But because it's a brand new fund, and Satrix wants it to do well, they're *likely* to "swallow" additional fees at first rather than passing them on to the investor (but they're not required to). In fact, since announcing this product, Satrix has already lowered the TER on their ESG funds to match their non-ESG funds, so that investors aren't penalised for preferring an ethical fund. Good on them! And if they did raise their TERs in future, you would get 3 months' notice on this, which would be plenty of time to switch to a different ETF if you wanted to. *(Sidebar for the finance nerds: a small fund size really can be a problem for unit trusts, in a way that they aren't for ETFs. A unit trust typically receives/pays for flows in cash, which cause transaction costs and fee drag which might be quite big relative to the fund size; but ETFs usually receive/pay for flows via a basket of underlying shares, thereby avoiding transaction costs.)* ### So, is investing in a brand-new ETF safe? Ja, it's fine. As long as you're sure you're buying it from a trustworthy company that's regulated by the financial authorities. The big risk with an ETF is underperformance: it's definitely possible that there will be (cough cough) a global pandemic or something and the whole world's economy will get pummelled, so you should make sure that you only put money into an ETF if it's money you're saving for the **long term**, so that you can withstand the temporary ups and downs of the stock market. But that's not the same thing as a fraudster running off with your life savings. Sure, there's always *some* risk in doing anything, and there are some wild, highly unlikely scenarios one could imagine where you'd lose all your money investing in an ETF. But just remember that one of the riskiest things you can do with your money is **not invest it at all**, because inflation will just nibble its value away year by year. Wishing you delicious business smoothies, Your friend Sam --- ## Updates from Sam-Land Whatcha doing tomorrow morning, lovelies? I'm hosting a webinar especially for teens. We'll be talking about the basics of earning, spending and saving, and how not to turn into an extremely boring adult. Bring your favourite young person! [Register here](https://bit.ly/likeagrownup?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/10/Facebook-Post-Template-3.png) ### Let's all make gifts! URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/lets-all-make-gifts/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:42:10.000Z Hello, grownups :) When I was small, I had a stuffed buddy named Moo-Moo the Moose (four-year-olds should not be allowed to name things). And one of the most entirely dramatic and heartbreaking events of my young life was when I lost him, and couldn't find him for days. My heroic Mum eventually tracked him down (he'd somehow gotten jammed under the folding backseat of our car) but I tell you, the experience SCARRED ME FOR LIFE. Can you imagine? Poor Moo-Moo, out there in the world, all lost and alone! My poor aching kid-heart! On Saturday, I turned this extremely dramatic childhood tale of woe into a more hopeful story where a kid's beloved toy isn't actually lost, but is just going on a little adventure without them. And over the course of one wild day, the brilliant [Amy Slatem](http://amyslatem.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) illustrated it, and lovely [Natalie Pierre-Eugene](https://www.instagram.com/justalittlenats/?hl=en&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) turned it into a book, which we'll be giving away for free. Aren't Amy's illustrations just the damn cutest things you've ever seen? ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/10/image-12.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/10/image-13.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/10/image-14.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/10/image-15.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/10/image-16.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/10/image-17.png) Giraffe's adventure continues, but rest assured, they eventually find their way back to their kid! ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/10/image-18.png) This charming little book exists thanks to an organisation called [Book Dash](https://bookdash.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Book Dash is on a mission to make sure that every child owns a hundred books by the age of five. **Owning books really matters**. [Studies have shown](https://bookdash.org/the-research-that-underpins-our-work/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) that having books in the home gives kids an advantage at school that's equivalent to 3.2 extra years of schooling, even when you control for things like income and parent's education. So giving away books to children is one of the most low-cost, high-impact things we can do in a country like South Africa, where 78% of Grade 4 (age 10) children can't read for meaning in any language, and 58% of South African households don't own a single leisure book. But books are really expensive. Far too expensive for most low-income families in South Africa. Book Dash's solution to this problem is pretty ingenius: they designed a publishing model that makes it possible to create a beautiful, high-quality kids' book **in one (extremely exhausting) day**. Professional writers, illustrators, designers and editors donate one day of their time and expertise, and the result is a brand new African storybook. **Every book is released for free, under an open license that lets anyone translate, adapt or distribute the book however they like.** You can browse [the whole Book Dash library here](https://bookdash.org/books/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and read a bunch of adorable books featuring characters and scenes relevant to African children. Many of them are available in isiXhosa, Afrikaans, isiZulu, Setswana and many more languages, and a lot of them (like ours) are completely wordless so that illiterate kids and caregivers can tell stories together. Book Dash works with other literacy organisations who get the books out into the world, and they've already given away over 1-million physical books directly. **But the true magic of the open license** means that books end up in all sorts of weird and surprising places. They're shared on free [apps](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=org.bookdash.android&hl=en&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [websites](https://www.storyberries.com/author/book-dash/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). People record videos of the books being read and put them on [YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSb4NvGbcGA&list=PLnL7Wk-vPf-bMQ5lHItNh7VQbGn95G5QU&ab%5Fchannel=CambridgeStorytime&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). They're used in classrooms and reading clubs. One guy took my first Book Dash book (about a dancing hippo) on a long-distance bicycle trip across Africa and read the book aloud to dozens of kids who all signed it. That story has been translated into Igbo, Punjabi, Spanish, French, Tamil, and other languages I'd never even heard of before. It's been able to go further and do more than it ever could have if I'd tried to own it or control it. ![A copy of Hippo Wants to Dance with notes from children who've read it written on the inside cover.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/10/hippo.jpeg) This book went from Cairo to Cape Town, via BICYCLE. Damn thing has been on better adventures than I have! The 24 hours (12x2) I've donated to Book Dash have probably been some of the most impactful work I've done in the world. I think we all know on some level that the relationship between what we get paid for our labour and its value in the world have only a very tenuous connection at best. But it's good to be reminded of that sometimes. Often, the work we do for free is the most valuable work we can do. **When something is free, it can go further.** Free is a multiplier of impact. Wikipedia could not have been the greatest and most accurate encyclopedia the world has ever seen unless it was [created by volunteers](https://wikimediafoundation.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). [Some estimates](https://www.zdnet.com/article/the-linux-foundation-identifies-the-most-important-open-source-software-components-and-their-problems/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) say that 80-90% of all software is made up of open-source code. Free work is the source of most art and music in the world (I mean, just go check out [the 1.6-billion things](https://creativecommons.org/use-remix/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) anyone is free to "use and remix" on Creative Commons). Heck, the free work our parents did for us is the only reason any of us made it to adulthood. Free work holds societies together. We all live in an economy that denies this fact, that tends towards commodifying all of our labour. We all have to hustle for our daily bread, and figure out ways to do meaningful work and still earn an income. I think that it's one of the reasons we all feel so burned out and stressed all the time: we're compelled to think of every passion as a potential side-hustle, every source of joy as an opportunity for self-improvement, every new skill as a way to earn more or build our personal brand or whatever. So much of ourselves becomes consumed by the question of whether it can earn you more money, and okes, it's friggen exhausting. *(Anne Helen Petersen has a great essay about this, called ["How Millennials Became the Burnout Generation"](https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/annehelenpetersen/millennials-burnout-generation-debt-work?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which hit me RIGHT IN THE FEELS I tell you).* ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/10/image-21.png) Nancy by Olivia Jaimes Just imagine how much more humans would create, the extraordinary gifts more people could give to the world if things like universal basic income guarantees gave more people the time to do so. But in the meantime, **there's something incredibly punk, beautifully anarchic, fabulously revolutionary**, about just giving your best work away for free sometimes. And I know, I know, having the free time and energy to be able to do work for free is an extraordinary privilege. And that's the point, isn't it? If you have free time, you've been lucky. The universe has given you a lot. You have a duty to give something back to the world. One of the mental health practices I'm unironically evangelical about is the practice of **gratitude**, in the form of active behaviours to help you cultivate these emotions. You might have heard about gratitude journalling–regularly writing down things you're grateful for. Or if you're a cynic and that idea makes you vom in your mouth a little bit, [studies have shown](https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how%5Fgratitude%5Fchanges%5Fyou%5Fand%5Fyour%5Fbrain?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) that writing a thank you letter to someone, once a week, has long-term benefits for your own mind, even if you never send those letters. Well for me, making gifts is one of my favourite ways to practice gratitude (sorry, every friend of mine who's ever been subjected to one of my terrible personalised birthday songs or hand-drawn cards). I've been feeling pretty tired recently. This year has taken a lot out of me! I'm sure it's taken a lot out of many of you, too. I'm guessing that at least some of that exhaustion comes from feeling like you've been on the hustle treadmill and that it would be nice to just exist outside of the market economy for a minute. Well – here's how you can do that: you can give a gift. Maybe that means finding somebody to mentor. Or volunteering for an NPO, or getting involved in a Mutual Aid society, or visiting an elderly neighbour, or building a fort with your kids, or volunteering for a political cause you care about, or making a piece of art, or making a meal for a soup kitchen. Doing something that enlarges the world. Just like the stuffed giraffe from the story, when you put something out in the world for free, it's amazing what adventures it can go on without you. And yes, if you're wondering, *of course* I still have Moo-Moo. ![Sam Beckbessinger cuddling a stuffed moose](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/10/image-20.png) Wishing you the time and energy to make gifts for the world, Sam --- ### Want to read a Book Dash book? Here are four of my personal faves! - *[Where is Lulu?](https://bookdash.org/books/where-is-lulu-by-mohale-mashigo-nkosingiphile-mazibuko-and-clyde-beech/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* by Mohale Mashigo, Clyde Beech and Nkosingiphile Mazibuko - [*And Also!*](https://bookdash.org/books/also-anja-venter-nkosingiphile-mazibuko-lauren-beukes/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Lauren Beukes, Anja Venter and Nkosingiphile Mazibuko - [*Circles*](https://bookdash.org/books/circles-alex-latimer-gordon-latimer-patrick-latimer/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Alex Latimer, Gordon Latimer and Patrick Latimer - *[Where's that Cat?](https://bookdash.org/books/wheres-that-cat-sam-wilson-thea-nicole-de-klerk-chenel-ferreira-louis-greenberg/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* by Sam Wilson, Chenel Ferreira and Thea Nicole de Klerk --- ### Updates from Sam-Land - PSA: speaking of lost things, our moving company lost/stole half of our stuff. After a brief fury meltdown I'm now feeling pretty zen about it honestly, but please, if you know anyone who's planning an overseas move, strongly warn them against using a company called Bos Logistics. - England is extremely plague-ridden right now so I'm back to holing up in my house. Things that have been bringing me joy: playing [Among Us](https://store.steampowered.com/app/945360/Among%5FUs/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), watching *[Years and Years](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Years%5Fand%5FYears%5F%28TV%5Fseries%29?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, reading *[The City We Became](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/42074525-the-city-we-became?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, exercising with the [Down Dog](https://www.downdogapp.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) app series, and working on my novel with [Dale Halvorsen](https://twitter.com/JoeyHiFi?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). You know what's even better than making things? Making things with friends! - It's your last chance to [order your thank-you postcard](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdnO-n%5FTwVdjpUKDORHdO2FGtGbatjbOhBX3BST5sTIGPVemA/viewform?usp=sf%5Flink&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)! ### Some freebies because I love you URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/freebies/ Last updated: 2026-07-22T14:14:23.000Z Some freebies and an update for members. _This post is for subscribers only._ ### Starting a small family business or side-hustle URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/starting-a-small-family-business/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T10:19:50.000Z Hello, grownups! Like many of you, a lot of my family is unemployed. I won't lie - it's pretty darn stressful! Every human being is a breathtaking combination of creativity and smarts and skills, a miracle of evolution, and how we've created a global economy where millions of them are blocked from doing any paid work is truly mind-boggling to me. But here we are. Recently, I've been giving some thought to how I can help in a more meaningful way than just giving money (not to trash giving money, it's an important thing to do). So, we've been working together to set up a small family business. I've run businesses before, but never with my family. It's been a TRIP, and pretty damn fun, and I thought I'd share some of my most helpful tips, in case any of you are thinking about starting a new side-hustle of your own, or supporting a family member in starting theirs. To be clear, the goal here isn't to build a high-growth unicorn startup that will let them buy a mansion with a swimming pool of doubloons. The goal is to get in an extra couple of thousand rands a month to stretch the household budget. It's also to help re-empower them, because spending months and months in a cycle where you want a job but can't find one is pretty damn depressing, as I'm sure you can imagine. ![Scrooge McDuck swimming in gold coins](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/10/scrooge.gif) Not the goal! Look, big disclaimer: I'm not a business genius. There are many people in the world who have much more experience than I do at starting successful businesses, and you should probably take their advice rather than mine. But I havestarted *a lot* of businesses, and coached a lot of young entrepreneurs, and I really like writing simple step-by-step guides to things, as you probably know by now 😉 So here's my very simple "get started" guide to launching a small business or side hustlein 2020\. These steps apply mostly to selling things on the internet, and they're geared towards simple producty businesses. ### Pre-amble: don't lose sight of the *first* important thing Your most important job when starting a business is finding **product-market fit**, which is the fancy way of saying, finding a product that people really want to buy. This is a process, not a revelation that will come to you in a blinding flash of brilliance at three in the morning. The angel Gabriel will not descend in a stream of light and whisper to you, "Cactus socks! The people want cactus socks!" Sorry, but finding a viable business idea will take some work. Here's how you do that: you start out with an idea of what people might want, then you **actually go and get feedback from them**, and refine your product so that it meets their needs better. Repeat that cycle as many times as you need to, until people want your product so badly that you can't produce it fast enough to keep up with the demand. It sounds easy enough, but you would be amazed at how many people skip this *most important step.* Most small businesses that I've seen fail, failed because they lost sight of the fact that **finding product-market fit was their first important job**. It's extremely easy to get side-tracked worrying about a gorgeous website/brand/app/business cards/social media account, or spending too much time polishing up the product itself until it's stupendously amazing, or setting up a bulletproof accounting and compliance system. Those things are all important, but they **are not the first important thing.** You can polish up your product all you want, but if it's not actually something that enough people desperately want to buy in the first place, then you have a hobby, not a business. Do not over-invest in your idea until you find product-market fit, because you're only making it harder to change/adapt the idea as you get customer feedback. The best way to get feedback is simply to try to sell something, and see if people will buy it. And as much as possible, try to sell things that you haven't actually made yet. I know that sounds weird, but I swear there's a logic to it. Eric Reis popularised this approach in his book [*The Lean Startup*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/10127019-the-lean-startup?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). The book is very tech-business focussed, but the basic insights apply to any type of new business, and I do recommend giving it a skim (or watching [a quick summary](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSaIOCHbuYw&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) like this one). Finding product-market fit is the **first important thing.** Do not forget the first important thing. Then, when you're ready to get started, here's what to do: ### Step 1: Find an idea Even better, find a few ideas. The thing about starting a business is that most of your ideas will fail, so you have to try a lot of them. If you're stuck, it's usually a good idea to start off by asking, **what do I already have?** You already have skills that many other people don't. You live somewhere, which means you have special insights into what people in your local community need. You might own power tools, or a car, or a Labrador Retriever who you've trained to pick pockets, or something else that could be turned into a working asset with some creativity. Focus on stuff you can productize, which is a fancy way of saying 'stuff you can resell over and over again'. It's much easier to sell a copy of the same t-shirt 100 times than to sell 100 unique t-shirts once. It was much easier for me to write a book about money than it was to sit you all down and explain how money works to each of you individually (as fun as I'm sure that would have been). So, write down a number of business ideas, and then circle the ones that you think solve a pressing problem that people have, that you can feasibly do, and that are productizable. Narrow down your list and decide where to begin. ### Step 2: Turn your idea into a value proposition Figure out exactly who your product is for, and what problem it solves for them (a value proposition, in business-speak). Be crystal clear about this, but know that you'll refine it a hundred times as you learn more and keep looking for product-market fit. Still, you need to start somewhere! There are a lot of different models or frameworks to help you do this. The one I like best is Storybrand, because it helps you boil your idea down to a single sentence. [Here's a good intro video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFergI0UOAs&t=1563s&ab%5Fchannel=EntreLeadership&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to this approach, and [here's another one.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUAWqsJFWkg&ab%5Fchannel=BookVideoClub&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ### Step 3: Do some competitor research Not, like, days' worth, but you should spend at least an hour or two doing some homework to figure out what the existing options are today, how they're priced, where they're finding customers, and what you can do better than them. (Bear in mind that "better" might just mean "closer to your customers" in many cases.) Don't get disheartened if you find another business that's exactly like the one you wanted to build. Original ideas aren't important in business. Yeah, I said it. Obviously, don't try to exactly copy another business to the extent that someone might confuse you for them, but also don't feel like you have to go back to the drawing board just because there's another business out there selling vegan baking kits or whatever. It's a big world and there's room for both of you. For bonus points, go play around with [Google Keyword Planner](https://ads.google.com/intl/en%5Fuk/home/tools/keyword-planner/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and see what terms people are Googling. Say leatherworking is your hobby, and you want to start selling custom leather goods. You're not sure what products to focus on. So maybe you would check the terms "leather belt", "leather handbag", and "leather dog collars". ![Google Keyword Planner](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/10/planner-1.png) Here you'll see that people are most interested in leather *handbags*, from those options, and that it would cost you about R6.51 to appear at the top of a Google search when people type in that search term. Google will also suggest some other related ideas that people are searching for. ![Google Keyword planner](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/10/planner-2-1.png) You certainly don't need to use Google Keyword Planner! Just do whatever homework will help you understand your customers a little better. ### Step 4: Make a prototype Note that I'm not saying, GO AND SOURCE FIFTEEN MILLION UNITS OF WHAT YOU WANT TO SELL. I'm saying, go and make ONE. Even better, go and make a mockup of one. Make something that's enough like the real thing that you can get a good sense if people will buy it, but try to invest as little as possible into your prototype. It's a careful balance to strike. Some examples: - If you're thinking of selling a course you'll deliver over Zoom, write an **outline** for the course, and maybe make a flyer advertising it. Don't actually start putting together the course content until you've taken real bookings. - If you're thinking of making face-masks with ten different hilarious patterns, make **one** so that you can figure out roughly what it will look like, and then use a photo editing app to mock up the other nine designs. You get the idea. If you need to create posters, flyers, social media posts or anything like that, there are some wonderful free tools you can use now to make gorgeous things without knowing a damn thing about design. Two of my favourites are [Canva](https://www.canva.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Over](https://www.madewithover.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Buying loads of a thing makes your cost-per-thing pretty low. Buying one of a thing is usually much more expensive. That means that you will probably lose money on the first few things you sell. That is **normal**. Do not get suckered into buying in bulk before you have found product-market fit. Repeat it again: *don't lose sight of the first important thing.* You should put a price on your prototype to see if people will buy it. You can tie yourself in knots doing loads of research about cheap suppliers, figuring out the right profit margin etc. When you're just starting out, I would suggest just **slapping on the same price as your most similar competitor.** You can always tweak the pricing later. If you want to cover your butt and make sure customers aren't mad if you inflate your prices later, clearly mention a "special launch price" or something. ### Step 5: Create a brand (optional) Again, don't over-think it at this point, but you might want a name for your little business. Run your name idea through something like [Namecheck.com](https://www.namecheck.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to make sure that the social media handles and website domains are available, and check the national register for businesses in your country to make sure no-one's registered it there (here's [South Africa](https://www.govchain.co.za/name-search/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), here's [the UK](https://find-and-update.company-information.service.gov.uk/company-name-availability?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)). If you need a logo for cheap or free, try [Fiverr](https://www.fiverr.com/categories/graphics-design/creative-logo-design?source=hplo%5Fsearch%5Ftag&pos=3&name=creative-logo-design), [Tailor Brands](https://www.tailorbrands.com/logo-maker?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Namecheap](https://www.namecheap.com/logo-maker/app/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or [Canva](https://www.canva.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). You can honestly skip this step and come back to it later once you're sure you can actually sell your products. ### Step 6: Try to sell your stuff! Here's where we check if people actually want your product. Try to sell it! At first, do this in the simplest and most straightforward way you can: *go to them*, don't try to bring them to you. This could mean: - Actually calling up / visiting potential clients. - Seeing if you can sell your product on your own social media profiles. - Listing your product on an existing marketplace like [HelloPretty](https://hellopretty.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (SA), [Etsy](https://www.etsy.com/uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), or [Facebook Marketplace](https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/). - Putting up flyers in your local supermarket/community bulletin board. Each of your first customers is a GOLDMINE of potential feedback. As much as you can, try to engage them about what is and isn't working for them about your product, and what would make it better. Try to sell, then revise the value proposition, sell, revise, sell, revise, and keep doing this until you feel like the response you're getting from people is: ![Fry from Futurama going "Shut up and take my money"](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/10/image-7.png) Congratulations! You now have a viable business. Now you can help it to grow up. ### What happens next? At this point, you've probably sold a few prototypes of your product, and gotten good feedback from your customers. Now you want to start investing a bit more into your business, to help you sell more of the products, reduce your costs, and reduce the amount of effort that each product takes to make and sell. It's also really important that you build some kind of system to help you track and measure the **money**. Depending on how complex your needs are, this might mean: - Open a separate bank account to keep all of the business costs and income separate to your own. - Sign up for a free accounting and invoicing app like [Wave](https://www.waveapps.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (great if you're freelancing). - Sign up for a more sophisticated paid accounting tool like [Xero](https://www.xero.com/uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (better for businesses that plan to have staff and other more complex needs). - Register an actual business. It's important to do this early on if it's a business you hope to sell one day, or get investors into. It's not that urgent if you're unlikely to do that. Please make sure that you know what the rules are about paying taxes as a small business owner in your country, so that you're not unpleasantly surprised by a big tax bill down the line. You likely won't have to pay taxes until you're earning a fair amount of money, though (or if you're Donald Trump - seeeeeethe). You might want to build a home for your business on the internet. Again, don't overcomplicate this when you're starting out. You really don't have to know how to code, or pay a professional web developer: there are so many easy-peasy tools these days that help you get an online store up within a couple of hours. - If you need an online store, [Shopify](https://www.shopify.co.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is brain-meltingly easyto set up. [Here's an easy step-by-step guide](https://www.shopify.com/blog/start-online-store?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). For processing payments, I recommend plugging in [Stripe](https://stripe.com/gb?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) in most countries, but [Payfast](https://www.payfast.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) in South Africa. For shipping in South Africa, try DawnWing. Globally, look at UPS, FedX or DHL, or just use the default Shopify Shipping if it's available in your country. [*Woocommerce*](https://woocommerce.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) *can be cheaper to set up, but I personally find it horrifically klunky.* - If you don't need an online store, but you do need a website, [Squarespace](https://www.squarespace.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is your best bet. It's not free, but it's the simplest to use, and their templates are gorgeous. - If you're on a serious budget and you just need a simple landing page, try [ConvertKit](https://convertkit.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). The free plan will get you quite far. ConvertKit is also a great option for building up an email database (which you absolutely should be doing, more on this below). [Wix](https://www.wix.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) also has a free plan. - Many businesses will be fine with just a Facebook page. - If you need to jazz up your site with free illustrations, try [Undraw](https://undraw.co/illustrations?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Looking for free photos? Try [Pexels](https://www.pexels.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Building a web presence doesn't mean anything unless you get people to it. Otherwise, it's like you've put up a billboard in the middle of the desert. This means that if you're serious about selling things online, **the best skills you can invest in are simple online marketing skills.** The good news is that there are a bajillion free courses online that will teach you the basics. The ones I recommend most often for absolute beginners are Google's [Fundamentals of Digital Marketing](https://learndigital.withgoogle.com/digitalgarage/course/digital-marketing?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) course and Brad Batesole's [Online Marketing Foundations](https://www.linkedin.com/learning/online-marketing-foundations-3/connecting-with-customers-online?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). You might also want to find deep-dive courses into specific topics like the [Facebook Business Ads Manager](https://www.facebook.com/business/learn/series/guide-to-advertising-using-business-ads-manager). For most people selling stuff online, you'll get the most value from focusing on these three things at first: - [Google Analytics](https://analytics.google.com/analytics/web/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (which you can use with [Squarespace](https://support.squarespace.com/hc/en-us/articles/205815608-Using-Google-Analytics-with-Squarespace?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Shopify](https://www.websitebuilderexpert.com/ecommerce-website-builders/shopify/add-google-analytics-shopify/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)) - [Facebook Ads](https://www.facebook.com/business/ads) (which also covers Instagram) - [Google Ads](https://ads.google.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) In time, you probably want to start adding stuff like email marketing and social media, but get your head around paid ads first, because it will get you the quickest bang for your buck. ### Working as a team One last word on family dynamics. Starting a business as a family could bring you together, or it could just poke at existing emotional bruises and reinforce unhealthy dynamics. Tread carefully, move slowly, and listen much more than you talk. I'm generally a pretty helpful and easygoing person, but put me in a stressful situation and suddenly I'm Miss Trunchbull from *Matilda,* bossy and impatient and extremely unlikeable. My poor family have had to deal with more of this nonsense from me than anyone else. So, in this case, I'm trying to be extra conscious of my worst tendencies and keep that shit under control. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/10/image-5.png) Do not Trunchbull this, buds You probably have some pretty unpleasant tendencies hidden somewhere in your personality too! Make sure that when you approach a project like this, you're ready to do so with as much love and humility and self-awareness as you can. Otherwise, it's not worth it. If you're the one who's historically supported your family financially, and you're proposing helping *them* to set up a business that you won't be an active part of, make sure that you're letting them take the lead. Please do not barge in giving unwanted advice and telling them what they need to do to fix their problems. They almost certainly understand their problems better than you do. The goal is to help them to *solve their own problems*, by removing the biggest barriers standing in their way. Here's what removing barriers might look like: - Offering some "seed capital" to help them create their first prototype, buy a working asset, pay for the first few months of online advertising, or whatever else they need. - Being available to listen, ask good questions to help them figure out their own business idea. - Offering to pay for a course, or to support them while they complete a course that will help them to start their business. - Helping them to see where they have more resources available than they think. In my case, this meant pointing out to a less tech-savvy family member that one of our younger family members was also unemployed at the momentand might be willing to learn all the online marketing stuff and be responsible for it - they were! Win-win-win all around. - Being very clear about your own limits and boundaries (kindly), so that they have a realistic idea of what you can and can't help with. This prevents you from feeling overwhelmed, and it helps them to plan better. - Asking them how THEY want you to help. - Forwarding them this stupendously helpful article! 😉 I'm making this one free, so share away. Times are tough out there. The jobs are gone, and many of them aren't coming back any time soon. We need radical ideas like [universal basic income](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Universal%5Fbasic%5Fincome?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#:~:text=Universal%20basic%20income%20%28UBI%29%2C,a%20given%20population%20without%20a) guarantees or public work programmes, but we're also going to have to be creative about how to help the people we love in the here and now. At the end of the day, if all you want is to support a family member financially, just give them money. It's MUCH simpler. But there really are few things in life more empowering than knowing how to make your own money when you need to. If your family wants to give it a try, support them! Who knows? It might be as much of an adventure for your family as it's been for mine. Wishing you product-market fit, and a swimming pool filled with gold doubloons, Your friend Sam --- ## National Wills Week! Y'all know I'm [pretty evangelical](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/what-to-do-when-a-loved-one-is-dying/) about how everybody needs a will. Well, South Africans, National Wills Week is happening between the 26-30th of October. Lawyers all around the country will be helping people draft their will for free, or super cheap. So if you, or someone else you care about, doesn't have one yet, now's your chance. Find a participating lawyer here: [https://www.lssa.org.za/our-initiatives/advocacy/national-wills-week/](https://www.lssa.org.za/our-initiatives/advocacy/national-wills-week/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) --- ## Updates from Sam-land ![Digby the cat, sleeping](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/10/image-8.png) It is cold, and Digby has been stealing all of my body-heat. - Speeeeeaaaaking of selling stuff online, I've put up an [online store](https://shop.likeafuckinggrownup.com/?v=79cba1185463&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) where you can buy books from me directly, but you can also buy EXCELLENT MERCH featuring some of Nanna Venter's charming illustrations. We'll be adding more goodies down the line (like stickers for your fuckaround fund bank cards). Hold tight on actually buying things, because I'm definitely going to send members a special discount coupon in next week's mail, but I'd love your feedback in the meantime (see what I did there? 😉). - I'm still having a ridiculous amount of fun writing a choose-your-own-adventure story about climate change. I thought learning more about this topic would make me feel hopeless and frightened, but it's just making me feel really *motivated* about how important the next few years are going to be. - After putting it down for a couple of months so we can look at it with fresh eyes, Dale Halvorsen and I are about to start the next round of edits on *Magpies*, our creepy young adult horror novel. This brings me ALL the joy. - PING! What was that? Your phone buzzing to let you know that the price of your favourite asset has just dropped? Or that you've just hit a savings goal? Or that your #high-risk investments are now over 5% of your portfolio? [Lettuce](https://lettuce.money/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) now lets you set up sophisticated custom alerts for almost anything. SMOOCH! S ### Technology isn't (always) the solution URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/technology-isnt-the-solution/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:42:20.000Z There's a story about J. Robert Oppenheimer, the father of the atomic bomb. Standing in the test room when they first deployed the Trinity bomb, the first test deployment of the same kind of nuclear device that would kill 200,000 civilians in Nagasaki and Hiroshima just three weeks later, he watched the great mushroom cloud fill the sky and thought of words from the Bhagavad Gita: > I am become death, the destroyer of worlds. Except, [people who were there at the time](https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Robert%5FOppenheimer?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) say what he actually said in the moment was, "It worked." And that afterwards he took to the stage and clasped his hands together ["like a prize-winning boxer"](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J.%5FRobert%5FOppenheimer?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) while the crowd cheered. Later, J. Robert Oppenheimer had a lot of regrets and mixed feelings about his role in creating atomic bombs. But at the time, he was focussed on the question of *what was possible,* rather than the question of how that new technology would likely be used by the social power structures around him. ![Jean-Marc Côté illustration of a future school where kids have headphones on that beam the contents of books directly into their brains](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/10/image.png) Jean-Marc Côté's 1899 prediction of what school would look like in the year 2000\. Kind of looks like a Covid Zoom-school - he wasn't much wrong! I've spent a lot of my working life building apps, websites and other software. This means that I've met a *lot* of tech-utopians. Tech-utopians are people who believe that new technology can cure any problem. Oh, the global financial system is corrupt? [Bitcoin will fix it!](https://www.nytimes.com/2018/02/02/technology/cryptocurrency-puerto-rico.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) We're pouring pollution into the air and it's going to make huge parts of the world uninhabitable for humans? [Let's hack the planet](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Climate%5Fengineering?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)! Our food system relies on unfathomable numbers of animals to suffer every day of their short, miserable lives? Let's [use bacteria to turn air into meat](https://www.livescience.com/air-protein-meat.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)! And look, I'm as susceptible to a good bout of techno-utopianism as the rest of them. Who hasn't fantasised about how rad it'll be once we all have personal robot butlers and fully embrace transhumanist body modifications? (Me, I'm signing up for a skin pocket, like a kangaroo pouch to keep my phone in) But the longer I've spent working in tech, the more convinced I've become that new technology *alone* is seldom the solution. If you want to improve the world, you sometimes do need new technology; but you also need to address the social and political forces that created that problem in the first place. Sorry. I think of technology as the accelerator pedal in a car. It can make the car go faster, but you still have to **steer the car.** Politics, culture, how we organise society? That's the steering system: it determines how new technology is used. It's just as important to make sure that the car is going in the right direction, as to make sure it's moving forward. Like, if you're driving towards a cliff, going faster should probably not be your first priority. Melvin Kranzberg, in his famous [Six Laws of Technology](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melvin%5FKranzberg?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) talk in 1985, said it well: > Technology is neither good nor bad, nor is it neutral. By which he meant, technology is **morally ambiguous**, but not morally neutral. Technology is invented by humans and used for human purposes (often ones that the technology's original inventors could never have imagined), so it's infused with human values, both good and evil. [Cory Doctorow](https://boingboing.net/2009/01/24/helicopters-for-ever.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) once dug up this magnificent article from a 1951 *Mechanics Illustrated* magazine about how, in the near future, we'd all be flying private helicopters. Look closely at this glorious imagined future. Notice anything? ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/09/image-17.png) The sweet dolt who drew this could fully imagine a future where every family has their own private roof helicopter, but couldn't imagine a future where women *also have jobs to go to* (or where black people exist, for that matter). I love this illustration so much, because it's a beautiful reminder to me about how much easier it is to imagine technological change, than to imagine social change. This has been coming up a lot in my conversations with people about climate change: the sense that we should just be able to invent new tech that will fix the problem for us. And there are, indeed, a lot of proposed technologies on the table: [machines that can suck carbon out of the air](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carbon%5Fcapture%5Fand%5Fstorage?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and put it back into the ground; ways to make the [atmosphere](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stratospheric%5Faerosol%5Finjection?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [ocean](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marine%5Fcloud%5Fbrightening?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#:~:text=Marine%20cloud%20brightening%20also%20known,to%20offset%20anthropogenic%20global%20warming.) or [cities](https://e360.yale.edu/features/urban-heat-can-white-roofs-help-cool-the-worlds-warming-cities?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) more shiny so that more sunlight is reflected away from the planet; better batteries that will help us to switch to electric vehicles; [solar panel roof tiles](https://www.tesla.com/en%5FGB/solarroof?ref=sambeckbessinger.com); smart AI-managed electrical grids; [cryptocurrencies](https://earthdollar.org/home/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) that allow companies to more easily trade carbon credits... the list goes on and on. We will probably need at least some of these technologies in the coming decades (in fact, climate modellers already take gains from not-yet-invented technology into account when predicting how the climate will change over the next century). But here's the thing: **none of these technologies, by themselves, are enough to stop climate change from causing catastrophic damage to human lives.** Because even if these technologies existed today, we'd still have the same issue we have now: how do we make sure that they are actually used? And that they're used responsibly? It's already cheaper to produce energy by building new renewables (solar and wind power) than by building new coal-based power plants, everywhere. In half the world, it's even cheaper to produce power by building new renewables **[than by running existing coal plants](https://www.vox.com/energy-and-environment/2020/3/14/21177941/climate-change-coal-renewable-energy?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** (and that will be true *everywhere* by 2030). We improved the technology of renewables so much that we SHOULD have solved the problem. But the world is still building new coal plants, and launching new fracking projects, and building new oil pipelines. In fact, just 35 banks have shovelled [$2.7-trillion](https://www.ran.org/bankingonclimatechange2020/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) into new fossil-fuel energy projects **since 2016.** Why? Well, because *politics*, basically. Because banks invested in old technologies and they don't want to lose their money on "stranded assets". Because huge fossil fuel companies are still some of the richest in the world, and they're unable to give that up. Because we've allowed those entrenched interests to spend loads of money convincing lawmakers to rewrite the laws in their favour. Because power utilities are usually monopolies that keep some people very powerful. Because fossil fuel companies employ a lot of people, and we haven't found a good way for the gains of new technology to be shared fairly amongst a society, yet. Because trust in democracy is at [record lows](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-51281722?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). And changing these things feels really **hard** and **boring** and **complicated**, and can't we just rather invent new shiny gizmos that solve all our problems, please? ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/10/image-1.png) You've got mail! Another Jean-Marc Côté 1899 prediction about the year 2000. I really feel like this is the most important question for us, stumbling into the 2020s. How can we fix democracy? Honestly, I have no idea. But it seems pretty clear that it's got to be something a little more involved than showing up to vote every 4 years and yelling at the news every morning. We *have to fix it*, if we have any hope of solving the most urgent problems the world is facing. And surely, it must be easier to convince politicians to change laws that ensure we keep more oil and gas and coal in the ground over the next decade, than it would be to build a whole fleet of space mirrors to deflect the sun away? There's been so much progress. Just a few months ago, the Centre for Environmental Rights used the legal system (part of our democracy!) to successfully scupper plans to build a new coal plant in Mpumalanga, which already has [some of the most polluted air in the world](https://mg.co.za/article/2018-10-30-mpumalanga-tops-world-nitrogen-dioxide-air-pollution-charts/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#:~:text=Mpumalanga%20province%20has%20the%20highest,by%20environmental%20activist%20organisation%20Greenpeace.&text=It%20provides%20imagery%20detailing%20air,1%20to%20August%2031%202018.). And that's wonderful. But it's not enough, because there are also 80,000 people employed by the coal mining industry in Mpumalanga, and we need a better plan for them than "whoops sorry your jobs are gone now". Technology isn't going to fix that. Only politics can. Anyway. I'm off to go and Google who the heck my local MP is. Also, what an MP is. Wishing you your own personal helicopter, Your buddy Sam. --- ### Updates from Sam-Land - As you can probably guess from my ENDLESS RANTING about climate change (I'm so sorry) it's something I'm thinking about a lot at the moment, because I'm working on a choose your own adventure web-story about how we can survive the rest of the century. Longtime readers will know that this project grew out of a [geo-engineering conference](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-joys-of-making-pointless-shit/) I went to last year. I'm hoping to release this early next year, so if you find climate stuff boring, you should probably unsubscribe from the newsletter, friends! I'm going to be talking about this A LOT. - Are any of you South Africans who are part of a corporate pension fund? I'm working on a new app to help you understand your retirement savings better. [Please could you answer a few questions for me in this form?](https://forms.gle/cWiDA9ymgBgZE9gZ8?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) It shouldn't take more than 5 minutes. Thank you!! - Speaking of apps, Lettuce, our little investment-tracking app, now lets you track [profit and loss.](https://lettuce.money/count-your-profits/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - I had the loveliest chat with Edwin van der Walt on the NovieGuide podcast. We started off talking about budgeting for freelancers, and then ended up getting super deep discussing how I ended up with such INTENSE feelings about financial freedom, why the money taboo exists, and what I would say to 20-year-old me if I met her. [Listen to the whole chat here.](https://soundcloud.com/user-302003848?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ### On Victory Gardens and community resilience URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/on-victory-gardens-and-community-resilience/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:42:30.000Z Hi, grownups! Let me tell you about my current obsession: **Victory Gardens.** During World War I and World War II, a lot of the normal supply chains that produced essential things were disrupted. Remember how back in March we were all running out of toilet paper? Well, in America and Britain in the 1910s and 1940s they were running out of **food**, which is a significantly bigger problem. The food shortages happened because the wars disrupted supply chains, very quickly. Before the wars, a lot of food was imported, and obviously it gets a bit *awks* to try to buy stuff from people you're also trying to murder. Transportation became a problem, because the Germans were very good at bombing ships headed to Britain. There were also not enough farmworkers, because all the able-bodied young men were sent off to the army. Fun side-note, this lead to recruitment drives to get young women into these jobs. In Britain, this farm squad was called the [Women's Land Army](https://www.iwm.org.uk/history/what-was-the-womens-land-army?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and please can we talk about how totally banging their uniforms were: ![Vintage poster saying "For a healthy, happy job, join the Women's Land Army"](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/09/image-13.png) The puffy pants! The knee-socks! The sharp yellow collar! I DIE. (Less fun side-note: in America in World War II, food shortages also had a lot to do with the fact that the most productive farming communities at the time were Americans of Japanese descent (who were responsible for growing over half of all canning tomatoes, for instance), and they were thrown in concentration camps and had all their land stolen. [Here's a good summary](https://www.greenamerica.org/blog/reclaiming-victory-gardens-our-racist-history?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) if you're interested in learning more about this rotten part of U.S. history, and also how community gardening became a powerful form of resistance inside the internment camps.) Food shortages were so bad that the U.K. introduced [ration books](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rationing%5Fin%5Fthe%5FUnited%5FKingdom?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) restricting the amount of each food product individuals could buy (for instance, you were allowed 227g of sugar per week, 57g of butter, and today's equivalent of £2.31/R50 worth of meat). Lemons and bananas vanished for years, and oranges could only be bought for children or pregnant women. You could be fined if you were caught eating too much food at a restaurant, or for feeding pigeons. So, some of the Allied countries came up with a plan: try to relieve pressure on the food system by getting every family to grow some of their own vegetables. These were very flamboyantly named **VICTORY GARDENS**, and the propaganda posters were quite something. Gardening is your patriotic duty, citizen! ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/09/victory-garden-war-poster-1589319612.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/09/e5bb6bdc10c4ae0543051adbc050ed78.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/09/USDA-fruits-of-victory-poster.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/09/victory-garden-poster.jpg) Sure we might "both be fighting the war together" but for one of us that means our hands might get a bit muddy and for one of us that means GETTING SHOT AT WITH ACTUAL BULLETS. The "Dig for Victory" campaigns were designed to **boost morale** as much as to actually feed people. It's hard not to feel resentful of a war if it means your family goes to bed hungry. Growing food gave people something to do, a way to feel less helpless. It made them feel like they were all in something together. What blows my mind is how wildly successful they were. People planted vegetables in suburban gardens, on vacant plots, on city rooftops, on the edges of railways, on sports fields and golf courses, even on the White House lawn. By the end of World War II, **[between 30-40% of all vegetables](https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/25/dining/victory-gardens-coronavirus.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** produced in Britain and America were coming from Victory Gardens. ![Batman, Superman and Robin growing a Victory Garden on the cover of a 1943 comic book](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/09/image-14.png) Holy rolling cabbages, Batman! With 2020 feeling so unstable, I suppose it's no surprise that so many of us got super into gardening this year. And yes, I'm nothing if not a Tragically Predictable Millennial Hipster Stereotype, and our tiny courtyard is littered with the remains of a number of food-growing experiments from the past few months: anaemic tomato vines, a sack that we grew potatoes in (but we were impatient, so harvested adorably teeeeensy little potato-babies), one lone yellow pepper that we're still hoping will turn red at some point, dead pea vines, a stubbornly tiny lemon seedling that I planted in *April*. As so many wannabe city-based food growers no doubt discovered back in 1939, growing vegetables is HARD. **In one century, most of us lost the skills that kept the human race alive for the past 12,000 years.** And look, I'm a big fan of commercial farming! It's far more efficient, and I like that because of it, *most of us get to have jobs that are not farming*. 200 years ago, almost everyone was a farmer, as opposed to now, when many people's job is "type things into computers". I'm much better at typing things into computers than I am at convincing stupid lettuce seedlings not to die (fuck you, lettuce seedlings), so this is a development I'm generally pretty glad about. But one problem with the globalised, commercialised food system we have today is that while it's efficient, it's also **brittle**. The more steps there are between where your food is grown and how it gets to your plate, the more ways there are for something to go wrong. Ironically, the same polluting, unequal, industrialised food system that has allowed most of us forget how to grow our own food may contribute to the fact that *more of us need to know how to*. ![People walking through a street that was destroyed by Hurricane Maria](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/09/image-15.png) In September 2017, Hurricane Maria devastated Puerto Rico, flooding towns, ripping up farms, and killing thousands of people. In an act of blatant racism and disregard for the poor, the disaster response from the United States (which Puerto Rico is part of) was wholly inadequate. Three months later, 45% of Puerto Ricans still had no electricity. Christine Nieves survived Maria by huddling in her bathroom with her family. In the days that followed, her community waited for help to arrive, but it never did. Eventually, her village banded together and opened a community kitchen that fed hundreds of people a day, that eventually became a multi-functional disaster distribution centre. Nine months later, her village still had no power, so they started installing a community-owned solar energy grid. When the state failed to support them, the community organised themselves and rebuilt what they needed. She says that this was the lesson she learned: "When disasters happen, the person right in front of you is your best chance of survival." Last week I wrote about how [the most important and urgent thing we need to do](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/politics-follow-people/) to prevent the more catastrophic effects of climate change is to stop burning fossil fuels (this could be achieved through a progressive carbon tax, by ending current subsidies to the fossil fuel industries, by investing in renewable energy projects, or by other regulatory means, but the outcome *must* be to keep gas, oil and coal in the ground). But here's something else I have to tell you: climate change is not something that will happen in the future, it's happening now. Many of the climate effects we're going to feel over the next few decades are already "locked in", no matter what we do now. Amongst other things, they're going to take the form of more droughts, more wildfires, more hurricanes, more floods, and (sorry) more pandemics. We urgently have to stop burning fossil fuels so that the future is merely "bad" not "very very bad". But either way, we also need to start thinking about how we're going to **adapt** to a less stable world. So what am I saying? I'm not saying that you should give up your job and go be a farmer (especially if you're as terrible as farming as I am), or even that you should plant a Victory Garden. I'm saying that all of us need to **invest in projects that build our community's capacities for resilience and self-reliance.** Maybe that looks like those of us who can afford to buying more of our food from local farmers. Maybe it means supporting local projects to turn under-used land into low-cost housing or public infrastructure. Maybe that means joining a mutual aid group, or investing in [solar energy projects](https://thesunexchange.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), or supporting [an urban farming project](https://www.facebook.com/streetscapescp/) that also helps people without housing. Heck, maybe it just means saying hi to your neighbours once in a while. Anyway, it's Autumn here, and I just harvested several kilograms of basil that I have to figure out what to do with. Anybody want to come over and help me make pesto? Wishing you balloon pants and a good harvest (or an early spring), Sam --- ### Updates from Sam-land Here's me chatting to Simon Brown about my teen money book, and why it's really just a diabolical plot to make dinner conversations awkward. [The TikTok sale, tourism under Level 1 and money management for teensViv Govender of Rand Swiss on strong selling in the local market and a look at the TikTok sale. YPO member Lorenzo Tencati on the economy and tourism under Level 1\. Author Sam Beckbessinger on her new book, Manage your money like a grownup.![](https://www.moneyweb.co.za/wp-content/themes/moneyweb/images/favicons/favicon-194x194.png)MoneywebSimon Brown![](https://www.moneyweb.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/348221820-1024x683.jpg)](https://www.moneyweb.co.za/moneyweb-radio/moneyweb-now/the-tiktok-sale-tourism-under-level-1-and-money-management-for-teens/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ### The Politics Follow the People (or, how I learned to stop worrying and love the protests) URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/politics-follow-people/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:42:38.000Z Hello grownups! I'm working on a project that has me deeply immersed in reading about the climate emergency. And yup, as you'd expect, a lot of the time this has me almost breathing into a paper bag in panic. To be honest, I've felt for a long time that sure, this is obviously very important, but isn't it all a bit hopeless really? Because c'mon, how are you actually going to convince the fossil fuel industry to stop burning coal, or persuade politicians to make them? Might as well just start [building an emergency bunker in New Zealand](https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-04-19/-we-needed-to-go-rich-americans-activate-pandemic-escape-plans?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), I guess. ![Kenneth from 30rock saying "Time to Die!"](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/09/kenneth.gif) But I learned something this week that has made me feel more hopeful than I have felt in a long time, so I wanted to share it with you. It's a number: 3.5%. The thing about the climate emergency is that it's fundamentally a *collective action* problem, not a technological problem. It's also not an **individual behaviour change** problem. Sure, you can go vegan and refuse straws and give up your car and make your own clothes out of hemp all you like, and [those things matter](http://www.kimnicholas.com/uploads/2/5/7/6/25766487/fig1full.jpg?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), but they're not going to be remotely sufficient. There's a much bigger and more urgent issue: we need the whole world to stop burning fossil fuels for energy, like, yesterday. Solve that, and [you've halted the biggest source of the emissions](https://www.vox.com/energy-and-environment/21428525/climate-change-west-coast-fires-cause-charts?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). We especially need China, the US, Europe and India to stop (UK and South African readers, you're not off the hook, you're the 15th and 16th worst offenders, respectively). We need this to happen **now**. Specifically, we need **[high-emitting rich countries to get to net zero carbon emissions by around 2025-2030](https://extinctionrebellion.uk/the-truth/the-emergency/part-6/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#What-are-governments-%E2%80%98supposed%E2%80%99-to-be-doing-to-address-the-ecological-crisis)** if we want a 2 out of 3 chance of staying below the 1.5°C target the world needs to hit to avoid the worst of climate change's effects. That means that we urgently need these countries to pass laws that stop fossil fuel subsidies, that radically tax or limit carbon emissions, and that pour money into fair renewable energy projects, as quickly as possible. **Covid-19 actually presents us with a uniquely good opportunity to do this.** The [International Energy Agency has calculated](https://www.iea.org/reports/sustainable-recovery?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) that governments have already committed to spending 9-trillion USD on stimulus packages this year to rescue their economies from the Coronavirus crisis. They could choose to use this money to prop up dead, dirty industries, or to create a wave of good new jobs in sustainable energy, mass transport and clean manufacturing. The money we spend now has an oversized impact on our chances of hitting the carbon emissions goal in this crucial decade. **That's the urgency of the moment we are facing right now**: we need our leaders to choose to spend this stimulus money correctly, and to follow it up with decisive action against carbon emitters. But changing laws is sloooooow. Politicians are corrupt (duh). Big fossil fuel corporations are even corrupter (double-duh). And protests are pointless, right? So what do we do? Are we doomed unless we all give up our jobs and get into politics? ![teen holding up a poster saying "be a part of the solution, not part of the pollution"](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/09/image-10.png) Photos by Callum Shaw The good news is, no. There's good research showing that protests and ongoing community organising can be very effective (just look at the profound work Black Lives Matter is doing right now). We don't need everyone to do this, either. Just **3.5% of the population** actively campaigning is probably enough. I didn't just pull that number out my bum, by the way. It's based on research by a political scientist called Erica Chenoweth, [who analysed hundreds of civil resistance campaigns against dictators](https://rationalinsurgent.com/2013/11/04/my-talk-at-tedxboulder-civil-resistance-and-the-3-5-rule/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to understand how likely they were to succeed. She discovered two things: 1. No campaign failed once they'd achieved **the active and sustained participation of just 3.5% of the population** (and lots succeeded with less than that), and 2. **Nonviolent campaigns were twice as likely to succeed** as violent ones. ![Cover of the book, This is an Uprising by Mark Engler and Paul Engler](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/09/image-11.png) My friend Carla Lever sent me this extract from a book called *[This is an Uprising](http://thisisanuprising.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* by Mark Engler and Paul Engler, and it's been rattling around in my brain: > In Serbia, \[an authoritarian regime\], it took social forces pushing from outside the country's oppressive power structure to generate change... But in democratic countries with representative institutions, the conventional wisdom is that the process of altering the status quo looks very different. It means working through officials in high office. It requires prolonged and often painstaking back-room negotiations between various interest groups. And when reforms are achieved, they are never so stark or dramatic as a dictator's fall. > Or are they? > As it turns out, this accepted vision of how political change occurs has serious flaws. At best, it presents an incomplete picture of how progress in our society is won. At worst, it is a wrong-headed story that stubbornly conceals the way in which many of the most significant gains of the past century have been secured, from women's suffrage, to labor laws, to civil rights. It misses how people with few material resources and little access to conventional powerbrokers have sometimes been able to bring about transformations that mainstream politicians consider to be absurd and impractical – right up until the moment when these changes become common sense. Change feels slow, until suddenly it's not. A good example of this is the fight for same-sex marriage in America. In 1990, a public poll found that 3/4 of Americans saw gay sex as immoral. 25 years later, the Supreme Court made same-sex marriage legal in all 50 states, after 36 states had already enacted it, often through elected officials or *the popular vote.* Decades of incremental change, and then, suddenly, the floodgates open, and the power balance shifts, and it becomes more costly for politicians and businesses to alienate the people pushing for change than the people holding onto the old ways. The **politics** **follows the people**, and we are not as powerless as we are lead to believe. Another political scientist, Gene Sharp: > Obedience is at the heart of political power. Rulers or other command systems, despite appearances, \[are\] dependent on the population’s goodwill, decisions, and support. Look, we **don't have 25 years.** And 3.5% of the population is a lot of people. In both SA and the UK, it's about 2-million people. But it's not *everyone.* You don't have to convince every corrupt banker and business leader and politician. And a lot of people are there already - everyone under the age of 20, for instance :) You just need to convince 3.5% of *regular people*. And we 3.5%, *we need to care a lot.* ![People protesting, one woman holding a sign saying granny's for future](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/09/image-12.png) Grannys for Future! From Fridays for Future in Bonn, Germany. Photo by Mika Baumeister. Here's what active and sustained nonviolent participation looks like: participating in a strike. Attending a protest. Showing up for a community meeting. Persuading your friends, family, workplace, community (or newsletter readers) to care about the issue. Participating in acts of civil disobedience, like [Gandhi walking across India making salt](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salt%5FMarch?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (illegally), or [black South Africans showing up at an Apartheid police station without their passbooks](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sharpeville%5Fmassacre?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), or [XR protesters standing naked in front of your city's most famous tourist attraction](https://www.cambridgeindependent.co.uk/news/in-pictures-extinction-rebellion-cambridge-holds-naked-protest-on-lawn-of-king-s-college-9119763/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It means caring. Learning more about the issue, and what it means in your own community. Refusing to feel hopeless, and holding on to the ways in which responding to the climate emergency is just one thread in the story about the better future we *have* to build: one with more jobs, an inclusive economy, social justice, reformed land rights, healthier communities. One where we don't lurch forever from one natural disaster to the next. A place to start? How about picking **one climate justice group**, and joining their mailing list? [Extinction Rebellion](https://rebellion.global/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) has chapters all around the world, or you could look for a more hyper-local organisation that aligns with your values, like the [New Eskom](https://www.new-eskom.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) group in SA. It might feel like this doesn't matter, and it's all too big and the system is too hard to change, and there's no point in trying. But that's what they want you to think. And what if they're wrong? Anyway, learning about that 3.5% number made me feel more hopeful, and clearer about what we have to do. I hope it's helpful for some of you too. Wishing you hemp shirts and hope, Your buddy Sam --- ### Looking for a good bank account for savings pockets? In last week's post, we chatted about [whether you should split up your savings](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/savings-pockets/) into separate pockets or lump everything together. Approximately 27-million of you emailed me back to tell me that if you **are** somebody who likes to divide your savings, the [TymeBank Goalsave](https://www.tymebank.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) feature is the best solution in South Africa. Here's from our reader Nick: > Just a note on the SA banking comments - would recommend looking at TymeBank’s Goalsave offering. The current account Everyday Account is free and allows you to open up to ten linked savings pockets - also free. The interest rate on the pocket increases the longer it is open regardless of the amount. Pockets can be labeled whatever makes sense to you. Pockets then work like piggy banks - can add whatever you want but withdrawal entails breaking the specific pocket and ‘repatriating’ the funds into the Everyday account for use. No notice required to break a piggy bank and a bonus if you give 10 days notice. Interest rates probably best in the market.Very easy to use and a great option for Solution 1 aficionados. I had a TymeBank account for a while, and I liked it a lot! If you're a savings-splitter rather than a savings-lumper, do check them out. Do be aware that they have a limit about how much you can have in your accounts, though, which means they might not be appropriate for people sitting on a lot of cash/dragons. --- ### Looking for a good global ethical ETF in SA? One other nifty product I want to tell you about, Saffers: [Satrix just launched two new low-cost global ETFs specifically for sustainable investing](https://satrix.co.za/news/article?name=Sustainable%5Finvesting%5Fmatters&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- the MSCI World ESG Enhanced & the MSCI Emerging Markets ESG Enhanced funds. "ESG" stands for "Environmental, Social and Governance". They're the global ethical funds of your dreams, friends! And they're both available through [EasyEquities](https://www.easyequities.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). I am not on the payroll of Satrix or EasyEquities, I promise! I just legit like them both, and products like this are a great reminder of why. --- ### Updates from Sam-Land My little holiday in Cornwall was a damn *dream*, friends. And boy did I need it. You know when you've got too many tabs open? I had too many tabs open, but in my brain. I am feeling REFRESHED and ready to hunker down for the rest of the year. - I did the cutest ever interview with Bruce Whitfield on Monday night where he got his 11-year-old kid to review my teen book. [Take a listen.](https://www.702.co.za/articles/396207/brilliant-the-jokes-are-actually-funny-bruce-whitfield-s-son-11-reviews-money-book-aimed-at-teens?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - I'm back on 702/Cape Talk this Thursday just after 2pm talking to Pippa Hudson. It would be great to know some friendly ears are listening in! - Do you need a new podcast? I recently loved the New York Times' 8-part series about what the internet is doing to our brains, called [Rabbit Hole](https://www.nytimes.com/column/rabbit-hole?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - Apart from promoting the teen book and working on the climate change thing, I've got a few other projects brewing, but I'll tell you more about them soon! (MYSTERIOUS WINK) Stay safe! ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/09/image-8.png) ### Should you split up your savings? URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/savings-pockets/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:42:55.000Z Today we're taking a question from one of our readers who wants advice about whether to split up his savings. > So I read your book last year and have been following the step by step guides. I have gotten rid of all my debt, got a small emergency fund going and got an RA and TFSA. My question is with regards to short term savings accounts. > When saving for the short term, do you put all of the money in one account or multiple accounts? For example, say I want to save for council fees, car maintenance, new Nike running shoes, and a new iPad. If I put them all in one account, my monkey brain sees a big number and is like, cool what can I buy, or I have no idea how much I saved for the new Nikes. > Also, holiday savings. So I'd like to go on multiple local trips a year as well as an overseas trip every few years. Would you separate each holiday (local holidays) into different accounts or just one big one? Dear reader, your seemingly simple question is actually scratching at one of the deepest and most perplexing questions in behavioural economics! What you're talking about, the question of how much you should "divvy up" your money into different accounts for different purposes, is something researchers call **mental accounting.** [Richard Thaler](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard%5FThaler?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is the dude who pioneered research into this phenomenon, and he won a Nobel Prize for it (and his insights into behavioural economics more generally), which just gives you an indication of HOW DEEP THIS RABBIT HOLE TRULY GOES, my friend. Mental accounting is the technical term for how we think of different pots of money differently. Three common ways we do this: 1. **You treat money differently based on its source**. Money you got as a bonus or a gift or tax rebate is money you're more likely to spend on something fun, and less likely to save. 2. **You treat money differently based on its "type"**. It's harder to cash in savings than it is to spend money on a credit card, even though buying something on a credit card makes it more expensive (if you can't pay it back before it starts accruing interest). 3. **You treat money differently if you've earmarked it for a purpose**. We do this when we mentally (or physically) earmark money for saving, bills, retirement, holidays etc. The thing about dividing money up like this is *it isn't true*. Money is fungible - which means that a pound is a pound is a pound. In reality, you could always change your mind and decide to spend that earmarked money for something different. But we often don't: once we've mentally allocated money in this way, it's really hard for us to un-allocate it. Now, **mental accounting is neither good nor bad**, it's just a thing that humans do. Sometimes, it can lead people to make really bad decisions, like when they *should* be using savings to pay off high-interest debt but don't, or when we spend tax rebates on nonsense because it feels like "free" money. But mental accounting can also be a **tool** that you use to help you reach your goals, like when you give yourself pocket money in a Fuckaround Fund so that you don't accidentally spend all of your savings on Lego sets and box wine (it's been a long lockdown, okay). So, back to the specifics of your question. Really, there are three different approaches to saving up for all these lovely things that you want: 1. **Actually open up different savings accounts for each goal.** In South Africa, this gets expensive and becomes a hassle as soon as you go beyond 4 accounts. In the UK, the new banks like Monzo/Starling let you open up little savings pockets in the app (SA friends, UK banking is A DREAM, I can't even explain). 2. **Just lump everything into one big savings account** that you call POSSIBILITY MONEY or POTENTIAL PILE OF FUN SHIT or whatever, and just spend out of it whenever you feel like it. 3. Some mix of 1 and 2 where you keep the actual cash in a big pile, but also **keep a wishlist** where you track what money is virtually spoken for. Here, you can [copy the one I made for the Teens' Money Mission Control Google Sheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Vm12VTofP7RN5HWJNvW4TVu6EV7EZArvujdjRPltWh0/edit?usp=sharing&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which tells you when you can afford the next priority on your wish list. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/09/image-4.png) My first car was a 1974 Beetle that only had 2 working gears and a top speed of 40km/h, so I swear that R30k target isn't *totally* unreasonable. Now, some types of people are extremely motivated by route 1 (saving towards very specific goals). This is a way that mental accounting can be used as a **tool**: it might be much easier to convince yourself to stash money away by feeling like you're actually pre-purchasing a little chunk of something you really really want, than by just saving for the sake of it. If saving like this helps you to save more overall, go for it. Having a shared family saving goal that you track on the fridge can be a great way to engage kids about money, for example. Personally, I dislike mental accounting and generally try to resist it. Here's why: **I don't like being held hostage by my past self.** You've got to understand, Past Sam is an IDIOT. She made a number of extremely questionable life choices and ate way too many greasy chip rolls and did NOT apply enough sunscreen in her 20s, and basically left me to clean up her entire mess... what an asshole. Past Sam wanted a lot of things from her life that I do NOT want. Past Sam once nearly bought tickets to a boat rave in Ibiza. Present Sam likes to be in bed by 10pm on a Saturday. Here's the balance you must hold onto, though: **it turns out that Present You is also kind of an idiot.** Yes, don't get too cocky there, Present You! Because most of us are actually pretty rubbish at guessing what spending decisions will make us happy. We forget all the time what actually matters to us, and it's helpful to have a way to remind yourself. **Present Me?** Here's a confession: she is absolutely convinced that the one item that will COMPLETE HER and solve every sartorial problem for the rest of her life is a black velvet tuxedo jacket. She's been drooling over photos of them for, like, all of the past two days. Except, last week she was drooling over these cat shorts from [Disturbia](https://www.disturbia.co.uk/products/womens-bottoms/felis-shorts?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). And the week before that she was fully committed to buy some chunky 80s jewellery from eBay. And that's why I think **option 3 is the way**. It's a balance between not being held hostage by Past You (an idiot), while also not being a slave to the every immediate impulse of Present You (also, it turns out, an idiot). It's a way to help that magical being - the Best Version of You - take the wheel, more of the time. Here's what that looks like for me: I keep a tab on my Money Dashboard that is the **Things Sam Wants** list. Every time I'm browsing Instagram and see a new thing that lights up the covetous bits of my lizard brain, I add it to that list. It's how I interrupt my impulse shopping: instead of "Add to Cart", "I Add to List". My **Things Sam Wants** list is sorted by category: experiences, adventures, learning opportunities and holidays are at the top, hobby-type things and books come next, and clothes and house stuff is at the bottom. This is a helpful reminder to myself that the things at the top of the list usually make me much happier than the things near the bottom of the list. Because, believe it or not, *Present Sam forgets this all the damn time*. This list is the way that the Best Version of Me reminds her of what actually matters. This list is the reason I'm unlikely to ever get around to buying that velvet tuxedo jacket. And good thing too, because I'll no doubt be onto some new obsession by Friday. Then, instead of keeping a R I G I D S Y S T E M with a bunch of different savings accounts open with specific savings targets, I just have one single pile of cash. This is my Emergency Fund and also my Splurge Fund, in one - a **Slush Fund,** if you will. Instead of a clear budget of pre-allocated money, I make sure that fund's value always fluctuates within a range (let's say the rule is, "my slush fund can never be less than R60k or more than R120k" for example). The floor of that range is my true "Oh Shit" budget, and I never spend out of it unless it's a true emergency. But your Slush Fund also needs a lid, because at some point you should rather be investing money than keeping it in cash. When my Slush Fund gets too big, that's a reminder to me that I need to go back to the Things Sam Wants list and actually spend some of that cash, probably on something near the TOP of that list (like a holiday). Because NOT spending your savings ever is just another way that mental accounting is defeating you. And of course, the real beauty of this system is that we're talking here about how to optimise your spending on *fun shit like Nike shoes and holidays*. You've told me that you've already taken care of the actually important stuff, like making sure you've hidden your retirement savings from yourself, which is one way that using mental accounting as a **tool** is extremely helpful. If you knew you needed to send your kid to university in 2 years, for example, a separate savings fund for this would probably be a good idea, too. Really, once you're at the point where you're maximising how you save for fun stuff, *you're okay. Stop worrying.* Wishing you velvet tuxedo jackets, kiff Nikes and flying sharks, Your friend Sam --- ### Updates from Sam-Land Speaking of actual holidays, this week's post was sneakily pre-scheduled because I'm currently in Cornwall, *sans-*laptop. Google Images says that Cornwall looks like this: ![A beach in Cornwall](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/09/image-7.png) I am stoked. This has been a long, long, long, *loooooooong* year, chaps, and I'm excited to switch off for a bit. I'm planning to read books, eat food, go for walks, and do a lot of puzzles (and attend exactly zero boat raves). I hope you're enjoying the start of spring or autumn, wherever you are :) ### It's book launch week! AAAAAH! 😱🥂🥳 URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/its-book-launch-week/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:42:47.000Z Hello, grownups Buddies, in normal times, this is about when I would be sending you invites to ask you to join me at a poncy book launch so we could drink wine together and celebrate the release of my new book baby. And only some of you would be able to be there, because many of you wouldn't be in the same city/free that night/into free wine and snacks, for some reason. But one of the few upsides of 2020 is that there are no boundaries any more, so you can ALL come join me at my virtual book launch party event. It's happening right now, everywhere, and all the snacks are free (in the sense that you bought them already and they're in your own kitchen). So here I am, toasting you (with tea, it's 11am after all), saying a **huge enormous thank you**, a thank you as big as the planet. Your support is why this book exists. Your support is what got me up in the morning and convinced me to write things and helped me believe that writing can actually be a job. Your support is the WIND BENEATH MY DAMN WINGS and I am so hecking grateful for it, every day. ![Sam Beckbessinger holding up a mug of tea to the camera](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/09/IMG_20200901_112343.jpg) Cheers to you! *[Manage Your Money Like a Grownup](https://manageyourmoneylikeagrownup.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, the fully "mouth-washed-out-with-soap" version of my money book, is now available at your favourite bookstore. It's aimed at 11-15 year olds but I hope some younger kids and some playful adults love it too. The brilliant Angela Briggs helped me to write it, [Nanna Venter](https://www.nannaventer.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) created a stack of brand new illustrations to bring it to life, and my wonderful publishers [Jonathan Ball](http://www.jonathanball.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) are the reason it exists. It's full of fun facts and fart jokes, because it turns out that I have the same sense of humour as a 12-year-old boy. In the tradition of book launch Q&As, here's me [chatting to Diana Granoux](https://honestmoney.co.za/2020/09/01/teaching-teens-about-money/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about why talking honestly to teens about money is so important, creating a thoughtful money culture in your home, and encouraging teens to start small businesses. And, JUST FOR YOU, I've included the whole first chapter for you below. One of the very weird things about launching this book from the opposite side of the world is that I have yet to actually hold a copy in my hands 😭 So if you spot a book, please please send me a snap! Thanks for coming to my virtual book launch, buddies. I'm so glad and grateful that you're here. Wishing you celebratory wine, tea, or your beverage of choice, Sam ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/09/EB-Midlands.jpeg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/09/EB-Woodlands--1-.jpeg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/09/Bunting-EB-Woodlands.jpeg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/09/photo_2020-09-01_11-49-51.jpg) Manage Your Money Like a Grownup, spotted out in the wild (AKA shrines to Digby) --- ## Chapter 1: This Book is For You ### YOUR DREAMS MATTER This book is about freedom. Yes, yes, I know it says on the cover that it’s about money, but that’s just a decoy to bamboozle the adults. (Did it work? In my experience, adults are EASILY BAMBOOZLED.) Really, what I want to talk to you about is how to live the life you actually want to live, not the life that the world wants to force you into. I bet you have some big dreams for your life. Maybe something like one of these? - Skateboarding, snowboarding and surfing your way through the wildest wild places on earth - Making art, or music, or movies that people talk about for years - Saving the world through work or activism that improves the fate of people, animals and the planet - Buying a parent/guardian the house they’ve always wanted, so they can live in the comfort they deserve - Becoming a sports star or athlete at the top of their game - Having a huge circle of friends who go on adventures together all around the world - Being a celebrity Twitch streamer or YouTuber who gets to share their obsessions with their fans - Having a big family and lots of time to spend with them - Inventing something or starting a company that solves one of the world’s big problems - Becoming a master chef and wowing the world with your delicious creations - Studying all sorts of different things that interest you - Living a humble life in nature without stress or worry. Now let me ask you a question: how many of the adults you know seem to be living the lives that they dreamt of when they were your age? Or rather, how many of them seem to hate their jobs? Have you ever thought about why that happens: why so many kids with big dreams grow up into adults who feel trapped? The reality is, anything you want to do with your life costs money. It costs money to support the people you love. It costs money to have enough free time to practise the sport or art you love until you get good at it. It costs money to start a business or go on adventures or buy an instrument. It also costs money to do more basic things like buy food to stay alive! If you don’t work out how to control your money, you end up spending your whole adult life just trying to make money and never actually enjoying the life you are living. Money ends up controlling you. Have you ever started dreaming about what you want your life to look like, only to find yourself feeling a bit unsure about it all? Your dreams are just great – you start feeling yourself rise and rise like you are on a hot air balloon ride over a game park, drifting into the sunset – BUT then when you think about how to make this all happen, you’re suddenly back on Earth (with a bump)? This book’s about how to keep the gas turned on, and the hot air balloon rising. The better you understand how money works, the more you can use it as a tool to get the life you really want. When you’re not in control of money, any money that comes into your life leaves it very quickly, which means that you have to spend a lot of time thinking about how to earn more of it, every day. The funny thing is that the best way to NOT have to think about money a lot is to understand it very well. Understanding money means you don’t have to stress about it, so you can rather think about more fun things. (Like, if you invented time travel and went back 200 years, how would you convince them that you ARE from the future without getting burned as a witch?) So, this book is for you, even if you don’t care about getting rich. This book is about how to better your chances of living the life YOU want to live, rather than just having to do any job that will pay you money. This book is for you if you’ve ever worried that there might be a bit of a gap between your future dreams and being ‘practical’. And, if you’ve decided not to think about money/growing up/ saving because it all looks a bit boring, and you’d rather be having fun, this book is for you too. Because really, this isn’t a book about money at all. It’s a book about freedom. > Have a chat with your parents or guardians about their jobs. What did they dream of becoming when they grew up? What do they like about their jobs now? What don’t they like? How did they end up doing what they do? ### OH, HELLO! But wait! How rude of me. Let me introduce myself: my name’s Sam. And this is my cat, Digby. Digby doesn’t know much about money because he pays rent in furballs. But he’s cute, anyway, so I told him he could help write this book. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/09/1.1.jpg) This illustration, and all the others in the book, were created by the inimitable Nanna Venter When I was a kid, the thing I really wanted to do with my life was write books, because I love books more than anything (okay fine, except Digby). But there was just one problem: I had no idea how to go about actually doing that! Writing books isn’t a job that someone will give you and pay you a salary to do. And I was REALLY BAD at managing money (but very good at spending it) so I ended up spending my 20s doing a bunch of really weird jobs, including dressing up like the Easter Bunny, handing out pamphlets at robots and writing letters on behalf of Ronald McDonald (no, really). Eventually I realised that no one was going to give me the job I wanted, so I was going to have to invent it for myself – which meant figuring out how money works. So, I went and learnt everything I could learn about money. I even got myself a job in the finance industry so that I could learn about it from the inside. And I learnt a SHOCKING SECRET . . . dun dun duuuuun . . . money is actually really easy to understand! I was really irritated when I learnt this, because I thought, *Why did no one teach me how money works when I was young, so that I could be much further ahead by now?* Because it really IS simple. You’ll see. Ever since then I’ve made it my mission to share this secret with everyone I know. My friends started avoiding me because I just wanted to tell them about money all the time. So that’s why I’m turning to you, a fresh new audience to pelt with money facts! Only joking. Seriously. But also, I wrote this book because I want you to get a head start and not have to spend your 20s pretending to be a fast-food mascot like I did. I wrote this book especially for kids up to about 14, because if you’re older than that you can probably just read the other book I wrote for adults (it has much more swearing in it, sorry! I need my mouth washed out with soap). But if you’re reading this at 18 or 48, no problem. I read kids’ books too! (John Green is pretty much my favourite writer and I will FIGHT anyone who says a bad thing about him.) Just enjoy. You’ll be able to skip some of the chapters when you DO read my other book. Or maybe you’re one of those really precocious six- year-olds like the ones from *MasterChef*, in which case, hello to you too! Whoever you are, I’m really glad you’re here. And I hope we can be friends. ### TOO YOUNG? SAYS WhO?! This book gives you the nuts-and-bolts low-down on one of the things that dominates most people’s lives: money. Because believe me, it can dominate lives, no matter what kind of family you’re from. Maybe your family seems to have a lot of it, and there’s no stress and it seems like there’s a solid plan. Maybe your family struggles a bit, but holds it together. Maybe it seems like quite a big problem, one you’d rather not know anything about. Just another one of those adult problems that seems a lifetime away. Right? Wrong. You know you’re young. I know you’re young. But I promise you, this is stuff you want to know now. Here’s why. **a) Good habits** The ideas and habits that you pick up at this stage in your life will shape you forever. Sure, you’re probably not going to earn HUGE amounts of cash in your teen years (unless you’re a kid celebrity or something), but it’s still the best time to learn how to earn, spend and save money well. The good habits you need to manage a R100 birthday present today are the same habits that you’ll need one day to manage the R1 million you’ll earn one day. (Probably even more than R1 million, actually. We’ll get to that in a minute.) It’s like practising any sport or spending time on any passion – the hours you put in now will lay the foundation for success later. It’s like how people who grow up to be amazing athletes or artists start training when they’re young. Serena Williams, the best tennis player in the world, started training when she was three years old. She said: > When I was a kid I trained really, really, really hard. And I think that’s so important for kids out there that want to grow up and be the best. Ask any professional player. You train really hard. You train for hours. I remember in the summer, we would train from, I think it was from like 9:00 to 11:00 and then 1:00 to 6:00\. And then on Saturdays, we would train from 9:00 to 12:00\. And then we would have Sundays off. So we trained a lot. We practiced hours and hours and hours. And obviously when you get older, you don’t practice as much, but you’re building a really strong foundation when you’re younger so you can have a solid foundation that doesn’t shake when you get old. **b) The best time to make mistakes** In Chapter 6 we’ll be looking at how developing your entrepreneurial skills (aka your side-hustle) can bring you in some extra cash. One of the key things entrepreneurs say about starting a business as a kid is that it gives you the chance to make lots of mistakes while you still have the safety net of your home and family looking after you and supporting you (and you don’t have to worry about buying food for your idiot cat). It’s an idea you can apply to all of this money information – that the best time to start learning is now – because the best learning often happens when you make mistakes. And NOW is the time to make mistakes, my friends! **c) Your chance to prove everyone wrong** Some people say kids are pretty bad at understanding the value of delayed gratification. In other words, put a marshmallow in front of a child (or a 33-year-old woman named Sam), and tell them that, if they can resist eating the marshmallow for ten minutes, they can have two marshmallows. The general consensus is: many of those children or Sams would eat the marshmallow now, because one marshmallow now is worth twice as much as a hypothetical future marsh- mallow (you can watch videos of this experiment on YouTube, if you like watching kids give in to temptation). This is where you need to prove everyone wrong. ‘Delaying gratification’ is something you’re going to have to learn to do. But it’s going to be easy for you. Because you’re going to LOVE saving those marshmallows, and watching them grow into more marshmallow babies. Promise. **d) Money loves time** Warren Buffet is the fourth richest person in the world (he has about $88 billion, and he’s working on giving 99% of it away to charity). He didn’t get rich by inventing something or robbing a bank, but because he was really good at investing money. Warren Buffet tells everyone that the most important trick to investing is patience, because of a magical thing called compound interest (which you’ll learn about in Chapter 3), so the best way to invest is to start as early as possible. He should know: he started investing when he was 11 years old. ### MONEY IS A RESPONSIBILITY The other reason that it’s really important to learn how to manage money is that you’re probably going to have to manage a LOT of it over your lifetime. We think of millionaires as being people who’ve really made it. But most of us will earn a lot more than a million rand over our lifetimes. If you start working at age 20 and you work until you’re 65, that means you’ll be working for 45 years. That’s nearly half a century! This means that, even if you don’t earn a very big salary, you’re still earning a lot of money over your whole lifetime. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/09/image.png) Looking after all that money is a lot of responsibility! There’s so much you could do with it. You could use it to make life better for yourself, the people you love and the world around you. That money could be happiness fuel. But if you don’t learn how to manage it well, that money won’t make ANYONE happy, and wouldn’t that be a waste? ### WHAT THIS BOOK WILL COVER This book is broken up into three parts: understanding money, making money and managing money. The sooner you start to figure out how money and you fit together in this world, the sooner you’ll be able to feel comfortable about a whole lot of things that go along with money. So, **Part 1** is a crash course about how money works. We’ll cover: - **In Chapter 2:** Why different families have such different experiences with money, and why your folks might have more or less money to spend on you than your friends’ folks. - **In Chapter 3:** How people get wealthy. We’ll spend a lot of time in this chapter talking about the weirdest and most magical thing money does (compound interest). - **In Chapter 4:** Understanding the systems that make some people poor, and thinking about where you fit into the bigger picture. You can’t practise managing money until you’ve got some, so **Part 2** is all about making that dough. We’ll talk about: - **In Chapter 5:** The pros and cons of getting an allowance, and how to understand your folks’ reasons for giving you the amount of money that they do. - **In Chapter 6:** What you can do to make yourself more money, including learning how to be a CRIMINAL MASTERMIND/genius kid entrepreneur. - **In Chapter 7:** How to start thinking about the type of career you want to have one day. In **Part 3,** we get practical and talk about the basics of spending and saving. We’ll cover: - **In Chapter 8:** Setting up a system that directs your money to where you want it to go. - **In Chapter 9:** Saving for the things you REALLY want (maybe a Switch? iPad? Robot giraffe?) and how to start investing. - In **Chapter 10:** Outwitting advertisers and being a savvier spender. How to avoid that feeling you get after spending your allowance on the perfect pair of jeans (the jeans that don’t seem so perfect any more once you get home). - In **Chapter 11:** Using your money as a force for good in the world, including giving to charity and being an ethical consumer. There’s a website that goes along with this book, at [manageyourmoneylikeagrownup.com](https://manageyourmoneylikeagrownup.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). On it, you’ll find tools, tips and useful things to download (plus, you can see what Digby looks like in real life). ### IN SUMMARY! - Understanding how money works is one of the best ways you can make sure you live the life YOU really want to live. - We all pick up beliefs about money from our families and friends. But sometimes these beliefs aren’t true, or aren’t helpful for us. - It’s not too young to start earning, saving and investing your money. In fact, now’s the best time to learn good habits and take big risks. You ready? Let’s go! ### What marshmallows can teach you about the limits of knowledge URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/marshmallows-and-the-limits-of-knowledge/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:43:04.000Z I've been thinking a lot about the marshmallow test, recently. You know, that thing where they put a marshmallow in front of a child, and tell them that they can either eat the marshmallow now or have TWO marshmallows if they can wait 15 minutes. It's supposed to be a way to test self-control, and common wisdom is that kids who can "win" the marshmallow test by waiting 15 minutes will go on to lead far more successful lives as reliable students/responsible savers/productive employees/all-around trustworthy people/Professional Marshmallow Resistors. Here, watch some kids trying to resist eating the marshmallow. It's HILARIOUS. Honestly if you tried this with me and a bowl of Pringles I would fail the test in 5 seconds. So - here's the interesting thing about the marshmallow test: it's a handy metaphor, but it's also entirely untrue. The original marshmallow test was developed in the 1960s, with studies published in the 90s showing that the kids who could wait for the second marshmallow went on to obtain much better school and university results. The marshmallow test became common wisdom. And common wisdom with a pretty dark subtext: if you're an impulsive kid, you're probably just doomed to being a massive failure all your life, oh well, *soz for you*. And then, a couple of years ago, a group of scientists tried to recreate the marshmallow test, and WHOOPS, THE WHOLE SHAKY EDIFICE OF LIES CAME CRASHING DOWN, my friends. When they looked into the original experiment, they found two pretty huge flaws in how it had been designed: 1. The experiment had been run on fewer than 100 kids. 2. All of those kids were from exactly the same (rich, white, American) background. So they replicated the experiment, except properly this time, and hey, two fun facts emerge: 1. Actually whether you can resist a marshmallow for an extra minute when you're four years old *doesn't* accurately predict achievement across your whole damn life, because OH HEY WHO KNEW humans are dynamic and complicated and change and grow over their lifetimes. 2. Most of the variation in whether kids can wait for the second marshmallow or not **comes down to the family background and home environment**. In other words, it's easier for rich/privileged kids to wait for a second marshmallow. And *that* was actually the factor that had most of the influence over their ultimate life outcomes, rather than some inherent trait like "grit" or "impulse control". [Revisiting the Marshmallow Test: A Conceptual Replication Investigating Links Between Early Delay of Gratification and Later Outcomes - Tyler W. Watts, Greg J. Duncan, Haonan Quan, 2018We replicated and extended Shoda, Mischel, and Peake’s (1990) famous marshmallow study, which showed strong bivariate correlations between a child’s ability to ...![](https://journals.sagepub.com/pb-assets/Icons/sj-apple-touch-1513073710420.png)SAGE JournalsTyler W. Watts, Greg J. Duncan, Haonan Quan![](https://journals.sagepub.com/pb-assets/cover-alt/pss-cover-social-1565280539740.jpg)](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0956797618761661?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) It's that second fact that really tickles me. Because I'm somebody who talks to people about money for a living, including, yes, explaining to people that saving/investing your marshmallows can be much more beneficial in the long run than eating them all now. But the thing that the marshmallow test reminds us is how much **knowledge is contextual**. Most of the kids in the experiment who were eating the marshmallow, instead of waiting, were behaving *reasonably* and *in line with their experience of how the world works*. If everything you've experienced about your first four years on the planet indicates that there probably WON'T be any future marshmallows, then of COURSE you're going to eat the one in front of you, right now. That's what your life experiences up until that point have taught you to do. We think of knowledge as stable, objective. Rules carved into stone tablets. And sure, some of it is. Hydrogen Peroxide and Potassium Iodide react the same way (awesomely) no matter who you are and where you come from. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/08/h202.gif) Hydrogen Peroxide + Potassium Iodide = A FUN TIME (don't try this at home) But a lot of the rules you know aren't carved in stone. They're more like rules in a game you're playing with a bunch of other people, that rely on the other players continuing to play by the same rules as you are. **Social knowledge** is mostly contextual. What you believe about the right way to behave is so dependent on your life experiences. And people's life experiences are remarkably diverse. And it turns out that **the rules of money are much more like social knowledge** than like the rules in chemistry. In the world of personal finance, when I encourage people to save and invest their money, there are 100 assumptions that underpin this advice. I assume that you live in a world where the economy is fairly stable and the value of investments or savings accounts are likely to increase over time. I'm also assuming that saving money in the first place is even possible for you, that investments are safe and banks won't steal your money. And the inconvenient truth is that *this isn't always true for everybody, everywhere, at all times.* I have friends from Zimbabwe who saw their investments become worthless because of hyperinflation. Savers in [Lebanon](https://www.vox.com/2020/8/5/21355584/lebanon-beirut-explosion-economic-crisis?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) are going through this right now. What advice would I have for people in those situations? I have no idea. There are contexts where all of the normal advice collapses. Times of crisis where trying to follow the rules of the old world will only make things worse for you. There's [a whole line of research](https://behavioralscientist.org/understanding-social-class-as-culture/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) into how people from different social classes develop different cultures. We develop different perspectives on a bunch of things, from our attitude to work (a way to put bread on the table, your entire identity, how success is measured, an optional inconvenience that's a bit gauche to talk about really) to how important we think it is that young people move out of the family home in their early 20s (a crucial milestone, unlikely, it would be an antisocial and weird thing to do). None of these ideas are inherently right or wrong. They are ideas that make sense *in their context.* ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/08/image-1.png) This is from work by Barbara Jensen, who only does research in the U.S., so it doesn't map perfectly onto class structures in the rest of the world. Take it with a pinch of salt. Part of why I'm so fascinated by money is because I grew up moving between social classes. My parents were the first ones in their families who made it out of the working class into the middle class, but only *just*. We could afford to buy a house and car and medical aid, but we were always exactly one financial disaster away from losing it all. A lot of our lifestyle was funded by credit card debt and my parents had no tertiary education and woefully insufficient retirement savings. Economists call this the "vulnerable middle class" as distinct from the "stable/professional middle class". But my nuclear family had much more than the rest of my extended family, who were solidly working class, lived on state pensions and went to public hospitals. My parents were fiercely proud and believed there was deep shame in having financial troubles, as opposed to my wider family who lived in porous multigenerational households and had much stronger expectations of helping each other out in tough times. They were living in worlds that had different rules. And then, in high school, I got a scholarship, and started going to school with richkids, and learned about the existence of things like "family trusts" and "share portfolios" and "holiday homes" (some families just own A WHOLE OTHER SPARE HOUSE, my dudes, I kid you not). Rich kids have entirely different rules and expectations for their lives. Of course they do; it's rational for them to do so. And you can't, I'm afraid, become rich just by following their rules, because they only work in the context they come from. Take - for instance - how totally relaxed my rich (white) friends were about breaking the law in harmless ways (pot, bunking school, trespassing), because it was entirely implausible to them that there would be any terrible consequences for them if they were caught. Unfortunately, acting with that same level of entitlement if you're not actually rich and privileged is just dangerous. I am someone who *talks to people about money for a living*, and even I don't talk about this enough: so much financial advice is contextual and classist. One of the things I say often is that everyone should have an emergency fund. But even this is a piece of **contextual advice.** Most working class people don't have an emergency fund, but they have a family who will support them if they need it. Why is that necessarily worse than having a pile of money sitting in the bank? Maybe it's more accurate to say that everyone needs to have emergency *resources*, but this can be a mix of things: strong family ties, a family home you can move back to if you need to, a family business that can employ you if you lose your job, cash, burial societies, insurance, a line of credit, AND whatever else you need to get through tough times. **The money culture that you grew up in will shape you throughout your life.** Sometimes, growth means recognising when you're still trying to play by rules that don't apply to your life any more. Rules that once served you, that no longer do. I'm grateful for all the times in my life that I've been confronted with how little I actually know about anything. How the world is so much bigger and stranger and more interesting than I know. How, as soon as you step into a new *context*, the rules change. It's part of what's been extremely fun about being in a whole new country: I'm suddenly an *idiot*. I'm blundering around in the world like an alien trying to pilot a human-suit for the first time. *Small children* know more than me about how to do ordinary things like use the self-service checkout machine (it's a bleeping devil robot and I do not trust it). I went from feeling like somebody who's Mostly Got Her Shit Figured Out to somebody who can't remember her own phone number or understand old people when they talk. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/08/hotfuzz.gif) Old people in Britain do not believe in consonants, apparently. It's all just "oo aay iii oh. Ah eee oo aay." It's terrifying! It's exhilarating! It's an opportunity to take all of the things I think I understand about how the world is and reconsider them, to rebuild my own sense of the rules that define and confine my world. I hope that whatever you're going through right now, it's a chance to let go of rules you don't need any more. Wishing you infinity marshmallows, Your friend Sam. --- ### Updates from Sam-Land I had the most lovely conversation with one of my favourite people in publishing, [@arthurattwell](https://twitter.com/arthurattwell?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), about marketing books and the power of creative collaboration. [And you can listen to our chat right here.](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/marketing-books-collaboration-and-creative-freedom/) ### Marketing books, collaboration, and creative freedom URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/marketing-books-collaboration-and-creative-freedom/ Last updated: 2020-08-20T04:17:41.000Z [Arthur Attwell](https://twitter.com/arthurattwell/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is one of my favourite people in publishing. He's behind projects like [Book Dash](https://bookdash.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (a project to create new African storybooks that anyone can freely translate and distribute) and [Electric Book Works](https://electricbookworks.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (a tech company that's reinventing publishing workflows). He's a poet, a great dad, and one of the kindest, most thoughtful people you'll ever meet. He's also the reason that I have a writing career at all - as you'll hear in the link! He's started a new podcast called [How Books are Made](https://howbooksaremade.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which is a deliciously nerdy deep-dive into the publishing industry. We had a really fun chat about how to market books, and the power of creative collaboration. You can listen to our chat [right here](https://howbooksaremade.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#marketing-collaboration-and-creative-freedom). A summary of the episode: > People who can build book brands and inspire fans are rare and amazing, even more so when they write their books, too. One of those people is Sam Beckbessinger, the bestselling author of Manage Your Money Like a F—ing Grownup, which is a book, a website, and a growing brand in several countries. She also writes for hugely popular kids’ TV shows, and was one of the writers on Serial Box and Marvel’s serialized novel Jessica Jones: Playing With Fire. She is irrepressibly joyful and optimistic, which is something we all need a dose of right now. Links from the show: - [Sam Beckbessinger’s website](https://sambeckbessinger.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Like a F—ing Grownup](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/) (contains explicit language) - [Jessica Jones on Serial Box](https://www.serialbox.com/serials/jessica-jones?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Hippo Wants to Dance](https://bookdash.org/books/hippo-wants-dance-megan-andrews-sam-beckbessinger-marisa-steyn/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Ulysses](https://ulysses.app/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) writing app - [Scrivener](https://www.literatureandlatte.com/scrivener/overview?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) writing app - [Dale Halvorsen, aka Joey Hifi](https://www.dalehalvorsen.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ### Getting teens interested in personal finance: a Q&A with Bargain Books URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/getting-teens-interested-in-personal-finance/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T10:26:42.000Z Hello, grownups! [*Manage Your Money Like a Grownup: Teen Edition*](https://manageyourmoneylikeagrownup.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) AKA "the mouth-washed-out-with-soap" version of my money book, drops in 2.5 weeks on 1 September. I am excited to get it out into the world and start CORRUPTING SOME YOUTHS 😈 I recently did a little Q&A with [Bargain Books](https://www.bargainbooks.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), talking about what it was like adapting the content for teens. \-- **Do you think there are particular financial issues that are unique to the current generation of teenagers?** Hoo boy, yes. In a few years, today’s teens are going to start their careers in a world that’s dizzyingly unequal, where levels of youth unemployment will likely still be high, and when the effects of climate change and technological disruption will be a wrecking ball dismantling previously stable industries. I don’t feel like this is all doom-and-gloom, though: it seems clear to me that the global economy has reached a breaking point, and we cannot go on as we have any more. I believe that this generation will usher in a time of profound change. That’s why it feels so important, when discussing money with them, to help them to really understand the fundamental principles, so that they can make sound decisions no matter how the future unfolds. I want to equip them with tools, rather than blueprints. **How easy was it to adapt this book for a younger audience? Is there much of a difference between your advice to adults and your advice to teens?** It was a fun challenge! It’s much harder to explain something simply than to explain something in detail, and it’s a real test of whether you *actually* understand a concept yourself. As research for this book, I asked 100 high schoolers what questions *they* had about money *(with help from one of our readers - thanks Valen!)*. Their questions were so profound: they wanted to know why some countries are richer than others, what inflation is, how the stock market functions, whether money can make you happy, and what money actually is. They were deep questions! Trying to answer them was very gratifying. The advice I give to young people and adults is similar, but I put a lot of work into trying to contextualise that advice so that it’s relevant to teens’ lives, so we talk about pocket money, teen-friendly side-hustles, relevant budgeting, student loans etc. **What do you think are the biggest barriers to getting teens interested in finance?** Many teens today are pretty disgusted by the whole financial system, with good reason. I completely understand the desire to stay away from it, but we need the opposite: we need young people to really engage with how the economy works so that we can all make it better. In the book, I try to balance talking about how we can succeed as individuals with an awareness of how we need to change the broader system to make it fairer. **Do you think that the unkind stereotype of the apathetic, irresponsible teenager is as widespread now as it might have been previously? If not, what’s changing?** I don’t think I’m alone in just being completely in awe of teens today. They’re so creative, connected, informed, passionate (and hilarious). There is a long history of youth activism in this country and today’s youngsters are a proud continuation of that tradition. Right now, they’re confronting a pandemic, a global economic crash, historically high levels of unemployment, and the teens I’ve met are doing so with bravery and resilience and a commitment to justice. I want to be like them when I grow up. **Is there one financial term that almost everybody seems to misunderstand?** Entrepreneurship. When most people think of entrepreneurs, they have quite a narrow idea of people who start high-growth tech companies. Entrepreneurship is much broader than that: it’s people who create their own jobs, and jobs for people around them. Artists, sportspeople, freelancers, inventors, innovators, activists, hustlers… all of them are entrepreneurs. MOST of today’s teens will need to be entrepreneurs of one kind or another. It’s crucial that they learn these skills as early as possible. **Does it seem to you that most of us consider investing to be an activity solely for the wealthy?** Definitely! But it’s not true. People from all across the economic spectrum are making investment decisions all the time: informal traders invest in stock to sell, families invest in expanding their homes to get extra rental income, everyone who saves into a pension is an investor. It’s crucial for all of us to understand how investing works and learn skills to get better returns on our investments. It’s also getting easier and easier for people to invest in financial products. You can buy shares for as little as R20 on an app, these days. The whole internet is full of ads promoting Bitcoin and forex trading, and there are almost no barriers to getting started. This is both a good and a bad thing: the accessibility is great, but access without financial education is very dangerous. **Were you inspired to start saving and managing your money as a teen? If so, how did that happen?** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I did not manage my money as a teen! Any money I had as a teen vanished the second I touched it. Unfortunately, this habit followed me well into my 20s, when I finally realised how much debt I’d racked up and turned my financial life around. I hope young people can learn from my mistakes so they can skip making some of their own. **Of the things you’d have had to research and expand upon for this book, does anything in particular stand out?** Our brains can’t really grasp the difference between big numbers: a billion rand doesn’t seem that different to a million rand. But think of it like this: - A million seconds is 12 days. - A billion seconds is 32 years. - A trillion seconds is 30 000 years. 30 000 years ago cavemen were just discovering this radical new technology called MAKING TOOLS OUT OF STONE. So yeah, when you hear that Jeff Bezos' net worth is $144-billion, know that it's a much bigger number than it sounds. **Have you ever received a piece of financial advice that really stuck with you?** You can do anything, but not everything. It really helped me when I started to see my money and my time as finite. You have to focus on what matters most to you and be thoughtful about putting your time and your money into those things, otherwise it’s very easy for both to vanish before your eyes on things you don’t care about. \-- [Look out for the book](https://manageyourmoneylikeagrownup.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) at your nearest bookstores from 1 September - it will be full of even more money insight, charming illustrations from [Nanna Venter](https://www.nannaventer.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and poop jokes. Wishing you entrepreneurial teens, resilience, and a lot of pocket money (even if you're 33 years old), Your friend Sam --- ### Updates from Sam-land My partner and I moved out from our temporary "finding-our-feet-in-Cambridge" place to a new (hopefully) long-term rental. The best thing about it is that it's a 2 minute walk from the river, which means I've been spending a lot of summer evenings like this: ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/08/cows-1.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/08/cows2.jpg) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/08/cows3.jpg) I also took a week off to rest and recharge (and do a lot of puzzles). I was feeling a bit burned-out, partly because of this pesky global pandemic thing, and also because of the looming book release. Releasing a book is always wonderful because it's like seeing your kid go off to school for the first time, knowing they're going to make their own friends and start living their own life. But it's also STRESSFUL as HECK. What if you all hate it?? What if it's terrible??? What if there's a TYPO in it and someone SEES IT and then I will have to go into hiding and change my name and live forever in SHAME???? Anyway, puzzles helped! - The biggest joy in my life right now: ***Magpies***, the novel I'm writing with Dale Halvorsen, has a finished "zero" draft (not a first draft yet, but 80k words of good raw material). We put it down for two weeks, and now we've started cutting it up and shuffling scenes around and making the plot work. I found the[ *Story Grid*](https://storygrid.com/the-story-grid-spreadsheet/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)spreadsheet pretty helpful for this. Isn't it hilarious that I can get spreadsheets involved even when it comes to writing novels? ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/08/Magpies_-_story_grid_-_Google_Sheets.png) - We've been working on a fun new feature for Lettuce, our app that helps you keep track of your investment portfolio: **customisable alerts.** You can set up email or push notifications for things like the price of an asset changing, for the value of an account being more than another account, or even for stuff like "let me know if my #high-risk investments are more than 5% of my portfolio". Take a look at our [work in progress here](https://community.lettuce.money/post/rocket-our-focus-for-the-next-6-weeks-5f0d9e58d872015a1de5f82d?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). We'll try to ship this feature to you by the end of the month, and I'm excited to see what you all do with it :) - I did a really fun interview with Diana Granoux on her podcast, [*The Family Finance Show*](https://podcasts.apple.com/za/podcast/the-family-finance-show/id1514945490?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*,* all about the power of compound interest. Last week, I asked you to let me know how I could make these posts more useful for you, and I got some really helpful responses! Please feel free to [get in touch](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/contact/) and tell me what topics you like the most, what questions you need answering, and anything else I can do to make this site betterer for you. Mega smooches! S ### Being your own rich husband URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/being-your-own-rich-husband/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T10:21:40.000Z "Get a rich husband." That was the advice my MFA (creative writing masters programme) supervisor gave me when I asked him how I should financially support myself while trying to start a writing career. I’ve had the storytelling bug since I was born. I still have piles and piles of notebooks from when I was six, filled with my childish scribble with stories of rockets and aliens and monsters and adventures and unicorns. Stories are in my bones, and I’ve never been able to stop writing them down. But as much as I dreamed of being a writer, I told myself this wasn’t on the cards for me, because – frankly – I couldn’t afford it. I always assumed that the only people who could afford to become artists were people born into houses that came with their own tennis courts. People who could afford the years or decades it can take before you get good enough at making art to make any money from it. But I wasn’t born into a house with a tennis court. My family are truck drivers and sales reps and receptionists and they’ve had to work their butts off for every bit of money they’ve ever had. So this question, "how can you afford to be an artist" is one that I've been asking myself my whole life. The answer I got, "get a rich husband", wasn't one I liked. To be clear: I have zero scorn for people who *do* choose this route. The economy is fucked and we've all got to do what we've got to do (hate the game, not the player). But it wasn't an option for *me*, because I'm pathologically terrified of being even slightly dependent on other people. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/boxofissues.gif) it me This email appeared in my inbox from a university student who's asking herself the same question: > I wanted a spot of advice. I love writing. More than anything else. Is there anything specific I can do to turn my writing into something profitable? How does one turn a passion into a career? I am so passionate about writing and want to do something with it, but the HOW has stumped me. Where should I start to get the ball rolling? First, let's talk about what a writing career actually looks like (there are other options for different kinds of art careers, but writing's what I know). There are a lot of different ways to be a writer. Here are some of the approaches I see amongst my writer friends: 1. Writers who have a **writing** **job** working for someone else (or a series of freelance jobs). I know a handful of writers who support themselves as journalists, ghostwriters, comics writers, TV writers, writers at games studios and animation companies. Here's the tricky thing about this route: these jobs are *scarce* and highly competitive. It is very, very difficult to start your career here, especially in South Africa. 2. Writers who work as **copywriters** in marketing, PR or advertising. Advertising agencies are full of underpaid creative people who hope that one day they'll be able to get out of advertising and make art full-time. The vast majority of them never do, because these jobs don't pay well enough to allow you to take unpaid sabbaticals to make art. There is some great art that comes out of advertising, but it's a struggle. 3. Writers who have a totally **unrelated day-job** and write in the mornings/at night/on sabbaticals. You would be amazed how many of the big-name, great writers you know fell into this category at the start/mid of their careers, including (at various times): N.K. Jemison (psychologist), Arthur Conan Doyle (surgeon), Franz Kafka (insurance clerk), Kurt Vonnegut (car dealer), Stephen King (school janitor), Thomas Hardy (architect), Hilary Mantel (social worker), Agatha Christie (pharmacist assistant), Haruki Murakami (ran a coffee shop), Douglas Adams (private bodyguard), Octavia Butler (telemarketer), T.S. Eliot (banker), Vladimir Nabokov (museum curator), John Grisham (plumber), Arundhati Roy (architect), Margaret Atwood (barista), and Anne Rice (insurance). Some writers have a day-job in an **allied industry** like publishing, teaching or academia. Toni Morrison, for example, worked as an editor for much of her career. 4. Writers who mostly get their money through **public speaking** (this mostly applies to people I know who write non-fiction). For them, books are *marketing*, the job is the speaking. I know people who make very good money as keynote speakers/workshop facilitators/YouTubers. 5. Writers who have a kind **patron** in the form of a supportive spouse/best friend/family member. 6. Writers who are **successful enough that the only thing they do is write books/TV/movies/comics**.I only know a tiny, tiny handful of writers who fall into this category, and most of them had other jobs before they got here. So, young reader, here's what you've got to know about a writing/art career: getting good at writing takes many, many hours of practice (that's true for getting good at *anything).* Some people have passions where other people will reliably fund their practice time, and where they can be quite certain they'll get paid well once they do get good (damn you, friends who really love writing code/doing data analysis/playing with financial models or whatever). But for those of us with the great misfortune/fortune of having fallen in love with something that society has few good business models for, we will probably have to do all of this practice work for free. One day, you might get really lucky and make money from your art. But you **cannot count on this.** There's a verse in the Bhagavad Gita that I think about a lot - chapter 2, verse 47\. Translated, it means something like: > You have a right to do the work. You do not have a right to the result of the work. I'm probably mangling this terribly, sorry Hindu friends! But I love this verse so much, because it speaks to how I feel about writing: I write because I love the process. It's how I think, how I connect, how I find joy with myself (*one of the ways*, lol). The *process* is the goal, not the outcome. It has to be: there are no guarantees that anyone else will ever like your art enough to pay for it. If you love writing, you should write. If you love making art, you should make art. You don't need anyone else to give you permission. You can write things and put them on the internet, and NO-BODY CAN STOP YOU - look, here I am doing it right now! (mwahahahahahaha) If you want to *make a career from art*, you need to find a way to fund this work. It's unlikely that anyone else will fund it for you, for a long time if ever. You either need to find a rich spouse, or you need to become your own rich spouse. Becoming your own rich spouse means **building a reliable side-career** that pays well, but still lets you protect your most precious art-making time. This might mean a job that lets you write in the mornings or evenings, or take regular sabbaticals, or the kind of job you can leave at the office when you come home, or a freelance or seasonal job. It can help if that job also feeds your writing by keeping you in contact with people or exposing you to interesting corners of the world, but it's also okay if it doesn't. Just having time & money will be enough. Becoming your own spouse means **getting better at saving and investing your money**, because that's how you can buy your freedom, one hour at a time. We don't talk enough about money, when we talk about creative careers. But we have to: because there's no making art without paying your bills. Wishing you state-funded art grants (THE DREAM), Your friend Sam *P.S. the quote at the top of this mail is from the incomparable* [*Cher*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZsL5R%5FCR-k&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*.* --- ### I'd love your feedback It was nearly 3 months ago that I launched the new membership version of this website, and committed to sending you emails more regularly. How am I doing? What would you like to see more of, or less of? Send me an email and tell me - I'd love to hear from you ❤️ ### Would somebody tell me what's happening, please? I'm so confused. URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/corona-madness/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:43:32.000Z It feels very difficult to know what's true, right now. So, I've joined a socially distanced [Rabble](https://joinrabble.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) group, which is like voluntary P.E. for grownups. Last night, after a fun game I call "try not to die from doing burpees", I was chatting to one of my rabblemates over a pint of beer. It was wonderful! Chatting to an actual human being in real-life and not on a computer screen! And then, he started talking cheerfully about how well the U.K. did at managing the Coronavirus. To which, my response was... ![Gif of a very confused woman](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/confusion.gif) ...because, I was thinking about tables like this one from *[The Economist](https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/2020/07/15/tracking-covid-19-excess-deaths-across-countries?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)...* ![Table showing excess deaths of Covid per 100000 people. Britain is fifth on the table after Mexico City, Rio de Janeiro, Ecuador, and Peru.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-53.png) Note that South Africa's numbers don't seem to have been updated since 30 June. ... which I'd most generously describe as a "I guess it could have been worse" situation, certainly not a "we did quite well" situation. It feels like reality has fractured, and we're living in entirely disconnected simultaneous realities right now. I have some friends who are holed up in their homes terrified of getting the coronavirus. I have friends who have decided it would be nice to get the coronavirus so it's over and done with, and that it's really not statistically that dangerous unless you're in a high-risk group. I have friends who are attending house-parties, and friends who haven't left the house in weeks and are full of rage at those who are being less careful. Friends who are furious at how the economy has been destroyed and how many lives *that's* taking, and that's so much worse than the deaths we would have had without a lockdown. Friends who feel like this is the worst disaster of the century, and friends who think its significance pales in comparison to the HIV crisis, TB, cholera etc. I have friends who tell me they feel like they've lost their minds, like they're being gaslit by the entire country, the media, the entire world. Personally, here's the truth: I believe every single one of these entirely contradictory things, simultaneously, to different degrees. How much I believe each one of them fluctuates throughout the day, often several times before breakfast. Of course it's enough to make you feel like you've lost your marbles. There are two reasons that I think the ground feels so unsteady right now. ### 1\. Human brains are not well optimised for this. We are social primates. We spent most of our 200,000-year history learning things from the other humans in our tribes. Our brains are not naturally careful evidence-weighing machines; they're optimised for recognising patterns and telling stories and prioritising information that helps us fit into our society. All of which, it turns out, **makes us really ill-equipped to understand a very complex global pandemic**, where there are a billion different information sources, all of which are saying different things. Tess Wilkinson-Ryan wrote a great piece about this recently, called ["Our Minds Aren't Equipped for This Kind of Reopening"](https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2020/07/reopening-psychological-morass/613858/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and I urge you to read it. > Individuals are being asked to decide for themselves what chances they should take, but a century of research on human cognition shows that people are bad at assessing risk in complex situations. During a disease outbreak, vague guidance and ambivalent behavioral norms will lead to thoroughly flawed thinking. If a business is open but you would be foolish to visit it, that is a failure of leadership. You spent your whole life up until this point learning a set of rules to help you thrive in human society. And then, suddenly, in the space of just a few weeks, you had to learn a whole different set of rules. And worse, as lockdown rules keep changing, and as we keep learning new things about this novelcoronavirus, we have to keep relearning and relearning the rules. Every day is a new renegotiation of what is safe, what is moral, what will bring you joy. Heck, even amongst experts, there is no person on earth who's been an expert on *this pandemic* for even a year. Would you be pissed at a child for not figuring out the "wash your hands after you poop" rule immediately? No! It takes a while to learn new behaviours and understand why they're important. And did you ever get any formal training about assessing epidemiological risks or macroeconomics or ethical decision making? So why are you irritated with yourself for feeling like you don't know what's true half the time? You're doing your best! ### 2\. Everyone's going through a lot of shit right now. Every year, Old Mutual releases a survey of metro working South Africans called the [Savings and Investment Monitor](https://eu-assets.contentstack.com/v3/assets/blt0554f48052bb4620/blte49f973ed401da6e/5f10029637c4eb3fc85ff0b4/OMSIM%5F2020%5Ffinal%5Fresearch%5Ffindings%5FPPT.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). This year, they did a special deep-dive into the economic impacts of covid. Here are three sobering images I want you to see. ![66% of South Africans say "I am constantly worried about losing my job/income"](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-54.png) ![40% of South Africans say that if they lost their job they have funds to last for 1 month or less](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-55.png) ![58% say they are experiencing high/overwhelming levels of financial stress](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-56.png) And these are *working* South Africans living in *cities,* friends. So, not only are people trying to become instant experts in a whole set of very complicated topics, but they're doing so in an environment of **stress, fear, anxiety and panic**. You know, all things that make it 100x harder to judge facts objectively. ### What to do about it? I have a couple of practical suggestions for you: - Try to **slow down** your news intake. Learning LOTS AND LOTS OF FACTS about WHAT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW and THE ONE BRAND NEW STUDY ABOUT BLOOD CLOTS/REMDESIVIR/NEUROLOGICAL SYMPTOMS that came out yesterday is not going to be as helpful as rather taking time to read/watch/listen to one or two deeply researched pieces over a slower timeframe. Aim for *understanding* rather than *information*. I've been enjoying [SciShow's videos](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsNB4peY6C6IQediwz2GzMTNvm%5FdMzr47&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), for instance. I'd love to hear your suggestions! - Learn some skills to help you spot misinformation and disinformation. This guide from *[the Verge](https://www.theverge.com/21276897/fake-news-facebook-twitter-misinformation-lies-fact-check-how-to-internet-guide?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* is a great primer. I especially liked the part about considering the **scale** of a story. - If you're struggling with family members or friends sending you full-on conspiracy theories (sigh, aren't we all) try to encourage them to sign up for the excellent South African fact-checking podcast [What's Crap on WhatsApp](https://www.whatscrap.africa/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). You might also find some useful tips in [this *Verge* piece](https://www.theverge.com/2020/3/20/21187983/debunk-coronavirus-conspiracy-theories-how-to-covid-19-news-science?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and *[The Conspiracy Theory Handbook](https://www.climatechangecommunication.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/ConspiracyTheoryHandbook.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com).* Figuring out what's true in a situation like this **is not an innate skill**. We all have to actively learn how to do it, and all of us have a duty to try to get better at it. But try to practice patience with the people who are living in a different reality to you. They're probably going through their own personal hell, too, and they deserve as much kindness and empathy as you can muster. Wishing you sanity, patience and a beautiful reality, Your very confused buddy Sam --- ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-57.png) ## Updates from Sam-land - **Merch alert!** The magnificent [Nanna Venter](https://www.nannaventer.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is designing some sticker packs so that you can mark your bank cards/envelopes. We'll be launching an online store soon where you'll be able to buy them (and more goodies). I am extremely excited about this. I want to fill your life with silly stickers. - *Magpies*, the novel I'm writing with Dale Halvorsen, is on 79,261 words, folks! Yeeeeehaw! - I really appreciated Cat Wyatt's very kind review of one of the episodes I wrote for *[Marvel's Jessica Jones: Playing with Fire](https://wordofthenerdonline.com/review-jessica-jones-playing-with-fire-episode-10-serial-box/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* over at *Word of the Nerd*. - My favourite 11-year-old, who I call Ms K, drew the most phenomenal picture of me, which I have to share with you because GOOD GRIEF how can an 11 YEAR OLD be SO AMAZINGLY TALENTED?? ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/k_blurred.png) ### Where to invest on behalf of a teenager? URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-does-compound-interest-apply-to-etfs/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T10:28:53.000Z Hello, grownups :) Today I'm tackling two reader questions. Let's hop right in, shall we? > I read and took in all that you said about the magical properties of compound interest. I have got it, I am sold. But even after having read your book and browsed yours and other financial websites, I still don’t understand how to get compound interest anywhere other than a bank account, where I can understand the simple notion that any interest gets re-invested. But how would I get compound interest with an ETF ? Sorry, this feels like a very, very dim question. But if I want to follow all your advice about getting a low-fee, very diversified ETF, then can I still take advantage of the compound interest effect? HOW? This is an EXCELLENT question, actually. You're quite right that it's not technically *interest* doing the work on ETFs. You're still getting compounding *returns*, but in an ETF, these returns are a combination of **the value of the underlying shares increasing** (what we'd call "capital gain") plus **dividends**. Some ETFs automatically reinvest dividends for you, and other don't. \-- It's worth taking a step back to talk about why your money actually grows when you invest in it ETFs (the answer is not "Leprechauns"). An ETF is a clever way to let you buy a tiny slice of a basket of underlying shares (amongst other things, but I'm going to talk here about share-based ETFs). It's a lot like a mutual fund, except the ETF itself is traded on a stock exchange like any other stock, which makes it a bit more flexible and transparent. But don't worry about the ETF layer. The important bit is the **businesses** that underlie it. When you invest in an ETF, you're indirectly buying tiny pieces of those businesses. Your money grows because those businesses are **making a profit** (hopefully), which they're either paying out to their shareholders or re-investing to grow themselves. Imagine one of the businesses you own a tiny piece of, through your ETF, is Apple. This year, Apple makes a profit. What are some things they can do with that profit? 1. They could develop new products. 2. They could buy up another business. 3. They could build new manufacturing facilities or Apple Store branches. 4. They could expand into new markets. 5. They could just pay it out to their shareholders**.** If they do #1-4, they're doing those things because they believe that they will **grow** the value of Apple as a business. *They've re-invested their profit.* You, as a shareholder, benefit from them doing this, because your shares in their business are now worth more (**capital growth**). If they do #5, then you just get the cash. With some ETFs, you literally get a cash payout four times a year (these are called "distributing" ETFs). *You will have to re-invest this profit yourself to get the compounding effect.* With other ETFs, your dividends are automatically used to buy up more units of the ETF, so you get the compounding effect automatically (these are called "accumulating" ETFs). Some people buy accumulating ETFs when they're young, and move to distributing ETFs when they're older, and need to start living off their investments. Fun fact (fun for finance nerds, anyway): over the past 50 years, the compounding effect of reinvested dividends [have been responsible for 78% of the total return of the S&P 500 index](https://www.hartfordfunds.com/dam/en/docs/pub/whitepapers/WP106.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (i.e. capital gain was only responsible for 22% of the return). ![Graph showing the growth of the S&P500 over the past 50 years including dividend reinvestment](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-51.png) Source: Hartford Funds, link above \-- So, absolutely: when you're investing in ETFs, you should be hoping for *compounding returns,* not specifically *compound interest*, but the effect will be exactly the same. The beautiful math of compounding, that was described in the book through an elaborate rats metaphor, will still apply to ETFs just like it does to savings accounts. *Of course, the one big difference between ETFs (or stocks in general) and savings accounts is that the returns on ETFs *can compound down* as well as up. Sometimes the businesses in your ETF will make a loss, not a profit. That's why it's so important to reduce your risk through* [*diversification*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/good-funds/)*.* I still like to refer to all of this informally as **compound interest**, mostly because it's a familiar term to people. Generally, in the world of money, I think of ‘interest’ as being the money that you earn for investing your money or putting it to work in the world (good interest), or the cost of using someone else’s money (bad interest). --- > My teenage son has come into a small lump sum of R25,000 and I want to invest it for him, not to be touched for at least ten years. The one other factor is that of course he might want to leave South Africa ☹. So where would I stick this lump sum to grow quietly, preferably in dollars or similar? I’ve read all you’ve said about EasyEquitites and global tracker funds … do I head there? Lucky teen! I hope he got the money from doing something extremely cool, like monetizing a complex TikTok dance or being Batman's sidekick for the summer. And good on you for wanting to put that money to good work, rather than letting interest degrade its value. My general rule of thumb for investing is, the longer you can wait for the money, the more of it should be in equities (i.e. shares). Equities have historically been the best performing asset class, but can be very "wobbly" in the short-term. At a 10-year time frame, I'd definitely be looking at a low-fee ETF that tracks the whole world. I can't advise you on exactly which one you should pick, but here's [a list of ideas](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/good-funds/) to jumpstart your own research. Your boy is globally-minded, so you're smart to be thinking about investing in something that's not tied to South Africa's economy. There are two ways to do this: 1. **True offshore funds**, where you first convert your rands to a different currency (like US Dollars) and buy the fund directly in another country. You can do this on [EasyEquities](https://www.easyequities.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or global platforms like [Interactive Brokers](https://www.interactivebrokers.co.uk/en/home.php?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). You can use an app like [Shyft](https://getshyft.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to swop your ZAR for USD. 2. **South-African based offshore funds** (rand-denominated), where you buy shares in a locally-registered ETF and that company then buys up the international funds on your behalf. There are a lot of options like this now. [EasyEquities](https://www.easyequities.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)[ ](https://www.outvest.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)offers many, or you could look at [Coreshares](https://coreshares.co.za/individuals/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or go directly to [Satrix](https://satrix.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). There are pros and cons to either approach: taking money properly offshore adds an extra layer of protection in case things get extremely weird in SA, but moving money into USD is expensive and increases your investing costs (which reduces your return), *and* it's a hassle. True offshore investments are also taxed differently to SA-based offshore funds, but it's impossible to tell before-hand which will be better (basically, if the rand weakens, then the true offshore fund is the winner; visa-versa if the rand strengthens). For R25k I would *personally* just stick to an SA-based global fund and focus on optimising costs & hassle now rather than trying to predict the future, but you should do your own research about this, and consult a fee-based financial planner if you need extra advice. You can either open the investment in your teen's name, or your own. If you put it in his name, then there's always the risk he'll withdraw it early to spend it on a wild shopping spree when he turns 18, but it's your job as his parent to teach him solid money skills so he doesn't do this. The fact that you're writing to me now with this question makes me confident that you will! The advantage of it being in his name, not yours, is that he's more likely to be under the capital gains tax threshold in the year when he decides to sell that investment, than you are. You could also consider using his tax-free allowance for this, which is like an invisibility cloak that hides the investment from the tax-man completely. The downside of doing this is that if he withdraws it in his 20s or 30s, it's using up some of his lifetime TF allowance which he could otherwise be using to fund his own retirement, as [brilliant Stealthy Wealthy suggests here](http://www.stealthywealth.co.za/2020/05/could-you-retire-comfortably-using-just.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Let's just do some back-of-the-envelope maths here. Using the lump sum investment calculator on the [Money Dashboard](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1SJOeMpC7Ol9H3mcsmxFLUQqeeoL8llmpCPxdk3DVzfE/edit?usp=sharing&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) with a 13% growth rate (6% inflation + 7% average real growth on equities), that would predict that the 25k *could* be worth R90k in 10 years. Capital gains tax could take a real bite out of that, so using the TFSA allowance definitely seems worth considering. I hope that your son enjoys his Batman money! Wishing you all invisibility cloaks, compound interest and magical Leprechauns, Your friend Sam --- ### Updates from Sam-Land The UK's daily Covid death rate is slowly creeping down to the single digits, and the country is starting to open up again. It's simultaneously joyful, terrifying, confusing and wonderful. I can finally start trying to... make friends in my new country, maybe? Readers who are in places where things are still feeling out of control, I'm so sorry. I'm holding you in my thoughts. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-52.png) I've been thinking a lot about **mental health armour**: the small things you can do that give you greater resilience during rough times. One of the bits of mental health armour that's been particularly helpful to me recently is making a weekly goal tracker in my journal, where I keep track of the most important things I have to do every week. I try to make sure that these goals support a general froo-froo "theme" I give each season (this is an idea I took from [CGP Grey](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVGuFdX5guE&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)). I followed up the Winter of Small Joys with the Spring of Gentleness, and am now in the Summer of Excavation. Having these little rituals and goals is giving my time structure and purpose, and helps me to feel less adrift. - Can I interest you in 20% off *Marvel's Jessica Jones: Playing with Fire*? Use the code SOTWJJ at [this link](https://www.serialbox.com/redeem/?code=SOTWJJ&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). You're welcome! - *Magpies*, the novel I'm writing with [Dale Halvorsen](https://twitter.com/JoeyHiFi?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), has 66,070 words of a first draft! It is our misshapen brain-baby and I love it. We're set to finish this draft by the end of the month, when we'll take a break for a couple of weeks so we can tackle the edits with fresh eyes. - I've always wished there was an app that would let me automate my financial strategy, like a customisable money autopilot in my pocket. So, Lettuce is thinking about how we might build this. I'd [love your thoughts!](https://community.lettuce.money/post/rocket-our-focus-for-the-next-6-weeks-5f0d9e58d872015a1de5f82d?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - Some random things that have been bringing me joy recently: collaborative story-telling game [Storium](https://storium.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), the book [*Girl, Woman, Other*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41081373-girl-woman-other?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)by Bernardine Evaristo, the boardgames [Mysterium](https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/181304/mysterium?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Codenames Pictures](https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/198773/codenames-pictures?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), Rebecca Haysom's [Drawing with Mindfulness online art classes](https://www.instagram.com/beckyhaysom/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [*30 Rock*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/30%5FRock?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and the [Fate roleplaying system](https://fate-srd.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (some friends and I have been playing a *Star Wars* game where I play a toddler Hutt wannabe crime-lord named Flim-Flam the Formidable). ### Handling the death of a loved one, the world's MOST SUPER CHEERFUL TOPIC EVER URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/handling-the-death-of-a-loved-one-the-worlds-most-super-cheerful-topic-ever/ Last updated: 2026-07-22T14:18:47.000Z My loves, a couple of people asked me to put together a guide for the practical stuff you need to do when someone you love is dying. There's no way to make this a cheerful topic, unfortunately (I TRIED adding jokes, I TRIED... but it didn't work). It also came out as a looooooong post, because it turns out that there's a whole admin mountain around death. So instead of clogging up your inbox with it, I'm just going to send you the link, and you can read it if you're up for it. Here it is: [https://www.likeafuckinggrownup.com/what-to-do-when-a-loved-one-is-dying/](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/what-to-do-when-a-loved-one-is-dying/) **The piece covers:** 1. What to do when someone you love is very ill and might die. 2. What to do once someone has died. 3. Some notes on grief. 4. What you can do now, while you're healthy, to make your own death easier on the people you love. I really hope that this isn't a relevant topic to most of you right now, and if it's not, please just skip on over to the end where I'm going to talk about a couple of things you can do now, while you're healthy, to make life easier for the people who will have to deal with *your* death someday. And if this is relevant to you right now, I'm so, so sorry. I hope this is helpful in some tiny way. I am beaming love at you. Wishing you a complete lack of admin, Your friend Sam ### What to do when a loved one is dying, or has died URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/what-to-do-when-a-loved-one-is-dying/ Last updated: 2020-11-02T16:01:27.000Z My loves, this one's going to be heavy. I really hope that this isn't a relevant topic to most of you right now, and if it's not, please just skip on over to the end where I'm going to talk about a couple of things you can do now, while you're healthy, to make life easier for the people who will have to deal with *your* death someday. But this one is for those of you who are walking through the dark place right now, alone, and who have questions about what's up ahead. The emotional journey is one that no-one can prepare you for, because it's different for everybody. But at least I can tell you about the admin (and better believe it, there's a LOT of admin). I'm sure a mountain of admin is JUST what you feel like right now, hey? 😂😭 There's no guidebook for this, not really. Each death is different, and every family has its own complications they'll need to sort through. But I'm going to cover some of the major things that you'll need to deal with, in four main sections: 1. What to do when someone is very ill and might die. 2. What to do once someone has died. 3. Some notes on grief. 4. What you can do now, while you're healthy, to make your own death easier on the people you love. ## ## What to do when someone is very ill and might die In many ways, this is the hardest part: this endless limbo; this panic every time the phone rings; this complete isolation; this terrible powerlessness in the face of hospital administrators and doctors who won't tell you what's going on; these moments of hope and then dread; this daily uncertainty. In no particular order, here are some tips and resources that you might find helpful. Ask your loved one if they will grant you **power of attorney** so that you are authorized to make health, care and financial decision on their behalf. This will make it easier for you to manage their admin if they are in hospital or incapacitated. You can download a power of attorney document online, complete it and print it. You'll need to find the right document for your own country. [Here's one for the UK](https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/make-a-lasting-power-of-attorney/lp12-make-and-register-your-lasting-power-of-attorney-a-guide-web-version?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). [Here's one for South Africa](https://www.lawforall.co.za/free-legal-contracts/general-power-of-attorney/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Depending on where you are, you may need to sign it in front of witnesses, or get it stamped by a commissioner oaths. Your loved one needs to be of sound mind when they sign this document, so consider putting this in place sooner rather than later. You should also get a few **certified copies of their ID** made. If it's possible and your loved one is up for it, help them to put their **paperwork in order** (see the section below). Make sure they have a will in place. Obviously, you might not have the emotional energy for all of this, and that's okay. Recruit other family members to help you, if you can. If you have the emotional space for it, I highly recommend reading the book [***Being Mortal* by Atul Gawande**](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20696006-being-mortal?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (prepare to sob your heart out). Gawande is a surgeon who discovered, as his own father was dying, exactly how ill-equipped the modern healthcare system is for dealing with the end of life. Doctors are trained to extend life. The difficult thing you may discover, when you are watching a loved one die, is that sometimes the things doctors will do to extend life come at too high a cost for the quality of the little life that remains. At some point, you may need to decide to stop trying to save someone's life and rather focus on helping them to die peacefully. This book will equip you to have conversations with your loved ones that will help you to guide these impossible decisions. Here's a summary of [the 5 questions](https://www.nextavenue.org/atul-gawandes-5-questions-ask-lifes-end/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) he suggests you ask, but read the whole book if you can. A **living will/advanced decision** is a legally binding document that lays out what a person wants in regards to medical care. It includes the right to refuse life-extending medical treatment in certain circumstances, like if they're brain-dead. If your loved one has an **old** **living will**, it's worth updating it. As a friend of mine said: > Relevant to Corona: for those who do not wish to be put onto ventilators, should fill in a ‘living will’. If you have an old living will, it's a good idea to make a new one ([here's a template](https://funeralguide.co.za/living-will-info/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)). It’s good to freshen your living will from time to time, because doctors are far more likely to take a fresh one seriously, knowing that this is your ‘current’ line of thinking. In light of Corona, my parents have both updated their living wills and added specific wording to the effect that they may not be ventilated. An [alternative living will template](https://dignitysouthafrica.org/why?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). While we're on the topic of doctors: **record any conversations you have with a doctor** (with their permission). You will be so overwhelmed with information that you may find you forget everything you just heard, immediately. And getting the damn doctors to talk to you in the first place can be extremely difficult, in both public and private hospitals (they're busy saving lives, after all), so you really need to use your time with them efficiently. I also suggest that you **write down any questions you have** before you talk to the doctor, so you don't forget to ask them. **Pack a go-bag**, for both you and your loved one (if they're at home) so that you can leave at a moment's notice. This bag should include essential paperwork (like the ID copies you made), a warm jersey, hand sanitizer, cash, some snacks, and 2 day's worth of any medications. You should also **keep a list on your phone** of all the medication your loved one normally takes, in what dosage, and information about any other underlying medical problems that might be relevant. Add the names and contact numbers of any doctors you are dealing with, and the hospital's phone numbers. Add other essential information as you get it: bed numbers in the ward, the name of the nurse on duty, etc. We found it helpful to keep this in a Google Doc with the link in the description of our family emergency WhatsApp group, so anyone could access it easily. **Accept help.** When people say, "let me know if there's anything I can do..." take them up on this. Good tasks to delegate include: communicating with the wider network of friends and family, doing research and running errands. People want to help you. Let them. **Find out what your various medical aids and insurances will cover**. One of our readers had to navigate a real minefield around paying for end of life care: > End of life care may or may not be covered by medical aid depending on the illness. Critical to have critical illness cover here especially the big C. Also varies for different types of cancer. Any potential shortfalls should be covered with gap cover. It's worth it. I didn't have gap cover but luckily paid for everything. Including 24h nursing at home. Make sure to know the medical aids procedures. Discovery didn't make it obvious that I needed additional approval for meds which led to a lot of out of pocket charges for me which they reimbursed. Best to have some cash stashed away because this will happen. Or know your loved ones pin, or be able to access their banking app to you can transfer money on their behalf to pay for any not covered. **Take a break** sometimes. It's okay to leave your phone with someone who knows where to reach you in an emergency, and to go off and do something joyful for a bit (in fact, it's *essential* to top up your own emotional tank). If you're struggling, reach out to someone. In South Africa, try the [SADAG](http://www.sadag.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) helpline. Try [one of these helplines](https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mental-health-helplines/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) in the UK. The hospital or hospice will likely have staff counsellors you can talk to, too. The website [LoveLegacyDignity](https://lovelegacydignity.com/blog/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is filled with excellent South African resources for approaching the end of life. ## What happens when someone has died No, I don't mean "is there a heaven where they frolic around with Labrador retrievers under an ice-cream fountain for all eternity" - I hope there is, but I honestly have no idea. I mean, what happens to their status as a legal person, and all the stuff they owned. Before we chat about all the things you can do to plan and prepare, it helps to have a rough understanding of what the process looks like. A map of the terrain. Depending on where or how someone dies, their body will be taken by an ambulance or a funeral director to a **mortuary**. There are mortuaries in hospitals and funeral homes. The **cause of death** needs to be established by a doctor. Sometimes this will be clear and obvious, and it's as simple as a doctor issuing a **medical certificate/death notice** detailing what happened. If it's not obvious (the person died suddenly or violently) someone called a **coroner** (a person responsible for investigating a death) will order an **autopsy** or post-mortem examination where a doctor will examine the body to determine exactly what happened. All of this stuff happens quite quickly and automatically as soon as you alert an ambulance or the police. If someone dies in a hospital, the hospital will be able to guide you through these steps. You don't need to do too much planning for any of this. In fact, don't feel rushed to do *anything* on that first day except be with your family, and grieve. Muslim readers who need the burial to happen quickly, you'll have the support of your community in doing this. ### The body, funerals and memorials Once the **medical certificate** has been issued, the family can make arrangements to dispose of the body and hold a funeral. You will probably engage a funeral home and/or religious institution for their help at this point. Funeral homes can help you both disposing of the body respectfully (and taking you through the bureaucratic stuff like applying for the certificates), and arranging a funeral/memorial service. But you don't have to use them for both things. When my dad died, we chose what's called a **silent cremation** which means that the body is cremated without anyone being present. Doves, the funeral home we used, helped us to do this efficiently and kindly, and it wasn't that expensive (if memory serves me correctly, about R4,000). But we chose to arrange our own memorial. Look, it's weird to sit at a funeral home the day after someone you love just died and have a conversation where they're trying to upsell you on things, but you really can just say no to almost everything. These decisions are very personal and cultural and you should do whatever feels right to you, and not feel pressured into doing anything else. My gran was insistent that no-one was allowed to be sad when she died (this was a strict order), so we also had a silent cremation for her and then a small boozy family lunch at a restaurant in her honour. With my dad, we had a big funeral at the church he worked at and it felt a bit like organising a wedding in its complexity, but that felt right for him. Just trust your gut. **There are no rules**, and anything you choose is okay. Funerals and memorials are a great place, again, **to accept help that is offered**. Delegate tasks like finding a venue or food or decor. They're all very delegatable things! This is also something you can plan in advance before someone dies: just book a meeting with a funeral director and make some of the choices *before* you're in the thick of grieving. A quick checklist of stuff you need to think of when arranging a funeral/memorial: - Venue - Food/drink - Invitations (including a list of who needs to be contacted) - Speeches/eulogies/religious service/music - Decor/programmes If you change your mind at any point, that's fine! This reader had a great tip: > Compare prices from one funeral director to another and decline offers to meet at your home unless they have to come to your home to fetch the body. If you wish to change funeral directors after the body has been collected, this is okay, the industry has a set fee for collection, so you won’t be charged extra. Be as good a consumer in funerals as you are with any other purchase. You may be able to choose whether or not to **see the body** of your loved one. This is very personal and, again, let your instincts guide you. My grandmother died at home when I was a teenager, and my uncle and I washed and dressed her body. She was quite stiff, and difficult to manoeuvre, and when we lifted her arms above her head to get her nightdress off there was a terrible *crack*, like we'd broken her ribs. There was a horrible moment where both my uncle and I started apologising to her for hurting her, and then a moment of great peace where we both realised, completely, that *she wasn't there*, and this was just a body, and we couldn't hurt her. It was ultimately healing, and I'm grateful for that experience. So when my uncle, grandfather and father died, I felt like I didn't need to see their bodies, because I already understood that they weren't in them any more. The final step that happens is that the death is registered with the government and a **death certificate** is issued. This must happen within a few days of the death. If you're using a funeral home, they will help you with this. Another tip from a friend: > Oh my god, when they ask how many copies of the death certificate you want, get as many as you can pay for. Ten is not too many. Astonishing how many people/companies/service want the originals and won’t return them. ### The money stuff Once the death certificate has been issued, they are no longer a legal person. They can no longer enter into legal agreements or be required to fulfil contracts (uh, obviously) and everything they owned is now frozen until their **estate** is wrapped up (an "estate" here just means "everything the person owned", including their house, furniture, money, investments etc.). The person or company responsible for wrapping up the estate is called an **executor.** The executor is appointed in the will if there is one, or by the courts if there isn't. If you had a **power of attorney**, it now ends. All authority now passes to the executor. Wrapping up the estate means that there's a period of time where the death of the person is made public. Anyone the person owed money to is allowed to come forward and make a **claim** against the estate. The executor works out how much money must be paid from the estate in taxes. The executor also tracks down and compiles a list of all of the things of value that the person owned. If you were named the executor and have no idea what to do, here's a [good South African guide](https://funeralguide.co.za/what-to-do-when-someone-dies/duties-of-an-executor/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and [a good UK guide](https://www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/age-uk/documents/information-guides/ageukil8%5Fhow%5Fto%5Fbe%5Fan%5Fexecutor%5Finf.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). If you're feeling overwhelmed or the estate is complex, you can **delegate your duties** to a company that does this regularly. Know that this can be expensive (usually 2.5 - 3.5% of the estate's value) but it can be worth it. This was especially true for a friend of mine who was living in the UK when his father died in South Africa: > Being out of the country having my father's financial adviser as the executor of the estate was life saver. I literally don’t know how I would have dealt with it otherwise. Though that was mostly thanks to my fathers forethought rather than anything I did. While the estate is being wrapped up, the heirs generally cannot move or access these assets. For instance, it's difficult for heirs to sell a house during this time. This is an important point: **you cannot inherit a debt**. If your parent dies and owes a big personal loan, that creditor cannot approach you and ask you to pay up. Instead, the creditor makes a claim against the **estate**, and if their claim is found to be valid, then they get their money back *first*, and the heirs get whatever is left in the estate after all the debts have been paid. If the estate includes a house, it's possible that the house will be sold to pay back any debt claims (or, the heirs can agree to pay cash to settle the debts, to prevent the house from being sold). If there's not enough in the estate to pay everybody back, even after selling any assets, then those debts are written off, they're not passed on. Of course, if you're **married in community of property**, and your spouse dies, this is all a little more complicated, and you should get detailed advice about this. Only once all of the claims have been taken into account (including taxes, and the executor fees are paid) then what's left is divided up to the **beneficiaries** (the people who inherit the estate). If there's a valid will, that will say how the estate should be divvied up. If there isn't a will, then the person is said to have died **intestate** and there is a set of rules in every country about how the estate is divided. Once a judge has approved all of this, the estate is finalised, and the money is actually handed over to the beneficiaries. Now here's the rub: **it takes a very, very long time for an estate to be wrapped up**. In the UK, expect 6-18 months. In South Africa, expect up to 3 years (unless the estate was worth less than R250,000, in which case the process is sped up). That means that one of the most important things to think about is how you'll support that person's financial dependents during this period. It's *awful* and *unfair* and *unjust* that it can take so long, and we need to reform these processes. But on a personal level, you need a plan for yourself or your family that makes sure they're looked after in that period. That's where **insurance** comes in. Life insurance and funeral insurance aren't a part of the estate: they're paid out as soon as someone dies, usually very quickly after you have a death certificate. Life insurance can fill a crucial gap between when you die, and when your dependents will get their inheritance. If your loved one had life or funeral insurance, you should apply for these as soon as possible. **Pensions and retirement annuities** are another helpful exception: they're not part of the estate. Rather, they are paid out directly to your dependents, or sometimes, to a nominated beneficiary. It can take *a few months* for this to happen, but it is unlikely to take as long as wrapping up the rest of the estate. You should initiate this process by directly contacting the advisor or fund. Seriously consider **withdrawing all of the cash from their bank and savings accounts** before you register for their death certificate and close these accounts, to use for paying the funeral and supporting financial dependents while the estate is wrapped up. If you choose to do this: 1. Do it as soon as possible after the death. 2. Keep clear records of the withdrawals and who the money went to. 3. Make sure that all heirs know about this plan and are okay with it. 4. As far as possible, make sure that you're splitting this money along the same lines as the will or intestate rules specify, so it's going to its ultimate beneficiaries anyway. Here's the thing: withdrawing money after someone has died is **illegal**. It could be challenged in court later if someone who was owed money (as a creditor or an heir) feels they were entitled to what you withdrew. It could delay the estate being wrapped up. I know one family where one son did this, and it lead to the siblings no longer speaking to each other. Do tread carefully. So ja okes, I'm literally telling you to consider breaking the law here. But in my defence, so is this actual lawyer: > Today I advised a client, whose elderly parent died of Covid 19 to draw down her modest savings before the bank learns that she has died. I told him it wasn’t strictly lawful but the prospect of that money being tied up for years while the Master ties things up is worse. > > — Richard Spoor (@Richard\_Spoor) [June 29, 2020](https://twitter.com/Richard%5FSpoor/status/1277611186121584640?ref%5Fsrc=twsrc%5Etfw&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) And doing this was a lifesaver for this reader's family: > There are a few hours between time of death and when the banks freeze all accounts so if they have access to the bank cards and pin codes that is something they would need to consider as policies can take a while to pay out, if any are available. When my Dad died, my Mother relied heavily on the cash we were able to withdraw from his accounts before they were frozen as there was an issue with his death certificate and it took longer for his policies to pay out. In South Africa, you can also apply for the [UIF dependents benefit](https://www.gov.za/services/uif/dependants-benefits-uif?fbclid=IwAR2ULlNdHqOZRscl6nziDz9EsfRYz9RzWqkmogegI6sh0W18rTTFUDgao2A&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). You must start this process soon after death because there's a 6 month window. In other countries, there might be other **grants or benefits** you're entitled to, and you should research this. One last thing about estates: if you are the executor and you're dealing with a biggish or complicated estate, get a **tax consultant** involved. ### Miscellaneous death admin Once you've got a death certificate and initiated the process of the estate being wrapped up, there's some miscellaneous admin you need to get through. You should **make a list of subscriptions and accounts** the person had (it's helpful to go through their bank statement), stuff like cellphone contracts, medical aid etc. Email each of these providers with a copy of the death certificate so that they can close these accounts, or transfer them into the name of a surviving spouse. Legally, death terminates most contracts like this, but you need to let everyone know. If anyone starts coming at you wanting to talk about outstanding bills, *don't be bullied* into paying, just email them the contact information of the estate executor and tell them to make a claim with them. The good news is, some of the accounts you discover, when you go through this process, might have **credit life insurance** or other benefits that pay up debts in the event of death. As this reader suggests: > Check if their accounts have clauses making them paid up on death, some even have cash backs in the event of death. Systematically go through all info that you have. Including the fine print. If your loved one owned a **firearm**, and the heirs don't want it, dispose of it safely by surrendering it to the police. If there's uncertainty about it, declare the weapon to the executor. They can usually apply for a temporary license for it. Find a way to store it safely (at last resort, contact a local gun shop). If there was a SASSA account, these payments will stop automatically, because Home Affairs will alert them. If you or other dependents are at a loss, [find **a fee-based financial advisor**](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-to-find-a-financial-adviser-who-doesnt-suck/) and ask for their advice about what to do next. A general tip for this whole process: **keep all of your information organised**. Find a secure way to store all of the relevant passwords, account numbers and documents you'll start to accumulate. I have a physical folder stored in a secure place, with some certified copies of these documents stored elsewhere, and a secure note in my password manager ([1Password](https://1password.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)) with all of the passwords and other information. I also keep digital scans of everything as an additional backup. So basically, here's a rundown of the major steps of death admin, and how many days after the death you can expect these things to happen: 1. Establish the cause of death and issue a death notice (1 day). 2. Register the death and issue a death certificate (1 - 5 days). 3. Bury or cremate the body. Hold a funeral or memorial service if you want to (1 - 7 days). 4. Cash out insurance policies (3 - 30 days). 5. Close accounts, wrap up other miscellaneous admin (7 - 30 days). 6. Transfer benefits from retirement funds (1 - 3 months). 7. Wrap up the estate (6 months - 3 years). ## Some notes on grief > The death of a loved one will hit everyone in different ways. Expect the unexpected, even from close family members you have known your whole life. (Sometimes the unexpected will be pleasant though.) When someone you love dies, you discover that there is a secret society of the grieving. You will suddenly become aware of which of your friends have lost someone too. They will be the people who understand what you're going through, the ones who won't shy away from hearing about your worst stories, because they've been carrying their own. There are things we can't tell anyone else, because they're too terrible to say to those who don't understand. The awful indignities of the failing body. The moments when we were not at our best and did not behave nobly. The times the person dying was tired and in pain and cruel. The moments of comedy, too, because death is utterly absurd and occasionally hilarious. There is a secret sorority of grief. And there will be other people who do understand, and you can be honest with. You will be alone in your grieving, because the love you have for the dead is perfectly unique. But you won't be completely alone. You will grow around your grief like a tree grows around a fence. It will never lessen. It will be a part of you always. But you will become bigger than it. You will keep loving them always. ![A tree growing around a fence](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/1552593484_61a81d4870_b.jpg) Photo by Nic Price On days when it's hard, remind yourself that there is joy in your future. There is meaning and love and goodness in your future. You will not always feel this terrible. Talk to someone. ## How you can plan for your own death Friends, this has been a loooooong post. Because there really is endless endless endless admin around death. This is what adulthood is, being able to do this work so that others don't have to. There will be times you find yourself looking around for an adultier adult! But doing this work, carrying this load, this work is [your love made visible](https://poets.org/poem/work-4?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It is a great gift that you can give the people you love, to do as much of this admin *for them*, so that they don't have to do it in the midst of their grieving. To sort these things out now, while it's easy. There are three main things you need to do, to offer your loved ones this gift: 1. Have a will in place. 2. Keep your records neat and make sure they're easy to find. 3. If you have dependents, make sure you have a financial and custodial plan for them if you die. First, **make a damn will**. Even if you're happy with the rules of intestate succession, you should have a will anyway, so that you can *appoint an executor* and *agree on the fees they'll take* upfront. You can download free will templates online ([here's one for SA](https://funeralguide.co.za/write-your-own-will/free-will-template/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)) but make SURE that you're following the instructions about exactly how they must be signed and witnessed. If your life is even slightly complicated it's better to get a professional to draft a will for you. South Africa has a [Will's Week](https://www.lssa.org.za/our-initiatives/advocacy/national-wills-week?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) every September where lawyers will help you draft a will for free/very little. You could also try [Capital Legacy](https://www.capitallegacy.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Negotiate your executorship fees upfront. The maximum in South Africa is 3.5% + VAT (3.99% effectively). Try to negotiate this down to at least 2.5%. I'd avoid using the bank, personally, but it's not a terrible option if you can't find anyone else. Make sure your will is kept somewhere safe, and your family knows it exists and how to find it. If you employ a domestic worker, please also give consideration to leaving something for them, especially if you can't enrol them for UIF. Then, **keep your records neat**. You'll make life so much simpler for people who have to deal with your admin if you get sick or die if it's all organised. My strategy for this is that I keep all of my most important records and passwords in a [password manager](https://1password.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and two of my most trusted friends each know half of the master password. Hypothetically, those two could collaborate and rob me of everything I own, but it does mean that if something happens to me, they have the "master key" that unlocks everything in my life. There's also a secure note in there that details some extra stuff they need to know (i.e. the treasure map to my buried gold... just kidding). There are other ways you can solve this problem, like keeping hard copies of this information in a safety deposit box, but however you do it, find a solution. If you have **dependents**, read what I said above about how long it takes for an estate to be wrapped up, and make sure you have a plan in place to support them financially. This might mean getting **life insurance**, or transferring some assets to a spouse, or listing beneficiaries on a retirement fund, or something else, but give this some thought. If you're responsible for the care of children or other dependents, think about their care, too. Once you've handled those three crucial things, there's some additional stuff you might want to think about: - Write a **letter of wishes** detailing other stuff like how you want your body to be disposed of, what kind of funeral you want etc. so that your family doesn't have to make those decisions for you. If you want something big/expensive, think about how you'll finance this (e.g. research funeral insurance or pre-paying for your own funeral, which is a thing you can do). - Work through this [**excellent checklist**](https://lovelegacydignity.com/free-download/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to put together a resource of everything your loved ones will need to know if you're incapacitated or die. Keep this safely with your other documents. - If your estate is large or complex, talk to an **estate planning specialist** who can advise you on how to structure your financial life in the best way for your heirs. Writing a will, having your stuff sorted, is one of the kindest gifts you can give the people you love. Grief is a terrible time to be stressing about money or worrying about admin. You're going to die someday. *Someone* is going to have to do all of this nonsense. Make sure it's you, not them. --- *Special thanks for this piece to Marcia Joubert, Jodi Allemeier, Peter Cardwell-Gardner, Sam Humphries, Helen Moffett, Lize Eloff, and Melissa Attree, who contributed resources to this piece, as well as all of you who gave me helpful suggestions on Twitter and Facebook.* ### How much does it cost to move overseas? URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-much-does-it-cost-to-move-overseas/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:43:48.000Z Hello, grownups :) How are you hanging in there, chaps? I've pretty much degenerated into a pile of snack-crumbs and blankets by this point. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/nightcheese.gif) Today I'm taking a question about the costs of moving to another country. > Hi Sam! I know you moved to the UK recently. I wondered if you'd be comfortable sharing a rough estimate of your moving budget? My husband and I are talking about making a similar move sometime next year, and it would help our planning to have a better sense of how much we'd need to save up for it. Why reader, I LOVE sharing my budgets! Queen of Overshare, right here. TL;DR: moving myself, my partner and our cat to the UK cost us about **R185,000**. I reckon if we'd been a bit more careful about a few things, we could have gotten that down to R150,000\. If we hadn't been so extremely lavish about it, we could have done it for R30-R50k. Here's a breakdown of what we actually spent, line by line. [Emigration Budgetmove COST (ZAR),SUPPLIER,NOTESMove CatVet bills, 3 163,CitivetCat’s flight, 18 597,PetPortCar rental from London to Cambridge, 3 853,We had a much cheaper car booked, but they wouldn’t accept our credit cards, so...![](https://ssl.gstatic.com/docs/spreadsheets/favicon3.ico)Google Docs![](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/wO9uM9h0ON2bXkLty2fPe3EkAiP6TrBYsXsIjNKFkCvlWzW5129DsBYT8TmuA5hvaGTAxW_KBg=w1200-h630-p)](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1LqNkEJPpveNlSkzpCzqYgyWXgiQVEZCJJvk1ROGXOV0/edit?usp=sharing&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Some notes on our budget: - We moved in January 2020\. Prices have probably changed a bit since then, already. - We moved from Cape Town, South Africa to Cambridge, UK. If you want to know why, [I wrote about that decision here.](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/when-should-you-buy-a-house/) - My household consists of me, my partner, and our cat (Sir Digby Chicken Caesar). - We did get a moving stipend from my partner's new company, so we were a bit less frugal than we would have been if it was entirely our own money. Your budget will depend on a few variables. Obviously, the biggest one is where you're moving to, but five other factors are: 1. How many people are moving? 2. How complicated is your visa situation? 3. Are you bringing pets? 4. Are you bringing any stuff? 5. Will you have to financially emigrate? Obviously, if you're 22 and single and naturally nomadic and you're just bringing your clothes, moving overseas is hella simple. I, however, am no longer 22, and I'm a *nester*, so my move required about as much planning as a space shuttle launch. Many spreadsheets were involved. ### Moving the people You might be tempted to book your flights far in advance so you can get the best deal on flight tickets. Resist this temptation. You can't fly until your visas are finalised and your pets are approved to travel (if you have pets), and both of these factors are hopelessly unplannable. This can all turn into some pretty complicated schedule-Tetris, so flights should be one of the last things you book. When you're building your budget, anticipate that you might need to pay a bit more than you think, in order to find a flight that works with your timing. It's worth paying for a couple of extra pieces of luggage to bring with you on the plane. You're not going to have anything except what you bring on the flight with you, for a long time. **Our flight costs for 2 people from Cape Town to London, including 1 excess bag, were R17,372.** ### Securing visas/residence permits My partner's an EU citizen (lucky bastard) so the entirety of his application took 40 minutes and was totally free. My own visa situation was a lot more complicated, so we decided it would be worth paying immigration consultants to talk me through the [Vogonesque](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vogon?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) application process. We used a company called [Breytenbachs](https://bic-immigration.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), who were knowledgable and reassuring. There were one or two small hiccups in the process, mostly because I made the questionable decision to try to move to England mid-Brexit, just as all their rules were changing. Overall, I was glad that there were people that I could call with my questions when things got confusing. That said, this did end up being one of the most expensive parts of the process. I'd suggest to someone else going through this process that it's worth paying for some specific **consultations** to clear up questions you have, but do the actual application process yourself. **My visa ended up costing us R16,838, but if we'd done more of the process ourselves we could have kept this under R10,000.** ![Photograph of Vogons from the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-33.png) Vogons AKA English bureaucrats ### Moving the cat Transporting my pavement-special cat across the world is probably the single most *boujie* thing I've ever done. It was also, without a doubt, the most stressful part of the whole experience. Would I do it all again? Absolutely. I love that little furry idiot. Different countries have different rules about what you have to do to import pets. For the UK, they don't have to be quarantined, but they do have to go for a series of shots and tests over the course of **four months** before they can fly. This ultimately ended up controlling our timelines - we were ready to go long before our cat was. So, if you're bringing a pet, getting the clock started on this process is the very first thing you need to take care of. It's also worth knowing that there are completely different protocols for travelling on the same day as your pet (you don't have to be on the same flight), or travelling separately to them. You have to decide early on which approach you're going to take, and if you're travelling together, don't book your own flight until you have solid timelines for your pet's. I did a lot of shopping around, trying to figure out if we could move the cat more cheaply by handling a lot of the admin ourselves. Ultimately, it didn't seem worth it, so we decided to go with pet transport company called [PetPort](https://www.petport.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) who walked us through the whole process from beginning to end. I can't recommend PetPort highly enough. They were proactive, helpful and communicative. We also got some good advice directly from our vet, who really went above and beyond for us (including rushing out to do a last-minute panicked house-call on the day before we needed to fly because I couldn't wrestle the damn hellcat into his carrier, and I had a one-hour window to get his papers signed by the state vet on the other side of town). **Overall, including vet bills, bringing our cat cost us (GASP) R25,613\. Ja, I know. I could have left the little shit behind and bought a literal tiger cub instead.** ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-29.png) Worth it. ### Bringing your stuff vs. buying new stuff I spent a lot of time debating the pros and cons of bringing furniture with us (this decision had a spreadsheet all to itself). Ultimately, here's what I decided: it's not worth bringing *anything* that's not priceless to you. Partly, that's just because of the timing. The fastest quotes we received promised to transport our things in 6 weeks (they lied). You can expect this to be more like 3 months at minimum, and several people I spoke to, who'd made similar moves, said it ended up being between 6-9 months (I'm 7 months in and counting, but to be fair, there was a whole global pandemic that slowed things down a bit). That rules out bringing your bed, unless you want to risk sleeping on the floor for half a year. You can't bring appliances, because the electrical outlets are different. So you're down to deciding whether to bring stuff like a couch, dining table, desk, etc. If you own some very expensive furniture, or priceless family heirlooms, then sure, bring it all with you, but assume you'll have to live without it for a long time. That might mean moving into a furnished apartment at first, or really embracing minimalism for a while. I own a couple of heirloom armchairs, many boxes of books and some artworks that fall into the "priceless to me" category, so we decided to bring over a container of non-essentials, but to re-buy all of our basics (like a new couch) in the UK. Because we weren't paying for this part of the move ourselves, I chose a company that wasn't the cheapest but purported to be the fastest. This was a huge mistake. They've been a nightmare to deal with, and cost **R21,148.** If I did this again, I would have just booked a medium-sized [MoveCube](https://www.sevenseasworldwide.com/moving/movecube/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for my sentimental shit (which would have cost me **R11,862**), expected it to take 6+ months to arrive, and bought everything else from scratch. Really, if you're not that attached to your stuff, by far the easiest thing to do is sell or give away *everything* and start fresh on the other side. The tragic fact is that you will get almost nothing for selling everything you own, and it will cost you a lot of money to replace it all. You can mitigate that somewhat by being thrifty about what you buy, but you've got to balance thrift against how big your schlep appetite is. For furniture, I'm a big believer in buying quality brands, second-hand. When I moved to Cape Town, I bought a used Coricraft couch for R3,000 through Gumtree. Four years later I sold it for R2,300\. Compare that to the new R2,000 bookshelf I bought from Mr Price Home that I ultimately got R200 for. I made about R12,000 selling almost everything I owned back in Cape Town. We also sold our car, which got us an extra R60,000. Fitting out a new house for two people in the UK cost us about R50,000, with a mix of charity shop finds, TK Maxx and Ikea. **Transporting our sentimental stuff and buying new household stuff cost us R74,662 in total. We could have saved R10,000 by going with a different shipping company (and I'm kicking myself that we didn't). We probably could have spent a bit less kitting out our home if I'd had more time to spend in charity shops before everything locked down.** ### Finding somewhere to live It's difficult to flat-hunt from afar, so it can be smart to send one person ahead to stay in an AirBnB for a few weeks while they lock down a place to live, before the rest of you arrive. We did that, and it cost us an additional **R11,937**. When you do find a new house or flat to rent, you'll need to pay a deposit on it. Ours cost **R36,898** including the first month's rent. Cambridge rents aren't cheap, yo. You should be able to offset this by getting the security deposit back on your old South African flat. **Overall, the cost of finding and securing a new place to live came to R48,835.** ### Financial emigration This could be a whole post on its own, but basically, know that if you want to take all of your financial assets out of the country (for instance, you want to move your retirement savings to your new home) you will have to apply for a process called financial emigration. When you financially emigrate, you will have to pay capital gains tax on these assets. Depending on what assets you own, this could mean an eye-wateringly huge tax bill, and it is not a decision to be taken lightly. The good news is that you can move overseas without immediately applying for financial emigration, and for most people, it's a good idea to first move, find your feet and figure out your life plans before you initiate this process. Figuring out what makes the most sense for you can be complicated, so talk to an expert if you need advice. I got excellent support from a business called [Creative CFO](https://creativecfo.com/collections/international-tax?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), who charges a transparent **R750** an hour (I love transparent pricing when it comes to financial advice). ### So, was it worth it? In reality, our move didn't really cost us R185k, because we had a moving stipend, the R70k from selling our car and furniture, and the returned security deposit on our SA flat, all of which offset our costs. But if you're thinking about making a similar move yourself, that's a reasonable estimate of what you'd need to have saved up, if you wanted to follow a similar process. Or you could keep things really simple, sell all your shit, move into a furnished flat, and just take yourself and some bags, in which case you really only need about R30-R50k. Everyone's financial life is different. Spending nearly R200k to move to a different country might seem like an insane waste to you, or it might seem totally worth it. It was worth it to us, in the long run, and we were very lucky to have the savings and moving stipend so that we could. I really believe that being more open and transparent and honest about how we spend our money helps to demystify it, and helps other people have the information they need to make better decisions. I hope that lifting up the lid to show you the real money I spent (including the dumb spending mistakes I made) is helpful to at least one of you, somewhere! I guess the moral of the story is, never get a cat. Wishing you Vogon-blasters, warm weather and lots of spreadsheets, Your friend Sam --- ## Updates from Sam-land Friends, I had the best birthday! We tried punting on the river Cam, and I learned that I am extremely talented at punting... if what you want is for the punt to spin in place in the middle of the river 😂 Thank you for all of your birthday wishes and thoughts. They brightened my day. - [I wrote a list of all the books I've been reading](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/reading-binge-lockdown-edition/), if you're looking for a new read. - Friends who've managed the admin around a loved one's death, what are your best tips for someone going through it? I'm compiling a simple checklist for my next week's newsletter, and would love all of your suggestions. Emotional things too! [Pop me an email](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/contact/) if you've got any advice to share. - The main thing I've been doing is working on the novel I'm writing with my buddy [Dale Halvorsen](https://www.dalehalvorsen.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). We're **48,696 words** into the draft, and trying to push ourselves to write 2,000 words a day. It's still a total mess, but we're having *so much fun*. - Lettuce, our little app that helps you to track your investments, just launched [multiple portfolios](https://lettuce.money/what-can-you-do-with-multiple-portfolios/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), so now you can track assets in different currencies, or for different purposes. We'll be starting a new sprint on 13 July, and I'd love to hear what features you'd like us to build for you. [Let us know here](https://community.lettuce.money/post/what-would-you-like-lettuce-to-focus-on-next-5ef0c1efc0d8c33ee354f6bd?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - *Manage Your Money: Teens Edition* is going to the printers **NEXT WEEK! WHEEEE!** ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-32.png) I've been experimenting with drawing random body parts with pastels, recently. Behold all these excellent noses and boobs! ### Reading binge! Frantically-trying-to-avoid-the-news edition URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/reading-binge-lockdown-edition/ Last updated: 2020-10-15T08:42:07.000Z Things I've been reading in a frantic effort to not engage with anything that is Happening in the World right now. ![Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/06/image-3.png) ### [*Station Eleven* \- Emily St. John Mandel ](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20170404-station-eleven?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) A novel about a travelling Shakespeare troupe who perform for the settlements that remain 20 years after a virus has wiped out 99% of the world's population. Look, some people think it's a crazy time to be reading books about plagues, but I found this one exceptionally comforting. Sure, there's some of the usual post-apocalyptic violence and mayhem, but it's ultimately a hopeful book, less interested in exploring the ways that civilization can crumble than in how art perseveres. ![Swing Time by Zadie Smith](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/06/image-5.png) ### [*Swing Time* \- Zadie Smith](https://www.goodreads.com/book/photo/28390369-swing-time?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) I adored this bildungsroman about childhood friends who grow apart, while remaining witness to each other's increasingly different lives. Zadie Smith has a brilliant knack for writing about how everything's relative: success, race, power. ![Autumn by Ali Smith](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/06/image-4.png) ### [*Autumn* \- Ali Smith](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/28446947-autumn?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) This is the first book of Ali Smith's "Seasonal Quartet", novels that she wrote almost in real-time. So this one, which came out in 2017, is about Brexit. That's an interesting experiment by itself: can you understand the time you're in, as you're living through it? The characters, a 30something woman and her close friend who happens to be a 70something man, are united in their love of art and befuddled by the times they're living through. It's loose, not very plotty, quite improvisational, Impressionist. It's an odd book but I liked it. Ali Smith is a remarkable writer, and every sentence is packed with insight. ![The Fifth Season by N. K. Jemison](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/06/image-6.png) ### [*The Fifth Season* \- N. K. Jemison](https://www.goodreads.com/book/photo/19161852-the-fifth-season?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Gosh, this book was a revelation. It's epic fantasy about a world defined by climate instability and natural disasters (called, ironically, The Stillness). Jemison is also a psychologist and writes characters that felt completely real and true. It's a powerful exploration of oppression and resistance, and it was utterly, utterly absorbing. ![Afterland by Lauren Beukes](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/06/image-8.png) ### [*Afterland* \- Lauren Beukes](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52990071-afterland?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Look, I can't even pretend to be objective about this one because Lauren is one of my favourite human beings in the world AND my favourite writer. But *Afterland* is a masterpiece. The thing I've always loved about Lauren as a writer is she is so confident in how she tackles these huge, bold concepts (in this book: a global pandemic has wiped out 99% of men) but grounds them in lovable, humane characters you just adore and root for. So while this is a book with a huge "what-if" at its centre, it's mostly a story about a mother trying to protect her son. I also love the cover done by dear friend Anja (Nanna) Venter, whose rebellious style you might recognise from the illustrations in my book! ![Needful Things by Stephen King](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/06/image-9.png) ### [*Needful Things* \- Stephen King](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/28419239-needful-things?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) This overstuffed Monkey's Paw story was extremely not King's best, but I found it pretty interesting to think about *why.* It's far too long, for one thing. And so, so repetitive. The characters are more thinly drawn than usual, and most of them are thoroughly unlikeable. My favourite King is *Cujo* because of how absolutely taut and simple the plot is (mother and child are trapped in a hot car by a rabid dog). *Needful Things* is the exact opposite of *Cujo*: it's like an overstuffed bric-a-brac shop where King recycled every idea he'd already had, that had already found better expression in other books. There were some delightful moments in it anyway, and some wonderful "here are the private nightmares of each of these individual people" internal monologue stuff that King's brilliant at. ![We have always lived in the castle by Shirley Jackson](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-34.png) ### [*We Have Always Lived in the Castle* \- Shirley Jackson](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/89724.We%5FHave%5FAlways%5FLived%5Fin%5Fthe%5FCastle?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) This is a perfect book. It made me want to forsake all civilization and become a bog witch who lives on a diet of lost children. It's barely a novel; a novella really. Deliciously wicked. I loved every word. ![The Hunted by Gabriel Bergmoser](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-35.png) ### [*The Hunted* \- Gabriel Bergmoser](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/49097808-the-hunted?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Fun pulpy thriller about some cannibal bogons in a standoff with a small town petrol-station owner and his granddaughter. Fast-paced, and I found myself slipping into an Australian accent for several days afterwards. ![You by Caroline Kepnes](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-37.png) ### [*You* \- Caroline Kepnes](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/36430011-you?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Exactly as preposterous as the Netflix series that's based on it, but hell, it's a fun time. A dark twist on the romance genre that follows a stalker obsessed with an aspiring writer (who multiple other people seem to be stalking too). ![The Power by Naomi Alderman](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-38.png) ### [*The Power* \- Naomi Alderman](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29751398-the-power?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) This was my third re-read of this book, which is testament to how much I adore it. Naomi Alderman imagines what would happen if almost every teenage girl in the world suddenly developed immense physical strength (in the form of electric energy that can shock or kill at a touch). It's world-spanning, gripping and wise. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-41.png) ### [*The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires* \- Grady Hendrix](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/44074800-the-southern-book-club-s-guide-to-slaying-vampires?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Have you ever discovered a writer who it feels *writes books just for you*? Books that draw on all of the influences you love, featuring characters who feel like people you've met, including nods to all of your weirdest obsessions? Grady Hendrix is that writer, for me. *My Best Friend's Exorcism* remains my fave, but this is his next best. It's a book about a group of genteel middle-aged housewives in Charleston who start battling vampires. That might sound like a parody premise, but the brilliance of this book is how much it's not: it's an honestly moving, terrifying horror story that continues to surprise you to the very end. Its characters are the type of people who are often overlooked, underestimated, and dismissed. Here, we see how tough and resourceful this has made them. As Grady Hendrix said of this book: "I wanted to pit Dracula against my mom. As you’ll see, it’s not a fair fight.” That started me off on a whole Grady Hendrix spree, so I followed it up with: ![Horrorstor by Grady Hendrix](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-39.png) ### [*Horrorstör* \- Grady Hendrix](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13129925-horrorst-r?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) A haunted house story, except it's set in an Ikea. Creepy as heck, with some great comedy about how awful it is to work in retail. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-40.png) ### [*Paperbacks from Hell* \- Grady Hendrix](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/33670466-paperbacks-from-hell?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) A love-letter to 70s and 80s horror books. Every page features full-page reproductions of some of the most wonderful/trashy covers and short descriptions of some of their wild plots. There's some fascinating context about the different microgenres and how cultural interest in specific monsters followed social trends. ![Susan Sontag - Illness as Metaphor](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-50.png) ### [*Illness as Metaphor* \- Susan Sontag](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/119688.Illness%5Fas%5FMetaphor?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) A timely reminder, in these strange times, that our natural urge to moralize diseases is usually wrongheaded. Sontag wrote this in 1978 at the start of the AIDS crisis, and I've thought of it many times while watching people get furious at each other for not wearing masks/wearing masks/being too careful/not being careful enough/opening schools/not opening schools. A useful reminder that the enemy is the virus, and that diseases do not target people who deserve to get sick. ![Sarah Canary by Karen Joy Fowler](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-42.png) ### [*Sarah Canary* \- Karen Joy Fowler](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/119990.Sarah%5FCanary?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Set in a very wild America of the 1870s, this story follows an enigmatic (possibly magical) silent woman in a black cloak and the unlikely companions who follow her. It sketches some fascinating stuff about the history of that time, including asylums, 1870s feminists, tensions between Native Americans and Chinese labourers, and early zoos, but the plot never quite coheres into anything. It was interesting, but I much preferred Fowler's *[We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/16176440-we-are-all-completely-beside-ourselves?ref=sambeckbessinger.com).* ![The Forward Book of Poetry 2020](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-43.png) ### *[The Forward Book of Poetry 2020](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/43268772-the-forward-book-of-poetry-2020?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* On days when I've felt too anxious to get properly into a novel, I've been finding great solace sitting in the bath and reading poetry to myself out loud. There were some real gems in this collection of the best poems published in Britain over the past year, with lots of diverse, fresh voices. ![Curious Toys by Elizabeth Hand](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-44.png) ### [*Curious Toys* \- Elizabeth Hand](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41449426-curious-toys?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) A dark, dark adventure about a girl who survives the rough streets of 1915 Chicago by dressing like a boy, and tries to hunt a murderer-pedophile who kills little girls and dresses their bodies up like dolls. It was a really fresh perspective for a protagonist, and a setting I hadn't seen before. It sent me down a VERY DISTURBING rabbit hole learning stuff about the real-life Charlie Chaplin that I cannot unlearn (tl;dr, [prolific child rapist](https://newspunch.com/charlie-chaplin-child-rapist/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)). I liked it a lot, but again, it's DARK. ![Tinseltown by William J. Mann](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-45.png) ### [*Tinseltown* \- William J. Mann](https://newspunch.com/charlie-chaplin-child-rapist/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) I followed the rabbit hole about how messed up early Hollywood was to this true-life crime mystery about who killed William Desmond Taylor, the president of the Motion Picture Directors Association in the 1920s. I was especially interested in the stories of the ambitious young starlets looking for a chance to live a more free life than their mothers ever could have. I also read *[The Whole Equation: A History of Hollywood](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41241.The%5FWhole%5FEquation?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* by David Thomson but I found it tedious. ![The Cases That Haunt Us by John Douglas and Mark Olshaker](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-46.png) ### [*The Cases that Haunt Us* \- John Douglas and Mark Olshaker](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/94340.The%5FCases%5FThat%5FHaunt%5FUs?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) This book is a summary of the most famous unsolved crimes of history, from Jack the Ripper to Lizzie Borden and the Zodiac Killer, with some hypotheses by an FBI criminal profiler about who might have dunnit. The writer is EXTREMELY up his own bum about how clever he is, but it's a great primer about some of history's most twisty mysteries. It's a bit out of date now (at least one of the crimes has been comprehensively solved since the book came out) but a helpful start if - like me - you've half-heard of these crimes but don't know much about them. ![Why does he do that? by Lundy Bancroft](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-49.png) ### [*Why Does He Do That: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men* \- Lundy Bancroft](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/224552.Why%5FDoes%5FHe%5FDo%5FThat%5F?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Lundy Bancroft is a counselor who's spent years counseling abusers and the people they abuse. This is a guide to the logic that guides abusive behaviour (because rest assured, abuse is *strategic*, not the "loss of control" that abusers will have you believe it is). I read this book as research for a TV show I'm working on, but I've since recommended it to many friends as a practical guide to get out of difficult situations. It was incredibly tough to read, but insightful. ![A Curious HIstory of Sex - Kate Lister](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-47.png) ### *[A Curious History of Sex](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/50773748-a-curious-history-of-sex?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* \- Kate Lister Kate Lister runs one of my favourite Twitter accounts ([@whoresofyore](https://twitter.com/WhoresofYore?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)) and this book is a collection of amusing and weird facts from humanity's sexual history, including great **tit**bits like: why "warm the cockles of my heart" is actually [a really rude saying](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cockle%5Fbread?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), how Victorians thought the bicycle would drive women into a perpetual orgasmic frenzy, and where the term "monkey gland" comes from ([brace yourself](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serge%5FVoronoff?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)). It was great fun, and I can't wait to trot all of these out at parties. Sigh... remember parties? ### On drawing the moon and confirmation bias URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/on-drawing-the-moon/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:43:56.000Z Let me tell you about one of the most remarkable drawings I've ever seen: these watercolour studies of the moon that Galileo made in 1609, observing the moon through his telescope. All cultures have studied the moon, for as long as there have been people. Heck, there's even a basic [lunar map](https://www.knowth.com/lunar-maps.htm?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) carved into a cave in Knowth, Ireland that's 5,000 years old. ![Three drawings showing the lunar map carved into the cave in Knowth Ireland](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/06/lunar-map.gif) The carving at Knowth on the right, superimposed over a naked-eye map of the moon, source: Dr Philip Stooke But the thing that makes Galileo's drawing so remarkable is that the scientific consensus in his time was that the moon was a smooth sphere. So when he sat down, and carefully recorded what he actually saw, he was letting his eyes give him a piece of *new* information that contradicted what he thought he knew before. The shadows told him that the moon had mountains and valleys, just like the earth. **These six careful drawings revolutionized what western science knew about how the solar system works.**\* Look, the dude got some stuff wrong. He thought the darker, flatter areas were bodies of water (which, incidentally, is why the place the Apollo 11 landed was called the Sea of Tranquility). But it's still a pretty remarkable feat. I've been thinking a lot about **observation** recently. Partly because I've had some weird wibbly vision and light sensitivity thing going on for the past two weeks (possibly from an inner ear infection? My doctors are mystified!). And partly because the past few months of being stuck at home have given me a lot of time to slow down and just look at things, and try to actually see them. Seeing is something that happens in your brain, not in your eyes. Your eyes are sensors that give your brain information. Putting together all those sensory signals into something that makes sense is a *strange and mystical* process. Because a lot of the time, your brain is imposing ideas about *what you already believe* onto the signals you get. Look at this picture: ![A photograph of black and white splodges, that resolves into a picture of a dog if you look carefully](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/06/image.png) Mmm, splodgy! Just a collection of black and white splodges, right? # # # # # Until I tell you that it's a Dalmation. See it now? And the funny thing is, once you know it's a picture of a dog, you can't un-see it. Seeing is as much about **what you know**, as it is about **what you perceive**. One of my favourite examples of this is something called the Hollow Mask Illusion. You might know about this trick, but if not, PREPARE TO HAVE YOUR BRAIN MELTED, and watch this: What is this sorcery?! Your eyes only see in two dimensions, and your mind infers the third dimension based on clues like lighting and movement. But faces are such important images to our brains that most of us simply CAN'T see the inside-out face.\*\* Our brains *know* that they're looking at the inside of a hollow mask. They saw it spin around! But your brains is just so attached to the idea of what a face is that your brain is just like, NOPE. That's a face! It can't be hollow! I refuse to believe any information to the contrary! Wild, right? It's incredible how much we don't see. Because true seeing is hard work. It requires effort. Drawing or writing is one way to slow your brain down enough to actually look at something. This is why drawing has been such an important tool for science, throughout history: it forces you to slow down enough to notice how something *actually is*, rather than *how you think* it is. ![Birds, Insects, and Turtles Sketched from Life (寫生珍禽圖) by Huang Quan (黃筌) ca.903-965](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/06/image-1.png) Birds, Insects, and Turtles Sketched from Life (寫生珍禽圖) by Huang Quan (黃筌) ca.903-965 There's a bigger lesson for all of us here, beyond art or science. Because this isn't only true for vision, it's true for how we relate to the world. **Most of the time, you're just seeing what you expect to see.** When it comes to ideas, we call this **confirmation bias**: how you notice information that supports views you already have, and you don't notice information that contradicts what you already believe. It's why two people with contradicting beliefs can listen to the same debate and both walk away feeling like "their side won". We all do this, constantly. We do this in our relationships, when we read our partner's/family members'/friend's actions as being indicative of traits we already believe they have. We do this when we read the news or talk about politics. Entrepreneurs do this when they see only information supporting the necessity of their product, and ignore all evidence that their product actually doesn't solve anyone's problem. Scientists do this when they ignore or misinterpret data based on what they hope to find (although science is better than most disciplines at building processes to actively counteract confirmation bias). Investors do this when they ignore evidence that their strategies may lose money. Bosses do this when they allow their unconscious biases around race or gender to change how they perceive the competence of their employees. We do this, in a hundred large and small ways, every day. It's just how our brains work. But we can train ourselves to do it less, by slowing down, by trying to perceive without judging, by taking a minute to sit with the idea that the things we believe are true, might not be true. By drawing the moon, in all of it's bumpy glory, even though everything you know about the moon tells you that can't possibly be true. ![Galileo's moon drawing](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/06/image-2.png) So here's my challenge to you, this week: spend an hour observing something without judgement. Maybe that means drawing the moon, or a leaf, or just looking at something really closely that you've never looked at before. Maybe that means spending the week trying to see someone you live with in a different light (if you normally think of them as a lazy git, try to notice all the times they're not). Maybe that means taking a deeply-held political belief and actively seeking out (a good) opinion piece from the opposite point of view, and making a good-faith effort to understand it. Maybe it means reading a book written by someone who's had very different life experiences to you. Maybe it means taking some negative thing you believe about yourself and spending a week asking, what if the opposite's true? Reality is often much more interesting than we can imagine. Wishing you surprise and delight, Your friend Sam *\* Technically, some oke named Thomas Harriot observed and drew the moon's craters a few months before Galileo, but he sucked at drawing so to heck with him.* *\*\* Fun fact: some neurodivergent people actually can see a hollow face, but this is rare.* --- ### Updates from Sam-land Friends, it's been an odd few weeks for me. I've been battling this mystery-illness which is making it tough to look at screens for very long, which makes writing hard. My mum was quite ill with what we think was probably Covid, but she's much better now, and I can't begin to tell you how relieved I am. And it's a glorious midsummer, and I've been doing a lot of cycling and walking and eating the vegetables I grew MY OWN SELF in my garden, and watching my idiot cat pounce on grasshoppers, and drawing, and reading books, and working on my novel, and people in the UK have finally got the memo about wearing masks being a good idea, and things are slowly opening up again, and it's my birthday on Wednesday, and I will be turning the extremely ripe and crusty age of thirty-three, and I'm feeling full of gratitude to this whole ridiculous universe. ### Taking some of your money questions URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/money-questions/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:44:03.000Z Hello, grownups! Buddies, I've had *a week*. Today, I'm going to keep it simple and answer some questions you've sent me about money things. I'll write you a lovely, thoughtful email next week, promise :) Smooches! Sam \-- > Is there anywhere I can find a detailed description of how to use the Money Dashboard spreadsheet? I'm not entirely sure I understand how it all fits together. > > For example: how do I update the various columns of the doc to be current every month? (e.g. the Monthly Spending page has a "3 month average" column, which averages the next three columns/months; but those next three columns don't seem to update every month, so it seems that your "3 month average" will always be the first three months). I would assume the yellow column (in Monthly Balance Sheet and Monthly Spending) is always "this month", but how do we update the spreadsheet to reflect this, going forward? And what are the steps we need to take every month (regarding the Dashboard specifically)? I made you a full 30-minute video walkthrough, taking you through the money dashboard step-by-step. I hope that helps! > Could I please ask for your advice on 'Debt Review'? I've tried negotiating the debt payments down myself directly with the banks, but the debt review route seems to be the most viable. I've found a company who was recommended by the HR department at work, so I'm confident they're reputable. But is this a good idea? Debt review is definitely a good option in some situations. It all comes down to the specifics of the deal: how much they're going to charge you, versus how much you think you can reduce the interest by negotiating directly with the creditors. Since the lockdown happened, I've found that many debt providers are more willing to negotiate than normal [(for example, many are offering payment holidays)](https://city-press.news24.com/Personal-Finance/relief-on-debt-payments-20200327?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), because so many people are financially stressed. It might be worth trying one more phone call to the bank who you owe the most money to, before you go to debt review. Ultimately, the general rule of thumb is that the faster you can pay the debt off, with the lowest interest rate, is how you save the most money overall, but of course, you have to balance that against your need to keep paying your other bills month to month! I'd also suggest that you double-check whether [any of these suggestions](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/an-action-plan-for-the-newly-retrenched/) could help you, like checking to see if you have credit life insurance. But if you do decide to commit to debt review, it's not a bad thing! For many people, it's the best way to claw yourself out of a debt hole. There are some cons: I think the biggest one is that it can be hard to exit debt review if your circumstances improve. But with the wider economy being in such a state, it's probably more important to protect against the worst case scenario than to worry about the best case scenario. [Here's a good article ](https://mayaonmoney.co.za/2018/01/debt-review-success-story/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)with some more info about debt review, which I suggest you read. At my worst, I was more than R200k in debt (with a tiny income), and I know exactly how stressful it can be. One of the best things about going under debt review is that you stop getting those awful phone calls from debt collectors, which is a HUGE benefit for one's mental health! I'm beaming good wishes at you. It sounds like you're being thoughtful and doing your homework, which are the most important things to do. I wish you all the best. --- One last thing, loves: if you missed it, last week I uploaded a live video q&a I did with the magnificent money-savvy actor Francis Chouler about how to manage money as a creative freelancer. [You can watch it here.](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/artists/) ### You don't have to starve to be an artist URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/artists/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T10:22:35.000Z Making money through a creative career can seem mysterious, or like your only two options are: 1\. die of starvation in an artist's garret before being posthumously lauded as a creative genius, or 2\. become a sellout who enslaves their artistic energy to The Man selling - I don't know - Coca-Cola-flavoured toothpaste or something. This week, I sat down with actor and financial-savvy creative freelancer [Francis Chouler](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm3662636/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to discuss all of the LESS DRAMATIC options between 1 and 2\. I fell out of the stream halfway through (thanks, Internet) but Francis did a magnificent job sharing practical tips for managing your money as an artist, and how being in control of your finances can help you to live a more liberated creative life. As Francis so eloquently put it: > I didn't want to be a poor artist. I was very clear about that. My mother used to tell people that I was going to study acting, and they used to respond and say, 'But Francis got seven As for matric!', as if that's the thing you did because you couldn't get into a better degree. I really wanted to prove to those people - and to myself - that I could do something that I love and be financially stable and successful. And now, 14 years later, I understand that in order to be a successful artist you need to give yourself the gift of financial stability. You can watch the full chat here. ## The questions we discuss: 1. The sad reality in South Africa is that artists live from paycheck to paycheck. What practical advice would you give to artists to break this cycle? 2. How do you budget if you have an erratic income? 3. What is a credit score, and how do you build one as a freelance artist? 4. I know it’s important to save but as a young freelancer my income won’t be consistent. If I can’t know in advance how much I will get each month, is it better to invest in something where I pay SMALL amounts regularly OR BIG lump, sums irregularly (and whenever I can)? 5. Should I have a side-hustle? 6. Does the industry have a retirement fund that artists could belong to? As a creative freelancer, how do I save for retirement? 7. What insurance policies should I have, as a creative freelancer? 8. Can I trust financial advisors and brokers? 9. How should I deal with taxes? 10. I've been actively saving extra money in my house access bond. In my experience the interest on a bond is so high over time it makes sense to chop that down as fast as possible and then start saving elsewhere for independence. Considering I'm able to access the funds at any point, does this sound like a good plan? 11. How do you avoid people taking advantage of you? Most of these questions came from the brilliant, talented young theatre students from Oakfields College. And hey, if you've got a few spare bucks lying around, please consider making a donation to the [Theatre Benevolent Fund](http://tbfsa.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which aims to support all workers in the South African entertainment industry during times of need. ## Useful links mentioned: - [22seven](https://www.22seven.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- a free app for managing personal expenses - [Wave](https://www.waveapps.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- free accounting software for freelancers - [Transunion](https://www.transunion.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- a place to check your credit score - [A roundup of good savings accounts and investment funds for South Africa](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/good-funds/) - [Manage Your Money Like a F-cking Grownup](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/books/) - [Outvest](https://www.outvest.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [10X](https://www.10x.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- two good places to start your research around retirement annuities - [The Fat Wallet ](https://justonelap.com/the-fat-wallet-show/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)podcast - [South African Guild of Actors](https://www.saguildofactors.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ### On Twine, space mirrors, and the joys of making pointless shit URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-joys-of-making-pointless-shit/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:44:10.000Z Here's a fun bit of trivia: did you know that one of the *serious* ideas that scientists are discussing to slow the progress of climate change is to **put a fleet of mirrors into orbit around the earth**, to reflect sunlight away from the planet? Last year, I attended a conference in Annapolis about climate engineering. It was organised by the National Socio-Environmental Synthesis Center (SESYNC) - an academic group that tries to get different kinds of scientists to talk to each other about what they're learning in their different fields of research, and how it applies to climate change (like a singles mixer for ideas). They're specifically interested in how the things humans do (politics, economics, culture) interact with how the climate system works. We were talking about geoengineering, which means large-scale projects we might try to directly slow down or reverse climate change. The ideas for this fall into two major areas, which I'll foolishly attempt to summarise for you despite being EXTREMELY not a scientist. 1. **Carbon capture.** The earth got hot because we took a lot of the carbon that was stored under the ground in the form of coal and oil, and we burnt it so that all that energy ended up in the atmosphere, where it turned the air into a giant pizza oven that radiates the heat back onto the planet. Carbon capture means trying to pull those "greenhouse gasses" out of the atmosphere and stick them back in the ground. Major ideas around this include quite wholesome stuff like growing more plants (e.g. replanting trees across the Sahara desert, farming kelp in the ocean) and very high-tech stuff like building machines that could suck carbon out of the atmosphere and turn it into a liquid that we could store in the ground again. 2. **Solar radiation management.** This literally means that we make the earth more shiny, so that more of the sunlight is reflected away from the planet. No, I'm serious! You know how if you wear a white t-shirt on a hot day, you stay cooler than if you wore a black t-shirt? Same idea. If we could make the earth shinier, we could reflect more sunlight away from the planet and bring temperatures down. Things we could make shiny include the clouds above the ocean (by having ships constantly spraying ocean water up into the air), the upper atmosphere (having jets constantly circling the earth spraying a shiny aerosole) or the whole planet (with the swarm of space mirrors). Why scientists called this "Solar Radiation Management" rather than "The Planetary Sparkle Project" I'll never understand. Look, that's a quick explanation based on vague memories of stuff I heard about a year ago. If you want to read an actually fact-checked article on this, here's a helpful explainer: [What is geoengineering?Geoengineering aims to tackle climate change by removing CO2 from the air or limiting sunlight reaching the planet![](https://assets.guim.co.uk/images/favicons/fee5e2d638d1c35f6d501fa397e53329/152x152.png)the GuardianGuardian Staff![](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/static/sys-images/Environment/Pix/columnists/2010/11/10/1289389321529/Geoengineering-or-climate-006.jpg?width=1200&height=630&quality=85&auto=format&fit=crop&overlay-align=bottom%2Cleft&overlay-width=100p&overlay-base64=L2ltZy9zdGF0aWMvb3ZlcmxheXMvdGctZGVmYXVsdC5wbmc&enable=upscale&s=ce94afd5767756a0d15a15a71d3f80bc)](https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2011/feb/18/geo-engineering?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) There were three writers at this conference. Our job was to help the scientists take their models and simulations and think about how they could tell a story about what the future might look like. Because geoengineering might be wonderful: it might buy us some more time to wean ourselves off fossil fuels or help us restore some of the most badly-affected areas like coral-reefs... but it also might *accidentally end the entire human race*. ![A photograph of a ruined city in an ice age](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/05/image-8.png) Solar Radiation Management was what triggered the fictional ice-age in *Snowpiercer* We were working in groups, and our group was asked to consider how these geoengineering technologies might interact with socio-political forces like a universal basic income and xenophobia. And it felt like the best way to do that - in this *very serious* conference with *very serious* science people - was by making a Choose Your Own Adventure-style story! ![Covers of Choose Your Own Adventure Books](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/05/image-9.png) Did you ever read these things? You could make choices in the story, and then you'd turn to page 5 if you did one thing or page 6 if you did the other thing, and there were many different ways the story could turn out. Oh man, I was *obsessed* as a kid. Making branching narrative stories today is super easy. I use a free app called [Twine](https://twinery.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). You just write the little passages and connect them to each other with choices. It looks like chaos-spaghetti. ![A screenshot from Twine](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/05/image-10.png) This is what our geoengineering story looked like in Twine But then you export it and it comes out as a lovely web page, with links, that you can play with your friends or put on the internet. ![A screenshot of the geoengineering story in playable form](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/05/image-11.png) This was a page from our geoengineering story exported If you're curious, you can play through our [whole silly game here](https://bit.ly/2A8W0ch?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), but it was never intended to be shared with anyone. It was created in one day at the conference. It's full of in-jokes: someone made a joke about Bruce Willis being a climate terrorist that got completely out of hand, so you'll see that all the storylines culminate in Bruce Willis gifs. I don't know what to tell you. It was hilarious at the time. And I think there's a lesson in here about the joys of making pointless shit. I make truly terrible video games for fun, sometimes. I once made a game with my friend Bridget where you throw bloody tampons at Donald Trump's face (this was just after his "blood coming out of her... wherever" comments and we were MAD). I made [this Twine game](https://philome.la/greenhamsam/whoever-fears-the-store/play/index.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to try to describe how weird it feels to try to go to the shops when you've taken too much LSD. These games are terrible! I am never going to make a shred of money from them. I'm never going to pivot my career into becoming a game developer or change the world by making games about Bruce Willis. I just made them because they were fun, using beginner skills I learned over just a few days. But do you know what: sitting in that room with those incredible scientists making jokes about what would happen if Russia decided to use solar radiation management to take advantage of a boom in beach tourism, actually sparked some pretty insightful ideas. It led to conversations about how national protectionism would make it harder to co-ordinate a global geoengineering response, and how city pacts might bypass national governments completely. Joking about Bruce Willis got us talking about how dangerous solar radiation could be during a world war. Apparently some of them are writing academic papers about it now. Resist the voices that tell you be serious and focus on your "core skills" and only ever spend time learning things that will help you advance your career. It apparently takes 10,000 hours to master a skill, but you can learn the basics of almost anything over just a couple of days. And there is such joy and liberation at practicing skills you're terrible at, that are not your job, where you can be a complete beginner. So mess around. Paint things, even if it's impossible to tell what they are. Build a wonky camera obscura. Make a terrible video game and share it on [Itch.io](https://itch.io/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Watch some YouTube videos about whittling. It doesn't matter if you're too old to every be a professional guitarist: if you want to learn guitar, learn the damn guitar. Be adorably terrible at playing the guitar, and play songs for your family and make them smile. Who knows? Maybe one day those skills will come in handy in surprising ways. And even if they don't, I promise they'll make your life richer. Wishing you adventures of your own choosing, Your friend Sam. --- ## Updates from Sam-Land - Next Wednesday, **3 June**, I'm hosting a free webcast about how artists & creative freelancers can manage their money. [Sign up here](https://www.crowdcast.io/e/you-dont-have-to-starve?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - *Marvel's Jessica Jones: Playing With Fire* launches TODAY! I'm beside myself with excitement. You can [buy the season here](https://www.serialbox.com/serials/jessica-jones?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). I can't wait to hear what you think of it. - I've started podcasting with my business partner Simon Dingle again. They're very informal chats about productivity (mostly) but they're also just an excuse to hang out with one of my oldest and dearest friends. [Here's our latest episode](https://www.takebacktheday.co/56?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (about my new obsession with doomsday prepping). - Help us build your dream app for keeping track of your investments, by telling us about the features you want over on [the new Lettuce community](https://community.lettuce.money/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ### On water tanks and the joys of doomsday prepping URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/on-water-tanks-and-the-joys-of-doomsday-prepping/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:44:16.000Z Hello grownups! Greetings from day 4,305 of lockdown. How are you holding up? Like every other nerd who grew up in the 2000s, I've always loved post-apocalypse fiction. *[World War Z](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/8908.World%5FWar%5FZ?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=US5UScmXks&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* might actually be my favourite novel of all time (I just pretend that the movie doesn't exist). *[The Stand](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/149267.The%5FStand?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=Q8wSQYJ3pj&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, *[Hunger Games](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2767052-the-hunger-games?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=Kb3MYRxFLq&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [The Road](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6288.The%5FRoad?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=T9I02CWKxy&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, *[Oryx and Crake](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/46756.Oryx%5Fand%5FCrake?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=AQR47pyuHS&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, *[The Girl With All the Gifts](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4547056/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Blindness](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2526.Blindness?from%5Fsearch=true&from%5Fsrp=true&qid=WgCkSMmpVX&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, *[The Walking Dead](https://www.goodreads.com/search?q=walking+dead&qid=AtQrtrHzPi&ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Children of Men](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0206634/?ref%5F=fn%5Fal%5Ftt%5F1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*, *[28 Days Later](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0289043/?ref%5F=fn%5Fal%5Ftt%5F1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)*... oh man. I love that bleak shit. The grimmer the better. **SIDENOTE: Lauren Beukes just released a new book called *[Afterland](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/37946417-afterland?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* that imagines a world after a pandemic wipes out 99% of the male population. It's the best book of 2020 (and also eerily prescient) and you should buy it immediately.** But no matter how much I love reading about apocalypses (apocalypti?) I've always been pretty dismissive of people who actually take them seriously. Actual Doomsday Preppers. People with Go-Bags and bunkers. You know, insane people. Back in the long-ago time of January, one of my tangential Facebook friends started posting long rants about a new virus strain that was being reported in China, complete with alarmist exponential graphs and the prediction that this thing was about to spread across the world, and that it could kill millions of people. I nearly unfollowed him, convinced he'd been lost to the world of conspiracy theorists and kooks. But he turned out to be right, obviously. Which has made me rethink just how crazy it is to prepare for doomsday scenarios, after all. **So... this is all just a really long, convoluted way of confessing that I've started reading Prepper blogs.** I'm so sorry. I promise I haven't made a tinfoil hat, yet. My favourite Prepper blog is called [The Prepared](https://theprepared.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It features articles like: - [A checklist of supplies to keep in a bug-out bag](https://theprepared.com/bug-out-bags/guides/bug-out-bag-list/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [This guide to the proper use of a tourniquet](https://theprepared.com/survival-skills/guides/tourniquet/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [What to do if you get a warning that a hurricane will hit you in a couple of days' time](https://theprepared.com/emergencies/guides/how-prepare-survive-hurricanes/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [A roundup of the best containers for storing water in your home](https://theprepared.com/homestead/reviews/best-two-week-emergency-water-storage-containers/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) And at this moment in history, all of these articles feel surprisingly rational and sane to me. Okay, sure, that's probably because we're *all currently living through an actual doomsday situation,* so imagining other emergencies barely feels like a stretch of the imagination. I'll confess that some of the joy in reading this stuff is the same reason we've all been getting into baking bread and growing vegetables and basically turning into 18th century peasants as a form of recreation: it's the pleasant illusion of control in a world of inexplicable eldritch horrors. Also, who doesn't want to picture themselves as Sarah Connor? ![Sarah Connor](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/05/image-2.png) Disaster Prepping is really all about having cool sunglasses. But I've actually come around to the idea that Prepping is actually a pretty rational activity, for three reasons: 1. **It's actually very likely that you'll live through some pretty hectic emergencies (yes, on top of this one).** 2. **The worst time to prepare for an emergency is when the emergency is already happening.** 3. **Prepping can actually make your life better, even if the emergency never happens.** No, hear me out! I'm not crazy! I'M NOT CRAZY! *(she yells, wearing stained sushi-print pyjamas at 2pm)* ### You are likely to live through emergencies. The problem with apocalypse movies is that they're usually just *global* apocalypses. The End of the World. You and a rag-tag band of survivors fending off the zombies from the roof of an abandoned shopping mall. But it's not really the end of The World you've got to worry about, so much as the end of Your World. Most emergencies are pretty local, but they're still devastating. Over a long enough lifetime, you're likely to see at least a couple of them. There are just so many things that can happen: floods and fires and droughts and hurricanes and riots and wars and pandemics and heatwaves and earthquakes and [actual plagues of murder hornets](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/52533585?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (WTF, 2020?). In fact, most emergencies aren't even local, they're personal. There are times in my life I've needed to grab a bag and get out of my house in less than 10 minutes, unsure when I'd be back. Not because of an asteroid or even because of a house fire, but because someone in my family had an accident, and I've had to get on the first plane to a different city as fast as I could. It would have been damn useful to have a bug-out bag in those circumstances. Not necessarily one with a tarp and a water filter that will let me survive in the wilderness, but one with some pre-packed toiletries and important documents sitting in one place would have been extremely helpful. Add up the chances of all these emergencies, multiply this by the fact that **climate change affects us by increasing the chances of extreme local events**, and that [experts were warning for decades](https://www.nationalgeographic.co.uk/science-and-technology/2020/04/experts-warned-of-pandemic-decades-ago-why-werent-we-ready?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) that our increasingly interconnected/urbanised/meat-eating/post-capitalist nightmare world means that pandemics are increasingly inevitable, and the chance that you'll live through more emergencies in your life doesn't seem so unlikely. ![Buffy the Vampire Slayer quote Riley: "it turns out I suddenly find myself needing to know the plural of apocalypse"](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/05/image-6.png) Riley from *Buffy the Vampire Slayer* is all of us circa May 2020 ### The worst time to prepare for an emergency is when the emergency is already happening. Those of us who lived through the Cape Town water crisis (when our city nearly ran out of water) learned a valuable lesson: **you've got to install water tanks *before* there's a water crisis.** Once there's already a drought happening, you can't collect rainwater to fill your tanks with. Once there's already panic, you cannot find a water tank to buy for love or money. When there is an active emergency happening, everyone scrambles for the same emergency resources, at the same time. You know, what people are learning now about hand sanitizer, toilet paper and craft supplies. ![N.D. Mazin cartoon saying "don't wait for the drought to mend the dam!" - farmer's proverb](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/05/image-4.png) N.D. Mazin Sure, don't ruin the good times by ruminating on the doomsdays to come, but remember that you can't build up an emergency savings fund once you've lost your job. You can't buy disability insurance once you're already disabled. You can't buy bread flour when every other person in the damn world has also gotten super into quarantine-baking at the same moment. The minute the shops reopen and I'm allowed out of my house-prison, do you know the first thing I'm planning to buy? [This kiff water filtration set](https://www.amazon.com/o/ASIN/B07DKRRTHS/r-water-filters-20?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ### Prepping can actually make your life better, even if the emergency never happens. The image you have in your mind of a Prepper is probably someone with a lot of guns and a hoard of tinned beans hidden in a concrete-lined bunker, who believes that the government is secretly controlled by lizard-people, right? Sam, that's no way to live! I hear you say. And I agree with you! Thinking about emergencies all the time feels like a sad, anxious existence and I'd much rather keep thinking about nice things like the new season of *She-Ra.* **But what if you're not thinking about this stuff all the time; you're just thinking about it for, say, a couple of days a year, and you're using those couple of days to to the most effective things you can do, to make you more resilient in a disaster?** And in many ways, Prepping can actually be pretty rewarding even if the hurricane/next pandemic/fire/earthquake never arrives. Especially if you don't take the guns-and-beans approach, but rather take the make-friends-with-your-neighbours-and-learn-how-to-grow-your-own-food approach. Learning new skills like basic first aid is hella satisfying, it turns out. Tomatoes you grew yourself are much more delicious. Installing water tanks increases the value of your house. Not to mention how much better you'll sleep at night knowing that if things go to shit around you, you can be the badass who puts on your cool dark classes and says, "follow me if you want to live" in a casual way and then leads your plucky band of survivors to safety. Everyone wants to be that person! ## Welcome to #PrepperLife Yes, yes, I know that all of this is almost certainly just my own way of soothing my OVERWHELMING ANXIETY at how weird the whole world is right now. Bear with me. We've all got our coping mechanisms (it's an improvement on the first few weeks of lockdown, when my primary coping mechanism was reading the Entire Internet every morning). ![Viviane Schwarz's worry monsters](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/05/image-5.png) Viviiane Schwarz likes to make little monsters out of their worries; I like to make spreadsheets. Same thing really! But maybe Preppers really had it right all along. Maybe taking a couple of hours a year to assemble a bug-out bag isn't all that different to taking a couple of hours to apply for disability insurance (you've got disability insurance, right?). So if you want to join me in #prepperlife, here's what to do. The best way to prepare for emergencies is to do the stuff that will be the most *generally useful*, rather than focusing on specific scenarios. It's easy for our brains to trick us into thinking that specific things are more likely than general things. For example, what feels more likely? 1. That an emergency will happen that will mean you have to survive in your home with no outside supplies for 2 weeks. 2. That another global pandemic will happen a few years from now - and it will be even more deadly and spreadable than this one, so it's not safe for you to go to the shops for 2 weeks. In some ways, it feels easier to prepare for scenario 2, because it feels EXTREMELY REAL and possible to us right now. But actually, preparing for scenario1 covers scenario 2, as well as a bunch of other scenarios that might result in you needing to survive on the supplies in your home (you lose your job and can't afford to buy things; violent civil war; a natural disaster; hungry zombies). The good news is that there are some basics that you can put in place that will make it easier for your to get through a whole number of situations. My list includes these things: - Build an emergency fund. Including some actual cash. - Build a bug-out bag that allows you to leave your home at a moment's notice. - Store copies of your important documents somewhere safe (both in your home, and a copy that's not in your home). - Have enough supplies of food, water and basic medications to allow you to survive for 2 weeks in your home. This could extend to things like installing water tanks or buying water filtration devices if you're getting fancy. - Make sure you have basic supplies in your car/bike/office to handle emergencies (I used to keep a first aid kit in my car, and used it several times). - Get to know your neighbours. - Make sure that you have appropriate insurance. - Learn survival skills. Take a course in basic first aid. Try some multi-day hikes - it's a great way to practice living off the grid. Your own emergency preparedness checklist will look different to mine. [The Prepared](https://theprepared.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is a gold mine/rabbit hole of ideas. Please don't get obsessed with this stuff, or ruminate on it endlessly. But maybe spending a couple of days a year thinking about how you can reduce the impact of future emergencies isn't such a crazy use of your time. Or, you know, feel free to dismiss me as a ranting kook. 6-months-ago-me would have done the same. I'll just be over here, reading reviews of water tanks. Wishing you concrete bunkers and the Aqua Quest 10" x 10" Safari Tarp (it's the best one, apparently), Your Doomsday Prepper friend Sam. \-- ## Updates from Sam-land - It's storytime, kids! I'll be doing a live-read of my favourite bits of **[Marvel's Jessica Jones: Playing With Fire](https://www.serialbox.com/serials/jessica-jones?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* on the [Serialbox Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/serialboxpub/?hl=en&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) on Thursday 28 May, 9pm UK time. - Garden centres have opened up in the UK again. I can't stop buying plants. Someone's going to have to come over here and stage an intervention. ![Two people holding a cat](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/05/image-7.png) Family Portrait with Masks ### My actual daily routine under lockdown ⏰ URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/my-actual-daily-routine-under-lockdown/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:44:24.000Z Hello, grownups! This was going around Twitter the other day and it cracked me up. > Let us pause briefly and consider the sheer unadulterated fucking horror of being Kara [pic.twitter.com/rmjeBNh7oA](https://t.co/rmjeBNh7oA?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) > > — Emma Manzini (@EmmaManzini) [May 3, 2020](https://twitter.com/EmmaManzini/status/1257056579196772357?ref%5Fsrc=twsrc%5Etfw&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) We've all heard by now that routine is the best way to stay sane and give structure to your days when you're stuck in the same bloody place all the time. That's fine and dandy except if your daily routine involves eating lots of snacks. So in the spirit of honesty, here's a pretty accurate rundown of what a normal day looks like for me in lockdown. I wake up at 5:30am on most days. Always have (I come from a family of farming people). This is especially easy at the moment because of this: ![Sun Graph London](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/05/image-1.png) Sun Graph sourced from [https://www.timeanddate.com/sun/uk/london](https://www.timeanddate.com/sun/uk/london?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) But do you think I use all this extra time to do glorious and productive things? Do you think I use this time to practice mindfulness meditation or yoga stretches or working on my novel? NOPE! But I sure do use this fact as a self-loathing stick to beat myself with all day (*you don't even have any EXCUSE - you wake up at 5:30am JEESH why aren't you DOING MORE WITH YOUR LIFE*). ### Mornings - Wake up. Find that my cat is sitting in the corner of the room staring at me (How long does he do this before I wake up every day? It's a mystery). Make awkward eye contact. Feel shamed into getting up to turn the bath tap on for him. - Walk to my study and check my messages (I keep my phone in another room at night as extra motivation for getting out of bed). - Cat is at peak cuteness for the day and insists on being picked up and held. Wander around the house showing him interesting things and telling him what a Handsome and Important Boy he is. - Make my first cup of coffee. "Coffee" is a generous term. It's freeze-dried Nescafe Gold and I drink approximately 63 cups of it over the course of the day. - Cram some of last night's dinner into my face. - Let cat out so he can try (and fail) to kill bugs in the garden. - Drop off a cup of coffee next to my partner and pepper him with questions about his dreams (he's usually still sleeping at this point, cursing my existence). - 50% of the time: be very wholesome and responsible and write [Morning Pages](https://juliacameronlive.com/basic-tools/morning-pages/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), get dressed then get straight to work. 50% of the time: climb back into bed and watch 3 year old [John Oliver](https://www.youtube.com/user/LastWeekTonight?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) videos for several hours. - At 6:30ish on a good day, 9:00ish on a YouTube-hole day: **do the best 2 hours of work I'll do.** Because I know this is my best working time, I try to use this time for writing, and make sure that I haven't checked my inboxes yet, so I can focus on what's most important to *me* rather than to someone else. ### Daytime - At the point when I find myself getting distracted and opening Twitter (usually around 10:30) I have a stretch and go chat to my partner, who is now actually awake. - After my break, I deal with my inboxes (Slack/WhatsApp/email/Asanas/Zenhubs etc.) and make a to-do list for the rest of my day. I'm wildly overambitious about how many things I'm going to accomplish. I usually try to put a couple of fun things on the list, too, for motivation. - Cat returns from attempted bug murder spree and takes up his customary position snoozing on my desk/on my laptop. - Do tasks until lunchtime. - Okay, I said lunchtime, but I actually mean 11:30, because I am a tiny child and I get ravenous (also, may I remind you that I wake up at 5:30). Make a salad with avocado and chia seeds and microgreens (LOL NOPE it's probably a hunk of bread with some mustard smeared on it if I'm feeling FANCY). - Take a break. Potter around the garden and threaten my plants into growing better (I believe threats work better than compliments). Wash the dishes if the situation has become truly dire. Watch TikToks with my partner. Stare out the window saying wistful things like, "remember restaurants?" - Get back to work. Do more tasks, but it's diminishing returns for the rest of the day, honestly. - Get bored. Start hunting for snacks / making "motivation playlists" / reading the news and then cursing myself for reading the news. - I try to schedule meetings from 3-6pm, because I have no energy for anything else by this point. - Call it quits at 6ish on a productive day or 4:30ish on a less productive day. One day I aspire to have a writing hut like Roald Dahl. ### Evenings - Let the cat out for his evening zooms. - Try to hype myself up enough to go for a run. *It's a chance to go outside! You always feel better when you do it! You don't want to die at 40 because what if Nick Cave brings out another album and you never get to hear it BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAD FROM NOT RUNNING!* Succeed about 30% of the time. If I do go for a run, I usually combine it with some Nature Thievery (bringing home a bit of a plant because I'm trying to learn the names of all the local flora). - Draw the spoils of my Nature Thievery. - Try to maintain the remnants of a social life over Zoom. Right now, that involves a lot of [pub quizzing over Twitch](https://www.twitch.tv/jonkeevy/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and playing [Don't Starve Together](https://store.steampowered.com/app/322330/Dont%5FStarve%5FTogether/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) with friends. - Have dinner with my partner and cat. Make a large portion "so that we have enough leftovers for lunch the next day." Proceed to eat everything except for a token few mouthfuls that will sit on the counter overnight until I eat them for breakfast tomorrow. - Wash the dishes like responsible adults!\* - Favourite time of the day: climb into the bath with my book. Stay there until I have dissolved into Sam Soup. After living through the Cape Town water crisis, I am determined to enjoy as many baths in my life as possible. - Climb into bed and retract all limbs under the covers. Exclaim loudly to my partner, "Look, I'm a blanket worm! I have no arms!" He'll laugh, even though I make this joke every single night. Bless his socks. - Watch the first 9 minutes of an episode of *Buffy the Vampire Slayer* until I fall asleep. - Yes, it's probably 9:30 at this point. Fuck you, I woke up at 5:30. \*HAHAHAHA nope. Wishing you snacks and a better daily routine than mine, Your friend Sam --- ### Updates from Sam-land - *[Marvel's Jessica Jones: Playing With Fire](https://www.serialbox.com/serials/jessica-jones?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* is coming out on May 28! You can pre-order the whole season now. I also [wrote a small piece](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/on-superheroes-and-the-joys-of-writing-with-others/) about how much fun it was to write for my favourite Super Hero. - I'm going to be hosting another livestream fundraiser next week, this time talking money basics for artists & other creative types. I'll share more details with you about this soon, but please spread the word to your artist buddies. - Some of you have been asking about this - fear not, *Manage Your Money: a Guide for Teens* is still coming out in September! - I've been working on another top-secret thing that I can't tell you about because it might not happen and I don't want to jinx it but I am so freaking excited. There's a big important meeting tonight. I'm even going to wear make-up and a bra. Hold thumbs for me. ![Photo of a cat on a laptop](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/05/image-3.png) Sir Digby Chicken Caesar: Desk Cat ### Oh Hey, What's This, A New Website? 👻 URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/oh-hey-whats-this-a-new-website/ Last updated: 2025-08-29T15:00:46.000Z Hi grownups :) Like many of you, I've had too much time on my hands recently, so I decided to to finally tackle a long-overdue project: rebuilding this damn website. I wanted it to be simpler, more content-focussed, and more centred on YOU, the bloody magical community that exists around this. I fucking love you guys - I love your questions, your words of encouragement, and your stories. You're the reason that I keep writing. I've also been looking for a way to build a sustainable income stream from blogging and podcasting, that doesn't rely on 1\. advertising (vom) 2\. me making a commission by convincing you to buy stuff (double-vom) 3\. only doing talks (sometimes ACTUAL VOM, because I'm basically Eminem from that 8 Mile movie and I find public speaking stressful as heck). ![Eminem vomiting spaghetti](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2021/06/image-12.png) it me So, here's the plan: **I'm turning *Like a Fucking Grownup* into a paid publication**. It feels like the fairest, simplest way to keep doing what I want to do, and I'm excited about growing it into something bigger and more consistent. Here's the plan: - I'll be taking questions from members. Here's me answering a question from someone who asked: ["The market crashed. Should I buy the dip?"](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-market-crashed-should-i-buy-the-dip/) If you want your questions answered, just email **hello@likeafuckinggrownup.com.** - Exclusive articles that are just for members, like this one where I talk about [why sketching feels like the perfect metaphor for what we're living through](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/when-sketches-are-better-than-paintings/). - A weekly newsletter! Yes, weekly. I promise. - Cat photos. You're getting these whether you want them or not, sorry :) - And of course, there will still be occasional free articles, like this one: [An action plan for surviving Covid-19 financially](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/an-action-plan-for-the-newly-retrenched/). Normally, I'm going to try charging £2 a month for membership. But here's the deal: **because you're already here, and you've been supporting me from the beginning, you get a free membership.** It's my way of saying thank you. Your account is already set up on the site, so just [go ahead](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/) and log in with this email address, and you should have access to everything. And if you want to help this thing get momentum, and make sure that I can spend more time doing this and less time on all of my other hustles, and if you want there to be a season 2 of the podcast, here's what I'm asking from you: **please recommend this site to a friend, and encourage other people to sign up.** I love doing this work, and you're the reason I can keep doing it. So, from the bottom of my shrivelled little heart: thank you. I hope you're doing okay out there. Your friend Sam **PS: This is a new website, so there are a bajillion bugs.** If you find one, please let me know, so I can fix it! Thanks! And for the nerds amongst you who are curious, the site's built as a custom theme on [Ghost Pro](https://ghost.org/pricing/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), with Stripe managing the payments. ### An action plan for surviving Covid-19 financially URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/an-action-plan-for-the-newly-retrenched/ Last updated: 2020-05-06T09:03:53.000Z Oh friends, I know how hard it is right now for so many of you. I know that so many of you have seen cherished careers evaporate in front of your eyes. I know that many of you are suddenly supporting wide family networks. I know some of you have lost your retirement savings. I know that even those of you who still have jobs are anxious and scared. I wish I could wrap each one of you up in a giant hug. It's all so horrible. This is not your fault, and please don't let anybody make you feel guilty or ashamed or like you should somehow have pre-empted this, or saved more, or taken out different insurance. The economy has been failing so many for so long, and it's not your fault if you entered this crisis with no financial safety net. **There are no easy or quick solutions here.** Everyone who gives advice right now is also just guessing (including me), because none of us have been through this before. But if you're feeling overwhelmed, here's a step-by-step guide to building your own Covid-19 financial action plan. ### Step 0: Take a breath If you are on fire, and your house is also on fire, you have to put out the fire on yourself first. You are not going to be any good at firefighting until you do that. You have to fix your mental health before you can worry about your financial health. If you're panicking, call a mental health hotline or a therapist (most of them are still seeing patients over the internet). Use technology to connect with your loved ones. Work on building a routine around exercise, and some structure in your day. Don't attempt the rest of your steps until you're feeling okay. John Green - mental health tips from people who've been there ### Step 1: Build mission control The worse things are, the less we want to confront reality. This is the instinct you need to fight. You need a dashboard that shows you, clearly, exactly how much money you have, where it's going, and how long it will last you. I want you to know, at a glance, what your **runway is**: if you lost your job tomorrow, how many months could last, living off your savings? Here's how you calculate that: - Add up the money you have in **savings**. I'm talking here about money that's easily accessible cash: so bank accounts, savings accounts, money market funds, that kind of thing. Don't count your investments, because *now is the worst possible time to be selling assets.* **This is number A.** - Set up an app that tracks and categorises your spending automatically, if you haven't already. Work out what you're spending every month (use the average of your past few "lockdown"/"shelter-in-place" months, it's hopefully less than your usual spending). **This is number B.** - Divide A by B. That's how many months of runway you have. This is the number I need you to be focusing on over the next while. Normally, I suggest that you aim for a runway of 3-6 months. But depending on where you live, and what industry you work in, and how many other people rely on you, it might be a good idea to temporarily increase this goal. **Write down your runway goal, somewhere between 3-12 months, whatever makes sense for your personal circumstances.** If your runway is less than 3 months (it might even be a negative number, that's okay), then you also want to start listing the lines of credit you can access. Note down how much you think you can access (e.g. what's your credit card limit? How big is your access bond?) and rank them according to how **expensive** each line of credit is (that is, what the interest rate will be). Hopefully, you don't need to start tapping into your credit immediately, but it's helpful to have this information ready before you need it. If you've already hit your runway goal (lucky you!) you've got two options: - Donate the excess (more on this below). - Invest the excess [(read this article)](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-market-crashed-should-i-buy-the-dip/). ### 2\. Cut the waste Any expenses that are not adding joy, meaning or psychological comfort to your life, need to go. Now. This is not the time to be wasting cash. Open up the app that's automatically tracking your expenses (or your bank account statement) and go through it, line-by-line. Interrogate every expense, and ask yourself: 1. Do I need this? 2. Could I reduce this? Some concrete ideas: - Negotiate a discount on any services you're under-utilizing (e.g. your car insurance) or cancel them completely. - Shop around online for cheaper services. What you should **not do** is stop paying your domestic worker or childminder, if you have one. If you have debts, and you're not sure you'll be able to pay them next month, contact your creditors asking for debt relief. Most creditors are offering payment holidays or restructured repayment terms. But be proactive, and contact them long before your payments are due. I've heard stories of landlords allowing rent deferrals, too. Most countries currently have a moratorium on evictions, so stand your ground if you can't afford to pay rent at all, right now. Don't restructure your debt unless you need to, because you'll likely end up paying more interest in the long run. Remember, the longer it takes you to pay off a debt, the more expensive that debt is. ### 3\. Diversify your income Here's the truth, folks: *nobody really knows* what parts of the economy are going to be affected by this. No-one's job is 100% secure any more. If you do not have a side-hustle, now is the time to start a side-hustle. My suggestion is to try a lot of small experiments to see what sticks. My friend Nic Harry recently published an ebook called *[How to Start a Side Hustle](https://nicharalambous.com/side-hustle?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* which might help. [Here's an interview with him](https://www.capetalk.co.za/articles/380465/how-to-start-a-side-hustle-in-south-africa?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) with some of the highlights. ### 4\. Claim any money you're entitled to This is dependent on where you are, but there might well be grants or insurance payouts you can apply for. Do your research, and make a list of anything you might be eligable for. In South Africa, here are some options to look at: - [**UIF**](https://www.ufiling.co.za/uif/how-to-apply?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- the employer applies for this, not the employee. If you've had to retrench a domestic worker, for instance, apply for UIF on their behalf. - **Income protection insurance** \- if you can't work because of the lockdown, *some* income protection policies will pay out, although many aren't paying out unless you actually contract Covid-19\. Either way, contact whoever sold you your insurance, if you have this, and ask. - **Credit life insurance** \- if you have debts, there's a good chance that you have credit life insurance on them. Credit life insurance is supposed to pay off your loans if you're retrenched or if you die, but many banks are honouring claims for people who are temporarily unable to work because of coronavirus. [Here's some more information about this](https://www.dispatchlive.co.za/news/2020-04-03-forget-expensive-payment-holidays-claim-on-your-credit-life-cover-instead/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). If you have debts, find out whether you have credit life insurance on them. - **Small business COVID-19 relief funding** \- [the application form is here.](https://smmesa.gov.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - **SASSA grants** \- [some more information about other SASSA grants are here.](https://www.gov.za/coronavirus/socialgrants?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) There are dozens of global funds that have sprung up to help people in specific circumstances, so do some Googling around your unique circumstances, too. For instance, here's a roundup of [**relief grants for artists.**](https://www.arts.gov/covid-19-resources-for-artists-and-arts-organizations?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ### 5\. Support the most vulnerable None of us can get through this alone. If the economy falls to pieces, no amount of cash or TP you've personally stockpiled is going to help you. All of us need to do what we can to support the people who are more vulnerable than we are. Part of your COVID-19 action plan should be your personal strategy for helping others. How you can help depends on where you are, what resources you have, and on your own health (mental as well as physical)! Here are just a few ideas: - **Volunteer** for your local Community Action Network / Mutual-Aid Group. - **Donate** your money to emergency relief organisations - globally, you could look at the [WHO/UN Solidarity Response Fund](https://covid19responsefund.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Partners in Health](https://www.pih.org/article/pihs-emergency-coronavirus-response?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or [s](https://www.actionaid.org.uk/donate/emergency/coronavirus-appeal?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)ome of the others mentioned on this roundup from [80,000 Hours](https://80000hours.org/articles/covid-19-options-for-donating/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - Support the **small businesses** you love. This can mean buying vouchers from shops that are currently shut down, tipping delivery drivers EXTRA well, and buying art directly from artists (for instance, Bandcamp has waived their fees temporarily). - **Campaign** for long-term, structural change. The world might come through this emergency more unequal, more divided, and more angry, or we might come through this better prepared to fight for climate justice and inclusive economies and the long-term sustainability of the human race. That's up to us. Strange as it seems, now is exactly the right time to be listening to activists and getting more involved in local politics, and fighting to build the kind of world we believe in. ![Linocut Tara Weinberg Physical Distancing Social Solidarity](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/05/physicaldistance.jpg) A gorgeous linocut by my friend Tara Weinberg My friend Tara Weinberg made this linocut, and I love it so much. You can [download a high-res version here](https://www.backabuddy.co.za/social-solidarity-in-a-time-of-covid-19?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to print out and stick up in your home, window, car or office, and Tara's raising money for Gift of the Givers. Good luck out there, friends. I'm rooting for every single damn one of you. ### When the world is in flux, a sketch is better than a painting URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/when-sketches-are-better-than-paintings/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:44:35.000Z I've been talking to a lot of friends who've said that the projects they were working on pre-lockdown now feel pointless. Someone who was about to launch a business that now can't open; someone who was about to appear in a movie that now can't be filmed; someone who was working on a theatre show that can't be performed; someone who was writing a book that now feels like it was written for a world that doesn't even resemble this one any more. I think all of us are experiencing some flavour of this, right now. The world is changing so much every day that it's impossible to make plans. It's impossible to work on a project if you're not sure whether that project will mean anything a month or two from now. What if you start writing a film script but the local movie industry collapses and you'll never get it made? What if you start a business selling Zoom classes, and the lockdown ends next month? What if you start making masks only for a new study to come out saying masks are useless, and the thing that *really* wards off the coronavirus is aggressively doing the Hokey Pokey at it?\* *\*(This is a joke, please do wear your masks, stay at home, and don't drink bleach).* All of this reminds me of trying to draw my cat. One of my great Quarantine Joys has been getting really, *really* into drawing again. Drawing, for me, is a way that I practice mindfulness. I'm more interested in the process than the outcome (GOOD THING TOO because the drawings that result are loveable monstrosities). Drawing is how I get my brain to shut the hell up and just look at something for a few minutes. And being able to shut my brain up has been especially useful recently. So I've been trying to draw my cat, because... well, obviously. But what you have to understand about my cat (AKA Sir Digby Chicken Caesar AKA The Spoopy AKA *fuck ow get your claws out of my shoulder* AKA the love of my life) is that he never sits still. He's a very *Busy and Important Cat* with very *Urgent and Necessary Cat Business* to attend to at all times, constantly moving and grooming and shifting and stalking and twisting. Even when he sleeps, he twitches. I've really wanted to do a detailed, accurate drawing of him, but it's impossible. By the time I'd captured exactly how the light shines on his whiskers, he would have moved them. By the time I'd figured out the shape of his tail, he'd have tucked it under his butt. He's an infuriating model. Impossible to paint. But I've been having so much fun sketching him. Quick outline drawings, completed in a minute or two, that capture the shape of his shoulder in the few seconds before he shifts his weight, his sweet little cat croissant shape before he flops his belly up, the huge arc of his mouth mid-yawn. Sketches. Ephemera. Little attempts to capture a fleeting moment, knowing the moment is going to pass in just a few seconds. ![Sketches of my cat grooming himself](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/05/digby.jpg) Cat poses I've been trying to apply this principle to the rest of my life right now, too. I can't write my novel right now - it's too big, its edges keep shifting before I can pin them down. A novel is an attempt to say something about the world and how people are, and my thoughts about the world and people change every single day. But I can write little poems. Short-short stories. I can fill a page with observations of the wildflowers growing on my lawn. I can't plan for what my business will need to look like over the next year, but I can think about how to get enough cash in to pay salaries next month. I can't book flights to go to my brother's wedding in October, but I can send him a dumb list ranking the best practical jokes he pulled on me as a kid, to make him smile. Sometimes you have to give up on long-term plans or big projects. When the world is in flux, make sketches, not paintings. **Psst... want to get into drawing as a mindfulness activity?** - Get a copy of *[Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/627206.The%5FNew%5FDrawing%5Fon%5Fthe%5FRight%5FSide%5Fof%5Fthe%5FBrain?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* by Betty Edwards. - Sign up for Rebecca Haysom's[ "Drawing with Mindfulness" classes](https://mailchi.mp/b4e527a061b2/drawing-with-mindfulness-goes-online?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which she's now running through Zoom. ### The market crashed. Should I buy the dip? URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-market-crashed-should-i-buy-the-dip/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:44:41.000Z Hey buddies. How are you holding up over there? Things are so weird. I know that all of you are dealing with your own unique gumbo of unemployment, sickness, worry, cabin-fever, hunger, sadness, grief, exhaustion. I'm so sorry. I'm beaming love at each and every single one of you. I've been getting quite a few emails recently from readers who have watched their stock market investments get pummeled, and are asking if they should respond to this by buying more shares, or if they should wait it out, or if the stock market is just broken forever now and we should just start investing in potable water and toilet paper futures. My tl;dr answers to these questions are: 1. It depends. 2. It depends. 3. Probably not. Here's one of those questions, from a UK reader: > I just wanted to get your opinion on something, I have bond with \[a bank\] which is about to expire, I'm going to withdraw £5k from that bond and want to invest it into funds with Hargreaves Lansdown across multiple industries and countries but concerned that right now is not the best time to get involved. > > The plan is to put £1k into 5 different funds for the next 10 years and add £50 a month into each fund, should I wait a couple of months of this whole corona stuff to blow over or is the market in a good place for people like me to buy? On the surface, a market-dip is a great time to buy investments. Underneath all the finance-speak waffle, the stock market is a collection of businesses that you can buy tiny pieces of. When the stock market is down, that means you're buying pieces of businesses at a huge discount. The market's on sale! Theoretically, if you buy the shares at their cheapest, and hold onto them until the market bounces back, then you can make a bigger profit. This idea is called "buying the dip". And while I'm normally against *any* type of market-timing for regular people, I do believe that continuing to buy shares through a crash is an important part of a long-term investing strategy. But it's a little more complicated than this, because it really does depend on your individual circumstances. When people ask me if they should be trying to "buy the dip", I usually ask them three questions: - Have you got any high-interest debt? - Can you wait 5+ years to get this money back? - Are you speculating or investing? ### Consideration 1: have you got any high-interest debt? If you have high-interest debt (credit cards, personal loans, store cards etc.) you should pay that off before you start investing. Almost always. Say it with me: *Klap* the debt before you invest. The exception to this rule is tax-protected retirement savings, especially when they come with some kind of employer savings match. ### Consideration 2: can you wait 5+ years to get this money back? Here's the thing about the stock market: over its 120-year+ history, it's crashed many times. Every time, it's recovered... eventually. It's pretty dang likely that it will recover this time, too... eventually. The trick is in that "eventually". No-one knows if that "eventually" is going to be in 5 months or 5 years or 15. See this blue line? That's the U.S. stock market over the past 120 years. Lots of wobbles, but it ultimately wobbles up. ![Credit Suisse Global Investment Returns Yearbook 2020](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/04/cumulative-return.png) Source: Credit Suisse Global Investment Returns Yearbook 2020 If we continue to have an economic system that looks remotely like the one we currently have now, the stock market will recover (and if the whole economic system changes fundamentally, then nothing you do with your money now matters anyway). Here are the best and worst rolling periods in the history of the U.S. stock market: ### Annualised returns of the S&P 500 | | Market high | Market low | | ------- | ---------------- | ---------------- | | 1 year | \+ 53.99% (1933) | \- 43.34% (1931) | | 5 year | \+ 28.56% (1999) | \- 12.47% (1932) | | 10 year | \+ 20.06% (1958) | \- 1.39% (2008) | | 15 year | \+ 18.92% (1999) | \- 0.64% (1943) | | 20 year | \+ 17.88% (1999) | \+ 3.11% (1948) | So, the worst 5 year period were the years 1927-1932, when the stock market lost 12.47% of its value. There have been 15 year periods when the stock market lost money, but there has never been a 20 year period when this is true, so far. **The stock market might not bounce back quickly**. So, you need to be sure that you can live without this money for as long as the stock market's gonna take to recover. That's why **you shouldn't be touching the stock market unless you have a healthy emergency fund**. I'll level with you, friends: a lot more of us are going to lose our jobs before this is over. Do you have enough cash savings to cover 6 months' worth of expenses, if you need to? If you don't, that's your priority right now. This also means that you should be careful buying shares right now if you're close to retirement, or if you're already retired. If that's you, do buy *some* shares, but also balance your portfolio with lower-risk asset classes like bonds. There's a cost to *not* investing your money in the stock market: it's the best performing asset class over the long run, so the extra risk is worth it if you have time on your side. ### Consideration 3: are you speculating or investing? **Speculating** means taking advantage of the wobbliness of the market to buy and sell assets quickly for a profit. It's a lot like gambling, because you're essentially betting money on the movement of an asset in the short-term. It's also a lot like gambling in that **most people lose money doing this**. Why? Because it's a zero-sum game (your profit is someone else's loss) and the average person is much worse at this than they think they are. **Investing** means buying assets that will make a profit and increase in value over the long-run, regardless of the short-term price movements. It's less like gambling and more like planting seeds. Trying to find exactly the bottom of the market and buy assets at that moment is *speculating*. The odds are overwhelmingly against you being able to guess where the bottom of the market is, and *I beseech you in the magnificent name of David Attenborough* that you don't try. I also implore you not to try to pick individual shares right now, unless you have built up a lot of expertise in doing this. The stock market will recover, yes, but many individual businesses will not. The world will recover but some individual countries are going to have a very difficult decade. How do you get around this risk? **Diversification**, my buddies. Instead of making bets on individual business, buy index ETFs. Instead of pinning your hopes on your own country's economy (or the U.S. economy, or any other economy), buy global funds. Instead of trying to time the bottom of the market, just keep putting the same amount of money in, every month. It will average out over time. That's not to say that I'm cavalier about the fact that people are losing frightening amounts of money right now, friends. Shit's bad. Pensioners' retirement savings have dried up. The cold mathematics of the [drawdown recovery rule](https://justonelap.com/wealthy-maths-getting-back-to-where-you-started/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) means that stock market crashes are even more devastating to your portfolio than they look on paper. But the only way to get through them is to capture the upside as well as the downside, which means buying the shares when they're cheap, i.e. **now**. ### What should our reader do? So, after all that pre-ramble, let's get back to our reader's specific situation: > I have bond with \[a bank\] which is about to expire, I'm going to withdraw £5k from that bond and want to invest it into funds with Hargreaves Lansdown across multiple industries and countries but concerned that right now is not the best time to get involved. > > The plan is to put £1k into 5 different funds for the next 10 years and add £50 a month into each fund, should I wait a couple of months of this whole corona stuff to blow over or is the market in a good place for people like me to buy? Reader, if you don't have high-interest debt, and if you do have a healthy emergency fund, and if you're happy to not touch this money for 5 years, then **yes**, you're exactly the kind of person who should be investing right now. You're doing the smart thing, splitting your money across multiple countries and industries, and it sounds this is all part of a well-thought-through long-term financial plan. As weird as it seems, as the world slides into what often feels like a fever-dream nightmare, your investment strategy now should probably be pretty much the same as it was before this all happened. Trust past-you. They put together a good plan. The only thing I'd suggest is not "seeding" the funds with that £5k all in one go. Rather drip it in over a couple of weeks, and do keep investing consistently over the next few months, regardless of what the market does. I'll leave you all with a nice little summary chart from Wealthsimple. ![Wealthsimple should I buy the dip](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/04/ET49a3BXkBU5Mln.jpeg) A lovely infographic from Wealthsimple tying it all together ### How should small business prepare for Covid-19? URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-should-small-business-prepare-for-covid-19/ Last updated: 2020-07-01T16:13:50.000Z Hello, grownups! Buddies, I know that a lot of you are entrepreneurs, small business owners and freelancers, and that you are facing a phenomenally tough time right now. Trust me, as an entrepreneur and a freelancer myself, I’m *poep*\-anxious too. My friend [Nic Haralambous](https://www.getrevue.co/profile/Nic?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) recently shared some helpful tips in *Daily Maverick* about [practical things entrepreneurs can be doing right now](https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/opinionista/2020-03-17-a-letter-of-caution-to-entrepreneurs-in-tough-times-prepare-for-the-fight-ahead/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to prepare for the difficult months ahead. The two of us followed that up with a live Q&A. **We’ll discuss questions like:** - What are some practical steps I can take now to mitigate my losses? - How do I protect my personal finances as my business goes under strain? - Is now the time to start finding a side-hustle? - How can I become a remote team… immediately? - How can I start selling my products online, if I’m a brick and mortar store? - How do I protect my staff? If you'd like to donate to help medical teams in South Africa cope with the COVID-19 pandemic, visit this link: [https://www.backabuddy.co.za/champion...](https://www.youtube.com/redirect?redir%5Ftoken=QciVojgsBrwEQy1YZ9FAUmrCgYt8MTU5MzcwNjA2MEAxNTkzNjE5NjYw&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.backabuddy.co.za%2Fchampion%2Fproject%2Fcoronavirus-support&v=82BInOWKWPg&event=video%5Fdescription&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ### On TikTok And Social Distancing 🦠 URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/on-tiktok-and-social-distancing/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:44:47.000Z Hello, loves Well, that was a weird week, wasn't it? I know that you're bombarded with advice right now, and it's hard to know exactly where the line is between "taking reasonable steps to respond to an unfolding public health issue" and "BUCKLE IN, WE'RE GOING FULL NIGHTMARE APOCALYPSE DOOMSDAY BUNKER SCENARIO". It's very normal to feel confused right now. This is a situation that is changing quickly every day, and there is a lot that even scientists and public health experts just don't know yet. I don't want to add to any feelings of being overwhelmed, but coming to you live from the UK where things are pretty damn weird, I just wanted to tell you about some tiny things that I've found helpful this week. - **Find behavioural triggers for washing your hands.** The easiest way to learn a new habit is to set triggers that remind you to do it. I’ve found it helpful to make myself wash my hands every time I enter or leave a building, before meals, and after using the bathroom (obvs). [Find a song](https://washyourlyrics.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to help you wash your hands for the recommended 20 seconds. I’m doing “Dancing on my Own” by Robyn. - **Put yourself on an information diet.** I'm allowing myself 1 hour every morning to read Covid19-related news. That's plenty of time to reassess the current situation and decide what a reasonable response is in my own context. If I spend more time than that reading corona articles, I just feel more confused about what I should do, and start spiralling into a dark anxiety place. Find a healthy limit for yourself and don't get drawn into the need to obsessively refresh news sites:[ it's not helpful.](https://www.theladders.com/career-advice/this-study-confirms-that-constantly-reading-coronavirus-news-only-makes-it-worse?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [This was a pretty good read](https://theanxiousoverachiever.substack.com/p/20-questions-to-help-with-covid-19?r=3p64y) about how to deal with the anxiety, in general. - **Find information sources you trust.** The Federation of American Scientists have a good [website](https://covid19.fas.org/l/en?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about the latest science on Covid-19\. [Dave Pell's NextDraft newsletter](https://nextdraft.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) has interesting links roundups about the situation every day, but bear in mind that they're very U.S.-centric. Remember that while this is a global situation, it's also hyper-local: what's reasonable to do if you're in Seattle right now is very different to what's reasonable in Cape Town, or in Milan, or in Singapore. So find the official website for your country or community ([here's the South African information portal](https://sacoronavirus.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)). - **Protect the economic security of people who have less than you.** This crisis is going to be particularly hard for people who live off tips or hourly wages. If you do go out to a restaurant, please tip better than you ever have. If you have domestic workers, it's time to consider asking them to stay home with pay (letting them avoid exposure on public transport and look after their kids). - **Don't look at your investments.** Invest the same amount this month as you would have in any other month. Don't look at what anything is worth: if you don't sell assets now, they're not real losses. This is not the time to be changing your investing strategy. - **Be patient with the panicked.** Some people are very stressed about all of this. They might have good reason to be: we don't yet know enough about this pandemic to make accurate predictions about what will happen. You also can't know, if you see a person wearing a hazmat suit to buy up the last rolls of TP at the grocery store, what that person is going through. Maybe they have an elderly relative living at home with them that they're worried about. Maybe they have a cough and they're trying to protect YOU. We all have to make our own judgements about what level of response it's reasonable for us to take; don't be an asshole about other people who make different judgements to you. Be sensitive to people who are feeling overwhelmed by not blasting scary corona-related links onto every public social media platform (yes, I see the irony in saying this in an email I've sent to you). If you have a general big Whatsapp/Telegram/Signal group with your friends or family, consider starting a breakaway group specifically for corona discussions. Keep it off Facebook; nobody should be getting public health advice from Facebook :) As much as this is all frightening and frustrating, I've also been finding it pretty inspiring. [Disasters and crises bring out the best in people.](https://thecorrespondent.com/350/dont-forget-disasters-and-crises-bring-out-the-best-in-people/8167640250-1eab259d?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) People who are young and otherwise healthy have very little chance of dying from this virus, and a lot of people are isolating themselves as an incredible act of kindness: by trying to slow the spread of the virus through the community and give the healthcare system more time to gear up for it, they're keeping the people who **are** vulnerable safe. Where I live, young people have been putting flyers through the letterboxes of their neighbours offering to help at-risk people run errands. Viruses have always been at war against the human race, but those bastards aren't as smart or as resourceful as humans can be, when we pull together. Look after yourselves. Look after each other. Wishing you good TikTok memes, helpful neighbours and long Netflix marathons, Sam ### Should you give your kid an allowance? 💸 URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/should-you-give-our-kid-an-allowance/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:45:20.000Z Hello, grownups! Friends, I finished a draft of *Money: a guide for young people*, my book that wants to teach 11-14 year olds the stuff they really need to know about money. There's a ridiculous number of poop jokes in it. Sorry/not-sorry :) Here's a little sneak-peak for you, from the chapter about getting an allowance. --- Have you ever watched nature videos about baby birds learning to fly? When the bird is very small, the baby never leaves the nest, and the mother bird will bring back delicious worm goop and drop it straight into the baby’s mouth. (Delicious for baby birds, that is. I don’t recommend you try eating worm goop.) When the baby gets a bit bigger, the mother bird will start holding the food out a little way away from the nest, so the baby has to learn how to use its legs to come get it. The mother bird teaches the baby to stretch its wings, and then how to flap them. It’s a slow, gradual process: the baby birds learn how to survive by themselves bit by bit. Now, imagine what it would be like if instead, the mother bird just fed the bird in the nest every day until the bird was grown, and then one day just yeeted the baby bird out into the sky and hoped for the best? It would be brutal! Allowances are a great way for you to practice managing your own money, so that one day when you move out of home, you don’t feel like you’ve just been yeeted into the sky before you’ve been taught how to fly. When I moved out of home, I was a fool and accidentally spent all my groceries money on Lego in the first two weeks, and then didn’t have money for food. DON’T BE LIKE ME. Practice being responsible with your money! I’m going to say it again – families are different, and what I’m going to suggest here doesn’t work for every family. ### ****The case for getting an allowance** There are a lot of really good reasons for kids to get an allowance. - Research shows that kids who get an allowance show better self-control when it comes to spending, because they’ve had more practice at managing their own money. - It’s a great way for you to learn how to save up for things you really want. - Your folks are already spending money on you. An allowance isn’t necessarily costing your folks more money, it’s just about YOU having more control over what that money’s spent on. - If you get an allowance, you can spend less time looking for side-hustles, so you can focus on school. ### ****The case against getting an allowance.** There are good reasons that your folks might not want to give you an allowance. That’s fine, too! We’ll talk about what to do if they’re dead set against it, a bit later. - Your folks might believe it’s better for you to earn your own money, because that’s an important life lesson (when you’re an adult, no-one’s going to give you an allowance - you’ll have to work for money). - Your family might not be able to afford it. - You might have older siblings who didn’t get an allowance, so you getting one might not feel fair. - Your folks might not trust you to make good decisions with your money, or feel like if you have extra money you’ll spend it on stuff that isn’t good for you, like sweets or attack spiders. - It might not have been a normal part of your folks’ money culture growing up, so it might just seem like a weird idea to them that they don’t understand. --- The rest of that chapter looks at the different types of allowances kids get (like whether it's fair to be paid to do chores versus getting a standard amount every week/month), how to have a conversation with your folks about getting an allowance, and what to do if your family can't afford to give you an allowance or chooses not to. I've tried to make the book a good mix of theory (there are simple explanations for stuff like compound interest, inflation, why some countries are richer than others, what assets are, how debt works etc.) and very practical stuff (ideas for safe ways to earn money as a kid, tips for resisting advertising, how to open your first bank/savings account and start investing). There will be a stack of new illustrations from the magnificent Nanna Venter. We're looking at a release date of September. Okes, I had so much fun writing it. I really love my job. Thank you, all of you, for making that possible. Wishing you poop jokes and worm goop, Your friend Sam --- ![Sam Beckbessinger in the UK](https://mcusercontent.com/27378e44b1405e9f30e0f4d8d/images/c71bde9a-3aa8-42b1-aa8f-d3a45b14ce90.jpg) A very cold girl. ## UPDATES FROM SAM-LAND So, I moved to Cambridge! It's bloody freezing and it looks like Hogwarts. The whole process went about as smoothly as it could possibly have gone (it helps to have spreadsheets and a wonderful partner). I'm figuring out how to cycle in the rain, eating a lot of pies, and trying to find a good international replacement for 22seven. I'm a bit lonely and I miss my friend-family back home, but I'm doing all the right things to make new friends, so hopefully that will be a temporary condition. Moving countries is hard but it's also pretty damn thrilling, and I'm excited about building a life here. - Talking about stuff I've written for kids, my favourite Team Jay episode I wrote is now up on [YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvKESS7yfAw&list=PLFbByH5FQymZceSz5DWEgBnfYz-uQXsxI&index=21&t=0s&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). The episode is secretly about how I'm terrible at spelling (but I don't care because English spelling is S-T-U-P-I-D). - I wrote an 8 page guide to whipping your finances into shape in the latest episode of *Cosmopolitan*. - I've been writing a "money agony aunt" column in *Fair Lady* over the past few issues, which has been enormous fun (in case it wasn't obvious, I love telling other people what to do). Recent questions have included stuff like, "should I insure my expensive laptop if I'm a freelance designer", "is it worth it to install solar panels in your house" and "should I lend money to a friend who's a reckless spender". - Lettuce, the portfolio management app I've been involved in building, is opening a round of crowdfunding, which means you can buy real shares in my business for as little as £10\. If you've got some cash for discretionary investments lying about, [take a look!](https://lettuce.money/invest/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Investments in startups are risky, so please be thoughtful about whether this is right for you. - I will FINALLY be able to tell you about the Super Secret Exciting Project next week. WHEEEEEEEEE! Smooches! ### Holiday reading binge! 2019-2020 edition URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/holiday-reading-binge-2019-2020-edition/ Last updated: 2020-05-05T11:41:31.000Z I went on a reading binge over December! It was an elaborate ruse to avoid packing. Here’s what I read: [In the Dream House](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/43317482-in-the-dream-house?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- Carmen Maria Machado: a memoir about an abusive queer relationship. Devastating. Gorgeous. [Triangulum](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/42049646-triangulum?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- Masande Ntshanga: philosophical novel that blends history (specifically around the collapse of the homeland system in the 1990s) and science fiction. Masande is one of the best prose writers in the country at the moment and he deserves all the prizes. [Tiny Beautiful Things](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13152194-tiny-beautiful-things?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- Cheryl Strayed: a collection of columns from my favourite agony aunt. I was constantly Whatsapping bits of it to friends because it is so wise and sad and beautiful. Her letter to a father whose son had died is the one of the best things I’ve ever read about grief. [Ninth House](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/43317482-in-the-dream-house?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- Leigh Bardugo: a ghost story set at Yale University. Deliciously trashy and fast-paced and I loved every word. [Trust Exercise](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40046059-trust-exercise?from%5Fsearch=true&qid=vu34coBvT3&rank=1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- Susan Choi: a novel about precocious theatre kids falling in love with each other and trying to deal with a sexually predatory teacher. It’s a smart book, but maybe too smart because I still have no idea what the ending means. [Snow Crash](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40651883-snow-crash?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- Neal Stephenson: cyberpunk novel from the early 2000s. Fun as heck. [Wayward Lives, Beautiful Experiments](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40180089-wayward-lives-beautiful-experiments?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- Saidiya Hartman: non-fiction book about black American women living (then) socially transgressive lives in the early 20th century. Humane. Brilliant. [Missing Person](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/36204287-missing-person?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- Sarah Lotz: an online group of amateur detectives who try to solve cold cases are infiltrated by a murderer. Twisty and surprising, with well-drawn characters. The most fun book I’ve read this year. [Radical Candor](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29939161-radical-candor?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- Kim Scott: a business book about being a better manager. Not normally something I’d read in December, but I actually loved this one. It’s practical and helpful, and I’d recommend it to anyone who leads teams. [Lost Connections](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34921573-lost-connections?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- Johann Hari: a sociological investigation into the real causes of depression. This is a great companion piece to our last podcast episode about mental health. [Letters to a Young Poet](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/46199.Letters%5Fto%5Fa%5FYoung%5FPoet?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- Rainer Maria Rilke: a series of letters that the poet Rilke sent to a young protege in the early 1900s. Filled with some of the wisest things ever said about friendship, art and love, including what is probably my favourite sentence ever written: “Live the questions now.” [Fleishman is in Trouble](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41880602-fleishman-is-in-trouble?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- Taffy Brodesser-Akner: felt like a spiritual cousin to Marriage Story (the must-watch Netflix movie that has everyone saying… “wait, is Adam Driver hot now?”). It’s about a divorce, but it’s also about how hard it is for women to feel like we can be the protagonist of our own lives. I liked it a lot despite spending most of it wanting to club the main character over the head. Send me your book recommendations, buddies! I have more packing to avoid :) ### On danger noodles and letting go URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/on-danger-noodles-and-letting-go/ Last updated: 2020-07-01T16:25:07.000Z **CONTENT WARNING* **Buddies who have phobias of long wriggly creatures with no legs, this email is all about them, so please DELETE THIS NOW if that’s going to make you shivery.* – Hello, grownups! I’ve spent my whole life being terrified of snakes. Yes yes yes yes, I know that this is “irrational” and most of them are probably well-mannered long bois who just want to be left the heck alone, but I’m sorry, I just can’t trust anything that has no eyelids. I’ve had a recurring nightmare throughout my life where I’m sitting in the garden of my childhood home (one of those lush Durban jungle-gardens), digging my hands in to the rich, brown soil, when suddenly I realise that the ground around me isn’t ground at all, it’s snakes. Millions of writhing, twisting snakes. They are the soil and the grass. They’re the vines and the branches. They’re wrapping themselves around my limbs and dragging me down into the seething dark snake ball and then I wake up with my heart pounding. (Anyone who says anything about Freud or penis envy can just SHHH please). So, I decided as a child that I was scared of snakes. That’s just at thing about me, like how my favourite food is artichokes and how I have webbed toes (I do. No, you can’t see pictures). Anyway. This fear of snakes didn’t impact my waking life very much, until a few years ago when I started getting super into hiking (like, obnoxiously: I’m the person who wants to spend twenty minutes talking about different types of Jetboil stoves and I’m so sorry I am this way). Being afraid of snakes when you hike around the Western Cape a lot is no way to live your life, I tell ya. They might as well call it Table OF SNAKES Mountain. 🐍 I was fine hiking right up until the moment I let my brain think the word “snake”. From the moment the word “snake” entered my mind I couldn’t think of anything else. I’d have to move right at the back of the hiking group and hope that the snakes accepted the sacrifice of my friends and left me alone. It made hiking a much less calming activity for me than it would otherwise have been. I got so good at snake avoidance that I hadn’t actually seen one in the wild, in years. But last year, a funny thing happened. I was hiking through the Drakensberg with some friends and came across a snake. Just hanging out, right there in the middle of the path, refusing to budge, looking shifty as heck. And before I could squeal and jump out the way, I remembered something: the person walking behind me wasn’t just afraid of snakes, she has a proper phobia of them. It’s so bad that she can’t look at a photograph of a snake. She can’t even say the word: she calls them “nope ropes” or “danger noodles”. I knew that if I freaked out, she would panic. So I turned around to her, very calmly, and told her that she needed to just hang back for a minute while I sorted something out. And then I picked up a long stick, and, like an absolute badass who has NEVER KNOWN FEAR, I coaxed that little bit of hazard spaghetti right off the path. Friends, I was Wonder Woman. I was Chuck Norris. I was Khutulun the Mongolian freaking warrior princess. It was epic. And in that miraculous moment, I realised something: I’m not actually scared of snakes any more. It’s just something that I’ve believed about myself for so long, that I’d made it feel true. I do believe that I USED to be very scared of snakes. But the person I am now thinks they’re… kinda cool maybe? Still untrustworthy (I wouldn’t, like, lend one money), but not scary. This got me thinking about what other things I believe about myself, that might not actually be true any more. For a long time, I thought I was terrible with money and destined to be broke. Shaking off that narrative about myself was part of how I changed my life. Narratives that you have about yourself can trap you in the past. Saying, “I am like this” can work as a promise to yourself to keep being like that, even when being that way is not serving you. Thinking I was a person who was afraid of snakes was what made snakes scary. But humans are awesome, because we can change. So here’s my wish for you, dear reader, as you begin the next decade: I hope that you let some things go. I hope that you feel strong enough to pick up the pieces of yourself that you’re most ashamed of, the stories about yourself that trap you, stare them properly in the face, and prod those bastards right off the path. From the magnificent couple’s therapist Ester Perel: **“What outdated stories are masquerading as promises in your life? I’m not successful because I didn’t start with a trust fund. I’ll never find a partner because I’m unlovable. I will fail my children because my parents failed me. The new year is a good time to be forward-thinking about who you want to be; but it’s also a great time to look back at what you’re ready to let go of: the wrong partner or job; the narratives we use to justify our setbacks; the versions of ourselves—past, present, future—that no longer make sense.* Wishing you fresh starts, long sticks and the Jetboil Flash cooking system, Your friend Sam --- ## Updates from Sam-land I'm moving to Cambridge on the 23rd of January! GAH! I have not found a flat yet and I'm trying to figure out how many rubber duckies I can cram into one suitcase (don't ask me why I have so many rubber duckies, it's a long story) and I got my visa just in time and I have a book deadline at the end of the month and a TV show pitch in February and my cat is going to be on a plane for 12 hours and apparently Cambridge is 7 degrees right now. BEAM ME STRENGTH, FRIENDS. ### Fallow Time 🌞 URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/fallow-time/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:45:28.000Z Hello, grownups! Goddamn I love this time of year. Not only because of mimosas and mince pies and friends and fun (which, to be fair, are things I love a very lot), but because of how good it is to not be productive for a bit. It's old farming wisdom: you can't continually plant and harvest in the same ground - sometimes you have to let a field lie fallow so that it can recover its fertility. Sometimes you have to close your laptop for a few weeks and spend time stuffing your face with ice cream and reading terrible magazines. For your health! There's a dorky exercise I like to do with myself every year around this time: I grab a piece of paper and write down all the best things that happened in that year. Then I flip that page around and write some goals for the year that's starting. I've been doing this since I was a teenager, and it's DELIGHTFUL to look back on your goals and laugh at them (last year, one of my goals was "learn to surf" which... lol), and to marvel at how the best things that happen in your life are usually the ones you could never have planned or predicted or even hoped for. It's like Very Smart Person Winston Churchill (apparently) once said: **"Plans are of little importance, but planning is essential."** The process of planning is great: it helps you to think about what you want and bring clarity to your desires. But the plans themselves don't mean shit, because life is a remarkable, unpredictable bastard. So make lists of goals, but then forget about those lists because they don't matter; it was the process of writing them down that you needed. You can learn from these lists, too. Every year, without fail, my gratitude list always ends up being filled with the names of people. And yet, every year my goals are about BIG ACHIEVEMENTS that I think will somehow make me happier. So this year, I'm trying something different: my 2020 goals are all about humble things like trying to be a better friend, partner, sister and daughter, and to spend more quality time with myself (no, not like that you PERVS, I mean like going for walks). Anyway, I highly recommend this little reflection exercise. All you need is a pen, a piece of paper, and some fallow time. (Pro-tip: photograph your lists and save them somewhere you'll be able to find it next year so that you can look back at your goals and laugh at the hopeless naivety of past you). See you in 2020! Wishing you mountains of mince pies, Your friend Sam --- **UPDATES FROM SAM-LAND** ![](https://gallery.mailchimp.com/27378e44b1405e9f30e0f4d8d/images/b902a3e6-e704-450c-b87d-0b7b7930bd74.png) Something that gives me enormous delight: my friend Tegan has this magical webcomic called The Weekly Scribble where she explains a complicated topic in a fun cartoon. And this week, she chose to illustrate the TEDx talk I did last year about why lifestyle upgrades don't make us happy. EXCUSE ME WHILE I DROWN MYSELF IN AN INFLATABLE POOL OF JOY. [https://www.weeklyscribble.com/latest/lifestyleupgrades](https://www.weeklyscribble.com/latest/lifestyleupgrades?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ![](https://gallery.mailchimp.com/27378e44b1405e9f30e0f4d8d/images/8d1d5b12-1ad1-4734-8083-dfc79dd2f298.jpg) And this other delightful thing: 100 balloon cats of gratitude floating off to you lovely people. I have no idea when they'll get to you, because the postal system is dark magic and thoroughly predictable. Smooches! xx ### How to manage depression like a grownup URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-to-manage-depression-like-a-grownup/ Last updated: 2026-07-08T09:47:14.000Z *Quick thing, buddies. This week's podcast episode is about the twin gremlins of depression and anxiety, and it includes frank descriptions of suicidal ideation and feelings of hopelessness. Please, if you’re not in the right headspace to be listening to this, look after yourself and give this episode a skip.* Hello, grownups! I was twenty years old when I had my first panic attack. I’d been having a major depressive episode for a few months, but at the time, I didn’t know that’s what it was. I always thought that being depressed meant feeling sad all the time. And I didn’t feel sad, I just felt - you know - like the world was a meaningless pit of emptiness and I was the rotten heart of the void. But not, like, *depressed*, geez! So one night I was lying in my bed, thinking TOTALLY NORMAL AND HEALTHY THOUGHTS like how I ruin everything I touch and that it would just be a matter of time until everyone around me noticed what a fundamentally unloveable person I was, when suddenly I realised I couldn’t breathe. There was a sharp, shooting pain down my left arm, and I remembered that’s what happens when you have a heart attack. So I tried to get up and call for help, because my housemate/bestie Meg was just a few meters away from me in the very next room, but I couldn’t move. And now I'm even more panicked because here I am having a heart attack but also I'm paralysed and therefore I must definitely be dying! I just lay there gasping for breath until I finally managed to reach my phone and PHONE Meg on the ACTUAL TELEPHONE (who, again, was in the very next room) and tell her that something was terribly terribly wrong. She burst into the room and she sat on my bed and read *The Little Prince* to me until my heart-rate went back to normal and I felt better again. Guys, depression and anxiety are weird! They're much weirder diseases than you’d expect them to be! And I wish that someone had told me exactly how weird they are when I was young so that, when I had my first panic attack, I knew what was happening to me, instead of managing to convince myself that I was just spontaneously dying. So, here's the last episode of season 1 of the podcast, and it's all about depression, and what the hell your supposed to do about it, and why getting your best friend to sit on your bed and read *The Little Prince* to you is actually just the cure that we all need (but sorry, you can't have Meg, she's mine forever). This episode really was a community effort, and I want to hat-tip a few crucial sources: - ["Busting the myth that depression doesn't affect people in poor countries"](https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/apr/30/busting-the-myth-that-depression-doesnt-affect-people-in-poor-countries?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)from *The Guardian* recommended by Vinayak - ["What causes depression"](https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/what-causes-depression?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) \- a great summary of the latest science from Harvard Medical School - The excellent book [*Lost Connections*](https://thelostconnections.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Johann Hari, recommended by Adele and Lauren - ["Life hacks of the poor and aimless"](https://thebaffler.com/war-of-nerves/laurie-penny-self-care?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Laurie Penny, recommended by Charne A lot of my thoughts in this episode were formed in conversation with my friends Maya and Meg while we were driving back from the Drakensberg, and two of my neuroscientist buddies Hayley and Joe fact-checked the script for me. You'll hear my friend Limpho talking so poignantly and hilariously about her own struggles with depression in the audio, as well as total badass health activist Kentse talking about how we live inside of systems of trauma that are much bigger than any one of us. In fact, it's funny how this whole episode became an exercise in relying on my community to make something 100x better than anything I could have made by myself, because that's sort of the whole point that the episode makes: isolation kills you. Connection is life. Which brings me to four people I really want to tell you about: my partners in podcasty crime, Kath, Diana, Sumeya and Bernard. ![A photo of two people filming a video in a living room](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/6ed52e81-8347-435a-b7e0-2efb0ea1a4ae.jpg) A photo from our very first recording, back when we thought we were going to make a video series (HAHAHAHAHAHA) This podcast wouldn't exist without them (literally - this whole thing was Bernard's idea) and making this season with them has been an absolute bloody privilege. It's funny how many of the best things in your life happen absolutely by chance, because you just happened to meet the right people at the right time. I met Diana Nielle about a decade ago at a house party in Pretoria, and could never have predicted how much of an imprint she would leave on my life. About a year ago, she called me out of the blue and asked if I wanted to make a Youtube series with her, because all the cool kids were doing it. We brought on sound legend Bernard Kotze and producer Sumeya Gasa, and Kathryn Kotze came on board as the official Adult In The Room to remind us to actually finish stuff occasionally. We even recorded a pilot of the video series, [which you can watch here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSMgz1hpbcI&feature=youtu.be&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) if you want to marvel at how much my hair has grown out (warning, it's an *extremely* rough cut). But we realised that making high-quality video is way harder and more time consuming than we'd anticipated (who knew, right), so we decided to launch an audio version instead. Six episodes and countless (COUNTLESS) hours of work later, we've made a podcast season. We did it for zero money, between having jobs and lives and (some of us) kids and working on other incredibly amazing projects like making a documentary about Zapiro (B), starting a whole new bloody career and damn well killing it (Kath) and making five - count 'em FIVE - movies at once (Di). If you liked this podcast season, then please beam love and affection at these guys, because they are the reason it exists. ![Sam Beckbessinger, Bernard Kotze, Diana Nielle, Kathryn Kotze](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/c413c249-c242-41df-84e2-07d350562639.jpg) This is us, a few days ago at our unofficial season wrap party. Left-to-right is ya boi, Bernard, Diana, and Kath (Sumeya left us a few months ago to return to journalism full-time, because she's a badass). I can't even describe how much I love these adorable bastards. The lesson here, is that none of us are anything without the people who sit at the foot of our beds and read to us when we're falling apart, the people who make art with us, the people who help us figure out our ideas, the people who keep us together, the people who love us and keep us alive. Wishing you friendship and art-mates and family, Your friend Sam. --- **WAIT! STOP THE PRESSES! THRILLING NEWS!** Just before I sent out this email, we just found out that one of Diana's documentaries just got accepted to premier at THE SUNDANCE FREAKING FILM FESTIVAL! It's a documentary called *Influence*, all about how Bell Pottinger (the PR company for dictators and despots) undermined democracy all around the world. I'm indescribably proud of her. Find out more here: --- If you need help, please reach out to one of these organisations: - The South African Depression and Anxiety Group 24-hour toll-free helpline: 0800 456 789 - The Lifeline 24-hour toll-free national counselling helpline: 0861 322 322 (there are also special hotlines to support survivors of gender-based violence and people affected by HIV/AIDS, as well as in-person counselling centres all around the country). - The Counselling Hub low-cost counselling centre in Cape Town: 021 462 3902 ### The money dashboard URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/dashboard/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T10:04:51.000Z Looking for the all-in-one mega-super awesome dashboard for managing your money? Here it is! [Find the money dashboard on Google Sheets](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1SJOeMpC7Ol9H3mcsmxFLUQqeeoL8llmpCPxdk3DVzfE/edit?usp=sharing&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) You’ll have to start off by making a copy for yourself, so that you can edit the data. The all-in-one dashboard includes handy calculators, a monthly spending tracker, and more. --- ### Teen version A simpler money mission control sheet designed for younger readers. [Find the money mission control dashboard on Google Sheets](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Vm12VTofP7RN5HWJNvW4TVu6EV7EZArvujdjRPltWh0/edit?usp=sharing&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) --- ### German version Deutsche Leser, eine wundervolle Person namens Marcel hat eine deutsche Version des Geld-Dashboards nur für Sie erstellt. Sie finden es hier. Ich hoffe ich kann dich bald wieder in Berlin besuchen! [Das Geld-Dashboard auf Deutsch](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1aAsoDDi1MgC7TjjtZFN%5FG69oTLXIOUdwL7ZNSggUeAM/edit?usp=sharing&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) --- ### Excel version Prefer to do things old-school with Microsoft Excel? [Download the Excel version](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1RNjxeJ5oMiPgg3S6KPqn6sNi7yr8DzWr/view?usp=sharing&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) --- ### How-to video Struggling to figure out how the Money Dashboard works? This video might help: ### How's the water? 🌊 URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/hows-the-water/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T06:45:34.000Z Hello, grownups! This week, I've been thinking a lot about a story David Foster Wallace liked to tell. *"There are two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says “Morning, boys. How’s the water?” And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes “What the hell is water?”* The point of the story is that fish are idiots that the most important and obvious realities are the hardest to see. And if we never even notice them, it never occurs to us that we could change them. ![](https://gallery.mailchimp.com/27378e44b1405e9f30e0f4d8d/images/34f90d0d-7c06-4170-a250-e8fc5c40b206.jpg) I was thinking about this as we were cutting together our latest podcast episode, where we spoke to two people - Kristy Shen and Bryce Leung - who became (dollar) millionaires and retired before age 31\. I found Kristy particularly interesting to talk to, because she grew up in a poor part of China, in a house that didn't have running water. And now she spends most of her time travelling the world having adventures. That's quite a journey. Kristy and Bryce are part of a global movement that calls themselves "FI/RE", which stands for "Financial Independence/Retire Early" (don't ask me how to pronounce it, I don't have a clue). They try to save 50% or more of their paycheques so they can retire in their 30s or 40s. Personally, I find this movement interesting, but I'm also pretty clear that it's not what I want for my own life. A FI/RE strategy requires you to work in a very high-paying job and prioritise earning and saving above anything else, until you get to retire and finally do what you want. But there are some assumptions that underlie that approach that don't jibe with me: 1\. that work is awful 2\. that you can't get paid to do what you love 3\. that you can start learning how to be happy after some future event (retirement) that will fix everything and 4\. that it's possible to save 50% or more of your paycheque (which, for the vast majority of people in the world, is just laughably unfeasible). But still, I think there's a lot to be learned from FI/RE people, especially when it comes to the "FI" part (trying to buy back your own time by investing in assets that can earn an income for you so you don't have to). It's just the "retire early" part that doesn't jibe with me. I really like working, because I've been lucky enough to find work that I really like. I think that finding work you like and you can do forever might be a better goal for most people than trying to retire early. And finding work you like can take a lifetime, so you'd better get started. Retiring at age 65 is actually a pretty recent idea, and 1930s policymakers chose 65 because the average US life expectancy at the time was 62\. Now, if you were born in 1990, [there's a 22% chance](https://www.theguardian.com/news/datablog/2011/aug/04/live-to-100-likely?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) you'll live to be 100\. 35 years is a crazy long time to not be working. I've been thinking a lot about the bigger systems we live in, lately. The water we swim in. The things about our economic system that seem inevitable and unchangeable, but really aren't. Last year, 26 people owned the same as the 3.8 billion people who make up the poorest half of humanity. We dumped more carbon into the atmosphere in 2018 than any other year in history, and we will probably exceed it this year. Vast regions of Africa, Asia, North and South America are becoming too hot for growing grains. 55% of South African youth are unemployed. All of these things are connected. None of this is inevitable. All of it could be changed. So, this is an episode about retirement. And what a weird idea it is, and your options for thinking about your own. But it's also about questioning the default assumptions of the culture around you; trying to notice the water. In the immortal words of the philosophers, the Barenaked Ladies: *"The ice we skate is getting pretty thin* *The water's getting warm so you might as well swim"* Hope the water's good, wherever you are :) Your friend, Sam --- **UPDATES FROM SAM-LAND** - After this, we've got one more episode planned for the season (about looking after your mental health). It should drop in about 2 weeks... stay tuned! - I wrote a little companion piece for *[Daily Maverick](https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/maverick-life/?utm%5Fsource=homepage&utm%5Fcampaign=homepage%5Fbuttons)* about why retirement is such a weird idea. - *Manage Your Money Like a F-cking Grownup* is coming to Brazil! I too would like to go to Brazil. Guys, let's go to Brazil. - I'll be spending the next week putting the finishing touches on the Top Secret Project (RUNS IN A CIRCLE SCREAMING IN EXCITEMENT). I really hope I can tell you guys all about it, very soon. - I had this ridiculous idea that I wished I could see what my investments would be worth in Galleons, so [we built a feature into Lettuce](https://lettuce.money/simoleans-flurbos-and-galleons/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), our portfolio management app, that lets you do that. You can also try Flurbos, Simoleans, Federation Credits, Bic Macs and more. I can't even explain how delighted this makes me.My partner left on Monday for Cambridge. I can only follow in January because of obscure cat- and visa-related reasons. So I'm living alone for two months, which means I have removed my human-female disguise reverted to my natural state: ![](https://gallery.mailchimp.com/27378e44b1405e9f30e0f4d8d/images/f5ae6e04-e31b-45a0-98ef-35edda929099.gif) ### Simoleans, Galleons and Flurbos, oh my! URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/simoleans-galleons-and-flurbos-oh-my/ Last updated: 2020-05-05T11:45:52.000Z One of the things I do with my time is hang out with some of my best friends building apps. It’s hella fun. Our latest app project is called [Lettuce](https://lettuce.money/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Right now, Lettuce lets you add all of the assets you own (like shares or ETFs or bars of gold or whatever), and we’ll keep track of what they’re worth, in any currency, in realtime. But we’ve got big plans for this baby: soon, we want to let you activate simple money recipes that move your money around automatically according to rules you create (kind of like “if this, then that” for your money). Recently, we had a lot of fun figuring out the exchange rates for various fictional currencies, so you can now see what your investments are worth in Flurbos, Simoleans, Galleons, Federation Credits, Septims and more! You can [read all about how we did that here.](https://lettuce.money/simoleans-flurbos-and-galleons/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Owning your own business is great because no-one can tell you not to waste time on stupid, fun nonsense that makes you happy :) I hope that some of you get a kick out of this feature, too. Lettuce is evolving into a very cool little project. It’s early days, but if you want to take the ride with us, [download it here.](https://lettuce.money/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ### When should you buy a house? 🏠 URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/when-should-you-buy-a-house/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T10:11:49.000Z Hello, grownups! > *“If you rent, you’re just paying someone else’s mortgage.”* > *“The most important thing is to just get onto the property ladder as quickly as you can.”* > *“Buy the biggest home you can afford. You’ll grow into it in time.”* When I was growing up, the major (in fact, only) piece of financial advice that adults drilled into me was that it’s absolutely crucial to try to buy your first house as quickly as you can. More than anything else, buying a house is what *made you* an adult. And I, with my deep distaste for both mountains of admin and home maintenance, always felt stressed that I wasn’t getting onto that fabled property ladder fast enough. I'm not the only one. South Africans are buying their first house later than ever before, and [statistics from BetterBond](https://www.betterbond.co.za/betteradvice/gen-z-really-loves-property-wants-to-own-before-30?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) show that the average age of first-time home buyers has risen from 24 to 36 over the past 20 years. The reasons for this aren’t that mysterious: we’re facing a youth unemployment crisis and the economy’s been in stagnation for a decade. Most young people are struggling to find their first real paying jobs, let alone save up for a home loan deposit. And changing global patterns of marriage and childbearing likely play a role, too. But maybe - despite all the hand-wringing - the fact my generation is waiting longer to set down our roots isn’t such a bad thing for our finances. Despite all the conventional wisdom we hear from our uncles around the braai, buying a house in South Africa has actually been a pretty terrible investment for most people, for many years. In fact, data from the [FNB Property Barometer](https://cdn.ymaws.com/www.saiv.org.za/resource/collection/B70457DF-B11F-442D-94B2-8B1BF7C28C2F/Property%5FBarometer-%5FJune.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) shows that the average house in South Africa has actually **lost value** against inflation for most of the past decade. So, if you’re planning to sell your house one day and make a fat profit to fund your retirement… then, sorry, you might need a different plan. *(Now, I’m talking here about just buying your own house to live in. Obviously, some people do really well through property investing: usually because they treat it like a side-business, and do a lot of maths and research and develop expertise about the residential property market. And some people just get lucky.)* But the other compelling financial reason to buy a house isn’t to think of it as an **investment** (something you plan to make a profit on when you sell it), but to think of it as a **cost saving tool**. Usually, when you first buy a house, the costs of owning that house every month are higher than if you were renting the same place. But the costs tend to stay more-or-less the same, while the costs of renting rise every year. And eventually, having owned the house works out cheaper than having rented it. The thing is, **the average person needs to live in one house for at least nine years before that happens.** That’s because the costs of buying and selling houses in South Africa is extremely expensive. You can run the maths on your own situation by playing with Jason Coomer’s excellent [Buy vs. Rent calculator](http://[http://www.rollingalpha.com/2016/09/27/rent-or-buy-the-calculator/]). The average employed South African only [stays in a job for about four years](http://[https://businesstech.co.za/news/business/139675/how-long-the-average-south-african-stays-in-one-job-for/]). Nine years is a long, long time for a young person who’s still trying to figure out their life and their career and their relationships to commit to being in one house. So maybe, the fact that young people are waiting a little bit longer before they buy their first home isn’t such a terrible thing, after all. Take a listen to this week’s episode of the Like a F-cking Grownup podcast, where we interview economist Jason Coomer about the maths of home ownership, talk to Xola Feni, a 20-something from Cape Town about why he just bought his first house, and get some tips from our very own Kathryn Kotze for negotiating better rental contracts, for those of you who feel like you’re aren’t quite ready to take the home ownership plunge. While we're talking about figuring out where you want to live, I wanted to tell you guys why I've decided to move to the U.K. And no, it's not for the amazing weather. 😉 My Mum went blind in her 40s, from a degenerative disease called Macular Degeneration. Being blind isn't the worst thing in the world: my Mum has been a total goddamn inspiration in continuing to work and live a full life. Plus, you have a great excuse to take your dog everywhere! But sometimes it's also really hard, and it's especially hard to be blind in a country like South Africa, where most cities aren't really designed to be navigated independently by people with disabilities. I've known, since I was a teenager, that there was a good chance I'll go blind at some point in my life, because Macular Degeneration is largely genetic. I didn't want to have the test to see if I had the genes for it, because it felt like there was nothing I could do about it anyway, so it was better not to know. So I made all of my future plans under a sort of "Schroedinger's Blindness" veil: simultaneously assuming I will and will not go blind. But mostly just taking the tried-and-tested 100% fool-proof Sam strategy of NEVER THINKING ABOUT IT. 🙉 About a year ago, I realised that there actually **is** a lot of stuff that I can do to prepare for going blind, if it turns out that I have the bad genes. I can start learning Braille. I can finally figure out how to use the voice controls on my phone. I can move to a place that has better social support for blindness. I can trap a wild parrot and teach it how to talk in a John Oliver accent so it can live on my shoulder and tell me when I'm about to bump into something. Generally, I can build the type of life that can accommodate a disability better. So I was brave! And I took the test! And I found out that yup, I do indeed have those sneaky blindness genes. Which means that one day I probably, but not definitely, will lose my vision. And I was sad about that result, but also kind of relieved. Because now I know. And now I can do something about it. The U.K. is cold and it's wet and the food is awful, but it's a country that has excellent social support for blind people, so the chances of me being able to live an independent life there are better than here. And it's close enough to home that I can come back often and see my friends and my family. I'm extraordinarily lucky that I have a partner who's willing to come with me, and that I qualify for a visa, and that I can afford to re-locate myself (AND my asshole cat). Few people are so lucky. I'm heartbroken about leaving South Africa. I have nothing but optimism for this country's future, and I believe that the grass is greenest where you water it. I'll be back to visit often. But I'm also excited about a new adventure 🤠. This is a big ol' world, and I can't wait to see more of it, while I can. Wishing you bravery and travel and parrots and smart housing decisions! Your friend Sam **UPDATES FROM SAM-LAND** - 🦓 The first 10 episodes of *Team Jay* \- the cartoon series about a magical zebra I worked on with Juventus and Sunrise Productions last year - are [now available on YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFbByH5FQymZceSz5DWEgBnfYz-uQXsxI&ref=sambeckbessinger.com)! Grab your favourite 4-6 year old and have a watch :) I wrote the episodes "Seeing Double" and "Team of One", but they are all sweet and hilarious and you should watch them all. - 🖥 Speaking of YouTube, I've experimentally loaded [our Fitness episode](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCn6mlNf%5FN7LJS2uBx1HFbjA?view%5Fas=subscriber&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) up there to see if more people discover it there than on the podcast platforms. What do you think, gang? Is it worth it? - ✒️ Please don't ask me how [NaNoWriMo](https://www.nanowrimo.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is going (BADLY. It's going BADLY.) ### How to start exercising when you hate exercise URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-to-start-exercising-when-you-hate-exercise/ Last updated: 2020-07-01T16:36:43.000Z Hello, grownups :) Have you got a mortifying childhood memory that’s haunted you your whole life? Here’s one of mine (oh, I have many). I must have been nine or ten years old, and I was a year younger than everyone else in my class. Because only the senior grades in my primary school participated in Sports Day, that meant that I had to compete in ALL of the races, because there were only me and like four other kids in that age group (why, oh merciless overlords of Primary School, was this the system?). The problem was, I was TERRIBLE at sports. Especially at running. Reading, maths, memorising every poem from T. S. Eliot’s Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats? Those things were my forte. Running was something I could do for approximately thirty seconds before wanting to cough up a lung. The worst of all the dumb races that I had to participate in was the dreaded 1500m. That is an insanely long distance for an overweight, unfit nine year old! But I had no choice. The 1500m translated into doing four or five laps of the field. We all started running, and the other three kids tore away from me immediately. I ran my hardest, weak and in pain, but I couldn’t keep up. The other three kids lapped me. And then they lapped me again. And then the other three kids finished the race, and I still had two whole laps to do. I remember it so clearly: the whole school, watching me for what felt like an eternity, as I wheezed and panted and hobbled my way around and around that damn field. So yeah. Exercise and I, we haven’t had the best relationship. And for years, I managed to convince myself that this was fine, and that exercise was a stupid hobby for dumb jocks, anyway. And all the cool people smoke cigarettes and laze around making art until they die young and beautiful.. Reality caught up with me eventually. THANKS, reality. Over the past few years, I’ve been working on reforming my relationship with my body, and especially with exercise. But you’ve got to understand, if you’ve never been fit before in your life, this is **hard*. I don’t think fit people understand how impossibly difficult exercise can be, when you’ve never done it before. But that’s no reason not to try. So, [take a listen to the latest podcast episode](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/podcast.html), where I’ll share what I’ve learned about the absolute basics of getting fit, and why it matters so much. And if you want more concrete tips about getting started, I did a [writeup for Daily Maverick](https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/article/2019-10-24-how-to-start-exercising-if-you-hate-exercise/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Wishing you long walks, soccer games and swims in the ocean, Your friend Sam --- **Updates from Samland** - 👧🏽This League of Grownups is the absolute damn best. When I asked you about what questions kids are asking about money, one of our readers, Valen, who is a high school teacher, very kindly asked 150 of his learners to write down any questions they had. Some of these were hilarious and bizarre, but many of them were extremely profound. You can hear what they were[ in this clip from the Money Show](http://www.capetalk.co.za/podcasts/133/the-money-show/255595/17-october-2019?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) with Bruce Whitfield (the interview starts at minute 47). Valen, I can’t thank you enough. - 📱[Lettuce](http://lettuce.money/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), the little portfolio tracking app I’m building with my friends Kenny Inggs and Simon Dingle (because I’m tired of spreadsheets, and 22seven doesn’t let me track my global investments), just got a redesign. We’re working on graphs now, and hope to roll these out soon. It’s early days, but we have big plans for this baby. - 🇧🇪The German translation of *Manage Your Money Like a F-cking Grownup* is now available [on Amazon](https://www.amazon.it/Manage-Your-Money-cking-Grown-up-ebook/dp/B07W5SDBFW?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), bitte erzähle es all deinen deutschen Freunden! - 💻I finished a draft of the Super-Secret-Project, and will be writing the final draft in December, in-between working on the “Manage Your Money for Kids” book, pitching two TV show concepts, making the podcast, and planning a move to another continent. Shhhh no I’m not trying to do too many things. - 🖋I’m a masochist so I’ve committed myself to doing [NaNoWriMo](https://www.nanowrimo.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (interNational Novel Writing Month) this November. If you’ve never heard of this, it’s a global challenge to write 50,000 words of a novel over 30 days, and it happens every November. This month, I’m working on the mystery-horror novel I’m writing with [Dale Halvorsen](https://dalehalvorsen.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), called *Magpies*. We’ve got about 50,000 words already, and I want to push myself to finish a first draft by the 8th of December. The beauty of NaNoWriMo is that it forces you to focus on quantity rather than quality (you’ve got to hit your 1,667 words-a-day target), which means you don’t have time to second-guess yourself or get stuck. I’m telling you all that I’m doing this because now that I’ve told you I’ll feel pretty damn embarrassed if I don’t stick to it, so please hold me accountable! Are any of you planning a NaNoWriMo of your own? Let me know, we can keep each other motivated! Stay handsome, lovely people. ![Sam Beckbessinger at CapeTalk](https://gallery.mailchimp.com/27378e44b1405e9f30e0f4d8d/images/e14d2ff7-8803-4c17-bb62-21fe8ebab0b9.gif) Proof that I am 100% incapable of taking a photo with a normal human facial expression. ### So what actually is the stock market? 🎩 URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/so-what-actually-is-the-stock-market/ Last updated: 2026-07-22T13:52:47.000Z Hello, grownups! Over the years, people have asked my opinion about many strange and "100% fool-proof" investment ideas, including, but very much not limited to: - Bees - Solar panels - Cows (which you can literally buy through an app now by the way) - Buy-to-let properties - Marijuana (companies? fields? bankies? I never get deep enough into the conversation to ask) - Multi-level-marketing schemes (AKA the devil) - Uber cars - Art - Bottles of wine (but, like, how do you not drink it?) - Bars of gold - Digital representations of bars of gold - Gold coins - Gold that's been pressed into shapes and sometimes worn on your body (guys, people really like gold) Now, I think the instinct behind considering investments like these is a good one: fundamentally, **people want to invest in stuff they understand.** And more than that, people want to invest in stuff that feels real and tangible. And this is why I get so irritated that finance bros make the stock market look so difficult to understand. Stocks are **wonderful**. Historically, they've been the asset class most likely to outperform absolutely anything else (yes, including all the stuff on that list) and they've got a long track record of doing this. Investing in the stock market doesn't have to be a second job (unlike buy-to-let property, which usually takes much more time and labour than you think it will), you can do it even if you only have a tiny bit of cash to spare, and there's a way to do it that keeps your money much safer through diversification (buying ETFs). But to most people, buying shares feels weird and abstract and complicated. To be completely honest with you, I actually had no idea what the stock market actually was until like five years ago. So most people are missing out on what can be one of the simplest and most satisfying things to do with your money: **buying pieces of succesful businesses.** So that's what we've tried to do with the second episode of our podcast: create a quick, 14 minute introduction to what shares actually are and show you how easy it is to buy them. It's designed for total investing n00bs, and I hope that you'll share it with anyone you know who might find it useful 😄 ### A SIDE-NOTE ABOUT SHARES AND DEMOCRACY I believe that teaching more people how to buy shares is good for our democracy, too. In our weird, capitalist world, big companies have more power over many issues than governments do. The climate emergency, rich CEOs getting paid so much more than their employees, insecure jobs... all of these are issues that big companies need to help solve. And one of the rad things about owning shares is that **you actually have the power to vote** on what happens in those companies. Now, this is one way that investing in ETFs is kinda weird (if you're not sure what an ETF is, go listen to the episode quickly), because normally, it's the ETF company that gets your voting rights instead of you. They're called proxy rights. Let's say I invest in the Vanguard Total World Fund. Vanguard will get to send representatives to all of the annual meetings of the companies it invests in (like Apple and Google and Amazon) and vote on issues that come up, on my behalf, and on behalf of all the other people who invest in that fund. I can see how Vanguard voted on my behalf [on their website](https://about.vanguard.com/investment-stewardship/how-our-funds-voted/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Which means that if you care about issues like climate change, or economic inequality, or if you just want someone to tell Elon Musk to stop using the word "pedo" in polite conversation, you need to put pressure on the companies who are representing you. Just like you'd put pressure on your political representatives. And if they won't listen, move your money to someone who will. --- ## UPDATES FROM SAM-LAND - Are you enjoying the podcast? Do you have any tips about how we can do better? Please respond to this email and let me know! We'll be dropping episodes fortnightly between now and the end of the year. - There's a page on my website where I maintain a list of good low-fee investment and savings options for South Africa. [I've just done an update](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/investing/good-funds.html), please let me know if I've missed anything you think should be included. - Catch me on *702* on Thursday the 17th on the *Money Show with Bruce Whitfield*, talking about... uh... actually I'm not sure yet, but talking to Bruce is always a hoot. - Thank you so much to all of you who sent me insights about what money questions kids have! We're putting that book together now - it will hopefully be out in the first half of next year. - We've just released a re-design for [Lettuce](https://lettuce.money/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), our brand-new portfolio management app. The next release will have graphs and some other nifty stuff. - I just finished a first draft of the SUPER SECRET PROJECT I can't tell you about and I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT IT. Sorry to be all mysterious and stuff, but I just wanted to share :P Apart from that, my whole life life is moving admin right now. PRETTY BORING, yo. ![Sam Beckbessinger, Kate Ferreira and Kristia van Heerden at the Sanlam Financial Journalism Awards](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/11/samkatekristia.jpg) Check out this adorable photo I found of me and two of my favourite fellow money dorks - Kate Ferreira and Kristia van Heerden - at the Sanlam Financial Journalism Awards. If you don't listen to Kristia's excellent podcast, the [Fat Wallet Show](https://justonelap.com/the-fat-wallet-show/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), you definitely should! ### Girls of Little Hope URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/girls-of-little-hope/ Last updated: 2024-10-11T16:38:44.000Z > "Sharp as a DIY-piercing, with a fierce punk heart - I loved the hell out of this" - Lauren Beukes Three girls went into the woods. Only two came back, covered in blood and with no memory of what happened. Or did they? Being fifteen is tough, tougher when you live in a boring-ass small town like Little Hope, California (population 8,302) in 1996\. Donna, Rae and Kat keep each other sane with the fervour of teen girl friendships, zine-making and some amateur sleuthing into the town's most enduring mysteries: a lost gold mine, and why little Ronnie Gaskins burned his parents alive a decade ago. Their hunt will lead them to a hidden cave from which only two of them return alive. Donna the troublemaker can't remember anything. Rae seems to be trying to escape her memories of what happened, while her close-minded religious family presses her for answers. And Kat? Sweet, wannabe writer Kat who rebelled against her mom's beauty pageant dreams by getting fat? She's missing. Dead. Or terribly traumatised, out there in the woods, alone. As the police circle and Kat's frantic mother Marybeth starts doing some investigating of her own, Rae and Donna will have to return to the cave where they discover a secret so shattering that no-one who encounters it will ever be the same. [Buy now](https://bookb.ee/to/9781803362076?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ### Buy the book You can buy the book at any bookshop. I encourage you to support your local indie. #### Buy the book in the UK - [Bookshop.org](https://uk.bookshop.org/a/12433/9781803362076?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Forbidden Planet](https://forbiddenplanet.com/388264-girls-of-little-hope-signed-bookplate-edition/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (signed bookplate edition) - [Amazon](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Girls-Little-Hope-Dale-Halvorsen/dp/1803362073/ref=sr%5F1%5F1?crid=3W409KSICCDFE&keywords=girls+of+little+hope&qid=1683136802&sprefix=girls+of+little+hope%2Caps%2C122&sr=8-1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Blackwell's](https://blackwells.co.uk/bookshop/product/Girls-of-Little-Hope-by-Joey-Hi-Fi/9781803362076?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Waterstones](https://www.waterstones.com/book/girls-of-little-hope/dale-halvorsen/sam-beckbessinger/9781803362076?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Foyles](https://www.foyles.co.uk/book/girls-of-little-hope/dale-halvorsen/9781803362076?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Mr B's](https://mrbsemporium.com/shop/books/girls-of-little-hope/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [The Guardian Bookshop](https://guardianbookshop.com/girls-of-little-hope-9781803362076?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) #### Buy the book in South Africa - [The Book Lounge](https://booklounge.co.za/product/girls-of-little-hope/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Wordsworth Books](https://www.wordsworth.co.za/products/girls-of-little-hope-paperback?%5Fpos=1&%5Fsid=ec1c679b3&%5Fss=r&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Loot](https://www.loot.co.za/product/girls-of-little-hope/rcbb-7534-g520?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Takealot](https://www.takealot.com/girls-of-little-hope/PLID91605862?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Exclusive Books](https://www.exclusivebooks.co.za/product/9781803362076?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) #### Buy the book in Australia/New Zealand - [Mighty Ape](https://www.mightyape.co.nz/product/girls-of-little-hope/35992406?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) #### Buy the book in Europe - [Lattes and Literature](https://lattesandliterature.com/products/girls-of-little-hope-sam-beckbessinger?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (Netherlands) - [Bokus](https://www.bokus.com/bok/9781803362076/girls-of-little-hope/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (Sweden) #### Buy the book in the US (or Kindle) - [Kindle](https://www.amazon.com/Girls-Little-Hope-Dale-Halvorsen-ebook/dp/B0BFZXJYB7/ref=sr%5F1%5F14??ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (ebook) - [eBay](https://www.ebay.com/itm/364292705106?chn=ps&mkevt=1&mkcid=28&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (softcover) ## Praise for Girls of Little Hope *"A riot (grrl) from start to finish, GIRLS OF LITTLE HOPE is the creepy 1980s true-crime-meets-STRANGER THINGS book of your dreams. Beckbessinger and Halvorsen have a deft way with character, and all their protagonists stay heart-achingly relatable right up to the gruesome I-can't-believe-they-went-there climax. A real joy of a story."* \- [Ally Wilkes](https://www.allywilkes.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) *“A dark, strange, and joyful book about sticking by your best friends in the face of a monstrous world.” -* [*Sam Humphries*](https://www.samhumphries.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) *“Girls of Little Hope is a tremendously confident, thrilling debut… I stayed up all night to finish it” -* [*Alex de Campi*](https://www.alexdecampi.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) *“Funny, uncanny, rich with dark nostalgia. Girls of Little Hope lures you deep into the woods, switching up the trail of breadcrumbs so you never quite know if you're getting closer to safety, or nearer to the truth. A comfortingly creepy reminder that friendships are the greatest adventure, and that we're never in this alone.” –* [*Dr Nechama Brodie*](https://nechamabrodie.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) *“A perfect blend of small-town angst and creeping horror that hits on a cellular level. Irreplaceable friendships meet unstoppable forces in a brilliant novel that gives you a hug but then gets its hooks into you. A dark shard of genius from two uniquely-talented minds.” –* [*Charlie Human*](https://twitter.com/charliehuman?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) *"Girls of Little Hope is an absolute gem: vivid, vibrant, convincing and captivating. It’s as wonderful, horrifying, and emotionally gripping as being a teenager." -* [*Sam Wilson*](https://www.samwilsonwriting.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) *“Twisty and clever, it grips you from the first page and doesn't let you go. This book kept me up at night, for all the right reasons.” -* [*Jen Thorpe*](https://jen-thorpe.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Read more reviews of the book](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/press/) --- ## Freebies #### Read the first three chapters [Girls of Little Hope - Beckbessinger and Halvorsen - SampleThe first three chapters of Girls of Little Hope - free to download and read.Girls of Little Hope - Beckbessinger and Halvorsen - Sample.pdf605 KBdownload-circle](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/content/files/2024/06/Girls-of-Little-Hope---Beckbessinger-and-Halvorsen---Sample.pdf "Download") #### A very 1996 RiotGrrrls playlist Listen to [a playlist of songs](A very 1996 RiotGrrrls playlist) that inspired the novel, featuring all of Donna, Rae and Kat's favourite Riotgrrrls. --- #### Content warnings The book contains scenes which some readers might find distressing or triggering. Please do not read the book if any of this is going to be unhealthy for you. - Overall, there is a fair amount of gore and body horror in the novel. Characters are killed, mutilated, and there are some descriptions of decomposing bodies. - ****Important:** there is a scene which depicts self-harm in some amount of detail. - There is a graphic depiction of the death of an animal. - One of the characters confronts severe fatphobia. - There are several depictions of homophobia, sexism and religious trauma. - There are depictions of the death of a parent. - There is a depiction of sex. - There's plenty of swearing. - There are moderately detailed descriptions of intimate partner violence. - There are minor mentions of sexual violence against minors. - There is a minor depiction of alcoholism. - There are minor mentions of drug use. - There are mentions of pregnancy and abortion. - There are mentions of parasitic worms, fungi, insects and rot. Warnings will continue to be updated as necessary – if there is anything you feel should be added, please let me know! # [Goodreads reviews for Manage Your Money like a F\*cking Grownup](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/62825562-girls-of-little-hope?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Reviews from Goodreads.com](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/62825562-girls-of-little-hope?utm%5Fmedium=api&utm%5Fsource=reviews%5Fwidget) ### Five things you didn't learn about STIs in Sex-Ed URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/five-things-you-didnt-learn-about-stis-in-sex-ed/ Last updated: 2020-07-01T16:41:57.000Z Despite the national preoccupation with sexually transmitted infections (STIs), most of us – adult humans who might have sex sometimes – are still walking around with some pretty outrageous misconceptions about them. For the first episode of our podcast, I talked to some sexual health experts and discovered there was a bunch of stuff about sexual health I WAS GROSSLY MISINFORMED ABOUT. Read the rest of this article and take a listen to the first episode of **Like a Fucking Grownup: the PODCAST!* over on **Daily Maverick*: [Five Things You Didn’t Learn About STIs in Sex-Ed](https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/article/2019-09-26-five-things-you-didnt-learn-about-stis-in-sex-ed/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ## UPDATES FROM SAM-LAND So... I have some news. I'm moving to Cambridge (UK) in January. I have BIG, CONFUSING FEELS about this! I'll probably write some more about this and why I made this decision over the coming months, but tl;dr: I'm moving for pull reasons, not push reasons, and I'm very sad to be leaving a country that I love with all my heart and still believe in absolutely, but there are some very compelling reasons for me to be in Cambridge right now. Guys, moving is so much admin! And how am I supposed to make new friends in my 30s!? Pray for me! Also - it's Bisexual Awareness Week! Hi, my fellow bi+s, I love you! We are LEGION! Here are three pieces of excellent bi content I read this week: - Zachary Zane on how being bi means you're [perpetually coming out](https://www.pride.com/long-reads/2015/7/16/perpetually-coming-out-exhausting?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - Robyn Ochs on [the past and future of bisexual activism](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/qa-bisexual-activist-robyn-ochs-on-bi-visibility%5Fb%5F577ec159e4b0f06648f4111a?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - Camille Beredjick on why[ it's okay if your identity changes over your lifetime](https://www.mic.com/articles/129785/here-s-what-no-one-ever-tells-you-about-bisexuality?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#.YSgFhaMe5) OkayIloveyoubyebyeeeeee! ### How to budget as a university student URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/starting-with-a-blank-slate/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T10:12:07.000Z Prepare yourself for the cutest ever email. *I have no idea if I'm emailing an automated line or a real person and if this email warrants or will receive a reply or not. I'm going to treat it a little bit like yelling into the void.* *I read your book, Sam! I loved it, it makes good points. I'm trying to follow it as best I can. I'm having difficulties applying some of it though.* *I'm 20, I go to uni (Rhodents4lyfe), and up until this year I have lived in res. So my living expenses are all really just random things like the once in a blue moon when I need washing powder or decide to bother enough to get milk. Therefore, figuring out what my monthly expenses are (aside from buying dodgy weed - Rhodents4lyfe) has been a nightmare, it's all over the goddamn place. It gets more complex because I bartend and therefore earn an ever fluctuating weekly rate - how the fuck do you calculate a concrete financial plan when you're finances are literally ever changing!* *Next year I'm moving into digs! (yay adulting!) and I really, really want to make all of these financial things be locked down by then. But I have no CLUE what my projected monthly expenses are going to be, if I'm able to count on bursary funds and, again, my salary varies from week to week.* *I guess the point of me rambling my woes into the void is that I very much back managing my money like a fucking grown up, but am having trouble applying some of your book to my life, because I'm in essence a financial clean slate (oh Lord, minus student loans), have no idea how much my monthly expenses are going to be, and my income is all over the show.* *On the off chance that this is more than just yelling into the void, I'd like to disclaim and say I am aware you're not a financial advisor, but also hello! Yay! Thanks!* \-- Hello! This is the void, yelling back at you (actually it’s Sam, hi!) Dude, you are being a total overachiever by trying to boss your money even before you move into your own digs / start earning a consistent salary, so you are now my hero. At your age I was a total disaster (I once got kicked out of the Rat & Parrot - I bet you didn’t think that was even POSSIBLE) because I vomited all over the bar thanks to some of that extremely dodgy RhodentWeed + about 10,000 litres of Sambuca (classy). ANYWAY - here’s the simplest solution for you: **open 2 bank accounts** at the same bank (probably Capitec or Tymebank). One of them is your Grownup Fund, and the other one is your Fuckaround Fund. Your bartending income and your bursary money gets paid into your Grownup Fund. Your dodgy weed allowance gets paid out of your Fuckaround Fund. You top up your Fuckaround Fund from your Grownup Fund every week, and that’s the only bank card that ever goes into your wallet, unless you’re going out to buy textbooks or something (put stickers on your cards or something, so you can tell them apart). Every Friday, pay yourself some pocket money by moving money from the Grownup Fund to the Fuckaround Fund. And over time, try to build up the cash buffer in your Grownup Fund until it’s enough to carry you through if you don’t earn anything for a month or two. Only when you’re in that situation, start thinking about opening up a real savings account for longer-term things. And sign up for [22seven](https://www.22seven.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), so that you can start learning the long-term averages about what your life actually costs. It will all change when you leave res, though. Living in digs was the time of my life and I’m sure it will be for you, too. My advice there is to agree with your digsmates about how you’ll buy communal home stuff upfront and how you’ll keep track of shared costs (take a look at a new local app called [Kin](https://thekinapp.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), the international version [Splitwise](https://www.splitwise.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), or try the good old fashioned “everyone sticks cash in a jar at the start of the week” method). Life in digs is full of unexpected financial surprises, so having that cash cushion will really help you. As for making a full-on budget, I've found that actually they're not all that helpful, especially when you're starting out and don't actually know yet what your life will cost. Focus on gathering the real info from 22seven, rather than trying to predict the future. But if you do want to a budgeting starting point, I found this [sample student budget](https://educonnect.co.za/sample-student-budgets/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) from Educonnect that might help. Also, learn to love beans+ spinach+ rice, it’s amazing how long you can live off of those three ingredients and they're cheap as hell. Best of luck! You’re thinking about this stuff really early in life, so you’re doing great :) Beaming hugs Sam ### What are your unconscious money scripts? URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/raising-money-savvy-kids/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T09:58:51.000Z *Your author: an extremely dorky kid with some weird ideas about how the world works.* [Take the money scripts quiz (external)](https://www.bradklontz.com/moneyscriptstest?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Hello, grownups! Last week someone asked me for advice about how to talk to her kid about money. “It’s not like I can just show her what’s in my bank account”, she said, laughing nervously. I told her, actually, that’s exactly what I think she should do. We never spoke about money when I was growing up. In my house you could make jokes about sex at the dinner table, you could have a robust and respectful discussion about politics or religion, but I do not remember a single conversation we ever had as a family about how money works, or our family’s financial situation. Ever. Money was the final taboo. But the thing is, when you’re not talking to your kids about something, that doesn’t mean they’re not still developing an alarmingly sophisticated understanding of what’s going on. Kids are sponges sucking up information about the world. They hear the anxious fights you have through closed doors. They sense when you’re stressed about covering the bills this month. They’re learning some fundamental beliefs about money, beliefs that it might take them a lifetime to unlearn. There’s a researcher named [Brad Klontz](https://www.bradklontz.com/moneyscriptstest?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) who studies money beliefs and how they correlate with life outcomes. He groups the ideas we hold about money into four basic groups: 1. **Money avoidance.** “Rich people are greedy.” “People get rich by taking advantage of others.” “It’s not okay to have more than you need.” “I don’t deserve a lot of money when other people have less than me.” 2. **Money worship.** “More money will make you happier.” “There will never be enough money.” “Money is power.” “Things would get better if I had more money.” “I will never be able to afford the things I really want in life.” 3. **Money status.** “Your self-worth equals your net-worth.” “I won’t buy something unless it’s new.” “If you live a good life, you’ll always have enough money.” “Most poor people don’t deserve to have money.” 4. **Money vigilance.** “It’s important to save for a rainy day.” “If you can’t pay cash for something, you shouldn’t buy it.” “Money should be saved, not spent.” “You shouldn’t tell people how much you have or make.” [Take the quiz right here, to figure out your own money scripts!](https://www.bradklontz.com/moneyscriptstest?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) There are other money stories I’ve encountered in my chats with people. “Climate change is going to throw us all into a Mad Max-style wasteland so the only sensible investment is potable water” has come up a few times. Also, “my retirement plan is to kill myself when I’m too old to work,” (geez, fellow 30-somethings, you’re a morbid bunch). Which of these money stories are true? All of them, probably, even the ones that contradict each other. All of them capture part of the truth. But none of them are the whole truth. And some of them are more helpful to you, at particular times in your life, than others. My mum, who grew up about as poor as it was possible for a white South African to be in the 60s, carries a lot of the “money worship” beliefs. I think many people who grow up poor end up with the words NOT ENOUGH MONEY banging around their brains like a jackhammer. It’s fear-motivated, this conviction that money will fix all your problems, so if you have problems, it’s because you don’t have enough money. The thing is, this belief was definitely true during some parts of her life when she objectively did not have enough money. But it still felt true to her during times when she had plenty; times when the things that were wrong in her life had nothing to do with money at all. Even when she was pretty financially stable, my mum was constantly talking about what she was going to do when she won the lotto. She always had an acute sense of the things she can’t afford, the life she could be living but wasn’t. For my dad, money was about status, and it was how he demonstrated his love. If my dad had five rand left in his bank account, he would spend that last five rand buying you ice cream. Money moved through his life like water. If he had it, he’d spend it without thinking, and mostly, he’d spend it on other people. If you mentioned that you kinda half-liked a bizarre overpriced hat you saw in a store window, he would march out immediately and buy you that hat, whether you actually had any use for it or not. If he didn’t have the cash, he’d buy it on credit. Money was always like a happy surprise, to my dad. Like, “oh look, money! What a strange and remarkable thing to find in my bank account! Let’s go spend it, quick, before it vanishes as mysteriously as it arrived!” Both of them were amazing parents who loved their kids. And both of their money philosophies kind of made sense. But also were kind of insane. You can imagine how hilarious the interplay was between my parents. My mom would literally hide money from my dad. And thank god, too, because my mom was the only one thinking about how we were going to pay for less exciting magical goodies like school fees (and my dad’s significant credit card bills). But she’d also take us one side tearfully every single year and warn us that they couldn’t afford to buy us proper Christmas presents that year (which was nuts: we always had way over-the-top Christmas presents, but she never felt like it was enough, and was always convinced that we were on the brink of financial disaster). It was a confusing time. I, a dumb kid, thereby concluded two irrefutable facts about my family’s financial situation: 1. We did not have enough money! 2. We had plenty of money! And because my parents never actually had a conversation with me about any of this, I never had a chance to reflect on questions like what it would actually mean to have enough money, how does one go about getting money in the first place, and how to make decisions about how to spend the money you do have. In this information vacuum, I started forming some money beliefs of my own: - You have no control over how much money you have. - Money is mysterious and it’s impossible to know whether you have enough or not. - It’s weird and wrong to ever talk about money (I’m making up for this now by talking about money ALL THE TIME AT VERY INAPPROPRIATE MOMENTS). It took me a long, long time to unpick these ideas from my brain, and replace them with more helpful beliefs that don’t leave me feeling so passive and bewildered. My dear, sweet parents who wanted nothing but the best for us, did all they could to protect us from difficult, adult money conversations. But the thing is, when you think you’re not teaching your kids about something, you might be accidentally teaching them the wrong things. Instead, what if you tried being radically honest with your kids? What if you brought them into family financial decisions? What if you gave them the gift of better money scripts than the ones you grew up with? --- Why am I talking about any of this? Because I’m working on a book about money for teens (aged 11-14ish). And I need your help. My only qualifications for writing this book are that 1\. I have been a teenager and 2\. that I have the sense of humour of a 9 year old (it’s all fart jokes). I am missing one pretty important qualification: I don’t actually have kids. I don’t have a good grasp of what questions kids are asking about money. Are they worried about what kinds of subjects to choose and how to think about jobs? Are they budgeting their pocket money? Do they still have lemonade stands and sell silkworms, or all they all trading Bitcoin now? Are they trying to invest the millions they’ve earned being Twitch streamers? If you know some kids, please tell me what questions they’re asking about money, so I can write them some profanity-free, joke-filled answers in an easy-to-read book. And if you’ve had conversations with your kids about money that went well, or if you’ve tried exercises with them that made a difference, I’d like to hear about those too, so that we can grow a generation of kids that are smarter and better-adjusted than we are. Mega smooches, friends! Love, Sam --- ## **Updates from Sam-land** Guys, the past month was a whirlwind. I went to Berlin. It’s the best city I’ve ever been to and I love it and I want to move there immediately. I want to be friends with every single person in that city, all those bohemian pervert freaks who love beer and socialism and have more hair on their armpits than on their heads (my people!). I went to London and visited my little book-baby in a whole other country. And then I came home to a shitstorm of gender-based violence and xenophobia. My heart is aching about all these things. I want to write something about walls, and about the logic of violence, and about how we can get corporations to stop burning our planet. But these are all heavy things that I can’t find the words for yet. - Some big news: we’re finally launching [the podcast](https://soundcloud.com/like%5Fa%5Ff-cking%5Fgrownup??ref=sambeckbessinger.com)! For real this time. Our first episode is dropping next week, and you’ll be the first to hear about it. I’ve been working on this for a year now and I’m so excited to get it into the world. Watch this space. - My book baby was the overall award winner at the [SA Book Awards](https://www.sabooksellers.com/2019-sefika-and-sa-book-award-winners-announced/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)! And my publisher pointed out that it’s been on the bestseller list for **80 weeks** now. WUT?! - Building apps is fun! We’ve been working on a re-design for [Lettuce](https://lettuce.money/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (now with 100% more kawaii bunnies) which will go live in a couple of weeks’ time. - I’ve been working with besties [Dale Halvorsen](https://twitter.com/JoeyHiFi?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and[ Lauren Beukes](https://twitter.com/laurenbeukes?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) on two TV show pitches. This is absolutely the most fun thing I’ve ever done with my time. I really hope one of them gets made (help me pray to the dark and mysterious TV gods). Both shows are weird and morbid and I think you'll like them. - Please read this collection of essays called [*Black Tax: Burden or Ubuntu?*](https://www.loot.co.za/product/niq-mhlongo-black-tax/xfhp-6300-g960?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)edited by Niq Mhlongo. Many of these essays made me cry, some made me laugh, and all of them helped me understand the world better. - The Open Book Fest was, as always, the most magical book festival in the world. If you missed it, come next year. ### Jungle Beat: Season 8 URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/jungle-beat/ Last updated: 2023-05-03T09:45:50.000Z *[Jungle Beat](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChUHOEe7zgYmrv7a%5FLlpNng?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)* is a family-friendly comedy series by [Sunrise Productions](https://www.sunriseproductions.tv/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It's been broadcast in over 180 countries on channels including Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon. The current season is showing on Boomerang across Africa. I was on the writing team for season 8. Season 8 sees a fresh dilemma in the *Jungle Beat* universe. Human explorers have come to Munki and Trunk’s jungle. The animals want to hide from them… but they can’t resist the lure of the explorer’s cute puppy! It was exceptionally fun to work on, especially under the guidance of comic madman/genius [Sam Wilson](http://www.samwilsonwriting.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). The whole Sunrise team are exceptional at their jobs, and the season looks and sounds amazing. If you like jokes and cute puppies (and, like, who doesn't) give it a watch. ## Watch some of the episodes I wrote: [Learn more](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3282216/episodes?season=8&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ### What roller coasters can teach you about stress 🎢 URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/what-roller-coasters-can-teach-you-about-stress/ Last updated: 2020-07-01T16:44:01.000Z Hi grownups :) Three days after my dad died, two of my best friends took me to Gold Reef City to ride rollercoasters. Ah, the Golden Loop, you magnificent fearbeast! I know that seems like an extremely strange way for friends to help you process grief, but I tell you, it was probably the most helpful thing that they could have done. The year before my dad died felt like a slow-motion nightmare. The things that were happening were impossible and terrible. But there was also a lot of admin. A lot of decisions to be made. A lot of keeping it together. A long scream, held inside for months and months. Do you know what made me feel much better? Therapy? Journalling? Actually processing my feelings like a normal person? Nope! What made me feel better was strapping myself into a metal tube and being thrown around loop-de-loops at high speeds. Screaming until I laughed. Screams that were like steam being let out from a pressure cooker. This all happened a long time ago, now, but it’s something I think about often. Because I think there’s a pretty profound lesson in there about how our brains work. When I told my extremely wise and emotionally competent friend Charne about my amazing roller coaster discovery, she sent me some passages from a book by Emily Nagoski, which stuck with me: Stress underlies worry, anxiety, fear, terror, all the variants of “Run away!” But it also underlies anger - irritation, annoyance, frustration, rage. And to a great extent it underlies the shutdown that characterises depression… The key to managing stress… is not simply “relaxing” or “calming down.” It’s allowing the stress response cycle to complete. Allow it to discharge fully. Let your body move all the way from “I am at risk” to “I am safe.” Or, more simply: Emotions are tunnels. You have to go all the way through the darkness to get to the light at the end. The thing is, human brains evolved to deal with dangers like being hunted down and eaten by lions. Falling off cliffs. Being stabbed by other humans. Human brains DID NOT evolve to handle things like wondering whether your boss hates you and might fire you, or feeling like you can’t choose what you want out of life, or worrying whether your partner might leave you, or figuring out how to juggle the forty-seven-million different responsibilities you have, or the ice caps melting, or wondering whether one of the maniacal strongmen presidents that run the world right now is going to start a nuclear war, or any of the other things that make being alive in 2019 so damned stressful. And yet our bodies still respond to stress the same way. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/05/stress-tegan.png) As my lovely buddy [Tegan Phillips](https://www.weeklyscribble.com/?offset=1562569200955&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) described it. When you’re being chased by a lion, stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol put your body into a GO! GO! GO! state where you’re ready for ACTION! This activates your body so that you can WRESTLE that big dumb catto to DEFEAT or you can DEFEND your little buddies or you can SPRINT your ass the hell away from it. When you’re trying to survive a lion attack, you either succeed and you survive, or you fail and you die. And if you survive, how do you feel? Amazing! Relieved! Grateful to be alive! That’s what it means to complete the stress response cycle. You did something with all those GO hormones. And afterwards, you’re flooded with endorphins and it feels freaking GREAT. But what happens if you don’t get to do anything with those stress hormones? What if the person making you feel unsafe you isn’t a lion, but your boss? Or the patriarchy? Or systemic inequality? There’s nowhere to run to and nothing to hit (attacking your boss is commonly frowned upon, in my experience). That’s when your stress hormones switch into freeze mode. Your body starts yelling STOP instead of GO. You shut down like a rabbit about to be run over by a car. All those bad feelings stay inside of you and they rot. And even if the thing that caused the stress goes away, you can still feel awful. It took me a long time to learn this incredibly simple lesson: removing the stressor does not automatically remove the stress. Stress sits in your body, and you’ve got to exorcise it out. Or, exercise it out (snigger) 🏃🏾‍♀️. Most of us understand that stress literally makes us sick. We carry our pain and our traumas in our bodies. But we don’t often talk about the fact that this works the other way around, too: you can hack your brain through physical experiences. You can force yourself to smile and you will actually feel happier. You can outrun imaginary lions and feel the swee, sweet rush of survival. As much as we think that we need to figure out all of our problems with our GIANT SMART BRAINS, sometimes what we really need is to just feel something. Sometimes, the best way to manage stress is just to complete the stress cycle. Unlock from freeze, escape the predator, rejoice. Simulate it if you have to. Watch a horror movie. Go for a run and [pretend that zombies are chasing you](https://zombiesrungame.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Go to a boxing class. Try skydiving. Or sit with a friend and have a good cry and let yourself feel all feels. You could also just go ride a rollercoaster :) I hope there are no lions chasing you this week, real or imaginary. But if there are, smack those bastards down. I’m rooting for you. All my love Sam --- ## **The state of Sam-land** - Here's me ranting about money and [gender inequality](http://www.702.co.za/podcasts/133/the-money-show/235955/09-august-2019?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) on Women's Day on 702 (my interview starts at around minute 9). - I'm going to be on a panel for the Cape Town Open Book Festival with two of my favourite people (Mohale Mashigo and Kay Carmichael) talking about managing money in a creative career. [Buy tickets here](https://openbookfestival.co.za/programme/drawing-money/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) because it's going to be lovely! - The little investment management app I was working on is now live in the app stores! [Try it out here](https://lettuce.money/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) if you're looking for an easy way to keep track of the value of your assets. - Guys I am about to start work on a SUPER TOP SECRET PROJECT involving my all time favourite superhero and I'm SO SO EXCITED but I can't tell you about it yet 👀 - Berlin - I'll see you on Monday, woohoo! ### How to buy a private island URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-to-buy-a-private-island/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T10:04:03.000Z All the way back in 2019 I did a TEDx talk about how to buy a private island. It's a talk about funding your biggest, most ambitious dreams! **Here's the full transcript.** So sometimes when I'm feeling very stressed, I like to go online and window shop things I could never afford to buy. And recently, I found this website creatively called privateislandsonline.com. Isn't the internet amazing? So on this website, you can literally browse private islands that are for sale. This is my favourite one that I found. Isn't it beautiful? It's called Dead Man's Cove, although they're not clear whether it comes with a dead man or if it's a BYO-DM kind of situation. I don't care. I love it. I want it. Look at how beautiful it is. And I like to sit and think about what it would feel like to be the kind of person who could afford to buy a private island. And the reason that I do this is that for most of my life, I felt really anxious all of the time because I felt like I did not have enough money. And not in the "oh no, I can't afford to buy a private island" kind of way. Like in the "I'm in so much debt I can't afford to leave this job that I really hate" kind of way. And some of you sitting here know what this feels like. Maybe for you, it's the "I'm in so much debt I can't afford to leave this abusive relationship" kind of way. Or the "I have a family that is relying on me and I don't know how to tell them that I'm going to let them down" kind of way. Maybe for some of you it's even the "geez, if I lost my job I'd be homeless in a month" kind of way. And what's nuts is that I felt all of this money anxiety even though I was earning what is considered a very comfortable middle class salary. And this got worse and worse until one day I caught myself thinking that the only way I could think of to get out of debt was just to kill myself. Which is not the financial strategy most experts recommend, it turns out. And if you think I was being overdramatic, research does in fact show that financial stress is the life event that is the most robust predictor of a suicide attempt, more so than losing a loved one or getting a divorce. So this was a real wake-up call for me. I realised something had to change with my relationship with money. But there was a problem. I had no idea how money works. No idea. Do I have to turn to a life of crime? What do I have to do to have just enough money that I can just be happy? That's all I wanted. So I went on this journey. I went on this mission. I decided I was going to figure this out. I was going to learn all of those secret rules about how money works. And along the way, I learned some pretty crazy things. And I would like to share three of them with you today. Okay. So here's the first crazy thing that I learned. It's to do with this quite large number over there. 372 billion rand and some change. That number—that is the amount of money that South Africans spent on gambling in 2017\. And that is just legal gambling, by the way. So that excludes online gambling and whatever your dodgy uncle tries to get you into, like around the braai. And the bottom number? That is the amount of profits that the legal gambling industry declared in the same year. So this was the first thing that I learned about money when I was wandering around the world thinking I had this big shameful secret—that I had no idea what was going on and surely everyone else did. No. I was wrong. Because I wasn't alone. No one knows how money works. We are a country of people desperate for more money, and we have no plan for how to get it short of winning the lottery. And that, by the way, is the percentage of South Africans who say that they play the lottery every single week. And this desire to have more money? It's rational. Because there really is a relationship between money and happiness. And if you don't think there is, you've never been broke. Except the thing is, this isn't a straight line that goes up forever indefinitely. If you give a thousand rand to someone who is homeless, you really will substantially improve the quality of their life—and we should all do that. But if you give the same thousand rand to, like, Patrice Motsepe, it's not going to make a big difference in his life. And theoretically, there is a number—a monthly income—beyond which any more money will not make you even the slightest bit happier. And people have studied this. And you might be thinking that this number is like, I don't know, a million rand a month income. But it's not. It's actually 38,000 rand a month before tax, which is about 28,000 rand after tax. And that is a lot of money, right? That number would put you in the top 2% of South African income earners. But it's not like private island money. And the thing is that even as you go up that curve, even for someone earning 15,000 rand or 20,000 rand a month, every additional bit of more money that you earn quickly starts to make less and less of an impact on your happiness. And even for someone earning like 15,000 rand a month, the research shows that there are other things that very quickly make a bigger difference—like, for example, having a shorter commute. That has a bigger impact on your happiness than earning a few extra thousand rand a month. But how many people do you know who feel like they have enough money? Whether these are people who are earning 15,000 rand a month or people earning 100,000 rand a month—how many people do you know who feel like they have enough money? So what's going on? So what gets really interesting is when you stop looking at what people earn and you start looking at how people spend their money. For many years, I kind of made this my job. So on my sneaky quest to figure out the secrets of money, I got myself a job designing apps that help people manage their money. And one of these apps was an app that tracks your spending. So you connect your bank accounts to it and it automatically tracks all of your transactions and it sorts them out into categories for you using clever AI and machine learning things. So for example, if you swipe your card at KFC, it'll know that that's fast food. But if you buy, like, the last garage pie at four in the morning, it'll say that's bad life decisions. So, like, automatic categorisation of your money. Back in 2016, we wanted to design a brand new categorisation schema. We wanted to create categories that match how people naturally think about their own money in their head already. So we got dozens of South Africans into our office from all across the income spectrum—the average was earning about 25,000 rand a month—and we put a bunch of transactions on post-its in front of them. And we asked them to sort them out into piles however they wanted. And we asked them to give each of the piles that they had made a name. And what blew my mind about this exercise is that almost every single person that we asked to do this sorted their money in exactly the same way, which is not what I expected. Essentially they did this: they made a big pile of stuff that they called needs. And it had boring stuff in it, like insurance and your car and your house—all that money that kind of just vanishes the day after payday. Right? Payday and then—gone. I don’t know—that stuff. And then they’d make this other pile. And this is where they would put stuff like the things that they do with their families for fun, or the weird hobbies that they have. The things that make them really unique. The things that really give their life a lot of joy and a lot of meaning. But weirdly, everyone felt like budgeting or being responsible with your money is an exercise in spending as little as you possibly can on your wants, so you can spend it on your needs, I guess. Which is nuts. And the average person that did this exercise for us in this income group was spending over 80% of their money on the stuff we call needs. And here's why that's kind of crazy. Human brains are really, really good at filtering out things that they've already seen. So when you buy something fancy—when you buy a new fancy couch or a fancy coffee machine or whatever with the little pods, the little pod machine—the first three days you use it, it really does make you happy. You're like, "Yay, look, my good pod machine." But then on day four it vanishes into the background of your life, and you never think about it again. And it has zero measurable impact on your happiness. Which is why researchers will say that actually, if you're trying to decide between buying a new couch and going on a cruise, you should go on the cruise. That's going to actually add more to your lifetime happiness than buying something that you see every day. It's pretty counterintuitive, right? And I'm not saying that you don't need things like a house. I'm not saying you don't need transportation. But it is very easy to buy too much of these things. It's very easy to buy too much house, and then most of your house is just sort of a storage warehouse for all of the pod machines that you bought. And it's really easy to buy too much car, and the car sits there for 23 and a half hours every single day doing nothing. And when I think about too much of the need stuff, I like to think about this guy. This is King Louis XIV. He was called the Sun King. King Louis XIV was the richest man in the world 300 years ago. He built this monstrosity, the Palace of Versailles. Very Donald Trump aesthetic. Lots of gold. He had too much house. But here's the thing about King Louis XIV. With all of this house that he had, he had to poop in a pot, because indoor plumbing hadn't been invented yet. He never got to watch Game of Thrones, because there was no electricity. He never tasted a taco. He was sick throughout his whole life. He had diabetes. He had gout. He had these incredibly painful dental abscesses. He also had this thing in his 40s called an anal fistula—and you don't want to Google that. And he had to have surgery for this in a time before general anaesthetic existed. And his surgeon—it was such a new type of surgery that his surgeon had to actually invent a new type of hooked scalpel specifically for the surgery that he was awake for. Just think about that. Louis XIV had six children, and only one of them survived until adulthood. Just by being alive today, all of us are wealthy in ways that the richest person in the world 300 years ago couldn't even have imagined. **And that leads me to the last thing that I learned, which is that it’s actually easier to become wealthier than you think it is.** I want you to close your eyes for a second. I want you to imagine all of the money that you are going to earn in the remainder of your life. I want you to picture it as this big pile of cash that you can jump in and swim around in like Scrooge McDuck. How big is that pile in your head? Pick up one of those pieces of paper in that pile in your imagination. Touch it. Every piece of paper in that pile is a piece of possibility. And you could do anything with it. If you want to, open your eyes quickly and take a look at this. To actually tell you how big that pile really is for you, find your age on the left, the one that’s closest to your age, and the monthly income at the top that’s closest to yours. That is the amount of money, by the way, that you are likely to earn over the rest of your life. It’s a lot. You have a lot of choices. But unfortunately, what you don’t have is a lot of time. 480. That is how many paycheques the average person earns over their working lifetime if you work constantly from age 25 to 65. 480 chances to decide what you’re going to do with all of that possibility. What you’re going to spend it on. And the thing is, because of how money works, the early paycheques are the ones that are the most powerful—because of this little magic force called **compound interest**. Right, let me take a little side tour and talk about how powerful compound interest is. Let’s talk about *Twilight*. It’s fine. I know we’ve all watched *Twilight*. You’re amongst friends. It’s fine. So, you know how in vampire movies the vampires are always living in these mansions, and they’ve got the waistcoats, and the really expensive body glitter? Have you ever wondered *why*? Why are vampires always hella loaded? The answer is compound interest. Okay—not really. But go with the analogy. If 200 years ago Edward Cullen had gone to Capitec with a R200 note—yes, Capitec didn’t exist, rands didn’t exist, but go with me—and he put it in a regular savings account earning 6% interest, and he left it there for 200 years… How much is that R200 worth today? It’s worth **a billion rand**. I’m not lying to you. I can show you my spreadsheet. I’m a nerd. This is the thing: compound interest is magical. And because it’s magical, it means that if you are young, **saving is your superpower**. In fact, it’s so much of a superpower that I’m betting that most of you sitting in this audience could afford to buy a private island because of it. Yeah. So remember earlier when I said that R38,000 a month is a lot of money but it’s not private island money? Yeah, so I was lying to you. You don’t even need R38,000 a month. You need **R2,000 a month**, from age 25 to 65. Because if you save R2,000 every month and you put it into a really simple investment like the JSE Top 40 and you leave it there, and you keep doing that until you’re 65, that money turns into **R5.5 million**. And Dead Man’s Cove—that island I showed you earlier—that costs R2.7 million. So you could buy **two**. You could buy two of them. And you could give one to me. Now, you probably don’t want to buy a private island. But I’m betting that for all of you, there’s something—some dream that you have—that really sets your bones on fire. That you’ve always told yourself you’ll never have because you can’t afford it. And my challenge to you is to ask yourself if you really *can’t* find an extra R1,000 or R2,000 a month—money that at the moment is going into stuff that just feels like it’s vanishing—that you could *rather* be using to fund your boldest, most outrageous dreams. Thank you. ### Survive the Century URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/survive-the-century/ Last updated: 2024-10-10T14:08:10.000Z You are the senior editor of the world’s most popular and trusted news organization. You have the enviable power to set the news agenda, and thereby shift the zeitgeist. Lead the world towards utopia, or unleash your inner villain to see how bad things can get. Nobody’s judging. Your choices will determine how well humanity will survive the 21st century. No pressure. *Survive the Century* is an interactive story-game created by Sam Beckbessinger in collaboration with a scientific advisory team lead by [Christopher Trisos](https://climaterisklab.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Simon Nicholson](https://www.american.edu/sis/faculty/snichols.cfm?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It features original fiction by Lauren Beukes, Rajat Chaudhuri, Maria Turtschaninoff and Sophia Al-Maria, as well as illustrations by Annika Brandow. It's entirely free to play. [Play now](https://survivethecentury.net/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) --- ## Press coverage "A novel way to make the big forces that shape our world manageable." - *Gizmodo* "The writers infuse the game with a mix of absurdity and startling realism." - *Grist* "Laden with smart quips, tragic and hilarious narrative forks, and cute illustrations, and with its lengthy list credits (including artists, scientists, and backers), it’s a lesson in what can be achieved through collaboration." - *Input Mag* [‘Survive the Future’ Is a Simple Game Making Our Climate Choices Real“You are the senior editor of the world’s most popular and trusted news organization. You have the enviable power to set the news agenda, and thereby shift the zeitgeist.” So reads the introductory text to Survive the Century. Also my dream bio, but I digress.![](https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_80,q_80,w_80/fdj3buryz5nuzyf2k620.png)GizmodoThe A.V. Club![](https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_675,pg_1,q_80,w_1200/3f8c0b2b560dd91c9a6c2f765d57752b.jpg)](https://gizmodo.com/survive-the-future-is-a-sneaky-simple-game-that-makes-o-1846849685?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Futuristic computer game hopes to beat climate change anxietySurvive the Century aims to use play to give users hope and a sense of agency about the planet’s future![](https://news.trust.org/application/assets/genx/images/apple-touch-icon.png?v=12345678)news.trust.orgThomson Reuters Foundation![](https://news.trust.org/contentAsset/image/1af7ea0a-3dcd-42e4-aa14-65a28c769f05/image/byInode/1/filter/Resize,Jpeg/jpeg_q/70/resize_w/1100)](https://news.trust.org/item/20210510153159-kmnud/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Meet the team behind the climate game that lets you save the world — or watch it burnSurvive the Century maps out the multitude of possible futures under climate change.![](https://grist.org/fix/wp-content/themes/grist-fix/static/img/favicon/android-icon-192x192.png)FixBrianna Baker![](https://grist.org/fix/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2021/07/Survive-The-Century-2.png)](https://grist.org/fix/survive-the-century-choose-your-own-adventure-climate-game/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [The new hot theme in gaming: climate changeThe climate crisis is finding its way into more and more games: Can games help shift people’s perspectives?![](https://www.fastcompany.com/apple-touch-icon.png?v=5)Fast CompanyKristin Toussaint![](https://images.fastcompany.net/image/upload/w_1280,f_auto,q_auto,fl_lossy/wp-cms/uploads/2021/09/p-1-90671510-why-so-many-games-are-tackling-climate-change.jpg)](https://www.fastcompany.com/90671510/the-new-hot-theme-in-gaming-climate-change?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [This text-based game wants to shift your thinking about climate change‘Survive the Century’ is a cute and hilarious choose-your-own-adventure game where your choices let you prevent, or expedite, a climate-change apocalypse.![](https://cdn2.bustle.com/input/2021/icon-17641d8f7a.png)InputCraig Wilson![](https://imgix.bustle.com/uploads/image/2021/5/10/93f7336c-f578-4e57-aaf1-96fcddd007d4-survive-the-century.png?w=1200&h=630&fit=crop&crop=faces&fm=jpg)](https://www.inputmag.com/gaming/survive-the-century-game-wants-to-shift-your-thinking-about-climate-change?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Acumen | Can You Survive the Century?How should Covid-19 vaccines be funded? Should oil companies be allowed to buy advertising space in newspapers to argue that emission reduction efforts are rushed? These are the types of questions you’ll be confronted with in Survive the Century.![](https://www.acumenmagazine.co.za/favicon/android-icon-192x192.png)Acumen![](https://www.acumenmagazine.co.za/svg/acumen.svg)](https://www.acumenmagazine.co.za/articles/can-you-survive-the-century-11789.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Vaccines & sinking citiesGameplay involves a journey through forking paths of policy choice and consequent scenarios juiced up with hilarious, satirical and irreverent stories by four writers![](https://www.telegraphindia.com/images/favicon.png)Telegraph IndiaRajat Chaudhuri![](https://assets.telegraphindia.com/telegraph/2021/Jul/1625418299_gadgets-and-game.jpg)](https://www.telegraphindia.com/science-tech/game-review-survive-the-century-by-three-kids-in-a-trenchcoat/cid/1821208?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) --- ## Behind-the-scenes An in-depth Q&A about how we created *Survive the Century* in [*New Scientist*](http://view.e.newscientist.com/?qs=984269d22233c4286b2feafebd933b01eaf1bc4464a1aa0911af4fb9e183654efe24601d102afad505145b521cecfdbf14e769babfccffb23cc4c6c8ac6dbdbae375bbea25b2374a5a6bc76a95481e413019af07c4cd791e&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). An [op-ed in *The Ecologist*](https://theecologist.org/2021/jul/22/how-game-system?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)about why we chose to create a silly game to communicate serious science. Some [details about the technical process](https://electricbookworks.com/work/survive-the-century-game-book-adventure/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) we followed to design and build the game, written by our publishing partners Electric Book Works. --- ## Launch announcement Hello grownups! I am so proud to announce the launch of **[Survive the Century](https://survivethecentury.net/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)**: a branching narrative game about climate change that I co-created with scientists [Christopher Trisos](https://climaterisklab.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Simon Nicholson](https://www.american.edu/sis/faculty/snichols.cfm?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). In this game, you get to play the editor of a popular newspaper. Your decisions on how to talk about climate change dictate how the world adapts (or doesn't) to a warming planet from 2021 to 2100\. Along the way, you get to read headlines and news stories about the future you've created, contributed by some of my all-time favourite science fiction writers: **Lauren Beukes, Rajat Chaudhuri, Maria Turtschaninoff** and **Sophia Al-Maria.** It's up to you whether you lead the world to a green utopia, or unleash your inner sociopath to see how bad things can get. Nobody's judging. Co-creator Simon Nicholson has this great description of what the game's trying to communicate: > Climate change is not just some distant environmental matter. Climate change is made and experienced by people. How the future will play out is going to be shaped by choices taken by people today, and tomorrow, and the day after. A branching narrative game felt like the perfect way to explore climate issues, because it felt like a playful way to think about **our choices**. The ones we need to make now, but also the choices that still lie ahead of us. We had [a longer conversation with Adam Vaughan from *New Scientist*](http://view.e.newscientist.com/?qs=984269d22233c4286b2feafebd933b01eaf1bc4464a1aa0911af4fb9e183654efe24601d102afad505145b521cecfdbf14e769babfccffb23cc4c6c8ac6dbdbae375bbea25b2374a5a6bc76a95481e413019af07c4cd791e&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about why we chose the narrative game format, if you're interested. I believe that the source of so much of our climate nihilism is that we make the mistake of talking about climate change as though it's binary: either we stop climate change or we don't. But of course, there's no stopping climate change. Instead, it would be much more helpful to talk about **limiting the damage** as much as we can; talking about all the potential ways that we can respond to, and even adapt to, a changing climate. Co-creator Chris Trisos has this great metaphor about climate change that's been rattling around in my brain a lot. **Imagine a highway.** You start at a world that's 1°C hotter than pre-industrial times. 1°C isn't paradise, but it's a pretty good place to live. But the further you drive from 1°C, the more difficult things get for us. We're already driving on the highway. The highway goes from here all the way to 4°C by the end of the century. 4°C suuuuuucks. We do not want to live there. 4°C doesn't mean that the whole human race ends, but it does mean that we will have to withstand more disasters, more disease, more fights over scarce resources. Millions of people and animals will die, and life will be harder for most people. We want to get off the highway long before we get to 4°C. Right now, we're coming up to the offramp that goes to 1.5°C. It is still plausible that we could take bold action now and get off the highway here. 1.5°C is a worse neighbourhood than 1°C, but it's MUCH better than 4°C. We could adapt to 1.5°C. We could flourish. And yes, at some point, we will have driven past the 1.5°C exit (we haven't yet, but we're getting close and haven't even pulled into the slow lane yet). But when we drive past the 1.5°C exit, should we just throw our hands up and say "oh well, I guess we're going to 4°C then". No! We should try to get off at 1.6°C. Or 1.7°C. Or 1.8°C. Every 0.1°C matters, and we will have to keep fighting over each fraction of a degree. **Our choices matter. It's not over.** There are many choices still ahead of us. --- What made this project so damn fun is that it's the most collaborative thing I've ever worked on. This game is the creation of **literally dozens of people**. This game is a work of fiction, but it is informed by real science. A team of brilliant (and hilarious) scientists and academics co-ordinated through the [National Socio-Environmental Synthesis Center (SESYNC)](https://www.sesync.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) workshopped the main storylines with our fiction writers (find all their names in the "Credits" tab; every single one of them deserves a trophy). We used a fascinating climate solutions simulator called [En-Roads](https://www.climateinteractive.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to validate our climate models (and got helpful insights from their team). And of course, my co-creators Chris and Simon spent endless patient hours with me helping me to understand the nuances of energy policy, geo-engineering and why it's unlikely that Bruce Willis could stop climate change single-handedly, despite what 90s apocalypse movies led me to believe. Once we had the storylines in place, Lauren, Rajat, Maria and Sophia brought them to life with their articles from the future. If you don't want to play the whole game through, you can just click the "read the stories" button on the homepage and read them directly. There are some absolute gems! Read an obituary for Capitalism, a review of a floating restaurant in 2090, and a statement from a group of activists called Womb Riot who are sick of being the pregnancy surrogates for the super-wealthy on a nascent Mars colony. It was so wonderful working with all of them. South African digital publishing powerhouse [Electric Book Works](https://electricbookworks.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) did all the heavy lifting with web development and publishing (and like a bajillion other things), and are going to help us release a physical book version soon. Special thanks there to Arthur, Klara and Louise, who went above and beyond, and then beyond again. Annika Brandow and Karen Lilje are the reason the game is so beautiful, and Louis Greenberg and Wesley Thompson helped tighten up the language and test it. And there are even more people behind the scenes who helped us with marketing, play-testing, and so much else. Too many to name, but I'm grateful to all of you! And of course, none of it would have been possible without the generous support of our funders: [Climate Interactive](https://www.climateinteractive.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and the [National Socio-Environmental Synthesis Center (SESYNC)](https://www.sesync.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). You know that old proverb, if you want to go fast, go alone, but if you want to go far, go together? Well, it's bloody true. Every person who worked on this project pushed the game further that I could have imagined. Making things alone is hard. Making things with other people is friggen delightful. This project took a long time, but every day of working on it was a joy. I hope that joy shines through, and that you enjoy playing it as much as we enjoyed making it. [Whatcha waiting for? Play the game!](https://survivethecentury.net/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Wishing you designer cooling suits, collaboration, and a 1.5°C world, Sam ### Being kinder to old you 🧓🏻👵🏾👴🏿👵🏼 URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/being-kinder-to-old-you/ Last updated: 2020-05-02T14:25:55.000Z Wanna see something hilarious? This is what I’m going to look like when I’m old, according to one EXTREMELY DODGY APP called FaceApp (more on this later). Guys, I have many feelings about this. - Holy shit, that looks exactly like my grandmother. - CYUUUUUUTE! - … and also kind of like my mom? - WEEEEEEEIRD! - Christ my nose is going to get even bigger when I age, isn’t it? The weird thing about the photo on the right, is that I don’t feel like it’s me. Not really. I feel a lot of warmth towards her, like I would for any other elderly stranger (I love hanging out with old people, they tend to share my affection for apricot jam and daytime soapies). But she’s not me. And of course, this is why saving for your retirement is so freaking hard. Saving money for future you can feel like giving it away to a stranger. The future is a dark valley of unknowns - I have no idea who Older Me is, what she’s into, where she lives or what she wants. So trying to plan my life around HER needs feels really hard. Especially when I have so many needs of my own already. There’s science that backs this up. [A team of researchers from Stanford](https://hbr.org/2013/06/you-make-better-decisions-if-you-see-your-senior-self?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) once did a ran fMRI scans on people and found that the brain patterns when people describe themselves 10 years in the future are more similar to when they describe actors than when they describe their current selves. Then they got people to put on virtual reality goggles and look at themselves in a mirror. Half of the subjects saw themselves. The other half saw an aged version of themselves. Then they were asked to allocate $1,000 among four options: buying something nice for someone special, investing in a retirement fund, planning a fun event, or putting money into a spending account. The people who saw the aged image saved nearly twice as much for retirement. The math on saving for retirement isn’t that hard. A basic rule of thumb is to take half your age that you start saving for retirement, and save that percentage of your income (so save 15% if you start at 30, save 25% if you start at 50). Or you can get more hardcore than that and read up about the 4% rule (your savings target is 25 x your annual expenses). Pretty much every country offers tax-efficient options for those savings. There are dozens of articles about all of this online ([South Africans, here’s a good one for you](http://www.stealthywealth.co.za/2018/01/the-best-ra-in-south-africa.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)). But like so much else, the hard part about money **isn’t the money part**. The hard part is confronting your own emotions. The hard part is dealing with the fact that one day - if you’re lucky - you are going to be old. One day you’ll probably not be able to work any more. One day you will be a different person to the person you are now. And that person is your child, in a way, in that they are 100% dependent on you and your choices now. You are responsible for them. You have to remind yourself of this. Because we tend to forget. Buddhists have been onto this for centuries. In some countries, they do a practice called [corpse meditation](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mara%E1%B9%87asati?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), where they sit for hours and contemplate photographs of dead bodies in various stages of composition. Sometimes, they do this with real corpses that are donated to the temples. This might seem morbid as heck. But maybe it’s healthier than what the Western World does, which is hide away death and ageing and refuse to ever discuss it in the cultural equivalent to sticking our fingers in our ears and going LA LA LA LA I’M NEVER GOING TO DIE. One way I try to combat this is to make sure that I have some heroes who are old, and not let the media full my mind only with aspirational 20 year old pop stars with perfect bodies. I try to have models for what being old can look like, and how rad it can be. I think about women like Patti Smith, bell smith, Margaret Atwood, Laurie Anderson - how they’re still making subversive and important work in their 60s and 70s. How they seem to give fewer and fewer fucks as they age. Or my #1 old woman idol: the late, great Eartha Kitt who was cool as hell until the day she slipped off this earth to get into something more comfortable. You will make different choices for your life if you spend time thinking about your own Old Self. They might still feel like a different person, but at least you could become better acquainted with them. Even start to feel compassion for them. I’m working on my dreams for Old Me. I want her to be one of those old women who wears neon muumuus all the time and does oil paintings of weirdly sexual fruits and has orange hair and fourteen cats and says rude things all the time because she gives no fucks. I want her to go on archeology tours and take psychedelics and get a pointless PhD and hike in the mountains by herself. So, to give Old Me the chance to do those things, **here are four big things I’m doing at the moment:** - Trying to build up a running habit, because she’s going to need this heart to keep pumping for several more decades, and [heart disease is the way Old Me is most likely to die](https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/the-top-10-causes-of-death?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - Keep putting work into my friendships, and not letting one person be my only source of support. Relationships are what give life meaning, and you have to diversify because no-one lives forever. - Building a career that gives my life meaning and doesn’t rely on someone else employing me, because people are dicks about employing old people. - Saving as much freaking money for her as I can. **What do you want for Old You?** And what are you going to do now, to give them a better chance at having that life? Tell me in an email - I will read it! I’ll share some of my favourite answers with the rest of you. All my love Younger Sam (borrowing the body that will one day belong to Old Sam). Psst… guys, as fun as they are, be careful using apps that put cool filters on your photos. My friend, data privacy activist Murray Hunter, says this: **“FaceApp’s built up a database of about 150million people’s faces — which it’s likely using to train facial-recognition algorithms.* **“It’s a symptom of a much bigger problem, given the myriad ways that facial recognition is being rolled out across the world. A lot of people talk about this as the users’ fault but we need to put the blame squarely with the companies and governments and crappy laws that enable these practices.”* Murray is crowdfunding a hilarious children’s book to help you have better conversations about data privacy with toddlers (I’ve read it; it’s mega cute). [Pre-order yours here](https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/boris-the-babybot-a-storybook-about-surveillance/x/22185084?utm%5Fsource=sailthru&utm%5Fmedium=email&utm%5Fcampaign=bck-07292019update&utm%5Fterm=#/). ### What might you earn over the rest of your lifetime? URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/what-might-you-earn-over-the-rest-of-your-lifetime/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T09:54:01.000Z Visualise all the money you’re still going to earn over the rest of your life. Close your eyes and picture it for a moment, a big pile of cash, like something Scrooge McDuck might go swimming in. Can you see it? Imagine picking up one or two of those pieces of paper. Each bit of cash is a piece of possibility. You could do anything with it. Have you ever stopped to think about how big that pile might actually be? ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/07/Screenshot-2026-07-24-at-10.45.07-1.png) Check the table above for an estimate, based on your age and your monthly income. It assumes you’ll never get a raise or a promotion, and that you’ll work until you’re 65 never missing a paycheque. All the numbers are in "today's" value. Or if you want to get fancy, plug the specifics into this calculator: ### Lifetime earnings How much money might you earn over the rest of your working life? Current age Current monthly salary, after tax (R) Annual salary increase over inflation (%) You might still earn: We assume you work until 65, and that your salary increases 1% a year (above inflation). Edit the figures to match your own career expectations. Holy shitballs, that’s a big number, right? How much of that money are you going to spend on the stuff that really matters to you? There are more useful [money calculators](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/money-calculators-2/) here. ### Upshot: Stories of Financial Futures URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/upshot/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T07:42:18.000Z *Upshot* is an anthology of seven science fiction stories with financial themes, curated by South African powerhouse Lauren Beukes and featuring Tade Thompson, Mohale Mashigo, Charlie Human, Angela Makholwa, Bongani Kona and me. Lauren says in her introduction: > I picked some of the best writers I know, whose work is bold and imaginative, deeply human, and also has something to say about who we are in the real world. I contributed two stories: ["Undercurrency"](https://upshot.riscura.com/undercurrency/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), a story about kelp farming in the Atlantic ocean, and ["According to Plan"](https://upshot.riscura.com/according-to-plan/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), about an algorithm that takes over your financial planning, whether you like its plan or not. You can [read both stories](https://upshot.riscura.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for free online. I loved [this review of the collection](https://brittlepaper.com/2022/02/a-review-of-upshot-stories-of-financial-futures-curated-by-lauren-beukes-ed/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by Wole Talabi. ### Jessica Jones: Playing With Fire URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/on-superheroes-and-the-joys-of-writing-with-others/ Last updated: 2023-03-05T07:42:38.000Z The safe choice? Walk away. But when has Jessica Jones ever played it safe? > "Once again Serial Box uses the playground that is the Marvel Universe to its fullest potential." -But Why Tho Jessica Jones has made an art of ignoring her particular brand of super-powered trauma. But these days, she’s giving the whole “self-care” thing a try. Seeing a therapist, finding healthier coping mechanisms (read: no business-hours drinking), working toward not wanting to punch things all the time. Maybe even taking the occasional case that won’t eat her alive. A simple missing persons case seems like just the ticket. But when a boy’s body turns up under an overpass in what looks like a cut-and-dried OD, Jessica can’t let it go and dives headlong into an obsessive search for answers. *Marvel's Jessica Jones: Playing With Fire* is a serialised novel and audiobook written by [Sam Beckbessinger](https://realm.fm/contributors/sam-beckbessinger?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Vita Ayala](https://realm.fm/contributors/violeta-ayala?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Lauren Beukes](https://realm.fm/contributors/lauren-beukes?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), [Zoe Quinn](https://realm.fm/contributors/zoe-quinn?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and [Elsa Sjunneson](https://realm.fm/contributors/elsa-sjunneson-henry?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Voiced by [Fryda Wolff](https://realm.fm/contributors/fryda-wolff?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Art by [Annie Wu](https://realm.fm/contributors/annie-wu?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). [Listen now](https://www.realm.fm/shows/jessica-jones?utm%5Fcampaign=sam%5Fbeckbessinger&utm%5Fmedium=author&utm%5Fsource=website) [Read the reviews on Goodreads](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/53407443-marvel-s-jessica-jones?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (4.2/5 stars - yeah baby!) --- ## Launch announcement Hello, grownups :) Okay, amongst all the extremely sad and alarming stuff that's been going on in the world recently, please allow me a moment to gush about something that brings me enormous joy. I can finally talk about the Super-Secret Project I’ve been working on. DRUMROLL PLEASE… It’s *Marvel’s Jessica Jones: Playing with Fire*, a serialised fiction project that’s going to be available on [Realm](https://www.realm.fm/shows/jessica-jones?utm%5Fcampaign=sam%5Fbeckbessinger&utm%5Fmedium=author&utm%5Fsource=website) this May. I was gobsmackingly privileged to be able to work on this with some of my favourite writers: Lauren Beukes, Vita Ayala, Zoe Quinn and Elsa Sjunneson. The reason this means so much to me is that Jessica Jones was the first Super Hero character I ever fell in love with. I still remember the day that I met her. I was sitting in my friend Andrew's room, telling him that while I’d recently been getting into Graaaaaphic Noooooovels *(pushes glasses up pretentiously)* I felt like Super Hero comic books weren’t really my jam. I’d based this perception entirely on my stereotypes about what Super Hero stories were and who they were for, you understand, not on ever having actually read any. I remember Andrew squinting at me, and grabbing a copy of *Alias: Volume 1* off his bookshelf and handing it to me. "Just ... give this one a try," he said, with his usual understated perceptiveness. That book was a revelation. Inside those pages was Jessica Jones, the self-destructive alcoholic ex-hero turned-P.I. who’s strong enough to throw cars over her head but still wrestling with PTSD, someone whose strength had been used as someone else's weapon, trying to figure out what it means to be a good person. I loved her immediately. Jessica was my gateway drug to many other Super Heroes. Jessica lead me to *Black Panther* and *Ms Marvel* and *X-Men* and *Gwenpool* and *Squirrel Girl*, and eventually, even to *Superman*. These stories were nothing like the black-and-white, hero-vs-villain, wish-fulfilment stories I'd expected. They were complex, likeable characters wrestling with questions about good and evil, and with their own flaws. And the thing about them that I found so intriguing - that I still find intriguing - is that uncountable writers have helped imagine into being. They're contemporary mythologies. The ancient Greeks told stories about Athena and Aphrodite and Zeus and Dionysus; we tell stories about Iron Man and Jean Gray. These characters are so well known, that we can all tell stories about them. They belong to everyone. Working on this project was unlike anything else I've ever written, because Jessica is such a well-established character. She's got a history; she's got well-established quirks and beliefs. I was working with the other writers who were involved in this project, but also, in a way, with every other writer who's ever written a story in this shared fictional universe. It reminded me of playing make-believe games with my friends when I was a kid: you're bouncing off each other, asking, "but what would *Jessica* do in this situation?". Guys, it was so fun. Making things with other people is so much better than making things alone. And getting to write a story for a character I've loved for so long... that was pretty damn magical. It reminded me that **this** is why I spend so much time thinking about how to save money, because the dirty secret no-one talks about is that [you can only be an artist if you can afford it.](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/feb/27/a-dirty-secret-you-can-only-be-a-writer-if-you-can-afford-it?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Whatever your big dream is, save for it. Make time for it. Life's too damn short not to. You can pre-order the whole season of *Marvel’s Jessica Jones: Playing with Fire* right now. I hope you have as much fun reading it as I had working on it. [Start reading now](https://www.realm.fm/shows/jessica-jones?utm%5Fcampaign=sam%5Fbeckbessinger&utm%5Fmedium=author&utm%5Fsource=website) Wishing you games of make-believe with your friends (over Zoom), Sam ### Fin Week with Pap Culture URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/video-series-with-pap-culture/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T13:39:27.000Z Thanks so much to my friends at Pap Culture for recording these videos with me. Those guys are dope, you should [subscribe to their channel](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk4KfvYBQp6fXqQxP9ywG6w?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ### How well do you know your partner's money style? URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-well-do-you-know-your-partners-money-style/ Last updated: 2026-07-25T07:28:30.000Z It might sound unromantic, but learning how to talk about money in your relationship is one of the most important things you can do to keep your love alive, because money problems are one of the most common reasons for divorce. Money touches all of our fears, our insecurities, our hopes and our values. So here’s an exercise to help you get onto the same page: a list of money questions for you and your partner. Put aside an evening, make your favourite dinner, and spend some time independently writing down your answers to these questions. When you’re done, swop answers and read what your partner wrote. These questions will ask you to think about your financial goals, beliefs and worries, and learn about theirs. Depending on where you are in your relationship, you might want to skip some of these questions. Agree which ones you want to answer before you begin. It’s important to go into this exercise with love, patience and empathy for each other. Remember, this exercise is mostly about **learning about your partner**, not just convincing them of your point of view. ## The Questions ### Your money type - What emotions come up for you when we talk about money? - What’s more important to you: security, or experiences? - Are you a spender or a saver? - What did you like about how your family handled money growing up? - What didn’t you like? - What worries you most about my financial behaviour? - What are the ways you think I'm better with money than you are? - What worries you most about your own financial behaviour? ### Your money situation - How much do you earn? - How much debt do you have? - How much do you have in savings and investments? - What are some big financial goals you have for the next 5 years? - What about for the next 30? - What steps are you taking to reach your financial goals? What steps would you like to take? - What’s the worst money mistake you made in the past? ### Budgeting and money management - Do you like to have a detailed budget? - Do you save at the beginning or end of the month? - Do you think it’s important that couples share all their money in a single account? Why? - Do you think it’s important that couples have some private spending money? Why? - What is the maximum we could spend independently without consulting each other? - What are the indulgent expenses that give you the most happy? - What are the things in our household budget that you think we should cut back on? - Who should be in charge of investing for our future? ### Money values - Do you think debt is bad? - If there came a time where one of us earned much more than the other, what would be the fair way to split the bills? - How much do you think holidays should cost? - How much do you think we should have in savings for emergencies? - Do you hope to start a business, study further, or take a long sabbatical one day? How would we fund this? ### Kids and family *Obvs only include what's relevant.* - Do you want our (future or current) children to go to a private school? Do you want to be able to pay for tertiary education? - If we had children, how would we split the costs of childcare? - If either of our parents became sick or couldn’t look after themselves any more, how much would we support them? - Would you help your siblings or extended family financially if they needed it? To what limit? ### Closing - What’s one thing that really excites you when you think about our future together? ### The all-in-one flowchart for managing your money URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-all-in-one-flowchart-for-managing-your-money/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T10:30:05.000Z Feeling overwhelmed about all the different things you need to do in order to get your money life under control? Here’s a simple flowchart that takes you through, step-by-step, all the major milestones you’ll reach on the rocky road to financial freedom. Now, real life is never simple or linear, so don’t expect your life to track these steps perfectly, either! Think of it like a map: it’s really helpful to have a rough idea of where to go, but the really interesting stuff happens in the little unplanned detours you might take along the way. This flowchart is yours to download, print and share as you wish. ### GAH! An error in the book URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/gah-an-error-in-the-book/ Last updated: 2020-04-30T09:56:15.000Z Shock! Horror! There’s a tiny mistake in the OTHERWISE 100% PERFECT book! On page 77, you’ll find this graph comparing the impact on your net worth of taking R1000 out of savings vs. taking a loan for it. I’m a moron and I switched the key around. The RED bars show you what happens if you pull the money out of savings, and the BLACK bars show you what happens if you take a loan for the money. The X-axis compares how long you take to pay back the money. Woops. Sorry. ### Schemes and Scams URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/schemes-and-scams/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T10:20:24.000Z There’s no way to get rich quick, but there are a hundred ways for people to lose everything because they try to. Here’s our list of money making schemes and scams that we think you should avoid, because we don’t want you to lose your hard-earned moolah. We will not link to any of these sites. ## Under investigation These schemes are being investigated by the South African National Consumer Commission, because they might be pyramid schemes. Avoid them. - Mirror Trading International - MMM - Kipi AKA Mydeposit241 - Direct Direct Intervention Program to Empower South Africans (Dipesa) - Instant Wealth Club - Make Believe - NMT Investments - Sikhese - Wealth Creation Club - WorldVentures ## Gross MLM businesses These are highly suspect multi-level marketing businesses that are more about you selling the opportunity become a salesperson, than about selling the actual product. These businesses are (probably) not actually illegal, but I want you to stay away from them please because I love you and I don’t want you to lose your friends and money. - Clientèle Life - Amway - WorldVentures - Herbalife - Mannatech - Avon - Nu-Skin - Agel ## Bitcoin and schemes Bitcoin schemes are all the rage these days. There are so many popping up every day it can be hard to keep track, but here’s a good article about [how to identify a Bitcoin scam](https://www.bitcoinzar.co.za/bitcoin-schemes-south-africa/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ## Got any tips? Know of any other dodgy or suspect schemes or scams? Let us know in the comments and we’ll investigate. ### Radtastic investment funds and savings accounts (South Africa) URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/good-funds/ Last updated: 2026-08-06T12:56:41.000Z *Howzit tjommas! This is the SA version of this page.* [*The UK version is here.*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/radtastic-investment-funds-and-savings-accounts-uk/) *Last updated: 24 July 2026* ****In brief: my top picks** 1. [****Freedom Fund**](#freedom-fund): The simplest beginner long-term investment for most people is the ****10X Total World Stock Feeder ETF** bought through ****EasyEquities**. You can use your TFSA wrapper. 2. [****Retirement Annuity**](#retirement-annuity): the ****Sygnia Skeleton Balanced 70** (bought through Sygnia) remains the cheapest for people starting out. If your balance is over R700k, switch to a ****flat-fee option**. 3. [****Oh Shit Fund**](#savings) (1 month's emergency savings): don't overthink it. Just use your ****bank's savings accounts**, and add a 7-day or 32-day notice period if you need help with discipline. 4. If you're building a chunkier [****Table Flip Fund**](#savings), open a ****money market** account. It's not a bad idea to keep it in your ****access bond** if you have one, but do read my warning below. 5. If you're saving for something [****specific**](#specific-goals), match your timeline to your risk-level (I have a table for you). ****GoTyme's Goalsave** accounts are fun if you like splitting your savings into specific pots. So, you've decided you want to start investing your money. You open up an investing app and ... ummmmm ... there are FIVE MILLION FUNDS TO CHOOSE FROM! Overwhelmed, you decide to chuck your phone into the ocean and just go live in a treehouse instead. But never fear, friends! Underneath all this chaos there are actually only two ways to invest in shares: **actively**, or **passively**. If you've [read my book](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/manage-your-money-like-a-f-cking-grownup/), you'll know I'm a big believer in passive investing. Passive funds [*outperform active funds about 90% of the time*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/money-calculators-2/). So chill the fuck out and invest in a simple, low-fee fund that keeps your money safer by diversifying it as broadly as possible. **Choose things that:** - Have the **lowest possible costs** (look for the “total expense ratio/TER” or “effective investment cost/EAC”). - Are with **reputable, legit companies** that won’t vanish with your money. - Are friendly for people who like to **handle their investments themselves, online** instead of having to go through a broker because, come on, it’s 2026. New funds come out all the time! And I’m also not a wizard, so I might have missed some really great options. If you’ve found a fund that you think is hella-mega-cool, [let me know about it](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/contact/) so that we can keep improving this list together. 💡 Heyyyyyyy… remember how I’m not a professional, qualified financial adviser? Just reminding you of that fact. Do your own homework before you put your money in something and [talk to an actual financial adviser](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-to-find-a-financial-adviser-who-doesnt-suck/) if you need to. Kthnxbai. ## Looking for a global index ETF for your freedom fund? *Top pick: the *10X Total World Stock Feeder ETF* bought through *EasyEquities*.* If I had to recommend only one type of investment to the majority of people, it would be a vanilla global ETF. It's the best way to get the *widest-possible diversification* with the *lowest-possible fees*. Seriously, fees matter A LOT. Investment product fees might range from **1% to as high as 4% or even more**, and that might sound small, but it can cost you millions over a lifetime. Say you're expecting a long-term return of 7% a year. If 3% of that is getting siphoned off in fees, that's nearly **half your growth**, gone. You do not know deep finance secrets no one else does (and you have no way of identifying which flashy finance bros do, either), so do not try to beat the market by trying to be fancy. When you are choosing a fund, the most important number to look at on the "Fund Fact Sheet" is the Total Expense Ratio (TER – i.e. the fees). Here are three popular broad global index ETFs with low fees: | Fund | Ticker | What it holds | TER | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ------ | ----------------------------------------------- | --------- | | **[10X Total World Stock Feeder](https://resources.easyequities.co.za/ETFs/ETF%20Factsheets/10X/GLOBAL.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** | GLOBAL | 8,000ish companies, developed + emerging | **0.26%** | | **[Satrix MSCI World](https://satrix.co.za/fund/mdd/STXWDM?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** | STXWDM | 1,500ish companies, 23 developed countries only | **0.34%** | | **[Satrix MSCI ACWI](https://satrix.co.za/fund/mdd/STXACW?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** | STXACW | 2,500ish companies, developed + emerging | **0.35%** | Any of these works as a "one starter fund to rule them all", but the 10X Total World is the cheapest AND the broadest, which is why it's my pick. **Got the ick about investing in the companies trashing the planet?** A good alternative is an "ESG" fund weighted towards or only including companies with good environmental, social and governance traits. | Fund | Ticker | What it holds | TER | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ------ | -------------------------------------------------------------------------- | --------- | | **[Satrix MSCI World ESG Enhanced](https://satrix.co.za/fund/mdd/STXESG?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** | STXESG | Developed-market companies, ESG-weighted + screened (e.g. no fossil fuels) | **0.34%** | | **[Sygnia Itrix S&P Global 1200 ESG](https://www.sygnia.co.za/sygnia-itrix-sp-global-1200-esg-etf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** | SYGESG | 1,200ish large global companies, ESG-screened | **0.37%** | There are a few different platforms you can buy these funds on. If ETFs were denim jeans, imagine that "10X" = Levis, "10X Total World Stock Feeder" = Levis 501, and the **platform**, like "EasyEquities" = Superbalist, i.e. an online shop where you can buy lots of different investment products from different "brands". The platform will have its own layer of costs which you need to balance with how easy it is to use. The best options in SA are: | Platform | What it costs | Annual fees on R100k (ish) | Annual fees on R1m (ish) | Best for | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | -------------------------- | ------------------------ | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | **[EasyEquities](https://www.easyequities.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** | 0.25% each time you buy. **No yearly fee on ETFs**. Less active investors pay Thrive fees of R25/month. | R0 | R0 | **Most people.** Cheap and simple. | | **[Fynbos Money](https://fynbos.money/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** | Flat R100/month no matter how much you hold (R50 under 30). | R1,200 | R1,200 | People who need a simpler interface than EasyEquities, and have big balances. | | **[Allan Gray](https://www.allangray.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** | 0.575%/yr, but 1.15%/yr if you have under R50k. | R575 | R5,750 | People who want strong service and a big brand. | | **[Interactive Brokers](https://www.interactivebrokers.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** | Tiny commissions, no yearly fee (but a complex, pro-level interface). | R0 | R0 | Going fully offshore in US dollars, or investing pros. | Basically, [EasyEquities](https://www.easyequities.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is best place to buy ETFs for most beginner investors. If you're willing to pay more for reputedly better service, try [Allan Gray](https://online.allangray.co.za/CreateInvestment/Introduction.aspx?SubMenuItem=&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). If you find EasyEquities too complicated, try [Fynbos](https://fynbos.money/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (but be aware that it's the newest player on this list). Weirdly, although you *can* buy Satrix and Sygnia funds directly through their platforms SatrixNow and Sygnia Alchemy, it's cheaper to buy them through EasyEquities. You can, and should, use your TFSA allowance for your freedom fund. These ETFs are all global funds, so you're essentially investing your money "overseas", but you are doing so through a South African company. This makes it much simpler and cheaper. If you are worried about a full "shit-hits-the-fan" situation in our country and you will [sleep safer at night knowing a portion of your money is properly offshore](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/managing-your-country-risk/), a very popular global passive fund is the US-listed **Vanguard Total World Stock** (VT) (TER 0.06%) which you can buy through [Interactive Brokers](https://www.interactivebrokers.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) – but I don't recommend this approach for most people. It ends up way more expensive when you include currency conversion fees and the tax/estate-planning stuff gets mad complicated. **Looking for a South Africa-only fund?** The problem is that the main South African index fund, the JSE Top 40, is notoriously top-heavy. One company (Naspers) makes up around 20% (and *that's* mostly an indirect investment in a Chinese company called Tencent). That's not real diversification. If you *do* want a South Africa-only ETF for some reason, a better bet is the **Satrix Capped All Share** (STXCAP, 0.15%) which spreads your money across far more SA companies. Remember though: South Africa's economy is only a tiny portion of the world's economy, and your income and wealth are probably already linked to it in a lot of ways, so I believe most regular investors are better off starting with a global fund. Money invested in this kind of thing is only for money **you don't need to touch for at least 5 years**. The historical long-term average growth of this kind of global fund (in ZAR, *above* inflation) is 8%, which means your **money could double in value every 9 years or so**, but no investment returns can ever be guaranteed, and the value of your investment could absolutely go down instead of up. ## Looking for a retirement annuity so that you’re not going to be old and poor? *Top pick: the *Sygnia Skeleton Balanced 70* bought directly from Sygnia.* If you're saving money for retirement, you need a fund that's "Regulation 28 compliant", which means that you get the sweet, sweet tax breaks. Just like for other investments, look for something low-fee, while also getting you the highest global equities exposure you're allowed (unless you're in your last decade before retirement, in which case, [talk to a professional advisor](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-to-find-a-financial-adviser-who-doesnt-suck/)). Unlike with ETFs, it's best to consider the **costs** of the RA and the platform *together* (the number the industry calls EAC/effective annual cost). You also want to check the **composition**: Regulation 28 caps you at **45% offshore and 75% equities**, and you generally want to be near both, because that's where the growth is. Here are five good choices that all meet both these criteria: | Option | Cost/yr on R100k | Cost/yr on R1m | Equity / offshore | Best if… | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ----------------- | ------------------- | ----------------- | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | **Sygnia Skeleton Balanced 70** in a **[Sygnia RA](https://www.sygnia.co.za/save-for-retirement?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** | R800ish (0.8%) | R8,000ish (0.8%) | 71% / 41% | **You want the cheapest sensible default.** My pick for most beginners. | | **Sygnia Skeleton Balanced 70** in a **[Fynbos RA](https://fynbos.money/products/retirement-annuity?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** | R1,700ish (1.7%) | R6,200ish (0.62%) | 71% / 41% | Same fund, but you can hold other investments in the same simple app too. Beats Sygnia's own platform once you're past about R350k. | | **CoreSolutions Moderate**, via the **[Alexforbes Invest](https://invest.alexforbes.com/za/en/invest/funds/investment-funds?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ONEfee** | R1,500ish (1.5%) | R4,725 flat (0.47%) | 66% / 42% | Your balance is over R700k: the flat fee makes it the cheapest for big amounts. Fees pretty kak below R300k. | | **10X Your Future**, in a **[10X RA](https://www.10x.co.za/product/retirement-annuity?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** | R1,000ish (1.0%) | R10,000ish (1.0%) | 61% / 35% | You don't mind paying a bit more for a guided setup. Note: the least offshore of all the options. | | **Coronation Balanced Plus**, in a **[Coronation RA](https://www.coronation.com/en-za/personal/accounts/retirement-annuity/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** (or **[Allan Gray Balanced](https://www.allangray.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)**) | R1,770ish (1.77%) | R17,700ish (1.77%) | 74% / 41% | You want a big, old, trusted brand and active management, and you're fine to pay double for the comfort. | Most people will pay the least if they start out with **Sygnia** and then move to **Alexforbes** once their balance hits around R700k. By the way, although you *can* buy that Sygnia fund through the EasyEquities RA, don't (it's one of the most expensive ways to do so). **BUT! Ask for an EAC quote from your 2-3 best options before you commit.** Every provider will give you one for free, and it's the only number that includes fund, platform and advice for YOUR situation, so it's the only accurate comparison. Give them your age, balance and monthly contribution. But don't stress too much trying find the All-time Perfect Unicorn Fund™️: **you can transfer an RA between providers** (it's called a "Section 14" transfer, and it's tax-free), so you're not locked in for life. Just start, baby! On the [**calculators**](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/money-calculators-2/)page, there's a calculator allowing you to compare investing in your TFSA or RA (and a bunch of other investing calculators that might be handy). I also go into a lot more detail about this [in my book](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/manage-your-money-like-a-f-cking-grownup/). [Money calculatorsSimple calculators to help you work through hard money choices![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/icon/social-icon-af9b7705-4479-4732-b8c8-3ad3e70f173d.png)Sam BeckbessingerSam Beckbessinger![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/thumbnail/photo-1574607383077-47ddc2dc51c4-e17ab776-bfa4-4d94-8c96-fbaab64e91ff)](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/money-calculators-2/) ## Looking for a savings account (for emergency savings and short-term goals)? *Top pick: your regular bank savings account up to R150k, then look into a Money Market fund.* Don’t waste too much time trying to get the best possible interest rate for your savings accounts. This isn’t your "get rich" money. It’s your "sleep at night after your car window gets smashed for the third blimming time this year" money. The faster you need to be able to access your savings, the lower your interest will be. Easier-to-access accounts also require more discipline from you not to pull that money out unless you really, really need it. - **Oh Shit Fund** (one month’s expenses): Put this in a plain old savings account at your bank. If you know you’re the type who raids savings for sales, consider a seven-day notice account for a built-in cooling-off period. - **Table-Flip Fund** (three to six months’ expenses): A 32-day notice account at your current bank works well for amounts up to about R150k. Beyond that, it *does* become worth [shopping round for better rates](https://ratecompare.co.za/best-notice-deposit-rates/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (check the latest rates with **Investec**, **AfricanBank** and **Absa** especially) and compare with a **money market fund** (see below). - With **special savings goals**, match your wobbliness level to your timeline as the table below says.[**GoTyme Bank's GoalSave**](https://gotyme.co.za/personal/save-and-invest/goalsave?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) accounts get you up to 10% interest and let you split your money into up to 10 distinct pots. There are limits on them, but they're great if you like saving up for distinct goals within the next 1-2 years. If you’re sitting on a **big hoard of cash** (over R150k), perhaps because you are a literal dragon, or you’re someone who needs to save six months’ expenses, or you’re trying to buy a house, consider a **money market fund**. These are baskets of very short-term loans/bonds that give you slightly better returns (often 1–3% higher than a savings account) while keeping your money accessible. You might be able to get one from your current bank (like [**FNB's Money Maximiser**](https://www.fnb.co.za/invest/money-maximiser.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)) or the investment platform you're already using for your other investments (e.g. you can buy the Satrix Money Market Fund with 0.3% fees through EasyEquities); if you can't, get the [**Allan Gray Money Market**](https://www.allangray.co.za/fund-pages/money-market-fund/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (0.29%) direct from them. Do not use your TFSA allowance for short-term savings. ***A warning about access bonds.*** On paper, an access bond’s a powerful savings vehicle because you’re essentially earning interest at your home loan interest rate, which is almost certainly going to be higher than any regular bank savings account (plus you’re not being taxed on the interest). If you have one, it’s a great place to stash money for special savings goals you want to use within the next one to five years. But I would think VERY CAREFULLY about keeping an Oh Shit or Table Flip Fund in an access bond. If you read the fine print in your access bond, you’ll discover the bank has the right to close it at any time, and if it's shared with someone else, like your spouse, and they die, you can lose all access to that money until the estate is fully wrapped up, which can take years. Keep some savings separate, just in case. ## Looking for a cheap bank account? Here's a nifty tool for [finding the cheapest bank account](https://southafricafacts.co.za/compare-bank-fees/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) based on your own usage. For most people, the answer is going to be Tymebank, Bank Zero or Capitec. If you're with one of the big banks, just remember that you are allowed to DOWNGRADE to one of their cheaper accounts! You don't have to accept the shmancier gold/platinum/diamond-encrusted card just because they offer it to you. If you can save a few % interest on your home loan by switching bank accounts to your home loan provider (e.g. Investec offers this), DEFINITELY do this! 1% on your home loan is almost always going to be worth more than whatever your banking fees are. ## Saving for a specific goal in the next few years? *Top pick: *Franc's* pretty good at figuring out a mix for you if you're lazy.* This is the awkward middle: saving for a house deposit, lobola, a wedding, school fees etc. You don't want to just use a savings account for this (inflation will nibble away the value of the money) but you also don't want to go all-in on equities, which might be down 30% exactly when you need it. So, find an investment or savings account with a wobbliness (risk) that **matches when you’ll need the money**. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/07/image-14.png) Decent options, from least to most effort: 1. Let an app called [**Franc**](https://www.franc.app/products/investment-goals?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)do it for you. You set a goal and a date; it builds the mix for you and shifts it toward safety as the date nears. TBH I don't *love* the underlying funds they've chosen, but it's super-easy to use, and optimising returns on a 2-5 year investment isn't going to be worth spending a *lot* of time on for most people. My pick for most beginners. 2. [**RSA Retail Savings Bonds**](https://secure.rsaretailbonds.gov.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Lend money to the government for a fixed 2/3/5 year term. No fees, R1,000 minimum, strong returns, and you can choose between an inflation-linked or fixed interest rate. The downside is that your money's locked for the whole term, so make sure you are *very very certain* about your timeline. 3. **Invest in a multi-asset fund** like the **Sygnia Skeleton Balanced 40** (0.42%ish) or **Satrix Multi Asset Protect** (0.42%ish) through any of the investment platforms in the Freedom Fund section above. Watch the fee: many "conservative" funds charge 1.5%+, which eats a big chunk of a tiny return. 4. **DIY the mix in your existing investment account**. If you're already comfortable with an investment platform like EasyEquities or Allan Gray, open both a Money Market fund and a global equities ETF and rebalance the money gradually into the Money Market fund as you get closer to needing it (start by changing which fund you're *contributing to* before you move money that's already been invested). This is the way I save for medium-term goals and it gets me the best returns, but it's definitely more work and I do sometimes have to wait a bit if the market's wobbling. There are a lot of financial products sold to parents especially for **funding private schooling** ("education policies" or "education endowments"). They can be more tax-efficient if you’re a high earner (over 30% marginal tax rate), but I'm personally not a fan. Fees can be high and sometimes come bundled with life insurance you don't need, and they're very inflexible if your needs change. Myself, I'd rather just follow one of the strategies above. That said, if you're saving for like Bishops or something, the tax benefits might make it worthwhile for you. [Talk to a pro](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-to-find-a-financial-adviser-who-doesnt-suck/). ## But Sam, I want to invest in something weird because I think I'm clever! I'll make a deal with you. Only once you have set up your life so that the vast majority of your money is doing sensible shit like I've suggested, if you *still* have a little bit of extra cash burning a hole in your pocket, then honey, *sure*, go nuts with a little play-play money. But make a rule with yourself about **what the maximum limit is that you can afford to lose**, say 5%, and rebalance down to that limit every couple of months if your play-play investments have grown more than that. This pot is where you can take the big bets and do whatever makes you feel like an investing astronaut, so have fun, but don't put it into something *stupid*. Everything below is a legitimate, FSCA-regulated-or-close-enough, reasonably easy-to-access option for South Africans. I don't recommend you do any of this, but if you really *wanna*, here are some speculative assets you might want to dabble with. ### Buying crypto (SIGH if you MUST) I have [written](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/where-do-i-invest-my-own-money/) [extensively](https://www.reddit.com/r/PersonalFinanceZA/comments/m17srn/comment/gqc0sxm/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) about my feelings about crypto elsewhere but basically, please understand that this is not the "get-rich-quick" route people think it is. I've said this before but it's even more relevant here: *do not invest more into crypto than you could afford to lose*. The crypto space is *slowwwly* becoming more regulated in SA, which is a great thing, because I cannot tell you how many people have told me about ways they've been scammed over the years. I also do not believe that normal people should try to own their own keys or store their own wallets (put a beer in me and I will tell you STORIES). Here are some of the safer (SAFER! Not safe!) routes to invest in crypto in SA. | Route | What it is | Who it's best for | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | **A licensed exchange** like [VALR](https://www.valr.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or [Luno](https://www.luno.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | Buy, sell and store a bunch of different cryptocurrencies on one platform. Both hold FSCA licences. | **Most people.** On Luno, use the exchange screen, not "Instant Buy" (2%ish vs 0.2%ish fees). VALR is cheaper but more aimed at pros. They're both well-established players. | | The **[Sygnia Life Bitcoin Plus](https://www.sygnia.co.za/blog/fund/sygnia-life-bitcoin-plus-fund/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** fund | You buy and sell it like any other ETF, and it tracks the price of Bitcoin. | More risk-averse crypto investors. | | **[EasyCrypto](https://crypto.easyequities.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** (EasyEquities) | A platform that lets you buy both crypto index funds and individual cryptocurrencies, inside the platform you might already use. **1.5%ish a year** admin fee on holdings, plus 0.33%ish/trade means it's quite expensive though. | People already using EasyEquities who just want to dabble. | By the way, yes, SARS can see any money you invest through these platforms. And yes, you do have to pay tax on it. ### Other random assets | Idea | What it is | Where | | ------------------------------ | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | **SA listed property (REITs)** | Own a slice of SA shopping centres and office parks via an ETF. | [Satrix Property](https://satrix.co.za/fund/mdd/STXPRO?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (0.34%ish). [1nvest SA Property](https://1nvest.co.za/products/index-tracking-unit-trusts/1nvest-sa-property-stanlib-etf/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (0.31%ish). Buy either on [EasyEquities](https://www.easyequities.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Or try [EasyProperties](https://www.easyproperties.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (fractional shares in individual buildings). | | **Global property (REITs)** | Same idea except you own bits of property all around the world. | [Sygnia Itrix Global Property](https://www.sygnia.co.za/sygnia-itrix-global-property-etf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (0.27%ish). [1nvest Global REIT](https://1nvest.co.za/wp-content/uploads/fund-factsheets/1nvest%5FGlobal%5FREIT%5FIndex%5FFeeder%5FETF%5FComprehensive.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (0.34%ish). Buy either on [EasyEquities](https://www.easyequities.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). | | **Fedgroup Impact Farming** | Buy an actual blueberry bush, beehive or solar panel and earn the yield it produces. From R300-ish. | [fedgroup.co.za](https://www.fedgroup.co.za/investments/impact-farming?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | | **Livestock Wealth** | "Crowd-farming". Buy a cow or macadamia tree, earn 8–10%ish. NB: they got an FSCA warning in 2024\. They were ultimately cleared to keep operating, but they've been a little lax with compliance in the past, so invest with extra caution. | [livestockwealth.com](https://livestockwealth.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | | **Gold** | The classic "everything's on fire" hedge, in ETF form so you're not hiding krugerrands inside your couch. | 1nvest Gold ETF (0.25%ish) or NewGold (0.3%ish) through [EasyEquities](https://www.easyequities.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). | | **Individual shares** | Make a bet buying shares in a single company that you believe in. | [EasyEquities](https://www.easyequities.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) or [Allan Gray](https://www.allangray.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) | | **Thematic ETFs** | AI, robotics, clean energy, Japan, healthcare innovation ... these are funds that let you make a bet on a particular sector, industry or place. | [EasyEquities](https://www.easyequities.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) has loads | You could also explore the "lunatic fringe" of investing, which includes shit like art, rare My Little Ponys, wine and vintage cars. As long as you stick to your play-play limit, shine on you crazy diamond! ## Final thoughts: keep your eye on the big picture Your timeline for a specific goal matters, but so does the overall mix of your investments. This is called your **asset allocation**, and it’s worth checking that it’s right for your age. If you’re under 35, most of your portfolio should be in equities. Stocks are high-risk, high-reward in the short term, but over decades nothing has beaten them for growth. If you're young, time is your greatest asset, so make sure you’re letting as much of your money compound as possible. As you get older, you’ll want to start adding lower-risk investments into your portfolio as well (like bonds). There are a few rules of thumb for this. I like the 120 rule: **subtract your current age from 120**. That’s the percentage of your portfolio that should be in equities. So, at age 30, you should have 90% of your assets in stocks. At age 60, you should have 60%. Some people work on 100 as the starting number, but those people are not accounting for the fact that we’re all likely to live a kak-long time now. Most investors check their allocation once a year and rebalance, buying or selling to get back to their target percentages (ESPECIALLY making sure that if you've got any play-play money, it hasn't crept above your limit). But, generally, if you’re young and just starting out, and investing for your long-term freedom, focus on equities and don’t worry too much about anything else. I hope that was helpful! Go forth and SAVE FOR YOUR BIGGEST DREAMS, you beautiful creature! xx ## A new edition of **Manage Your Money Like a F-cking Grownup's* coming in September Join the newsletter to hear when it lands (and get useful money tools dropped straight in your inbox). Notify me Email sent! Check your inbox to complete your signup. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime. *None of these are affiliate links or anything like that, just my own honest opinions. Over the TWO DAYS I spent chasing down links and reading fund fact sheets (YOU ARE WELCOME) it's entirely possible that I made a mistake somewhere. If I did, please* [*let me know*](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/contact/) *so I can fix it.* ### The cheapest place to buy everything URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-cheapest-place-to-buy-everything/ Last updated: 2020-04-30T09:43:11.000Z Here are the cheapest places I’ve found to buy the things you really do need to buy. Tell me about your own ideas in the comments, and I’ll go investigate! ## Glasses Blind as a bat, like me? Glasses are ridiculously expensive, and for no good reason. I mean really, it’s two pieces of glass held together by a bit of metal or plastic, why should it cost thousands of rands? The truth is that most of what you’re paying for is brand, and the fact that the glasses industry, internationally, is a crazy monopoly and a crock of shit. Local online store, [Eye Cafe](http://eyecafe.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), lets you email them your prescription (which you can get very cheaply at any optometrist or physical glasses store) and then they will ship glasses or prescription sunglasses to you in a couple of weeks. They’re cheap, and pretty good quality. Prices start at R490, including the lenses, frames, the whole shebang. I’ve been rocking glasses from them for years now. If you can’t find a frame you like at Eye Cafe, [Ocean Eye Wear](https://oceaneyewear.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) has an extremely wide variety of frames available for as little as R100 a pair, which you can take to your local optometrist to have lenses fitted into. They also sell ready-made reading glasses for the standard prescriptions, also R100 each. ## Tech Tech is always chasing a hype cycle, which means that buying a good quality device that’s a year or two old can snag you pretty good savings (because most people want the NEW SHINY ONE, because NEW AND SHINY). But actually, most consumer tech doesn’t get THAT much better in a year or two. If you need a new laptop, it can be smart to buy a better brand, but second-hand. [Second Bite](http://secondbite.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) sells good-quality refurbished Macs at a decent price (as far as Macs go). Try [PC Laptops](https://www.pclaptops.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for high-quality PCs. [The Cell Store](https://www.thecellstore.co.za/product-category/certified-pre-owned/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) sells second-hand phones, and they’ve been tested to make sure that they’re in perfect working order. [Phonetradr](https://www.phonetradr.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) has also been recommended by our excellent community (thanks guys!). You can buy even cheaper tech on [Gumtree](http://gumtree.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), but with no guarantee that stuff will work. If you do decide to risk Gumtree, use the escrow service [Shepherd](https://www.paywithshepherd.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to protect yourself from scams. If you need a second-hand camera for that side-hustle of yours, try [Orms](http://orms.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ## Random shopping If you can plan ahead, [AliExpress](https://www.aliexpress.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is a great way to order cheap things from China. Shipping is usually free to South Africa, but your stuff can take as long as 3 months to get here. You can find all sorts of weird and wonderful gizmos, tools, t-shirts, toys and more, so it’s a great place to hunt for presents. I have it on good authority that their kids’ clothes are pretty good, too. The quality (and sizing) of the clothing can vary quite a lot, so read the reviews before you order. There are some great curation sites, like [Thieve](https://thieve.co/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Aliholic](https://aliholic.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), to help you find the best deals on the site. Remember, just because it’s cheap, don’t buy crap you don’t need. ### What to study, and how to pay for it URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-new-school/ Last updated: 2026-09-04T07:37:39.000Z Hello my beloved youngn'ses! I know you already know this, but the South African job market is heavily stacked against young people, and it's fucking unfair, and I'm so angry for you. This is a guide to **part of the solution**: stacking your education. There's a broader guide here to finding your first job, which also covers alternative routes like learnerships and getting straight into work. The unemployment rate for graduates is 12%; [the unemployment rate for people with only a matric is 39%](https://www.statssa.gov.za/publications/P0211/P02113rdQuarter2025.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). In other words, young South Africans, do whatever you need to do to get a tertiary degree or diploma. If your matric marks aren't where you need them to be, retake matric. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2026/09/image-1.png) In rich countries, a lot more young people have degrees, and there's a totally legitimate debate about whether it's still worth the cost of doing a tertiary programme. In South Africa, the dynamics are entirely different. [Source](https://lmi-research.org.za/publication/post-school-education-and-training-monitor-2024/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for this graph. This is another situation where **you’ve got to stick your fingers in your ears and tune out advice from other countries**. In the US, college degrees have become wildly expensive and everyone and their chihuahua has one, so people who study often end up saddled with a lifetime of debt, and there’s a valid debate about whether it’s still worth it to go to college. Right now, those dynamics are not remotely true in South Africa. Here, with our low-skilled labour force and devastating youth unemployment rate, **it’s almost always worth the cost of getting a degree or diploma if you can.** But be smart about it. There's no use saddling yourself with debt for a programme you can't finish, or one that doesn't ultimately lead to the kind of life you want. ## What to study When I was a humanities undergrad, the people studying more sensible subjects loved to joke, "what's the difference between a B.A. and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four." Har har har. I'm sad to report that the Humanities remains the most popular subject in South Africa and the one with the lowest employment rates, and one of the [lowest rates of average income](https://businesstech.co.za/news/finance/376393/the-degrees-that-pay-the-best-average-salaries-in-south-africa/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) after you graduate. I don't regret my B.A. for a second, but I *am* forever grateful to my past self that I sprinkled in some higher-paid skills in there too (like maths and coding). It is not impossible to build a beautiful life and a great career with a humanities degree, but it is much, much harder. **Unemployment rates in** [**a 2015 survey of young South African graduates**](https://repository.nwu.ac.za/server/api/core/bitstreams/d8adea74-1306-42d8-b23e-7b5fc648d2d4/content?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)**:** | University major | Unemployment rate | | Government/Political Studies | 40% | | ----------------------------- | ----------------- | ------------------------------- | --- | | Psychology/Sociology | 23% | | | | HR/Industrial Psychology | 13% | | | | Marketing/Business Management | 8% | | | | Economics/Risk Management | 7% | | | | Computer Sciences/IT | 0% | | | For a more up-to-date take on which degrees have the highest chance of turning into a good job afterwards, [this 2026 summary](https://www.linkedin.com/posts/garysilbermann%5Fif-universities-were-to-publish-real-employment-activity-7431985201683206144-UcJy/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) by a South African recruitment specialist aligns well with what I'm hearing from friends and friends' kids. I'd just be a bit cautious about computer sciences right now, since it's ironically likely to be badly disrupted by AI. **Useful tools for figuring out what to study:** - [NavyBlue](https://www.navyblue.co.za/careers?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is a database of careers with information about what skills they need, their average pay and what qualifications you'll need in SA. - The Department of Higher Education and Training produces [a report of scarce skills every few years](https://www.dhet.gov.za/Planning%20Monitoring%20and%20Evaluation%20Coordination/The%202024%20National%20List%20of%20Occupations%20in%20High%20Demand%5FA%20Technical%20Report.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), and it's a great resource to understand what qualifications are most likely to ultimately result in a job (including possibly-fascinating fields like "Heritage Consultant", "Jockey", and "Confectionary Baker". As expected, though, the list is dominated by engineering, ICT and skilled artisan trades. - The [**Khetha CareerHelp service**](https://www.careerhelp.org.za/main/career-options?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)is another great resource to understand what qualifications you need for various careers, and what careers you could train for based on your matric subjects. It's a brilliant starting point to explore your options, but double-check everything it tells you (a lot of it hasn't been updated for 6+ years). - [IkamvaYouth Pathways](https://ikamvayouth.org/resources/pathways/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) helps you create a career plan and explains the difference between all your post-school options, like learnerships and degrees. - [**This is really great guide**](https://www.hwseta.org.za/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/A-Practical-Approach-to-Choosing-Your-Career.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to studying and training options in SA, specifically focussing on health and welfare jobs (but not limited to them) - [The National Career Advice Service](https://ncap.careerhelp.org.za/DecisionQuestionnaires/CareerIndex?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) offers some questionnaires to help you think through which careers match your skills - If all else fails, call the [Career Advice Helpline,](https://www.careerhelp.org.za/content/career-development-services/career-advice-helpline?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) who can talk you through your studying options: 086 999 0123 If you have no clue, honestly, just **study the hardest degree or diploma you believe you can pass**. Most people don’t end up using the stuff they studied in their job anyway; your degree just proves to potential employers you can learn, cope with a big workload and complete tasks. It’s easier for people with engineering degrees to get a job in finance than people with BCom degrees; even though the BCom’s more relevant, employers prefer the engineering degree because it’s seen as more difficult. ## Where to study The dropout rate in South Africa is really high: 30–40% for university undergraduates. It shoots up even higher for students who attempt distance-learning degrees at institutions like UNISA. So, a lot of people are taking out student loans for nothing. The [Post-education School and Training Monitor](https://lmi-research.org.za/publication/post-school-education-and-training-monitor-2024/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to understand throughput rates between different types of education option. Before you sign up for a tertiary qualification, ask what percentage of people graduate, and what portion are employed a year later. And choose in-person classes if possible. ### TVET/FET colleges The number of people enrolling at FET colleges is still tiny compared to university applicants throughout the country. That’s a pity, because this country needs a lot more hands-on practical skills! [Here’s a full list of all the TVET colleges in South Africa](http://www.tvetcolleges.co.za/default.aspx?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) organised by province. the 2022 DPRU/LMI Skills Supply & Demand update found graduate unemployment at **28.4% for diploma/certificate holders vs 12.7% for degree holders** (Q2 2021). Some particular TVET colleges that have been recommended by people we know include: - [Sparrow FET College](http://www.sparrowschools.co.za/fet%5Fcollege.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - Artisan Training Institute [https://artisantraining.co.za](https://artisantraining.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ### Technical and vocational skills programmes [Learn to Earn](https://www.learntoearn.org.za/index.php/training/our-courses/course-overview-fees?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is a non-profit organisation that runs very affordable short courses in Khayelitsha and Hermanus for unemployed people, covering skills ranging from sewing to graphic design to woodwork. 83% of their graduates become economically active after completing the courses. [JumpStart](http://www.mrpfoundation.org/Our-Focus-Skills.aspx?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is run by the Mr Price foundation and runs skills development programmes in KZN. [Harambee](http://harambee.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is an excellent resource that helps young, unemployed people find entry-level jobs, many of which offer on-the-job training. [The Knowledge Trust](https://knowledgetrust.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is an online database featuring thousands of learnerships and intern jobs, as well as academic bursaries for tertiary programmes. ### Private Options **Software schools** Africa’s going to need a lot more people who know how to code to save us once the robot uprising happens. There are some really great, new-style practical coding schools popping up around the country who want to teach young people these skills, and some of them are even free. - [We Think Code](https://www.wethinkcode.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Explore Data Science Academy](https://www.explore-datascience.net/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [CodeX](http://www.projectcodex.co/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) **Creative schools** There are some great school alternatives that focus on developing creative skills. Unfortunately, most of these courses are hella expensive (like, more than traditional varsity). One exception is [Umuzi](http://umuzi.org/learnership/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which is a 12 month paid learnership. Other (expensive) options include: - [AFDA](https://www.afda.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Friends of Design](http://friendsofdesign.net/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Red&Yellow](https://www.redandyellow.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Vega](https://www.vegaschool.com/Pages/default.aspx?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Cape Town Creative Academy](http://ctca.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [CityVarsity](https://www.cityvarsity.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [BHC School of Design](http://www.designschool.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Hit me up in the comments if you’ve got any tips for more cost-effective alternatives. ## How to pay for it There are a few options for funding tertiary study: - National Student Financial Aid Scheme (NSFAS) – if your family income is below a threshold and you’re a South African citizen, the government might fully fund your studies at a public university or TVET college, including accommodation. If your family income is a little higher, you might be able to apply for a (generous) loan instead. - The National Research Foundation (NRF) – this is the starting point if you’re doing a postgraduate degree. - Bursaries and special loans – most tertiary institutions publish a list of specific bursaries and special loans that are available for their institution, often focusing on specific religious or identity groups, or degrees. Talk to the financial aid office at the insti­tution to which you’re applying. - If you’re studying an in-demand skill, approach the big companies who hire people with that qualification. They often have special bursary and loan funds and may also employ you after you graduate. - If none of those options are available, consider a student loan, offered by most of the banks and a specialist company called Fundi. Get quotes or use an aggregation service like Student Hero. Student loans usually require someone else to stand surety for you (promise to pay the loan back if you vanish to Potchefstroom to join a cult) and they might have to repay small amounts while you’re studying, but you normally only start paying them back properly once you’re employed. If you don’t qualify for a student loan, try a regular private loan. Debt that you use to improve your earning potential is good debt. As long as you’re being realistic about your chances of completing the course, and its likelihood of it turning into a job at some point, it’s worth it. If you're not sure what TYPE of place to study at, it's worth taking a look at the [Post-education School and Training Monitor](https://lmi-research.org.za/publication/post-school-education-and-training-monitor-2024/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to understand throughput rates between different types of education option (e.g. TVET versus public university; distance-learning versus in-person). Basically, if you can manage to do your diploma/degree *in-person*, do so. Bursaries to become a teacher [https://www.funzalushaka.doe.gov.za](https://www.funzalushaka.doe.gov.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) South African bursaries directory [https://allbursaries.co.za](https://allbursaries.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Learnerships, bursaries and internships directory [https://gocareers.co.za/learnerships](https://gocareers.co.za/learnerships?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Fundi study loans [https://fundi.co.za](https://fundi.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Interested in investigating some innovative ways to get an education? Not sure the traditional (and expensive) university track is for you? Here are some alternatives you could consider. ### ### Online courses With just a laptop and an internet connection, you can access some of the world’s most high-quality lectures, in any subject. WE LIVE IN THE FUTURE, AND IT’S GREAT. - [Get Smarter](https://www.getsmarter.com/courses?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Udemy](https://www.udemy.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [edX](https://www.edx.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Coursera](https://www.coursera.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Lynda](https://www.lynda.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Udacity](https://www.udacity.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Khan Academy](https://www.khanacademy.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Code Academy](https://www.codecademy.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Skillshare](https://www.skillshare.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Open Culture](http://www.openculture.com/freeonlinecourses?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Academic Earth](http://academicearth.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Open Yale Courses](https://oyc.yale.edu/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ### Critical Skills URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/critical-skills/ Last updated: 2020-05-02T15:06:10.000Z Before you think about financing a university education, do your homework. Have a clear idea of how your degree will improve your life – and be smart about what you choose to study. There are thousands of unemployed BCom graduates in South Africa, but the government is literally handing out visas to people from other countries because certain critical skills are impossible to find locally. Want some ideas for what skills are desperately needed in our country, to guide your career choices? Take a look at the full [immigration critical skills list.](http://www.dha.gov.za/images/immigration%5Fcritical%5Fskills.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) It includes unglamorous but fascinating professions like forestry technicians, geologists and protein scientists. There’s an [alternative list here](http://7sundays.co.za/KeepClimbing/2018/01/07/fantastic-list-of-370-south-african-jobs-in-high-demand/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), suggested by the Department of Higher Education and Training. ## Job categories There are 12 categories of jobs: - Agriculture, Agricultural Operations and Related Sciences - Architecture and the Built Environment - Business, Economics and Management Studies - Information Communication & Technology - Engineering - Health Professions and Related Clinical Sciences - Life and Earth Sciences - Professionals and Associate Professionals - Trades - Business Process Outsourcing (BPO) - Academics and Researchers - Post-Graduates ## Full jobs list Too lazy to go through the PDF? Here’s the full list. - Agriculture, Agricultural Operations and Related Sciences - Agricultural Engineer - Agricultural Scientist - Forestry Technician - Sheep Shearer - Architecture and the Built Environment - Architect - Construction Project Manager - Land Surveyor - Quantity Surveyor - Urban and Regional Planner - Business, Economics and Management Studies - Actuaries and Risk Assessors - Corporate General Manager - External Auditor - Financial Investment Advisor - Information Communication & Technology - CISCO Solution Specialist - CISCO Engineers - Solutions Architects in Telecommunications and ICT - Integrated Developers (PHP, PERL, JAVA) - Network Analyst - IT Security Specialist - System Integration Specialist - Enterprise Architects - Data Centre Operations - Network Specialist (Security) - Database Specialist - Microsoft System Engineers - Network Controllers - AV Specialist (Anti-virus) - Desktop Support Engineer - Engineering - Energy Engineer - Metallurgical Engineer - Chemical Engineer - Civil Engineer - Electrical Engineer - Electrical Installation Inspector - Electronics Engineer - Geologist - Industrial and Production Engineers - Industrial Designer - Manufacturing Managers - Materials Engineer - Mechanical Engineer - Mining Engineer - Production/Operations Manager - Quality System Manager - Research and Development Manager - Ship’s Engineer - Telecommunications Engineers - Electrical Engineering Technologist - Energy Engineering Technologist - Mechanical Engineering Technologist - Metallurgical Engineering Technologist - Mining Engineering Technologist - Air Conditioning and Mechanical Services Plumber - Automotive Electrician - Automotive Motor Mechanic - Boiler Maker - Chemical Engineering Technologist - Civil Engineering Technologist - Diesel Mechanic - Electronics Engineering Technologist - Fitter and Turner - Materials Engineering Technologist - Mechatronics Technician - Metal Fabricator - Physical and Engineering Science Technicians - Pressure Welder - Structural Plaster - Toolmaker - Health Professions and Related Clinical Sciences - Medical Superintendant/Public Health Manager - Public Health Physician - General and Specialist Medical Practitioner - Hospital Pharmacist - Nursing Professionals - Veterinarian - Registered Nurse (child and family health) - Retail Pharmacist - Life and Earth Sciences - Environmental Engineers - Environmental Manager - Industrial Pharmacist - Aquatic Scientist - Animal Scientist - Advanced Composites Engineering - Archaeological/Paleontological Specialist - Bioeconomist - Biochemists - Bioinformatician - Bioinformaticist - Biological Scientist - Botanical Scientist - Chemical Scientist - Computational Biologist - Environmental Scientist - Ecological Scientist - Food Scientist - Engineering Geologist - Geochemist - Geohazards Specialist - Geologist - Geophycist - Laboratory Technologist and Technician - Marine Bioscientist - Materials Scientist - Metallurgical Scientist - Metrology - Microbiological Scientist - Polymer Scientist - Protein Scientist - Seismologist - Soil Scientist - Toxicology Scientist - Water Resource Scientist - Professionals and Associate Professionals - Land and Engineering Surveyors - Electronic Engineering Technician - Materials Engineering Technologist - Electrical Engineering Technician - Safety, Health, Environment and Quality Practitioner - Draughtsperson - Mechanical Engineering Technician - Chemical Engineering Technician - Organisation and Methods Analyst (Incl. scheduler, estimator) - Surveying Technician - Geomatics Technician - Quantity Surveying Technician - Civil Engineering Technician - Materials Engineer Non-destructive Testing (NDT) - Materials Engineering Technician – Road materials - Materials Tester - Construction Safety, Health, Environment an - Quality (SHEQ) Agent/Manager/Officer - Aeronautical Engineering - Architectural Senior Technologist - Architectural Draughtsperson - Astronomer - Physicist (SKA) - Geomagnetic Physicist - Solar Physicist - Space Physicist - Plasma Physicist - Space Technologist - Space Weather Specialist - Magnetic Technology Specialist - Radar Engineering - Radio Frequency Engineering - Environmental Technologist - Industrial Engineer - Industrial Engineering Technologist - Industrial Engineering Technician - Landscape Architect - Landscape Contract Manager - Landscape Horticulturist - Mining Technician - Trades - Millwright - Boilermaker (For Strategic Infrastructure Projects) - Industrial Machinery Mechanic - Pipe Fitter - Double Coded Welder - Rigger - Moulder - Raise-bore Operators - Raise-bore Foreman - Business Process Outsourcing (BPO) - Software Development Engineers and Managers - Systems Architects, Engineers and Managers - Foreign Language speakers for specialist language support and technical or sales support (German, Swiss German, Flemish, Greek, Swedish, Danish, Italian, Dutch, Spanish, Mandarin and French) - Business Analyst - Quality Analyst - Quality Assurance Specialist/Auditor - Customer Service Manager/Team Lead - Academics and Researchers - Doctoral Graduates (Acquired Abroad) - Research in any of the following areas; - Galaxy Formation and Evolution - Galaxy Structure and Dynamics - Pulsars and Black Holes - Pulsars and Black Holes - Pulsars and Gravitational Waves - Deep Observations of the earliest Radio Galaxies - Dynamic and Transient Burst - VLBI Operations - Search for CO to investigate role of Molecular Hydrogen - Deep Surveyors of Neutral Hydrogen Gas in the Early Universe - Cosmology and Dark Energy - Cosmic Magnetism - Calibration and Imaging of Radio Interferometer data - Pulsar Research - Pulsar and Gravitational Waves - VLBI Operations - Signal Processing - Observational Radio Astronomy in General - Algorithm for Radio Astronomy - Signal Processing for Radio Astronomy - Supercomputing for Radio Astronomy - Software Development for Radio Astronomy - Data and Streaming- Real-Time Processing of Massive Data Amounts - Green Computing- Extreme Performance at Minor Energy Cost - Performance at Minor Energy Costs - EMC and Spectrum Management - Beam Modelling - Antenna Modelling - Feeds for Radio Astronomy Systems - Receivers for Radio Astronomy Systems - Signal Processing for Radio Astronomy - High Speed Data Transport - Nano-photonics-Data Transport Power - Nanotechnology - Palaeosciences - Reduction over Short and Long Distances - Antenna Design - Antenna Foundation Design - RFI Shielded Buildings and Facilities - Advanced Manufacturing - Space Science and Technology - Global Change - Energy Security - Information Communication Technology - Earth Observation - Natural and Applied Sciences - Post-Graduates - Doctoral Graduates (Acquired in RSA) ### Cancel your subscriptions URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/cancel-your-subscriptions/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T10:10:40.000Z I love you and I want you to be happy, so here are a list of subscriptions that are probably wasting your money. Cancel them and rather spend your cash on adventures and donations to charity and other shit that might actually make your life better. | Subscription | Phone | Email | Notes | | -------------- | -------------- | --------------------------------------- | --------------------------------------------------------------- | | DStv | (011) 289 2222 | https://selfservice.dstv.com/contact-us | Think they let you cancel online? Ha! No chance. | | Vodacom | 082 111 | | Follow the prompts for "Contract queries", then "Cancellations" | | MTN | | retentions@MTN.co.za | Email them and ask for a cancellations quote | | Cell C | 084 143 | | Dial "2" for cancellations | | Telkom | 081 180 | | Talk to the operator and ask for a cancellation quote | | Virgin Active | 0860 200 911 | | They also have a temporary contract freeze option if you prefer | | Planet Fitness | 0861 496 463 | | | Got any others to suggest? Let me know so I can keep the table up to date for ya. ### How much is your car worth? URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-much-is-your-car-worth/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T10:10:09.000Z Your car is a money bonfire. Trade that thing in for a bicycle or a cheap-ass rustbucket or a pair of sequined fairy wings and save yourself a goddamned fortune. How much is your car actually worth if you sell it? [Here’s an app](https://www.firstcheck.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) that will tell you. You can also use [Transunion’s online car value report](https://www.transunion.co.za/product/car-value-report?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) tool, which will cost you the GOBSMACKING FEE of R10. Once you know how much you can realistically get for your car, use the calculator on the Money Dashboard to work out how much you could save by selling your car and relying on public transport or Uber. ### How to find a financial adviser who doesn't suck URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-to-find-a-financial-adviser-who-doesnt-suck/ Last updated: 2026-08-25T08:57:18.000Z At some point in your journey into badass grownup moneying, you’ll need to find yourself a financial adviser. In fact, if you’ve been browsing this site long enough to come across this post, then that’s probably a sign that you’re ready to give one a call. **Most people think you need to have a lot of money to see an adviser.** This isn’t true at all. Sure, some dudes only work with wealthy okes who own wine farms, but many are perfectly interested in helping young people who are just starting out (it’s in their interests to establish a long-term relationship with you). Like love, finding a good financial adviser ain’t easy. It might take you a decade before you find the money partner of your dreams. The good news is that, unlike the hellhole that is Tinder, dating financial advisers is pretty simple, because **normally people don’t charge you anything for the first meeting.** You should take full advantage of this. Meeting a bunch of different advisers is a great way to get multiple opinions about what you should be doing with your money. ## How to find the financial adviser of your dreams The best way to find an adviser is **through word of mouth.** If you have no luck asking around, there’s an industry body called the Financial Planning Institute and they have a [website](https://www.letsplan.co.za/LetsPlan/Resources/Resources/Find%5Fa%5Ffinancial%5Fplanner/FPI%5FConsumers/Find%5FA%5FFinancial%5FPlanner%5FBasic.aspx?hkey=c8cc21a3-1ada-4086-bf85-17df6b731ce2&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) where you can search for people in your area. Look for someone with a CFP qualification – they’re generally slightly better than others who are only registered with the Financial Services Board. Do not go to your bank. Do not talk to an adviser who works for a specific company with their own products. These guys are salespeople. That’s not what you’re looking for. Once you’ve found a few options, set up a first meeting and go suss them out. Here are the main things you are looking for: - **They’re legit.** (They’re registered with the Financial Services Board and preferably have the CFP designation.) This means they’ve passed exams to prove that they know what they’re talking about. - **They’re independent.** They don’t just sell products for one or two companies. - They’re smart and **not an asshole.** **Here are some questions I’d ask them:** - What qualifications do you have? - How long have you been practising? - How do you make money? What proportion of your income comes from commissions and baked-in fees? Are you open to working on an explicit fee basis, where I pay you by the hour? (It’s okay if they don’t work like this, as long as they agree to be very clear and explicit with you about any baked-in fees they earn.) - Which companies’ products do you sell the most of? Why do you recommend them? Do you earn a commission from them? (If you hear something like ‘I’m an agent for Company X,’ run for the hills.) - What do you think about low-fee passive investing? (Look, there are good reasons to say that passive investing shouldn’t be your only strategy, but you should be sceptical of people who dismiss it completely). ## Some specific recommendations in South Africa Look guys, I haven’t met every single financial adviser in the country so I can’t personally give you the Official Rankings of the Best Advisers in South Africa. I can tell you, though, that these are some people that I do personally vouch for, as in, I have actually met them in person, I know that they are properly qualified and appropriately independent, and I believe they sincerely care about their clients. - [**DoshGuide**](https://doshguide.co/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)\- a new platform helping connect people with fee-based financial advisers throughout South Africa. - [**Julian Brookstone**](http://www.julianbrookstone.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (Julian was my own personal adviser; he’s based in Cape Town). - [**Galileo Capital**](https://galileocapital.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)(one of the most highly-regarded groups in the country, but expensive - they specialise in complex financial planning for wealthy people) - [**Fiscal**](https://fiscal.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [**Verso**](http://verso.co.za/page/investment-planning?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [**Terence Tobin**](https://www.terencetobin.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) **\-** specialises in working with parents of young families. Do you know of a really wonderful financial adviser or coach who you think should be on this list? Get in touch and tell me about them. I’ll sit down with them, have a chat, and if I agree that they’re awesome, I’ll be happy to add them to this list. ### Find your credit score URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/find-your-credit-score/ Last updated: 2026-08-26T13:03:25.000Z ****In brief:** I like the [Clearscore](https://www.clearscore.com/za?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) interface best. Every time you take out any kind of loan through a formal institution, that company will disclose that information to the credit bureaus. Credit bureaus keep track of everyone’s debts. Every time you make a payment a day late, or you take out too many store cards, or you max out your credit limit, all of this information is reported to them. Debt is like high school, fam: there are no secrets. Your credit report is a big deal and it can have a huge impact on your life. Every time you apply for a new kind of debt, or a subscription to something, the first thing a company does is check your credit report. Companies are required to do this by law, and you can’t stop them. Sometimes landlords will pull a credit report on you before they let you rent out an apartment. Potential employers are allowed to pull a report on you when you apply for a job. On the upside, if you’ve got a good credit history, then you’re likely to get offered better terms for the loans that you do need to take. If you ever want a home loan or a car loan, the best way to get one at a good interest rate is to have an excellent credit history. By law, every South African is allowed to get one free credit report about themselves, every year. There are endless stories of people checking their credit reports to find errors or fraud in them. Sometimes people check their credit reports to find that someone’s taken out a loan in their name, and now their credit score is shot to shit. You have the right to force the credit bureaus to correct any errors against your name, as long as you can prove that they’re errors. So, get your credit report every year. There are a couple of credit bureaus that operate in South Africa that provide these reports, but they all have pretty much the same information about you. Pick one and order a report on their website. ## Get your free credit report here: - [ClearScore](https://www.clearscore.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) < RECOMMENDED - [TransUnion](https://www.transunion.co.za/assistance/free-credit-report?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [Experian](https://www.experian.co.za/consumer-services/index.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Read more about how to establish a credit score from scratch.](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-do-i-establish-a-credit-score/) ### How much should you be paying your domestic worker? URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-much-should-you-be-paying-your-domestic-worker/ Last updated: 2026-08-26T13:22:28.000Z If you employ a domestic worker, **you are their employer**. This means you have the same responsibilities to them that you would have to any other type of employee. You owe them exactly the same level of clarity, communication and fairness that you would expect in your own job. This means: - Have a written contract. Even for part-time arrangements or if your employee is a foreign national. It should include notice periods, leave, annual increases, and all the nitty gritty that avoids future misunderstandings. Give your domestic worker a copy of this document. Even if they can’t read, they will know people who can. [There's a simple contract template on page 18 here.](https://labourguide.co.za/~documents/route%3A/download/161?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - Pay them fairly. This is not the place to scrimp. [Here is a useful calculator](http://living-wage.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) to make sure you're paying your domestic worker a (real) living wage. - Follow the law. Domestic working relationships are governed by clear rules, and you need to know them. For instance, if there’s a public holiday on a Monday and that’s the day your domestic worker usually works, you can’t require that they work that day (you must pay them anyway). If they do agree to work on a public holiday, they must be paid double. The [Department of Labour has an excellent, clear summary about the rules you need to know.](https://labourguide.co.za/~documents/route%3A/download/161?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - If they work more than 24 hours a month for you, you’re legally required to register them for UIF (the Unemployment Insurance Fund) and COIDA (the Compensation Fund). [Here's a guide.](https://www.1life.co.za/blog/guide-to-employing-a-domestic-worker?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) If you’ve employed a domestic worker for many years, think about putting money away for a retirement package. There is no legal requirement to do this, but it’s common practice and the right thing to do. [Sanlam offers retirement packages](https://sc.sanlam.co.za/scmelee/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) especially tailored for domestic workers. BUT, a domestic worker is likely earning less than the income tax threshold, so another good option is simply to open up a regular investment account at EasyEquities for them in their name. If you have no ability to save extra for them, make sure you’ve communicated this clearly so they can make plans. ### Should you keep renting, or buy a house? URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/should-you-keep-renting-or-buy-a-house/ Last updated: 2026-08-26T13:48:56.000Z Stuck on the question of whether it’s smarter to rent or buy the place you live in? Play around with a **rent vs. buy calculator** to help you figure out how the maths works out in your situation. - My favourite remains Rolling Alpha's [rent vs. buy calculator](https://www.rollingalpha.com/rent-or-buy-the-calculator/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), but some of the assumptions are a little out of date, so you might want to play with the defaults. - As an alternative, [Haasendal Estate's calculator](https://www.haasendalestate.co.za/rent-vs-buy-calculator?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) has some good South African defaults and benchmarks. If you're ready to take the plunge, here are some [tools and calculators for SA homebuyers.](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/tools-for-sa-homebuyers/) Happy calculating! ### Some great apps and tools to help you manage your money URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/some-great-apps-and-tools-to-help-you-manage-your-money/ Last updated: 2026-08-29T09:08:37.000Z *Last updated: August 2026* ****In brief** My top options right now are [****Finwise**](https://finwiseapp.io/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [****Lunch Money**](https://lunchmoney.app/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) for most people. If you're looking for more advanced wealth management tools, try [****Kubera**](https://www.kubera.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). To build good financial habits, you need an app that shows you two things: - A clear view of all your **recent transactions** (so you can see where your money's really going). - A snapshot of your **current balances** (bank accounts, investments, debts, savings). And you want a system that keeps this data up to date without stealing your entire weekend (ideally, by **automatically syncing** the data securely with your financial institutions) or selling you random shit you don't need. Some people like a spreadsheet (I’ve even made one for you to download [here](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/dashboard/)). Others prefer an app that does the heavy lifting. You do you. Either way, you need a way to see your money clearly. The very irritating thing is that **most “Best Money App” lists you'll find online are written like the rest of the world outside the United States doesn’t exist**. Mint, Monarch Money, Rocket Money and Quicken are fine and dandy if you live in Delaware. Much less useful if you're sitting in Durban or Delhi. So I’ve made you a better list. Whether you’re in South Africa, the UK, or you've got pots of money all over the world like a wanderlust leprechaun, these apps will actually work for you. ⚠️ I update this page periodically. If you spot something that's gone out of date, won't you sweetly [pop me an email](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/contact/) to let me know. Thanks! ## 🌍 Best global apps All of these apps work **globally** and let you track accounts from most places in the world (useful if you've ended up with pockets of money in different countries). They all offer manual entry if you prefer to update your data yourself. The main difference is how well they support **automatic syncing** with banks and investment platforms from different countries. I’ve indicated how well each platform covers *South African* institutions specifically (I'm South African), but even if the auto-sync isn't available for your country, you can still use any of these apps by entering the data manually. | App | Key Features | $/month | SA auto-sync | | ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | ------------------------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------ | ------------ | | **[Finwise](https://finwiseapp.io/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** | **Spending & wealth tracking.** Clean UI. | $9 | Excellent | | **[Lunch Money](https://lunchmoney.app/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** | **Spending & wealth tracking.** Rules engine, clean UI, great team. | $10 | None | | **[Cashew](https://cashewapp.web.app/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** | **Spending tracking only.** Good-looking mobile and web apps. | Free | None | | **[Kubera](https://www.kubera.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** | **Wealth tracking only.** Great advanced investing tools. | $20 | Excellent | | **[Buxfer](https://www.buxfer.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** | **Spending & wealth tracking.** Klunky but full-featured. | From $10 | Good | | **[Budget Bakers](https://budgetbakers.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** | **Spending tracking only.** | From $7 | Good | | **[Pocketsmith](https://www.pocketsmith.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** | **Spending & wealth tracking.** Pretty. | Free / from $10 | Good | | **[YNAB](https://www.ynab.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** | **Budgeting only.** Strict budgeting philosophy you'll love/hate. | $15 | None | | **[Toshl](https://toshl.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** | **Spending tracking only.** Minimalist. | Free / from $5 with sync | Limited | | **[Spendee](https://www.spendee.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** | **Spending tracking only.** Stylish UI. | Free / from $6 with sync | Limited | | **[Actual Budget](https://actualbudget.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** | **Spending tracking only.** Techy, but great privacy. | Free | None | | **[Exirio](https://www.exirio.com/benefits/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com)** | **Wealth tracking only.** Investment-focussed. | Free / from $28 | Limited | **🥇** My favourites are [**Finwise**](https://finwiseapp.io/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [**Lunch Money**](https://lunchmoney.app/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), but take a look and see which one will be best for your individual needs. If you're looking for more advanced wealth management tools, I personally use [Kubera](https://www.kubera.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and love it to bits. It's expensive though. ## 🇿🇦 Best South African apps Tjommas, the best option right now is [**Finwise**](https://finwiseapp.io/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), which costs about R160 a month. It's a global app but built by two South Africans, with excellent coverage of local banks and investment platforms. Privacy, check, security, check. It's the best all-rounder at the moment. Or take a look at [**Lunch Money**](https://lunchmoney.app/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) if you're happy to manually upload your bank transactions once a month. **Auto-sync coverage** of South African banks is spotty. [Kubera](https://www.kubera.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) has the best coverage across Sub-Saharan Africa overall, for instance they offer Standard Bank, FNB, Nedbank Eswatini, ABSA Ghana etc., but Kubera is more of a wealth-management app than a spending tracker. [Buxfer](https://www.buxfer.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [Pocketsmith](https://www.pocketsmith.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) support most major South African banks. But if you're willing to use CSV uploads, you can use basically any tool from the Global Apps list. [Vault22](https://www.vault22.io/za?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (which used to be 22seven) used to be a fantastic free **South African-only option**, but it's become pretty convoluted and strange now. I don't recommend it any more. Most **regular banking apps** offer day-to-day budgeting these days (Capitec's and Discovery Bank's are both pretty good), but you can’t keep track of other things (like your investments or debts) with them. They're not a bad place to start. ### Other useful South African money apps - [Debtbusters](https://www.debtbusters.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): trustworthy debt counsellors. - [Clearscore](https://www.clearscore.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): check your credit score, for free. - [Pokkitscore](https://pokkitscore.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): build your credit score using a savings account. - [Wise](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/the-fascination-of-whats-difficult/): simply the best way to send money around the world. - [Shyft](https://www.shyft.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): an app that lets you buy, store and send foreign currency. Not as good as Wise. - [Mama Money](https://www.mamamoney.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): a cheap and easy way to send cash to other countries in Africa. - [Karri](https://karripay.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): an easy way to manage small payments to your kid’s school. - [EasyEquities](https://www.easyequities.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): my fave South African investment platform. [See this page for a roundup of other good SA investing platforms](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/good-funds/). - [Splitwise](https://www.splitwise.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): an app to help you keep track of money that your friends and family owe you. Very useful if you’re sharing expenses amongst a whole group of friends, like on a holiday. - [Price Check](https://www.pricecheck.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): before you buy something, quickly check whether there’s another store that’s selling it for cheaper. The app has a barcode scanner so you can search for stuff really easily when you’re in the shop. - [Luno](https://www.luno.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and [VALR](https://www.valr.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): the easiest places to buy and sell cryptocurrencies in South Africa, if you’re into that. - [Naked Insurance](https://www.naked.insure/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): affordable, transparent household and car insurance. - [Pineapple Insurance](https://pineapple.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): another option for simple, affordable car and household insurance. - [TaxTim](https://www.taxtim.com/za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): makes doing your tax return a little bit simpler. ## 🇬🇧 Best apps for the United Kingdom Open Banking is the shit, guys! Luckily for you, this means that you have lots to choose from when it comes to spending trackers. ### **Great UK-centric apps to help you wrangle and track your spending** - [**Snoop**](https://snoop.app/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): savings nudges and budgeting tools - [**Emma**](https://emma-app.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): smart insights about your spending. - [**Cleo**](https://web.meetcleo.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): a chat-based AI that will help you budget, save and track your spending. Or try any of the apps listed under "Global" above. A lot of banking apps (like Monzo's and Revolut's) allow you to track some other savings and investments directly in your transactional app. ### **UK apps for investing and saving** - [Hargreaves Lansdown](https://www.hl.co.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): the #1 UK investing platform; a great place to start for most people. - [Trading212](https://www.trading212.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): commission-free stocks and shares ISA. - [Chip](https://www.getchip.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): an app that helps you save for goals. - [Plum](https://withplum.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): a simple chatbot style investment app that has some cute money management features in it too. Good for beginners. - [InteractiveInvestor](https://www.ii.co.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): a full-featured investment platform. - [Freetrade](https://freetrade.io/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): simple interface and quick setup. - [Wealthify](https://www.wealthify.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): risk-based investments backed by Aviva. - [Moneybox](https://www.moneyboxapp.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): for ISAs and LISAs. - [Moneyfarm](https://www.moneyfarm.com/uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com): simple managed portfolios. Personally, I invest directly through [Vanguard](https://www.vanguardinvestor.co.uk/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ## Sign up for Sam Beckbessinger Sam Beckbessinger is the author of FEMME FERAL, a werewolf story about a woman who's done swallowing her fury and has decided to grow claws instead. Subscribe Email sent! Check your inbox to complete your signup. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime. ### Post-apocalyptic Tinder Profiles URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/post-apocalyptic-tinder-profiles/ Last updated: 2020-07-01T07:04:16.000Z My friend [@iheartlungs](http://twitter.com/iheartlungs?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) and I were imagining what Tinder might be like after the apocalypse. But then we looked at what we’d made and realised that it’s pretty much just what Tinder is like now, anyway. **Apologies if we’re using any of your photos here. We just pulled things off the internet willy nilly like irresponsible garbage people. Please get in touch if a photo belongs to you and we will gladly take down that profile.* ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-1.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-2.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-3.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-4.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-5.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-6.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-7.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-8.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-9.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-10.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-11.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-12.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-13.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-14.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-15.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-16.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-17.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-18.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-19.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-20.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-21.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-22.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-23.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-24.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-25.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-26.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-27.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/c2/b9c2a149-27b9-43c3-a29c-9e91f78749cc/content/images/2020/07/image-28.png) ### Who is a coder? URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/who-is-a-coder/ Last updated: 2020-07-01T06:59:51.000Z I’ve lost track of the number of people I meet who work in tech but tell me that they can’t code. So, so, often, these people are women. “I’m not a coder. I just use Python and SQL to analyse data.” “I’m not a coder. I just build websites.” “I’m not a coder. I’m more of a scripter, really. I turn high school math problems into Javascript modules.” “I’m not a coder, but take a look at this hardcore Excel formula I wrote that has 14 nested if-else statements.” I hate to break it to you, but there’s no Council of Coders who will arrive at your doorstep one day when you’ve written one perfect line of C++ and pin a “I’m a real coder now!” badge on you. Most people who you think of as coders don’t have degrees in coding. For real. Ask them. You can code, the moment when you make the first piece of software that you’re proud of and put it out in the world. It doesn’t matter how simple that thing is, or how many tutorials and instructions you had to follow to put it together. To be a coder is a far more general term than to be a software engineer. It’s like asking whether you know how to play tennis. There are professional players, and that can take decades and thousands of hours to master. But actually, there are a lot of people who aren’t terrible at whacking a ball at each other on a court. There’s nothing weird about saying you can play a bit of tennis after you’ve spent just an hour or two playing tennis. No one will call you out as a gross tennis imposter and shame you into going back inside. And no-one, incidentally, fully knows How to Code. People know bits of languages and have gained experience in solving certain types of problems. A lot of the time, they’re typing queries into Google or Stackoverflow and reading documentation, and figuring out how to build the plane as they fly it. Just like you. ### 80,000 Hours URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/80-000-hours/ Last updated: 2020-04-25T06:52:44.000Z Confused about career stuff? WOO LORDY, I know the feeling. My career ambition is still pretty much to become a [garden hermit](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garden%5Fhermit?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). 80,000 hours is the best tool I’ve found to help you think through career stuff. Their website covers everything from choosing what to study, working out how you can make the greatest impact on the world, to actually planning a mid-career change and finding the job of your dreams. The best place to start is probably by reading their [comprehensive career guide](https://80000hours.org/career-guide/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). It’s long (so long that it also comes in book form), but every word of it is gold. You can opt to receive it as a weekly newsletter or watch video summaries if you have attention problems. They also have a nifty [decision tool](https://80000hours.org/career-decision/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) if you’re trying to think through a specific career decision (quit your accounting job to take up a thrilling new life as a pirate). And a podcast, and reviews about what some popular careers are actually like and whether they do good in the world, and a bunch of other very rad shit. Just go take a look. They take a robust academic approach to their advice, so it’s better than just asking your auntie. The focus is a bit more on Europe/the US, but most of it is still 100% applicable. ### Affordable Therapy in South Africa URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/affordable-therapy-in-south-africa/ Last updated: 2026-07-08T10:28:14.000Z Um hello, why is a website that mostly talks about personal finance trying to send you to therapy? Well ... the obvious: because **money's about feelings way more than it's about numbers**. How you behave with money has a whole lot to do with how you feel about yourself, what you value, your biggest anxieties and dreams. A lot of the time people email me about tricky money dynamics in their relationships and it's really clear that really what's going on is a relationship problem, not a money problem. And also because, as I can tell you better than anyone, financial stress is a major predictor of suicide. But I get it – good therapists aren't cheap! So here are some suggestions for more affordable mental health support in South Africa. ## Helplines If you need *urgent help right now*, please call one of these toll-free numbers: - The [South African Depression and Anxiety Group](https://www.sadag.org/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) 24-hour crisis helpline: **0800 567 567** - The [Lifeline](https://www.lifeline.org.za/Home.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) 24-hour national counselling helpline: **0861 322 322** - The [**National Gambling Helpline**](https://responsiblegambling.org.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) is **0800 006 008**, or WhatsApp/SMS HELP To 076 675 0710 - [Gambler's Anonymous](https://gamblersanonymous.org.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) offers helplines in GP, KZN and the WC (see their website for the numbers) If none of those work for you, [here is a longer list of helplines in South Africa](https://findahelpline.com/countries/za?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Even if you're not currently having an urgent crisis, it's perfectly fine to call any of those helplines. They're also a great first point-of-call to direct you to longer-term support. And the volunteers on those lines ARE THERE TO LISTEN, that's literally what they're there for! You're not wasting resources by calling any of those helplines. ## Free counselling - SADAG offers help for anxiety and depression, as well as for specific conditions like Bipolar Disorder, ADHD and substance dependence. They offer WhatsApp chat lines, both online and face-to-face support groups, and run several different helplines. They're a great first stop to find help. - Lifeline offers [in-person counselling centres](https://www.lifeline.org.za/Centres.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) all around the country. - [Wits Emthonjeni Centre](https://www.wits.ac.za/shcd/emthonjeni-centre/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) in Johannesburg offers free or cheap short-term counselling at their Psychology Clinic and then can refer you to partners for ongoing help. ## Affordable counselling - [The Counselling Hub](https://counsellinghub.org.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) low-cost counselling centre in Cape Town or online: [067 235 0019](tel:+27672350019), R50 donations per session. - [FAMSA](https://www.famsawc.org.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) specialise in relationship and couple's counselling on a sliding-scale basis based on income. By the way, if you think there's any chance some of the dynamics in your relationship are abusive, go to solo therapy before you go to couples therapy. ## Medical aid If you have **medical aid**, they will probably pay for at least some therapy sessions. PMBs (prescribed minimum benefits) cover many mental health conditions (including general depression and anxiety). Check with your medical aid before booking. ## Other useful relationship resources Podcasts and books are no replacement for an actual relationship with a real therapist, but [Ester Perel's *Where Should We Begin*](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/where-should-we-begin-with-esther-perel/id1237931798&ved=2ahUKEwjk2ZC%5F7sKVAxU9VUEAHdgHIQcQFnoECA0QAQ&usg=AOvVaw1DDY2C7ew1NRjQyOETzWxk)is marvellous. My partner and I love to listen to the episodes together and then discuss any relevance to our own lives (or at least *skinner* about other people's relationships). If you're struggling to balance unpaid labour in the household, take a look at Eve Rodsky's excellent [*Fair Play*](https://fairplaypolicy.org/the-cards?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) system. Even if you don't buy the set of cards, there's a lot of good strategies to be gleaned just by watching the video explainer about them! Know of any other useful affordable mental health resources that should be on this list? [Please let me know!](https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/contact/) ### Manage Your Money Notes & References URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/manage-your-money-notes-references/ Last updated: 2026-08-26T17:07:26.000Z ## Introduction - **Research shows that financial stress is a predictor of suicide attempts…** - Roelfs, D.J. and Shor, E. (2023). Financial Stress, Unemployment, and Suicide – A Meta-Analysis. Crisis-the Journal of Crisis Intervention and Suicide Prevention, 44(6). [https://doi.org/10.1027/0227-5910/a000908](https://doi.org/10.1027/0227-5910/a000908?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ### Chapter 1: This Book is For You - **Our country’s low levels of financial literacy …** - Poalses, J., van Tonder, J., van Aardt, C. and de Clercq, B. (2023). Household Finance Insights Report. Momentum & Unisa. [https://sls-fresco.momentum.co.za/files/documents/campaigns/successisascience/household-financial-wellness-index-2023.pdf](https://sls-fresco.momentum.co.za/files/documents/campaigns/successisascience/household-financial-wellness-index-2023.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - Roberts, B., Struwig, J., Gordon, S. and Radebe, T. (2021). Financial Literacy in South Africa: Results from the 2020 Baseline Survey. Human Sciences Research Council (HSRC). [https://hsrc.ac.za/outputs/13691/](https://hsrc.ac.za/outputs/13691/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **A third of working South Africans gamble at least once a week…** - 62% of gamblers in South Africa report gambling frequency of once a week or more, and 52% of working South Africans report that they gamble, so the inferred statistic is 32.34% of working South Africans gambling at least once a week. Another worrying statistic is that 40% of working South Africans acknowledge they gamble frequently hoping to cover their expenses and debt repayments. - Old Mutual Savings & Investments Monitor 2025\. [https://www.oldmutual.co.za/v3/assets/blt0554f48052bb4620/blt8c2210b79f311622/688b3c984495bcad6e45ac81/OMSIM\_2025\_Report.pdf](https://www.oldmutual.co.za/v3/assets/blt0554f48052bb4620/blt8c2210b79f311622/688b3c984495bcad6e45ac81/OMSIM%5F2025%5FReport.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **South Africans wagered a total of 1.5 trillion on legal gambling…** - National Gambling Board Annual Report 2024/25\. National Gambling Board. [https://www.thedtic.gov.za/wp-content/uploads/Re-Revised-NGB-AR.pdf](https://www.thedtic.gov.za/wp-content/uploads/Re-Revised-NGB-AR.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **South Africa has extremely low levels of social mobility…** - Narayan, A., Van der Weide, R., Cojocaru, A., Lakner, C., Redaelli, S., Gerszon Mahler, D., Ramasubbaiah, R.G.N. and Thewissen, S. (2018). Fair Progress? Economic Mobility across Generations around the World. The World Bank. [https://openknowledge.worldbank.org/bitstream/handle/10986/28428/9781464812101.pdf](https://openknowledge.worldbank.org/bitstream/handle/10986/28428/9781464812101.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **In a country with 40% unemployment…** - The strict unemployment rate was 31.9% by the end of 2025, but if you include people who want to work but are not actively seeking (LU3) it was 42.4%. - Stats SA. Quarterly Labour Force Survey, Quarter 3: 2025\. [https://www.statssa.gov.za/publications/P0211/P02113rdQuarter2025.pdf](https://www.statssa.gov.za/publications/P0211/P02113rdQuarter2025.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - Some have suggested that the official Stats SA employment and income stats make the picture look worse than it is because they undercount informal township entrepreneurship, but personally I’m with the statisticians on this one. Here’s a useful summary of the debate: Monzeglio, T. (2025). Informal economy overplayed, says UCT’s Prof Haroon Bhorat. Business Day. [https://www.businessday.co.za/bt/business-and-economy/2025-09-21-informal-economy-overplayed-says-ucts-prof-haroon-bhorat/](https://www.businessday.co.za/bt/business-and-economy/2025-09-21-informal-economy-overplayed-says-ucts-prof-haroon-bhorat/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **Income Distribution in South Africa graph** - My source for this is the 2022 BrandMapp survey, explained in Brandon de Kock’s helpful meta-analysis of the various income data sources in South Africa. de Kock, B. and Mahlaka, R. (2022). South Africa’s Middle Class: The Truth At Last. Daily Maverick. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCYVc\_Qobx8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCYVc%5FQobx8&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **More than nine million South Africans have an impaired credit record…** - For years, researchers thought that happiness plateaued once you earned about R65 000 a month… - Berger, M.W. (2023). Does more money correlate with greater happiness?Penn Today. [https://penntoday.upenn.edu/news/does-more-money-correlate-greater-happiness-Penn-Princeton-research](https://penntoday.upenn.edu/news/does-more-money-correlate-greater-happiness-Penn-Princeton-research?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **People who research how human happiness works suggest that most people would be happier living in a tiny house…** - Morin, A. (2014). Want To Be Happier? Change Your Commute or Change Your Attitude. Forbes. [https://www.forbes.com/sites/amymorin/2014/12/07/want-to-be-happier-change-your-commute-or-change-your-attitude](https://www.forbes.com/sites/amymorin/2014/12/07/want-to-be-happier-change-your-commute-or-change-your-attitude?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **There’s literally a website that’s like Property24 for private islands…** - In fact there are several, but the one I spend a lot of time on is [www.privateislandsonline.com](https://www.privateislandsonline.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ENJOY. - **A 2010 study by economist Bhashkar Mazumder showed that incomes among brothers are more correlated than height…** - Mazumder, B. (2011). Family and Community Influences on Health and Socioeconomic Status: Sibling Correlations Over the Life Course. The B.E. Journal of Economic Analysis & Policy, 11(3). [https://doi.org/10.2202/1935-1682.2876](https://doi.org/10.2202/1935-1682.2876?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - This was cited in Morgan Housel’s fantastic book [**The Psychology of Money**](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41881472-the-psychology-of-money?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (2020), which I highly recommend. - **The 10% of wealthiest people in the world own 76% of the world’s wealth. The bottom half owns 2%...** - Chancel, L. (2022). World Inequality Report. World Inequality Lab. [https://wir2022.wid.world/www-site/uploads/2023/03/D\_FINAL\_WIL\_RIM\_RAPPORT\_2303.pdf](https://wir2022.wid.world/www-site/uploads/2023/03/D%5FFINAL%5FWIL%5FRIM%5FRAPPORT%5F2303.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **The five richest men in the world are wealthier than the combined GDP of the 45 (out of 54) African countries…** - I did the maths using the Forbes real-time billionaire tracker estimate from March 2025 combined with the IMF’s GDP data, which I accessed on Wikipedia. - Forbes Real Time Billionaires List. Forbes. [https://www.forbes.com/real-time-billionaires/#6fdf09143d78](https://www.forbes.com/real-time-billionaires/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#6fdf09143d78). - List of African countries by GDP (nominal). Wikipedia. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List*of\_African\_countries\_by\_GDP*(nominal)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List%5Fof%5FAfrican%5Fcountries%5Fby%5FGDP%5F%28nominal%29?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **These five men have more than doubled their wealth since 2020…** - Riddell, R., Ahmed, N., Maitland, A., Lawson, M. and Taneja, A. (2024). Inequality Inc. Oxfam. [https://oi-files-d8-prod.s3.eu-west-2.amazonaws.com/s3fs-public/2024-01/Davos%202024%20Report-%20English.pdf](https://oi-files-d8-prod.s3.eu-west-2.amazonaws.com/s3fs-public/2024-01/Davos%202024%20Report-%20English.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **If you saved R1-million every day since the construction of the Great Pyramid of Giza (about 4,500 years ago), you would still have less wealth than Elon Musk…** - I did the maths on this using Elon’s Forbes real-time billionaire tracker estimate from March 2025\. Forbes Real Time Billionaires List. Forbes. [https://www.forbes.com/real-time-billionaires/#6fdf09143d78](https://www.forbes.com/real-time-billionaires/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com#6fdf09143d78). - **Every day, the world’s billionaires get R50-billion richer collectively – enough to build 200,000 RDP houses in South Africa.** - I did the maths on this combining these two sources: Zintle Mahlati (2023). Government increases the money it spends on RDP, social housing. News24\. [https://www.news24.com/politics/government-increases-the-money-it-spends-on-rdp-social-housing-20230331](https://www.news24.com/politics/government-increases-the-money-it-spends-on-rdp-social-housing-20230331?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - Christensen, M.-B., Hallum, C., Maitland, A., Parrinello, Q. and Putaturo, C. (2023). Survival of the Richest. Oxfam. [https://oxfamilibrary.openrepository.com/bitstream/handle/10546/621477/bp-survival-of-the-richest-160123-summ-en.pdf](https://oxfamilibrary.openrepository.com/bitstream/handle/10546/621477/bp-survival-of-the-richest-160123-summ-en.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **Where you were born is by far the biggest factor in how much you’ll earn in your lifetime…** - Milanovic, Branko L. Global inequality of opportunity: how much of our income is determined by where we live? World Bank Group. [http://documents.worldbank.org/curated/en/712251468165866186](http://documents.worldbank.org/curated/en/712251468165866186?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **The average South African household earns R14,000 a month. The average Australian household earns the equivalent of R57,000 a month...** - This refers to household net adjusted disposable income, which is the amount of money a household earns each year after taxes and transfers. - OECD (2022). OECD Better Life Index. [https://www.oecdbetterlifeindex.org/topics/income/](https://www.oecdbetterlifeindex.org/topics/income/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **South Africa un-proudly holds the title for the world’s most unequal country…** - As alluded to in the footnote, there might technically be a more unequal country out there in the data void (looking at you, North Korea and Saudi Arabia), but among countries where we actually have reliable statistics, South Africa consistently tops the charts for inequality — measured by the Gini coefficient and other economic indicators. This is well cited across several sources; here’s just one. - UBS (2024). Global Wealth Report. [https://www.ubs.com/content/dam/assets/wm/global/insights/doc/global-wealth-report.pdf](https://www.ubs.com/content/dam/assets/wm/global/insights/doc/global-wealth-report.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **The top 0.01% of South Africans (3,500 people) own 15% of the country’s wealth, more than the bottom 90% as a whole…** - Chatterjee, A., Czajka, L. and Gethin, A. (2020). Estimating the Distribution of Household Wealth in South Africa. Southern Centre for Inequality Studies & the World Inequality Lab. [https://wid.world/document/estimating-the-distribution-of-household-wealth-in-south-africa-wid-world-working-paper-2020-06/](https://wid.world/document/estimating-the-distribution-of-household-wealth-in-south-africa-wid-world-working-paper-2020-06/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **If you were born in a rich area in South Africa, you can expect to live 13 years longer than someone born into a poor one…** - Bredenkamp, C., Burger, R., Jourdan, A. and Van Doorslaer, E. (2021). Changing Inequalities in Health-Adjusted Life Expectancy by Income and Race in South Africa. Health Systems & Reform, 7(2), p.e1909303\. [https://doi.org/10.1080/23288604.2021.1909303](https://doi.org/10.1080/23288604.2021.1909303?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **Wealth inequality has worsened since democracy…** - Chatterjee, A., Czajka, L. and Gethin, A. (2021). Can Redistribution Keep Up With Inequality? Evidence from South Africa, 1993-2019\. World Inequality Lab. [https://wid.world/document/can-redistribution-keep-up-with-inequality-evidence-from-south-africa-1993-2019-world-inequality-lab-wp2021-20/](https://wid.world/document/can-redistribution-keep-up-with-inequality-evidence-from-south-africa-1993-2019-world-inequality-lab-wp2021-20/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **In 1994, the top 10% of earners took home 46% of the country’s income. By 2024, it was 65%...** - World Inequality Database (2024). South Africa. [https://wid.world/country/south-africa/](https://wid.world/country/south-africa/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - From 2020 to 2024, inflation cut the value of our paycheques and few people’s salaries kept up … - The original source for this was the BankservAfrica Take-home Pay Index, but they've rebranded as PayInc and the report is no longer accessible on their website. (2025). Here it was reported on: Opperman, I. No Inflation-Related Salary Increases Over Past Two Years. **The Citizen**. [https://www.citizen.co.za/business/personal-finance/no-inflation-related-salary-increases-over-past-two-years/](https://www.citizen.co.za/business/personal-finance/no-inflation-related-salary-increases-over-past-two-years/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **Research shows that financial stress has eased since the Covid peak…** - Old Mutual Savings & Investments Monitor 2025\. [https://www.oldmutual.co.za/v3/assets/blt0554f48052bb4620/blt8c2210b79f311622/688b3c984495bcad6e45ac81/OMSIM\_2025\_Report.pdf](https://www.oldmutual.co.za/v3/assets/blt0554f48052bb4620/blt8c2210b79f311622/688b3c984495bcad6e45ac81/OMSIM%5F2025%5FReport.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **13 million of them survive on less than R40 a day…** - R40 is a rough conversion of the global ‘$2 a day’ poverty line. - Galal, S. (2025). South Africa: People in extreme poverty 2016-2025\. Statista. [https://www.statista.com/statistics/1263290/number-of-people-living-in-extreme-poverty-in-south-africa/](https://www.statista.com/statistics/1263290/number-of-people-living-in-extreme-poverty-in-south-africa/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **The unemployment rate for black South Africans is 37%, while for white South Africans, it’s 8%.** - Saidafin, G. (2023). South Africa: unemployment rate by population group 2019-2020\. Statista. [https://www.statista.com/statistics/1129481/unemployment-rate-by-population-group-in-south-africa/](https://www.statista.com/statistics/1129481/unemployment-rate-by-population-group-in-south-africa/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **The median black household has just 5% of the wealth of a white household.** - Grieve Chelwa, Mashekwa Maboshe and Hamilton, D. (2024). The Racial Wealth Gap in South Africa and the United States. Review of Political Economy, 36(2), pp.1–18\. [https://doi.org/10.1080/09538259.2024.2318962](https://doi.org/10.1080/09538259.2024.2318962?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **Meanwhile, 66% of top management jobs are held by … you guessed it … white people. And mostly dudes…** - Department of Employment and Labour. 23rd Commission for Employment Equity (CEE) Annual Report 2022-2023\. [https://www.labour.gov.za/DocumentCenter/Reports/Annual%20Reports/Employment%20Equity/2022-2023/23rd%20Annual%20CEE%20Report.pdf](https://www.labour.gov.za/DocumentCenter/Reports/Annual%20Reports/Employment%20Equity/2022-2023/23rd%20Annual%20CEE%20Report.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **Some call this ‘Black Tax’, some call it ‘family responsibility’, or just ubuntu.** - Niq Mhlongo’s (ed.) wonderful book [Black Tax: Burden or Ubuntu](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/53021483-black-tax?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (2019) is a nuanced look at these emotional dynamics. - **The poor are not poor because they’re not working hard enough…** - A fantastic resource on this is the book [Portfolios of the Poor](http://www.portfoliosofthepoor.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (2009), which examines the complex, careful money management strategies of people living below the international breadline. A lot of the research described in the book took place in South Africa. The authors are Daryl Collins, Orlanda Ruthven, Stuart Rutherford, Jonathan Morduch. - **On average, South African women earn nearly 30% less than South African men…** - This report is the source for most of the statistics in this section. - Alarakhia, M., Petreski, M., Sheikh Ahmed, Z. and Tanima, T. (2023). Why Women Earn Less: Gender Pay Gap and Labour-Market Inequalities in South Africa. UN Women. [https://africa.unwomen.org/sites/default/files/2024-03/un\_women\_south\_africa\_gender\_pay\_gap\_report.pdf](https://africa.unwomen.org/sites/default/files/2024-03/un%5Fwomen%5Fsouth%5Fafrica%5Fgender%5Fpay%5Fgap%5Freport.pdf.?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **Even when women enter a previously male field, the pay often drops…** - Levanon, A., England, P. and Allison, P. (2009). Occupational Feminization and Pay: Assessing Causal Dynamics Using 1950-2000 U.S. Census Data. Social Forces, 88(2), pp.865–891\. [https://doi.org/10.1353/sof.0.0264](https://doi.org/10.1353/sof.0.0264?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **72% of the country’s teachers are women, but only 37% of the school principals are…** - Skosana, I. (2018). Women teach and men lead? Gender inequality in South African schools examined. Africa Check. [https://africacheck.org/fact-checks/reports/women-teach-and-men-lead-gender-inequality-south-african-schools-examined](https://africacheck.org/fact-checks/reports/women-teach-and-men-lead-gender-inequality-south-african-schools-examined?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **More children live with only their mothers (42%) than with both parents (33%)…** - Stats SA (2021). Families and parents are key to well-being of children. [https://www.statssa.gov.za/?p=14388](https://www.statssa.gov.za/?p=14388&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **Fewer than half of single mothers get any paternal support…** - Old Mutual Savings & Investments Monitor 2023\. [https://www.oldmutual.co.za/v3/assets/blt0554f48052bb4620/blt5ee7cdd3f3cbb1fe/64b7b2adc1baf4a1e35b575d/OMSIM\_2023\_Report.pdf](https://www.oldmutual.co.za/v3/assets/blt0554f48052bb4620/blt5ee7cdd3f3cbb1fe/64b7b2adc1baf4a1e35b575d/OMSIM%5F2023%5FReport.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **Women live longer than men but enter retirement with only three-quarters of the retirement savings that men do…** - Alexander Forbes Member Insights. (2021). [https://issuu.com/alexanderforbescomms/docs/member\_insights\_issuu?fr=sMjA0OTQzMjEzNjU](https://issuu.com/alexanderforbescomms/docs/member%5Finsights%5Fissuu?fr=sMjA0OTQzMjEzNjU&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - Research **shows that women have lower confidence about their financial skills than men, but make better investors...** - Stewart, N. (2018). Are Women Better Investors than Men? Warwick Business School. [https://www.wbs.ac.uk/news/are-women-better-investors-than-men/](https://www.wbs.ac.uk/news/are-women-better-investors-than-men/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **There’s solid evidence that people with higher financial literacy build more wealth …** - **The Household Finance Insights Report** cited earlier validated this in South Africa, but it’s supported by international research too. - Lusardi, A., Michaud, P. and Mitchell, O.S. (2017). Optimal Financial Knowledge and Wealth Inequality. Journal of Political Economy, \[online\] 125(2), pp.431–477\. [https://www.jstor.org/stable/26550400](https://www.jstor.org/stable/26550400?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - OECD (2023). OECD/INFE 2023 International Survey of Adult Financial Literacy. [https://www.oecd.org/en/publications/oecd-infe-2023-international-survey-of-adult-financial-literacy\_56003a32-en.html](https://www.oecd.org/en/publications/oecd-infe-2023-international-survey-of-adult-financial-literacy%5F56003a32-en.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - Matemane, M. R. (2018). Saving for Tomorrow: Does the Level of Financial Literacy in the South African Working Class Matter? South African Business Review, 22\. [https://doi.org/10.25159/1998-8125/4443](https://doi.org/10.25159/1998-8125/4443?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **There’s a researcher named Brad Klontz…** - You can take the test yourself, for free, on Brad’s website: [https://www.bradklontz.com/moneyscriptstest](https://www.bradklontz.com/moneyscriptstest?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - Klontz, B., Britt, S.L., Mentzer, J. and Klontz, T. (2011). Money Beliefs and Financial Behaviors: Development of the Klontz Money Script Inventory. Journal of Financial Therapy, 2(1). [https://doi.org/10.4148/jft.v2i1.451](https://doi.org/10.4148/jft.v2i1.451?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **More than ten million South Africans have an impaired credit record...** - National Credit Regulator Annual Report 2024/2025. - [https://www.thedtic.gov.za/wp-content/uploads/NCR-Annual-Report-2024\_2025.pdf](https://www.thedtic.gov.za/wp-content/uploads/NCR-Annual-Report-2024%5F2025.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). **Your brain wasn’t designed to deal with money…** - If you want to learn more about behavioural economics, these are my faves: - [Thinking, Fast and Slow](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11468377-thinking-fast-and-slow?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) – Daniel Kahneman - [Meditations for Mortals](https://www.oliverburkeman.com/meditationsformortals?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) – Oliver Burkeman - [Predictably Irrational](https://predictablyirrational.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) – Dan Ariely - [Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us](https://www.danpink.com/books/drive/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) – Daniel H. Pink - [Nudge: Improving Decisions about Health, Wealth and Happiness](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3450744-nudge?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) – Richard Thaler & Cass Sunstein - [Scarcity: Why Having Little Means So Much](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/19171084-scarcity?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) – Sendhil Mullainathan & Eldar Shafir - [Happy Money](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15803098-happy-money?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) Elizabeth Dunn & Michael Nortan - [The Psychology of Money](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41881472-the-psychology-of-money?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) – Morgan Housel ### Chapter 2: A Money Crash Course - **Studies show that more than half of us struggle with basic money concepts…** - The **Household Finance Insights Report** cited earlier. - **A 2020 survey of affluent South Africans found that 70% of them have less than 3 months’ savings ...** - This is from a Discovery Bank survey which collected data on 4 700 South Africans with an average annual income of around R630 000. - Brothwell, R. (2020). Here’s How Many Wealthy South Africans Are Living from Payday to Payday. BusinessTech. [https://businesstech.co.za/news/banking/379339/heres-how-many-wealthy-south-africans-are-living-from-payday-to-payday](https://businesstech.co.za/news/banking/379339/heres-how-many-wealthy-south-africans-are-living-from-payday-to-payday?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **Nearly half of all Saffa salary earners are left with R1,000 or a negative balance by payday…** - Libera, M. (2024). Alarm Bells for Middle-Class and Rich South Africans. BusinessTech. [https://businesstech.co.za/news/finance/796804/alarm-bells-for-middle-class-and-rich-south-africans-2/](https://businesstech.co.za/news/finance/796804/alarm-bells-for-middle-class-and-rich-south-africans-2/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - 6**0-70% of their income goes directly to servicing their debt** - Debtbusters. Q3 2025 Debt Index. [https://www.debtbusters.co.za/debt-index/q3-2025-debt-index/](https://www.debtbusters.co.za/debt-index/q3-2025-debt-index/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **There are ten million South Africans who are more than three months behind on their debt repayments...** - National Credit Regulator Annual Report 2024/2025 above. - **Price of an Original Spur Burger** - Compiled from photographs of original Spur menus I found on social media sites, as well as this article. - Chiraag (2025). From 30 Cents to Over R360: What a Spur Burger Tells Us About South Africa’s Shrinking Rand. Joburg(etc). [https://www.joburgetc.com/business/spur-burger-price-inflation-south-africa-2025/](https://www.joburgetc.com/business/spur-burger-price-inflation-south-africa-2025/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **In South Africa, inflation averages around 5.4% a year…** - The South African Reserve Bank (SARB) targets an inflation range of 3% to 6%, but it fluctuates a lot within that range. 5.4% was the average between 2010-2020. - **In October 2001, you could have bought an iPod for $400 (about R7 000)…** - The iPod was released on 23 October 2001 for an initial retail price of $399\. The Apple share price on that date was $0.27 per share, so you could have bought 1,477 shares. On 30 June 2025 the Apple share price was $201.08 per share, so you’d now have $297 000, and the USD to ZAR mid-market rate was roughly R17.78 per USD at time of writing. - **Growth of R1 over 94 years in real terms…** - Old Mutual Long Term Perspectives Report 2025\. [https://www.oldmutual.co.za/campaign/ereaders/longtermperspectives2025/index.html](https://www.oldmutual.co.za/campaign/ereaders/longtermperspectives2025/index.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ### Chapter 3: Get Your Shit Together - **90% of South Africans who earn between R20k-R40k per month don’t have R10k saved for a financial emergency.** - Old Mutual Savings & Investments Monitor 2019\. [https://www.oldmutual.co.za/v3/assets/blt0554f48052bb4620/bltce1a53b220710006/60e85bfaa8962b1d5fb0a451/old-mutual-savings-and-investment-full-report-2019.pdf](https://www.oldmutual.co.za/v3/assets/blt0554f48052bb4620/bltce1a53b220710006/60e85bfaa8962b1d5fb0a451/old-mutual-savings-and-investment-full-report-2019.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ### Chapter 4: Figure Out Which Game You’re Playing - **It’s like giving yourself an immediate 21% raise...** - Old Mutual Savings and Investment Monitor 2024, cited earlier. - **Here’s how long it took the US stock market to fully recover from some of the big crashes in history...** - This refers to real returns counted from the peak value to the time the cumulative value recovers to the previous peak. Kaplan, P. (2022). 6 Things to Know About Stock Market Crashes and Downturns. Morningstar. [https://www.morningstar.com/portfolios/6-things-know-about-stock-market-crashes-downturns](https://www.morningstar.com/portfolios/6-things-know-about-stock-market-crashes-downturns?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **If you’re investing R2,000 a month, it will take you 18 years to reach your first million…** - This assumes a real growth rate of 8% per year. I’m deeply indebted to the brilliant Warren Ingram who first introduced me to a version of this example in [**How to Make Your First Million**](https://www.goodreads.com/author/list/7779508.Warren%5FIngram?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (2016), a great book to read once you’re done with this one. - **You might have seen simplified retirement savings goals…** - These are all over the internet, honestly, but this is a fairly thoughtful version (although not tailored for South Africa). - Fidelity Investments (2024). Retirement Savings Guidelines. [https://retirement.fidelityinternational.com/research-and-insights/retirement-savings-guidelines/](https://retirement.fidelityinternational.com/research-and-insights/retirement-savings-guidelines/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **Only 1 in 10 South Africans will be able maintain their lifestyle after retirement…** - National Treasury (2014). Statement on the Impact of the Proposed Retirement Reforms. [https://www.treasury.gov.za/comm\_media/press/2014/2014070901%20-%20Statement%20on%20the%20Impact%20of%20the%20Proposed%20Retirement%20Reforms.pdf](https://www.treasury.gov.za/comm%5Fmedia/press/2014/2014070901%20-%20Statement%20on%20the%20Impact%20of%20the%20Proposed%20Retirement%20Reforms.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - A 2024 survey found that 40% of retired people were forced to retire before they wanted to… - 10X (2024). Retirement Reality Report. [https://www.10x.co.za/library/10x-retirement-reality-report](https://www.10x.co.za/library/10x-retirement-reality-report?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **The world’s average life expectancy is 74, but you can expect to spend the last 11 of those years living with a disability or serious disease…** - Our World in Data (2023). Healthy life expectancy and years lived with disability or disease, World. [https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/healthy-life-expectancy-and-years-lived-with-disability.](https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/healthy-life-expectancy-and-years-lived-with-disability.?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - '**It is not realistic to finance a 30-year retirement...'** - Quoted in **Money Master the Game** by Tony Robbins, a book I don't generally recommend, but I do like this quote. ### Chapter 5: Wrangle Your Spending - **‘You don’t save what’s left after spending. You spend what’s left after saving.’ ...** - I’m afraid I couldn’t find the original source for this, but it’s widely quoted (and a banger). - **If you’re one of the half of employed South Africans who have a side-hustle…** - 57% of working South Africans are ‘poly-jobbers’, according to the Old Mutual Savings and Investments Monitor 2025 (cited earlier). - **Save more tomorrow…** - Thaler, Richard H. and Benartzi, S. (2004). Save More Tomorrow: Using Behavioral Economics to Increase Employee Saving. Journal of Political Economy, 112(S1), pp.S164–S187\. [https://doi.org/10.1086/380085](https://doi.org/10.1086/380085?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **The average South African spends two-thirds of their money on just three things: food, housing and transport…** - By their definition, housing costs include water, electricity, gas and other fuels too. - Stats SA. Income & Expenditure Survey 2022/2023\. [https://www.statssa.gov.za/publications/P0100/P01002022.pdf](https://www.statssa.gov.za/publications/P0100/P01002022.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **The average age of a first-time buyer is now 37…** - Majola, G. (2025). Crisis: Young South Africans can’t Afford Homes as first-time Buyer Age Soars to 37\. IOL. [https://iol.co.za/property/residential/2025-04-01-crisis-young-south-africans-cant-afford-homes-as-first-time-buyer-age-soars-to-37/](https://iol.co.za/property/residential/2025-04-01-crisis-young-south-africans-cant-afford-homes-as-first-time-buyer-age-soars-to-37/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **South Africa’s house price annual change…** - Underlying data from the First National Bank House Price Index. - Delmendo, L. (2019). South Africa’s Residential Property Market Analysis 2025\. Global Property Guide. [https://www.globalpropertyguide.com/Africa/South-Africa/Price-History](https://www.globalpropertyguide.com/Africa/South-Africa/Price-History?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **If you’d bought the average small house back in 1995, using cash, it would have cost you R132 113…** - The calculations assume the value of the property in 2015 was 867 014 (as per this article) and the average annual nominal growth between 2015 and 2025 was 6% per year. - BusinessTech. (2016). Average House Prices in South Africa: 1995 – 2015\. [https://businesstech.co.za/news/trending/120187/average-house-prices-in-south-africa-1995-2015/](https://businesstech.co.za/news/trending/120187/average-house-prices-in-south-africa-1995-2015/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - The composition of assets by wealth group… - ‘Business assets’ refers to unincorporated businesses, that is, businesses that haven’t been registered as a separate legal entity to the business owner. If it has been registered as a separate legal entity, it counts as ‘stock’. - Chatterjee, A., Czajka, L. and Gethin, A. (2020a). Estimating the Distribution of Household Wealth in South Africa. World Inequality Database. [https://wid.world/document/estimating-the-distribution-of-household-wealth-in-south-africa-wid-world-working-paper-2020-06](https://wid.world/document/estimating-the-distribution-of-household-wealth-in-south-africa-wid-world-working-paper-2020-06?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - Sale price versus property asking price on Property24… - Property24\. Property Trends. [https://www.property24.com/property-trends](https://www.property24.com/property-trends?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ### Chapter 6: Pump Up Your Income - **The average electrician earns R19k…** - I found all of these income averages on Payscale, a very useful website for comparing salaries across careers. [www.payscale.com](http://www.payscale.com/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **The fact that Trevor Noah…** - I’d take any estimate like this with a BIG pinch of salt, since Trevor’s not exactly flashing his paycheques, but you get the point. - Leidy, L. (2024). Trevor Noah’s Net Worth From ‘The Daily Show’ and What He Got Paid for Hosting the Grammys. Parade. [https://parade.com/celebrities/trevor-noah-net-worth](https://parade.com/celebrities/trevor-noah-net-worth?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **If the majority of people who do a job are women, that job will be systematically underpaid...** - See the paper by Levanon, A., England, P. and Allison, P. cited earlier. - **There are hundreds of unemployed junior doctors in South Africa…** - **Moving is absurdly hard and absurdly costly, but it is also one of the most powerful income levers…** - Location has a major impact on income within South Africa, as well as globally. - Biyase, M. and Zwane, T. (2018). An Empirical Analysis of the Determinants of Poverty and Household Welfare in South Africa. The Journal of Developing Areas, 52(1), pp.115–130\. [https://doi.org/10.1353/jda.2018.0008](https://doi.org/10.1353/jda.2018.0008?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - Milanovic, B. (2015). Global Inequality of Opportunity: How Much of Our Income Is Determined by Where We Live? Review of Economics and Statistics 97 (2): 452- 460\. [https://doi.org/10.1162/REST\_a\_00432](https://doi.org/10.1162/REST%5Fa%5F00432?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **Nearly half of 15-34-year olds are not in employment, education or training...** - The exact figure is 45%. Stats SA. Quarterly Labour Force Survey, Quarter 1: 2025\. [https://www.statssa.gov.za/publications/P0211/P02111stQuarter2025.pdf](https://www.statssa.gov.za/publications/P0211/P02111stQuarter2025.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **The unemployment rate for graduates is 12%...** - Stats SA Quarterly Labour Force Survey cited earlier. - **The university dropout rate in South Africa is really high ...** - Mokhantso, B. (2024). Do 40% of South Africa’s university students fail to complete their degrees? threestreamsmedia. [https://threestreamsmedia.com/do-40-of-south-africas-university-students-fail-to-complete-their-degrees/](https://threestreamsmedia.com/do-40-of-south-africas-university-students-fail-to-complete-their-degrees/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **Young people with prior work experience are four times more likely to transition into employment than those without…** - Stats SA (2024). Unemployment in South Africa: A youth perspective. [https://www.statssa.gov.za/?p=17266](https://www.statssa.gov.za/?p=17266&ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **Various studies find that employees expect 30-60% of their current skills to become obsolete within the next five years…** - I’m not sure how much stock I’d put in statements like this, because they are mostly just based on vibes, but here are two. - World Economic Forum (2025). Future of Jobs Report. [https://reports.weforum.org/docs/WEF\_Future\_of\_Jobs\_Report\_2025.pdf](https://reports.weforum.org/docs/WEF%5FFuture%5Fof%5FJobs%5FReport%5F2025.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - Global Labor Market Conference Report. (2023). [https://www.glmc.com/pdf/glmc23-final-report.pdf](https://www.glmc.com/pdf/glmc23-final-report.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **Data about first-generation dollar millionaires** - A fascinating book about this is [**The Millionaire Next Door**](https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/998.The%5FMillionaire%5FNext%5FDoor?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) (1996) by Thomas Stanley and William Danko. It’s quite old now, but I haven’t seen anyone disprove the fundamental claims. - **Look for a way of life…** - Hunter S. Thompson used this phrase in a letter to a friend who was confused about his career. You can find the whole letter online – it’s marvellous. - **There are hundreds of unemployed doctors in South Africa...** - Sukdeo, S. (2024). I’m a medical doctor who graduated cum laude and I can’t get a government job. Daily Maverick. [https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/opinionista/2024-01-21-im-a-medical-doctor-who-graduated-cum-laude-and-i-cant-get-a-government-job/](https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/opinionista/2024-01-21-im-a-medical-doctor-who-graduated-cum-laude-and-i-cant-get-a-government-job/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - Amy Wrzesniewski. - I'm relying on the personal notes I took in that lecture, which I attended at Yale University in 2016, but here's a transcript of a similar discussion. - Wrzesniewski, A. (2022). Crafting Your Job Into a Calling. Yale Talk. [https://salovey.yale.edu/sites/default/files/yale\_talk\_episode\_25\_amy\_wrzesniewski\_transcript.pdf](https://salovey.yale.edu/sites/default/files/yale%5Ftalk%5Fepisode%5F25%5Famy%5Fwrzesniewski%5Ftranscript.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ### Chapter 7: Get the Right Accounts - **Only 11% of South African credit card holders benefit from the interest free grace period at least twice a year…** - Standard Bank (2024). Most consumers are not using interest-free periods on credit cards despite high interest rates. [https://www.standardbank.co.za/southafrica/news-and-media/newsroom/how-to-use-a-credit-card-to-beat-tough-times](https://www.standardbank.co.za/southafrica/news-and-media/newsroom/how-to-use-a-credit-card-to-beat-tough-times?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **Funds that don’t perform well get closed or merged…** - **Passive funds outperform active funds about 90% of the time…** - SPIVA publishes a scorecard every year showing what proportion of active funds outperform passive funds. In the 10-year period to 2024, 92% of South African equity active funds underperformed the benchmark. Over the same time period, the full 100% of global equity fund managers in South Africa underperformed the benchmark. Around 40% of South African equities funds are closed every 10-year period. - Edwards, T., Voros, B., Di Gioia, D, Didio, D. (2025). SPIVA® South Africa Scorecard, mid-year 2025\. S&P Dow Jones Indices. [https://www.spglobal.com/spdji/en/documents/spiva/spiva-south-africa-mid-year-2025.pdf](https://www.spglobal.com/spdji/en/documents/spiva/spiva-south-africa-mid-year-2025.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **Fidelity once did this in-depth study…** - Udland, M. (2014). Forgetful Investors Performed Best. Business Insider. [https://www.businessinsider.com/forgetful-investors-performed-best-2014-9](https://www.businessinsider.com/forgetful-investors-performed-best-2014-9?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - If, like 85% of South Africans, you can’t afford private care… - Cokayne, R. (2024). SA Sees Sharp Decline in Medical Aid Coverage. Moneyweb. [https://www.moneyweb.co.za/news/south-africa/sa-sees-sharp-decline-in-medical-aid-coverage/](https://www.moneyweb.co.za/news/south-africa/sa-sees-sharp-decline-in-medical-aid-coverage/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). ### Chapter 8: Money and your Family - **Economists say that women spend much less on themselves out of pooled family pots...** - **Women are usually the ones pushing for some money to be kept separate...** - Lott, Y. (2016). **When My Money Becomes Our Money: Changes in Couples' Money Management.**Social Policy and Society. [https://doi.org/10.1017/S1474746415000688](https://doi.org/10.1017/S1474746415000688?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **Pooling money typically leads to higher relationship satisfaction...** - Addo, F. (2016). **Financial Integration and Relationship Transitions of Young Adult Cohabiters**. Journal of Family and Economic Issues. [https://doi.org/10.1007/s10834-016-9490-7](https://doi.org/10.1007/s10834-016-9490-7?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **Kids can grasp basic concepts like value, exchange and delayed gratification as young as age 3…** - Holden, K., Kalish, C., Scheinholtz, L., Dietrich, D. and Novak, B. (2024). Financial Literacy Programs Targeted on Pre-School Children: Development and Evaluation. [https://fyi.extension.wisc.edu/financialseries/files/2013/10/CUNA-Report-full-draft.pdf](https://fyi.extension.wisc.edu/financialseries/files/2013/10/CUNA-Report-full-draft.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **The data’s very clear that giving an allowance is a good idea…** - Abramovitch, R., Freedman, J.L. and Pliner, P. (1991). Children and money: Getting an allowance, Credit versus cash, and Knowledge of Pricing. Journal of Economic Psychology, 12(1), pp.27–45\. [https://doi.org/10.1016/0167-4870(91)90042-R.](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/016748709190042R?via%3Dihub&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - **73% of us believe we have a duty to help our family members financially...** - The report by Roberts, B., Struwig, J., Gordon, S. and Radebe cited earlier. - **More than half of over-85-year-olds live with a disability...** - Stats SA. Profile of Persons with Disabilities in South Africa. [https://www.statssa.gov.za/publications/Report-03-01-59/Report-03-01-592011.pdf](https://www.statssa.gov.za/publications/Report-03-01-59/Report-03-01-592011.pdf?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **The Association for the Aged estimates that only 6% of South Africans can retire independently...** - This number is [widely cited online](https://goldenhomecare.com/za/news/care-and-planning-for-a-financially-stable-retirement?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) although I have not been able to track down an original report by the Association of the Aged. I suspect the true source of the statistic might be either the National Treasury or 10X. - Van Niekerk, R. (2025). **Only 6% of South Africans can Retire Comfortably - are you one of them?** Moneyweb. [https://www.moneyweb.co.za/in-depth/10x-investments/only-6-of-south-africans-can-retire-comfortably-are-you-one-of-them/](https://www.moneyweb.co.za/in-depth/10x-investments/only-6-of-south-africans-can-retire-comfortably-are-you-one-of-them/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). - **If you do have people who rely on you financially, or you’ve got secret gold buried under the shed, you need a will…** - I’m indebted to Kenny Meiring for these points. In general, his column ‘The Financial Wellness Coach’ in Daily Maverick is fantastic. - Meiring, K. (2024). Wills: Two Really Good Reasons to Have One Drawn Up. Daily Maverick. [https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/article/2024-09-29-wills-two-really-good-reasons-to-have-one-drawn-up/](https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/article/2024-09-29-wills-two-really-good-reasons-to-have-one-drawn-up/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com). Links were checked in April 2026\. If you spot anything incorrect, missing or broken, please let me know! I'd love to fix it. ### How to Tame a Monster URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/how-to-tame-a-monster/ Last updated: 2021-12-23T17:55:03.000Z When Lwando’s little sister gets mad, she turns into a monster. Can Lwando help her tame her big feelings? *How to Tame a Monster* is an open-license children's book written by me, illustrated by [Anja Venter](https://www.nannaventer.co.za/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com), designed by Wilna Combrinck, and edited by Carla Lever. Book Dash is a South African social impact publisher of free books for very young children. Their vision is that “*Every child should own a hundred books by the age of five”*, before they enter school. To that end, Book Dash gathers creative professionals who volunteer to create new, African storybooks that anyone can freely translate and distribute. They employ their unique, 12-hour book-making methodology to create beautiful new books in just one day! Then, they share with the world, on their website and in physical format for children to own. [Read for free](https://bookdash.org/books/how-to-tame-a-monster/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ### Manage Your Money Like a F-cking Grownup URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/manage-your-money-like-a-f-cking-grownup/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T12:43:41.000Z [Buy it now](https://bookb.ee/go/1472143442?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) ## An update is coming soon 🎉🎉🎉 THRILLING NEWS, EVERYONE: a fully revised edition of*Manage Your Money Like a F-cking Grownup* is dropping in **September 2026**! If you can believe it, the first version came out in 2018\. Back then, Corona was just a beer, Cyril Ramaphosa still had that fresh-president smell, and R100 could still buy you a bag of nuts from Woolies. To put it mildly, a lot of shit's happened. South Africa brought in a brand-new two-tier retirement system, inflation's been cheerfully mugging us all while we sleep, and AI and crypto are either revolutionising finance or making it easier to scam you, depending on who you ask. So I've updated all the numbers (so you don't try to budget on 2018 prices, which would be hilarious but deeply unhelpful), added answers to your most commonly asked questions, and expanded the sections you told me needed more depth, especially around the money side of family, relationships, and life's inevitable curveballs. South Africa doesn't really do pre-orders, so here's the plan: **sign up to the newsletter**, and I'll tell you the moment it's out. ## A new edition of **Manage Your Money Like a F-cking Grownup's* coming in September Join the newsletter to hear when it lands (and get useful money tools dropped straight in your inbox). Notify me Email sent! Check your inbox to complete your signup. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime. ## About the book We never get an instruction manual about how money works. Most of what we learn about money comes from advertising or from other people who know as little as we do. No wonder we make such basic mistakes. No wonder we feel disempowered and scared. No wonder so many of us just decide to stick our heads in the damn sand and never deal with it. In *Manage Your Money Like a F\*cking Grown Up*, Sam Beckbessinger tells it to you straight: **how to take control of your money to take control of your life**. In this clear and engaging basic guide to managing your finances, you will learn: - How to trick your dumb brain into saving more, without giving up fun - How to make a bona fide grown-up budget - Why you need to forget what you’ve learned about credit - How to negotiate a raise - Why buying a house (probably) won’t make you rich - The one super-simple investment you need With helpful exercises, informative illustrations (also: kittens) and straightforward advice, this book doesn’t shy away from the psychology of money, and is empowering, humorous and helpful. The book you wish you’d had at 25, but is never too late to read. *Manage Your Money Like a Fucking Grownup* is available in the following editions and formats: - [**The South African adults edition**](https://www.takealot.com/manage-your-money-like-a-f-cking-grown-up/PLID48608525?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [**The South African teen edition**](https://bookb.ee/go/1776190327?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [**The U.K. edition**](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Manage-Your-Money-cking-Grown-Up/dp/1472143442/ref=sr%5F1%5F1?dchild=1&keywords=beckbessinger&qid=1587828903&sr=8-1&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [**The German edition**](https://www.amazon.com/Manage-Your-Money-cking-Grown-up/dp/3593510901/ref=sr%5F1%5F3?dchild=1&keywords=beckbessinger&qid=1587828908&sr=8-3&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) - [**The German audiobook**](https://www.amazon.com/Manage-Money-cking-Grown-up-German/dp/B082HZCCQS/ref=sr%5F1%5F2?dchild=1&keywords=beckbessinger&qid=1587828908&sr=8-2&ref=sambeckbessinger.com) --- ### Some nice things people have said > Sam Beckbessinger forces us to take a long and hard look at the psychology behind the stupid things we say or do when we try (but often fail) to save money. ***Women24*** > > A must for everyone, if you’re just starting to earn pocket money, or beginning your career, and even if you think you know everything about money and how to handle it. ***The Gremlin*** > Beckbessinger’s book is a compelling and thought-provoking guide to managing your personal finance. ***Forbes Africa*** > A blast of fresh air for anyone who needs help with running their finances. ***The Herald*** > If you think you're just not a numbers-person, or think finance is boring, this will change that. You'll feel super-smart and actually keen to take charge of your sweet, hard-earned money - like a real grown-up. **Mandisa Moffat** > Easy to read, despite covering quite heavy topics . . . Since reading the book I've made far more financial decisions about my future in the last few days than in the entire year so far! **Katy Stevens**, ***katykicker*** > This is not just a personal finance book but a mix of Beckbessinger's personal experience and psychology research into human behaviour, distilled in a useful and effective way that helps us understand why we spend more than we should, why women invest less than men, and how we can improve our financial situations **Sonia**, ***Money for the Modern Girl*** # [Goodreads reviews for Manage Your Money like a F\*cking Grownup](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/38651858-manage-your-money-like-a-f-cking-grownup?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Reviews from Goodreads.com](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/38651858-manage-your-money-like-a-f-cking-grownup?utm%5Fmedium=api&utm%5Fsource=reviews%5Fwidget) ### Manage Your Money Like a Grownup: Teen Edition URL: https://www.sambeckbessinger.com/manage-your-money-like-a-grownup-teen-edition/ Last updated: 2026-07-24T13:48:32.000Z [Buy it now](https://bookb.ee/go/1776190327?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) With illustrations, jokes and fun facts designed to appeal to even the most easily bored reader, this book covers all the basics South African teenagers need to know about money, such as: - The relationship between earning, saving and spending; - How investing works; - Why compound interest is a superpower; - Why we pay taxes; and - The ethics of money. Informed by discussions with real teens and their parents, this book equips readers with practical tips for earning and investing money at any age, as well as providing questions to spark lively dinner-table conversations. > "My 11 year old son really enjoyed this book. It has excellent advice on managing money, avoiding debt, compound interest etc. presented in a very palatable, relatable way for teens and preteens. Highly recommended." Looking for the resources for this book? [Find them here.](https://manageyourmoneylikeagrownup.com/resources.html?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Here's an interview](https://www.buzzsprout.com/1112417/5238817-teaching-teens-about-money-sam-beckbessinger?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) where I talk about the challenges and joys of talking to teens about money. > "Another sure-fire hit on the topic \[of money\]" - News24 [Buy it now](https://shop.sambeckbessinger.com/product/manage-your-money-like-a-grownup/?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) # [Goodreads reviews for Manage Your Money like a F\*cking Grownup](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/55232063-manage-your-money-like-a-grownup?ref=sambeckbessinger.com) [Reviews from Goodreads.com](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/55232063-manage-your-money-like-a-grownup?utm%5Fmedium=api&utm%5Fsource=reviews%5Fwidget)